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  1. OMW - Feb 5, 2011 - Loving and Being Loved (Four and 1/2 hours of live channeling) (Note: linked to two other transcripts that should be read and/or referred to; plus, I'd recommend reviewing the "Manifesting Essence" workshop transcript, AND reviewing the three articles on "Creating a Conscious Connection to Essence" on TLE in the Advanced Teachings section of the Forums.) [Geraldine] (The one thing the transcripts can't show are the long pauses) [Michael Entity] Hello to everyone. We are here. We can begin with a discussion of the requested topic of Loving and Being Loved. First, we will point out that what we will discuss today, in all of its parts and degrees and rings and facets and levels, that this discussion is focused on UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Depending on your preference, Unconditional Love does have degrees, or circles, rings, facets, etc. It is not that each of these is greater or better in any evolutionary way, but that these describe the various CONTEXTS within which Love is experienced. For instance, the Nurturing Ring of Love between Mother and Child can be unquestioned, unshakable, and completely free of conditions, but this does not mean the Mother has Comprehensive Love or Agape for her child. Each Ring encompasses the previous Ring, if you will, and therefore Agape (the 7th Ring), for instance, will include Nurturing Love (the 1st Ring), but the emphasis will not necessarily be on the Nurturing. It simply means that Agape can more easily draw upon the Nurturing Ring of Love, but does not mean it will. We realize we are jumping around these Rings of Love, but that is only because we wish to point out the Unconditional element that will be consistent among all the ways we will discuss Love today. We will present the information more orderly from here. We also wished to point out that Love is not necessarily a linear development, despite the Degrees, Facets, Rings, etc. Once you Love, you LOVE. The rest is details. The next thing we would like to point out is that once you Love, you cannot UN-LOVE. If you can "un-love," then you did not Love. No matter how unromantic or disappointing that is to know; if you can unlove someone, you never loved that person, at least not in the terms that we are discussing Love today. Being angry or disappointed or frustrated or separating or upset or grieving are not signs that you have unloved someone. Love INCLUDES those feelings. And that is a profound key to understanding your Love for Self and Other. Love ALLOWS for everything. Hence, its Unconditional State. Loving the Self or Other does not mean bliss, though it can be blissful. It means allowing room for everything that is, was, and will be. Before we go into the dynamics of the Personality and how Loving and Being Loved works within each Lifetime, we will point out the general themes for each Role and how that pursuit of Loving and Being Loved shows up over lifetimes. Every Role has its blind spot to love, and when that blind spot finds light, that Role usually experiences a profound exposure to Love. Before describing these generalities for the Roles, we will say that every fragment, regardless of the Personality, lifetime, circumstances, etc, is ALWAYS LOVED by someone, somewhere, in some way. First, there is the Love from your own Essence that cannot be altered. Its baseline is Love, Unconditional and constant. However, it learns to Love in different ways over lifetimes until all Facets or Degrees, etc., are collected as experiences and developed strongly. But there is no lifetime that is born without at least the Nurturing Love of Essence. However, more than that Loves you. If you are animated, conscious, and living your life, you are Loved. It is one of the primary life forces that allows for Sentience. That being said, the Role does have its own blind spots to Love in terms of receiving it, despite its capacity for giving it to its own Personalities. No amount of rejection or blind spots can deter Love, for the Essence or the Personality, but it can deter the conscious experience of it, and that conscious experience of it is vital for collecting all forms of Love over lifetimes. We will describe those now: For SERVERS, the experience of Loving comes so easily that at some point over the lifetimes there is a period of time where it is blocked as much as possible so that there is a well-rounded experience of Love, and this gives insight into how to work around blockages in others. This period of blockage is cyclical and within each Level of Soul Age, so it is rather common enough that we can describe it as a pattern of significance. Servers, then, more than most Roles, tend to need PROOF OF LOVE in order to bring light to through their blind spot. Keep in mind that we are describing blind spots, and the means through which to bring light to that blind spot, but these conditions for experiencing Love does not equal a distortion of Love or a lack of Love. Love, if you will, does not mind the hoops that each of us requires of it, which we realize is a paradox or irony. In other words, the person who Loves the Server who requires Proof would not be offended by that necessity for Proof, and would allow room for that necessity. Because Servers are often so overlooked or taken for granted, this wish for Proof make go on as a silent longing, and the Server may never give voice to that craving. They may even dissuade it or dismiss the attempts. At first. But they will also know when it is true. When it is Love. And that will not be forgotten. PRIESTS, more than any other Role, tend to require being SURPRISED by Love as a means to bring light to their blind