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  1. KurtisM

    AGGRESSION

    *This is a summarized description using my own interpreted understandings and a mix of many quotes from Michael that can be read+studied in the source material below. Feel free to check in for updates, as more information may be gathered on this topic from newer sessions. AGGRESSION MODE One in Aggression relates to others by actively initiating many directions of focus and being able to manage all those cohesively. Aggression is all about igniting something. Aggression grows intimacy through how well you “keep up” with him, without faulting/taming/slowing him down for his constant changes of focus+direction, or movement+activity, and it’s important for Aggression Mode to be able to manage and organize his experiences. When in -Belligerence, he tries to plow forward through the use of force- often for self-satisfying purposes- and at the expense of the impact of his actions on those around. He simply flails about from one interest, project, or relationship to the next when the last grows tedious/difficult or in an attempt to cater to and cover all bases at once(all parts involved in a direction). Belligerence over-thinks, loses patience and only focuses on the limitations of time. It’s much like the theatrical hands of a loud talker- there may be a purpose, but no co-ordination- only constant distraction. To move from Belligerence to Dynamism, Aggression must Persist. While this might just mean "keep trying", and focusing action into a decision or next step- picking things back up, so to speak- Aggression also benefits from initiating new perspectives/directions that sustain enthusiasm for doing something- such as letting a daunting project become a mini-project part of a larger one, or revitalizing a stale relationship by doing something new in it. Both are also forms of Persistence. When in +Dynamism, he becomes aware of all that his actions initiate, able to manage(direct) those forces in action together. All parts of a relationship/scenario are juggled cohesively: much like what happens when conducting a symphony. He is aware of how it all plays together: aware of its dynamics. Aggression is most attracted to your entirety- to what's become of you through your experiences. He's most wounded when you/he is no longer whole, but fragmented, divided and scattered within and without; to heal, it helps him to recover a sense of integrity, and bring all the parts of himself back together, integrally, so that they function to return a sense of initiative+direction. ------ SOURCE MATERIAL: Healing Relationships- Aggression~ Totality vs Divided Modes and Goals- Aggression~ Create Consistency Medium of Attraction- Aggression~ What's Become of it All, Totality, Dynamics, Causal Truth How Aggression evolves Intimacy Aggression & Persistence Member: Maureen- Father in Aggression
  2. April 11, 2010 Troy Tolley, Channel Modes [MEntity] Hello to each of you. We are here. We understand the subject to be that of the Mode, which is part of our Overleaf System. We have elaborated upon this through Troy in the past, so we will do our best to expand upon that, or lend insight from other angles. We will do so in a way that should allow for each exchange to stand on their own, but add to one another. First, we will share that each of the Overleaves tend to be showcased, presented, emphasized, brought to the forefront of a Personality in different contexts. Depending on the context, a specific Overleaf is leading the Personality for that context. For instance, in SOCIAL situations, the Attitude is the most prominent Overleaf that is used for leading the Personality. In RELATIONSHIPS, it is the Mode. We realize that Social interaction may be consider variations on “relationships,” but we differentiate these by the level of intimacy that is intended or sought for exchange. In “Social” situations, we speak of the level of interaction that emphasizes “getting along” over “getting intimate.” Social situations seek commonalities in viewpoints, or challenges to viewpoints. In Social situations the commonality or challenge is primarily in the realm of philosophies, expression, and information exchange. In “relationships” the commonality or challenge is primarily in the realm of intimacy, resonance, meaning, emotions. The Attitude has a voice. The Mode is mute. The Mode can only “feel,” intuit, “know,” perceive, etc. The Mode bypasses logic in its support or challenge to intimacy. When in groups beyond 2, it is likely that the Attitude is at the forefront for interaction. But even within a group, if conversation or exchange moves to a more ordinal exchange, a more intimate exchange, then the Mode kicks in, so to speak. It is not necessarily the number within the group that is the determining factor, but how one is focusing upon those within the group. If there is a sense of each individual, then the Mode is probably emphasized, but if the group acts as its own entity, and recognition of individuals is rather fleeting, it is most likely the Attitude interacting. The Mode requires a Connection at the very least, and full-blown Resonance at its best. In fact, it could be said that those terms may be used as Negative and Positive poles for the Term “Mode.” Connection would be an anticipated, speculated commonality, while Resonance would be valid, mutual recognition of commonalities. For the most part, the difference between Connection and Resonance is the difference in the degree of space and time involved. “We have a Connection” is often the anticipated, speculated (and hopeful) initiation of a relationship, whereas Resonance is validated from experience and exploration, which requires space (as in, physical interaction) and time (as in, digestion of experiences). Keeping in mind that one can RELATE to anything from an object to an intention to an animal to a person to a soul and all the way to Tao, it will be helpful to understand the spectrum between Connection and Resonance. We spoke of the comparison of the Attitude and Mode only as a means to exemplify the differences, but for no other reason. In our system, the Mode not only describes how one relates to others, but within the Personality it describes how one relates to the motivation for the lifetime as described by the Goal. Understanding your Mode can help you grasp the challenges or the commonalities that you may feel about your Goal for the lifetime. What we will do is speak briefly about each Mode in terms of how it works within the Personality, as opposed to how each works in relationships with other fragments, which we have already covered in a previous exchange. More specifically, we will speak about how each Mode relates to the Goal in terms of commonality and challenge. RESERVE MODE If one has Reserve Mode, this would most likely show up as one who must have the whole picture, the history, the point, and see that there is Meaning to the pursuit of the Goal. When it is seen that there is Meaning, then the support for the Goal tends to be incremental and specific, accumulating a pattern of Meaning. When Meaning cannot be anticipated or seen as possible, then the Goal tends to fall into the negative pole, and internal struggles begin. PASSION MODE If one has Passion Mode, this would most likely show up as one who feels he or she is already inside the whole picture, is creating history, is creating the point, and seeks to create Meaning from the pursuit of the Goal. When Passion Mode can create Meaning from experience, there is full support for the Goal with no inhibition and the Goal acts as food for the soul. When Passion Mode loses its capacity for creating Meaning, then the Goal falls into its negative poles and experience begins to be overwhelming, empty, and numbing. It could also be said that if Reserve Mode sees others in itself, it can experience Meaning; if Passion can see itself in others, it can create Meaning. CAUTION MODE If one has Caution Mode, this would most likely show up as one who REVEALS oneself at a personal pace, and must clarify Intention behind the pursuit of the Goal. When Intention is clarified behind the pursuit of the Goal, then support for the Goal tends to be a process of revelation, building upon each revelation. When Intention is lost or lacking in clarity, the Goal can tend to fall into the negative pole, and the personality recoils. POWER MODE If one has Power Mode, this would most likely show up as one who DISPLAYS oneself as one is at the moment, and must PROVE Intentions behind the pursuit of the Goal. When Intention is proven behind the pursuit of the Goal, then the support for the Goal tends to be a process of Sharing, building upon the sense of presence that sharing brings with the pursuit of the Goal. If Intention cannot be proven, the Goal can fall into the negative poles and the Personality can begin to feel diminished, invisible, and insignificant. PERSEVERANCE MODE If one has Perseverance Mode, this would most likely show up as one who seeks CONSISTENCY in the pursuit of the Goal, with completion of experiences an important element of that Consistency. When Consistency cannot be found, the Goal can fall into the negative pole, and the Personality can begin to resist all new experiences. When Consistency is found, the support for the Goal tends to be in terms of submersion and completion. AGGRESSION MODE If one has Aggression Mode, this would most likely show up as one who creates Consistency as part of the pursuit of the Goal, with management of experiences being an important element to that process of creating Consistency. If Consistency can be created, then support for the Goal tends to be in terms of Managing and Organizing experiences as a form of navigation. If Consistency is found to be incapable of being created, then the Goal can fall into the negative pole and the personality can begin to impose false consistency upon experiences, plowing forward as a means to navigate. OBSERVATION MODE If one has Observation Mode, this would most likely exemplify the very core of the Mode in terms of Connection and Resonance, and in most cases would include some variation and combination of what we have described for the other Modes. In other words, Observation Mode seeks or creates Consistency, Meaning, and clarifies or proves Intentions as related to the pursuit of the Goal. The preferred emphasis of support for the Goal is usually revealed if there is a habitual Mode to which the Observation “slides.” For those in Observation, it would most likely be true that there is an obvious preference of emphasis in terms of MEANING, CONSISTENCY, or INTENTION. MEANING might be defined as the questioning of how this helps one to BE. CONSISTENCY might be defined as the questioning of how this helps one to DO. INTENTION might be defined as the questioning of how this helps one to HAVE. When Observation is not “sliding,” it could be said that it is the questioning of how this helps one to SEE. All of this can be combined into a kind of clever means for one to understand one's Personality dynamic in terms of the relationship between the Mode and Goal. For instance, Observation Mode and Goal of Acceptance might be the questioning of how Acceptance helps one to SEE. If Observation slides to Perseverance, it might be the questioning of how seeking Consistency helps one to See Acceptance. If one is in Passion Mode and with a Goal of Growth, it might be the questioning of how Growth helps one to BE, or the questioning of how Being oneself helps one to Grow. If one is in Power Mode with the Goal of Flow, it might be described as the questioning of how proving one’s Intentions helps one to HAVE peace, freedom, etc., or the questioning of how one’s pursuit of freedom, peace, etc., helps one to share one’s presence. And so on. We must conclude here today. We will open the queue now to the first 5 questions and our responses to these will be included in the final transcript. You may input your question as soon as you have entered the queue if you are one of the first five to respond. [Upst8] so, to be clear then…..if one was in Dominance, it might be the questioning of how Perseverance helps one to DO, or the questioning of how Doing helps one to lead? [MEntity] We can respond to that question here: yes, that is one way of putting the information together. Good evening to each of you. Goodbye. Note: It does not appear that responses to additional questions were ever appended to this transcript.
