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OMW - May 19, 2012 - Accepting The Unacceptable Channel: Troy Tolley The Preliminary Set-up/Preparation [CocteauBoy] ONE. Write down three things that you find unacceptable. There may be more than that, but pick three very clear things that you find difficult to accept. Make sure these are things that you come across a lot, too. Not something abstract and horrific that is obviously, universally difficult to accept, like child sex rings (unless that is directly relevant to you), but something relevant to you. [CocteauBoy] Take a moment to do that. (Note: Use syntax of "I find it unacceptable that . . .") [CocteauBoy] "Unacceptable" here means "something or someone who prompts negative (as in, constricting) reactions in you in a way that you feel you have trouble recovering from." [CocteauBoy] That "something or someone" can be yourself, too. [CocteauBoy] TWO. Okay, so here's part two: [CocteauBoy] List one thing that is unacceptable to you in each of these categories: The World; Other People; Myself. However you want to interpret those. Sort your original list to see if it fills these, but if not, make sure you pick a new one for that category without one. [CocteauBoy] IF you did name names, you have to translate that into what it is that bothers you about that person. Note: This is ONE list of up to six items, but can be less due to overlapping items. Beginning of Channeled Michael [MEntity] Keeping your list in mind, we will share with you what we think might be helpful for "accepting the unacceptable," what it means to accept, what the path is to true acceptance, and whether it is always the valid choice to make. [MEntity] To begin any discussion on Acceptance, we must discuss the elements involved with Acceptance. [MEntity] Acceptance is a Higher Intellectual function. It is the "highest" functioning Center of the body, and is the gateway for Essence to move into the high planes over its evolution and return to Tao. [MEntity] However, True Agape, or True Acceptance, requires all elements, or Centers (or Chakras) to be functioning in the Positive Poles for that state to be achieved. [MEntity] This is nearly impossible while Human, or while in a Body. There is almost always a Center teetering toward the Negative Pole, even on the best of days, as there is a spectrum involved in the living of life, and there is no need for one to exist only in the Positive Poles. The Negative Poles are important and useful. [MEntity] This is why we encourage the aim for Agape, but we also know that it is rare to experience it. To truly Love is not what most know as Love, or Agape. [MEntity] However, the aim for Agape is a valid aim, even if rare in reaching it, because the aim for Agape means that every single layer of your life is then aiming higher, aiming for wholeness, aiming for health, aiming for prosperity, aiming for whatever has been deemed beneficial. That single aim affects everything. [MEntity] Aiming toward Agape ensures that every aspect of you, both the most "negative" and the most "positive" are aiming in the same direction, and including everything known and unknown in the life. [MEntity] Aiming for Agape is also the most effortless direction to aim, despite the rarity and difficulty of experiencing it at the highest levels. Agape is the gravity that will take you "home." [MEntity] It is our most natural state. [MEntity] But it is also the most buried and remote in our consciousness so that we must work through the layers to unfurl it, so to speak. [Maureen] Michael -- wouldn't Agape (Acceptance) be associated with the Higher Emotional Center rather than the Higher intellectual? Am I missing something? [MEntity] In our system, it is an Cardinal, Expressive Overleaf that resonates to the Higher Intellectual Center, or Truth. There is a reason you may find resonance with the Emotional element, which what we will speak to now. [MEntity] Love is the Highest Truth. [MEntity] Regardless of one's Goal and overleaves, Acceptance will still be a part of the life. It may not be emphasized as the challenge, but it will be a part of the life. In the same way that one will grow, even if Growth is not the Goal, so will one Accept, even if that is not the emphasis. [MEntity] So what we will do today is speak to the most pervasive element involved in the hurdle to Acceptance. [MEntity] For most, this would be the Emotional "element" or the Emotional Center. [MEntity] This is because one can know the truth of something or someone and still not Love, or not Accept, because of the Emotional Centering's pull into Sentimentality vs Perception. [MEntity] The Intellect can often grasp the truth of something while the Emotions cannot make sense of it. We think each of you know of this experience. [MEntity] This is because the Intellect, when functioning properly, simplfies, reduces, and synopsizes events, people, and self so that the bare bones or structures are all that are necessary for understanding and accepting. The rest is unnecessary. [MEntity] The Intellectual Centers, both Lower and Higher, can sort through everything to find that structure or core and this is known as Insight and Truth, when they are in the positive poles. [MEntity] This is not to say that the Intellect is immune to issues, but in the context of our workshop today regarding "accepting the unacceptable," the Intellect can often already be on board, while the Emotions are not in any mood to accept what the Intellect has accepted. [MEntity] This is because the Intellects use a linear language, or