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  • Growing into Overleaves

    Janet

    This material was taken from a private session originally posted on January 22, 2011.

     

    Q: I'm a little concerned of our daughter, as she's become really shy outside the circle of the closest family and friends. She's been a very strong-willed toddler, and when she was younger I would've never imagined she'd be a shy child, but now she is. I wasn't shy as a child, so I have troubles relating to her feelings. What would be the best way to deal with this now, to encourage her, but at the same time make her feel it's okay to be shy?

     

    MEntity:

    We see this as a stage of her developing consciousness that is simply particular to her way of becoming aware of "Other."

     

    It is only just dawning on this fragment that "other" is not always a safe or familiar extension of "mother, father, or me." This is natural. Shyness, in this case, does not appear to be based in fear as much as it is in the beginning of her Overleaves being ignited. A child "grows into" Overleaves, and though it takes approximately 7 years for this to be completed, the various Overleaves begin to manifest at different times.

     

    During the 2nd Internal Monad, the first of the Overleaves will begin to manifest, and this will set the stage for the general arc of the entire lifetime. For instance, if the Attitude sets first, then the life would take on a more philosophical or Intellectual tone, whereas if the Mode is activated, then the life may bring more emphasis to the themes of relationships and intimacy, while the Goal would bring a life focused more on the gaining of experiences for the point of that Goal.

     

    This first activation usually happens during the 6th Stage of the 2nd Internal Monad as Autonomy is being realized. In this case, the Goal has been activated, and this means the reality of the spectrum of Acceptance has now been comprehended to some meaningful degree. The 2nd Internal Monad is already a rather fragile process, with a great need for supply of security and value from caretakers, and when a child activates a Goal of Acceptance, then that supply is in even greater need.

     

    Bringing to her a sense of safety when she needs it is exactly what she needs, and upon securing that realization that she is safe, she will then begin her own methods for how to Accept or Be Accepted. Emphasizing her value to you, to herself, and to the world, can also help to expand the sense of self-esteem, which would then help her to move more confidently through the challenges of Acceptance.

     

    Your own history that lacked shyness is because of your igniting your Attitude first, which gave you a very early, quick, and clear perspective of what and who you were in relation to others, allowing for a more solid sense of self.


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    • Kasia
      By Kasia
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      ********
       
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      MEntity:
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      *** Responses ***
       
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      MEntity:
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      Now we are seeing honesty.
       
      We are seeing answers.
       
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      [Janet] That's fair.
       
      [Martha] agreed
       
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      [Martha] I don't think I'm totally damaged ? Just in some areas
       
      MEntity:
      That is "good news."
       
      StudentX's is direct and honest, but might be phrased as, "because I want to LET myself like me." She is already capable of liking herself, but may still be working out how to permit this and experience it.
       
      [StudentX] hmmm...:)
       
      [Maureen] Well -- I'm tired of "trying to Accept" -- everything -- ALL the time -- I just want to "Accept" -- I want it to be easier.
       
      MEntity:
      Geraldine's is honest and direct, as well, and may be phrased as, "because now I can."
       
      Maureen's is honest, though broad in implication, and might be phrased as, "because I want it to be okay with the fact that not everything or everyone is okay."
       
      [Maureen] Yes!
       
      MEntity:
      Combining our feedback with your own is, at least, food for thought and heart, as you proceed with your self-assessment.
       
      The next part of your self-assessment is to determine where you may be leading from in your Personality's set of Overleaves.
       
      Here are the questions that will help you determine this. One of the following questions would tend to stand out as dominant for you right now:
       
      Do I find that I am focused more on accomplishing, doing, and/or planning something? Do I find that I am more focused on trying to understand why or how I, and other people, see and experience the world right now? Do I find that I am more focused on resolving conflicts with others, keeping the peace, being intimate and available to someone, or others?  
      You may find that each of these resonate, because they speak to the three key elements of Personality, but one should tend to be the most dominant in your awareness at the moment's assessment.
       
      *** RESPONSES ***
       
      [Martha] one
       
      [Bobby] it use to be #1 but definitely #2 currently
       
      [Maureen] #3 is the highest with #2 running second.
       
      [GeraldineB] #2
       
      [Janet] I am uncertain. It's either ONE or TWO but I lean toward TWO.
       
      MEntity: Troy would reply that his is 2.
       
      [StudentX] #1, normally but also tend to #2
       
      MEntity:
      ONE reveals that you may be leading your life from the GOAL; TWO reveals that you may be leading your life from the ATTITUDE; and THREE reveals that you may be leading your life from the MODE.
       
      Understanding from where you are leading your life can reveal to you most-precisely where the hub of your Personality is at the moment, with the rest of your Personality traits revolving around that hub.
       
      Your revolving Personality traits are fed by that hub. All energy taken in from the life is collected by that hub and funneled to the rest of Personality.
       
      [GeraldineB] Question -- Since my mode is Observation, I don't see how that would ever be the chosen method for THREE
       
      [GeraldineB] I guess that's not a question as much as a comment needing some explanation
       
      MEntity:
      Geraldine, if you were to have found that your relationships were the dominant focus in the life, then Observation would have been leading your Personality, feeding the rest of your Personality. It would mean that you Clarity or Surveillance are affecting your relationships.
       
      Understanding where you might be in the poles of Observation would help you to understand those relationships.
       
      Do you wish to change your response to "3?"
       
      [GeraldineB] Previously, you've said that I tend to be overly in Surveillance, and it's true, relationships aren't the most important thing to me at this time
       
      [GeraldineB] No.
       
      [GeraldineB] I'm very much in 2
       
      [GeraldineB] I just couldn't even see how to apply Observation to the 3rd option ?
       
      MEntity:
      Relationships and relating are always important. One is always relating, and therefore, everyone as a Mode. One may say that relationships may not be the distraction at the moment, or not the focus, but they will always be important.
       
      Right now, there is a peaceful state for most of your relationships, so they are not the distraction, but this has not always been the case, and then Observation would have been leading.
       
      But we digress.
       
      [Maureen] actually Michael -- to me 2 and 3 are entwined.  It's hard to 3 without doing 2 as well.
       
      MEntity:
      It would be true that none of these can be done without the others being involved.
       
      However, one would be dominant in focus.
       
      For example, if 2 is in focus, then it would be that one is focusing on understanding or dealing with differences in perspective and philosophy as a way to help 1 and 3. If 3 were in dominance, it might mean finding commonalities, resolving distance, and emphasizing resonance as a way to help 2 and 1.
       
      We will put this a different way:
       
      ONE is "leading with one's Motivations and Actions, and/or aiming to understand another's Motivations and Actions"
      TWO is "leading with one's Philosophies and Perspectives, and/or aiming to understand another's Philosophies and Perspectives"
      THREE is "leading with one's Presence and Impact, and/or aiming to understand another's Presence and Impact"
       
      Obviously, Motivation, Action, Philosophy, Perspective, Presence, and Impact cannot be isolated, but there are tendencies for emphasis.
       
      [Maureen] It sounds like whatever is dominant in your Nine Needs might be showing up here.
       
      [Maureen] ...at this time
       
      MEntity:
      If one is leading by the Goal, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges regarding what you are trying to accomplish. If one is leading by the Attitude, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges to how you see the world and other people. If one is leading by the Mode, there would tend to be conflicts and challenges within your relationships and realms of intimacy.
       
      We realize the differentiations may be difficult to assess, but keep in mind that this is only for the sake of helping you understand the whole of you, not to choose one over the other as a means to cut out the other two.
       
      After our elaborations, do each of you still find your emphasis to be your original choice?
       
      *** RESPONSES ***
       
      [StudentX] Definitely, #1.
       
      [Bobby] yes, 2
       
      [Janet] At work, I am leading by the goal. Otherwise, I believe I am leading by attitude at present. I'd hope that work is not my life. I'm trying to keep work from being my primary focus anyhow.
       
      [GeraldineB] Yes, still 2 "at this time"
       
      [Martha] still 1
       
      [Maureen] It may be more with #2 -- but I keep on getting pulled into #3 -- and I would rather be doing #1
       
      MEntity: Janet, this is an important differentiation: those areas of the life that are necessary obligations are still important to consider, but would not be the defining factor for assessing your emphasis.
       