  3. OMW - Jul 2, 2011 - Healing Relationships Channel: Troy Tolley [CocteauBoy announces] so this will have three parts: Introduction/Discussion/Application Michael will talk about the topic; then the floor will open for general questions about the topic; then the focus will move into exercises... So while I bring in Michael, write down (privately) up to three relationships that you feel are in need of healing, so that as Michael walks through all of this info, you have specific examples to work with. Let's get started! Have a great session! [Martha] Can they be dead? [CocteauBoy] (yeah) [MEntity] Hello to each of you. We are here. We suggest taking a cleared moment right now for taking a few deep gentle breaths, allowing your focus to be present with your body, while inviting resonance among all of you, and with us, however that works for you in your imagination. And we will begin on the subject of "healing relationships" now. First, we will define "Relating" as "discovering and/or creating common ground." We will define "relationship" as "an attraction or repulsion that binds or bonds one to another." This means that even in hatred, there is a relationship, and the repulsion is still rooted in a common ground. Often in hatred, the common ground is feared, or is not understood, and this gives rise to the hatred or repulsion. Love and Hate are not opposites; they are both bound in Intimacy. Hate is as intimate as Love, when they are legitimate. Apathy is the "opposite" of both. It could be said, then, that the positive pole of Relationship is Attraction, and the negative pole is Repulsion. Another way to describe it may be Resonance and Dissonance. Dissonance and Repulsion are merely different ways of describing a state of UNRESOLVE. The lack of resolve is generated by the natural tendency for sentience to generate common ground, yet not being able to understand what that is, or why that is. Some examples: one who is homophobic tends to relate far more closely to the sexuality that is feared or hated than the phobic one wishes to accept. Rejecting homosexuals, then, is a way of tangibly distancing oneself from the common ground of sexuality. Another who is homophobic may not be homosexual, himself, but simply have been taught to fear or simply does not understand this version of a common ground of sexuality. All phobias, then, are Relationships, in themselves, and in the pole of Dissonance, or unresolved common ground. An aside: Allergies, as well, fall into the category of Relationships, and always represent some form of Denial, or Dissonance. There are Relationships of Attraction and Dissonance, and all relationships will fall somewhere within that spectrum. In other words, a Relationship of Love may be Dissonant and not be Attractive, and a Relationship of Hate may be extremely Attractive. Fearing or Not Understanding your Common Ground does not preclude Love or Intimacy. Wounded Relationships are those relationships that have damaged, lost, or rejected the Common Ground that had previously been accepted. Relationships of Hate, then, are not necessarily Wounded, and Relationships of Love are not necessarily Healed. If Attraction is the acceptance and awareness of a common ground, and Dissonance is the unresolve of the fear or misunderstanding of the common ground, then ALL Relationships by definition have a Common Ground, whether the extremes of Love and Hate are involved, or not. The drama, hatred, love, passion, kindness, fighting, arguing, estrangement, romance, etc., are not indications of Wounding, then. They are simply part of the spectrum of Relationships. Wounding is ONLY when the Common Ground is lost, rejected, or damaged. That being said, the more unpleasant spectrum of feelings involved in a relationship can TEND to be associated with Wounding, but this is a tendency, not a rule or equation. In other words, just because you are estranged, or fighting, or caught up in drama, does not automatically mean there is Wounding. However, when there is Wounding, it can often result in estrangement, fighting, and drama. We share all of this so that you understand that your Relationships are as unique and as beautiful as each individual, and cannot be so simply dismissed as Wounded, just because you are unhappy or angry, etc. In fact, some relationships thrive on the Common Ground of Unhappiness or Anger. And they are far from Wounded. Wounded Relationships are usually marked by complete "reset" of the Relationship. A withdrawal from all Common Ground. The Healing comes through the efforts to re-establish, re-discover, and rebuild Common Ground. For Relationships that no longer have the other party involved, whether because of death or distance or complete rejection, Common Ground can still be re-established, re-discovered, and rebuilt. [Brian_W] how? [MEntity] Relationships are a two-way street, so to speak, but Healing does not require both parties. The short answer to how to Heal a Wounded Relationship is to re-establish, re-discover, and/or rebuild the Common Ground. When the other party is not available, it is only a matter of first identifying the most-obvious Common Ground between you. In cases where the person is distant, then Distance can actually be the starting point for Common Ground. In cases where the person has fully rejected all communication, then Hurt can be your Common Ground. In cases where the person is no longer incarnated, your Past can be your Common Ground. Identifying the very thing "between" you as your starting point of Common Ground can often diffuse that very thing. As soon as a Common Ground has been identified and accepted, Healing automatically begins. Healing a Relationship does not necessarily equate it being as you fantasize it, remember it, wish it to be. Healing a Relationship is not an investment, but a gift, for all involved. By identifying and accepting your Hurt or Distance or Past as your Common Ground, one can often free a great deal of energy that can then bring clarity, insight, patience, compassion, peace, and then those can potentially begin to be included as Common Grounds. [Brian_W] Quick question -- can distance include both temporal and / or spacial? [MEntity] Yes. All of what we have shared so far has been the basics of Relationships and Healing, and just understanding these basics can bring some relief and true Healing to some of your most difficult relationships, but also bring understanding and lightness to those relationships that are not wounded, but are simply challenging. Some of your most annoying, challenging, dramatic, and inconvenient Relationships are not so because of Wounding, but because they are simply those things. Understanding this can help you to move to address the challenges directly, instead of being concerned that there is something to "fix." Relationships come in a combination of these elements (or sets): Sexual/Physical, Emotional, Intellectual. Brief, Short-term, and Long-term. Sensual, Shallow, and Deep. All Relationships would be, at least, a combination of one element from each of these. For instance, a Relationship may be Sexual, Short-term, and Deep. Or Emotional, Brief, and Shallow. Sensual would be those relationships that share in feeling good, sharing sensations, stimulation of some sort, including pleasure. Shallow would be those relationships that require little investment, and are not concerned greatly with reward or payoff. Deep would be those relationships that encourage the transformation of fear, or Chief Features. The first set of Elements correspond to the category of Physical, and basically describe the primary means of Interaction. The second set of Elements corresponds to the category of Emotional, and basically describe the interpretation and use of Time or Inspiration. The third set of Elements correspond to the Intellect, and describe the degree of Presence, or Expression. While none of these are necessarily sequential, and can be "mixed and matched" in any number of ways, they do tend to build upon each other in the order we described. For instance, Sensual usually leads to Shallow, and Shallow leads to Deep. Physical usually leads to Emotional leads to Intellectual, etc. By the way, we do not use the term "shallow" here in any negative sense, but only in the sense of depth of investment within and between. Using the sequential tendency, it is also true of all relationships that as they move from one end of the Elements to the other, they will tend to lose emphasis on the previous. So the relationship that is Intellectual, Long-term, and Deep will include, but not necessarily emphasize Physical, Brief, and Sensual. Because this is not understood, many Long-term Mated relationships fail, because they are distracted by the social emphasis on Sensual and Sexual/Physical. The Older the soul, the more likely the Relationships will tend toward the Intellectual, Long-term, and Deep. This is true, even within closed systems, such as Aging. The longer one is in the Body, the more the Relationship with it tends toward Intellectual, Long-term, and Deep. The Whole Relationship, or the Healthy Relationship, is one that includes SPIRIT, or MIND, depending upon one's terminology, the Assimilative or Neutral Element. By "Spirit" we mean that there is an awareness of the Whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. Regardless of any combination, Spirit can be involved. The easiest way to understand "spirit," in this case, is to understand it as that part of you who knows the Relationship is serving you in some way that is meaningful, or can be meaningful. Regardless of the state of the Relationship. We share these various Elements so that you might understand the nature of your Relationship, as it began, where it is, and what you may have expected of it, and that understanding can free you to bring healing, if necessary. The subject of Relationships is as vast as any other subject we can discuss with you, but we will share one more area of consideration as it relates to Healing, before taking questions. Relationships are formed through the MODE, in terms of Overleaves. Depending upon one's Mode, Relationships will TEND to form in certain ways, and TEND to Heal in certain ways. To be brief for the sake of our limited time here, we will share those details for each Mode. RESERVE MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of History; tends to "get to know" others through their