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OMW - Feb 15, 2014 - Intimacy and Me [MEntity] Hello to each of you. We are here, now. [MEntity] We can begin discussion on the subject of Intimacy, as requested.[MEntity] We have much to say on the subject over our years of communication with our students, so we remind you that the term "intimacy" may have brought with it variations of discussion relevant to the context at the time. There may be differences in what we have to say today because we will be speaking about this subject quite specifically, and in the context of your understanding it as a vital part of your well-being.[MEntity] Intimacy is one of the very few ways that the Personality can be in sync with the Essence, or even remotely Manifesting Essence, even when Essence is fully rejected by the Personality. Even those who are deeply asleep in life will feel the prompt for the experience that is Intimacy.[MEntity] This is because Intimacy is directly linked to the Higher Moving Center.[MEntity] There is a reason for the sequence of Centers/Chakras rising vertically through the body/Personality in a way that puts a Higher Center toward "the bottom." [MEntity] Tucked amid the three Lower Centers, and the Instinctive Center, that are immediately accessible at any point in the life, is the Higher Moving Center.[MEntity] This is because if there were no Higher Center "anchored" in the density that is the Physical Plane, a Body, and Personality, then the circuitry that would allow for true Manifestation of Essence would be lost. The entire cycle of incarnations would be a process of blindly sending out a body that would then blindly store experiences and then die, finally releasing that information to Essence.[MEntity] We know that many may feel that the process of evolution is tedious, but evolution would be made infinitely more tedious and complicated if there was no way for the Personality to know Essence, or for Essence to know Personality. [MEntity] So the Higher Moving Center tucked amid the Lower Centers ensures that there is, at least, an eventual potential for circuitry to be developed that is then built upon and secured over lifetimes.[MEntity] It is also amid the Lower Centers because it is one of the first Centers fully developed in a species, long before any potential for Sentience.[MEntity] The Higher Moving Center exists among nearly all forms of matter, but particularly among all "living" things.[MEntity] If there is procreation or reproduction, there is a Higher Moving Center.[MEntity] This is, actually, how any new Sentience to a planet is able to experience the variations of life on a planet as part of the process for deciding if that is where the cycle of incarnations will begin.[MEntity] We bring all of this to your attention because Intimacy is such a natural default for Essence, and is anchored so deeply into the navigational tactics for the Physical Plane, that even from long before "you" were "you," Intimacy was a primary experience for evolving.[MEntity] In other words, Intimacy IS a part of your life, whether you are aware of it, approving of it, recognizing it, defining it properly, accepting it, consciously pursuing it, or not.[MEntity] And though the concept and complexity of what Intimacy may mean to an individual over the course of many lifetimes, no matter what, INTIMACY WILL BE FULFILLED.[MEntity] When Intimacy is ignored, rejected, or subconsciously sought to be fulfilled, it will tend to be fulfilled through ADDICTION.[MEntity] We will describe Positive Pole of Intimacy here is REALIZATION (or Resonance), and the Negative Pole as NEED.[MEntity] As Intimacy is motivated directly by Essence, and is directly linked to a Higher Center, its Negative Pole is far from "bad," and is still quite comfortable to embrace.[MEntity] However, if Intimacy has fallen into NEED for too long, and that Need is not allowed or addressed, then the shift toward Addiction begins.[MEntity] Addiction is the long way around to REALIZATION.[MEntity] It is both a rejection of Intimacy, and a profoundly deep dive toward it.[MEntity] Personality cannot truly reject Intimacy, so the closest it can come to avoiding it is through Addictions.[MEntity] We will define "Addiction" here as compulsions that interfere with the capacity to choose against that compulsion. In other words, doing a lot of one thing does not mean it is an addiction, but doing it at the expense of other things that you would prefer to do, or should do for your well-being, then it is likely an addiction.