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  1. 36 likes
    DOING: Having Friday the Wine Day on a Thursday the Ölsday (Swenglish for Beer Day because it rhymes) with my dearest friends. FEELING: Happy, witty, mischievous, and overall PASSIONATE!!! THINKING: I have been interrupted by my buddies in posting this for soon two hours! It is so hilarious! 😂 COMMENT: I love this challenge! It puts me in the MOMENT, in observation of my experience of NOW. That experience covers so much; I am here. Again. With 2 Old Souls, one of them my Entity Mate. We have spent all three together c.a. 100 lifetimes. I have been an active Michael Student the past 40+ lifetimes. They have been active Students the past 30+ lifetimes! Our meeting in this lifetime has been so "accidental" (hahaha). We have chosen the same Attitude, our Essences share the Axis of our Casting, we are all three born in Slavic countries and ended up here in Sweden by choice. And now - here we are. At the kitchen table. Again. Like nearly every week for the past 3 years. I LOVE Monthly Challenges!!! <3 (AND we are painting eggs and watching Life of Brian just because we can 😊 )
  2. 35 likes
    Doing: Just finished approving a bunch of proposed additions to the TLE Library. Which I spent time on primarily because I hosted a sorority group last night and still haven't felt like cleaning up the resulting mess. Thinking: It would be SO lovely if my appointment for a haircut (and fresh application of blue and purple) were TODAY instead of a whole WEEK from now! Feeling: That I should be reluctant to post a bad hair day photo but I really can't get too bothered by that anymore: I don't have to go to work!
  3. 34 likes
    Updated 17 APRIL 2017 Please either private message me or reply below if you would like me to correct, add to, or delete any of the information below! If you don't have your channeling posted here on oTLE yet, please create blog posts so I can provide links. 😘 Eric has created a spreadsheet! Name, Birth-Death, Location, M/F, Brief description (Student/Soul level if known) All channeled by Troy Tolley unless otherwise noted! Sirius (Infant Soul Lives) ? lives (MichaelS Link, NickG Link) 2 lives (Karine Link, HaniK Link, HeidiH Link, Nicholas, VictoriaW) 3 lives (Geraldine, MikeC) 5 lives (Ingun Link) 6,000,000 - 1,000,000 BCE ?, ?, ?, "voice of the stones" (Colleen/Infant 4) ?, ?, ?, Managed the burial rituals related to a mysterious bog (Karine/Infant) Link ?, 5,999,000 years ago, Africa, ?, Discovered how to use crutches (MattD/Infant) Link ?, 4,000,000 years ago, ?, M, Died at 13 years old attempting to "make friends" with predatory felines (Geraldine/Baby 1) ?, 2,500,000 years ago, ?, M, Shaman who poisoned/assassinated those who were tyrannical or abused power (Geraldine/Mid-Baby) ?, 2,000,000 years ago, Egypt, ?, Contributed to the idea of a permanent working door (MattD/Baby) Link ?, 1,500,000 years ago, ?, ?, Lived in a state between Physical and Astral due to high fermentation of foodstuff (Diane, Geraldine) Link ?, 1,000,000 years ago, ?, ?, Created elaborate natural playground for their tribe (DavidB & Eric) Link ?, 1,000,000 years ago, ?, F, Gathered and taught values of Civility, Order, and Courtesy in their best light (Geraldine/Baby 7) ?, 1,000,000 - 750,000 years ago, ?, ?, "Bobby" was faithful servant to medicine man "Geraldine" in makeshift family (Geraldine/Young 4 & Bobby) 999,999 - 10,000 BCE ?, 500,000 years ago, China, ?, Made a leap in communication by naming objects (MattD/Young) Link ?, 38,000's BCE, China (near modern Beijing), ?, Famine prompts one family member to poison and abandon the rest (Eric's family) Link ?, 36,000's BCE, Ireland, M, Created a kind of 3D mosaic art sold to Atlantean collectors, which, when integrated with the structures of Atlantis, created a holographic effect (MikeC) ?, 35,000's BCE, Western Ireland, M, A teacher of Atlanteans; helped those who were able to escape the "fall" and reach the shore of what is now known as Ireland (MikeC) ?, 28,000's BCE, China (near modern Beijing), ?, Lost opportunity to save a boat and crew swept out to sea (Eric's family) Link ?, 17,000's BCE, France, M, Created cave drawings that are now famous (Martha) ?, 13,000's BCE, ?, ?, Chance meeting ignited communication and sharing of ideas between clans, (DavidB & Eric) Link 9,999 - 1,000 BCE ?, 7,000 BCE, Mesopotamia, ?, Created 'daycare" for children of the community (MattD/Mature) Link ?, 6,000 BCE, Mesopotamia, ?, Worked alongside Michael fragments incarnated as innovative brick layers, restoring stability to home life and waxing philosophical about the nature of existence and reality (MikeC) ?, 5,000 BCE, Sumer, ?, Contact with Michael fragments incarnated who were working with off-planet contact (Kurtis) Link ?, 4,600 BCE, Mesopotamia, ?, First of five lives in a 1600-year span as a student of Michael (Jeroen) Link ?, 3,500 BCE, India, ?, Had 11 concurrents but only 2 survived the meteor impact (Ingun/Old 2->3) Link ?, 3,000 BCE, Mesoamerica, ?, Born in Mayan culture which started re-measuring "time" from the aftermath of the meteor impact (Ingun/Old 3) Link ?, 2,800 BCE, Wiltshire England, ?, Astrologer near Stonehenge; helped farmers plan crops and plan for weather (Janet) Link ?, 2,000 BCE, Wiltshire England, ?, Farmer who helped many recover from influenza epidemic using elderberry crop (Janet) Link ?, 1,500's BCE, India, M, During a war, responsible for neglect and mistreatment of animals (Diane) Link ?, 1,000 BCE, Africa, ?, Michael student in a small tribe as the Hyksos spread in power around the region (Jeroen) Link ?, 1,000 BCE, Greece, ?, Members of a family of wine-making specialists whose art carried forward into a later lifetime in Italy (CarolineB & Task Companion) Link 999 - 1 BCE Doran/Dorian, 700's BCE, Ireland, M, Traveled to Isle of Man and set up an isolated life along the coast; Manifested Essence in face of extreme rejection (Karine) Link ?, 750 BCE, Italy, ?, Siblings in a family of wine-making specialists whose art was carried forward from an earlier lifetime in Greece (CarolineB & Task Companion) Link ?, 720's BCE, ?, M, Soldiers hiding from battle who could not stop laughing and were discovered and killed (Martha & Geraldine) ?, 600 BCE, Greece, F, Mated lesbians who helped make artistic expression accessible to children (MikeC & C.T.M.) ?, 500 BCE through 200 CE, China, Several lives learning with early Michael channels (MikeC) ?, 500's BCE, Greece, An artisans who worked on the designs and construction of the Temple of Athena Nike in Greece (Dianna) Leonidas I, 540-480 BCE, Greece, M, Warrior-king of Sparta (JulieAnne/Mature 6) Link Ephialtes of Trachis, 500's, Greece, M, Warrior who betrayed his homeland (AnnaD/Mature 6) Link Aristophanes, 446-386 BCE, Greece, M, Comic playwright (Pat) Link ?, 400's BCE, Italy, F, Triplet sisters who mated with their ETs, who were also triplet,s and traveled in a circus troupe to promote the main circus of Rome (ClaireC, Helen, & Maureen) ?, starting in 400's BCE, Greece, ?, Several lifetimes working with Michael and philosophy of 7 Attitudes (Evelin) ?, 300's BCE, ?, ?, Attempted to gather information alone without help or protection; killed by an arrow to the eye (Eric) Link ?, 250 BCE, Glastonbury England, M, Helped establish a colony that could exist in swampy lands (Janet) Link ?, 200 BCE, China, F?, Caretaker or children in a schooling environment during the Han Dynasty (Jeroen) Link ?, 100 BCE, Egypt, ?, Farmed sunflowers for food and paper (Geraldine/Eric) Link Ovid, 43 BC - AD 17, Italy, M, Roman poet who lived during the reign of Augustus (H2nna) Link Libraries of Alexandria, 300's BCE, Egypt ?, M, Student (Janet/Mature) Link ?, ?, Travelled often to Libraries of Alexandria to study medicine and healing, bringing this home to apply to smaller populations of Greece (MikeC) ?, ?, A street performer who taught dance in exchange for access to the scrolls; part of the Starling group (Diane) Link ?, ?, A librarian who managed teams of editors (Oscar) Link ?, ?, "Scribes" who helped populate the library (Geraldine & Maureen) Link ?, ?, On a team of security for patrons and scholars (Bobby/ Mature 6) Link ?, ?, Philosophers who studied and taught within the various halls (Martha & Troy) Link 1 - 500 CE ?, mid- to late 1st Century, Pompeii & Napolis, M, Family of craftsmen who moved out of Pompeii 9 months before the eruption (MikeC and 6 current family members) Claudius Galenus, 129-210 CE, Greece, M, Physician, surgeon & philosopher in the Roman Empire; Arguably the most accomplished of all medical researchers of antiquity (MattD) Link ?, 130 CE, India, ?, "Nurses" in early experimental hospital system focused on infant and toddler care. (DanielaS & Dawn) Link ?, ?, Greece, M, Fisherman who repeatedly visited Delphi while Michael was teaching via the oracles, which was between 400 BCE & 200 CE (Janet) Link 501 - 999 CE ?, 500's, Greece, M, Liaison/ambassador with non-terrestrials (Janet) Link ?, late-700's, Japan, F, A lifetime emphasizing sexual intimacy as a Geisha at the beginning of the concept of this role in society (Dawn) Link ?, 700's to 1100s, Russian, ?, Several lives learning with early Michael channels (MikeC) ?, 780, Southern Russia, ?, Michael student of Roles and Attitudes (Jeroen) Link Saint Ludmila, c.860-921, Bohemia, F, Catholic Saint and Martyr (Colleen) ?, late 800's, England, F, Enjoyed the safety of King Alfred's rule but didn't like the forced imposition of Christianity (Janet) Link ?, late 900's, Scotland, M, Brothers contributing as fili (poets and scholars of elite classes) (Pat, Deyana, & Julia) Link ?, 900's (mid to late), England, F, Peer and best friend to King Edward "the Martyr"; his death was traumatizing (Eric's mother) Born 1000's CE ?, ?