Centering; and tends to require dealing with the past as part any relationship healing process. CAUTION MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of Motives/Motivations; tends to bond/bind through the GOAL; and requires a return to SAFETY as part of any relationship healing process. PERSEVERANCE MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of Appearances or Behavior; tends to bond/bind with another through Body Type; requires tangible action as a means for healing any relationship. OBSERVATION MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of Perspective; tends to Bond/Bind through the Mode; requires feeling UNDERSTOOD as a means for healing a Relationship. POWER MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of Confidence; tends to bond/bind with another through the Attitude; and requires HONESTY as a means for healing a relationship. PASSION MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of Imagination; tends to bond/bind with others through Soul Age; and requires the experience of BEING SEEN as part of any healing of a Relationship. AGGRESSION MODE: tends to be attracted to the Common Ground of The LIFE (as a whole); tends to bond/bind with another's Role; and requires recovering INTEGRITY as a means for healing a Relationship. We share these correlations so that you can understand how you may find your angle on building Relationships, and what you might require for healing, as well as others' angle on building Relationships, and what they might require for healing. These attractions, bondings, and requirements for healing are not exclusive to each Mode, but are tendencies that can be helpful as a starting place for healing. As this is our first time communicating some of this through Troy in this way, we know that some elaboration and clarification may be necessary over time, but this is a good start. We will now take questions on the subject. [Geraldine] Please clarify why phobias and allergies are considered relationships [MEntity] Relationships here are defined by "attraction/resonance or repulsion/dissonance of a common ground that binds or bonds one to another." Phobias and allergies are relationships of repulsion/dissonance of a common ground. Phobias and Allergies are basically the differences between Conscious and Subconscious Repulsion/Dissonance. Phobias tend to be conscious dissonance and repulsions, whereas Allergies tend to be subconscious dissonance and repulsions. [Geraldine] but how are they relationships? they aren't people [MEntity] Phobias and Allergies, both, tend to be symbolic and tend to be representative of the Relationship between "you" and "yourself." That could be between "you" and your emotions, your body, your beliefs, your soul, etc. Your sexuality, your past, etc. [Geraldine] ok -- the battleground of self [MEntity] Whether it is the concept of homosexuality, or the effects of pollen, the Common Ground is "you," and how you relate to you. We can elaborate on these as a topic another time, including delineating the various allergies and what they may represent. [Maureen] In an earlier private session with you, we spoke of my ‘revulsion’ for my mother at times and you said – in short – that I would feel the revulsion of those last issues that remain with my Essence – coming to terms with my Essence's "past," and that we are most often repulsed by reflections more than by perceptions. Then you said: “Deciding how to handle such behaviour would give great insight into where you are within yourself/Essence in terms of resolving those remaining conflicts.” Do you have any suggestions for how I (or one) might specifically go about resolving these conflicts from “within”, from the “past”? [MEntity] By responding to your question, we skip ahead to the Application part of our exchange with you: First: determine if there actual wounding, which is defined by your having once shared an identified and accepted common ground; Second: ask if that shared and identified common ground has been lost, damaged, or rejected; Third: identify any common ground you may have, even if it is not one you prefer; Fourth: take responsibility for your part of the Dissonance/Repulsion by understanding what it is, based on your Mode. In your case, with Observation Mode, it may be that you are repulsed by lacking shared perceptions, and not feeling understood; [Maureen] I'm more revulsed by my mother not understanding her own behavior -- and then "owning it" - it is less (now) about her understanding me. [MEntity] By "take responsibility" we mean that you can accept that these are things that are important to you, not only in terms of how they are provided for you, but by others, for themselves. The "reflection" here is that you are just as hard on yourself, as on your mother, in your expectations, standards, and efforts to self-monitor and control yourself. The Dissonance or unresolve here is that you dislike this part of you as much as you need it, and when you see someone else disregard such a priority for you, it is repulsive. This is not to say that these expectations, standards, and efforts are "wrong," but that they are your own. In the end, you are resentful and hurt for having to become your own parent. [Maureen] That hit a nerve... [MEntity] The Common Ground between the two of you is that you are both hurting, you are both children, with the difference between you being that you feel you had to take up the slack for your mother not doing the work of her own healing or maturing. You want some recognition for what you have had to do to "grow up" before you wanted to, or should have to, grow up. Your mother epitomizes the pattern you have with others in your life, as well, in terms of your having to take the "adult" role, even as you would prefer not to. We speak to this, based on our interpretation of records here, but we may be incorrect. [Maureen] it sounds right - thanks! [MEntity] The difference between your mother and others is that most of the other relationships were chosen, while you are "stuck" with your mother. Once one can take responsibility for what it is at the heart of the Dissonance/Repulsion, then one can go to the Fifth step of taking responsibility for what tends to be required for Healing. As this relates to the Mode. For your example, Observation tends to require feeling understood, or that another person understands. Either asking for what you require, or providing it yourself, can free the relationship to move toward Healing. The Sixth step would be in understanding what might be required of the other individual for Healing. In your case, your mother requires the same as you. She needs to feel understood as much as you need to feel, and because this is a Mode that "slides," each you may move to other requirements. In your case, you slide to Passion/Reserve, which means that you need the Past to be dealt with, and/or to Be Seen. And your mother, sliding to Power, requires Honesty, which means that she may have to say what she feels, even if it is not true to you, and she will benefit from your being Honest, and saying what is true for you, even if not immediately true for her. It is the Honesty that is required, though, if Healing is to be. The Seventh step then would be in recognizing or allowing SPIRIT to return, which basically means remembering or creating a higher meaning and value of the relationship that transcends even the challenges and joys. We will return to these steps in a moment. First, we will respond to the other questions. [Martha] Can healing of a relationship spread to other parallels where the relationship is also wounded? [MEntity] No. Technically, no. The work of one parallel will not impact the state of another, but the work of one parallel can draw toward a merge with another parallel that is similar in state due to the work of healing. For example: one parallel may be in no need of healing, while another is. The one that requires healing can eventually merge with the other parallel, if healing is accomplished. [Brian_W] This might tie into Maureen's question, as I definitely see how this applies to healing relationships with others, but in general, what would be the common ground with ourselves? [MEntity] Your idea of "you," your heart, your feelings, your identity, your desires, your cravings, your body, your health, your self-image, etc. Anything that could be described as "yours" would be the common ground. For example, the homophobe would be in a dissonant relationship with his sexuality through the symbolic concept of homosexuality and the homosexuals who exemplify it. [ClaireC] Can you give me some insight as to what the "difference between Conscious and Subconscious Repulsion/Dissonance" is behind my sister's chronic, severe allergies? [MEntity] Keep in mind that there is a vast difference between intolerances and allergies, and chronic, severe intolerances are not indicative of anything but genetics, which may or may not have been intentional as part of the design of the Body. Allergies trigger an immune system reaction, whereas intolerances do not. We would have to look at the details of these allergies to determine the dissonance/denial behind them, and at this point we cannot. [ClaireC] Hers are environmental allergies, it seems. [MEntity] If the allergies are legitimate, and environmentally-related, then this often reflects the dissonance between you and "your world." This often comes from a denial of one's power, or right to be, in the world. When we say "environmentally-related," we mean that it is an immune reaction to several threats that are common in the average person's environment, and usually includes an array. If it is specifically pollen, or dander, for instance, then the dissonance may be different. [ClaireC] Definitely allergic to both pollen and dander. [MEntity] In terms of applying this information, we suggest looking at one of your suggested three relationships that may require healing, and walk through the initial list of details for Relationships, and see how that relationship might be interpreted and understood differently. And then use the steps outlined with Maureen for determining if and how a relationship may need healing. [ClaireC] Yes, that was very helpful information that can be applied to all relationships. [MEntity] We are fading, however, and this channel must stop for now. Troy can continue work with the application aspect in your group forum.
