This material was received on November 1, 2016.
Hello Michael, what are the seven Angles of Behavior for transforming stubbornness?
One moment as we compile a response.
ONE - MOVE A LITTLE MORE - Just when you think you have reached a point where you are certain, sure, and conclusively confident in your position, consider moving just a little more. Treat this as a curiosity, not as a concession. Treat this as an opportunity for true confidence, not defensive confidence.
TWO - SAY NO TO NO - More often than not, if Stubbornness is in effect, there is some form of protection against change or the unknown being upheld by emphasizing the "NO" in your life. Allow yourself the comfort of NO, but by using it to help dismantle its stronghold against your even considering a YES. One way to do this is by using the phrase NOT YET, as in, you are still ready with your NO, but NOT YET. When you immediately wish to say No, say No, Not Yet. And give some breathing room for the chance to say Yes.
THREE - TELL THE TRUTH - Stubbornness often prompts you to tell lies to yourself and to others about why you resist or reject change or moving into uncertainty or the unknown. These can show up as excuses, evasive language, sometimes to the point of having become an art. To help dismantle the fear of change, you have to tell the truth, speak up about what you want, what you need, and what you do not want or do not need. Stubbornness is often prompted because you have not owned the responsibility of your own authority over your life, so you learn to make excuses. Sometimes, all one must do is speak up and be present as a way of navigating uncertainty, rather than hiding and evading.
FOUR - TRUST YOURSELF - Stubbornness can close one down to any new input and block any consideration of new experience or new information because if that new information or experience encourages you to change or expand, then you lose your sense of self that you have grown to protect so carefully. But who you grow to be is built from you, and is not a replacement of you. Trust not only who you feel you are now, but who you are in the next moment. You do not lose yourself when you change, and you do not lose yourself in change. You will always be you.
FIVE - SHARE AUTHORITY - Stubborn often prompts one to interpret any source of authority or input or nudge to your life as an invasive maneuver out to challenge your comfort levels and peace of mind or even as a challenge to your own authority over your life. Sometimes that may be the case, but most often it is not. So when you feel yourself being triggered by what you see as someone trying to be smarter, trying to tell you what to do, trying to say you are wrong, trying to push you, remember that you do not have to constantly fight this source of authority, you can remember to share in that authority.
In other words, no matter how much smarter, right, advanced, experienced, etc. another person may be, you are on equal ground in terms of the authority over your life. These individuals are authorities in their own life and they may be better at some things than you are, and you may be better in other things. Listen, learn, and share. Sometimes this is a one-way experience and then you must embrace this as a gift, not an imposition.
SIX - DIE EVERY DAY - Practice experiencing each day as new, rather than as a continuation of the day before. Do not just dive into the new day, but Die into the new day. No matter how similar the days may be, wake up to one new thing, even if it is a small thing. Wake up to a moment of perfect temperature and nostalgic breeze. Wake up to a nice memory in the middle of the day. Wake up to a kind gesture, or a funny moment.
You live many many lifetimes and from the point of view of Stubbornness, it would convince you that they are all alike, nothing really changes, and put you to sleep against your evolution. But every lifetime is new. Every lifetime is different. And every day is new.
SEVEN - BE WRONG - One of the most entrenching states that Stubbornness can get into is the enduring insistence that one must be right, must not fail, must not be challenged, and this means one MUST NOT MOVE. This circles back to the first point to move a little more, but sometimes that move has to be in the willingness to be wrong, to embrace mistakes, to embrace a challenge. You do not even have to be wrong to be wrong. What we mean by this is that you may be right on many levels, but if someone else decides you are wrong, sometimes that has to be okay.
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You may discuss this content within the recipient's blog entry. See Transforming the Chief Feature of Stubbornness.