linear understanding, such as words, for its processing. The Emotions have no words, nothing linear, and its language is highly symbolic. [MEntity] This world of symbolism is highly effective when it is in the Positive Pole of Perception. This is the capacity for one to "know" something based upon perceiving, and bypassing all logic or intellect. It is holistic in its processing, so that all components or aspects of a situation, person, or self are comprehended in a moment. [MEntity] In the same way that a swatch of color can convey much more than a single English letter, so can Emotions convey whole concepts. The world of dreams is an Emotional world in that way. The Astral Plane, or Emotional Plane, is the same. [MEntity] Perception is the immediate comprehension of that symbolic language. [MEntity] It is also the allowance for shift in that symbolic language. [MEntity] All language is dynamic, and if not allowed for nuances and variations, it can become useless and ineffective. [MEntity] Sentimentality, then, is the attachment to symbols, or the attachment to symbols, or the attachment of meaning to symbols. [MEntity] As a simplistic example, the color RED is often immediately meaningful in one way or another, such as meaning STOP, or HALT, AGITATION, EXCITEMENT or WARNING, or it may mean PASSION, LOVE, ANGER, or it may mean REWARD, such as the red of harvested fruits, etc. [MEntity] For one to truly grasp the meaning of a symbol, the larger context must be considered. [MEntity] When walking through a red apple orchard, one does not see STOP, WARNING, AGITATION, as one might see on a road with many Stop Signs, and one does not see PASSION, INTIMACY, LOVE, as one might find while walking through a red rose garden, etc. [MEntity] You would see apples. Fruit. Harvesting, Reward. [MEntity] So while the color has powerful meaning in itself, the context clarifies that meaning. [MEntity] But when Sentimentality becomes involved, one begins to attach rigid meaning to the symbols of life. [MEntity] So your meaning of Red will mean RED in any circumstance. [MEntity] This is what happens when you have come across the unacceptable. You are seeing your Red, and its meaning, alone. [MEntity] You have turned the event, person, or aspect of yourself into a symbol that has no room for new meaning. [MEntity] Or for alternative meaning, at least. [MEntity] So the greatest pitfall in your efforts toward increasing Love in your life tends to be where you have locked down the symbolic meaning of events, people, or self in a way that you feel justified in keeping locked down. [MEntity] Before we move on, is everyone following this, and does this ring valid for you? Do you have any questions so far? [Janet] I think it rings true. I am trying to figure how it applies to some items on my list. [Maureen] Great so far Michael [Bobby] yes [MEntity] Your lists will come in handy as we continue. [GeraldineB] I had a "bingo!" on the difference between intellectual or linear and emotional symbolism being perception -- will need to chew on it [MEntity] We will continue now. [MEntity] For greater understanding of your Emotional navigation, imagine that it is your way of moving about in life with no eyes. [MEntity] Your Emotions, then, need to reach out, to touch, to feel. This is simplistic, but effective in making our point. [MEntity] When you feel something that "feels good," it is an immediate knowing that it feels good, and it is often embraced. When you feel something that does not feel good, it is an immediate knowing that it may be dangerous and you might push it away. [MEntity] Knowing that something feels good, or not, is not the truth, though. [MEntity] The fur of a Grizzly bear may feel amazing, but it will not keep your skull from being chewed. The burn on your hand from the hot skillet while you cooked has no bearing on the quality of the meal you will consume after. [MEntity] In short: YOUR FEELINGS ARE NEVER THE TRUTH. [MEntity] Or rather: never the whole truth. [MEntity] Your feelings are what you experience ABOUT the truth, but they are not the truth. [MEntity] Consider any important relationship in your life: one day, you may not feel close at all, and another day, you cannot imagine your life without that person. Your feelings change. They are not the same thing as the truth. [MEntity] Good days, bad days, good relationships, bad relationships, are determined by your feelings about those things, not by those things, themselves. [MEntity] This is why one person can find such agitation with something or someone, but another person finds no charge at all, because the symbols are different, and the feelings generated are different. [MEntity] The actual situation can be exactly the same, but the feelings vary wildly. [MEntity] This is also why "the truth" is often so slippery, because many are referring only to their feelings as a basis for what is true, and not the truth, itself. [MEntity] What we are sharing with you today is not just about your list, but about your list as it reflects you. Because our discussion with you today is about the ultimate aim: Self-Love. Everything that is experienced internally or externally in terms of being "unacceptable," are clues as to where and how you will want to aim your capacity for Self-Love. [MEntity] We realize it has come to be cliche, that "one can only love another if one has learned to love oneself," but we will clarify this as being true that one can only love or accept another to the extent that one can love or accept oneself. The extent to which one is