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Bobby

MMW - June 17, 2017 - Your Recipe For Happiness

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Eric

The big kicker for me was this:
"The goal is not to aim for a resting place of Happiness, but to get to the end of your life and have a stack of moments that are yours.

It is these stacks of moments, however fleeting, that define in great part what a life means to you. To avoid, ignore, squash, or wait for deserving any of those moments is cruel.

We encourage each of you to do the work of collecting those moments for yourselves, but also to be that moment for others.

If you choose to do so.

Be that moment for yourself and for others. They do add up. They are worth it. And your existence is already your permission."

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Matt

Love this

The goal is not to aim for a resting place of Happiness, but to get to the end of your life and have a stack of moments that are yours.

 

It is these stacks of moments, however fleeting, that define in great part what a life means to you. To avoid, ignore, squash, or wait for deserving any of those moments is cruel.

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Maxim

@Eric  Thanks, for some reason I was unable to read the whole transcript.  I wonder what in the world we do with these stacks of moments. I thought the idea was to let it all go and freshly experience a new moment.  Anyway, your appearance gave me one.

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Uma
2 hours ago, Bobby said:

On the broadest of levels that include all personal definitions of Happiness, we define Happiness as Emotional Pleasure.

This stood out to me as the best definition ever.

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Sam K

Heh, following along after the fact, the word I came up with to define happiness was "pleasure."  Guess I've heard this lesson before at some point. ?

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Jeroen

Thanks. This is very helpful.


My single word would be joy. My three words vital to that which come to mind are humor (mostly morbid), learning, and helping others. For the types, social, intellectual, and spiritual. I do not think any of the types are out of reach though. This session reminded me of a message I received from Essence the other morning, "The primary balance is joy."
 

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Bobby

Just for the note of fun synchronicity, I heard the following song in a movie tonight.  I'm very familiar with the song but the fact that pops up after this session today is interesting :)

 

Lucky Man by The Verve

 

 

Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

Well, I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

I hope you understand
I hope you understand

Gotta love that'll never die

Happiness 
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know 
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man

It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

 

 

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Kasia

Speaking of synchronicity, I was at the library yesterday and picked up a movie called "Hector and the Search for Happiness", totally on a whim. As I was about to start watching today, I thought I'd first check out what's new on TLE and found this perfectly themed (and timed) MMW posted. ? 

 

5 hours ago, Maxim said:

I wonder what in the world we do with these stacks of moments. I thought the idea was to let it all go and freshly experience a new moment.

 

I think this, from TLEGG 2015, will help answer that:

 

[Kasia]: This may have been answered before. I hate to use the word “purpose,” but is this sort of the reason, direction, purpose for why we are continuously striving for Agape: is to have these moments to then put them all together at the end of our entire journey?

 

[MEntity]: Yes. They are breadcrumbs home.

 

I will never forget this session or their answer. Undoubtedly a moment of True Happiness that hits quite a few of the types.

Edited by Kasia
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Sam K
6 hours ago, Maxim said:

I wonder what in the world we do with these stacks of moments. I thought the idea was to let it all go and freshly experience a new moment.


Why should new moments of happiness and old ones be in conflict?  That especially goes for Essence, which seems to recognize sequence in some form but does not experience strict, linear time as we do in incarnation.  If Essence can maintain any number of Concurrents and parallel lives at once, it doesn't seem like it would be so difficult for it to throw the enjoyment of happy "memories" into the mix as well.

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DianeHB

My biggest takeaway from this session was how often I resist happiness because one thing or another in my life isn't going my way. It makes a big difference in allowing pleasure in other parts of my life just to be aware of that. 

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BrianW

I'd also like to add this transcript, which ties into the Nine Needs and gives a bit more of explanation into the positive and negative poles of each: 

 

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BrianW

I started working on the homework that Michael offered and started with piecing together the 7 Types of Happiness to the 9 Needs and the 9 Strengths and Weaknesses. I started first with the Top 3 Needs that I naturally tend to fulfill or prioritize:

 

I might be making a few assumptions here, as I'd understand that the 9 Needs do not map directly 1:1 to the 7 types of Happiness, but I figured there would be some overlap. From the session, I had identified the four types of Happiness that I tend to find most easiest, namely Creative, Social, Intellectual, and Spiritual. I also knew that from the Nine Needs transcript and workshop, Michael had helped me to identify my Top 3 Needs, which were: 

