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    Kings and their Skillful Delegation

    KurtisM

    [This material was originally posted by DianeHB, a King, as a private session transcript on June 21, 2016. Permission was granted for placement in the Study Library. The material was edited to remove content irrelevant to this Study Library category.]

     

    DianeHB: Hello Michael. I recently had some issues with my assistant's attitude that made me really angry with her. Occasionally when I point out mistakes or instruct her to do something differently on the computer, she would interrupt me and repeatedly deny any mistakes so that I couldn't even get a word in to explain the mistake or train her how to do it correctly. ...

     

    MEntity: As for how to get through to the individual in question, repetitiveness is likely the only way.

     

    DianeHB: You mean just keep addressing the issue as it comes up?

     

    MEntity:
    It may require patience, but if the goal is to break through and to bring about change, then you must bring to her attention these mistakes over and over. But each time, you must reset your energy as if it is the first time. Any exasperation or anger motivating your approach may break the progress.

     

    "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done."

     

    "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done."

     

    "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done."

     

    DianeHB: My challenge is I'm overworked myself and I'm really not in the mood to babysit people.

     

    MEntity:
    There are definitive dynamics in the workplace that arise as positive and negative roles/positions.

     

    Understanding how to navigate these as they arise can be quite empowering.

     

    Diane, it is important to consider two things here:

     

    If it is not part of your position to "babysit," then you likely have the right and power to escort the situation to someone who is in that position. Inform the individual that you will be partnering her with the person who can further help her.

     

    If it is part of your position to "babysit," then you must first stop referring to it as "babysitting." This is Tyranny. You may be overworked, and it is fair to be frustrated and exhausted, but you have the capacity to lead. Choose Leadership. They are not just people filling cogs, and then inconveniencing you when they fall short. They are human beings with lives, with fears, with inabilities and insecurities and overwhelm, as well.

     

    Choose Mastery.

     

    This is not just a scenario that is out to get you, but a scenario that can provide a rich learning experience and possibly change everything for you as you continue to claim your right to the energy that is yours.

     

    There will always be failing people. There will always be flailing people. There will always be mistakes. There will always be ups and downs and great days and stressful days.

     

    What Mastery allows is for you to keep the Human alive in there.

     

    DianeHB: Mastery is hard. People are hard.

     

    MEntity:
    When life becomes a matter of THINGS that need to stay in their place, you have moved to Tyranny. Life and People are a glorious mess. They are not just moving parts or made up of moving parts, but are containers of creativity, feeling, desire, sadness, joy, etc.

     

    You are not in optimum conditions. You know this. It is part of the built-in atmosphere for the moment. It is stressful. We know this. You know this. Everyone knows this. None of this will ever be a valid excuse for anyone to strip another of their Humanness.

     

    You were taught to strip yourself of your Humanness as a method for being a successful and silent cog. You called bullshit on this long ago. Now you are okay with being angry when you are angry and you know you have a right to be happy in your efforts to be successful.

     

    But in your waking up to this right for yourself, you may have forgotten to include freeing others along with you.

     

    Weakness and defensiveness in others is not something with which to be disgusted. It is an invitation to help another remember her Humanness.

     

    DianeHB: Thank you for reminding me.

     

    MEntity:
    This is not to make an excuse for poor performance or lack of skill that may cause more harm than good, but if it is only a matter of patience and kindness, then we can say that choosing the patience and kindness is valid.

     

    If others are at risk because of the lack of skill or mistakes, then that is a different context that requires action to help keep everyone from harm. You must make that call.

     

    We remind you of this Humanness, not just to help in your managing of others, but as a reminder of your own work toward Mastery. You do not seek the path of Mastery at the expense of your Humanness.

     

    Being responsible with and for your feelings is Good Work.

     

    Consider this: How effective would we be with our students if when they repeated "mistakes," we simply expressed anger, took it personally, or saw it as babysitting? Would it have been more effective for us to say, "For Tao's sake, get with it!"? Probably not. For some students we have to speak more directly, for others more poetically, for others in repetition, for others in layers, and so on.

     

    You may think that the comparison of our position to yours is a bit of a false equivalency or entirely different, but this would be untrue.

     

    DianeHB: LOL. That's exactly what I was thinking. But I don't disagree with your point about effectiveness.

     

    MEntity:
    One of the final "lessons" of the Old Soul is the ownership and responsibility of her position as Teacher.

     

    You are, all, Teachers. Your life is a Teaching. And your relationships, however brief, professional, deep, or shallow, are your Students.

     

    You may not be able to make this situation better. But if you approach it with your greatest kindness, patience, and consideration, you will know have done your best, and aimed for Mastery.

     

    ### end of transcript ###

     

    Note: You may comment on the original post. See Mastery and Dealing with Reactions at Work.


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