-1000, India, M, Priest who became a painter after a debilitating disease spread to affect his legs (Maureen/Old 6) Link Asa, late 1000's to early 1100's, Jordan/Israel, M, Learned medical treatments during a wave of illness that was killing children and saved nearly every child (MikeC) Born 1100's CE Marie de France, 1160-1215, France/England, F, Medieval poet (Evelin) Snorri Sturluson, 1179-1241, Iceland, M, Historian, poet, politician, and lawspeaker of the Althing (Julia) Link ?, 1100's, ?, M, Priest in a small village who helped the ill, uneducated and those passing through during Crusades (MichaelS) Link ?, mid-1100's, Spain, F, Fought together as archers under "The Order Of the Hatchet," a knighthood bestowed upon women who defended the town of Tortosa against Moorish invasion (Kerrin & Maureen) ?, late 1100's, Paris, M, Part of a team of architects working on Notre Dame Cathedral and two other churches (MikeC/VictoriaW) ?, late 1100's to early 1200's, England, M, Stable-hand that cared for the horses of King Richard and King John (Eric's mother) Born 1200's CE ?, 1200's, ?, M, Taoist Monk who befriended Genghis Khan (Colleen) ?, 1200's, Japan, ?, Worked in fine pottery making and communicated with Michael through dream tracking (Jeroen) Link ?, 1200's, France, ?, Lived as orphans, hiding, securing shelter, and stealing food (MikeC & VictoriaW) Born 1300's CE John Dunstable, 1390-1453, England, M, Composer of polyphonic music and one of the most famous composers active at the time (MikeC) ?, early 1300's, Egypt, A hermaphrodite ("VictoriaW") and "her" physician ("Mike"), who helped preserve her secrets (MikeC & VictoriaW) ?, 1300's, France, F, Mother with invalid daughter near Paris during the time of the Bubonic Plague (Janet) Link Italian Renaissance, 1300's, Italy Francesco Petrarch, 1304-1374, Italy, M, Scholar and poet and one of the earliest humanists (Martha) Giovanni Boccaccio, 1313-1375, Italy, M, Writer, poet, correspondent of Petrarch and important Renaissance humanist (MattD/Old) Link Cosimo de' Medici, 1389-1464, Italy, M, first of the Medici dynasty, de facto rulers of Florence, patron of learning & the arts (Martha) ?, 1300's, Italy, ?, Students of budding philosophy of Humanism (Heidi, Dawn, Daniela) Link ?, 1300's, Italy, ?, Humanist philosopher and student moving among other Michael Students, (Eric/Old 4) Link Born 1400's CE Nezahualcoyotl, 1402-1472, Pre-Columbian Mexico, M, Philosopher, warrior, poet, ruler (AnnaD) Link Desiderius Erasmus, 1466-1536, Netherlands, M, Dutch Renaissance humanist, Catholic priest, social critic, teacher, and theologian (Bobby) Clement Janequin, 1485-1558, France, M, Composer of popular chansons of the Renaissance (Geraldine) ?, early-1400's, Bohemia, M/F, Father/Daughter monad; when daughter was 12, separated by war and found one another again after a search across hundreds of miles (MikeC & C.T.M.) ?, mid-1400's, Greece, M, Olive farmer in Crete who hated olives (Janet/Old 2) Link ?, late-1400's, ?, ?, Lifetimes that contributed to the theme of "hiding things" which included hiding the relationship at that time (MikeC & VictoriaW) ?, possibly 1400's, ?, M, Tried to create "glasses" for reading but blinded self by holding lenses up to the sun (Janet) Link ?, possibly late 1400's, Italy, M, A favored student of Leonardo da Vinci (Karine) Link Italian Renaissance, 1400's, Italy Masaccio (Tommaso di Ser Giovanni di Simone), 1401-1428, Italy, M, The first great painter of the early Italian renaissance (Diane/Old 5) Link Diotifeci d'Agnolo, ?, Italy, M, Father of Marcilio Ficino and personal physician to Cosimo Medici (Maureen) Alessandra di Nanoccio, ?, Italy, F, Mother of Marcilio Ficino (Pat) Marcilio Ficino, 1433-1499, Italy, M, scholar and Catholic priest who was one of the most influential humanist philosophers of the early Italian Renaissance (Troy) Giovanni Cavalcanti, 1444-1509, Italy, M, Poet from Florence under guidance of Ficino (Geraldine) Aldus Manutius, 1449-1515, Italy, M, Humanist, printer and publisher (Geraldine) Pietro Perugino, 1446/1452 - 1523, Italy, Renaissance painter of the Umbrian school (Paulyboy) Born 1500's CE Robert Dudley, 1532-1588, England, M, English nobleman and close to Elizabeth I (AmyD) Link Lettice Knollys, 1578-1588, England, F, Married to Robert Dudley (MattD) Link ?, ?-?, Egypt, ?, Helped to give rise to availability of literature to common people (Maureen/Old 7) Link ?, mid- to late-1500's, Turkey, I, An intersexual in an Ottoman harem (Janet/Old 2) Link ?, 1500s, France (Paris), ?, Stage hand who helped children gain work in the theater in exchange for shelter, food and potential adoption (Eric/Old 4) Link Born 1600's CE William Phips, 1651-1694, United States, M, Governor during Salem Witch Trials (Maureen/Old 7) Link Giacomo Facco, 1676-1753, Italy, M, Baroque violinist, conductor, and composer (Jack White of C1E3 and White Stripes fame) Link Emanuel Swedenborg, 1688-1772, Sweden, M, Scientist, philosopher, theologian, mystic (NicholasG) Link ?, 1600's, Italy, M/F Married Couple, Crew for a traveling circus; "Geraldine" died and "Bobby" had her body mummified for display and later made into a puppet, which fell apart during the first "performance" (Bobby/Geraldine) Link ?, 1600's, Scotland & Ireland, M, Ship master, merchant, and "dreamer"; highly successful in trade and travels while avoiding the slave trade (Eric's mother) ?, 1600's, France, M, Teacher who ran a small school on the outskirts of Paris with emphasis on teaching "the Enlightenment" (DanW) ?, 1600's, France, F, Student in a small school on the outskirts of Paris with emphasis on teaching "the Enlightenment" (CarrieM) ?, mid-1600's, Germany, M, Brothers who were known for playing pranks on the people of their small town and who later turned their skill into a travelling two-man show that specialized in "rigging" towns with pranks (AnnH/Maureen) Link ?, mid-1600's, United States/New England, ?, A lifetime with a Quadrant who stood against religious oppression (MikeC & C.T.M.) Born 1700's CE Europe Guillaume-Francois Rouelle, 1703-1770, France, M, Chemist (PeterK) William Wilberforce, 1759-1833, England, M, Politician, philanthropist, leader of movement to eradicate the slave trade (SabineK) Richard Trevithick, 1771-1833, England, M, Railway inventor and mining engineer (TexB) Link Thomas, mid-1700's, France/Dijon, M, An orphan abandoned at a church (MikeC) Margueritte, mid-1700's, France/Dijon, F, An orphan abandoned at a church (CarrieM) ?, 1700's, France, ?, Coordinated and recruited during French Revolution (Daniela's Older Son) Link ?, 1700's, France, F, A lifetime emphasizing sexual intimacy as a prostitute (Dawn) Link ?, 1700's, Germany, ?, Worked with Michael during "the medium era" (Evelin/Jeroen) Link ?, late-1700's to early-1800's, England, M, A friend of William Wilberforce, helping in several campaigns (MikeC) United States Frances Wardale, 1746-?, England/US, F, Connections to Captain Cook and Founding Fathers (Cong) Link William Rawle, 1759-1836, United States, M, Lawyer and firefighter (MattD's Son) Link Deborah Sampson, 1760-1827, United States, F, Fought in the American Revolution disguised as a man (AmyD) Born 1800's CE Asia ?, 1800's, Indonesia, ?, Lived like an intensive course in Self-Karma (Ingun/ Old 6) Link Europe James Busby, 1802-1871, born in Scotland, M, The "father" of the Australian wine industry and helped found the laws of New Zealand (FelixCG) Charles-Valentin Alkan, 1813-1888, France, M, Pianist and composer (MattD's Dad) Edward Arista Vincent, 1825-1856, England/United States, M, Cartographer (NickF) Link Joseph Bell, 1837-1911, Scotland, M, Lecturer at University of Edinburgh; inspiration for Sherlock Holmes (MattD) Alfred Cheetham, 1867-1918, England, M, Antarctic explorer (Bobby) ?, 1868-1925, France, F, flower farmer (DanielaS/Old 3) Link Stanley Lord, 1877-1962, England, M, Captain of the SS Californian that did not aid the Titanic (HaniK) Link Edgard Varèse, 1883-1965, France/US, M, Composer and founder of electronic music (Tristan's Daughter) Lev Vygotsky, 1896-1934, Russia, M, Soviet psychologist and founder of cultural-historical psychology (Deyana) Link ?, late 1800's, France, M, Bouncer at a popular cabaret in Paris (PeterK) Walter and Emma, late 1800's, Germany, M/ F, A couple and active Michael students (NickG & Nadine) Link ?, 1800's, Germany, ?, Worked with Michael during "the medium era" (Evelin, Jeroen, & MikeC) Link ?, 1800's, Germany, F, Sisters who were of the many regular attendees at gatherings where Michael worked through mediums (Diane & Maureen) Link ?, born 1800's, Czechoslovakia, M, Architect who left Prague for Brazil just before WWI (Janet/Old 2) ?, late 1800's, England, M, A seaman on an Antarctic Expedition with Robert Scott (Martha/Old 5) European Art Movements Siegfried Bing, 1838-1905, France, M, Art Nouveau art dealer (Kerrin) Theo van Gogh, 1857-1891, Netherlands, M, Art dealer and brother to Vincent (JamesD) ?, ?-?, France?, M, Artist (Line illustrator) who knew Vincent van Gogh (Colleen) Marc-Andre Raffalovich, 1864-1934, France/England, M, Poet and art patron (ErysW's friend) Link Alfons Maria Mucha, 1860-1939, Czech Republic, M, Art Nouveau painter (Sarah) Link Aubrey Beardsley, 1872-1898, England, M, Art Nouveau illustrator (DanielaS/Old 2) Link Mabel Beardsley, 1871-1916, England, F, Actress and sister to Aubrey (Daniela's husband) Link Austin Osman Spare, 1886-1956, England, M, Artist and occultist (ErysW) Link ?, late-1800's, France, M, Lived in a stable in a barn to pursue paintings inspired by Picasso, an acquaintance (Martha/Old 5) United States Andrew Jackson Davis, 1826-1910, United States, M, Spiritualist (Eric/Old 4) Link Annie Edison Taylor, 1838-1921, United States, F, First person to survive a trip over Niagara Falls in a barrel (Karine) Link Mary Telford, 1839-1906, United States, F, Civil War nurse & author in Tennessee area (MattD's Son) Adam, ?, United States, M, During the American Civil War struggling with demand for survival and express self through stories (Connor) Link Florence Kelley, 1859-1932, Philadelphia, M, Social and political reformer for workers' and children's rights (Martha/Old 5) Link Wilbur Wright, 1867-1912, United States, M, Aviation pioneer (Diane) Link Alice Brady, 1892-1939, United States, F, Actress in early Hollywood (Janet/Old 2) Link Gustavo and Kate Arcaris, late 1800's, United States, M & F, Knife thrower & assistant (Johnny Depp & Susan343c1e7) ?, early-to-late-1800's, Boston, ?, Fulfilling the Task of a Configuration for bringing theater to the public (MikeC) ?, mid-to-late-1800's, Virginia, ?, Member of a family of freed slaves who crossed lines during American Civil War to reach safety in the North (MikeC & 6 of current family) ?, late-1800's, Virginia, ?, Part of the movement away from slave farming that contributed to the birth of West Virginia (Eric) Link ?, late-1800's, Pennsylvania, F, Tea and tarot reader who lived with the repercussions of severe burns to the body and face (Diane) Link Born 1900's CE ?, early-1900's, ?, M, Writer, composer, and coordinator of events for "jazz singing" circles of the 1930's (MikeC) ?, early-1900's, ?, F, Singer in "jazz singing" circles of the 1930's (VictoriaW) Asia ? , mid1900's, North Korea, ?, 2 short lives that met with sudden deaths, each invested in trying to make a difference toward concepts of freedom (Karine/Old) Link United States Varian Fry, 1907-1967, United States, M, Journalist, teacher, rescued refugees from Nazis (DanielaS/Old 3) Link Jonas Salk, 1914-1995, United States, M, Developed Polio vaccine (Marty) Carl Solomon, 1928-1993, United States, M, Writer (Connor) Link ? , ?, New York City, M?, Contributed to graffiti art movement (Daniela's Younger Son) Link Europe Helen Loraine Allison, 1909-1912, England, F, Only first-class child passenger to die on the Titanic (Heidi) ?, 1937-1947, Germany, F, A Romani child who died in at Auschwitz (Martha/Old 6) Link ?, ?-1940's, ?, M/F, Jewish family en route to emigrate to the US but were intercepted and separated (MichaelS family) Link ?, ?-1940's, France, F, Died in concentration camp (Kerrin) ?, ?-1940's, Europe, 5 Family Members, Died during experimentation based on disabilities (Dean Family) Link ?, ?-1940's, Germany, ?, Died in hospital bombing (DanielaS/Old 3) Link ?, ?-1956, France, F, Art patron in Paris and friends with Chagall (DanielaS/Old 3) Link ?, 1960's, ?, F, Dancer with a pop group (JeanH) ?, ?-?, France, ?, Counselor in Paris after WW2 (JeanH) Collages Created by Matt Dean
  4. 34 likes
    Doing: Trying to get my workday started on this Thursday morning and being distracted by TLE Feeling: Embarrassed and exposed Thinking: Where is the spot fix tool on this camera app? How come I can't figure out how to work it? I want to smooth out that vertical line in the middle of my forehead. What the fuck is that line?? This light doesn't do me any favors. I'm sooo white. Oh, whatever. I shouldn't care about what I look like anyway. I'm more evolved than that, right? I'll just post it.