[MEntity] Habits are not Addictions, but Addictions can be generated from habits.[MEntity] The reason Addiction is so intimately linked to Intimacy is because even Addiction is a path toward Realization, which is the ultimate goal of Intimacy.[MEntity] We will define "Realization" here as the pursuit/action/choice toward full awareness of something as an undeniable fact.[MEntity] All of these facts, or truths, are those that are of Essence.[MEntity] They are not subject to fears, second-guessing, rejection, etc.[MEntity] Examples of various pursuits for Realization are: I AM LOVED; I AM SAFE; I CAN LOVE; I AM VALUABLE; I LIKE MYSELF; I LIKE OTHERS; I AM NOT ALONE; etc.[MEntity] So as you pursue or allow Intimacy, let yourself play around with what you may be seeking to Realize. Often, that truth, that fact, is not far from your consciousness, and may often be related to your wounding. It will not change the status of your relationship to someone if you finally grasp why you are so attracted to that person, but it can bring about a deep peace and confidence in your self as representing Essence.[MEntity] No pursuit or allowance of Intimacy is all about the other person. It is generally 99% about YOU, and YOUR pursuit or allowance of Realizations.[MEntity] You want to Realize that you are loved, so you pursue relationships that help you realize this. You want to Realize that you are creative, so you pursue or allow relationships that help you realize this. You want to Realize that you are not alone, so you pursue intimacy with those who share in your perspective. And so on.[MEntity] There are 12 FORMS OF INTIMACY in your life.[MEntity] There are the 3 forms that are most dependent upon shared space and time:[MEntity] SENSUAL, PERCEPTIONAL, and MUTUAL.[MEntity] SENSUAL Intimacy is any form of touch, from the most sexual to the kindest of hugs. It is a form of Intimacy that brings Realization to your form in space.[MEntity] PERCEPTIONAL Intimacy is any form of shared perspective, shared truths, shared experiences. It is a form of Intimacy that brings Realization to your form in time.[MEntity] MUTUAL Intimacy is any form of shared support, exchanged help, sharing of resources. It is a form of Intimacy that brings Realization to your form in both space and time.[MEntity] The above forms of Intimacy are what most think of in terms of "Intimacy" and what most try to bring to any relationship of depth and longevity.[MEntity] When the above are missing from the life, Addiction is highly likely to be involved.[MEntity] However, if a fragment realizes that there are likely far more opportunities for Intimacy than those, he or she can let those broader forms of Intimacy be quite beneficial to the healing and opening that would allow for the more intimate forms above.[MEntity] That first group of 3 might be considered your ESSENTIAL forms of Intimacy, while the next 3 forms of Intimacy are what we might consider your FUNCTIONAL forms of Intimacy:[MEntity] These would be your PLAYFUL, PROJECTIONAL, and CORRECTIONAL forms of Intimacy.[MEntity] PLAYFUL forms of Intimacy are with those whom you simply like to play. This is a form of Intimacy. It does not matter if you know one another beyond this; if you share in the joy of playing together, you are experiencing Intimacy.[MEntity] This gives Realization to the joy and pleasure of form in space.[MEntity] PROJECTIONAL forms of Intimacy are those where you share a common goal, common responsibilities, tasks, cause, agenda. [MEntity] It is allows you to Realize your effectiveness of form in time.[MEntity] CORRECTIONAL forms of Intimacy are where you share in mistakes, failing, commiserating, empathy, recovery, and strengths.[MEntity] This form of Intimacy allows you to Realize both the joy and effectiveness of yourself in form through time and space.[MEntity] Keep in mind that Intimacy does not always "feel good." It can be challenging, terrifying, and awkward. This is because it is not a path that leads you directly to bliss. It is a path that leads you directly INTO WHATEVER IS BLOCKING YOUR BLISS.[MEntity] So the Correctional form of Intimacy can be difficult, for example.[MEntity] The Correctional form of Intimacy marks a kind of shift into even broader contexts for Intimacy, and these tend to be prompted toward, within, and from experiences that can often be far from pleasant.[MEntity] We will refer to this next tier as your TRANSFORMATIONAL forms of Intimacy:[MEntity] These would be your PAINFUL, BEAUTIFUL, and TRUTHFUL forms of Intimacy.