  4. NYC Live: 08/10/2011 On Healing Relationships Note from Janet: This material was transcribed by Elaine and Eric from the live video. MEntity: Hello to each of you. We are here and we will begin discussing the subject requested on healing relationships. Bear with us as we come through. The first thing that we will say in terms of healing relationships is that all relationships of significance, in the sense of those relationships that can cause or be affected by wounding, are those that are formed by your relationships developed through your mode in your overleaves. Understanding your own mode, and your overleaves, and how wounding occurs in relationships, why it occurs, and what can help to heal that wounding, can greatly increase your capacity for taking responsibility in those relationships that have been wounded, in those relationships that do suffer from lack of understanding or lack of solution. Because the more you understand your part of the equation in a wounded relationship, the more control or empowerment – or whatever word you would like to use – the more you have the capacity to change that relationship. You cannot control the other person who is involved in the relationship, of course. But taking responsibility for your part, even if it is only to the extent that you understand your part, can have an effect on the other party involved, helping that individual rise to his or her own understanding and sense of responsibility for his or her part in the relationship. All relationships, of significance in particular but relationships in general, are merely relationships with your understanding of yourself. There is no relationship that you navigate that does not specifically cater to your learning more about yourself. All relationships, but particularly those of significance, are relationships with your equals. The fact that you may think that someone is worse than you or better than you, or even unattainable or inaccessible, signifies or equates where you are with yourself. This is often referred to as reflection, and relationships truly are that: a reflection of where you are with yourself. In other words, the state of your relationships often reflects the state of your own internal relationship. It is rare that one who is feeling whole and liking oneself suffers from broken relationships around them. And the same goes for an individual who is divided within and not particularly accepting of himself or herself. He or she will tend to have relationships that reflect that: broken or disappointing or challenging and so forth. So looking at your mode can help you to understand what you expect from relationships, what you are attracted to in the first place in terms of establishing a relationship, and understanding what has become wounded in terms of that relationship. Thus, you can gain your footing in navigating your relationships and raise your capacity for choice, which is the only true tool that every individual has at their disposal. Even when you think that you do not have a choice in your relationships, you do. Before we get into the modes, again we will emphasize that you cannot control the other individuals who are a part of your relationship. To think that understanding your mode and making efforts to heal whatever has been wounded is in some way a strategy for manipulating the other party into a state that is more acceptable to you will not work. The information we will share with you today helps you to understand your part to heal it and to make room for the other individual, or individuals, involved to make their own choices. So the aim here is not to change your relationship as much as it is to heal it. And we use those two words very carefully, differentiating between the intent to recapture someone, or to capture someone, or to reclaim someone, or to change someone, versus heal what has been wounded and then to reset the invitation for that relationship. Resetting the invitation can lead to changes, but the goal will not be to change it. It will be about healing the relationship, and from there your acceptance of the choices of the other individual or individuals involved should be easier to accept and allow. So we will first ask, so that we can focus on the modes of those present, what everyone’s mode is. We think that we have a room of observation and passion. [Audience] And power. [MEntity] Those are the three? [Audience] Observation passion and what? [Audience] Power. [Audience] Who has that? [Audience] Unclear [Audience] A couple of persons are observation though. [Audience] But “secretly...” [Audience] But “secretly” they have power mode. MEntity: So what we will do is start with passion, speak to observation and then speak to power. And if time permits we will cover all of the modes, and if not in this session, we will make sure that the details are shared with Troy to include in a transcript of this session. Those in passion mode tend to be attracted to relationships that transcend time and space. There is a natural quality inherent in those who have passion mode to see beyond any limitations of time and space, and to develop relationships that transcend those, not only in terms of recognizing fragments from previous lifetimes, but also allowing room for the changes and fluctuations that living may bring to a relationship, so that time and space has no bearing on the quality and depth of the relationship. Those in passion mode tend to see an individual from a higher perception, from a bigger picture / standpoint, and does not constrain those relationships to those restrictions of time and space. So passion mode tends to be attractive to those who allow room for those fluctuations in time and space. And for those who do allow this, the relationships last the entire lifetime, to some extent, in some way, and the depth and intimacy is not altered by any divisions caused by time or space. We will circle back to speak about the wounding in a moment Observation mode tends to be attractive to those who can truly see who you are. Those who have observation as their primary mode, tend to be attracted to those who see past all their personas and allow, not just the surface to be seen or rather make known that just the surface is seen, but all of what that individual is. Those in observation mode can tend to do this for others: they can see past the surface, and depending on other factors in the overleaves, those in observation mode can tend to see the best in people or the worst in people, but it is always that they see more than what is shown. So the relationships that tend to be formed and nurtured are those that allow room for all aspects of that personality to express itself, to be seen…and not just seen, but clearly made known that you are accepted despite what you may have thought should not have been revealed about yourself, or that you struggle to hide. Power mode tends to be attracted to the beliefs or the truths of another person. This is often difficult to discern and, depending on factors in the overleaves, can cause some complications in developing and sustaining relationships, because the exposure of an individual’s personal beliefs and perspectives of life often requires exchanges to reveal that. If the overleaves are not in line with the effort to uncover the beliefs of another individual, those in power mode can often sit back and wait to find out what those beliefs are, what those perspectives are, and often miss those opportunities for deeper relationships. However, one of the ways that power mode attracts those to whom he or she can develop those relationships is by being as present as possible, so that he or she is revealing of his or her own personal beliefs in a way that acts as an invitation for those relationships to sustain and nurture. Again, if this is not pursued, it can cause a gap between the self and development of relationships of significance with others, because the key here is in the fact that it is an individual’s truths and perceptions that are attractive to those who have Power mode. Before we circle back and talk about the wounding that can occur, do these resonate with those of you who have those modes? [Audience] Yes. [Audience] Yes, but I have a question. I was wondering if people who have the same mode are generally attracted to each other, based on what you said. MEntity: Yes, modes can tend to be attracted to each other. They can also often be attracted to their compliment on the same axis. But there is no rule for attraction, because the mode, and to whom you are attracted in a lifetime, often depends on what you seek to experience in your lifetime. And by “you” we mean your essence, and if the personality is on board, then the personality as well. Your mode will act as the means by which you relate to and attract another, but it does not automatically attract. [Audience] Thank you. MEntity: Now we will circle back, and speak of the wounding that can occur. Wounding occurs if the mode moves into the negative pole. The causes of this could be any number of things, so we will not go into the causes for why an individual’s mode may fall into the negative pole. This will be something that you can figure out on your own. We can give some clues as to what we think it might be, but it will be your responsibility to determine that on your own, because it may be a large issue, or it may be specific to that relationship. More than likely, it is a larger issue, especially if you’ve seen this occur more than once in various relationships. Then it would be a larger arcing issue that has more to do with yourself than anything. In other words, it would exist with or without those relationships to emphasize it. Passion mode often experiences it’s most wounded-ness in a relationship if it has fallen into the negative poles and suddenly demands or expects time and space to be complied to or adhered to in order for that relationship to have any significance or meaning. If the expectations of time and space are not met, wounding can occur. The phrase “expectations of time and space being met” can be interpreted many different ways and we leave that to you to apply to any of your relevant relationships that have suffered this form of wounding. But in most cases of those with passion mode, they tend to feel the most hurt or affected in a way where relationships are damaged if there is suddenly a restriction or a condition relative to time and space, because this is counter to their nature. It is counter to everything that Passion mode is about, which is the transcendence of that time and space, and the relating to each other based on soul age and relationships of your essence that goes beyond this lifetime. To suddenly have to restrict a relationship to fit those conditions, and they are not met, causes wounding. And like before we will speak of the wounding and then circle back and speak to the healing that tends to work in those relationships. Observation mode can experience the most wounding in a relationship if the individual feels he or she is suddenly not seen, is completely rendered insignificant or invisible in the eyes of someone who previously was seeing you in your entirety. Or the wounding can occur if, in the pursuit of the relationship, the craving and the longing to be seen is not met, and the individual seems to be unable, or incapable, or unwilling to see all of you. Then the wounding can occur. What we’re speaking about today is true wounding. We are not speaking to the disappointments and every day arguments and dismissals. We’re speaking of what truly is experienced as a wounding for the individual. And those with observation mode can tend to feel the most wounded when they suddenly feel invisible. We’ll also point out that all fragments will be able to relate to the various forms of wounding. We’re speaking to the inclination that each individual will have towards developing a relationship and experiencing wounding, but you are not locked into those. These are simply inclinations that tend to be very consistent. Power mode tends to experience the most wounding when there are lies involved: delusion, deceit, or some form of contradiction to what is expressed as a truth, and acted upon differently. Dishonesty. As you can see all of these things may harm any individual, and their relationships, but they tend to be consistently deeply wounding to those relative to the modes associated with them. For power mode, then, this can translate into trust issues. And often, when it comes to power mode, once an initial wounding has happened, it may take a long time to get to a place to allow the experimentation with trust again, whether with an individual or as an individual in terms of accepting new relationships. Now before we move back to what can be healing, we will ask if these descriptions are resonating with you [Audience] Yes MEntity: So now we will speak to what we think might be healing to these modes when they feel wounded. For passion mode, and for our students who have been with us a long time, you may understand