  5. 33 likes
    Doing: Working at my desk and being distracted by TLE. Feeling: I just got over being sick last week and am now feeling optimal again. I like my job, the people are saner, and there are no daily fires to put out. The workload is pretty high at the moment but it's not that stressful. Thinking: My glasses look lopsided on my face. I think it's funny how we're so critical of the way we look in pictures.
  6. 33 likes
    DOING: getting caught up on TLE and leaving for the Drx appointments soon! FEELING: better than I have in a long time THINKING: what the hell happened to my face? It was swallowed by a hobo!
  7. 32 likes
    ENERGY REPORT April 2017 2017 OVERLEAVES ROLE: Priest (emphasized all year) CENTER: Higher Emotional (emphasized all year) GOAL: Submission (emphasized Jan - Mar) MODE: Passion (emphasized Apr - Jun) ATTITUDE: Realist (emphasized Jul - Sep) CHIEF FEATURES: Greed (emphasized Oct - Dec) APRIL launches emphasis on the Mode of the year, and when the Mode moves into emphasis, there tends to be a shift toward the HOW of the year and the WHO of the year. The Mode emphasizes relating and this shows up in how one relates to the Goal and to whom one relates. It is helpful to think of the Mode as one’s “path” to the Goal and the way one relates to people along the way. The Mode this year is Passion, which is the “path” of Self-Actualization that is created from sorting through Identification. Self-actualization is the motivation for fulfillment of one’s potential. Identification is the process of experimenting with one’s potential. Identification is a Negative Pole because it is a restricted sense of self. Identification is an important part of the process of fulfilling one’s potential because it allows one to experiment and see reflections of oneself in other people and events. One cannot remain here, though, or the individual loses his or her sense of identity and it becomes entangled and dependent upon others. Self-actualization frees you from dependence upon others for your permission, potential, and person. Self-actualization sees inspiration as an invitation to bring more of your authentic self out into the world, while Identification tends to leave one depending on others in the world for a false sense of self. Passion blurs the line between the self and that with whom or which you relate, because it creates a circuit of energy that can perpetuate itself indefinitely. Self-actualization can fully invest in a relationship and still know the difference between self and other, whereas Identification loses the self in other. When Passion is in the Positive Pole, one can cook a dinner for a loved one that is full of love, and if the loved one does not “love” the dinner, it does not mean love is lost between them. The dinner is an extension, an actualization of Love, but it is not you. When Passion is in the Negative Pole, if the loved one does not “love” your dinner, then it is assumed that you must not be loved, either. April, then, brings with it a collective surge in Passion that will likely begin in the Negative Pole of Identification. For our students, this will likely show up as an exploration, sorting, and realization of any dependency on old ideas of the self and identities that no longer serve you, especially if they are or have been entangled in certain relationships, time period, things, locations or behaviors. We see our students responding to this as either being overwhelmed with the various ways their identities are hooked into others and retreating into themselves, or being enthusiastically curious about new terrain of the self and feeling a drive to own and be more of themselves. In the world at large, this collective surge may play out very differently among the younger souls who, when confronted with their reflection will tend to blame, attack, and seek to destroy that which they do not wish to see about themselves. This has been and will be in effect all year, but the emphasis may bring this out in fairly pronounced ways. This may “get ugly.” Our suggestion is to let yourself focus on your own sorting out of identities and let your path of self-actualization be what helps make your world at large a better place. We will have more to say as the weeks progress into the season, of course, but for now our students can do the work of differentiating between what defines you by choice and what confines you by chance. DATES OF INTEREST (dates are approximate): April 12th -- ENERGY SHIFT -- PASSION - For most of our students the “official” shift into the wave of Passion begins around April 12th. This may be marked by the enthusiasm and curiosity or by the recoil and withdrawal described above. April 15th - 20th -- NEXUS - DIVERGENCE - Parallels are likely to branch regarding themes of War. HELPFUL THOUGHTS OVER April: ARE YOU DEFINED OR CONFINED? - As you look at your life, relationships, behaviors, etc. it can be helpful in differentiating what serves you and what does not serve you when by determining what is an extension of you and what is not, or what defines you vs what confines you. Sometimes what confines you can be transformed into what defines you when you bring your awareness of choice to the dynamic, but if it cannot, then it may be time to free yourself from this in some way. INVOLVE YOURSELF BUT DO NOT DISSOLVE YOURSELF - When you throw yourself into something passionately, this can be quite powerful and empowering, but when you throw yourself into something passionately as a means to escape yourself, you can always count on losing yourself. When you “lose” yourself you can create a cycle of constantly searching for what is already there: you.
  8. 32 likes
    Knowing that I have been struggling with depression, health issues, and precarious life and death issues with family can only go so far in helping remedy the effects of losing my footing with backlog and scheduling, and apologies are pretty useless, so here are the plans for backlog, TLE, and me: BACKLOG LIVE SESSIONS - if you had a live session that got bumped and it was never rescheduled properly, please schedule this again using the TIME BLOCKS in the Services Calendar. Scroll down to the TIME BLOCKS section and choose the appropriate amount of time, adding a note that describes what is being rescheduled. If you have any questions or concerns, please see TLE Bobby. EMAIL SESSIONS - Profiles, surrogate, and question submissions will be completed and emailed to you. No need to reschedule these, but you may get an alert as I manually schedule these for a proper time slot. Otherwise, hang in there. They are coming. 5 PAST LIVES/FUTURE LIVES - The last time I scheduled these I got sick, so I apologize for this reschedule. April 24th and May 1st are set aside to complete and deliver all of these, so hang in there! SUPPORT TICKETS - All of these will be addressed by the end of April. NOTICE - Michael Speaks will be bumped in April for the sake of creating more time for backlog. TLE COMMUNITY COMMUNITY CHALLENGES - Community Challenges have returned! Watch or bookmark the Monthly Community Challenges forum to participate! FRINGE & WHACKADOODLE RETURNS - by popular demand we will find a way to return FaW to the schedule and continue our explorations with Michael on topics cherished by many of you and especially by Geraldine. Details to come. SUNDAY VIDEO CHATS - Starting in May, I plan to set up one of the SoulSlosher Sunday chats with a focus on a topic for those who can and/or will participate in face-to-face discussion. I will always be a champion for any technology that helps bring us closer, and there is nothing like a real live real-time conversation. If this goes well, we may expand these into live channeling events and classes. TLE GREAT GATHERING 2017 - Official launch for registration to attend TLEGG2017 will begin in JUNE, so please be prepared. TROY'S HEALTH AND WELL-BEING VITAMINS D & B - So I found out that I have been living with a total depletion of Vitamin D and B. This has contributed greatly to my lack of focus, energy, and strength. I had no idea! So now I am getting my needed sunlight, supplements, and I'm feeling so much better! Who knew! DIABETES - Friday I will find out if I have diabetes. With the recent scare from my Dad over this illness, I have to take this possibility very seriously. My diet is already optimal for anyone with diabetes, but I am overweight and drink a LOT of Coke. So I joined a gym and no longer drink Coke, because those things needed to change anyway. I'll let know what my test results are as soon as I know. CHANNEL CAM - All of my coworkers are dead people, so one of my favorite things to help keep me feeling a part of the world of the living is to live-stream during my workday so you can pop in and say hi, listen to music with me, and generally bring life to my day. Now that I'm shaking off that weird depression and don't feel so inclined to hide from the world, I plan to activate the Channel Cam again soon. Stop by and say hi when you see me streaming. And enjoy the music! FROLIC FRIDAYS - One thing that I tend to do is spread my work across all 7 days a week all day every day and then I either paralyze myself with overwhelm, burn my energy up, or find an extreme imbalance between being in the Causal and being in my life. Starting this week, I will no longer work AT ALL on Fridays. I have to unplug from the Causal and plug into my life. This is not to avoid work, but to help my other days of work have more energy and focus. As many of you know, I am a hardcore gamer and this is one of my favorite things to do in my downtime, so I plan to use Fridays for total permission to play. Please consider hanging out with me in my livestream! I would love your company. Register at Twitch.tv and Beam.pro so you can chat with me, and be sure to follow my channels for alerts when I stream. A BIG THANK YOU Thank you for always trusting me, rolling with the curveballs of my life and health, and for being patient and kind when I fall so short of expectation and professionalism. I live with a huge part of my being set aside while hooked into the Causal, so my life can get a bit wonky. Let's see if all of the above can be pulled off and get me back on track and stay on track for as long as possible! -troy
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    Hey everyone, I want to share something that may seem obvious to some of you but may be just the thing that helps snap someone out of the shock and depression resulting from this recent election. The American Presidential election threw me off in ways that I could never have known would affect me so deeply. Without realizing it, I found I could not pull myself up and out of this shock. I am not a pessimistic or depressed person, but I was spiralling, deeper and deeper into a darkness I have never felt in my life before and it scared me. I have never felt like this before. I've had some really rough experiences in my life, too, and never have I felt this claustrophobic anger, helplessness, and darkness. I tried so hard to make sense of it and to snap out of it and it would not go away. In my most-recent visit to my Drx, I asked her if I should get a professional opinion and diagnosis for Depression. She asked me to describe my symptoms and as I went through them, she asked me if this was happening since the election. She said that she has yet to have a patient visit her since the election who has not described the same symptoms of anxiety and depression. She said that even she who is not prone to these things has the same symptoms of depression and anxiety and insomnia and even night terrors. She said she has never been awakened from deep sleep by anxiety in her life, but she has been struggling with this since the election. She explained to me that this "Trump Effect" has rocked the psychological and psychiatric community to the point that formal studies have been done and continue to be performed. She said that these studies are concluding that the symptoms that are so pervasive in those affected by the election are actually signs of strong mental health and high intelligence. She explained that the "Trump Effect" comes from the blow to our psyche when facing a barrage of lies, deceit, and false information that you can't process fast enough or do anything to counter. She said that if you feel depressed, anxious, and affected by this recent election then it means you are sane, intelligent, and stable. The symptoms are "good signs," even if they are overwhelming. The depression, anxiety, overwhelm, etc. come as a result of suddenly losing all trust in your senses, in your ability to make sense of things, creating a huge wedge within yourself that spreads into an exhausting fracturing of the self. This is a known tactic of dictators and tyrants as a way to break down the security and stability of a society from the inside, out. For some reason, just knowing this helped tremendously. I felt a huge weight lifting and a sense of control coming back to me. It mattered to me to know that my symptoms indicated something healthy in me and not something broken. Trump has turned reality on its head through lies, deceit, delusion, while mixed with very real threats and dangers to our well-being, and this has slammed up against our collective conscious and intelligence and sanity. The confusion and overwhelm, depression and anxiety, all come from trying to make sense of what will never make sense. The solution is to surrender to the fact that this man is fucking insane... and you are not. Trust yourself. It's not your job to make sense of this insanity, but to go forward accepting that you are right. It's fucking insane. We have to deal with that, but we will never understand it or make sense of it, and we cannot lose our sense of trust in ourselves because that is the underpinning of security and stability in ourselves and society. It may seem silly, but knowing all of this lifted a huge weight of anxiety from me and helped me trust myself again when I had no idea I was being pitted against myself. It's a process, but it's helped tremendously in getting me out of my funk that was affecting my ability to channel for so long. I hope just knowing this seemingly obvious thing can help some of you. Troy
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    Doing. At the green cuisine eating a salad, some kale, some beans, some water. feeling. Serious...feeling very serious...feeling a bit angry...ANGRY...though this has been common for the last couple of months...along with the anger, feeling optimistic. thinking. About how much I cage myself in with this belief that My value is dependant on wether i am making a difference in the world or not. How this belief has been the cage and cause of so much comparision, paralysis, self criticism, doubt. The optimism comes from increasingly nurturing the truth that I do matter NOW. My kindness is important NOW. My truth is important NOW. Maybe just to me, and that is alright. love you all
  11. 32 likes
    Feeling content and curious. It's finally stopped raining here in Vancouver. Time to take a walk!
