Troy

April 2017 Community Challenge: ME, RIGHT NOW

89 posts in this topic

Decided I would post one..ha. 

 

Doing: Spending a bit too much time taking pictures from various angles.

 

Thinking: 'This doesn't make me a narcissistic person, does it? Probably not, I don't usually take selfies. Although, my preoccupation with finding the most flattering angle might be a cause for concern.'

 

Feeling: Physically, slightly overheated. Emotionally, considerably more grateful than usual.

 

IMG_0275 (Edited).JPG

 

 

 

 

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27 minutes ago, RachelL said:

Spending a bit too much time taking pictures from various angles.

 

Well spent time. Love your angle 😊 

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Doing: Playing puzzle with my 6-years daughter on the floor of our new home.

Feeling: tired, even exhausted, happy and sad in same time.

Thinking: I feel everything but pretty, but so what. 

14924291226382007929780.jpg

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First thought: kinda an ugly photo... but that's the way it is!     I'm thinking about the beauty of nature around me this Spring.   Daffodils, tulips and lilac are all open.  The fragrance that meets you coming out of the front door is intoxicating.   Spring is my favorite season and I wish it would last longer.    I'm also thinking about the tremendous changes going on around us.   It feels like there is a building momentum of this new consciousness.   It brings to mind a quote I've remembered from Teilhard de Chardin: " Everything that rises will converge".    Despite the fears and the gaspings, we are on a continuum toward greater perfection.   Yea  I'm a spiritualist and a server.   I stand expectant as we make this transition.   And the last thing on my mind:   it was a great idea to retire and I must be somewhere in the 5 internal monad.  Wish me luck!

Self Portrait.JPG

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On 4/16/2017 at 0:47 PM, SunSand said:

Haha, we are currently saving money for a vacation this coming May and also waiting for some patch updates to fix the strange facial expressions we have seen in Mass Effect: Andromeda. Are you playing it right now, Troy?

 

 

I already finished one playthrough! I loved it. Very much like Mass Effect 1. The facial animation issues were minor, and a quick patch they sent out totally fixed some weird eyes. All the hate-hype around this game is unwarranted and ridiculous and armchair outrage from people who either already hate Bioware, or are bigots and hate that Bioware is so pro-inclusive, or they never even played the game. I'll say it did not beat out the original trilogy as a favorite (yet) but it was a very satisfying and exciting journey, especially with a lot of the conversations about reincarnation and memory and fractured identities. Very Michael-esque.

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THE BEAUTY HERE

I don't know if it is intentional or if it is the product of such honesty in the images being shared here, but these candid moments with all of you are really touching my heart. The beauty in each of these is something I didn't expect to see, mostly because we rarely post images of ourselves here. I expected very few to participate or to really ham it up in the pix, but these are really honest and that is so moving to me. Thank you all for doing this and let's hope even more members join in!

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Posted (edited)

I love seeing all you beauties here and what you share. Thank you :-)

I took this picture two nights ago 4am in the morning after reading all the posts here so far at that time, but I was too tired to upload and share, so I'll just do that now. I had been awake since 7am the previous morning. I look the same today anyway.

 

Doing:  Soon off to bed here. I usually don't do so much late in the nights, but reading at the computer is fine, and cleaning up my daily mess before I go to bed. When I took that picture I was listening to Natasha Atlas singing "Bahlam"

 

Feeling:  I feel good, centered and relaxed. How can I not after meditating (earlier this evening) :-)

 

Thinking: About tomorrow which will be busy going to a meeting first, then later assist a friend with practical stuff at her introductionworkshop on body, feelings, intimacy and sexuality (tantra and more). I should have been in bed 3 hours ago. I have no idea what to wear tomorrow, my wardrobe is full of ordinary boring clothes. I have nice colors, but color is not everything. Thinking I need an upgrade in some way. Seriously! Anyway for tomorrow I just have to find my way with it.

20170416_033520.jpg

Edited by Ingun
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Doing: Waiting for my hair to dry from my shower so I can go out and buy lunch/supplies.

Feeling: Freshly showered, relaxed, kinda lazy.

Thinking: Planning out what I want to do while I'm in Japan for the next two weeks or so, wondering why one of my friends who lives here hasn't responded to my attempts to get in touch.