 

Active Truth: INNOVATION

Inspirational Love: RESONANCE

Expressive Energy: INTIMACY

 

From the Nine Strengths / Weaknesses workshop, Michael gave a great explanation of how the positive and negative poles of each of these show up:

 

The ACTION Strength of the Truth Tier is INNOVATION

Its positive manifestation is EXPRESSION, and its negative manifestation is IMPOSITION

This is the Strength to come up with solutions, ideas, resolutions, etc because of the capacity to see patterns, and to implement those solutions, etc. effectively. The positive manifestation is that implementation, or EXPRESSION of Innovation. The negative manifestation is that same Expression, but without agreement, communication, clarification, etc. The Strength may still be that a solution is affected, but if this is pushed upon others, no matter how great a solution, it can be an Imposition. This is an example of what we meant by all of these Strengths still always having a rather "positive" effect, but the degree of consciousness and awareness can determine its effect on others, or yourself.

 

The INSPIRATIONAL Strength of LOVE is RESONANCE.

This shows up positively as EXCHANGE, but can also show up negatively as SENSITIVITY, or Prejudice. This is the fragment who tends to naturally bring out the best in himself or herself, or others, even in the worst of situations. When it shows up as Exchange, it is a reciprocating experience that is inspiring to both or all parties, and something is shared. When it shows up negatively, it can be experienced as a heightened sensitivity, because no real exchange is happening, or there is resistance to the Resonance. It would be something like plucking a string on a guitar to affect a certain note, but having it usurped by a pressing thumb that changes the note. When that original note is heard, there is Exchange. When it is resisted, ignored, or altered, it generates a Sensitivity. We use the word "sensitive" here in the sense of painful, not just being acutely aware. We also use the word 'prejudice' because, (using the guitar analogy) the intended note is expected of the string. Resonance as a positive manifestation would adapt and find the common denominator that brings true resonance, but prejudice would just keep plucking for the same note.

 

The EXPRESSION Strength of ENERGY is INTIMACY.

When this shows up positively, it is ACCEPTANCE, but when it shows up negatively, it might look like VIOLATION. People with this Strength tend to make you feel very good, even though they make no effort to do so. It simply feels "good" to be around them, and a sense of acceptance and intimacy is generated, whether invited, or not. In this case of Strengths, Intimacy is different from Resonance in that Resonance is like playing the same notes on different instruments, and Intimacy is to play different notes on the same instrument, if you will.  When this shows up positively, it is such a harmony that Acceptance is experienced, but when it shows up negatively, it can be much like having your own song drowned out, so to speak, leaving you feeling Violated.

 

Now, taking these positive poles, I mapped them over to the 7 Degrees that were offered in the Nine Needs workshop:

 

The ACTION Strength of the Truth Tier is INNOVATION

Its positive manifestation is EXPRESSION, and its negative manifestation is IMPOSITION

EXPRESSION: +Creativity/-Lies

 

7 Levels of Expression: "Expression through"

  1. Total Destruction, Meltdown, Breakdown
  2. Acting Destructively (publicizing one's destruction, meltdown, or breakdown in hopes of being seen or heard)
  3. Infamy (being defined by destructive behaviors)
  4. Work Projects (crafts, collaborations, career, etc.)
  5. Entertaining (bringing laughter and levity)
  6. Art (authentic originality, honesty and innocence in expression)
  7. Renaissance (expansion or transformation of standards and assumptions)

The INSPIRATIONAL Strength of LOVE is RESONANCE.

This shows up positively as EXCHANGE, but can also show up negatively as SENSITIVITY, or Prejudice.

 

EXCHANGE: +Wisdom/-Gossip

7 Degrees of Exchange: "exchange satisfied through"

  1. Slander/Provocation
  2. Venting (sharing of anger or frustration)
  3. Idle Chatter (small talk)
  4. Trade/Barter
  5. Mutual Profit (benefit exceeds what was exchanged)
  6. Understanding (grasping different or opposing perspectives)
  7. Teaching/Learning (living as example, or allowing others to inspire)

 

The EXPRESSION Strength of ENERGY is INTIMACY.