  12. 32 likes
    Eating peanuts. Thinking about how many peanuts I've been eating lately. Feeling like I should cut down on peanuts.
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    This community challenge is AWESOME. I loved reading all the posts, hahahah! Doing: Taking a bit of rest before diving back into essay writing marathon again for school... and waiting for a friend to arrive! Just finished a Vividry exercise to clear my mind, 11/10 would recommend Feeling: Confounded. Geezus #*$&, my ego/Chief Feature is relentless! During the exercise I realized how much of my daily stream of thoughts is driven by both Arrogance and Stubbornness. *collapses in self-implosion* Thinking: Dear life and Tao and all my room's knick-knacks... what is everything and holy shit the human mind is quite fascinating 😲
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    Hi. It is 739am on Friday 14 April here, and I have four days off (WOOHOO!!!!!) work, and I am in my dressing gown which I call Cheryl, as Cheryl is a classy lady. It is a polarfleece dressing gown, I am making a cup of tea, and I have not even washed my face. This is how much I love you guys on the honesty = intimacy scale. Normally I would wash my face and try and look presentable but today is exceptionally honest. This is a great thread. i am in a good mood as the worst storm to hit New Zealand (where I am) in 49 years has just been (so far) very pleasant gentle rain, and not the 150k winds predicted. Happy easter to you all.
  15. 31 likes
    Doing: Sending business emails. Enjoying the sun flooding into my living room. Feeling: Relaxed, hopeful. Hungry. Thinking: I must tidy up my apartment this weekend.
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    Doing: at work for the last time before my vacation to southern California for the week. We better not get a fire tonight, i need my beauty sleep so i get discovered in Hollywood, LoL. feeling: feeling ok, ive been better, but ive been worse. My health is an ongoing struggle. Just very tired and fatiqued with joint pain alot. I Get so many colds it makes me want to cry. ill keep fighting though. My job isnt helping my health at all, but what can you do. thinking: man is my face fat. I dont really like myself in any pictures. I would look way cooler with a giant zz top beard.
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    Doing: Waiting to head in to see a production of the Merry Wives of Windsor opera production with the two high school choirs I work with / am chaperoning for their choir tour. Thinking: I am incredibly blessed, and find it amused that I am thinking of how tired I am, my back hurts, but things are going to be ok ultimately. Wondering why teenagers wear very high heels to formal events even though they wobble and fall over and/or hurt their feet. *cultural shrug* That's a big topic I suppose. Feeling: Anxiety for "the world" and myself in it. At the same time, I can only continue to make music and focus on my whole-food-vegan weight loss diet. So very sick of my batch cooking. Feeling like I'll change things drastically with what I prepare for next week.
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    DOING: Sitting on a chair eating food my boss made me. I appreciate the sentiment, it's just really oily. FEELING: I am so lethargic and annoyed at everything right now. I don't know if it's the food or something else... The moment someone talks it annoys the hell out of me right now. I'm being a real bitch to my poor family, though they seem to be ok with it. Thank you for putting up with me, family. THINKING: This pic makes me look like a model with reaaaallly big hands. And I have a big nose, wow.
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    Doing: Where are my specs? Feeling: confused.
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    Doing: Eating lunch at work and listening to the comedy podcast Anna Farris is Unqualified. (It's currently paused). Thinking: I should be doing the next section in the online mini course I need to finish for the fellowship program I'm in, or studying for the next certification test I need to take this saturday or studying for the GRE and math portion of the certification tests I still need to take but have not yet registered for, or researching schools so I can send resumes and cover letters to principals for work in the fall. Feeling: Rather anxious about how I'm going to do all the shit the program has us doing within the next two months and dreading having to become a morning person once the training starts in earnest in june. I have never ever in my life been a morning person. I'm also trying to not feel guilty about not doing fellowship things for a few days just to give my brain a chance to breathe.
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    Eating a bag of chips and obviously reading about the Monthly Community Challenge on TLE 😉 Feeling pretty tired and lethargic. It's been a challenge to stay active and awake this week. All I feel like doing is sleeping, even though I'm having incredibly exhausting dreams when I do. Happy Nexus! Thinking thank god it's a four day weekend due to easter. I look tired as shit. I can sleep the whole day tomorrow if I feel like it!!!
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    Personal Session with Troy and Michael on 28 MAR 2017 MEntity: Hello, Daniela. We can begin. DanielaS: Hi Michael. Today I wanted to ask about My Wounding using the questions that Astra and then Bobby used to start the discussion: Where is My Wounding? How is it affecting me today? What is the biggest obstacle it presents in my life? Where did it come from? How can I get past it? How will I know when I AM getting past it? MEntity: We see your wounding concentrated in your stomach, your Solar Plexus, your Moving Center. MEntity: It affects you today in fewer ways than it has in the past, but it remains an obstacle. It's primary effect is second-guessing yourself, undermining your inspiration, and convincing you that your intentions and actions are not good enough, never enough, and are futile. MEntity: The biggest obstacle it presents to you in your life is an obstacle to your flow of inspiration and your sense of effectiveness, or mattering. MEntity: The wounding arose from a personal incident of ridicule or shaming around a good intention "gone bad," or awry, and from the cultural imprinting of the impossible task of being a "superheroine" for those dependent upon you and an independent creator and thinker focused on what is important to you. MEntity: This is not an unfamiliar wound and it taps into a great collective process of evolution, healing, and transcendence around gender at the moment. MEntity: The way to "get past it" would be exactly as you have been. This way is to carry it with you without ignoring it, keeping it in your awareness, and knowing when you are pushing through even as you carry the weight of it. You push through by trusting in your long goal and by not being distracted with superficial recognition. MEntity: This path may have been exhausting and even painful because it was always in your awareness, but to have ignored it or buried it would have potentially turned you into your own "worst enemy." Instead, you have become, and continue to become, the real world heroine of strength and inspiration that you knew was always truer than being eclipsed by duties. DanielaS: Thank you. Is this Wounding a source of the depression and thoughts of suicide that have been with me since I was a teenager? Is this why, even in good times, I feel like I just want to die, to be done with the physical plane for a while? I've never been treated for depression; it's just always seemed like a Personality thing I have to overcome. MEntity: You know you are healing and transcending this wounding when you make a choice motivated by CHOICE, not just obligation, nor as defiance. It is because it is your own. It is because it inspires you. It is because it matters to you. And you learn the range of choice includes obligatory choices but these do not have to contradict or undermine your creative choices. MEntity: Of course it is a part of that depression. Of course it is. It is heavy. It is painful. It is daunting. Yet you continue. And that is the inspiration. That is you. That is the truth of you. The dismissal of life is not true, is not you. MEntity: But the choice to live, the curiosity for the next day, the trust in yourself, however faint and distant, is always what you have chosen to nurture. It may not feel like it, but it is true. And you are proof of that. DanielaS: Yes. Did this personal incident of shaming happen in school? I'm trying to think of what it could have been. MEntity: Keep in mind that this wounding is NOT YOU. It is yours, yes, but it is not you. Wounding is something that happens, not something that IS. MEntity: It was around the age of 9, we think, and it involved a quietly humiliating moment that triggered all of the lives resonating to a similar experience and this rushed in as something you would work to heal, once and for all. DanielaS: Interesting. This may be unrelated, but is this Wounding related at all to the lower back ache I've been experiencing for over a year now. After sleeping for about 4 hours or so, my lower back begins to ache and feel stiff and it keeps me from having long, restful sleep. I am wondering if you have any suggestions about that. MEntity: All ailments will be related to any core Wounding in some way. The struggle in the Solar Plexus is not just in the "front" of the body and can easily involve the relevant discs of the spine. DanielaS: At the turn of the year, I suddenly got the urge to take up kick-boxing! This may be an activity that could work some of this Wounding out. I want to kick and punch! MEntity: We agree. It may also help to strengthen the back, though we caution that this condition in the back be considered seriously as you experiment with kick-boxing. MEntity: We must mention that because of your sense of depression, your immune system is also affected, and this ties into the back, as well. DanielaS: I hardly ever get sick. Sometimes I wish I would so I could rest. MEntity: It is not about being sick. MEntity: Chronic immune system issues can lead to physical and mental burdening, fatigue, with muscles and flow of energy blocked, often leading to such things as fibromyalgia. MEntity: And "of course" you do not "get sick." This would undermine the superheroine's existence. DanielaS: LOL. I'm wearing tights and a cape right now. MEntity: Immune system issues can show up in incremental ways or as a sudden surprise. MEntity: Everything you do to keep reaching forward, or kicking and punching through, is a healing to any effects on all of the bodies. MEntity: On a side note: MEntity: You simply need different sources of pleasure. Routines are important, but can numb one to pleasure. Any active pursuit of pleasure, of something different, fun, anything to break up any routines, may be of help on all levels. MEntity: We must conclude here for today, Daniela. What you continue to do for your life and those in your life is Love. It is Agape. It is important to embrace that truth. Good day to you. Goodbye, for now. DanielaS: Thank you! ********************************************************************************* This information definitely rang true. I still don't know what the triggering incident could have been, but I guess it doesn't really matter. I do feel the pressure of trying to be a good mother while also being the main source of income for my family AND having the time and energy to try to be an "Independent creator and thinker." The "superheroine." I think a lot of women struggle with this today. It was really good to get the affirmation that I am already "doing it right," so to speak, by consciously carrying my depression with me, living with it and pushing through it. I had thought these suicidal thoughts were a shameful defect, a "what the hell is wrong with me." But I can appreciate now how strong I am to stare those thoughts in the face almost on a daily basis and beat them. I will try to find more ways to bust out of my routines and do things that feel good for me. It's time. My platform for this year was "Reward." I think I can allow myself some!