spot. Priests will often note that they are Loved, and even feel that Love, because, like all Roles, there is a default kind of Love that shows up in various ways. The Servers' is Nurturing, while the Priests' is Altruism. That Altruism is a faceless kind of Love, so the blind spot is the focusing of Love on a face, so to speak. There is nothing more profound, in terms of Love, to a Priest than to suddenly realize he or she IS Loved. By someone specific, or for a specific reason, or quality. Priests rather presume they are Loved, in general, but when that is given a face or a form, it sheds light in their blind spot. ARTISANS, more than any other Role, usually need to SEE that they are Loved as a means to bring light to their blind spot. By this we mean that they are often quite affected by displays of Love, showcasing of Love, an aesthetic means of bringing it to their attention. Artisans, despite their capacity to Create, have the most challenging time HAVING, and therefore, when Love is made tangible in some way that is beautiful to them, Love is let in. SAGES, more than any other Role, need you to TELL THEM that they are Loved, in order to bring light to their blind spot. More than any other Role, they need to hear it. You can be the most difficult and challenging person in his or her life, but if you can express a heartfelt, genuine Love into WORDS, the Sage knows that everything will be ok. Though it is important for the words to be genuine, even the most-fleeting of "I Love You's" for a Sage can often make a difference. But the more genuine, the more profound the embedding of that Love. WARRIORS, more than any other Role, tend to require you to WIN THEM OVER to Love as a means to bring light to their blind spot. This is different from "proving" Love, in that it does not require proof as much as it does endurance. Of course, that endurance is often experienced as Loyalty, and Loyalty is Love to the Warrior. KINGS, more than any other Role, tend to require you to LET THEM LOVE YOU FIRST before he or she can let you love him or her. Of course, this does not mean you cannot Love the King, but it does mean that he may not experience it until he has decided he can Love you. "Letting the King Love You First" would simply mean that you go about your business of being yourself, with no airs, no pretense, no agenda, and this gives the King time to Love you. The SCHOLAR, more than any other Role, tends to require you to LOVE THEM ANYWAY, as a means to bring light to their blind spot. Scholars, of all Roles, have the hardest time understanding and experiencing Love, and therefore can be quite obtuse to these matters. Your Love must "make sense" to them before they can experience it, and no matter what you do, say, or are can alter the process of the Scholar needing to find the equation that fits to make that sense. The more data you can provide, the better, which means this Role more than most needs to be pushed into Love, led with a strong hand and heart. We will recap briefly each of the Roles for consistency of correlations so that you can see the pattern: SERVERS - need Proof - defaults to Nurturing Love PRIESTS - need Surprises/Faces - defaults to Altruistic Love Both of these factors of need are extensions of the correlating Chief Negative Features of Self-deprecation and Arrogance, which are about Being Seen Too Closely, and Not Being Seen Close Enough. Self-deprecation is about Not Being Seen Close Enough, or Being Invisible, etc, hence the necessity for Proof that you can see that fragment. Arrogance is about being Seen Too Closely, being Too Vulnerable, but if you can expose yourself, show your face, it can help the Priest to overcome that obstacle. ARTISANS - need to SEE Love - default to Alliance Love SAGES - need to HEAR Love - default to Comprehensive Love The needs here relate to Self-Destruction and Greed, which are about Having Too Much, and Not Having Enough. It could be said, then, that the Artisan needs permission to WANT Love, while the Sage needs permission to NEED Love. Demonstrating Love for the Artisan is acceptable to the Artisan because once it is in creation, and created for him or her, it is often okay then to Want it. Telling the Sage that you Love her, and telling her often, is important to the Sage because it means that it is okay to Need that Love. Artisans can tend to "take" love if it is not offered, creating manipulative strategies to secure it without looking like she wants it, and the Sage can often come off as "needy" and resort to quiet or demonstrative tantrums in her wish for more direct and honest expressions of Love. WARRIORS - need to be Won Over - defaulting to Reciprocal Love KINGS - need you to Let Them Love - defaulting to Agape Love These needs are correlated to MARTYRDOM and IMPATIENCE, which are about Losing Control of Space, and Losing Control of Time. In other words, the Warrior needs shared "territory" to Love, and The King needs shared "time" to Love. SCHOLAR - needs to be Pushed to Love - defaulting to Appreciative Love The Scholar's needs are extensions of Stubbornness, and this means in terms of Love that there is resistance to new input, new data, new meanings, etc. The Scholar, then, needs EXPERIENCE/Experiments to Love. Before we continue, we will now open the floor to questions about what has been shared so far, and invite your validation for what we have shared regarding your Role. We know that each of these descriptions may apply because of imprinting and generalities, but there may be some sense of truth to the insights ******QUESTIONS******* [Geraldine] My validation would include -- as a sage-cast sage, I don't believe all words; I've learned to be wary of liars -- but I would say that "while