      [Janet] Agree, Michael, so I think I am primarily focused on #2.
       
      [Martha] I can see where I've spent a lot of time on 2 and 3, but I think 1 is in the forefront at the moment
       
      MEntity: Your emphasis is what you find yourself drawn to on your own, not what you find yourself obligated to address. For instance, one may be involved in projects at work where #1 is dominant, but underneath all of this, and persistent beyond the workplace, is the challenge of different perspectives and philosophies in emphasis.
       
      [GeraldineB] I was using the prism of my interest in TLE and the teachings as this is where my preference is showing up
       
      MEntity:
      There are no "right" answers in your self-assessment, and one can always assess again at another time for ever more insight, trying out different paths of assessment.
       
      The point of discerning which Overleaf is leading is to help put into context where your life is at the moment.
       
      This means that if you are having problems, troubles, obstacles, there are solutions to be found on what is determining your life right now.
       
      For instance, if Janet is looking to bring more confidence to her choices, and she has determined that Attitude is leading, then it is not about what she should or should not DO, but a matter of how she THINKS about what she is doing.
       
      If Maureen finds herself torn between the aim for emphasis on her Goal, but finds herself pulled into areas related to her MODE, but has determined that ATTITUDE is leading, then it is helpful to understand that the solutions (and problems) may be found in how she THINKS about what she is DOING and FEELING.
       
      [Maureen] that makes sense
       
      [Janet] I'm considering that. So since my attitude is Stoic, I should strive for more tranquility in what I'm thinking?
       
      MEntity:
      This may seem quite simplistic, but it is profound in its implications, and helps to hone directly into the heart, head, or body of where you are in your life right now.
       
      Using our associations of #1=Goal=DOING, #2=ATTITUDE=THINKING, and #3=MODE=FEELING, we suggest each of you now state your first assessment addressing the response to that first question.
       
      For example:
       
      Troy - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I feel misunderstood." Why do you feel misunderstood? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING."
       
      In your own words, share your own dialog of self-assessment in a similar way, if you wish.
       
      *** RESPONSES ***
       
      [Martha] I want to do something about what I think and feel about being damaged and needing healing (and I am!)
       
      [Janet] I want to understand myself because of what (how) I think about my ability to made good choices for myself.
       
      [Martha] and I want to look honestly to see if there's something I'm missing or avoiding that could help that process
       
      [StudentX] I'm conflicted about thinking I should be "doing more", in general, and accepting that what I do is enough.
       
      [GeraldineB] Ok -- using Michael's suggestion: "Because I can now" -- in combo with "I seek the Truth" -- Using #2 Attitude/Thinking -- Truth removes the "should" from Idealism -- it allows Idealism to be "all" as in coalescence
       
      MEntity: Janet - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I want to feel confident, and trust, in my choices again." Why do you not feel confidence and trust in your choices right now? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING."
       
      [Janet] Okay I'll buy that
       
      MEntity: We are not looking for answers, yet. Just assessments.
       
      [GeraldineB] hmmm . . .my brain's cat's cradle has knots in it
       
      MEntity:
      Geraldine - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I can." Why can you now? "Because of what I THINK about what I'm DOING and FEELING."
       
      These examples should help you to streamline your assessment to this point, then.
       
      [GeraldineB narrows her eyes at Michael] -- that seems like some philsophical circle thinking
       
      [Bobby]  you did suggest # 2  lol
       
      [Janet] I have to admit to some skepticism as well Geraldine, but I'm waiting for the application of the assessment.
       
      [Janet] But of course I may be THINKING about it all too much. ?
       
      [GeraldineB] LOL -- Obviously, I am too
       
      [GeraldineB] so, let's keep on going ?
       
      MEntity:
      We will address the confusion or "skepticism" here, before continuing.
       
      There is no circular philosophy here. It matters what you think about what you do and feel. It matters what you do about what you think and feel. It matters what you feel about what you do, or think. At various points in the life, one matters more than the others, or dominates and leads more than the others. Whatever dominates, defines the others.
       
      If you think your actions and feelings are useless, pointless, and making no difference, that is very different from thinking your actions and feelings are useful, purposeful, and make a difference.
       
      If you do not do anything with or about your feelings and thoughts, this is very different from doing something about and with your feelings and thoughts.
       
      [GeraldineB] Ok -- I get that -- makes sense
       
      MEntity:
      If your feelings about what you do and think are apathetic, frustrated, or angry, this is very different from the feelings of enthusiasm, eagerness, and excitement.
       
      Geraldine, what you THINK NOW makes a big difference in why you "can understand" more now. There was a time when what you thought actually kept you from being able to understand yourself and others.
       
      [GeraldineB] I totally agree with that -- I do understand that perception
       
      [GeraldineB] I've really been working on imprinting and conditioning
       
      MEntity: Janet, there have been other times in your life where the question of what to do was not so much of concern, because there were parameters in place that took the place of having to really "think" about how you felt or what you were "doing."
       
      [Janet] This is true. My lack of confidence now I think is associated with how wide open my choices may be.
       
      MEntity:
      As your consciousness has grown, so has your self-consciousness, and parameters are far more inclusive of what is important to you, not just what you should or can do.
       
      It is now not just a matter of CHOICE, but a matter of what you THINK about what you are choosing.
       
      [Janet] Agreed. I think I see where you're going now.
       
      MEntity: "Think," being key.
       
      [Janet] lol. It's a common verb for me.
       
      MEntity:
      Now, look to the Overleaf that is specific to this assessment.
       
      Each of you can now share that Overleaf that is relative to the leading Goal, Attitude, or Mode.
       
      *** RESPONSES ***
       
      [StudentX] Growth.
       
      [GeraldineB] Attitude - Idealism (sliding to Skepticism regularly)
       
      [Janet] Attitude is Stoic
       
      [Bobby] Pragmatist
       
      [Maureen] Realist
       
      [Martha] Flow
       
      MEntity:
      Keeping in mind that the aim is assessment, not solution (just yet), it may be clear to you where you are in your Doing, Thinking, or Feeling right now.
       
      Do not consider where you "slide."
       
      For StudentX: Is your DOING in Confusion, or is it Evolving? For Geraldine: is your THINKING in Naivety, or in Coalescence? For Janet: is your Thinking Resigned, or Tranquil? and so on.
       
      [Janet] My thinking is rarely resigned but not always tranquil.
       
      [StudentX] I believe that I strive a lot.
       
      [GeraldineB] My thinking is in coalescence
       
      [Martha] I don't think I'm in inertia
       
      [StudentX] Striving is growing.
       
      MEntity: Some Poles may need elaboration for clarity. We will offer some feedback.
       
      [StudentX] or evolving.
       
      [Martha] I think I need more on "suspension"
       
      MEntity: For instance, "resigned" in this context does not mean that you have stopped thinking, but rather that your Thoughts may have you resigned from the process of choice, instead of having you peaceful and tranquil about it.
       
      [Martha] Barbara's Taylor's chart says "free-flowing" for the pos pole of Flow, but I have "suspension" on my spreadsheet
       
      MEntity: Geraldine, it is true that your Thinking now tends to put the pieces together that allow you to understand much better now, but when you cannot understand, it can be because of naivety, which is when the pieces were expected to come together in a way that is failed or disappointed.
       
      [GeraldineB] yes -- a lifelong "work in progress" -- getting better
       
      MEntity: Martha, we find the more meaningful terms for the Poles of Flow to be Freedom and Inertia, or Momentum.
       
      [Martha] OK, I like those better
       
      [Martha] I can see where Momentum applies better than Inertia
       
      MEntity:
      The difference being: Freedom is much like having a paddle for the boat that is moving with the flow of life, as there may not be much that can be done about that flow, but the steering is all your choice. Inertia, or Momentum, is being without the paddle, forced to a narrow trajectory, or using the paddle to try to go against that flow.
       
      For the most part, this process of self-assessment can be quick and easy at any point in the life, and will often tend to lead to a realization of patterns in your tendencies for challenges and solutions.
       