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    DOING: Getting ready for TAing today, battling procrastination hard THINKING: So much to do, so much to see... FEELING: Serene and focused yet completely unfocused and distracted :-P
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    Finally having some Me Time after a busy week juggling university projects (Jesus take the wheel!!) and cleaning my home. Reading some pages of 'Howl's Moving Castle', keeping up with TLE, and going to bed soon. Feeling good, sleepy. And grateful. These 4 days off are good for my bodies. And I love, love you guys. Thinking that that clear and creative minds are wonderful. And 'sleep is like a time portal to breakfast'...some memes have wisdom.
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    DOING: Having a quick sit down with a sandwich and a baby monitor and checking my emails in the mids of ohmygod10000things+todo! FEELING: I'm feeling a bit exhilarated that this photo so conveniently shows what's going on in here! I was also just feeling amused and grateful: My laptop is on top of a bed that has been brought down to the living room (from the guest room, occupied by my visiting father) for my husband to sleep on sometimes when he needs to get a proper sleep. But it heats up on soft surfaces, so as our kitchen floor (behind that plastic sheet) is under renovation, i so happened to have an oven grid (why though??) next to me on the living room table so i put that under the laptop. Perfect! I finally just managed to get myself another sandwich (baby sleeping, woohoo), even a glass of juice (i was quite happy about that one) and had a chair, too, to sit on... but it was hard and cold, aaaand one look & there just so happened to be a random cushion next to me amongst the mess to fix the problem. So i was literatlly thinking just before clicking that TLE email open: I just have everything i need don't i!! So i get to sound all positive and profound hahaha ;D THINKING: All sorts of things as usual. But amongs them, how i would not and have not ever posted a selfie anywhere i don't think, so this is a big exception for me. And also it's definitely part of my growing process with CF's that has been going on for a little while. My hair is a mess because my daughter had been pulling it earlier ;P I really shouldn't be spending so much time on this thing, I should be painting skirting boards because my free time will be up very soon! Against everything i am, i will not re-read this before posting, to save time, but also to keep this very NOW - if it's messy, yeah! True!
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    Doing: Sitting on the floor of my roommate's bedroom listening to the fire truck rumbling outside the window. Soon I'll be biking to the Curio Theatre to hang speakers for a show I'm sound designing. Feeling: A tad nervous - it'll be my first time doing a speaker hang as the designer, and I'm just hoping I'll be able to get the damn sound system working. Thinking: When I get back home from the speaker hang, what movie do I want to watch?
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    Channeled by Troy March 29 2017 Tristan: Hi Micheal, I was hoping you could elaborate upon an off earth culture that was mentioned in the comment section of the "Aliens 101" material. I can't find the original comment so I'm paraphrasing from memory. You had said this sentient species is humanoid, telepathic, very compassionate and that their successful design has gone through several energy ring cycles. The strangest thing is that they mostly live ( or completely live) on space ships. What dynamics are involved with an old soul culture exiting and an infant soul moving in? How did they come to live on space ships and could you describe the these ships? Thank you Micheal MEntity: This species is deeply rooted in exploration and discovery, and as such as mastered a level of universal traversal that is fairly unmatched. As a Design is cycling off and out of this particular species, mutations tend to be maximized to an extent that the markers for the species remain "the same," but different, much like Homo Sapiens exist along a branch of very similar, but different versions of itself. MEntity: The markers act as the anchor for the new Sentience to "move in," and the transition is not much different from how it occurs in any other way. All new Sentience has an Old Sentience in place to help settle in. MEntity: In the case with the species in question, there is an overlapping of time that allows for this, and it can last for what may be the equivalent of centuries. MEntity: The greatest difference here is that the new variation on the species is so similar that the transition is seamless. MEntity: However, because there is an obvious wave of difference among those incoming as Infant Souls among the Old, and because this lineage has retained records for nearly all of these cycles, it is a celebrated phase that is known to them as something that might translate into SPIRAL. MEntity: The original motivation for the ships was to move into orbit around a home planet that had become unlivable. It was determined that the planet would be "fixed" and then a return to the planet would come, eventually. They succeeded, but by that time it had been many generations. MEntity: Many of the new generation had begun alternative solutions and this started a move beyond the planet. Tristan: Just curious I'm not really understanding why it's such a big deal for another sentient species to fly over to another planet and say "hey what's up ya'll". Is such a scenario so catastrophic (psychically speaking) as people tend to think it will be? MEntity: Ironically, only a relative few remained on the planet and the majority moved into continued exploration. MEntity: The ships have morphed over time due to access to a universe of materials and would now seem to be living structures of biotechnology and bioluminescence. MEntity: In response to your last question: When a species is Infant and early Baby, and when a species is Mature and Old, the exposure to off-planet life is fairly simple for different reasons. When a species is dominated by Baby and Young, then exposure can be catastrophic. MEntity: For those species skilled in travel, there are fairly obvious symptoms to indicate the degree of impact that exposure can have on a species. MEntity: By the time a species is skilled at such traveling, there does tend to be a degree of extensive compassion involved. This is not true for all, but for most. Tristan: Thank you Micheal, very fascinating!
  28. 28 likes
    I am writing up a post to help explain my quiet distance over the past few months or more and a launch into community and service improvements that I had wanted to implement earlier, but couldn't. I don't mean to sound mysterious. It's just that it's the first day I've felt a ray of light on my face and wanted to check in. Here's to the hope that my psychological and physiological fatigue are slowly coming to an end and I can "be myself" again. More details coming over the weekend!
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    Doing: Enjoying instant coffee right now, lovely! Feeling: Not bad, turns out kicking the smoking habit is paying off, so far. Thinking: Paying attention to the Syrian and N. Korea situation. Those silly souls at varying ages.
  30. 28 likes
    Doing: At work training someone! Feeling: Not feeling well today. Ive been experiencing panic attacks daily for the past two weeks. I'm on supplement and meds to help treat them but they're not doing the trick. This is truly wearing me down and I want answers. My husband can tell you that I'm almost never sick so this is not easy for me to be the one needing help. We're going to Cali in a couple of days so hopefully the break will help revive me! I seriously need a hug! ☹️ Thinking: I look sick, tired, and frumpy!
  31. 27 likes
    Doing: Just finished up posting stuff I want to sell on Craigslist. Munching on popcorn and having another cup of coffee. Feeling: Pretty positive (politics aside!). Clearing out old stuff is cathartic! Thinking: Also wondering how I missed this from Thursday- then Moonfeather cleared that up and I checked to see that I, too, received this today (Saturday). But I get behind on emails, so chances are I would have let this sit for 2 days regardless. Also debating whether I want to go to the gym- or blow it off and get some other sorting/organizing done. My guess on how this will end: I will start going through TLE, catching up on posts- I will miss the gym, not get to any sorting... I will look up, see it is 9pm and go get Chinese food ;-)
  32. 26 likes
    Doing: Watching Voyager after eating too much, avoiding all the chores I can't get to during the work week. I'm not up to working full time but I have to do it anyway to pay those bills. And I watched from bed earlier while April the giraffe give birth live! That was cool. Thinking: Don't think about how much I have to do. I hope no new bombs this weekend. How to get my brain to focus on something fun. Feeling: Pain. Pain. Always pain. Embarrassed to mention it because I think everyone gets tired of my invisible medical issues, but it's the overriding thing I can't get away from.
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    Doing: Relaxing by the US Capitol waiting for the Tax March to start. Thinking: Mostly political stuff at the current moment, but mostly enjoying the day and trying not to think about purple unicorns and red dragons. =p Feeling: A bit nervous about the situation with North Korea, otherwise calm and a bit sleepy.
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    MEntity: Hello to you, Nadine. We are here, now. We can begin. Nadine: Hello, Michael. I'd like to ask about a Co-Worker, XXX. He's been at this company for longer than me but moved into a position which requires us to work together a few months ago. I have an affection for and trust in him that is not justified by the amount of time we've spent with each other. We don't even talk that much but he has a very calming effect on me. I even had a few dreams where he cradled me like a baby until I fell asleep or shared some affectionate moments of intimacy with me, without it being sexual in any way. Please give me his Role/Casting, Soul Age/Level and Cadre/Entity. What agreements, monads or any other connections of note are/were there between us? MEntity: The Essence Recognition is valid and meaningful as this is an Entity Mate who shares with you 43 lives of significance and proximity. The sense of affection comes from your history, but also because of this fragment's current Personality. The fragment in question appears to be the 6th Level Old Scholar-cast Server from Cadre 1, Entity 7. Nadine: Oh, that has me in tears. And yes, he is indeed a very sweet person. MEntity: Your Agreements are for Mutual Support, Healing, and Confidence. Although you will likely do well to follow social protocols for the work place, we think it is likely the communication will get rather intimate quickly. Nadine: Yes, we sat down last week to talk a bit and started to talk about how he wanted to change jobs rather quickly. That was very surprising for me, as he is usually a very reserved person and it would seem risky to just open up to a "random" co-worker about wanting to leave the company... MEntity: Yes, we expect this to continue. Nadine: There is no mate agreement, right? MEntity: That is being negotiated at the moment, but we don't expect that to form before having several instances of conversation to establish trust. Nadine: I feel like I've gotten a bit paranoid about mate agreements. I'm afraid I don't know the difference between a "healthy" attraction and me just being attracted to someone with whom I can play out my old unhealthy patterns of co-dependency... MEntity: Often there is no difference. Mate Agreements are not immune to unhealthy attraction and non-Mate Agreements are not immune to healthy attraction. We say this so you know that it is not just your internal obstacles, but a very real world dynamic to navigate on even the best of days. Nadine: Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I'll pass on to the next question then.... MEntity: We think that a way to navigate in healthy ways is to assume that there is no Mate Agreement and that your attraction is about learning more about yourself, not escaping yourself. Nadine: That is helpful. I was thinking something similar about how I should handle these situations... Nadine: For the last couple of weeks I've felt quite overwhelmed, depressed and tired. I don't understand what is going on, everything is fine right now. We finally have a new girl working with us on our team, which took a huge amount of work off of my shoulders, I'm done with my move and I was looking forward to getting back to my work with you. Now I'm so tired and depressed, I have a hard time focusing on anything or getting back to channeling. I'm just too tired. I don't think it's a physical problem, I do feel quite healthy otherwise, so I'd like some insight from you as to why I'm feeling so low recently and what I can do to work myself out of this funk. Is this the Negative Pole of Passion? In my 2017 Preview you mentioned Nutrition as my Health theme – so maybe there's some changes to my food intake I could make that would help me get back to a higher energy level? MEntity: Nadine, what you describe above is what you have been storing for processing during the time when you could not process. It is normal. You are decompressing. When "all is well" the body and psyche finally get to breathe, so to speak, and the rigidity and