[Excerpt from private session in 2015: More on the Goal of Dominance]
I've been studying the Goal of Dominance in people I know and would like some validation. What I see is that they all have either spent a great deal of time sliding to Submission or they do exemplify leadership (like XX does) but they want to downplay their leadership value so as not to draw attention to it. It’s like even the ones that clearly use their Positive Poles are embarrassed about being known to “shine” as a leader or they see it as “too much” or “manipulation”, somehow, and don’t want to be “found out” that they have this “power”.
I see this Goal as a strength, in each of them, so I find it hard to understand why they have such a hard time either acknowledging this Goal or want to dissociate from it or at least appear to. I feel like there may be a very simple explanation for this, perhaps cultural, and I may be complicating my understanding of it.
Would you comment on a major theme that goes across the board for this Goal or if (only if) it would be helpful, for my understanding, would you comment on each of them. Nephew (Warrior-cast Sage), Nephew's mother (king-cast Warrior). Friend (Scholar-cast Warrior). Friend (Sage-cast Priest). Friend (Warrior-cast Sage).
First, as you know, this is a Goal. It is not a description of where one IS, but a description of where one is trying to go. This means that those in Acceptance, may not be accepting, but are trying to be. Those in Dominance may not be leaders, but are trying to be.
Second, specific to any Exalted Goal is the dynamic of being exposed, seen, put into positions of responsibility, put into positions of obligation, put into positions of expectations, etc.
Depending on the Role, other Overleaves, imprinting, gender, culture, etc, this makes for either a very appealing Goal or a terrifying Goal.
Currently, more females have moved toward taking on this Goal, all while growing up in cultures that shame them, even punish them, for this effort.
The association of reward vs punishment with the results of pursuing this Goal makes for many Personalities learning to do so in disguise, through stealth, strategy, or over long arcs of time so that no one notices.
In addition to this, when Dominance "fails," they fail HARD. Failure to Dominance is as physically, emotionally, and intellectually painful as rejection is for Acceptance, or meaninglessness and pointlessness are for Growth.
For your nephew, there is imprinting involved that comes from the modeling of Dominance from his mother. For the rest in your list, it is for the most part a matter of gender and culture. Some embrace the challenge of Dominance more readily than others, but each are coming to terms with their strengths of leadership.
Edited by Janet