the Sage needs permission to NEED Love." is a major Bingo even though both of my CFs are arrogance [Maureen] Just a thought - I can see this is spot on - but I can also see the confusion this creates 'loving' across roles [nicholas] I resonate w/ that, too G. I have often felt it was not okay to be/feel NEEDY of love...until recently:-) [Michael Entity] Yes, Maureen, we will get to that in the next part of our discussion and hope to shed light on that process. [jana_kunft] I had a sort of similar question - If I have Impatience as CF, not self destruction ("Artisany" CF), would my blind spot not come more out of that Impatience rather then out of self-destruction (an Artisan CF)? [Michael Entity] Jana, what we have described above are blind spots for the ESSENCE. This means it will be consistent across lifetimes, regardless of the Chief Negative Feature of the Personality during that lifetime. [jana_kunft] Ah I see [Michael Entity] In other words, "you" may fear losing control time (impatience) because of factors specific to experiences in this life, and this will affect your Personality's experiences related to Love, but the blind spot of Essence would affect how your Essence experiences what "you" have gathered as experiences of Love. It is not that the Essence has a Chief Negative Feature, but that the correlating Chief Feature helps describe the inherent blind spot of Essence. Think of the Chief Feature correlation as being the "Achilles' heel" of that Role, whereas the Chief Feature developed by Personality is the same for itself. Also, keep in mind that Personality is incapable of Loving. It is only Essence that can Love. The more present the Essence in the life, the more the Personality experiences Love, but it cannot do so on its own. Therefore, the Chief Negative Feature of the Personality might be said to be an obstacle to the embrace of Essence, and the inherent blind spot for Essence is an obstacle to the embrace of Love. [ClaireC] Your description of the Scholar needing to be pushed describes my experience of "going along" with situations and not knowing if this is true love. [Michael Entity] Claire, this is why we think that EXPERIENCE is the key to the Scholar eventually embracing Love. They must KNOW it is Love before they can embrace it, which means that it must make sense, or at least have meaning. The problem is when the Scholar seeks to plug the experience of Love into equations that have not made room for it. The more experience the Scholar gains, the more she begins to realize what was Love all along. More than most Roles, the Scholar tends to realize "too late" just how much she was/is Loved, but she realizes it, eventually. [ClaireC] Yes, I get it. Thank you. [Michael Entity] Yes, Jana. Another question? [jana_kunft] Would not loving someone for a specific reason or quality (as you have mentioned in connection with Priests), be loving them conditionally? [Michael Entity] Jana, first we need to clarify that some of our wording in the sharing above is in need of correction. For instance, "The King needs time to BE Loved." Not "to love." All of what we shared above is about the reception of Love by a Role. Next, what we have shared so far is a matter of language, so to speak. [jana_kunft] I realise language can be confusing, I meant, I am sometimes not clear about the distinction between, conditional, unconditional, romantic fantasy etc. But I realise this may be a hefty subject to get into and was to a large part also answered elsewhere [Michael Entity] If one were to say "I LOVE YOU" in Cantonese to someone who can only speak and understand Italian, or vice versa, it would not mean that the Cantonese person does not love, and it would not mean that the Italian is rejecting that Love, but to learn how to say it a language that can be heard bridges the gap, or the "blind spot." [jana_kunft] oh i see what you meant by language now [Michael Entity] In fact, it could be said that "blind spot" or "language of love" are interchangeable concepts that can help one to understand what we are sharing here so far. Therefore, the "Language of Love" for the Sage, for instance, is vocal expression. For the Artisan, it could be said to be Presentation. For the King, it is Time; for the Warrior, Space or Territory. For the Scholar, it is Experience; for the Server it is Proof; for the Priest it is Surprise/Faces, standing out. More specific to the Sages, it might be more accurate to say "reassurances." [Geraldine] But, Michael, all of those words words words are coming from other Personalities who cannot love [nicholas] but Geraldine, I think that no matter the words, when essence is manifesting, the love can be felt... [jana_kunft] so what you gave us is like a inter-Role dictionary of Love [Michael Entity] Geraldine, that is where your own Personality's developing capacity for discernment comes in. Regardless of that capacity, your Essence will know when it is Love, even if it is outwardly rejected or downplayed by your Personality. And Nicholas is correct: the experience of Love by Personality is to the extent that Personality has embraced/manifested Essence. Personality can reject and deny Love its entire life, and still have a reservoir of Love waiting for it after the life, which was collected by Essence along the way, with or without the Personality realizing it. Part of the 7th Internal Monad, actually, is the process of integrating all of the Love that was not integrated during the lifetime. Yes, Jana, it could be said to be a reference, at least, for how one Role might Love another Role, if one so chooses to do so. [Tim_W] Experiencing unconditional love through Essence; would that be similar to the compassion one feels when