When this shows up positively, it is ACCEPTANCE, but when it shows up negatively, it might look like VIOLATION.

ACCEPTANCE: +Openness/-Manipulation

 

 7 Degrees of Acceptance: "Acceptance found in"

  1. Ingratiation (groveling, apologizing, losing oneself to the expectations of another)
  2. Pleasing Others (programmed by presumed or obvious expectations of others)
  3. Tolerance (feigned acceptance while hiding prejudices)
  4. Conditional Love (upholding Acceptance based in mutual benefit)
  5. Causal Love (recognition of the impact of another or the self in ways that understand the greater benefits that override any pain)
  6. Unconditional Love (allowing one to be as one is)
  7. True Agape (fully empathizing with another; true affection)

By looking at it this way, it helped me to understand what behaviors I am doing at any given moment that support my own happiness and how that happiness might manifest.

 

I do need to start looking at the 3 Needs I most neglect or find difficult to fulfill are the ingredients necessary for the Type/s of Happiness you feel most difficult to obtain, which I had identified as Physical and Primary. Going this same route, I'd look at the negative poles of my behaviors and see where they might manifest in my life.

 

For example, 

 

FREEDOM: +Independence/-Noncommittal

 

7 Degrees of Freedom: "freedom found in";

  1. Destructive Irresponsibility
  2. Aimlessness
  3. Physical Liberation (material stability) 
  4. Mental Liberation (thinking for oneself) 
  5. Emotional Liberation (emotions are had, but the emotions do not have you; not being controlled by emotions) (reaction vs response, I'm working on this)
  6. Choosing freely (recognizing the power of choice in every instance) (power of choice is one of my True Studies)
  7. Realization of True Unlimited Potential (True Peace with one's choices)

 

POWER: +Authority/-Authoritarian

 

7 Degrees of Power: "power manifested in"

  1. Crushing Opposition (destroying your designated enemy) (usually myself) 
  2. Oppressing self/Others (restricting choices and actions) (usually of myself) 
  3. Controlling Self/Others (using guilt, manipulation, regret, shame, rules, etc.) (usually of myself, though sometimes others) 
  4. Guiding Self/Others (seeing and sharing solutions) (at my best)
  5. Consciously Choosing (owning the results of choice) (not quite there yet, but it is on my True Study of the impact and power of choice)
  6. Building Spirit/Morale (choosing encouragement) (I absolutely suck at this)
  7. Personal Spiritual Power (full permission to choose without fear of a "wrong" choice) (omg, anxiety and over-thinking, no, this is not me)

 

COMMUNITY: +Sharing/-Indiscrimination

 

7 Degrees of Community: "Community experienced through"

  1. Desperate Contact (longing, aching, pining, lonliness)
  2. Intense Neediness (pushing oneself on others, ignoring all social cues, forcing others to tend to you, narcissim) 
  3. Fraternizing (bonding only with those who share in familiar experiences or history) 
  4. Socializing (expanding beyond the comforts of familiarity) (at my best)
  5. Mutual Closeness (kindness) (at my best, though thankfully kindness seems to come a bit easier for me)
  6. Intimacy/Communion (inclusion) (working on this)
  7. Unity (full embrace of differences as facets of a whole)

ADVENTURE: +Presence/-Drama

 

7 Degrees of Adventure: "adventure found in"

  1. Destructive, Exaggerated, Reactionary, Manipulative Drama (I used to do this a lot until recently, and when I was very young I'd do it just for attention) 
  2. Glamour/Addictions (losing the self in stimulation)
  3. Sensory excitement (defining the self by experiences of a rush) 
  4. Stimulation of Mind/Learning
  5. Inner Revelations
  6. Essence Contact (finding pleasure in seeing beyond superficial differences) 
  7. Enlightenment/Total Presence (never losing the sense of self, even among those who cannot see or experience your truth of being)

So taking these negative poles of Drama (Adventure), Indescrimination (Community), Authoritarian (Power), and Noncommittal (Freedom), let me pull out the Nine Strengths and Weakness, being mindful of how those work and try to link them to the 7 Types of Happiness.

 

The Inspiration Truth Strength of REVELATION, showing up as Freedom, but as Provocation when a Weakness.