stress dissolves to free up any stored experiences that had not been processed. Nadine: Oh, okay MEntity: What you can do to help yourself through this is to fully acknowledge that you are honoring the processes that you can now address. This will not alleviate the necessary release of the feelings that do not feel good, but it can help you to not be entangled in them. Nadine: Ok. I guess rest in any form would be helpfull, too? I've been trying to go out and sit in the sunshine and in nature whenever it's possible because that seems to help... MEntity: There are times when one must allow the ugly and uncomfortable come to the surface for processing because illness is the only other alternative, but the difference between this feeling worse than it has to feel and feeling acceptable and honored is the difference between diminishing one's capacity for choice and increasing one's capacity for choice. MEntity: So when you know what is going on, it can help you to remember that you have a choice. Nadine: So it would be best to just accept and honor this time? I'm actually happy I didn't opt for illness but chose to release it in this way then. It's already very helpful to understand WHY I feel like this. It had me a bit worried. MEntity: Instead of being entangled and consumed, you may find that you can, instead, make the choice for a walk, listen to music, call a friend, snuggle up with yourself to a movie. MEntity: If it does not pass by the end of this month, we would suggest considering intervention, but at this point it appears to only be decompression. Nadine: Okay, I've already thought about going to the doctor if it doesn't get any better in the next couple of weeks. Nadine: I have been doing that, I've tried to be as nice as possible to myself. I'll pass on to the next question then. I have a recurrent dream about swimming pools. Most of the times, there are several swimming pools, sometimes outdoors, sometimes indoors, and there are lots of other people swimming, splashing each other with water and having fun in the pools. Most of the time I just sit down in some shallow water, like the children's pool or some fountain and enjoy observing everyone else having fun. On rare occasions, I go for a swim myself. It's never threatening, always fun. Could you interpret those dreams please? MEntity: The swimming pools are the depths of your emotions that require your presence. You have such depth of emotion that they "spill over" into your dreams for tending. Nadine: Hm, so how come most of the time I'm just the "observer" and other people are swimming? MEntity: In waking state you often fear the emotions that come, but in your dreams you remember that they are safe, soothing, and that many parts of you are nourished by them. Those are the many parts of you. Nadine: Oh, yes, that's how it feels like in my dreams! MEntity: If you can carry this observational playfulness into your days as you navigate your pools of emotion, imagining the playful splashing and messiness and okay-ness of being drenched, you can help to balance your days. Nadine: That's some good advice! Thanks! Last question then: I'm a fan of many writers of the Transcendentalist movement, especially Henry Thoreau. The movement seems to be founded on mostly Old Soul-beliefs. Was I involved in this movement in any way or is it just some form of resonance with the ethics of it? MEntity: The movement was a visionary movement aimed at exploring the anchoring of Old Soul ideals, mostly prompted by those in the 6th and 7th Levels of their Mature Soul Age. Though we do not see easy access to historical records of the life, "you" were quite close to the fragment known as Margaret Fuller. MEntity: We think "you" may have contributed to some publications. We will look deeper for references and records that may be accessible to you for validation. Nadine: Oh I thought most of the writers were Old Souls themselves MEntity: Some were Old Souls. Many were final Level Mature. We must conclude here for today. Good day to you, Nadine. Goodbye, for now. Nadine: Thank you Michael. And thank you Troy. Goodbye
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    MMW - April 15, 2017 - Your Crystalline Bodies/Facets Hello to each of you. We are here, now. We can begin. Today's topic has two layers to it and we will likely focus on only one of those layers. One layer is the more applicable and useful layer that brings insight into the dynamic of evolution across incarnations. The other layer is the inner workings, geometry, and multidimensional visualizations that are necessary to understand how this works. We may address some of the latter, but will focus on the more applicable and useful layer. This is similar to saying that we will help you navigate to the light switch, but leave the discussion of the workings of electricity for another day. Every lifetime is microcosmic evolution from Infant to whatever the most-recent Soul Age/Level/Internal Monad was that was successfully completed. This is similar to how the actual body is conceived and grown in the womb, rapidly moving through every evolutionary stage of the Human Body to reach its most current state before birth. There is no lifetime that starts "in the middle" of evolution. Every lifetime "starts from scratch," if you will. There is no shortcut to the evolutionary replay in the womb, but the fluidity of soul and consciousness allows for a shorter and shorter return to one's most-recent position of individual evolution in spirit. When one is born, the only element that is carried over from another life is the Instinctive Center. It could be said that, of course, your Essence is a consistency, but because the Personality must remember to Manifest Essence, the Essence is not considered a consistency that is carried over. There are many lifetimes when Essence is completely rejected for the entire lifetime. But everything is recorded in the Instinctive Center and accessible to Essence at various points in the life and after the life, so nothing is lost. Today we are going to go a bit beyond the general data that is stored in the Instinctive Center that contributes to your themes, patterns, past life resonance, etc. In addition to this unbroken, consistent, persistent storage of experiences across lifetimes in the Instinctive Center is what we will describe as the "Crystalline Body." When one is fragmented in Tao your "spark" or Essence takes on a Role in the universe, a Role in Essence. This Role is your round-trip vehicle, so to speak, from Tao and back to Tao. Your Role in Essence then fragments into incarnations, or Personalities, across Physical lives. Your Astral Body then acts as your persistent vehicle that allows for the return to Essence between every incarnation. This is rarely mentioned, but your first incarnation does not always have any other bodies beyond the Physical and Essence. It is rare, but some first lifetimes do not have Astral Bodies at all. The reason is that they must be grown. There are templates in place in every Plane that "hold a place" for the anticipated evolution of all of your high bodies, but they are not born from your fragmentation. They are born from your evolution. The first formation of your Astral Body comes with your first inner conflict. Your Astral Body is generated from what we refer to as FRICTION. Friction is an inherent nature of the Physical Plane and dichotomy that invites inner and outer conflict regarding choice. In other words, your Astral Body begins to form with your process of that first choice. Depending upon the results of this, a crystallization begins in the Astral Body. That crystallization of the Astral Body forms in polarities in the same way that overleaves have polarities. That polarity of crystallization carries over into every lifetime. This helps explain further how your Essence is not all-knowing across your lifetimes, but is in a process of learning along with you. Your Essence has a higher perspective, but it is learning. It is has access to resources more readily than you may find yourself, but in the same way you are learning the where and how of your resources, so does Essence. Though optional themes are carried in your Instinctive Center that are triggered by choices of the current Personality, the crystalline parts of the Astral Body are your link to a more persistent layer of consciousness that has been growing across all of your lifetimes. It is not dependent upon the choices of the current Personality. And this is how you "wake up" faster and faster in your lifetimes. It is also how you find yourself having "issues" all the way up to your final lifetime. Crystallization of the Astral Body happens in ways that are Negative and in ways that are Positive. Negative Crystallizations are areas where one remains conflicted regarding certain Friction, and Positive Crystallizations are areas where one has resolved the conflicts regarding certain Friction. On a microcosmic scale, or within the parameters of a single lifetime, this is called Self-Karma. Self-Karma is always limited to a single lifetime. However, it is often generated from one's growing embrace of Essence and the Crystalline elements of the Astral Body. Self-Karma can be in place with or without consciousness in a lifetime, but consciousness is required for the Crystalline elements to activate. This is why when someone works very hard to reach a state of seeming enlightenment, or when one works hard with our teaching and puts into application all that is learned, evolving their consciousness in leaps and bounds, Manifesting Essence, suddenly and only then do you realize and face your ancient bullshit. Or realize and face your ancient immortality and bliss. Over many lifetimes the Positive Crystallization spreads to create a very literal form that becomes your Astral Body that is your vehicle to Cycling Off. The Negative Crystallization cannot carry beyond the cycle of incarnations and the cycle of conflicts and friction will continue until one truly resolves that conflict and lets the Friction serve ones evolution. Before we continue, we will check in with quick question: Is this making sense to you and does this expand upon your understanding of your evolutionary process? Uma:definitely! ClaireC: Yes DianeHB: Yes Bobby: You've got me really thinking now because you've shared that we also have a Causal Body so without going into detail about that, would something similar work this way "there" as well? Yes. All of your Bodies evolve out of the work of other Bodies. By the time you are an Old Soul all of your Bodies are active and evolving, creating your path of return Home. The higher bodies evolve just like "you" do. They have 7 stages of evolution relative to the Plane. The difference between the lower and higher planes in terms of evolution of the bodies is that the lower plane bodies evolve the higher plane bodies and as the higher plane bodies evolve from the work of the lower plane bodies, these higher bodies contribute more and more to the evolution of the lower bodies. It is a beautiful and wondrous circuit that evolves. Your higher plane bodies are not locked into "waiting" for you to "get to" the Mental, Messianic, and Buddhic Planes before the start of their 7 stages. All of this is in a beautiful fractal pattern. Janet: The term ‘crystallization’ may be creating a roadblock for me because it makes me think of physical crystallization, and so it makes it hard to see how Negative Crystallization is something that can be changed without shattering. If Positive Crystallization spreads to create the astral body, then is negative crystallization not really ‘crystallized’ but more like areas of the astral body that are still incomplete until the ‘ancient bullshit’ is worked out? In response to Janet: First we will define Crystallization as being a homogenous geometry of facets. When these are Positive, these are clear. When they are Negative, they are not. The Negative must shatter. And they will. Eventually, the Friction will come that shatters these to allow for clarity. The Positive crystallization that is carried into cycling off adds to the structure that is your Entity and further into what is your Cadre, Energy Ring, etc. This Positive Crystallization is vital because it is how you reunite in an Entity. It is a return to form that pieces together in ways that reveal the greater truths of existence. This Crystallization is not solid, but is a form, an infrastructure. You do not reunite just because your numbers match. You reunite because you return to a wholeness. When one carries Negative Crystallization into a lifetime and then activates it, the Friction begins that challenges that Crystallization. It is relentless. When we speak to you about your Negative Crystallization, the examples will help. Janet: Aha. Thank you. Uma: So, can you say that every choice contributes to either resolving friction or perpetuating friction, and as those frictions are resolved we move more and more into the Positive Crystallization and this feeds back into those choices? In response to Uma: Friction will exist with or without Crystallization. It is the nature of the Physical Plane and dichotomy. What happens over lifetimes is that as you resolve the conflicts related to various Friction, you generate these Positive Crystallizations that nullify the Friction as an issue. Think of it this way: Weather will always be a part of the Physical Plane. Imagine that it sometimes rains, sometimes even thunderstorms. A person is caught in the rain and "freaks out." The rain is merely a part of the dance of being Physical, but this person takes it personally and now when it rains he has decided that God, the gods, the universe, bad