channeling/attempting to channel a higher Entity? [Michael Entity] At least one Circle of Love (level, degree,...) must be sustained during any valid Channeling of a fragment, an Entity or even the manifestation of Essence. For the most part, the default Circle of Love tends to be the foundation for any individual Channeling or Manifesting Essence. [Tim_W] oh ok. I understand. However much I'm manifesting would be the most I'm able to feel. [Michael Entity] For instance, our Artisan Channels tend toward ALLIANCE as their foundation for our working through them. There is often a necessity to create a state of unconditional alliance in place for the students who work with our Artisans. For our Sage channels, the tendency is toward a foundation of COMPREHENSION for our work through them. [Tim_W] oh i (actually) see now. [Tim_W] That's great information! Thank you [Michael Entity] For Sages, a state of Unconditional Truth is necessary to be in place for those students who work with us through them. This means, they have to "be themselves" more than our other channels, and have an outlet for that, and usually generate a profound awareness that no truth is meant to be personal or offensive, but simply a stepping stone toward even greater truths. [Martha] sounds like a certain channel we know [Michael Entity] Yes, that was an easy one to get through Troy. [nicholas] Do these rings of love represent forces or frequencies of love? And, in terms of healing, does each default ring for each essence role tend to be the type of love offered to another for healing? [Michael Entity] We like to see Love as having concentric rings, or spheres within spheres, much like the Planes are arranged, so that each context includes the previous. However, though it may seem to be a progressive description, it is not. It is more a description of INCLUSIONS than steps or levels. Many fragments do tend to move through the Rings in a progression, but that is only in terms of realization, not experience. For instance, you may experience Comprehensive Love but still have to realize the Nurturing Love within that, which leads to a realization of Alliance, which leads to a realization of Reciprocity, and so on. Think of the parent who may love her child Comprehensively, but the child only realizes he is Nurtured Unconditionally. Over time, that child may grow to realize that he is also Loved for exactly who he is and wants to be (comprehension), not just Loved as a way to be kept alive. In terms of Healing, yes. The default capacity for Love tends to be the means by which a fragment will focus that healing. For instance, the Sage tends to share the truth (comprehension) as a means for healing, whereas the Priest might focus on Altruism, which is just another way of saying "empathy." Or "compassion." Of course, no fragment is locked into its Role's default, but if there were no inherent defaults, the stable force of Love would not exist. [Diane] In general, please, what are the inclusions when a new parent has a realization that their parents did actually love them? [Michael Entity] That experience, Diane, is often AGAPE, itself. It is the total loss of conditions on any level, and the complete realization of all of the Circles of Love that encompassed your own development. This does not mean "forgiveness" or that anger and resentment fade instantly, but Agape allows room for those, while still holding the realization of Love. "I can still be angry at you for certain things, but I can also know that you were doing your best to love me." We have already shared a great deal of information about the 7 Circles/Spheres of Love, so we would suggest Troy or Geraldine link to that work in this transcript. [Geraldine] I've found it and will include it in the transcript [Michael Entity] To continue with the elaboration on the non-linear aspects of Love: While each context is inclusive of the previous context/s, Love can be "entered" or shared from any context. So while the default may be Reciprocity, one can build from there, or emphasize from there. To build would be to go beyond Reciprocity, and to emphasize would be to bring forth those contexts within Reciprocity. What we have described so far is related to LOVE, which is technically a capacity known only to Essence. The Personality can Experience and Realize Love, but it cannot Love. This is not a handicap or bad news. No more than it would be to say that your car cannot drive itself. This does not diminish the Personality any more than it would diminish the importance of the car for your needing it to get to where you want to go. [Martha] I don't think I understand the distinction between knowing and experiencing love [Michael Entity] While Essence defaults to a certain context of Love, it cannot learn to Love without you. We will respond to Martha, before elaborating. Did you mean "experiencing" vs "realizing"? [Martha] it feels to me like "I" know love [Martha] as a personality [Martha] so I don't quite get what you mean [Martha] vs only an Essence knowing love [nicholas] to me it means that personality can experience love...but essence is the only "thing" that can love, resonate, complete a circuit with, etc... [Michael Entity] We do not think we said that only Essence can know Love. We said that the Personality can Experience and Realize Love, but it cannot Love. [jana_kunft] yeah i think the confusion comes from you saying that is [Martha] do you mean the personality cannot generate love, only an essence can [jana_kunft] loving is a capability only known to Essence [Martha] and if we feel it, we've opened to the love [Diane] the love you are feeling is your connection to essence [nicholas] ...because essence IS love... [Michael Entity] For many