 

 

 

WIN_20170418_11_31_35_Pro (2).jpg

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Posted (edited)

Doing: listening to music, about to practice some yoga to ground myself. 

Feeling: Unsettled, anxious, and unsafe (hence, need to do some work with my ROOT chakra right now...). Experiencing something similar to what Royce said about feeling unworthy to be here unless one is making a huge difference in the world, except what I am feeling is being unworthy for not being a "productive" member of society while searching for a source of income. Feeling dependent on everyone but myself, and it is driving me hopeless at times (re-reading posts about how the Kings need of Independence can be satisfied even while being financially dependent on others if one allows TRUST into the picture as a means of experiencing freedom). Feeling impatient. Having a hard time trusting the universe right now and surrendering, and continually finding myself struggling to feel some sense of CONTROL (I know, biggest illusion of all, and that it is part of my lesson with FLOW being my life goal...); perhaps struggling with my negative pole of Tyranny- but over the Self. 

Thinking: I can either spend the next half an hour searching for jobs online to make myself feel like I am DOING something "useful", or I can try to raise my level of vibration by connecting with my Higher Self on my yoga mat, thereby changing my vibration so as to emit positive, loving vibes of abundance out into the universe...

Photo on 4-18-17 at 1.05 PM (1).jpg

Edited by Giedre Kotryna
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25 minutes ago, Giedre Kotryna said:

Doing: listening to music, about to practice some yoga to ground myself. 

Feeling: Unsettled, anxious, and unsafe (hence, need to do some work with my ROOT chakra right now...). Experiencing something similar to what Royce said about feeling unworthy to be here unless one is making a huge difference in the world, except what I am feeling is being unworthy for not being a "productive" member of society while searching for a source of income. Feeling dependent on everyone but myself, and it is driving me hopeless at times (re-reading posts about how the Kings need of Independence can be satisfied even while being financially dependent on others if one allows TRUST into the picture as a means of experiencing freedom). Feeling impatient. Having a hard time trusting the universe right now and surrendering, and continually finding myself struggling to feel some sense of CONTROL (I know, biggest illusion of all, and that it is part of my lesson with FLOW being my life goal...); perhaps struggling with my negative pole of Tyranny- but over the Self. 

Thinking: I can either spend the next half an hour searching for jobs online to make myself feel like I am DOING something "useful", or I can try to raise my level of vibration by connecting with my Higher Self on my yoga mat, thereby changing my vibration so as to emit positive, loving vibes of abundance out into the universe...

 

 

@Giedre Kotryna  Did you see Michael's response to me in the recent MMW?

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I read this on Saturday and took the pic then but got sidetracked with packing and working.

 

DOING: Sitting on the couch with my laptop, procrastinating. Checking TLE so I don't have to start working just yet. My family and friends went for a drive in Hiiumaa, I had to stay in the rental cabin to finish work with a Monday deadline that I couldn't do on Thursday because we were all coughing and packing for the trip and got zero help from my mom (as usual).

 

FEELING: Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Glad I can be alone for a while. Enjoying all the light from the big windows and the quiet view. Sad I have to work while others drive around and look at so much nature. Miss the friends as I have this "manly" quiet caring thing with one. Sad we leave the next day. Happy I am in Hiiumaa in an empty house with just our stuff instead of the temporary stay at my mom's with our stuff crammed in among her stuff... Not happy with my haircut, waiting for warmer weather to go boyish short again. Amused at seeing how little of what I feel my face expresses.

 

THINKING: Should I start with the translation project that is in Italian English or the one in Polish English? Wondering about my marriage and those of our friends. Looking at everyone's challenge entries and thinking how simply beautiful we all are in ourselves.

IMG_20170415.jpg

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@Bobby, thank you for sharing- just finished reading it. I resonate with your Negative Crystalization or what you called "justification for being"...I resonate to a certain degree with many of the negative crystalizations, such as Respoinsibility and Fairness, as we do all I would think. Although I am not sure I fully comprehend how to go about shattering this particular crystallization- of recognizing that I shall not be forgiven and don't need to be forgiven...