the concept of sliding on the axis, so that if your particular overleaf trait is in the negative pole, and you are stuck there – or feel you are stuck – you can pull from / consciously behave from the positive pole of the mode that is paired with you, which will automatically move you to the positive pole of your own nature, your own overleaf. This is called Sliding. [Audience] This is the same concept as with the Goal. Is that correct? When you’re in the negative pole with your goal? MEntity: It can be any overleaf, any axis. Yes. Whatever your overleaf is, if you are stuck in the negative pole, if you consciously choose to behave from the positive pole of the partner, you will automatically pull yourself into your own positive pole. We set up this system so that it is not just a description of yourself, but a map for how to get out of any binds that you feel you may have gotten into. Sometimes the negative poles are perfectly acceptable, and we do not teach our system so that you are consciously striving to escape the negative poles or to avoid them. They are a part of your Personality, they will always be there. However, they do not feel as good and they do not prompt you to feel as alive as your positive poles. So an individual will tend to prefer the positive poles, and your clarity and your openness and your happiness tends to be proportionate to where you are in your Personality between the positive and negative poles. So understanding how to do that can help you make your choices. But if you are in a negative pole, it does not mean you are bad or you are doing something wrong. So in terms if passion mode, what can help heal the wounding that might occur in your relationship is to use what is attractive to the partner mode, in this case, reserved. Reserve Mode is attracted to the past, to an individual’s history. Therefore, if an individual who has passion mode feels wounded in a relationship, it helps to address the past. It helps to talk about where the relationship is in relation to its history. Often this can help put into perspective everything that has existed as a part of that relationship and in that understanding can free it again from the constraints and restrictions and conditions of time and space, especially when the individual realizes that there is nothing about time and space in particular that can take away from the meaning and inspiration of that relationship. By time and space, by the way, we do not speak superficially on showing up on time or being close by. But sometimes those in passion mode can have strict rules about how another behaves in his or her own space. And therefore, those conditions can cause wounding or deflections of relationships. You understand? Those in passion mode, or are you asleep? [Audience] (laugh) I’m not asleep. Yes. I think I understand, yes. MEntity: We will state it again. When conditions get placed on time and space, it does not mean that an individual must be on time in order to feel as if the relationship is good, or that you must be close to each other in order for the relationship to be good. It can also show up as having control or conditions over how an individual behaves when he or she is with you in time and space. [Audience] Isn’t that kind of universal? Like if someone behaves badly, it would be annoying in your space. I mean, I don’t… [Audience] I think it feels normal for us. That’s the whole point. MEntity: Yes, that is the point. [Audience] How can someone not be (unclear). The concept of not being annoyed with the way someone behaves in your…when they’re with you doesn’t even make sense. MEntity: Those in passion mode who can lean towards the negative pole can tend to have the highest standards for how behavior is controlled in his or her space and time. [Audience] That would be me. [Audience] That would be me to. [Audience] Yeah, I am willing to admit that. [Audience] I didn’t quite understand what you said about reserve? MEntity: Those in reserve mode…before we respond we want to make sure we understand your question. You are asking how it fits into the healing? [Audience] Yeah, I mean reserve is the complementary mode of passion, is that correct? MEntity: Yes. [Audience] So yes, how does reserve connect? MEntity: Reserve feels that a relationship is flourishing and tends to be attracted to relationships that are attracted to each other’s history. So for instance, those who have reserve mode will tend to be attracted to a person’s history, not necessarily who that person is now, but who they have been, and this often refers to past lives as well. Those in reserve mode can often find themselves in relationships with individuals who have no obvious reasons for being in that person’s life, but the reserved mode recognizes them from previous lives where relationships were significant, and therefore can attract them in for significant relationships now against all judgments. So in terms of healing for passion mode, returning to the history of a relationship that has been wounded can often provide the healing required for freeing that relationship from those conditions. For instance, if an individual is feeling wounded by the behavior or choices of a significant other in a relationship, it can help to remember what has gone into the relationship up to that point, and to pay attention to that history instead of losing it to the present where behavior is not complying to your conditions. [Audience] That makes it so much clearer. MEntity: Did this answer your question? [Audience] Yes. It makes it clearer, I think. MEntity: We are speaking to Kerrin as well. [Audience] Yeah. Yes, so reserve is another mode, it is not the negative pole of passion right? MEntity: Correct, yes. Passion and reserve are both complementary, inspirational axis modes. Returning to the concept of wounding and what we had said earlier, often those who are in the negative poles of their reserve or passion modes, and seeing this reflected in relationships, is often because of wounding that is occurring within in regards to their sense of inspiration. If an individual does not feel inspired, or is not doing anything that feels inspiring, or is not in any way allowing a relationship internally to be what is inspiring, it can often be reflected in the relationships, and the relationships take the brunt of the expectations for providing that inspiration rather than pulling it from within. [Audience] What is the negative pole of passion? MEntity: Identification. [Audience] What is the definition of that? MEntity: Those in passion mode who go into the negative pole can tend to lose their boundaries between themselves and whatever it is that they have focused their passion on. The relationship then becomes an extension of identity, rather than a way to actualize the self, a way to learn more about the self, a way to grow. Instead, it is just an extension of the self. Therefore, whatever is happening in this individual’s life, if it is not complying with what you would do, issues can arise. Do you understand? [Audience] Yes MEntity: To put it in simpler terms, an individual in passion mode…if he or she were to cook you dinner and serve it – a plate of spaghetti, let’s say – those who eat it might say “I love this,” or “I do not like it.” Passion mode in the negative pole will hear “I do not like you,” or “I like you.” They have lost their boundaries between themselves and the spaghetti. [Audience] Yes. [Audience] Yes, I completely understand that. (Unclear) MEntity: Observation mode now. The healing that often comes to those who have been wounded does not come from pushing the other individual to see you more clearly, but that you make the effort to see the other person more clearly. It is often the case that when you feel the most invisible, you have also lost perspective of the other person. So those in observation mode would do well to practice, or to put effort into, seeing the other individual or individuals beyond the surface or, more specifically, beyond what you think is defining that other individual at the time. Because observation is a neutral overleaf, it has access to all of the other modes, and it can tend to slide to any of the other ones. Usually there is a habitual means of sliding that a neutral overleaf will develop over the lifetime. So, as we cover all of the modes, you may find that the solution can be helped and supported by wherever you slide. For instance, if you slide to passion mode from observation, your relationship may find support by freeing that relationship from the conditions that you have, or the expectations you have placed on it in terms of time and space. In other words, you may be thinking that an individual should be processing things faster, or keeping up with your speed of processing, when you may need to free them from that restriction. Or, sliding into reserve, it may help you to look to the history that is a part of your relationship, rather than just at the myopic version of your relationship currently. So that is how that would work if you have a neutral mode. The sliding to these other modes would only be for support, because ultimately the goal will still be for you to expand your perception, or your capacity to see the other individual more clearly, as a means of healing the relationship. This does not mean that you will be seen by that individual, but expanding your capacity to see another individual more clearly is not a strategy or a manipulation for helping them to see you more clearly, but rather for you to be able to see their innocence, to see their capacity for making choices to the extent that they are capable of this time, for their capacity to see to the extent that they can see, which may not include all of you. Sometimes you are not seen, not because what is see-able is ugly, but because the other individual simply cannot see. And by your being able to expand your capacity to see that, it frees you from locking into that struggle to be seen and continuing the wounding. The healing that can come for power mode is to utilize what is a part of caution mode’s attraction. Caution tends to be attracted to the security of a relationship, to the safety that another individual provides, or to the sense of safety that is developed within, as a result of the relationship, or to the confidence of another individual. Caution is strongly attracted to that because caution mode tends to work on developing that sense of confidence, that inner security, and so forth. So when power mode feels distrust and feels divided from the capacity for inviting relationships, it can often be healed by developing trust in the self, by developing confidence in the self. If there is a relationship that has been wounded as a part of a blow to trust, that wounding can be healed by the realization that it has no effect on your own sense of self. It has no effect on your sense of trust in you. Sometimes when you enter a relationship, and this is in particular with power mode, there can be a strong wounding occurring if you feel duped, if you feel that something has deceived you or misled you. This can develop into a distrust in your own perceptions, your own capacities to discern and to navigate. Understanding that the choices of another individual, and their capacity to express their truths consistently, has no bearing on your capacity to do that for yourself can bring about the healing for the wounding that may have occurred as a result of those experiences. Going back to observation, we’ll say that what tends to be the case on a larger scale, as we said with passion mode, it tends to be an inspirational issue that can often affect relationships and bring about wounding, because that issue is already inherent in the individual. For the observation mode, it tends to be an emotional – as well an inspirational – but a personal emotional issue that is carried around with you: some form of emotional wounding for which you are waiting for someone to see and to accept and to embrace, a brokenness to some extent. So for those in observation mode, addressing that brokenness, that sense of wounding that is carried around with or without a relationship can greatly increase your capacity for managing many relationships that suffer blows in the future, because often those blows in the relationships speak to or trigger than wounding, that emotional wounding that has been carried long before the relationship came to suffer blows. Observation is related to the emotional rather than the assimilative and those of you who understand our system will see that this may seem like an anomaly, but it is not. In terms of how the mode works in this realm of relationships, it is an emotional mode, whereas reserved mode is the instinctive or the assimilative mode, and we can go into that apparent anomaly another time if it is of interest. Power and caution tend to carry into relationships…With or without relationships these issues may exist, and that would be what we might describe as contradictions within. With or without a relationship, often