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Energy Report: JUNE 2017

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Leela Corman

You guys, am I the only one for whom the reaction symbols below each post are suddenly showing up as gigantic?

 

I feel a sense of chaos, certainly. Every day, in the news cycle, in current events, in politics, it's terrible. Here in the US, the recent "reveal" of the GOP's disastrous new "healthcare" bill feels like a potential unleashing of a longer-term and more deadly form of chaos that I and most of my fellow citizens are terrified of. I was going to say that it's never been more clear that a small group of wealthy, callous white men are in control of everyone else, but I must remember that for many, that has always been true in this country, since the arrival of Europeans. So I don't want to talk past the experiences of Native people and people of color, for whom this is already familiar territory. When does this ugliness stop, already? Why have things gotten SO stupid in the US?

 

I don't feel connected to any causes in particular, though I have to say that I have always channeled any concerns or reactions to the world through my art, so I think that's just continuing now. If my cause is to call attention to the dangers of hate and of Fascism in particular, then the graphic novel I'm working on certainly fulfills that. I was also thinking that being in a band was fulfilling some of what I felt to be my expressive calling right now, but that fell apart due to other people's issues. I mostly feel fine, just sort of weird. Like I'm in some kind of period of recovery and waiting. My body keeps getting odd injuries; as soon as I rehabbed my shoulder, my upper hamstrings started hurting. The waiting is creative, like, people I want to collaborate with have fallen away, no one is yet stepping up to take their place, except remotely (I have some remote music projects in the works with people who live in other cities, which is nice and is better than nothing, but isn't the same as being in a band that practices regularly and gets somewhere creatively). The band I was in was with a cadence mate and another entity mate, and I'm feeling the pull of wanting to be around entity family really hard. So it feels like a bit of a loss to not be, right now, though I know it's not ultimately that bad. Everyone is friends and cares for one another, no one had a falling out, we talk. It's just distant and I guess I'm feeling like I want to be around entity mates more than ever lately. More than my birth family, for sure.

On the other hand, every day I get to hang out with my amazing little girl, and I saw Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds last week, and am going to Ohio next month to sing on a bill with a good friend. So I'm not going to disparage my life. I just feel goddamn draggy right now.

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Jeroen

Before waking up from a dream early morning, I recall seeing a star map of our solar system. It was as if I was observing this map from space and could see the Earth in the background behind the map. On the map, there appeared to be a second star in the outer solar system with the sun towards the center of the map and the planets in between. I then saw the map become active and saw the planets orbiting around the sun in an accelerated manner. I did not see the companion star move very much.

 

I came across an article yesterday about a possible "Planet 10" being present in the Kuiper Belt. Perhaps this reading triggered the dream. This was the article.

 

https://www.space.com/37295-possible-planet-10.html

 

 

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Matt

i have seen several people in public yelling at other people, and looking to start conflicts today.  It's July 2nd today, and it makes me wonder if there is some sort of weird energy today.  I get home and on my facebook feed on top is a video of 2 ladies yelling at eachother over whos a bad parent.  Lots of conflict in the air, at least by me today.  Weird thing is i feel fine today, and i don't feel like getting mad, but people around me sure are.  Maybee just a coincidece, i don't know.  I almost saw a fight at a gas station this morning, then at the hardware store, a lady started going nuts because she thought she was skipped in line.  

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Connor
3 hours ago, Matt said:

i have seen several people in public yelling at other people, and looking to start conflicts today.

 

Lol, I live in Philly. What you're describing is an afternoon.

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Leela Corman

I had a horrible, aggro day at the end of last week - I made a right into my bike lane a little too fast and cut off a couple of fellow cyclists, which I immediately apologized for, but both of them (both big men) spent blocks surrounding me and yelling "Fuck you!" at me repeatedly. I told one to stop being rude and he whined "I'm being rude because you're going to get yourself killed!" (oh, thanks, that makes total sense, I might be trying to get the hell away from your aggro ass?) and then he biked off, presumably to a nice family with living children he doesn't deserve to parent. I spent the next couple of days berating myself for not following him and showering him with verbal abuse as he'd done to me. But I was needed at home, and also, when I'm the target of male aggression, I tend to go into self-preservation mode immediately, which is entirely rational. Then, mere moments later, when I was finally rid of them, a woman in a massive SUV lurched across the bike lane, AIMING AT ME, and then gave me the finger when I yelled "Hey!!" at her.

It's the male aggression that gets me the most, and honestly, it made me stay in the house for a few days, because it triggered my PTSD. Men, as a whole, need to think harder about how they express themselves to women, even if they are justified in being upset about something. There are inherent power dynamics in male-female, parent-child, teacher-student, white-black, and we need to consider where we are in those dynamics if we are in one of those sets, because whether we personally feel empowered in general, or not, these larger systemic dynamics exist and we must contend with them. In short, men, don't yell at women, unless they're actively coming at you with a weapon. It's more than you realize.

Edited by Leela Corman
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Leela Corman

I also want to add that I live in Gainesville, Florida, where this kind of behavior is not typical. I grew up in New York City and also spent a lot of time in Boston, and am used to aggression from strangers in both of those places. In Boston, it's not unusual to get beer bottles hurled at you from moving cars, for no apparent reason. Or you might get beat up for walking arm in arm with a friend of the same gender. In NYC people are just aggressive with one another, in ways that are sometimes a protection of boundaries, and sometimes just stupid and mean. But this is a sleepy Southern college town. People are usually too nice here. So I don't know what was going on the other day. I'm still a little afraid to leave the house!

 

Also, I have been really spacey on my bike lately, in ways that have surprised and worried me. Like, I'll think no one is coming, or that I have the light, and then suddenly discover I was terribly wrong. It's like my brain and depth perception aren't working, and I don't know if this should concern me or if this happens to everyone.

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