      Again, this assessment is not for anything other than grabbing a quick snapshot of where you are with yourself.
       
      By now, in this practice of assessment, one would have been able to determine the motivation for the quick assessment and the basic context of the life or circumstance at the moment of assessment.
       
      Understanding yourself in this way can then help you to make more conscious choices regarding where you are, where you want to go, what you want to do, be, feel, etc.
       
      It can also free you from self-condemnation, and free you from the fear of judgments.
       
      For example:
       
      If Janet wants to understand herself because she wants to return to a sense of confidence in her choices, and reveals that the strength and weakness in her confidence is being dominated by her THINKING, Intellect, and current Philosophy, which is within the spectrum of her Attitude between Tranquility and Resignation, she now knows enough about herself to make more conscious (and confident) choices.
       
      What she does with this assessment is her choice, but she might realize that she has only resigned from her strength of confidence and trust in her choices, and and that it might just be time to surrender to, or find Tranquility in, the same trust and confidence that has always served her so well.
       
      Your assessment is not an answer or solution, but a basis for finding your answer or solution, if one is wanted or needed.
       
      If StudentX wants to understand herself because she wants to let herself like herself more, and she has assessed that it is what she is DOING that is leading her life right now, and that her Doing is either leading her into Confusion, or Evolving her, she can then pay more attention to what she is already DOING, or needs to do, as a means to support her permission to like herself more.
       
      Are each of you putting all of this together in a way that is useful and meaningful?
       
      [Maureen] yes
       
      [Martha] yes
       
      [StudentX] Yes
       
      [GeraldineB] Yes, very useful -- trying to reword it so I might pass it on
       
      [Janet] Is a possible solution -- to switch focus from thinking to doing or feeling or from doing to thinking or feeling -- as a way to move forward, if that seems appropriate to the situation?
       
      MEntity:
      All of what we share tends to be simple equations, even if elaborated upon in words, and "plugging in" the key elements can bring each of you to your own understanding, assessment, and solutions.
       
      Janet, for the purposes of Self-assessment, you want to understand what you are already using, or leading the life through, and this tends to be where the strength lies, even if it is also the source of weakness at the moment, however, it will always be important to flank that with the other two.
       
      If you are already leading the life by what you think about what you are doing or feeling, then shifting the emphasis to the doing will not change what you think about what you are doing.
       
      [Janet] I tend toward thinking always, which leads me to ask if our tendency is tied to our centering. I believe I am intellectually centered.
       
      MEntity: However, the key here would be that when you take action, or DO, that you actively choose what to THINK about that.
       
      [Janet] You have given a lot to think about today! ?
       
      MEntity:
      For instance, you may not know what is beyond the choices that must be made in the near future, but you know from experience that you CAN make those choices, and that is an important part of what you THINK about making choices.
       
      One's Centering and Part do tend to help bring the corresponding Overleaf into lead for the life.
       
      There are other rounds and paths of self-assessment that can be done, and we will share these over time. The one we shared today is the most immediately effective and far-reaching in its impact, if one were to truly comprehend and apply its beautiful simplicity.
       
      We will conclude here for today. Good day to each of you.
    • Kasia
      By Kasia
      OMW - Sep 16, 2012 - The Circuitry of Overleaves
       
      Channel: Troy Tolley
       
      (Note: The following Chart was referred to - the Overleaf Map.)
       
      [MEntity]
      Hello to each of you. We are here, now. We can begin discussion on the topic of choice.
       
      Though the Overleaves function as a whole, they do function in a similar way to how one might understand how the body works.
       
      The body works as a whole, but, depending upon circumstances, various parts are of emphasis, serving the whole.
       
      Understanding your body as a network of circuitry, all entwined in a way that is inseparable, but distinct in parts, is much the same way that your Overleaves can be understood.
       
      What we will discuss, first, is the broader types of circuitry, and then move more into your variations.
       
      We are using the term "circuitry" here for this workshop, but we do not mean to imply it as a permanent term within our teaching. It is simply a way to visualize this topic.
       
      We have shared a bit about contextual circuitry in previous exchanges with our students, and we will review those, first.
       
      The Personality always leads with one Overleaf, however swiftly the circuitry is ignited to cascade throughout the rest of the Overleaves. In various circumstances and contexts, various Overleaves will lead.
       
      Those with higher Frequencies may find their circuitry "faster" than those with lower Frequencies.
       
      CONTEXTUAL CIRCUITRY
       
      The Contextual Circuitries are: PROJECT, SOCIAL, INTIMACY, and MEDITATION.
       
      These are fairly straightforward in correlation:
       
      When one is working on a project, the Personality will tend to lead with the GOAL. When one is in a social setting, one tends to lead with the ATTITUDE. When one is seeking or nurturing Intimacy, one tends to lead with the MODE. When one is in any state of meditation, one tends to lead with the Centering.
       
      This is fairly easy to validate, as well.
       
      Consider these contexts in the workplace, for instance.
       
      When a project is the priority, one will tend to find one's Goal is challenged and/or fulfilled. When one is socializing, one may find that one's perceptions, philosophy, Attitude are challenged or highlighted. When one finds any eventual bonding, it is usually secured by the Mode.
       
      When pondering any of this, the Centering is activated.
       
      It will not matter what the project is, if your Goal is Acceptance, you may find that your capacity for Acceptance is challenged and/or fulfilled.
       
      It will not matter the social situation, you may find your Spiritualism challenged, revealed, and/or highlighted.
       
      And so on.
       
      Those are the Contextual Circuits.
       
      We will get to how the Body Type, Role, Casting, and Chief features get involved.
       
      Before we move on, do each of you find a sense of validation for these contexts? Do you have any questions?
       
      [Bobby] Yes, and not yet for me
       
      [ClaireC] Ditto
       
      [Maureen] yes -- I have a sense of validation for these contexts
       
      [MariLynn] moreorless...
       
      [GeraldineB] So, far those make pretty good sense -- especially Mode -- my relationships do tend to be more in observation mode, wait and see, few strong emotions (often in surveillance)
       
      [Janet] Yes, but I have trouble imagining how my Power mode works (or doesn't work) for Intimacy
       
      [MEntity] Janet, keep in mind that Power Mode is about Being Present. It is an Expressive Overleaf, not an action, so it will be about making your presence known in some way.
       
      [Janet] I keep forgetting that. Thanks.
       
      [MEntity] It is about owning your presence, being comfortable in your skin, "being yourself."
       
      [Janet] The names of the overleaves sometimes give first impressions that aren't necessarily accurate
       
      [MEntity] In other words, how you might evolve intimacy is in how much of "you" can be present, be permitted, allowed, without shame, silencing, etc.
       
      [Maureen] Observation for me -- when I am intimate means yes -- I can truly "see" you.
       
      [AnnH] So I would expect others to "see" me?
       
      [MEntity] Ann, was that a question about Observation?
       
      [MariLynn] thank you. well clarified. 
       
      [AnnH] Yes
       
      [MEntity]
      Then, yes. For Observation to foster intimacy, each is expected to be willing to "see," to truly see one another.
       
      As an aside, for another discussion, for intimacy to be fulfilling, it is key that one understand the Mode, as this gives insight into how you relate, and what you may expect of one who is growing closer to you.
       
      [MariLynn] I have a similar question-hard to see how aggression mode bodes well for intimacy!
       
      [MEntity]
      For you, MariLynn, Aggression is an exalted action Overleaf. Aggression evolves intimacy by way of constant change, movement, activity, progress. One must be able to "keep up."
       
      Intimacy is nearly impossible with someone who might wish to slow you down, tame you, or fault you for constant change of focus and directions.
       
      The Mode also describes what is expected of others, as well, as a means of relating.
       
      [MariLynn] yes! and it's been hard to find a partner who can, or wants to
       
      [MariLynn] omg, yes!! concur!!
       
      [MEntity]
      MariLynn, that is okay, or, at least, can be "okay." It is a "King" Overleaf, and is not intended to foster superficial intimacy and relationships.
       
      In addition to this for Observation, Sages inherently NEED to be seen, so Observation compounds the necessity for it.
       