power mode walks around carrying a confusion about what he is, where he is going, what he is doing, and lives in this divide of how to be present in the world, and what that means. So in short, they have not defined their truths yet. They have not found yet what feels comfortable as a truth, and until that individual does, it can often show up in relationships as distrust and of course develop into distrust within. Because if you do not have that navigational tool of perception and truth to guide you, you feel as if you can’t even trust yourself. So what we’ve described so far in relation to the modes and relationships, wounding, healing…have they all made sense to you? [Audience] Yes [Audience] I have one question. It’s to come back to the way to address the wounding and about going back to the history of a relationship. I find that I agree with that in a sense that I do go back to review the history of a relationship, but I actually find myself getting stuck sometimes in that past or getting resentment or…is that linked to something else in my makeup or is that an aspect? The way I am going about looking at the past…it’s creating a sort of stuckness in the past. MEntity: Well there are two responses we can give to this. One is that yes, you can…those who are in passion mode who then look to the past for the healing by recognizing “maybe this relationship isn’t wounding me as badly as I thought it was, just because it’s not complying to my expectations currently. Look at the history. It’s been wonderful.” However, if it has not been wonderful, then that same negative pole that has caused you to restrict your focus on the current time and space can then look into the history and hone in on one of those past experiences that contribute to supporting why you are having trouble or feeling wounded currently. So if you think of it in terms of looking back across the landscape and then suddenly seeing that there is a trip along the path, passion mode can hone in on this and say, “See? Here’s why I don’t…this is why I feel wounded, or this is why I am bitter.” But the key will be not to search the history for proof, but to see the history in it’s wholeness, and that would be the difference. When passion mode looks to the history, it does not serve it well to look for proof to support the present disappointments, but rather to look at the overall picture of the history in fairness. If that picture reveals to you that the current relationship is simply not one that is healthy, and one that is necessary to step away from, then you are still healing the wounds, because you are seeing that larger arc of history and saying, “There is a pattern here that dominates, and it is not so great for me.” Do you understand? [Audience] Yes. MEntity: So when we said that were have two responses, one is that if you are honing in and looking for proof to support your disappointments now, then you know that you are possibly not doing the work of healing. However, if you are looking at the bigger picture and seeing that there is a pattern that is not healthy, then you are doing the work and you can make your choices from there. [Audience] Yes, thank you. [Audience] Does frequency play a role in that process? MEntity: It plays a role in every process. [Audience] In the speed of healing? MEntity: Yes. Those who are on the lower end of their frequency will tend to take a lot longer to heal. It’s not a rule, it just simply tends to be that way. [Audience] Do they tend to hone in more on evidence to support their disappointments? MEntity: Not necessarily, but the length of time for healing seems to be consistent in terms of a higher frequency person can process and heal faster than a lower frequency person. But in terms of searching the history, a high frequency person can also tend to hone in on past issues that support complaints currently. However, it could be said that the lower frequency makes the exploration of the past slower in terms of processing, which makes those instances appear more clearly than to a person with higher frequency. Does this make sense? [Audience] Yeah. MEntity: Any more questions? [Audience] I have a question from Geraldine. She would like to ask about the mode differences between one's casting vs. ones chosen for role and personality if the casting modes have equal influence? MEntity: We do not understand the question. [Audience] What is a casting mode? [Audience] Maybe the mode that is associated with your casting? MEntity: No, we are speaking of the actual overleaf that is part of your Personality design, not the ones associated with your role or casting. [Audience] ::Discussion (not included):: MEntity: Your role and your casting, and their association to the other overleaves that are on the same axis has no bearing on this particular discussion. Any more questions? Any relationships or examples of relationships, that you would like to discuss can also be bought forth if you choose to. [Audience] There is so many in the room right now. [Audience] Oh yeah, it could be hours. [Audience] Where to even start? MEntity: We cannot solve those or heal those for you, but we think that what we have shared today might help shed light on your part of the equation that can then increase your capacity to choose what to do from there. [Audience] I do think it was very helpful. I mean, to remember why you are in the relationship to start with, like all the great things that you have or had. It seems like such a simple thing, like why didn’t you think of it. You know what I mean? [Audience] I have a question. Everything that you’ve been discussing so far was, from what I understand, from the vantage point of you healing a relationship with another person. Everything that you have discussed, can you apply that if you are trying to heal a part of yourself or if you’re trying to heal your own relationship with yourself? Like, would part of the problem or the infighting be that, if you are of a certain mode, are the positive and negative poles of that mode conflicting or trying to fight off one another? MEntity: Well what we can say to that is that you are correct in your assessment that applying this to relationships within will also be affected. So that, if you are in passion mode for instance, and you are seeing this played out in your relationships – where you are finding yourself wounded by the non-compliance to the constrictions which you may have placed, or the conditions you may have placed on other individuals in terms of time and space – you can turn that within and find that maybe you are also imposing those upon yourself, and that you are thinking you have limited time in order to be who you are, or that you may have to have certain things or conditions in place in your life before you can be who you are, or to find that inspiration, and so forth. Looking at all of this conditions relative to time and space within can free you to heal those inner conflicts. Or in terms of observation mode, there may be elements within the self which you refuse to see that you are expecting others to do the work of seeing and bringing to the surface. And therefore, it could be that you are ignoring a part of yourself or that you consistently do that as a method of relating to yourself: ignoring certain feelings, ignoring certain thoughts, dividing yourself in certain ways in order to feel as if you are a whole person when in fact you only feel whole if you keep this over here and that over here, and so forth. Of course we are speaking metaphorically here. So the for instance, in terms of the overleaf itself, the negative pole of observation is surveillance. The positive pole is clarity. So when an individual is using the positive pole of observation, it means that the individual is able to see the life in a 360 degree fashion. There is clarity about where you are going, who you are, who other people are, what they are doing, and so forth. There is a sense of participation in life and being able to see where you are going. In the negative pole of surveillance, the individual then divides himself from life as a means of seeing things more clearly. And so it can feel as if you are living in life, but watching it through a glass window. You are somehow no longer a part of the very life you are living, a great disconnection. So this can occur within as well, where you become your own observer, rather than your own experiencer. You are watching yourself live your life rather than living it, and it would do you well to bring more of your self into the picture that you so often simply watch as a means of healing that divide within. Do you understand? [Audience] Yes. MEntity: If there is any validity to what we have shared, it should have hit home quite personally. As we said, there is no hard and fast rule associated with these, but there is a consistency that can be explored with relevancy to your relationships within and without. We will quickly add in perseverance mode and aggression mode so that it is completed in our discussion here. Perseverance mode tends to be attracted to physical relationships, to the physical presence of another person, to their physicality, how that individual shows up in their own skin. Perseverance mode can often, in fact, use sexuality as a form of relating. But perseverance mode truly connects to the physical presence of another individual. Aggression mode, on the other hand, is attracted to the totality of an individual: not just their physical presence, but the totality the individual’s beliefs, the individual’s choices, the individuals behavior, the individual’s physicality, their emotional realm, their physical realm, their intellectual realm, their spiritual realm. Aggression mode tends to look at all of it in terms of relating. [Audience] That is so interesting, because my father is in aggression mode and he just recently, apparently, told my mother that she is everything that he’d ever wanted. MEntity: And we think that she is attracted to him for the security and safety. [Audience] Yeah, she’s Caution Mode. [Audience] What’s Caution mode’s one? [Audience] It attracts to security and safety. MEntity: So we will leave those. We can explore them further, but we wanted to throw that in. And the wounding of course would come from extensions that can be extrapolated from the words that we have described. That, if an individual physically alters, for instance, in a relationship with someone who is in perseverance mode, it can be devastating. And by physically alter, we mean there can be indiscretions, or cheating, or ill health, or the lack of productivity. Anything tangible about the individual becomes a measurement for what is meaningful. For aggression mode, of course, the wounding may come from an individual becoming fragmented, divided, scattered, not present, not whole. Those in aggression mode have very few relationships because of this, as well, because there are very few fragments on the planet who are not fragmented. But, because these two particular modes are not present, we will not elaborate upon them. We will conclude or wrap up our discussion about his if there are no more questions. [Audience] I would a question, then. In terms of my relationship with my mother, everything you said fits in with that except that I’m not quite sure what concretely…I guess I want a little bit more concreteness about how to go about improving the relationship, because I definitely feel that I was wounded at some point in the not being seen aspect and then feeling the violation of time and space in that relationship throughout, starting a certain point in my childhood. And it comes up in our interaction, and of course I can’t decide not to interact with my mother anymore. I don’t know if there is something… MEntity: What is your primary mode? [Audience] My mode is passion and her mode is observation. MEntity: Knowing the other individual’s mode is helpful, or can be helpful, because this will give you clues as to what the other individual might need. In this case, as you’ve already discerned, it might be that she does not either feel seen by you or completely accepted in what you see in her. But it also may be – and this is something that will be important for you to understand if you chose to heal in this relationship – is to understand that this particular fragment may never truly like what she sees about herself as well, that there may be parts of her that she refuses to see, and, because you see them, you are held at bay, or given challenges, or struggled against. Do you understand that part? [Audience] Yeah, I’m sorry. I am surprised, because I thought it was about more the wounding, the feeling that I wasn’t seen, but you’re saying that the wounding is on both sides or just on her side? MEntity: If your mode is passion, that is where you want to focus what we shared with you so far. If yours were observation, then your issues would be about being seen or not being seen. However, in your case it, would be more about the relationship in terms of passion and the wounding that occurs