[MEntity] Your PAINFUL forms of Intimacy are found in the sharing of conflicts, resistance, combat, hatred, agitation, aggrivation, annoyance, etc. The more a person prompts this in you, the more Intimate you are with him or her. This can be one of the most powerful forms of Intimacy to embrace, because this is where you can Realize WHAT YOU RESIST.[MEntity] This is where you have become immovable as a form in space, or put another way: how you have become stuck as a Personality.[MEntity] For many of our students, the Essential and Functional forms of Intimacy, while important, are fairly embraced and realized, but once Intimacy has moved into the broader contexts, the rejection begins to be noticeable.[MEntity] Your BEAUTIFUL forms of Intimacy are with those who share in your tastes, your preferences, your patterns of preference, including music, art, nature, performances, and even in slang, language, culture, social behaviors and expressions.[MEntity] This sounds "beautiful" until we look a bit closer at how rigidly the boundaries are for many of our students who define themselves by these preferences and patterns.[MEntity] What tends to be missed in this form of Intimacy is that it is not about it being only on your terms. It is about SHARING in a pattern of preference. This means, it may not be one of your familiar patterns, but someone else's. It may not be known to you already, and may require time, but there is a pattern here that is an invitation to Beauty, to Intimacy.[MEntity] So this form of Intimacy helps you to Realize how you have become stuck in your patterns across time.[MEntity] The TRUTHFUL form of Intimacy is when sharing in a moment of utter honesty, even if unprompted, unsolicited, and uninvited. It is much like a child's honesty being expressed at the most inappropriate moment. This form of Intimacy is full of surprises and disorientation, and can come from anywhere, anytime, from anyone.[MEntity] This form of Intimacy has been dubbed "brutal honesty" by some, and then hijacked as a form of abuse by others, but there is a difference between sharing in a truth that strikes a chord of validity, and hearing a "truth" that is merely a hurtful opinion.[MEntity] "Brutal Honesty" is innocent in its presentation. It is known that it will be, and needs to be, heard. It is not intended to be hurtful. However, TRUTHFUL Intimacy can often come out in angry words that have withheld the truth, or collaborated in your avoidance of the truth, and can come out in arguments.[MEntity] If you find you are in a moment of sharing Truthful Intimacy, even if it comes in the heat of an argument, you can stop for a moment and hear that truth, and Realize that you have been seen, known, understood, even if it is ugly to you, or unwanted or rejected by you. It is a Realization of the Truth of YOU, another part of your coming home, across time and space.[MEntity] The next tier would be referred to as the DIRECTIONAL, or INSTRUCTIONAL forms of Intimacy.[MEntity] We use thes terms because they capture the effect of these forms of Intimacy in returning one directly to the core of truth, love, and energy of one's Essence.[MEntity] These would be the CATASTROPHIC, PIVOTAL, and UNCONDITIONAL.[MEntity] Catastrophic Intimacy can bring together entire cities, cultures, and societies to a common ground of Intimacy. This is a kind of ultimate Realization of Oneness in form. On an individual level, this can be the intimacy shared with one who must heal you, or be healed by you, or be mutually healing, and there is a Realization of importance to each of you.[MEntity] Pivotal Intimacy is shared as cultures and societies evolve beyond limitations for who and how their peoples are treated, included, excluded, etc, and the move toward equality and enlightenment is secured. It is a form of growing up, maturing. And this is true on an individual level, as well. Pivotal Intimacy is when you finally "get" another person, perspective, or direction that was rejected by you in the past, or misunderstood, or ignored. Pivotal Intimacy is the realization of our evolution.[MEntity] UNCONDITIONAL Intimacy is in the sharing of spirituality, philosophies, the meaning of experiences, and the greater contexts of existence. We refer to this as "Unconditional" because in most instances where these things are shared, very little else is questioned about that person.