This material was taken from a private session originally posted on January 22, 2011.
Q: I'm a little concerned of our daughter, as she's become really shy outside the circle of the closest family and friends. She's been a very strong-willed toddler, and when she was younger I would've never imagined she'd be a shy child, but now she is. I wasn't shy as a child, so I have troubles relating to her feelings. What would be the best way to deal with this now, to encourage her, but at the same time make her feel it's okay to be shy?
We see this as a stage of her developing consciousness that is simply particular to her way of becoming aware of "Other."
It is only just dawning on this fragment that "other" is not always a safe or familiar extension of "mother, father, or me." This is natural. Shyness, in this case, does not appear to be based in fear as much as it is in the beginning of her Overleaves being ignited. A child "grows into" Overleaves, and though it takes approximately 7 years for this to be completed, the various Overleaves begin to manifest at different times.
During the 2nd Internal Monad, the first of the Overleaves will begin to manifest, and this will set the stage for the general arc of the entire lifetime. For instance, if the Attitude sets first, then the life would take on a more philosophical or Intellectual tone, whereas if the Mode is activated, then the life may bring more emphasis to the themes of relationships and intimacy, while the Goal would bring a life focused more on the gaining of experiences for the point of that Goal.
This first activation usually happens during the 6th Stage of the 2nd Internal Monad as Autonomy is being realized. In this case, the Goal has been activated, and this means the reality of the spectrum of Acceptance has now been comprehended to some meaningful degree. The 2nd Internal Monad is already a rather fragile process, with a great need for supply of security and value from caretakers, and when a child activates a Goal of Acceptance, then that supply is in even greater need.
Bringing to her a sense of safety when she needs it is exactly what she needs, and upon securing that realization that she is safe, she will then begin her own methods for how to Accept or Be Accepted. Emphasizing her value to you, to herself, and to the world, can also help to expand the sense of self-esteem, which would then help her to move more confidently through the challenges of Acceptance.
Your own history that lacked shyness is because of your igniting your Attitude first, which gave you a very early, quick, and clear perspective of what and who you were in relation to others, allowing for a more solid sense of self.