luck, etc. are just out to make his life miserable. Now, when it rains, he responds as if he has been assaulted. He leaves himself there. That is his resolution. It is a Negative Crystallization. Now, imagine he carries this into the next lifetime. He is awake enough to connect to this Crystallization and it rains again. He is inexplicably convinced of his bad luck and suffering at the hands of the universe or gods. He plants his crops and then there is a drought. Suddenly he is faced with further Friction that now questions whether Rain is a personal insult or is just something that is necessary for life. It rains and his crops are saved. His Crystallization that had concluded that rain was a personal insult is now shattered. He must address this. Eventually, he learns to work with rain and how to walk in it with an umbrella if he chooses not to be wet, and to be more playful if he ever gets caught in the rain, and so on. The rain will continue to come, but his Crystallization is now Positive and nullifies the Friction. This is a highly simplistic example, but will do. In more direct response to your question: yes. Uma: lol Are there further questions? Maureen: Michael, so, Positive Crystallization is the resolution of paradoxes, or seeming paradoxes, until we reach a perspective that can include the whole picture or the wholeness of (our) experience? Maureen: or experience(s)*. Uma: are you kidding? I have enough questions for Eternity! In response to Maureen: They are often paradoxes, but not always. Rain is not a paradox, there is nothing confusing about it or complex, but our example is pulled from "real life" because early lifetimes start with Friction relative to the new world of the Physical Plane and its wonders and horrors. It took you 3 lifetimes to work through your issues with the Wind. Maureen: LOL! I'm not surprised and now it's a True Rest. ClaireC: Everything is crystal clear to me. ;-) Maureen: :) Johanne: I think I get the idea although not all that crystal clear :) Uma: I was having 'flashes' of the fractals and 'the beautiful circuits that evolve'. And all from FRICTION, that annoying sensation! **** WORKSHOP/FEEDBACK **** Though you will have many layers of Friction in your life and have your Self-Karma and your Karma and simple preferences and dislikes, we ask you now if you can name a Negative Crystallization that you see as an obvious pattern of challenge that relentlessly asks of you to shatter it. We will help to clarify these, but your words are important as a launching point. Uma: Entitlement springs to mind Johanne: no, I cannot name a negative crystallization or see an obvious pattern of challenge Uma: not getting what I was promised Bobby: Justification for being is coming to mind first... subject to change though Uma: and feeling cheated Janet: We were speaking in the chat room about a dream you interpreted for me in a private session, and looking at that session now, I wonder if I have crystallization around the subject of freedom. ClaireC: I was just thinking last night about how "high-strung" I am, and whether that is physical or emotional and how to change it. Would this be a Negative Crystallization? Maureen: I think one of my last pieces, that I can see, is the conflict with rest or true rest for me and how to rest “properly”. It’s interesting (to me) that you said:” It took you 3 lifetimes to work through your issues with the Wind.” Does Diane have a response? DianeHB: I don't have anything obvious come to mind. Tex says his is hoarding. DianeHB: Actually I can think of something now - my preoccupation with where I'm going/the future might be a negative crystalization. We will comment/respond now to each of you. UMA: your assessment is valid, but we will describe it as FAIRNESS. It has Crystallized into issues that show in terms of entitlement, earning, deserving, etc, but it is all about Fairness. Unfairness is a part of life, like rain. It is not out to get you or harm you, but it does happen and it does hurt. Just like rain can wash away a town. Unfairness happens. It is the underpinning of Karma and Justice. Uma: I had that thought also, that FAIRNESS is a big one for me. It always has been, since earliest childhood memories. I can see it. Uma: And one of my pet sayings is: Life may be unfair, but people don't have to be. To shatter this Negative Crystallization you will have to embrace UNFAIRNESS as something that is not directed at you, but is a natural invitation to creativity, to strength, to truth, to networking and nurturing, and using your known resources rather than ignoring them and waiting for better ones. Uma: Thank you! JOHANNE: you described your Negative Crystallization in your own words. We will describe yours as related to THE UNKNOWN. You are sponge for knowledge and you transform your knowledge into wisdom, but part of that motivation for knowing comes from the sense that knowing somehow protects you from the Unknown, and when you find you are in an acceptable place of knowing, you no longer look. To shatter this Negative Crystallization you must keep looking. You must embrace the Unknown as not something to conquer or protect oneself against, but as an invitation for curiosity and playful discovery. NOTE: it should be presumed that if we are describing your Negative Crystallization it is one that you are well into working on and shattering. If you do not relate to or recognize what we see, then you have either shattered it, or we are wrong. BOBBY: your assessment is valid. We will describe it as a Negative Crystallization around PROOF OF LIFE. It is not just about justifying your existence, but proving that you exist. A Negative Crystallization formed that concludes one make a difference that forgives the mistakes of one's existence. To shatter this Negative Crystallization, you would have to destroy the notion that you must be forgiven. You will not and never will be forgiven. And by "forgiven" we do not mean that someone eventually tells you this, but that your joy, your peace, your evolution is fueled by choice and creativity and curiosity rather than "making up" for something. When we say you will never be forgiven, we mean that nothing will ever be enough to address any Friction around "mistakes." Mistakes happen. They must be dealt with and you must learn from them, but they cannot remain an anchor to define the life. You do not prove anything. To anyone. Ever. JANET: your Negative Crystallization is directly related to your assessment. We will describe it as RESPONSIBILITY. Freedom is one of the most terrifying territories for one who navigates life by comforts and standards of Responsibility. Your Crystallization has deemed Responsibility as a priority factor for defining the self and for judging others. Irresponsibility is nearly evil. You will have to shatter your notions and standards of Responsibility as you move further into Freedom because Responsibilities are not only about obligations and skills, but about the capacity to respond. The safety and familiarity of standards, obligations, and skillsets will remain, but to go into the territories you seek to explore as a soul, you are expanding your understanding and compassion for what it means to be Responsible. CLAIRE: you are onto something with your assessment. We will describe your Negative Crystallization as being related to RIGIDITY. You have crystalized this notion that existence is acceptable and even safer if you simply stay within familiar parameters and people. This lifetime has shattered this. You have actively embraced that Rigidity cannot serve you any longer and you have seen the devastating effects of it and you have seen the subtle effects of it in your mental and emotional walls that have been being dismantled over the past year. The "high strung" element comes from your dance with issues of Control, either being in control or having someone be in control. And now you are not. Nothing is in control. You have surrendered. You are learning what it means to lose rigidity as a form of stability. And now you build a new world of truth and honesty and love that is the start of a new Positive Crystallization. It may not always feel like it, or look like it, but it is happening. DIANE: your assessment is valid, as well. Somewhere along the way of your incarnations it was Crystallized that safety only exists in the future and that the present is something to endure. This comes from a series of lives where imprisonment was explored. The only hope was "in the future." We will describe your Negative Crystallization as being related to THE FUTURE. DianeHB: That makes me cry This is your first lifetime looking at this so closely and you have shattered it. You have found, created, and nurtured your Present in such a way that you have never known Love so intimately and honestly. The Future a ribbon on the gift of the Present. DianeHB: I still feel like I tend to focus on the future, but not at the expense of the present. Maybe it's just a habit now. MAUREEN: your assessment is directly related to your Negative Crystallization, which we will describe as VIGILANCE. This is a Crystallization that demands and expects that you are the only one in the room with the wisdom and perspective to help save the day, because at one time, and many times, that was true. To shatter this Crystallization you are learning to trust the growing pains of evolution. You are able to hold the horrors and suffering of existence in the same hand as the beauty and innocence. Maureen: This is making me cry. You are learning to allow your fiery inspiration without it burning you out. You are learning that innocence and beauty are not mutually-exclusive from stupidity and idiots. Maureen: LOL Bobby: lol DianeHB: lol You are allowing yourself to stay on watch, but learning to know when, how, and why to make your moves. Not just learning to choose your battles, but choosing your battlecries. ************** All of the above are OUR assessment of a Negative Crystallization that has been with you for some time across lives and that you are addressing in the current life, most likely already having shattered it, and working to Crystallize in the Positive. You may not agree and you may find your priorities focused in ways we did not describe, and we are always willing to be wrong. This is a starting point for considering this new realm of understanding of your lives, your soul, your bodies, and the meaningful work you do on your evolution even when you do not realize it. We will conclude here for today. Good day to each of you. Goodbye, for now.
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    Doing: listening to music, about to practice some yoga to ground myself. Feeling: Unsettled, anxious, and unsafe (hence, need to do some work with my ROOT chakra right now...). Experiencing something similar to what Royce said about feeling unworthy to be here unless one is making a huge difference in the world, except what I am feeling is being unworthy for not being a "productive" member of society while searching for a source of income. Feeling dependent on everyone but myself, and it is driving me hopeless at times (re-reading posts about how the Kings need of Independence can be satisfied even while being financially dependent on others if one allows TRUST into the picture as a means of experiencing freedom). Feeling impatient. Having a hard time trusting the universe right now and surrendering, and continually finding myself struggling to feel some sense of CONTROL (I know, biggest illusion of all, and that it is part of my lesson with FLOW being my life goal...); perhaps struggling with my negative pole of Tyranny- but over the Self. Thinking: I can either spend the next half an hour searching for jobs online to make myself feel like I am DOING something "useful", or I can try to raise my level of vibration by connecting with my Higher Self on my yoga mat, thereby changing my vibration so as to emit positive, loving vibes of abundance out into the universe...
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    I love seeing all you beauties here and what you share. Thank you :-) I took this picture two nights ago 4am in the morning after reading all the posts here so far at that time, but I was too tired to upload and share, so I'll just do that now. I had been awake since 7am the previous morning. I look the same today anyway. Doing: Soon off to bed here. I usually don't do so much late in the nights, but reading at the computer is fine, and cleaning up my daily mess before I go to bed. When I took that picture I was listening to Natasha Atlas singing "Bahlam" Feeling: I feel good, centered and relaxed. How can I not after meditating (earlier this evening) :-) Thinking: About tomorrow which will be busy going to a meeting first, then later assist a friend with practical stuff at her introductionworkshop on body, feelings, intimacy and sexuality (tantra and more). I should have been in bed 3 hours ago. I have no idea what to wear tomorrow, my wardrobe is full of ordinary boring clothes. I have nice colors, but color is not everything. Thinking I need an upgrade in some way. Seriously! Anyway for tomorrow I just have to find my way with it.
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    Doing: Chilling outside in the cool evening after arriving and spending the day with my sister's family. Feeling: Relatively peaceful despite the bouts of specific anxiety recently. Also a bit sleepy. Playing with nieces takes it out of ya. Thinking: If I can keep the anxiety at bay, life for me is actually pretty good right now. Also realizing I kind of look high in the picture (which, come to think of it, happens in a lot of my pictures).