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PS. I wanted to share with everyone my sudden realization of why this thread is so deeply touching...I just recently finished watching a beautiful TV series called "Sense8" about our interconnectedness and soul families, and this community challenge makes me feel just like that...that we are all scattered across the world, living in our own routines or overcoming our individual daily challenges- earthly or otherwise- and it is so comforting to get a glimpse into each others' lives as HUMANS rather than as distant members of a spiritual community...<3

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  Doing: Holding my sixteen and eight months old girlcat on my lap, who I am going to have to put down today. 
 Feeling: Sad beyond measure, to the point where I'm wondering if there isn't some larger grief bundled within this one. Love for my poor sweet darling who has taken such a sharp decline this last week.
Thinking: How much it sucks that the vet expressed surprise that I'd had her for sixteen years and was the only home she'd known after being adopted, and how that shouldn't be the case, it should be the norm. 
No pic of me, I don't feel up to it. Here's one of her, from happier , healthier days.
 

Screenshot from 2017-04-18 09-19-18.png

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@Juni

I am sorry that you have to say goodbye to your pet.  I went through it with an eleven-year old Bichon named Toby.  

It was a very sad and difficult time.  Life is bittersweet but it is wonderful that we can feel so much love.  

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@Juni sorry about your cat. The hardest thing ive ever done was put my dog down. Its so sad, im sorry. 

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oh, Juni. It is the hardest thing to do, what you are doing today. If it were any different you would be embracing that option, but that is not the situation. I am standing beside you as you and your girl move throughout the day in your girls final moments. I am here for you with any hugs you might want. You have given so much love and that doesn't stop.

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8 hours ago, AnnaD said:

oh, Juni. It is the hardest thing to do, what you are doing today. If it were any different you would be embracing that option, but that is not the situation. I am standing beside you as you and your girl move throughout the day in your girls final moments. I am here for you with any hugs you might want. You have given so much love and that doesn't stop.

Thank you. This was so hard. It took longer than expected and I miss her so much. I hope she knows she was loved.

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9 hours ago, Diane said:

@Juni

I am sorry that you have to say goodbye to your pet.  I went through it with an eleven-year old Bichon named Toby.  

It was a very sad and difficult time.  Life is bittersweet but it is wonderful that we can feel so much love.  

Thank you. She's left such a void. My other two cats are lovely but she was special.

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@Juni I'm so so sorry for your loss. They are no different from our human family and no easier to let go.

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Posted (edited)

I hope more people will keep posting their pictures, they have been such a joy to look through. People's beauty really does come through in these candid ones, much more than in the more polished profile pictures and such, and everyone who's been putting themselves down in their comments, i have honestly thought, looking at the picture, "Whaat, not at all!! What are you on??" And i am not a flattery-loveydovey-smalltalk kinda person at all, i'm a Finn in Discrimination ;D So you better believe me, you're awesome when you just are. (Or else!)

 

@SunSand Haha, I laughed at this: "I decided rather to think about something happier. I am going to read up on taxes"

Oh yeah and @MichaelS, loved you photos 😁 

Edited by Miizle
Addition
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Juni, I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. I am a cat person, and my cats are my kids, and the loss of each one leaves a void. Yours was a magnificent floof! I love black cats!

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@Juni: Losing a pet is so painful, like a hole is ripped in your heart. After I went through it, I swore I'd never have another pet. It seemed like one of the 'mistakes' about life that our pets don't live as long as we do. It took a long time to get over, and it still hurts when I remember Rudolph, an amazing Golden Retriever. Very few deaths, even of people I love, have been so rough to process. My loving thoughts are with you.

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It's one of the most difficult decisions and I add my condolences.   After giving them a wonderful life, this is our last gift.   I cry every time I have to do this but I remember some thing Michael said:  pets stay longer than they should because they are caring for their owners and don't want to cause them grief.  I send you peace and support  that you may heal soon from this loss.

 

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21 hours ago, Juni said:

  Doing: Holding my sixteen and eight months old girlcat on my lap, who I am going to have to put down today. 
 Feeling: Sad beyond measure, to the point where I'm wondering if there isn't some larger grief bundled within this one. Love for my poor sweet darling who has taken such a sharp decline this last week.
Thinking: How much it sucks that the vet expressed surprise that I'd had her for sixteen years and was the only home she'd known after being adopted, and how that shouldn't be the case, it should be the norm. 
No pic of me, I don't feel up to it. Here's one of her, from happier , healthier days.
 

Screenshot from 2017-04-18 09-19-18.png

So sorry Juni. 😢

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