of our students, the blur between Essence and Personality is so great that our differentiation is confusing. [Tim_W] The personality wouldn't be capable of loving without essence [Michael Entity] The Personality is the vehicle for the expression, exchange, and experience of Love, but it is not the source of it. In the same way that a car is a vehicle for your socializing, tasking, and adventures, but is not the source of them. Your Essence MUST be present for the Personality to express, exchange, and experience Love. Just as you MUST be present for your car to get to social engagements, tasks, and adventures. [Geraldine] So, we could say that certain behavioral illnesses such as sociopathy or psychopathy are caused by those people failing to manifest Essence? [Michael Entity] The only problem with this metaphor is that, in the case of Personality and Essence, the Essence is in the passenger's seat. That would be fair to say in most cases, Geraldine. [jana_kunft] oh right - the Personality can make decisions, unlike a car [Michael Entity] Though we would not use the word "failing." Essence never imposes, Jana. It is passive unless invited into the equation (manifested). Martha, when we differentiate between the Essence and Personality in terms of capacity for Loving, we do so in technical terms, but for those in a body, with a Personality, who are Manifesting Essence, these technicalities would seem moot. What we will share next may help you understand the technical differences. Each of your Personalities come equipped with tendencies that are described by Overleaves. Those Overleaves and their tendencies color the pursuit and receipt of experiences that are about Loving and Being Loved. The Choices and Decisions made by Personality set up the experiences and opportunities for Essence to then Love and Be Loved. The more one is manifesting Essence, then the more the Personality shares in those experiences. The paths that Personality takes toward Love are universal among Sentience: Intimate, Social, and Task Paths. Or put another way: Inspirational/Emotional Paths, Expressive/Intellectual Paths, and Action/Moving Paths. Depending on the Path that you are focused on, certain parts of your Personality/Overleaves will be ignited and ignite in others. In general, when it comes to Intimate Paths, the Modes are ignited as the means of pursuing Love. Social Paths ignite the Attitudes; and Task Paths ignite the Goal. True Love, or the Manifestation of Essence through two or more fragments, of course, ignites all of these. For the most part, when you want to grow closer to someone, you tend to Give and Receive through the Modes. You explore each others' Modes, and your Mode describes what you find as attractive about another person that you might pursue. For the most part, when you socialize, you present your Attitudes as your means of exchange. This means at new gatherings, reunions, and often in the work place, you are seeing each others' Attitudes play our more prominently than the other Overleaves. This is why politics get so involved in groups, because the Attitudes are the hub of the Personality, and most susceptible to defense/Chief Features, so gossiping, cliques, and "like-mindedness" bonding occurs. For the most part, when sharing a focus on Tasks or projects, your Goals will rise to prominence. Knowing which of your Overleaves, or which of the Overleaves of another, might be of emphasis, can help bring more consciousness to the exchanges and experiences, thus giving greater opportunities for the Personality to Realize and Experience Love. For instance, a person in Passion Mode is most attracted to the Soul Age of another fragment, because this taps into a kind of transcendence above time and space that Passion Mode tends toward. For those in Passion Mode, yesterday is not much different from tomorrow in terms of measuring time and space. However, Passion Mode often needs an anchor in time and space, and can tend to use those with whom he or she is trying to love, so those fragments become extensions of the person in Passion Mode, representing him or her. Understanding this about Passion Mode can help bring both the person in Passion Mode into an awareness of these tendencies, and the person who is in the relationship with Passion Mode, so that room is made for loving, instead of defenses or offenses. We also have an article already written through Troy about the Modes, which we suggest linking to this transcript for more exploration. Within the limited time left, we will share the sub-paths of each Path. These Paths and sub-paths are the ways in which the Personality "loves," or creates the way for Essence to actually Love. In the pursuit of Intimacy, the paths created for Essence to Love and Be Loved can be Companionship, or Fatuousness. Companionship is long-term and serious, whereas Fatuousness is short-term and whimsical. In pursuit of Socializing, the paths for Essence to Love and Be Loved can be Friendship or Infatuation. Friendship is the long-term sharing of philosophies, whereas Infatuation is the short-term acquiring of philosophies. In the pursuit of Tasks, the paths created for Essence to Love and Be Loved would be Commitment or Romance. Commitment is the long-term sharing of direction, whereas Romance is the short-term negotiation of directions. Of course, we have much more to share on this topic, and we have shared as much as we can in the extended time allotted for this group, but we think this is enough to spark new explorations of Love, Loving, and Being Loved. We will conclude here, then, and continue this discussion through Troy as he allows for us to in the exchanges of your new support group. Good evening to each of you. Goodbye.
