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  • Arrogance and Acceptance

    Janet

    [Excerpt from CF Report received on December 3, 2014; shared with permission]

     

    MEntity

    First, we will discuss the Primary Chief Feature: Arrogance. 

     

    Your Primary Chief Feature describes how one protects oneself "from the world," so to speak. It is often the most visible of the Chief Features, and is used as a defensive front/persona against any threats "from the world."

     

    Because the Goal of the Personality tends to encompass how one's actions interact with the world, the Primary Chief Feature affects the Goal.

     

    So the Primary Chief Feature describes your obstacles to being effective in both the world and in reaching your Goal. ...

     

    Arrogance is the means that one decides upon when it is determined that "the world" is looking too closely at you, or that you were exposed to the world in some way that threatened your trust in vulnerability.

     

    Arrogance often goes hand in hand with Acceptance because of the inherent nature of the Goal of Acceptance. Acceptance is the goal of second, third, and fourth (or more) chances as a way to try to accept someone, or as a way to convince someone that you are acceptable.This vulnerability is fueled by a form of innocence for a long time, but if that vulnerability is betrayed or brings too much attention to you in a way that leaves you exposed, the protection against vulnerability begins to build.

     

    For those in Acceptance with Arrogance, the shift tends to move away from BEING Accepted, to being Accepting. ...

     

    For those in Acceptance, the capacity to see everything is high, but this is not a skill many have. So it is easy to begin to show others only what you choose to show them.

     

    Arrogance then begins to make an art of appearing as personable and open as possible so that everyone thinks there is nothing being hidden. But for those in Arrogance, there is always something hidden, and it is a dark secret among those in Arrogance that they are just waiting for someone to see past the facades and into the dark. This is when they "know" they might finally be loved.

     

    But even when those in Arrogance are finally seen, there is defense is so entrenched that the love is not felt. This is most often seen in if there are symptoms where compliments are dismissed or shrugged off as if they are pandering or misguided social gestures.

     

    Arrogance/Acceptance learns how to keep others at a distance by turning the attention back onto others with kindness, compliments, or help, so any gestures of this nature in their own direction are determined to be insincere. Eventually, Arrogance/Acceptance decides that only he or she truly knows how to love and to accept others, but that others will never truly know how to love and accept them.

     

    For the older soul, this is how Vanity, the Negative Pole shows up.

     

    "I am better at loving than you are."

     

    A carefully orchestrated facade is constantly maneuvered between the self and the world and then it is wondered why no one truly sees you.

     

    When Arrogance moves into the positive pole of Pride, this often shows up for the older soul in his or her appearance.

     

    There is a certain amount of investment in taking care of the self so that it is presentable.

     

    For those in Arrogance, as soon as there is any streak of time when interactions decline, appearance, self-care, hygiene, clothing choices, etc., all begin to lose significance. Only if one is being seen, even if superficially, do these things matter anymore. ...

     

    For those in Arrogance as primary chief feature, it can be helpful to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE - go be around people; go do something, and better yet, interact with people.

     

    This is not the same thing as tolerating people and being superficial, but actually being a part of a group who shares interests, hobbies, goals, etc.

     

    Let this idea of "get out of the house" extend into "house" meaning anything into which you find yourself hiding. For example, it may mean "get out of your skin" or "get out from behind your children" or "get out of your routines."

     

    Anything that actively exposes you to the world again in a way that you choose.

     

    Another way that you can help transform Arrogance is to LET PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

     

    By this we mean that you actively embrace every kind gesture sent your way, regardless of its depth.

     

    If someone smiles at you, let that in. If someone thanks you, let that in. And, of course, anything deeper in meaning, let that in, as well. 

     

    And, finally, for those in Arrogance/Acceptance, this one can be the most painful and difficult aspect to accept and transform as a way to move up and out of Arrogance: STOP BEING BETTER THAN THE WORLD

     

    We say that in a tongue-in-cheek way, but it is true that many in Arrogance, particularly in Arrogance/Acceptance, sense that they are simply not a part of the world, that they are simply enduring it, and that they are better than most. For the older soul, this does not show up in the same way that it shows up for younger souls. In younger souls, this shows up as blatantly self-indulgent and entitled, over-confident, offensive, etc.

     

    But for the older soul, this shows up as "why can't you see what I see" and "people are stupid" or "the world has gone insane" or "I guess I will do all of the loving, thinking, and feeling that others don't seem to be able to do" etc.

     

    So if similar thoughts or words pass through you, stop for a moment and put yourself back into the world, back into the picture, and embrace that you are a PART of the world, not above it or beyond it.

     

    This may seem a random exercise, but it can truly help one to make more effective choices rather than to leave the self dismissing any effort because it might not matter.

     

    ### end of excerpt

    This content may be discussed in the blog entry describing this report: Chief Features: Arrogance & Martyrdom.


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