 

The Action Love Strength of CURIOSITY, showing up as Adventurous, but as Destructive when a Weakness

 

The Expression Love Strength of AUTHENTICITY showing up as Power, but as Self-Righteousness when a Weakness

 

The Action Energy Strength of INCLUSION showing up as Communing, but as Policing when a Weakness

 

Now as the 9 Strengths and Weaknesses are grouped in threes along the axes, thus I would aim for a Truth, a Love, and an Energy, and an Action, an Inspiration, and an Expression. I'm debating between whether most neglected needs are Curiosity, Authenticity, or Inclusion. I've probably become better at the mid-level areas of Adventure than Authenticity, thus that drops out The Action Love Strength of Curiosity (not to say that it isn't a weakness, as I can get very self-destructive, but nowhere near as much of a weakness as Authenticity in terms of my own personal power (hello Boundaries and my Life Task).

 

Thus that leaves me with my Top 3 Weaknesses and my most neglected needs to be:

 

Inspiration Truth: FREEDOM

Expression Love: POWER

Action Energy: COMMUNITY

 

Given these neglected Needs / Weaknesses of FREEDOM / Noncommittal, showing up as ProvocationPOWER / Authenticity, showing up as Self-Righteousness, and COMMUNITY / Inclusion, showing up as Policing, I can backtrack and pull out the areas of Happiness that I need to work on, as well as use the 7 Degrees of each of these Weaknesses to be able to identify behaviors that may be holding me back from that Happiness and offer suggestions on how to turn those Weaknesses into Strengths and thus help fulfill those Needs.

 

Now the tricky part would seem to be mapping the Nine Needs onto the Seven Types of Happiness, since it's not one to one. I'll use a little deduction and say that since I've identified that Creative, Social, Intellectual, and at times, Spiritual Happiness seem to come naturally, the remaining three of Primary, Physical, and Purposeful Happiness are probably the ones that I struggle with the most. I do struggle at times with Social Happiness, and this shows up when I impose myself on others, attempt to police them, and ignore social cues (such as others saying No, but that is part of my Life Task of understanding, accepting, and working within the Boundaries of myself and others). I also know that Resonance is such a strength of mine (sometimes to the point of Physical and Emotional Pain), that it can help to subdue some of this. It's a hard balancing act for me that I don't always get right, but it does bring me happiness when I do.

 

Physical Happiness would seem to most easily map to the Need of ADVENTURE, as the more negative degrees of Adventure seem to be geared more towards stimulation, ranging from gaining attention to sensory stimulation. The way through this seems to be stimulation of the mind through learning and inner revelations.

 

I can also see how Purposeful Happiness might go along with the Need of POWER and COMMUNITY, as Michael describes Purposeful Happiness as "the meaning you draw from and infuse into your life, your existence, and relationships and motivations and directions. This is the Happiness that many tend to "seek" or think must be found, but that is not how it works." I recall Michael telling me in my Essence report a very long time ago that I often seek out to try to be meaningful:

 

Quote

The primary theme that we can see for the current lifetime is the constant search for Meaning.  This Personality has become obsessed with finding, discovering, and receiving Meaning from its experiences.  There is a presumption that everything MUST mean SOMETHING, and this sets the stage for the search, which is a primary focus for the Goal of the Lifetime.  However, the obsession and distraction with Meaning will not become a force of support until it can be comprehended that Meaning is something that one CREATES; it is something that one FINDS.


Looking at that last part, we can see that Purposeful Happiness is something we must find, create, and share. Thus I need to work on developing my own personal Power through guiding myself and others, consciously choosing and owning the results of those choices, and encourage others in my Community by means of socializing, kindness, and inclusion (by invitation, rather than by manipulation or guilt or shame). This seems to make sense.

 

That leaves me with the Need of FREEDOM and Primary Happiness. Michael did mention that this is the happiness that "has no reason, no logic, no question. It is that moment when you know that nothing matters and that everything matters. It is that moment when you take in that moment or person or experience and connect with the ancient part of you that is immortal and epic. This Primary Happiness is always present and the most accessible of all Happiness. It is also the most avoided and dismissed." So if it is always present, perhaps I need to give myself the FREEDOM to allow that Primary Happiness to exist by thinking for myself, controlling my emotions (learning to walk on water, as Michael once told me), and recognizing the power of choice in every instance in order to achieve True Peace. As Michael mentioned to Bobby in this workshop, Happiness is "a state that must first be allowed and then nurtured. It is simple in the sense choosing how to see, how to think, how to feel, and owning the self as a holistic organism that has a right to a moment of Emotional Pleasure, even amid the most challenging moments of life." 