      [MariLynn] is this also true to a large extent if someone is sage casted?
       
      [Diane_HB] I often notice myself using Observation in social situations, not necessarily Pragmatism.
       
      [MEntity] Diane, keep in mind that Observation Mode is not literal observation. You may find yourself observing others, but this is Pragmatic for you.
       
      [Diane_HB] I see
       
      [MEntity]
      Keep in mind that Pragmatism is a philosophy, a filter on reality.
       
      In a social situation, that will either manifest as being Practical, in your actual expression of self, in your exchanges, and in your evaluation of the worth of those exchanges, or as Dogma, stuck in routines that you have learned as a way to filter people out.
       
      [Janet] Clearly we need that future discussion about modes and intimacy.
       
      [Janet] And maybe one about social situations and attitudes.
       
      [MEntity]
      Dogma may show up as an inflexibility in what you find worth talking about, if you talk at all. Many with Pragmatism will be those who walk into a social situation, and then quietly, eventually, exit and wonder why the attempt was even made.
       
      Continuing.
       
      [Diane_HB] Thank you, that makes sense
       
      [MEntity] If there is a leading overleaf, then there would be a second, third, etc. in the circuit.
       
      [Bobby] Is this leading overleaf indicative of which one developed first in the life?
       
      [MEntity] Bobby, no. Centering is always developed first, in that case. It becomes the Meditative context of the life, then.
       
      [Bobby] I think what I may be referring to is for example, K's daughter, you've stated that a certain overleaf was turned on first...
       
      [MEntity] That would be one's core overleaf, and we will discuss that, next.
       
      [Bobby] lol... ok 🙂
       
      [Diane_HB] I thought the centering wasn't fixed until the 2nd IM, or are those different things?
       
      [MEntity]
      That would be correct, Diane, except that Centering is habitual, not fixed. The Overleaves are always present, even from birth, but until a fragment is approximately 7 years old, the Personality tends to be reflective of the caretakers, not the actual overleaves.
       
      However, Centering tends to be activated upon mobility, and habitual at the close of the 2nd Internal Monad.
       
      [Diane_HB] I see
       
      [MEntity]
      The sequence of the Contextual Circuit would tend to be dependent upon the expectations or intentions that are fueling or distracting the leading Overleaf.
       
      For instance, to fulfill a Project, the Goal will lead, but if that Project is one that is for the sake of Relating, then the Mode might be secondary; or if it requires a lot of discussion and sharing, the Attitude may be secondary. If it is done alone, it may be from the Meditative Centering.
       
      This secondary part of the circuit is vital for how the leading part is sustained in a Positive or Negative Pole.
       
      For example, if you are obligated to a Project, the Goal will still lead, and if you are not "into it," you may distract yourself with your Attitude, or more Social contexts.
       
      If you are evolving Intimacy, but your Projects are, ultimately, what you feel defines you, then you may be leading with your Mode in that relationship, but your Goal will draw you away from the intimacy.
       
      Circuitry is always shorted out by dishonesty.
       
      By "dishonesty" we mean it in a fairly clear way: that one is denying a truth by cloaking it.
       
      For example, if you are obligated to a Project, it may be true that you are not "into it," but distract yourself with social contexts as a way to avoid that truth. Honesty would either not do the project, or it would call upon the social context as support, not distraction.
       
      When a "circuit" is weakened, so to speak, the Chief Features come into play.
       
      Can each of you think of examples for yourself? Do you understand this path of circuitry?
       
      [Bobby] and others even 🙂
       
      [GeraldineB] I can remember instances, but I got a lot better quite a few years ago about not committing to something I had no intention of doing
       
      [AnnH] I think this happens constantly for me.
       
      [AnnH] Since just about everything is "supposed" to be a social context for me.
       
      [MariLynn] omg.....I DEFINITELY am in this right now. my 'project' is my obligation to be my father's FT caregiver
       
      [MariLynn] and, I am NOT into it.
       
      [Janet] Yes I see this. Work projects are often forced by circumstances rather than personal desires. But I can see this effect in past relationships as well.
       
      [Maureen] I would rather burn myself out -- rather than not complete something I`ve committed to -- which is another problem!
       
      [MariLynn] and, I can see this whole pattern as you've described....incl. the CF's have come up....esp. today
       
      [Diane_HB] I used to do this A LOT but have gotten better at being aware of it now.
       
      [MariLynn] ditto Maureen!
       
      [AnnH] From reading this, I realize in my 20s my goal was career and not so much social.
       
      [Maureen] ...which inherently shows a dishonesty with myself -- not good!
       
      [MariLynn] another ditto
       
      [MEntity] We are not speaking only to projects, but to relationships, social contexts, with secondary distractions or fuel, etc. We ask if you can see how this circuitry is at work in various contexts?
       
      [GeraldineB] I've learned to take the flack for saying "no"
       
      [Janet] Definitely can see it in all contexts.
       
      [MEntity] Even in your Meditative contexts. Can you not find your "center" because you are distracted with projects, relationships, etc?
       
      [ClaireC] Yes, Michael, and particularly how the CF's come in.

      [Janet] Yup.
      [Bobby] yes
      [MariLynn] yes
      [AnnH] yes
      [GeraldineB] yes
       
      [MEntity] The easiest way to determine if your circuitry, regardless of context, is weakened, is the question of whether you are DISTRACTED or ENTHUSIASTIC.
       
      [Janet] Oh! Good one! I see that right off.
       
      [MEntity] Enthusiastic here is not meant as prancing in pom poms and a perma-grin, but simply a "looking forward."
       
      [Maureen] yes! (sorry ...I couldn't find my centering!)

      [Maureen] 🙂

      [GeraldineB] and for Distracted, I would say caught up in the "should" or "ought to" mode of thinking

      [Maureen] (...that was a joke!)
       
      [MEntity] Maureen, we know.
       
      [Maureen] LOL

      [GeraldineB] LOL

      [AnnH] Yes, G. Very much.
       
      [MEntity] Geraldine, that is fair, but the "should" or "ought to" would not be the distraction; it would be what the distraction tried to avoid or ignore.
       
      [AnnH] Ah!

      [GeraldineB] which is . . .I don't want to do this and will PROCRASTINATE to NOT do it

      [AnnH] I often feel a lot of "I don't want to."

      [AnnH] Heh, psych
       
      [MEntity] There are plenty of "shoulds" and "ought to's" that are important and valid responsibilities, but distractions can make them difficult to fulfill.
       
      [Janet] I think of my life in terms of whether I'm bored or not bored. I see correlation to distracted or enthusiastic.
       
      [MEntity]
      That would be fair, Janet, as boredom is a lack of presence and connection to Essence. If Essence is put at a distance, boredom tends to be a result. Often, when one is not enthusiastic, one shuts down the resonance to Essence.
       
      We think that each of you see this clearly enough to benefit from the use of it in your choices and contexts, if you choose to apply this insight.
       
      We will add here that if one is looking at the Meditative Circuit, it is beneficial to understand that this is the first of the Overleaves to be activated and sustained, even if it is changeable and habitual. Centering will always go back to a more precognitive state of being, and therefore, is a context of innocence.
       
      In other words, when one seeks to find his "centering," or to meditate on his life, it is a return to innocence.
       
      Techniques and methods are helpful for the meditative state and circuitry, but this circuit is the context in every instance when you are alone.
       
      This is why aloneness is vital for the health of any Essence or Personality.
       
      Though aloneness is given a bad name in modern, highly-populated and dense societies, it is vital.
       
      Every time you are alone, you are leading with Centering, and that is supported or undermined by your distractions or enthusiasms.
       
      [AnnH] I am sorry to make this all about me, but I find that emotional centering makes it difficult to get things done when I don't "feel" like it.
       
      [MariLynn] I agree Ann
       
      [Diane_HB] I'm intellectually centered and I still can't get things done when I don't feel like it
       
      [MEntity]
      So to help heal or strengthen the circuitry of your Meditative context, your return to innocence, it can be as simple as fostering enthusiasm as the secondary circuit.
       