incapable of loving oneself can often be revealed in those areas where one cannot accept. [MEntity] So we will state here that Self-Love is built upon one's capacity for accepting all of the fluctuations in the Emotions that make up how you know yourself at any given moment. [MEntity] In other words, it is vital that you allow room for ALL of you. DEFINITIONS [MEntity] We will go further here to expand on some terms: [MEntity] Perception might be defined as that part of you that can transcend the confines of Space, Time, and Logic to grasp the essential and nuanced nature of the self, another person, experience, or event. [MEntity] Sentimentality might be defined as that part of you that remains attached to the definitions already determined for yourself, another person, experience, or event, often determined only by your own past. [MEntity[ Perception is based in a state of NOW, if you will, while Sentimentality is rooted in comparisons that takes one outside of Now. For instance, Perception knows that if you are sad right now, it is okay because another "now" comes along, and you know you are not always sad. Sentimentality compares sadness to happiness and seeks to escape Now by longing for the past when happy, or the hope for a future when happy again. [MEntity] It is not in the comparisons that there can be trouble, but in use of comparison as the distraction away from the self, relationship, experience, or event. [MEntity] Perception allows you to avoid being trapped by symbolism. It knows that just because you are feeling sad, that it does not mean you are sad. You are experiencing Sadness. That is all. You also know that when you are Happy, it is not permanent; you will still have bad days. Perception "knows" this. [MEntity] You are incarnating for the point of Being, and that means you would naturally include a spectrum of Being, not one end or the other, if there is such a thing. [MEntity] To that end, whatever you feel, is a PART of who you are, right now. It is not the entirety of who you are. It is not the truth of who you are. [MEntity] And so it is that what you find unacceptable is only a PART of whatever is unacceptable. It is not the truth, nor is it the entirety of that which is unacceptable. [MEntity] There is so much more. [MEntity] If you wish to accept that which is unacceptable, then, you must start with yourself in that experience, and with your feelings in that experience, and know that you cannot accept the unacceptable until you allow yourself NOT to accept it. [MEntity] Accepting the unacceptable starts with accepting your lack of capacity to accept. [MEntity] This irony is a quick short-circuiting of the wheel that can perpetuate terrible feelings in unacceptability. [MEntity] When you accept your own lack of capacity to accept, your energy can shift toward expansion, rather than defense. [Maureen] Acceptance of your own Un-Acceptance leads to "eventual" Acceptance? [GeraldineB] Well, at least to your perception of your unacceptance [Maureen] yes [JanaK] because in that you are accepting yourself (not accepting) [GeraldineB falls off her chair howling with laughter] [JanaK] lol [Maureen] :) [MEntity] Yes, but naturally, not magically. [MEntity] This is because at the heart of this element where acceptability can get trapped is the capacity for compassion and empathy, and one must generate compassion and empathy for the self before extending that to another. [Bobby] This rings true to some degree like the mode of passion does. I see things that I don't like/accept but I don't have to take them personally. [MEntity] For example, many who suffer loss may focus on trying to accept that loss, but the key is not in aiming toward accepting the loss, but in aiming toward accepting your struggle to accept the loss. This may seem a fine line, but it is not. [MEntity] This goes back to the symbolism of the Emotional Center. [MEntity] The Emotional Center, when Sentimental, cannot differentiate very well between the self and the symbol, and it can cause great agitation, grief, and reaction if the symbols do not behave within the confines of how they have been defined. [MEntity] In other words, The World should behave in certain ways because that is how you determined your world should be. Other People should behave in certain ways because this is how you presume you will show up for others. You must, yourself, behave in certain ways that fulfill your symbolic identity. [Maureen] It can get really tricky [MEntity] But in the same way that you will have good days and bad days and ALL of those are yours, so will there be "good" people and "bad" people, but they are your people. There will be challenging people and harmonious people, because you are those things, as well. There is a spectrum, not a fence to cross, or to herd everyone over. [MEntity] What tends to perpetuate a lack of acceptability is the lack of effort to Be Present. [MEntity] This is because it is considered a threat to the self if the symbol is given any validity, especially if that symbol is behaving outside of what you have deemed acceptable. [MEntity] For instance, to Be Present to the fact that there will be people at war, even if you prefer Peace, means that you feel you would have to, essentially, accept war. [MEntity] But the key here is in accepting that there will be people at war, not in accepting war, itself. [MEntity] There will be people behaving badly around you, based on your standards, and they will exist with or without your accepting them. [MEntity] To Be Present, however, does not mean you have to