in relation to passion, because that is your experience of the relationship. In other words, your mother is an extension of you, and therefore if she is not complying with the expectations that you have of what a mother is, then you may feel the wounding. [Audience] So the wounding is for all modes when you are not seen, or just for the observations mode? MEntity: Just for the observation mode. However, as we said before, there is no rule. Those in passion mode can also experience the feeling of not being seen. For instance, Sages in general have this issue and struggle with it across many lifetimes. Those who have arrogance can have issues of being seen or not being seen, those with self-deprecation. So it is not specifically linked to, or isolated to, a particular mode, but in this context of discussion, in terms of wounding and how individuals relate, this is a clue as to what might be causing the wounding and what could heal the wounding. So in your case, you would focus on the passion and the information we shared relative to that, but if you want to understand where your mother is coming from, then you would want to understand how observation works, because then you have insight into how she is experiencing the relationship. Do you understand? [Audience] Yeah, so the focus on my own passion would be then for me to focus on the time and space. MEntity: Yes, letting her be free from the constraints of your expectations about how she should be now, how she should have been, how present she is, how close you are. Letting her be free from that can help you heal. It may not help you have a better relationship with her, it may not help you to encourage a closer relationship, but at least it will help you heal, which, like we said before, resets the invitation for a better relationship if it is possible. In some cases, it simply is not possible to get what you want from a relationship, even if it’s with a parent. [Audience] Thank you. MEntity: Knowing that she is in observation mode, you can use that to help with the invitation for a better relationship by consciously allowing yourself to see, or expressing to her that she is okay the way she is; that you accept her as she is, not necessarily what she has done, or your responses to it, or your feelings of wounding, but that you are okay with who she is; that she is not just a mother; that she is more than that. She is a person. She is an individual who had a life before you and you are a part of that life, not her life. Being able to see and express that you embrace the totality of her may help her to feel more her own or invite her own form of healing. Do you understand? [Audience] Yes. MEntity: But the work starts with your own, for all of you. So it is not necessary for you to know the modes of those with whom you have struggles. If that were the case, no one would heal. And it is not even necessary for you to know all of this information for you to heal, it just helps. All of you would find your own way with or without this information, or not. We will wrap up the session then here, if there are no more questions. UNRELATED QUESTIONS: Left Out
  5. MICHAEL SPEAKS Open Floor 020809 [Michael Entity] Hello to all of you. We are here now. We will begin with Geraldine's question. [Geraldine] Hello, Michael :) My question has to do with the term non-linear and incarnations. In discussion groups some are saying this means that incarnations work like time-travel. For example, one might live one incarnation in the 20th Century and then the next one in 6,000 BC with the corollary that one could live different Soul Ages in any time. However, I've noticed that no one get channeled as experiencing a future life for the "now" incarnation. I've interpreted it to mean that lessons learned, agreements completed, External Monads completed, or karma earned and burned isn't dealt with in consecutive lives, but more in a hopscotch manner. Could you elaborate on what non-linear incarnations means? [Michael Entity] Only upon the later stages of the Old Soul Age do non-linear incarnations become of any interest, and that is usually because there is little Karma with which to contend. However, previous to that Age, the process of incarnation is fairly linear, at least from your perspective. The non-linear aspects come into play in terms of evolution and comprehension, though. This non-linear aspect is because some concepts and experiences have to be pieced together for comprehension and evolution, and often those "pieces" are scattered across incarnations. This is similar to how a 50+ year old might have a current experience and suddenly grasp a concept that relates back to a childhood experience, collecting the "pieces of experience" from across time, so to speak. Comprehension and evolution is not always linear, but the process of incarnation is. We will clarify that this is not a "rule," but it is simply the nature of the universe. We are able to share our teachings because there is such order. Fragments are not popping in and out of time lines and incarnations to any meaningful extent outside of that natural order. [luluaussi] does that mean the comprehension of these lives/lessons is accessible via this non-linear aspect as a "review" or assimilation? [Michael Entity] In response to luluaussi: if we understand your question correctly, comprehension can come linearly or non-linearly. The combination of completed experiences and the digestion/assimilation of those experiences brings comprehension and evolution. [Geraldine] So, Old souls you reached in Sumer would most likely be cycled off now. [Michael Entity] Geraldine, very few, but some, Old Souls from "that far back" do still exist within incarnations. [Geraldine] Thank you for the clarification of linearity. [luluaussi] yes thank you! :) [DianeH] Hello Michael. Could you talk about the energy of Persistence (positive pole of Perseverance)? i.e. What does it mean? What does it feel like? How do we consciously access it (or slide to it for those who are in Aggression) to assist with completing projects? [Michael Entity] The Positive Pole of Perseverance can be most simply described as "not giving up." It really is that simple. It is an Action overleaf, so the emphasis is on the tangible, including "feelings." It is a conscious practice in DECIDING, which means always knowing that a next step is involved. Perseverance is a Mode, so the emphasis here is on RELATING. This means that a tangible action in relation to a person or goal is described. When one is in the negative pole of Aggression, which is Belligerence, one has simply lost patience and has focused on the limitations of time. To slide to the positive pole of Perseverance, one remembers that time is not as much a constraint as NOT Doing something is. [luluaussi] oh boy do I get that! [DianeH] Me too, LOL. [Michael Entity] So the Belligerent person, rather than flailing about maniacally, will focus the actions into a Decision, or next step, and this will pull them into the positive pole of Perseverance, which, of course, pulls them back into Dynamism, Aggression's positive pole. Dynamism is basically the management of various parts of a system in a cohesive manner. The reason Aggression falls into the negative pole is similar to why a juggler might drop the dynamic juggling of objects: usually the person over-thinks and does not allow for the body-consciousness to flow, or is distracted. [DianeH] Yes, this is very helpful. Thank you! [Michael Entity] One more thing to add, however, to complete the analogy, is that the sliding from Belligerence (the dropping of objects, but the continued flailing of arms) to Persistence, is like the juggler realizing she must actually pick those objects back up (Persistence) to return to juggling (Dynamism). [luluaussi] In the most recent energy report, you said: "Many fragments move through the life carrying the weight of the past with the distraction of the future, finding little reconciliation between them, and these equally-opposing forces create a pressure that leads to Inertia. In a Moving Centered year, these areas of inertia may become painfully or delightfully apparent, allowing for opportunities of release into freedom." Could you elaborate on this and give guidance as to any fragments that could assist in understanding how to use current opportunities ? [Michael Entity] Imagine you are holding two very long ropes, one in each hand. The past is pulling the rope in one direction, while the future is pulling in the other, both equal in power of direction and strength. You are in the middle of this, arms outstretched, standing still, anchored. This is Inertia. Many know this experience, and it is not always a whole-life inertia, but may be in certain areas of the life. This year's Flow may reveal to many where these areas of Inertia are in the life. [luluaussi] yes definitely [Michael Entity] With the Moving Centered year in effect, the realization might be likened to the person in the middle finally trying to pull one or both arms, let go of one or both ropes, or some other action that releases one from this inertia. This release might be painful or delightful. If painful, it is because often the strain of the pull is not realized until the release. If delightful, it is the realization that this pain is a growing pain of sorts, and can be used as strength, not loss. [luluaussi] yes events occurred that were a delightful release of old pain [luluaussi] how does one keep equilibrium so that one can move out of inertial energy and find growth? Feel a bit at sea by these events and want to make the best possible use of the creative energy. [Michael Entity] We would suggest a focus on your own Goal, as described in your personal Overleaves, as a helpful way to maintain a sense of direction during these first few months of the year. In response to the question of any fragments that could assist in understanding how to use current opportunities, we could suggest the fragment known as Barack Obama, the current President of The United States. This fragment is exemplifying the shift from Inertia to Freedom. His exemplification is not without its obstacles and trials, which is inherent in any effort and not to be a sign of failure or limitation. [Tom] Hello Michael. My question is with regards to Ram bahadur Bamjan (AKA the “ buddha Boy” of Nepal) and the year 2012. He has been said to have meditated for months at a time within the jungles of Nepal without food or water. The media attention upon this boy caused him to leave the area saying he would return in six years (which amounts to his return in the year 2012). To my knowledge, he has only been seen a small handful of times since 2006 when he made this claim. As usual, I have a handful of questions relevant to this matter. Is this someone that may be a Transcendental Soul or a fragment looking to “sign on” for Infinite Soul manifestation or maybe something much simpler ( for example: a boy being taken advantage of by someone else for money, fame, etc.) As a side note: does the 2012 date have any significance for an Infinite Soul manifestation (or anything else for that matter) or is this just another date folks point to as “apocalyptic” (like 2000) merely because it’s a common thing for humanity to count down to an apocalypse of one sort or another? [Michael Entity] We know of the fragment about which you ask. The claims are exaggerated and misrepresented, but not maliciously. There are usually reasons for showcasing such things in certain cultures for the sake of continued inspirations and "hope." Food and water are provided, though those providing it under cover do consider the portions "not counting." We would not describe the situation as one where the child is taken advantage of, but we also do not see much validity in the claims, at least on a physical plane level. In American culture you have tabloids that report on celebrities in a way that is parallel to the reports from within Nepal about this child. Most "news" is orchestrated, distorted, or exaggerated for effect, except in the case of the child in question, the effect is intended for inspiration, not entertainment. As for 2012, we do not see it as having any more significance than any other year, especially since the calendar calculations are quite "off" in terms of the Mayan Calendar, but it will not be a year without elaborate events, particularly as the self-fulfilling prophecy is in high probability among many expecting (creating) events. Your questions are more alike than separate, considering "2012" could be said to be a global version of the child in question: a mysterious and unavailable, lending excitement, hope, anticipation, etc. Something to "look forward to." There have been many "2012's" even within your own lifetime, from planetary alignments to harmonic convergences to y2k's, etc. The difference with 2012, however, is that it appeals to ALL Soul Ages, not just one, so that the Baby's project Rapture, the Young project disasters, the Old project elaborate metaphysical events, and