This material was obtained by Connor in a private session in 2017.
Question: I'm curious what information and insight you can give me on my stutter as a Warrior-cast Sage.
Though there can be physical causes for stuttering, a great deal of the perpetuation or increased struggle with it can be due to more emotional and psychological conditioning. Most stuttering is due to a mix of blocked self-expression and an extreme distrust in that expression.
This may not be your own distrust, as it may have originated by watching and learning from those who imprinted you, but it becomes your distrust after time.
This tends to happen when sadness is not allowed to be expressed without shame, when crying is blocked or rejected, when sadness or crying is seen as a weakness.
Ultimately, it is a state that refuses to listen to the self. Stuttering happens when there is a gap between what is wished to be expressed and how that is heard by you.
This is true in emotional, intellectual, and physical terms.
Because it is true on each of these levels, it can be treated on any of these levels and have a cascading effect across all bodies.
Question: Bodies being the ones around me? Or the terms themselves?
For example, there are devices that allow for an auditory delay in the ear that allows as a kind of corrective measure, or synchronizing between expression and reception.
Bodies as in your emotional, intellectual, etc.
If you do not have access to such a device, you must do the work of listening and expression more actively. Often this means slowing down expression, slowing down thoughts, using various forms of expression (hand gestures, cues, etc) to indicate that it is important for you to pace your communication so that it is comfortable and clear to you.
Allowing room to cry "for no reason" can help, as well, because there may be ancient wounds stored in you that can come up "out of nowhere" for you to process. This can be confusing and feel like "bad days" or low energy or depression, but it is likely these layers of sadness that were never fully allowed to be released.
In addition to the above, there is singing and shouting that can help.
These can be brought into expression randomly and for fun and help you to return to a confidence in your expression.
Rather than see these as *just* for fun, see these as adding to your fuel of confidence and comfort with yourself.
The more you include shame or self-consciousness in your mix of expression, the more out of sync you may find your expression.
You may always stutter. You may always have better days and worse days. The key then is not in worrying about "fixing" yourself, but in embracing a range of comfort of expression that is YOURS.
Others will navigate this just fine. Some may be less patient or have more difficulty, but you must consider your stutter to be nothing different from being a language in itself.
If you spoke only English among Chinese speakers, you would not fault English or Chinese. You would understand that there is a difference and that it is simply your job to do your best to find a common ground for communication.
As with differences in language, some people are less patient with those who do not speak their language and others are eager to find a bridge of comfort and communication.
You can only do your part. The rest is not a reflection of your value or meaning or importance. It is a reflection of others.
Continue the practice of honesty, speaking up for yourself, allowing room for sadness and slowing down your thoughts and listening more to yourself. These are the only things you can do on your own as a path toward comfort and confidence in your communication.