remain in an uncomfortable or painful situation, but that you accept that there are people who are okay with what you are not, and that you have the right and the capacity to choose not to be a part of it. [Janet] Ok, now I think I'm getting it. [MEntity] To Be Present simply means that you bring your consciousness to the moment and can make a choice from there. Being Present is a first step toward Intimacy, and is a form of it, in itself. [MEntity] And Intimacy is the first step toward Essence Recognition, which is often the key to freeing one another from the symbols that bind you. [MEntity] Essence Recognition is the stripping away of all symbols, including the current body and Personality, to resonate with the Essence of another. It is the truth. The whole truth. It is Love. [MEntity] Keeping in mind that Love, and Essence are spectrums, so that Essence Recognition is inclusive of that spectrum. The unacceptable is included. And this, paradoxically, generates a kind of acceptance that can undo any reactionary cycles of defense that were previously in place against the unacceptable. [MEntity] For example: [MEntity] We have said this before, but one does not have to remain in a burning house to learn how to love it. [MEntity] Being Present means being able to make the choice to step outside of the danger or impact that can very well harm you. It is not a denial, avoidance, reaction, rejection, or a confusion between the house and the fire. [MEntity] The Fire is a PART of the experience of the House, but is not the entirety of the House. [MEntity] Making the choice not to burn with the house is not the same thing as not accepting the fire, or not accepting the house. [MEntity] You accept that you wish not to burn, but that the fire exists, and that the house is being transformed by it. This is acceptance. [MEntity] It is allowing room for all of these symbols to dance, to move, to change, to interact, and to BE. Being is not defined by predetermined meaning, but by context, creativity, and evolution. [MEntity] When you look at your list of unacceptable things, then, these are areas of your life looking for new meaning, new freedom, new perceptions. [MEntity] These are your blind spots. [MEntity] These are the things you have touched and determined are "bad" only because of how they felt in the dark, so to speak. [MEntity] Your feelings matter, but they are not the whole truth. Your life reflects you, but it reflects everything, not just you. It is the whole truth, not just the pretty parts. [MEntity] Bring our consciousness to the equation, make your choices in how to navigate these difficult challenges, but make room for more than the symbolic conclusions. [MEntity] To put the final empowerment into place for accepting the unacceptable, we will say that if you still deem something unacceptable, it will be helpful for you to know that you are right. You will always be right. No one can take that away from you. No matter how awful you have determined something to be, or how wonderful, you are right. Because it is your experience. [MEntity] And when you change your mind, or change your heart, you will be right again then, too. [MEntity] Giving yourself that freedom to be right can help you to remove the necessity for recruiting others to support your condemnation of a symbol, or to justify your not being accepting of something or something. [MEntity] If you are already right, then the only thing left to do is to navigate. But as soon as you bring in your presence, your consciousness, your navigation begins to include a greater context, and when a greater context is included, your ideas of "right" begin to expand and become more inclusive. It is not a sad day when you realize that "everyone is right." QUESTIONS and REMARKS [MEntity] Before we conclude with a clear synopsis, and offer suggestions for how to move the unacceptable into being acceptable, we will take your questions about what has been shared, so far. [MEntity] If that is a possibility, and your choice, of course. Acceptance is not dependent upon what is possible, or in what you should do, or not do, but in your capacity to allow for that which IS, even as it may be compared to what it should be, or was. [MEntity] Acceptance is not apathy. [Janet] That's what I was getting to. Thanks. [Bobby] I would add the question: why do we care so much what others think about things we either do or don't do? [MEntity] For example, we know our channel is highly passionate about Animal Rights, and this has made his list of "unacceptable" things in The World. Accepting that there are violations and suffering imposed upon the innocent is not the same thing as resigning from making a difference. The acceptance removes the reactionary, defensive element, and allows for conscious choices, which are far more effective, such as through education and exemplifying alternatives. [Janet] That's understandable. Mine was Fox News. And fear-based politics in general. [MEntity] Accepting that this "news" exists does not mean that it is your news, or that it is the truth about the world. It simply means that you allow room for it for those who want it and need it. They want to be as right as you do. [Janet] And I accept that. :-) [MEntity] Accepting that it exists does not mean resigning from countering it, or making known a more fact-based resources. [MEntity] It simply means that it no longer triggers you, causes defense, or reactionary divisions that cannot allow for it to exist. This is a part of the world that does not reflect you in any obvious way, but we