      This is a simple circuitry to address:
       
      For those who are Emotionally-Centered, there tends to be a necessity to foster or allow enthusiasm for Relationships, or The Mode, as the secondary circuit. For those who are Intellectually-Centered, there tends to be a necessity to foster or allow for Social and philosophical interactions, or the Attitude. For those who are Moving-Centered, there would tend to be a necessity for fostering enthusiasm, or allowing, for Projects to be fulfilled.
       
      In other words, the Emotionally-Centered can look at her Mode for how to relate to the self when alone. The Emotionally-Centered must be able to relate to herself as a means to be centered.
       
      [Maureen] What do you mean by: ``The Emotionally-Centered must be able to relate to herself as a means to be centered.`
       
      [MEntity] The Intellectually-Centered can look to her Attitude for how to interpret her life, how to interpret her place in society, as a means to return to her innocence and centered state.
       
      [Maureen] in general or something specific?
       
      [MEntity] Maureen, those who are emotionally-centered, when the Meditative circuit is weakened, can tend to wait or want for external inspiration to bring them back into a strengthened circuit of meditation and centeredness.
       
      [Maureen] I see
       
      [MEntity]
      They must find themselves to be inspiring again, to relate to themselves again.
       
      That is all that "relating" means: being inspired.
       
      [Maureen] ..and can look for distractions through other people?
       
      [MEntity]
      Maureen, yes, the Emotionally-Centered can often think that if the right relationship would come along, all would be well with the self. They are most prone to co-dependence.
       
      They can be distracted with relationships, which take them away from themselves, their centeredness, their innocence.
       
      When the Meditative circuit is weakened, it can greatly affect how the life is digested, how you see and experience yourself, and how divided or fractured you are within.
       
      Do each of you find resonance with this insight into these circuits, so far?
       
      [Bobby] yes

      [AnnH] Yes, sort of.

      [ClaireC] Very much so.

      [GeraldineB] yes -- it just doesn't "stick" with me -- it makes sense for the moment

      [Diane_HB] yes

      [Maureen] yes

      [AnnH] There's an intellectual resonance, but I can't really get a hold of it.

      [MariLynn] yes
       
      [MEntity]
      To help it "stick" with you, we suggest carrying with you the simple navigation between Distraction and Enthusiasm. The rest can be put into place after that.
       
      We have described contextual circuitry, which changes in any given situation, but there is also a Core Circuitry.

      CORE CIRCUITRY
       
      This is how your Overleaves network when not being led by a context.
       
      Though not an exact accuracy in all cases, it is easiest to assess your Core Overleaf by looking at how your various Essence and Overleaf patterns fall in the system.
       
      Looking at the "map" that Troy has shared with you, note where your known Overleaves fall.
       
      Include your Essence, Casting, Soul Age, and Level in your count.
       
      [MariLynn] do you mean what axis is most dominant?
       
      [MEntity]
      Your final assessment would be the count of how many fall into Inspiration, Expression, Action, or Assimilation.
       
      MariLynn, yes.
       
      [MariLynn] ok. that's what I thought
       
      [MEntity] Through a Sage, we can tend to be "wordier" than necessary, though we try to be succinct.
       
      [Bobby] lol

      [Maureen] LOL

      [Maureen] actually Michael -- that was pretty succinct!
       
      [MEntity]
      Do not include your Chief Negative Features.
       
      And only your Primary Centering.
       
      [GeraldineB] Michael was peeking again

      [Diane_HB] how about body types?
       
      [MEntity] Only the Primary
       
      [MariLynn] I didn't get the map but I have another chart....however what does old soul tend to fall into, ie. what axis?
       
      [MEntity]
      That would be Expression, MariLynn.
       
      Share your dominant Axis when you are ready. If you find that there is a tie among them, we will address that, too.
       
      [Maureen] I am 2-2-2-2- Michael

      [AnnH] Assimilation

      [Janet] Heavy on Expression axis; hardly any in the others (2-6-1-0)

      [Bobby] Action, followed by Inspiration
       
      [MEntity] We are unclear as to the numerical references, so we suggest either clarifying, or simply sharing the dominant, or tied, Axis or Axes.
       
      [Maureen] I am even across the board Michael

      [Diane_HB] I have 3 in Assimilation and 2 in all other axes

      [MariLynn] I am super dominant expression (5) 3 ins., 3 action and NO assimilation....no wonder I'm on disability!!

      [GeraldineB] I have big numbers 5s & 6s
       
      [MEntity] There should be 9 elements considered in your assessment: Role, Casting, Soul Age, Level, Goal, Mode, Attitude, Centering, Body Type.
       
      [Janet] Six of nine on Expression axis for me

      [AnnH] I have only 1 action

      [GeraldineB] I don't see anything for Level

      [MariLynn] with my body types, I am not sure which one is dominant. I feel almost equal in mars/merc.

      [GeraldineB] I have three and when Michael gives BTs, they're never in any particular order (or so I've seen them say)

      [MariLynn] yes
       
      [MEntity] For those with dominant Action, then the Goal is the Core Overleaf, and the Project Circuitry would tend to be fairly comfortable and appealing.
       
      [ClaireC] Can someone enlighten me on how to read this chart?

      [Maureen] OK -- Bingo!! I have a winner! 3 are in Action and 2, each, are in the other axis!

      [GeraldineB] I have three in 5 and three in 6
       
      [MEntity]
      For those with dominant Expression, then the Attitude is the Core Overleaf, and the Social Circuitry tends to be the most comfortable and appealing.
       
      For those with dominant Inspiration, then the Mode is the Core Overleaf, and Intimacy tends to come easily, or is most appealing as a circuitry.
       
      For those with dominant Assimilation, the Core Overleaf is Centering, and the Meditative Circuitry (aloneness) tends to be the most comfortable and appealing.
       
      If your elements are evenly distributed, you may tend to go with the default HUB of the Personality (which is different from the Core), and that is the Attitude.
       
      The HUB of the Personality is similar to the Brain being the hub of the body, but not necessarily the main emphasis of development for an individual.
       
      Understanding your Core Overleaf can help you to understand where most of your emphasis is on development.
       
      It helps you to understand the state of your moods, your health, and your energy levels.
       
      If your Core Overleaf is not fed enough, so to speak, the Personality starves, it begins to deteriorate in circuitry, which reflects in energy levels, health, and mood.
       
      So consider this, in light of your Core: if your core is Social, and your life is mostly aimed at Projects, you may find it impacts you in ways that are challenging. If your core is Intimacy, Relating, and your life is focused on Social or Philosophical circuits, you may find yourself challenged in mood, energy, health. And so on.
       
      [ClaireC] Michael, with 3 Inspiration and 3 Expression, which would be the Dominant Core?

      [GeraldineB] Ditto Claire's question -- I, too, am 3 Expression and 3 Inspiration
       
      [MEntity] Geraldine, we have stated that if your elements are evenly distributed, you may find that you default to the Hub (the Attitude).
       
      [GeraldineB] OK ... I misunderstood
       
      [MEntity]
      That would mean that it is quite important to develop and feed one's philosophies in the life.
       
      From this discussion, each of you can now see your Contextual Circuits, understand which Overleaf leads in those, and understand your secondary circuit as being a realm of distraction or as a fulfillment of enthusiasm. We have also shared your Core Overleaf, based on the distribution of elements that make up your Essence and Overleaves, and how this must be developed and tended to for your healthy mood, body, and energy.
       
      If one's health, mood, and energy levels may seem compromised, take a look at your Core Overleaf, and determine if you are "feeding" it well enough, tending to it, nurturing it, giving it the experiences it may naturally desire, etc.
       
      If one can move the Core Overleaf into some kind of strength of circuitry, it can make a great difference in the body, energy, and mood.
       
      [MariLynn] that's for sure!! I thought I *got* it....and then I think I started overthinking it
       
      [MEntity] We will conclude here for today. This is an introductory consideration for how the Overleaves work in more useful and meaningful ways beyond their basic definitions.
       
      [AnnH] What if we're lacking in one area?

      [Bobby] the final test will be given on the Causal and it will be open book(Akashic) har har har

      [Diane_HB] lol

      [MariLynn] lol Bobby!!
       