  2. Janet

    PRIESTS - Loving and Being Loved

    [Excerpted from: OMW: Loving and Being Loved] MEntity: Before we go into the dynamics of the Personality and how Loving and Being Loved works within each Lifetime, we will point out the general themes for each Role and how that pursuit of Loving and Being Loved shows up over lifetimes. Every Role has its blind spot to love, and when that blind spot finds light, that Role usually experiences a profound exposure to Love. … PRIESTS, more than any other Role, tend to require being SURPRISED by Love as a means to bring light to their blind spot. Priests will often note that they are Loved, and even feel that Love, because, like all Roles, there is a default kind of Love that shows up in various ways. The Servers' is Nurturing, while the Priests' is Altruism. That Altruism is a faceless kind of Love, so the blind spot is the focusing of Love on a face, so to speak. There is nothing more profound, in terms of Love, to a Priest than to suddenly realize he or she IS Loved. By someone specific, or for a specific reason, or quality. Priests rather presume they are Loved, in general, but when that is given a face or a form, it sheds light in their blind spot. SERVERS - need Proof - defaults to Nurturing Love PRIESTS - need Surprises/Faces - defaults to Altruistic Love Both of these factors of need are extensions of the correlating Chief Negative Features of Self-deprecation and Arrogance, which are about Being Seen Too Closely, and Not Being Seen Close Enough. Self-deprecation is about Not Being Seen Close Enough, or Being Invisible, etc, hence the necessity for Proof that you can see that fragment. Arrogance is about being Seen Too Closely, being Too Vulnerable, but if you can expose yourself, show your face, it can help the Priest to overcome that obstacle.
  3. Janet

    Narcissism

    [Excerpt from Ask Michael: March 2014] [brian] Hi Michael, could you describe what Narcissism is in relation to the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual bodies and how to reduce or eliminate its causes and effects, both internally and towards others? MEntity: Narcissism, in relation to the different bodies, would simply be a matter of contexts for where narcissism is upheld. It would not be much different in any of those contexts, though. Narcissism is often an extreme of either Arrogance or Self-deprecation, and is developed as a means of protecting what has come to be accepted as the most fragile thing in one's life: THE SELF. Those in extreme Self-deprecation or Arrogance where valid narcissism has developed will tend to have a very difficult time hearing, or listening to, anything that contradicts their conclusions; will have a very difficult time focusing on anything other than the preservation or serving of the self; will actively or passively refuse to accept that any social rules or contracts are applicable to them; will often hear any insights or suggestions for help to be merely criticisms and insults to them; will tend to default to the distraction of blame of anything other than the self for what goes awry in the life; and will tend to consider any instances of helplessness, anger, or depression to be the cause of someone else. Or something else. So the key for addressing this, even though it is an extreme, is the same for addressing any issues of self-esteem. It can be a long road to recovery, but the individual would have to come to terms with the fact of fragility in others, as a way to recognize the strengths within the self. This is because the one thing that locks those in Self-deprecation or Arrogance away from confidence is the idea that they are somehow less than what another person wishes them to be, or more than what another person can handle. To address someone in Narcissism, we would have to discuss with that person, specifically, the more detailed suggestions that could help that are relative to the causes of that person's fears. In general, though, the narcissist can start by allowing his or her fragility, and honoring that fragility in others. [brian] Is it possible for someone in Narcissism to actually care about others, even if they have difficulty expressing it appropriately? Or are they truly "in it for themselves?" MEntity: The irony here is that this can then become a source of empathy and strength that no longer requires defenses. Brian, that tends to depend on Soul Age. The younger souls tend toward this condition as a form of near-erotic love and admiration for the self as a way to compensate for that which feels makes him or her so different from others. Older souls will tend to go in the other direction, despising themselves, and desperately seeking to be rescued from the trap of those differences that define them, thus creating many inappropriate scenarios, or constant crossing of boundaries. This is not to say that the narcissist does not care, but that the caring is often conditional on how well it distracts the narcissist from his own disgust. So the older narcissist would want to begin to treat himself or herself with the same eagerness to care and nurture and love as he or she would any other person.