can say that its spectrum between gullibility and some feverish impulses to condemn may be familiar from within yourself. [Janet] Yes, I am finding that most things that set me off have some connection to things I do myself. [MEntity] This is what we meant by the Emotions feeling the surface and rejecting the content. On the surface, this prickly subject is obviously unappealing and has no bearing, but beneath that is the innocence that you feel is exploited, and that you wish to heal from your own past. [MEntity] This is often the core of most of what is unacceptable when it comes to the Older Soul: the healing of, and return to, Innocence. [Maureen] My husband doesn’t do the dishes – “when” I want him to. This seems so silly -- but it drives me crazy. [JanaK] you have just spoken for millions of people [MEntity] The Old Soul is the Infant Soul, exalted. The tantrums are more refined and justified, but that which "drives one crazy" is often used as permission for tantrums. [MEntity] The unacceptable is often built from the need To Be Right, and is a rejection of Innocence in some way, both of which need serious attention and healing in most cases. [MEntity] Your husband is Innocent. It is simply not as important to him as it is to you. You have blurred him into your symbolism for who you are, and it is not his job to symbolize you. [Maureen] I can see that - LOL [MEntity] Accepting that his priority for doing dishes is different from yours does not mean that you lose your own, but that you now have a choice: allow him to do so on his own, or do it when you want to do it. No one is out to hurt the other by being oneself. [Maureen] So funny -- he's told me as much Michael SUGGESTIONS [MEntity] Here are some suggestions for each of you to use in your days and weeks ahead when working with the unacceptable: [MEntity] Beyond bringing your own Presence into the equation, practice "realizing" the presence of others. In other words, return them to being people, to being real, to having their own pasts, their own ideals, their own validity; return them back to themselves. Remind yourself that this person cares about something, too. It may not be the same as you, but he or she cares. Remember that this person tries to love someone, too, and that he or she struggles with letting himself or herself be loved. [MEntity] Remember that you feel the way you do because you care, too. And because you try to love, and to be loved, as well. You matter. They matter. So return them from the land of symbolism and give them back to themselves, as you must do for parts of yourself, too. [MEntity] This helps return your Perception back to a bigger picture, not just the tunnel-vision of reaction and condemnation. [MEntity] Another suggestion is to extend this "realizing" into what we call "practicing vividry." [MEntity] This is simply the enhancement of the moment of experience into a moment of awe. [MEntity] It will not matter what you are doing, or where, but it is the sudden realization that you are present, that your skin exists, that there is light on your face, that there are textures touching you, and that there is a temperature, and that you have a face that has a tongue and mouth and eyes, and that your hands and arms exist, etc. It is the filling up of everything within "reach" with your conscious awareness. [MEntity] Bringing you and your environment to life through vividry is a powerful way of comprehending just how sleepy you may get in your movement through your days. [MEntity] One need not be consciously and constantly aware like this at all times, of course, but for you to be able to call upon that at any moment is vital for moving your into Self-Love and acceptance of others. [MEntity] This is because one can have a very difficult time accepting the unacceptable if one is asleep, as it is much like being in a dream where one feels that the symbols happen without rhyme or reason, and that there is not much one can do but to report on them. Waking up changes this. [MEntity] And finally, if you were to do this "waking up" before going to bed at night, it can carry over into your days in even more natural ways. Practicing Vividry just before retiring into sleep can help remind you that your day was a specrum that supported everything that is You. [MEntity] That would include the unacceptable. [MEntity] Extend this vividry to beyond the moment so that there is a realization that your bed, your linens, your home, and everything in it came from "somewhere," and that a lot of effort and creativity and generosity and even pain and suffering went into all that is a part of your days that you take for granted. [MEntity] You will not know what went into everything that got to your home tonight, but it is there now, and it is a part of your days, your nights, your comforts, your challenges, etc. [MEntity] Accepting that these things are in your home does not mean that you cannot deal with them effectively, help transform them, or even remove them. [MEntity] And that is how the unacceptable is in your life, as well. It is a part of the package of what your life is, and accepting that does not mean that you cannot deal with them effectively, help transform them, or remove them. [MEntity] We do have much more to say on this topic, of course, but we think this is a start in helping each of you to, at least, soften the effects of the unacceptable, and then to begin the efforts of accepting from there, all the while aiming for Agape and Self-Love. [MEntity] We must conclude here for now. [MEntity] Good day to each of you.