all converge in a way that we see as unprecedented in recorded history. [Tom] certainly an infinite soul would be something to look forward to. It'd be nice to hear from someone who actually knows what they're talking about, heh but I doubt there is a specific date the infinite soul would be "planning on" [Michael Entity] Tom, the Infinite Soul was a high probability for manifesting previous to 2000 CE, but as human consciousness shifted and has evolved in a way that does not require "intervention," the Infinite Soul probabilities have declined drastically. This is Good Work. [Tom] ahh, I see [Geraldine] When you grow up, you don't need Daddy quite so often [Michael Entity] However one interprets the world and its events at this point, everything is pointing toward evolution, comprehension, and Maturity, even if the shift and implementation is rocky, it is in effect full force. [luluaussi] so in working in concert with one another we lessen the need for that type of intervention and therefore collectively are doing Good Work? [Michael Entity] Yes, luluaussi. We would agree with your metaphor, as well, Geraldine. [luluaussi] I see:) so glad to be in this boat. [Tom] I think I agree with your assessment Geraldine; of course much more now than say 4 years ago when bush was re-elected...I was thinking "daddy" need to step in a kick some metaphysical ass. LOL [ocean-cheryl] Hello Michael. Lulu's question was similar to mine, in that I find myself stuck second-guessing the past, even as I wish to create a better future. Present issues bring up things that I thought had been long resolved, creating a feeling of insecurity. Do you have any specific suggestions for accepting and releasing the "rope of the past", so one can move more confidently into the future? [Tom] sorry to interrupt, but just wanted to say thanks for your answer Michael! [Michael Entity] Cheryl, when one realizes that one has not resolved issues from the past, it only serves to hold on to them longer when one chastises oneself for not having already resolved them. You distract yourself with the self-chastising or exasperation and do not simply allow for the reality to be dealt with. It is the equivalent of a friend "bringing things up again" as you roll your eyes and begrudgingly give your attention to her or him. You are simply not present at that point, or at least, there is a delay in your presence. When issues from the past come up "again" it would do you well to remember that if it is up again, it never left. It would also do you well to remember that these things are not imposed upon you, but are a part of your life, a part of your creations, choices, fabric, and are just as valid as any efforts to create a better future. In fact, often when one decides it is time to focus on creating a better future, it can become daunting to find the anchors that are in place that have kept you from doing so all along, but your attention to these is Good Work. It is not punishment or failure. [luluaussi] like the "flaws" found in a handmade rug, see by some as undesirable but are part of the intrinsic beauty that is the rug? [ocean-cheryl] yes, the irregularities are what makes it unique [luluaussi] and do nothing to diminish the beauty of functions either [luluaussi] not sure if that was on point but the image popped into brain... [Michael Entity] It would not be amiss to use the weaving, or crocheting, as an analogy for your process. If a stitch or loop is left out or tangled, it is often desireable to return to that stitch or loop, even if it means unraveling to that point, just to ensure the pattern is to your liking. [ocean-cheryl] lol, my knitting is right here and i just did exactly that a few moments ago [luluaussi] guess I was looking over your shoulder [luluaussi] :) [ocean-cheryl] lol [Michael Entity] Often the overall fulfillment of the intended pattern is more rewarding than the frustration of returning to the tangle. It may be annoying in the moment, but if you choose to return to it, it is because you feel the reward of the finished creation is important. [luluaussi] and oh what a beautiful pattern... [Michael Entity] So our response to your question would be to remind yourself of that overall reward and fulfillment and that your attention to issues of the past is a part of your creative process. [ocean-cheryl] you could not have used a better analogy.... and i need to remember that often I am the only one who knows where the flaws are [Michael Entity] We have more to say about repetitive patterns arising from the past, but will return to that subject at another time. In the future. [ocean-cheryl] thank you so much [meredith k] The rug analogy is really beautiful. This is my real question anyway. Am I in love, lust , friendship, commitment-phobia, delusion, nostalgia, politics, false hope or all of the above with said person. To make it general, how can we tell what is what better in interpersonal relationships? What is weird is that I have danced with him before, in this life, and he feels like a woman in a man's body to me, which I like. So I also think in some way we are working on healing or homophobia, so who knows. You guys? [Michael Entity] The questions you ask are ones that we cannot answer. The meaning between two fragments is one that is defined specifically by the fragments experiencing the relationship. If you are "in love," allow it. If you are delusional, continue exploring for truths. If you are nostalgic, enjoy the references. If you are dealing with phobias, continue to raise your consciousness and confidence. One person can create, nurture, and/or define any meaning he or she wishes to have for a relationship, but if one wants to SHARE meaning, it is always best to communicate and define that meaning together. We would say that if one is confused about the nature of a relationship, attraction, and definition then two things may be at work here: Either not enough experience, or there is a discrepancy between what is expected and what is experienced. If lack of experience is the case, then the solution is simply to continue sharing experiences and communication until meaning can be defined. If discrepancy is the issue, then the solution is to be clear about what one wants and to eventually describe this to the other party. If you are unclear about what you want, then the priority is for that to be determined before imposing meaning or expecting definition from the other. [meredith k] that is a lovely answer, I hear patience, reality, communication and self knowledge, honesty thank you [Michael Entity] Often the meaning of a relationship is "left in the air" because of fear, so one party waits for the other to give a sign as to what the meaning is and then the other will adapt or leave. But it is healthy and fair to share your ideas about a relationship, knowing that these ideas may change even as you voice them. [meredith k] absolutely the case here, lots of fear, unfortunately, waiting for the other to give signs. this is good advice also especially knowing that these ideas change as you voice them that is very important for me to hear. [Michael Entity] For the most part, specific to your relationship in question, we would suggest that you enjoy the adventure and exciting anticipation, but also to remember that you are a co-creator of the relationship, not just a recipient of the other's approval. [tkmppi] "Nicknames are part of false personality. Sometimes even the false personality of the parent and not of the soul itself. The parents often give the child a name with a social significance, then promptly change it." This quote from Messages from Michael has been discussed recently, in different groups, without getting much anywhere. What does it actually mean? Isn't "a name with social significance" already a part of the parents' false personality? [Michael Entity] Names, in general, are a part of the False Personality in many cases, not just nicknames, so you are correct in that the last part of our statement is synonymous with the first part. They are simply addressing two different dimensions of the same situation. The original name, when chosen for social significance, is usually pre- birth, while the other is post- birth . The post- birth nicknaming is usually a more specific aspect of False Personality than the pre- birth naming. Nicknames can be generated by the fragment, itself, as he or she moves into society, thus we pointed out that post-birth nicknaming can come from the parents, and not just from the fragment (soul) itself. [sandy] I recently read some information about a previously unmentioned TS. Could Michael elaborate on what a TS is and how they manifest? Also if they don't mind could Michael tell us again who the TS's have been? [meredith k] thank you guys, so good to be around this energy again [Michael Entity] A Transcendental Soul is our way of describing an incarnation of one fragment representing the collective knowledge of its entire cycled-off Entity. They "manifest" in the same way that any other fragment incarnates, with a birth , internal monads, life, etc. However, they are free from any Karmic Ribbons, though not free from Self-Karmic explorations, since Personality and imprinting is still involved. We have described through our channels about the "manifestation" of the Transcendental Soul, and by this we describe the individual's realization of that direct connection to his or her Entity on some significant level. However, this "manifestation" is not much different from any of you realizing your own Essence and "manifesting" this. It is not a magickal or specifically elaborate ordeal, but it does change the nature of the life to a great degree. [Geraldine] You've also stated that every Entity uses a TS as a teaching method -- and there have been many cycled-off Entities -- why so few TS that are known? [Gerber] Is Barack Obama a TS? [Michael Entity] Barack Obama is not a Transcendental Soul. He is an extraordinary fragment to many, but no more extraordinary than any of you. The context of his life may showcase his Essence in a way that many of you will not be showcased, but that does not diminish the extraordinary in the ordinary of any of you. [DianeH] So that mean the TS does not displace a fragment like the IS? [Michael Entity] Manifestation of the Transcendental Soul could be described as "displacing the fragment," and we have described it as such through some channels, but this simply describes the fragment shifting from that individual focus to the collective focus, representing a whole, and not just a part. [Gerber] Thank you Michael- I asked that question because Mr. Obama seems unusually aware of the collective needs of his societies ( both immediate and seemingly universal). [Michael Entity] Gerber, this is the nature of a Priest in the positive poles. Oprah Winfrey would be another example of a Priest in the positive poles. The hallmarks of Transcendental Souls are the lack of sexual activity, lack of affiliation with any organized religion, and an emphasis on some form of social revolution, even if only in a relatively small circle. They actually do very little to bring about the revolution but their presence is enough to spark it. The Priest who is Barack Obama holds none of these hallmark traits. [Gerber] Then they must be rare indeed. [sandy] Does this mean that you, Michael, could be born one more time? [Michael Entity] Sandy, yes, we will incarnate as a Transcendental Soul in at least one parallel. All Entities do so. [Gerber] Please explain the use of the word "parallel"- parallel universe perhaps? [Michael Entity] Yes, we used the term "parallel" to mean a parallel version of incarnations relative to Earth. [Gerber] Thank you- and are there a limitless number of these? [Michael Entity] Gerber, it could be said that there are limitless numbers of parallels, though they could be counted. [sandy] So in our parallel the TS's in recorded history are? [Michael Entity] Gandhi is a clear and relatively recent example of a Transcendental Soul. Socrates, Confucius, Mohammed, Zarathustra, are other examples of Transcendental Souls. These are the only ones we know of in recorded history that may be known to you, as well. Contributing to the list of Transcendental Souls among our channels and students are those souls who have contributed in ways similar to a Transcendental Soul, but are not Transcendental Souls. It may not come as a surprise to some of you that so many cannot accept the extraordinary from the ordinary. In fact, many fragments are capable of what the Transcendental Soul effects. In addition to the names we listed above, many Transcendental Souls have come and gone without notice on global scales, but are tremendously effective in villages, communities, family lines, societies, etc. The impact can be a cumulative, slow, long-term effect fulfilled by many with little recognition brought to the originator of that social revolution. We will conclude here. Good day to each of you. Goodbye.
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