[MEntity] Of course, then, the other forms of intimacy come into play, and all hell can break loose to evoke many other layers of intimacy, but Unconditional Intimacy presumes such profound similarity, that it lures in all walks of life into the same space and time, and then the real work of Intimacy begins.[MEntity] Many of our students know this.[MEntity] And so, the above are all of the ways in which your Essence will manifest its pursuit and allowance of Intimacy through you as a Personality.[MEntity] Our suggestion to each of you is to look at each form of Intimacy to see if there can be examples listed for each.[MEntity] Keep in mind that the first two tiers are fairly ordinal in their experience, while the second two are fairly cardinal, so you will probably have more examples of the first 6 forms than the last 6, with more of the last 6 being from personal history or even historic.[MEntity] In other words, the first 6 will tend to happen more often in more ways than the last 6.[MEntity] But ALL 12 are active and alive in you, your life, and your relationships.[MEntity] This pursuit or allowance of Intimacy is not just for sharing with another, but also about your internal sense of Intimacy with yourself, as well.[MEntity] Ultimately, if you understand all of the ways in which you gravitate toward intimacy, and how those forms are fulfilled, your expansion of choice can be greater, more responsible, more conscious, and your benefit shared more kindly and meaningfully.[MEntity] We have time through this channel for up to 3 questions that may serve the group. We can take those now.[DianeHB] How does one embrace Painful forms of Intimacy?[MEntity] Remember that "Pain" equals "Resistance." That is all there is to it. Nearly all experiences from which one grows are a product of FRICTION. Some Friction is pleasurable, some is painful. But Pain is still just information. It is true whether emotional or physical or mental. If you burn yourself on the stove, it is the friction of too much heat. The pain is informing you to pull from the heat. You treat the wound and learn from it. Early forms of learning are to simply avoid the stove altogether. Later forms begin to realize there is no danger, but that one need only be careful, conscious, aware, and to use better tools for navigating the stove and its heat. This process is the same for every other body that is you.[MEntity] So as an older soul, it is not about avoiding the source of pain, but about learning to navigate and use better tools.[MEntity] Yes, some people may require the equivalent of a pot holder to deal with, but you can deal with them. And yes, some may be hotter than others, etc. but to embrace Painful Intimacy means embracing what you are learning from the information in the pain.[MEntity] That is what matters.[DianeHB] I see, thank you.[ViP1] Hi Michael[ViP1] You said: 'This pursuit or allowance of Intimacy is not just for sharing with another, but also about your internal sense of Intimacy with yourself, as well.'[ViP1] Do recurring nightmares indicate a lack of intimacy with the self, and if so, which forms of intimacy are involved (and how to gain that intimacy/fix it?)[MEntity] We would not consider dreams or nightmares to fall into the context of Intimacy here, because we are speaking of Intimacy as that which is prompted in the sharing of time, space, and form with another fragment or fragments. Even though others may be involved, Intimacy is still a matter of that which is internal and external, so that is what we meant. However, if you find that your nightmares are prompted by some form of intimacy with another, there may be processes here that relate to Painful or Truthful Intimacy.[Maureen] Without diminishing the complexity and the varied nature of sports, is watching sports, especially contact sports, a way that many people (mostly men) can vicariously experience intimacy?[MEntity] Oh, yes. If this is an experienced being shared with others, even if after a game, in communcation about the game, in celebrating with others, it can easily be Playful, but if done while alone and with no one else, it may simply be a form of entertainment.[MEntity] When it comes to Sports, it can often fall into the Unconditional Intimacy, with wide presumptions of intimacy being shared because of shared support for a team.[MEntity] We will conclude here for today. We think we have shared enough with you so that each of you can look more closely at how Intimacy works in your life, how you might avoid it, where you might not be recognizing it, and how better to embrace it in all of its forms.