      [MEntity]
      Ann, where one tends to be lacking the most, one would tend to attract others who may have that area as dominant.
       
      Or one would tend to generate experiences that keep that circuitry alive in some way.
       
      (Note: In the editing process, I moved some lines around so they'd make better sense; also, there are a few that were duplicated -- again, to give clarity glb)
    • Kasia
      By Kasia
      OMW - May 19, 2012 - Accepting The Unacceptable
       
      Channel: Troy Tolley
       
      The Preliminary Set-up/Preparation
       
      [CocteauBoy] ONE. Write down three things that you find unacceptable. There may be more than that, but pick three very clear things that you find difficult to accept. Make sure these are things that you come across a lot, too. Not something abstract and horrific that is obviously, universally difficult to accept, like child sex rings (unless that is directly relevant to you), but something relevant to you.
       
      [CocteauBoy] Take a moment to do that. (Note: Use syntax of "I find it unacceptable that . . .")
       
      [CocteauBoy] "Unacceptable" here means "something or someone who prompts negative (as in, constricting) reactions in you in a way that you feel you have trouble recovering from."
       
      [CocteauBoy] That "something or someone" can be yourself, too.
       
      [CocteauBoy] TWO. Okay, so here's part two:
       
      [CocteauBoy] List one thing that is unacceptable to you in each of these categories: The World; Other People; Myself. However you want to interpret those. Sort your original list to see if it fills these, but if not, make sure you pick a new one for that category without one.
       
      [CocteauBoy] IF you did name names, you have to translate that into what it is that bothers you about that person.
       
      Note: This is ONE list of up to six items, but can be less due to overlapping items.
       
      Beginning of Channeled Michael
       
      [MEntity] Keeping your list in mind, we will share with you what we think might be helpful for "accepting the unacceptable," what it means to accept, what the path is to true acceptance, and whether it is always the valid choice to make.
       
      [MEntity] To begin any discussion on Acceptance, we must discuss the elements involved with Acceptance.
       
      [MEntity] Acceptance is a Higher Intellectual function. It is the "highest" functioning Center of the body, and is the gateway for Essence to move into the high planes over its evolution and return to Tao.
       
      [MEntity] However, True Agape, or True Acceptance, requires all elements, or Centers (or Chakras) to be functioning in the Positive Poles for that state to be achieved.
       
      [MEntity] This is nearly impossible while Human, or while in a Body. There is almost always a Center teetering toward the Negative Pole, even on the best of days, as there is a spectrum involved in the living of life, and there is no need for one to exist only in the Positive Poles. The Negative Poles are important and useful.
       
      [MEntity] This is why we encourage the aim for Agape, but we also know that it is rare to experience it. To truly Love is not what most know as Love, or Agape.
       
      [MEntity] However, the aim for Agape is a valid aim, even if rare in reaching it, because the aim for Agape means that every single layer of your life is then aiming higher, aiming for wholeness, aiming for health, aiming for prosperity, aiming for whatever has been deemed beneficial. That single aim affects everything.
       
      [MEntity] Aiming toward Agape ensures that every aspect of you, both the most "negative" and the most "positive" are aiming in the same direction, and including everything known and unknown in the life.
       
      [MEntity] Aiming for Agape is also the most effortless direction to aim, despite the rarity and difficulty of experiencing it at the highest levels. Agape is the gravity that will take you "home."
       
      [MEntity] It is our most natural state.
       
      [MEntity] But it is also the most buried and remote in our consciousness so that we must work through the layers to unfurl it, so to speak.
       
      [Maureen] Michael -- wouldn't Agape (Acceptance) be associated with the Higher Emotional Center rather than the Higher intellectual? Am I missing something?
       
      [MEntity] In our system, it is an Cardinal, Expressive Overleaf that resonates to the Higher Intellectual Center, or Truth. There is a reason you may find resonance with the Emotional element, which what we will speak to now.
       
      [MEntity] Love is the Highest Truth.
       
      [MEntity] Regardless of one's Goal and overleaves, Acceptance will still be a part of the life. It may not be emphasized as the challenge, but it will be a part of the life. In the same way that one will grow, even if Growth is not the Goal, so will one Accept, even if that is not the emphasis.
       
      [MEntity] So what we will do today is speak to the most pervasive element involved in the hurdle to Acceptance.
       
      [MEntity] For most, this would be the Emotional "element" or the Emotional Center.
       
      [MEntity] This is because one can know the truth of something or someone and still not Love, or not Accept, because of the Emotional Centering's pull into Sentimentality vs Perception.
       
      [MEntity] The Intellect can often grasp the truth of something while the Emotions cannot make sense of it. We think each of you know of this experience.
       
      [MEntity] This is because the Intellect, when functioning properly, simplfies, reduces, and synopsizes events, people, and self so that the bare bones or structures are all that are necessary for understanding and accepting. The rest is unnecessary.
       
      [MEntity] The Intellectual Centers, both Lower and Higher, can sort through everything to find that structure or core and this is known as Insight and Truth, when they are in the positive poles.
       
      [MEntity] This is not to say that the Intellect is immune to issues, but in the context of our workshop today regarding "accepting the unacceptable," the Intellect can often already be on board, while the Emotions are not in any mood to accept what the Intellect has accepted.
       
      [MEntity] This is because the Intellects use a linear language, or linear understanding, such as words, for its processing. The Emotions have no words, nothing linear, and its language is highly symbolic.
       
      [MEntity] This world of symbolism is highly effective when it is in the Positive Pole of Perception. This is the capacity for one to "know" something based upon perceiving, and bypassing all logic or intellect. It is holistic in its processing, so that all components or aspects of a situation, person, or self are comprehended in a moment.
       
      [MEntity] In the same way that a swatch of color can convey much more than a single English letter, so can Emotions convey whole concepts. The world of dreams is an Emotional world in that way. The Astral Plane, or Emotional Plane, is the same.
       
      [MEntity] Perception is the immediate comprehension of that symbolic language.
       
      [MEntity] It is also the allowance for shift in that symbolic language.
       
      [MEntity] All language is dynamic, and if not allowed for nuances and variations, it can become useless and ineffective.
       
      [MEntity] Sentimentality, then, is the attachment to symbols, or the attachment to symbols, or the attachment of meaning to symbols.
       
      [MEntity] As a simplistic example, the color RED is often immediately meaningful in one way or another, such as meaning STOP, or HALT, AGITATION, EXCITEMENT or WARNING, or it may mean PASSION, LOVE, ANGER, or it may mean REWARD, such as the red of harvested fruits, etc.
       
      [MEntity] For one to truly grasp the meaning of a symbol, the larger context must be considered.
       
      [MEntity] When walking through a red apple orchard, one does not see STOP, WARNING, AGITATION, as one might see on a road with many Stop Signs, and one does not see PASSION, INTIMACY, LOVE, as one might find while walking through a red rose garden, etc.
       
      [MEntity] You would see apples. Fruit. Harvesting, Reward.
       
      [MEntity] So while the color has powerful meaning in itself, the context clarifies that meaning.
       
      [MEntity] But when Sentimentality becomes involved, one begins to attach rigid meaning to the symbols of life.
       
      [MEntity] So your meaning of Red will mean RED in any circumstance.
       
      [MEntity] This is what happens when you have come across the unacceptable. You are seeing your Red, and its meaning, alone.
       
      [MEntity] You have turned the event, person, or aspect of yourself into a symbol that has no room for new meaning.
       
      [MEntity] Or for alternative meaning, at least.
       
      [MEntity] So the greatest pitfall in your efforts toward increasing Love in your life tends to be where you have locked down the symbolic meaning of events, people, or self in a way that you feel justified in keeping locked down.
       
      [MEntity] Before we move on, is everyone following this, and does this ring valid for you? Do you have any questions so far?
       
      [Janet] I think it rings true. I am trying to figure how it applies to some items on my list.
       
      [Maureen] Great so far Michael
       
      [Bobby] yes
       
      [MEntity] Your lists will come in handy as we continue.
       
      [GeraldineB] I had a "bingo!" on the difference between intellectual or linear and emotional symbolism being perception -- will need to chew on it
       
      [MEntity] We will continue now.
       