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    I like making dumb faces at work while on break. What am I thinking? Mostly on how much I want to go home. Only 2 hours left! But my job leaves me a lot of time to think and today I started asking myself what keeps me going in life? What gives me this drive to keep going even if things are rather bland and mundane most of the time. And then that led to the realization that if I were to ever tell the story of my life to someone who ever gave enough of a shit to listen then I would not at all be satisfied with that story. My life is basically my life and I'm trying to find a way to fall in love with it so every day isn't just existing but rather living, in the full sense of the word. Not to say I don't like parts of it, the relationships I've made, the little quirks that come up here and there that have become memorable, I'm not not in love with it. So I wonder what I need to do in order to live that life that I love. I have an idea, something along the things of being something you think the world is lacking. Seems a start. How im feeling? Oddly giddy after that realization. I would've thought it would be quite depressing to admit such a thing but it feels good. It feels good to admit what I need, where I'm at, and what I want. Makes me feel more me when I can admit that kind of truth to myself. So, optimistic, curious, and wonder at what I'd like to do. Love all your faces 😁😁😁
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    TROY'S DIAGNOSIS Well... the results are in. Based on my screening, I am, indeed, Diabetic. Using their scale, if 4 is healthy, and 6 is pre-diabetic, my results were 10.1. This translates in glucose numbers to mean that my average reading would be around 275, and things get really bad, even life-threatening, at 300. So this is a huge wake up call. This diagnosis explains so much of why I have been losing more and more of my foothold on my schedule, focus, energy. The headaches, dizziness, fatigue, forgetfulness, fogginess, ocular migraines, and other serious distractions from my work weren't just my imagination or subconscious excuses or procrastination. Who knows how many times I was near fatal numbers?! That's scary. So, now I know. And I can do something to fix this. I will be meeting with my drx soon for a full consultation. She's excellent and will not be pushing me to take medications. She is very pro-diet and exercise as control and reversal of Diabetes. Meanwhile, the "good" news is that I already have a huge advantage being vegan. When I found out I may be diabetic, I looked at my diet and lifestyle and the two major factors that needed to be changed were my intake of Coke and my need to move more. So even before the diagnosis I cut out soda, and I had already started going to the gym. At my screening I was told that I had already lost over 15 pounds since my last weigh-in and that was in fewer than 30 days. It is amazing how deadly a sugary and sedentary life can be even when you think you are doing everything else right. Now that I know for sure I am diabetic, I will be even more mindful in cutting out the deadly and increasing the healthy. I've been educating myself about creating HCLF meals (High *Complex* Carbs, Low Fat) because carbs have even less to do with diabetes than fat does. So I'm cutting out all oils, and increasing my daily fruit, root vegetable, legume, and whole grain intake. These additional changes are good for anyone, but now that it's a matter of life and death, I'm taking it very seriously. I've been taking my Vitamin D3 and B12, as well! So... if you have lost count, I now carry two life-threatening diagnoses around with me. I guess when you sign up for work that takes you beyond this plane of existence every day, you get to live with one foot in the grave at all times... a foot in the living and and a foot with the dead at all times. It's one of the job hazards you never hear about in channeling! The AC1 test (diabetes screening) is a look at your blood glucose average over the past 3 months, so when I get tested again it will include the months I've made these greater changes and we'll see how much things have improved. Thank you to everyone who has treated me so kindly and patiently on my path to knowing what has been contributing to my derailing so often. This has been affecting me for years with increasingly distracting symptoms and I had no idea. And yes, I already have deficits in the areas of business, time, and energy management, so this illness was not doing any of us any favors. Wish me luck. I'll keep you in the loop. Your Sweetie, Troy PS - I'm going to include for my future reference the two Q&A I could find from Michael on Diabetes. If you have more, or find more, please feel free to add. MICHAEL ON... DIABETES QUESTION: The focus of my studies have turned towards the etiology of obesity and Type 2 diabetes. What is the greatest misconception that Western medicine has in regards to the cause(s) of and in addressing these two conditions. Of particular interest is insight regarding mothers and infants (while in the womb and shortly after birth), as a project I am working with focuses on this window of time. FROM MICHAEL: What “Western Medicine” has as a misconception in regard to “obesity” and Diabetes is the same misconception that underlies a great deal of Allopathic thought: that every valid physical symptom or syndrome has a physical cause, and that chronic issues can be solved through allopathic remedies alone. Allopathic medicine is a complement to homeopathic medicine, which is a far more relevant approach to such chronic issues as diabetes and obesity. We would first suggest complementing your “Western” education with research done in the realm of homeopathy for these issues. The combination of allopathic and homeopathic is always much healthier as an approach to healing, particularly in terms of chronic issues. Beyond that, we would suggest that obesity and diabetes are rooted in issues related to the overload of responsibility on the body versus value gained in the life. When a Personality (i.e. Body) is overwhelmed with responsibilities that drain the life of value, then starvation or addiction occurs. This is why there is no consistency to the growing data regarding these syndromes. Value has to be returned to the life, whether this is done in psychological and then physical ways, or in physical and then psychological ways; the path does not matter. If your studies are moving in strictly Allopathic directions, we would suggest that it be precluded that a cure will not be found in that path, alone. Only management of symptoms will be found through allopathic means. That there is a chance of a cure or true healing for anything other than trauma and emergency treatments using strict, allopathic methods is one of the greatest misconceptions “Western Medicine” has. To effect beneficial change, with an aim for prevention or true healing in a Mother/Child (or anyone) in terms of obesity and diabetes, management of symptoms is valuable, and can help move the Personalities into a greater sense of value for the life and the self, allowing room for support from outside of “Western medicines.” ****** [Excerpt from TT: 2016-02-07 Ask Michael Session] Question: Hi Michael. My question is about type 2 diabetes. I'm going to assume the metaphysical cause has to do with either anger or fear...but I'd like some insight into what would be a physical and/or metaphysical cure. whatever insight you can offer in the time alloted would be great. Michael: There is some validity to your assessment that anger and fear can be involved, but it is more about the process by which one avoids intensity that can contribute to the condition. Whether it is feeling lonely, angry, frustrated, conflicted, challenged, fearful, unloved, etc. diabetes in its various stages usually reflects how the person processes those experiences. In most cases there is an effort to glaze over them, to mask them, to make them more acceptable and presentable, and especially if they are obstacles to attention or affection or approval. At the heart of diabetes is a need to sustain a false bridge over the depths of one's feelings so as to accommodate the need for attention or affection. By "attention" we mean any acknowledgment in any form, and this includes the negative. Diabetes is reversible in most cases, but does require a strict management of conscious choice, action, and diet. For most, it is "easier" to manage the masking of pain in medicinal ways than in rewiring the psyche. We can explore this in further exchanges, but this is a brief synopsis. *****
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    Doing: watching netflix. It's daylight so my energy is lower. Feeling: nothing Thinking: wondering why i see so many pics here from Thursday when i only got the email today (Saturday). Missing my TLE family and thinking I need to renew connections and make new ones
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    Doing: not much. television is on teen titans go but mostly listening to it, I enjoy its silly and often senseless humor. lounging Feeling: like a million bucks. jk. but its like im finally starting to waking up from a long sleep. Time to rewire old programmings and get ready for a new life. A sense of clarity and inspiration yet apathy and dread as coming changes brings anxiety/withdrawal Thinking: consciously choose to have fun, be lighter and happier. observe behavior, actions and reactions. "the work" can be tough but how can you brain it out instead of fight? Being present in body and the moment, being friends with all of my selves and facets to work better in harmony. s l o w. d o w n. also all the beautiful expressions as humans we are, through our pain and struggles, tireless in resolve to make better ourselves and our world at large. oftentimes we forget to credit ourselves and each other as we should o yea
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    I got my Profile back from Troy. I've updated my info on here to match. My reactions: Role: Scholar No surprise there; it was one of the things I was surest about. Casting: Warrior This IS a surprise. I guess it shouldn't be, though; I always figured I had some Warrior influence somewhere, given my keen interest in martial topics, but I thought it would be bleedthrough from an ET or Task Companion, something of that nature. Cadre/Entity: 2/6 I have no idea what this means. Guess I have a good reason to find out now! E-Ratio: 55M/45F Unsurprising that they're so close together. I've never felt particularly one or the other. Frequency: 58 Didn't see that coming! With what a lazy bastard I am, I figured my Frequency must be pretty low. But I guess that's not quite how it works, is it? ;) Soul Age/Level: Old/4 Hey, I'm one level older than I thought I was! Still, though, this was one I pretty much expected. Manifested Age: Mature to Old Yep. I've found myself manifesting Mature more often lately. I think getting more involved in politics has forced me to work from that mindset until I figure out how to be directly involved AND maintain an Old Soul perspective. Kind of a tough balancing act. Lifetime #: 228 Huh, you don't say! I wonder who I was before... Grand Cycle #: 10 Huh, you don't say! I wonder WHAT I was before... ESSENCE TWIN Role: Sage Okay, I can see that. Cadre/Entity: 2/2 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Status: Male ...oh. Huh. Well. I know the Essence Twin relationship certainly doesn't HAVE to be romantic, but I, uh, couldn't help but assume. Suppose that's why I haven't dated much. I had defined my goal in romance as "find and be with my Essence Twin," but my orientation made that impossible from the outset. Well, I guess that just leaves the question of who it is... TASK COMPANIONS Role/Gender: Priest/guide Ooh, a guide! Do they have a name? Can I name them? I'm calling them Harvey until I find out otherwise. Role/Gender: Artisan/female Well that could be anyone! I've got female friends out the wazoo. PERSONALITY DYNAMICS Goal: Flow > Growth/Acceptance Flow, I knew from the start. Didn't consciously realize there was any sliding going on, though. Mode: Observation > Passion/Reserve See above. Attitude: Idealist Yuuuup. Center/Part: Intellectual/Moving Yep, thought translating into action. I didn't predict it, but it makes sense in retrospect. Body Types: Mercurial/Saturnine/Martial Yep, those are some planets alright! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Chief Features: Mild Arrogance, Mild Self-Deprecation Two, huh? Well, at least they're both mild. So yeah, that's it! I'm hungry for more detail, though; maybe it's about time I speak with Michael directly.
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    Doing: Holding my sixteen and eight months old girlcat on my lap, who I am going to have to put down today. Feeling: Sad beyond measure, to the point where I'm wondering if there isn't some larger grief bundled within this one. Love for my poor sweet darling who has taken such a sharp decline this last week. Thinking: How much it sucks that the vet expressed surprise that I'd had her for sixteen years and was the only home she'd known after being adopted, and how that shouldn't be the case, it should be the norm. No pic of me, I don't feel up to it. Here's one of her, from happier , healthier days.
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    Doing: Waiting for my hair to dry from my shower so I can go out and buy lunch/supplies. Feeling: Freshly showered, relaxed, kinda lazy. Thinking: Planning out what I want to do while I'm in Japan for the next two weeks or so, wondering why one of my friends who lives here hasn't responded to my attempts to get in touch.
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    First thought: kinda an ugly photo... but that's the way it is! I'm thinking about the beauty of nature around me this Spring. Daffodils, tulips and lilac are all open. The fragrance that meets you coming out of the front door is intoxicating. Spring is my favorite season and I wish it would last longer. I'm also thinking about the tremendous changes going on around us. It feels like there is a building momentum of this new consciousness. It brings to mind a quote I've remembered from Teilhard de Chardin: " Everything that rises will converge". Despite the fears and the gaspings, we are on a continuum toward greater perfection. Yea I'm a spiritualist and a server. I stand expectant as we make this transition. And the last thing on my mind: it was a great idea to retire and I must be somewhere in the 5 internal monad. Wish me luck!
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    Late to the game. Was walking on the moon😉
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    This is the face of someone who has just reunited with a dear friend after 15 years. I am exhausted, but happy. Which seems to be my general mood this year. I have way too many emotions and thoughts to process concerning this event to describe exactly what I am feeling and thinking at the moment. As for what I'm doing, I'm heading off to bed. Goodnight! EDIT: I love all of your photos, by the way, and I look forward to reading the full posts tomorrow. And please excuse the complete mess on my dresser, ha!
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    I have been living in this particular body for 54 years, four months and nine days. Despite the fact that I have maintained generally good health and fitness, it has been an almost perpetually uncomfortable experience. Perhaps it is because of my frequency (89) and acute sensitivity. I had a nearly photographic and audiographic memory in my youth. This can be maddening without regular off-loading (I was drawing, mimicking, singing and yammering constantly into my early '40s) or habitual numbing. I am grateful that I do not have a predilection for opiates. Grappling with Ethyl's grip has been enough of a challenge. My senses are perpetually craving gratification and beauty - visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile and gustatory. I am never truly relaxed or at peace. There is always something I am craving and yearning for. No wonder my first passionate pursuit for spiritual knowledge and wisdom began when I studied Buddhism my freshman year in college (1980, Syracuse University). Overcoming desire and attachment, duality...attaining enlightenment was my central goal throughout my twenties, ironically when I had a young, beautiful, energetic physical body. So yes, I anticipate blissful release from this flesh motel, but I value the opportunity to make the most of the remainder of this sojourn. It still feels like my Essence is expressing itself like water from a fire hose through a drinking straw.