  4. [Excerpt from TT: 2014-05-25 Michael Speaks] [MEntity] SELF-DEPRECATION and ARROGANCE are attachments to how one defines one's self. [MEntity] Self-Deprecation is the fear of NOT BEING ENOUGH, while Arrogance is the fear of BEING TOO MUCH. [MEntity] Self-deprecation fears not being seen clearly, while Arrogance fears being seen too clearly. [MEntity] Self-deprecation finds its scraps of self-esteem in being first to the punch for cutting himself or herself down. This is Self-deprecation's way of protecting the self from being invisible or feeling invisible or incompetent. The defense here is that if the individual can call out or showcase his or her own flaws first, then it is a way to show that he or she is on board with what they presume you will undoubtedly see, or are seeing already. [MEntity] It is the only way they know how to be seen: through the lens of failures, flaws, insecurities, and doubts. [MEntity] Arrogance, on the other hand, tries to protect its self-esteem by creating as protective a veneer as possible, hiding his or her insecurities behind a persona of false-confidence, offense, and defense. Since there is very little self-esteem here, it must be protected at all costs, often by deflecting through pointing out someone else's flaws or incompetence. [MEntity] It is the only way they know how to keep any sense of self-esteem, by pretending that it exists in greater quantities than it does. [MEntity] Self-deprecation points out its own flaws, and Arrogance points out yours. Arrogance [MEntity] The 7 Angles of Behavior for transforming ARROGANCE might be: [MEntity] 1. NO ONE IS LOOKING [MEntity] For those in Arrogance, the fear that everyone is watching them is high. There is a keen sense that every move and choice and action is being scrutized and of high relevance to others. In most cases, that is simply not true. No one is watching you. Most do not care if your hair is messed up, you stumbled, or if you are meeting your own standards or expectations. [MEntity] 2. CELEBRATE PRIVATELY [MEntity] For many in Arrogance, there is a compulsion to make it known to others every little success, to point out immediately a win, or to even "humblebrag," which is a self-congratulation tucked into a false self-deprecation. [MEntity] Allow yourself celebrate yourself with yourself. [MEntity] Your successes are just as real with or without being used as a means for defining yourself to others. [MEntity] See if you can embrace a success on your own without recruiting others to celebrate you. [MEntity] 3. CELEBRATE OTHERS [MEntity] Sometimes those in Arrogance can be so preoccupied with presuming everyone is watching them, that they forget to pay any meaningful attention to others. [MEntity] 4. LEAVE YOURSELF ALONE [MEntity] Those in Arrogance can be even harsher in self-criticism than those in Self-deprecation. [MEntity] Self-deprecation can slide into a quiet defeat, but Arrogance can be relentless. [MEntity] Many in Arrogance are their own worst bullies, if you will, taking on the voices of their past that criticized them, owning them so as to find some of their self-esteem in "siding" with this self-loathing. [MEntity] 5. LEAVE OTHERS ALONE [MEntity] Those in Arrogance can be of the worst bullies toward others, as well, actively or passively condescending in tone, words, behaviors, etc. [MEntity] If you find that you are talking down about another person, or yourself (see 4), behaving in a way that is not constructive, or helpful, but simply emphasizing flaws, then it may be time to look at how you are giving rise to voices of criticism that you carry about yourself. [MEntity] Criticism is helpful and meaningful, but not when only used as a means of deflection or protection. [MEntity] 6. EMBRACE EQUALITY [MEntity] By this we mean that while there will always be nuances among everyone and everything, with great gaps between common grounds, with some being better at some skills than others, or more socially celebrated than others, or even unfairly rewarded more than others, there is still profound relevance to the common ground of humanity and existence. In other words, allow comparisons to be informative, not defining. [MEntity] When you see or feel you are better than another, or that another is acting as if better than you, then remind yourself of as much that you share as possible. This does not mean you are not better at what you do than someone else might be, or that another person is not more attractive to more people than you may be, but let yourself have that which is equally true, as well. You do not have to pretend there are no differences, but do not pretend there are no similarities, either. [MEntity] 7. INVITE INTIMACY [MEntity] More than most other Chief Features, Arrogance will keep others at a distance, even as they often feign being very open and up front with you. [MEntity] Many in Arrogance will carefully construct a spectrum of revealing behaviors and expressions that others presume is all there is to know or see about that person, thus protecting the person in Arrogance from those who might otherwise pry. [MEntity] So it can be helpful for the person in Arrogance to take some responsibility and care in consciously inviting others to be close, not presuming that others will find their way, and then looking up and wondering where everyone is. [MEntity] Those in Arrogance can be of the loneliest people because they create the greatest moats of protection, but crave so desperately to be close at the same time. [MEntity] And so it can be helpful to actively invite intimacy, either in obvious ways such as literally asking for conversation, inviting to social events, etc, or by simply allowing the self to be present with another, listening, paying attention, and responding with care. Intimacy is not always about receiving attention, but about giving it
  5. Jana

    True Humility vs. True Pride