      [MEntity] For greater understanding of your Emotional navigation, imagine that it is your way of moving about in life with no eyes.
       
      [MEntity] Your Emotions, then, need to reach out, to touch, to feel. This is simplistic, but effective in making our point.
       
      [MEntity] When you feel something that "feels good," it is an immediate knowing that it feels good, and it is often embraced. When you feel something that does not feel good, it is an immediate knowing that it may be dangerous and you might push it away.
       
      [MEntity] Knowing that something feels good, or not, is not the truth, though.
       
      [MEntity] The fur of a Grizzly bear may feel amazing, but it will not keep your skull from being chewed. The burn on your hand from the hot skillet while you cooked has no bearing on the quality of the meal you will consume after.
       
      [MEntity] In short: YOUR FEELINGS ARE NEVER THE TRUTH.
       
      [MEntity] Or rather: never the whole truth.
       
      [MEntity] Your feelings are what you experience ABOUT the truth, but they are not the truth.
       
      [MEntity] Consider any important relationship in your life: one day, you may not feel close at all, and another day, you cannot imagine your life without that person. Your feelings change. They are not the same thing as the truth.
       
      [MEntity] Good days, bad days, good relationships, bad relationships, are determined by your feelings about those things, not by those things, themselves.
       
      [MEntity] This is why one person can find such agitation with something or someone, but another person finds no charge at all, because the symbols are different, and the feelings generated are different.
       
      [MEntity] The actual situation can be exactly the same, but the feelings vary wildly.
       
      [MEntity] This is also why "the truth" is often so slippery, because many are referring only to their feelings as a basis for what is true, and not the truth, itself.
       
      [MEntity] What we are sharing with you today is not just about your list, but about your list as it reflects you. Because our discussion with you today is about the ultimate aim: Self-Love. Everything that is experienced internally or externally in terms of being "unacceptable," are clues as to where and how you will want to aim your capacity for Self-Love.
       
      [MEntity] We realize it has come to be cliche, that "one can only love another if one has learned to love oneself," but we will clarify this as being true that one can only love or accept another to the extent that one can love or accept oneself. The extent to which one is incapable of loving oneself can often be revealed in those areas where one cannot accept.
       
      [MEntity] So we will state here that Self-Love is built upon one's capacity for accepting all of the fluctuations in the Emotions that make up how you know yourself at any given moment.
       
      [MEntity] In other words, it is vital that you allow room for ALL of you.
       
      DEFINITIONS
       
      [MEntity] We will go further here to expand on some terms:
       
      [MEntity] Perception might be defined as that part of you that can transcend the confines of Space, Time, and Logic to grasp the essential and nuanced nature of the self, another person, experience, or event.
       
      [MEntity] Sentimentality might be defined as that part of you that remains attached to the definitions already determined for yourself, another person, experience, or event, often determined only by your own past.
       
      [MEntity[ Perception is based in a state of NOW, if you will, while Sentimentality is rooted in comparisons that takes one outside of Now. For instance, Perception knows that if you are sad right now, it is okay because another "now" comes along, and you know you are not always sad. Sentimentality compares  sadness to happiness and seeks to escape Now by longing for the past when happy,  or the hope for a future when happy again.
       
      [MEntity] It is not in the comparisons that there can be trouble, but in use of comparison as the distraction away from the self, relationship, experience, or event.
       
      [MEntity] Perception allows you to avoid being trapped by symbolism. It knows that just because you are feeling sad, that it does not mean you are sad. You are experiencing Sadness. That is all. You also know that when you are Happy, it is not permanent; you will still have bad days. Perception "knows" this.
       
      [MEntity] You are incarnating for the point of Being, and that means you would naturally include a spectrum of Being, not one end or the other, if there is such a thing.
       
      [MEntity] To that end, whatever you feel, is a PART of who you are, right now. It is not the entirety of who you are. It is not the truth of who you are.
       
      [MEntity] And so it is that what you find unacceptable is only a PART of whatever is unacceptable. It is not the truth, nor is it the entirety of that which is unacceptable.
       
      [MEntity] There is so much more.
       
      [MEntity] If you wish to accept that which is unacceptable, then, you must start with yourself in that experience, and with your feelings in that experience, and know that you cannot accept the unacceptable until you allow yourself NOT to accept it.
       
      [MEntity] Accepting the unacceptable starts with accepting your lack of capacity to accept.
       
      [MEntity] This irony is a quick short-circuiting of the wheel that can perpetuate terrible feelings in unacceptability.
       
      [MEntity] When you accept your own lack of capacity to accept, your energy can shift toward expansion, rather than defense.
       
      [Maureen] Acceptance of your own Un-Acceptance leads to "eventual" Acceptance?
       
      [GeraldineB] Well, at least to your perception of your unacceptance
       
      [Maureen] yes
       
      [JanaK] because in that you are accepting yourself (not accepting)
       
      [GeraldineB falls off her chair howling with laughter]
       
      [JanaK] lol
       
      [Maureen] :)
       
      [MEntity] Yes, but naturally, not magically.
       
      [MEntity] This is because at the heart of this element where acceptability can get trapped is the capacity for compassion and empathy, and one must generate compassion and empathy for the self before extending that to another.
       
      [Bobby] This rings true to some degree like the mode of passion does. I see things that I don't like/accept but I don't have to take them personally.
       
      [MEntity] For example, many who suffer loss may focus on trying to accept that loss, but the key is not in aiming toward accepting the loss, but in aiming toward accepting your struggle to accept the loss. This may seem a fine line, but it is not.
       
      [MEntity] This goes back to the symbolism of the Emotional Center.
       
      [MEntity] The Emotional Center, when Sentimental, cannot differentiate very well between the self and the symbol, and it can cause great agitation, grief, and reaction if the symbols do not behave within the confines of how they have been defined.
       
      [MEntity] In other words, The World should behave in certain ways because that is how you determined your world should be. Other People should behave in certain ways because this is how you presume you will show up for others. You must, yourself, behave in certain ways that fulfill your symbolic identity.
       
      [Maureen] It can get really tricky
       
      [MEntity] But in the same way that you will have good days and bad days and ALL of those are yours, so will there be "good" people and "bad" people, but they are your people. There will be challenging people and harmonious people, because you are those things, as well. There is a spectrum, not a fence to cross, or to herd everyone over.
       
      [MEntity] What tends to perpetuate a lack of acceptability is the lack of effort to Be Present.
       
      [MEntity] This is because it is considered a threat to the self if the symbol is given any validity, especially if that symbol is behaving outside of what you have deemed acceptable.
       
      [MEntity] For instance, to Be Present to the fact that there will be people at war, even if you prefer Peace, means that you feel you would have to, essentially, accept war.
       
      [MEntity] But the key here is in accepting that there will be people at war, not in accepting war, itself.
       
      [MEntity] There will be people behaving badly around you, based on your standards, and they will exist with or without your accepting them.
       
      [MEntity] To Be Present, however, does not mean you have to remain in an uncomfortable or painful situation, but that you accept that there are people who are okay with what you are not, and that you have the right and the capacity to choose not to be a part of it.
       
      [Janet] Ok, now I think I'm getting it.
       
      [MEntity] To Be Present simply means that you bring your consciousness to the moment and can make a choice from there. Being Present is a first step toward Intimacy, and is a form of it, in itself.
       
      [MEntity] And Intimacy is the first step toward Essence Recognition, which is often the key to freeing one another from the symbols that bind you.
       
      [MEntity] Essence Recognition is the stripping away of all symbols, including the current body and Personality, to resonate with the Essence of another. It is the truth. The whole truth. It is Love.
       
      [MEntity] Keeping in mind that Love, and Essence are spectrums, so that Essence Recognition is inclusive of that spectrum. The unacceptable is included. And this, paradoxically, generates a kind of acceptance that can undo any reactionary cycles of defense that were previously in place against the unacceptable.
       
      [MEntity] For example:
       
      [MEntity] We have said this before, but one does not have to remain in a burning house to learn how to love it.
       
      [MEntity] Being Present means being able to make the choice to step outside of the danger or impact that can very well harm you. It is not a denial, avoidance, reaction, rejection, or a confusion between the house and the fire.
       