 

Quote

Primary Happiness is easy to dismiss for two reasons: One is that it is "too easy." For some, the ease of access to a basic Happiness is simply rejected. There is comfort in misery. There is a fear that if happy then one's sense of motivation would halt or that it is a kind of giving up. In other words, Happiness is "not supposed to be easy," it must be earned. It must be deserved. And there is no one to constantly remind and prove that it is deserved. So any moments of Happiness are met with suspicion and distrust and immediately squashed. The other reason is that the suffering of others makes it difficult to enjoy the random moments of joy in one's own life. It is a guilty pleasure, something to put off until everyone can share in it or have their own. When others are not happy, it is difficult to allow oneself to be happy.

 

So along these lines, my interpretation of this is that I need to give myself permission and the FREEDOM to simply allow myself to be Happy.*

 

* Easier said than done, but at least it is Good Work to be able to see how it all fits together and be able to see a path forward for myself, one that integrates my Trues, aids in my Life Task, and helps me to find Clarity, Stability, and Satisfaction / Fulfillment to come to a state of Serenity amidst the chaos that is my over-thinking, guilt-tripping, fearful, anxious and depression-riddled self.

 

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Kasia
3 hours ago, BrianW said:

I'd also like to add this transcript, which ties into the Nine Needs and gives a bit more of explanation into the positive and negative poles of each: 

 

Thanks for linking this, Brian. I realised that despite posting it, I hadn't actually read it before, and you're right, all of this ties together, perfectly exemplified in your very thorough analysis above. Now that you've got a map, enjoy the journey!  ?

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Diane
15 hours ago, Kasia said:

Speaking of synchronicity, I was at the library yesterday and picked up a movie called "Hector and the Search for Happiness", totally on a whim. As I was about to start watching today, I thought I'd first check out what's new on TLE and found this perfectly themed (and timed) MMW posted. 1f60d.png 

 

@Kasia While we were chatting before the session started I mentioned 'Hector and the Search for Happiness'.  You must have been there with us.  Hope you found the movie to be as delightful as I did.

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Kasia
1 hour ago, Diane said:

@Kasia While we were chatting before the session started I mentioned 'Hector and the Search for Happiness'.  You must have been there with us.  Hope you found the movie to be as delightful as I did.

 

You're kidding! ?  I hadn't even really heard of the film before, but psychology and travelling are my two passions, so I picked it up. I definitely enjoyed it, especially the part with the French "pronunciation" of Happiness.  ?? British humor just gets me... 

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Maxim

@Kasia @Sam K  Thanks for the repsonses.  At the time all I could think of was being in the astral with your stack and trading them like baseball cards.  "I'll give you three beautiful sunsets for a kiss with you know who."

 

All and all I am doing pretty good on the happiness scale.  I used to ask people to start a conversation, "where are you on the happiness scale?"  'Tis so great that Michael analyzes and teases all this out to make it more clear and then go back to living letting it all blend as one. 

 

Sometimes I wish people around me knew Michaelese, not so much for their sake but for mine to have a conversation in the same tongue.  "I can see in this moment you are missing purposeful and spiritual happiness."  I don't think so.  Actually, just being present and offering a smile, a nod or a touch can do much more.

 

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Matt

I loved the quote from this session so much, i made it into a meme for my cover photo on facebook

 

IMG_1298.JPG

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BrianW
3 hours ago, Kasia said:

 

Thanks for linking this, Brian. I realised that despite posting it, I hadn't actually read it before, and you're right, all of this ties together, perfectly exemplified in your very thorough analysis above. Now that you've got a map, enjoy the journey!  1f609.png

 

Thanks Kaisa. I actually wrote it up so that others could replicate it for themselves and create their own map. It just seemed to flow so naturally that I wanted to share it.

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DianeHB

I just wanted to share the trailer to the "Happy" documentary I mentioned in another discussion. It's available on Netflix. We watched this a while ago, and it reminded me that the things that make us happy are actually very simple, and we (as in me and Tex) already have them. 

 

 

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