      [MEntity] The Fire is a PART of the experience of the House, but is not the entirety of the House.
       
      [MEntity] Making the choice not to burn with the house is not the same thing as not accepting the fire, or not accepting the house.
       
      [MEntity] You accept that you wish not to burn, but that the fire exists, and that the house is being transformed by it. This is acceptance.
       
      [MEntity] It is allowing room for all of these symbols to dance, to move, to change, to interact, and to BE. Being is not defined by predetermined meaning, but by context, creativity, and evolution.
       
      [MEntity] When you look at your list of unacceptable things, then, these are areas of your life looking for new meaning, new freedom, new perceptions.
       
      [MEntity] These are your blind spots.
       
      [MEntity] These are the things you have touched and determined are "bad" only because of how they felt in the dark, so to speak.
       
      [MEntity] Your feelings matter, but they are not the whole truth. Your life reflects you, but it reflects everything, not just you. It is the whole truth, not just the pretty parts.
       
      [MEntity] Bring our consciousness to the equation, make your choices in how to navigate these difficult challenges, but make room for more than the symbolic conclusions.
       
      [MEntity] To put the final empowerment into place for accepting the unacceptable, we will say that if you still deem something unacceptable, it will be helpful for you to know that you are right. You will always be right. No one can take that away from you. No matter how awful you have determined something to be, or how wonderful, you are right. Because it is your experience.
       
      [MEntity] And when you change your mind, or change your heart, you will be right again then, too.
       
      [MEntity] Giving yourself that freedom to be right can help you to remove the necessity for recruiting others to support your condemnation of a symbol, or to justify your not being accepting of something or something.
       
      [MEntity] If you are already right, then the only thing left to do is to navigate. But as soon as you bring in your presence, your consciousness, your navigation begins to include a greater context, and when a greater context is included, your ideas of "right" begin to expand and become more inclusive. It is not a sad day when you realize that "everyone is right."
       
      QUESTIONS and REMARKS
       
      [MEntity] Before we conclude with a clear synopsis, and offer suggestions for how to move the unacceptable into being acceptable, we will take your questions about what has been shared, so far.
       
      [MEntity] If that is a possibility, and your choice, of course. Acceptance is not dependent upon what is possible, or in what you should do, or not do, but in your capacity to allow for that which IS, even as it may be compared to what it should be, or was.
       
      [MEntity] Acceptance is not apathy.
       
      [Janet] That's what I was getting to. Thanks.
       
      [Bobby] I would add the question: why do we care so much what others think about things we either do or don't do?
       
      [MEntity] For example, we know our channel is highly passionate about Animal Rights, and this has made his list of "unacceptable" things in The World. Accepting that there are violations and suffering imposed upon the innocent is not the same thing as resigning from making a difference. The acceptance removes the reactionary, defensive element, and allows for conscious choices, which are far more effective, such as through education and exemplifying alternatives.
       
      [Janet] That's understandable. Mine was Fox News. And fear-based politics in general.
       
      [MEntity] Accepting that this "news" exists does not mean that it is your news, or that it is the truth about the world. It simply means that you allow room for it for those who want it and need it. They want to be as right as you do.
       
      [Janet] And I accept that. 🙂
       
      [MEntity] Accepting that it exists does not mean resigning from countering it, or making known a more fact-based resources.
       
      [MEntity] It simply means that it no longer triggers you, causes defense, or reactionary divisions that cannot allow for it to exist. This is a part of the world that does not reflect you in any obvious way, but we can say that its spectrum between gullibility and some feverish impulses to condemn may be familiar from within yourself.
       
      [Janet] Yes, I am finding that most things that set me off have some connection to things I do myself.
       
      [MEntity] This is what we meant by the Emotions feeling the surface and rejecting the content. On the surface, this prickly subject is obviously unappealing and has no bearing, but beneath that is the innocence that you feel is exploited, and that you wish to heal from your own past.
       
      [MEntity] This is often the core of most of what is unacceptable when it comes to the Older Soul: the healing of, and return to, Innocence.
       
      [Maureen] My husband doesn’t do the dishes – “when” I want him to. This seems so silly -- but it drives me crazy.
       
      [JanaK] you have just spoken for millions of people
       
      [MEntity] The Old Soul is the Infant Soul, exalted. The tantrums are more refined and justified, but that which "drives one crazy" is often used as permission for tantrums.
       
      [MEntity] The unacceptable is often built from the need To Be Right, and is a rejection of Innocence in some way, both of which need serious attention and healing in most cases.
       
      [MEntity] Your husband is Innocent. It is simply not as important to him as it is to you. You have blurred him into your symbolism for who you are, and it is not his job to symbolize you.
       
      [Maureen] I can see that - LOL
       
      [MEntity] Accepting that his priority for doing dishes is different from yours does not mean that you lose your own, but that you now have a choice: allow him to do so on his own, or do it when you want to do it. No one is out to hurt the other by being oneself.
       
      [Maureen] So funny -- he's told me as much Michael
       
      SUGGESTIONS
       
      [MEntity] Here are some suggestions for each of you to use in your days and weeks ahead when working with the unacceptable:
       
      [MEntity] Beyond bringing your own Presence into the equation, practice "realizing" the presence of others. In other words, return them to being people, to being real, to having their own pasts, their own ideals, their own validity; return them back to themselves. Remind yourself that this person cares about something, too. It may not be the same as you, but he or she cares. Remember that this person tries to love someone, too, and that he or she struggles with letting himself or herself be loved.
       
      [MEntity] Remember that you feel the way you do because you care, too. And because you try to love, and to be loved, as well. You matter. They matter. So return them from the land of symbolism and give them back to themselves, as you must do for parts of yourself, too.
       
      [MEntity] This helps return your Perception back to a bigger picture, not just the tunnel-vision of reaction and condemnation.
       
      [MEntity] Another suggestion is to extend this "realizing" into what we call "practicing vividry."
       
      [MEntity] This is simply the enhancement of the moment of experience into a moment of awe.
       
      [MEntity] It will not matter what you are doing, or where, but it is the sudden realization that you are present, that your skin exists, that there is light on your face, that there are textures touching you, and that there is a temperature, and that you have a face that has a tongue and mouth and eyes, and that your hands and arms exist, etc. It is the filling up of everything within "reach" with your conscious awareness.
       
      [MEntity] Bringing you and your environment to life through vividry is a powerful way of comprehending just how sleepy you may get in your movement through your days.
       
      [MEntity] One need not be consciously and constantly aware like this at all times, of course, but for you to be able to call upon that at any moment is vital for moving your into Self-Love and acceptance of others.
       
      [MEntity] This is because one can have a very difficult time accepting the unacceptable if one is asleep, as it is much like being in a dream where one feels that the symbols happen without rhyme or reason, and that there is not much one can do but to report on them. Waking up changes this.
       
      [MEntity] And finally, if you were to do this "waking up" before going to bed at night, it can carry over into your days in even more natural ways. Practicing Vividry just before retiring into sleep can help remind you that your day was a specrum that supported everything that is You.
       
      [MEntity] That would include the unacceptable.
       
      [MEntity] Extend this vividry to beyond the moment so that there is a realization that your bed, your linens, your home, and everything in it came from "somewhere," and that a lot of effort and creativity and generosity and even pain and suffering went into all that is a part of your days that you take for granted.
       
      [MEntity] You will not know what went into everything that got to your home tonight, but it is there now, and it is a part of your days, your nights, your comforts, your challenges, etc.
       
      [MEntity] Accepting that these things are in your home does not mean that you cannot deal with them effectively, help transform them, or even remove them.
       
      [MEntity] And that is how the unacceptable is in your life, as well. It is a part of the package of what your life is, and accepting that does not mean that you cannot deal with them effectively, help transform them, or remove them.
       
      [MEntity] We do have much more to say on this topic, of course, but we think this is a start in helping each of you to, at least, soften the effects of the unacceptable, and then to begin the efforts of accepting from there, all the while aiming for Agape and Self-Love.
       
      [MEntity] We must conclude here for now.
       
      [MEntity] Good day to each of you.
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