    What is true humility, and what is true pride – as opposed to, respectively, self-abasement and chest-thumping? [Troy] This is a great question, especially when a Chief Feature having a “positive pole” seems a contradiction. According to my work with Michael, they have commented on why Chief Negative Features can never, truly be “positive” and that is because the entire premise of a Chief Negative Feature is that it is based in DIVISION, or Separation. The negative pole usually describes a division that is BOTH within the self and between the self and the external world, whereas the positive pole describes a closure of the division within, but then remaining standing in division from the world. Don’t forget that Chief Negative Features are all just terms to describe the act of protecting yourself from something that is NATURAL. FROM MICHAEL: Self-deprecation is the act of protecting oneself from the natural experience of inadequacy. Inadequacy is not only NATURAL, but a vital part of the internal Inspirational process; somewhere within the life those in Self-Dep have determined they must fight against the experiences of Inadequacy, thus reducing all forms of personal Inspiration. The negative pole is Self-Abasement, which describes a division internally as created by an over-emphasis of every, single Inadequacy, while another part of you struggles to protect you from that. Protection comes in the form of proving to you that you are inadequate so you never try that again, using much external evidence to support this, thus dividing you from the world through amplified weaknesses and showcased failures. Humility is a step toward integration as internal divisions begin to mend, allowing room for successes, despite inadequacy, yet shunning any external acknowledgement of this, thus remaining divided from the world. Arrogance is the act of protecting oneself from the natural experience of Vulnerability. Vulnerability is not only NATURAL, but a vital part of process of gathering external Inspiration; somewhere within the life those in Arrogance have determined they must fight against the experiences of Vulnerability, thus reducing the experience of all forms of external Inspiration. The negative pole is Vanity, which describes a division internally as created by an over-emphasis of every, single Vulnerability, while another part of you struggles to protect you from that. Protection comes in the form of proving to you that you are exceptionally vulnerable so that you never expose yourself again, using much external evidence to support this, thus dividing you from the world through calculated, showcased superficialities or through private, wounded resentment (shyness). Pride is a step toward integration as internal divisions begin to mend, allowing room for exposure despite vulnerability, yet celebrating or highlighting differences as a means to remain divided from the world.
  6. What is true humility, and what is true pride – as opposed to, respectively, self-abasement and chest-thumping? [Troy] This is a great question, especially when a Chief Feature having a “positive pole” seems a contradiction. According to my work with Michael, they have commented on why Chief Negative Features can never, truly be “positive” and that is because the entire premise of a Chief Negative Feature is that it is based in DIVISION, or Separation. The negative pole usually describes a division that is BOTH within the self and between the self and the external world, whereas the positive pole describes a closure of the division within, but then remaining standing in division from the world. Don’t forget that Chief Negative Features are all just terms to describe the act of protecting yourself from something that is NATURAL. FROM MICHAEL: Self-deprecation is the act of protecting oneself from the natural experience of inadequacy. Inadequacy is not only NATURAL, but a vital part of the internal Inspirational process; somewhere within the life those in Self-Dep have determined they must fight against the experiences of Inadequacy, thus reducing all forms of personal Inspiration. The negative pole is Self-Abasement, which describes a division internally as created by an over-emphasis of every, single Inadequacy, while another part of you struggles to protect you from that. Protection comes in the form of proving to you that you are inadequate so you never try that again, using much external evidence to support this, thus dividing you from the world through amplified weaknesses and showcased failures. Humility is a step toward integration as internal divisions begin to mend, allowing room for successes, despite inadequacy, yet shunning any external acknowledgement of this, thus remaining divided from the world. Arrogance is the act of protecting oneself from the natural experience of Vulnerability. Vulnerability is not only NATURAL, but a vital part of process of gathering external Inspiration; somewhere within the life those in Arrogance have determined they must fight against the experiences of Vulnerability, thus reducing the experience of all forms of external Inspiration. The negative pole is Vanity, which describes a division internally as created by an over-emphasis of every, single Vulnerability, while another part of you struggles to protect you from that. Protection comes in the form of proving to you that you are exceptionally vulnerable so that you never expose yourself again, using much external evidence to support this, thus dividing you from the world through calculated, showcased superficialities or through private, wounded resentment (shyness). Pride is a step toward integration as internal divisions begin to mend, allowing room for exposure despite vulnerability, yet celebrating or highlighting differences as a means to remain divided from the world.
  7. Janet

    2008 Overleaves

    FROM THE ORIGINAL MBLOG ENTRY: It's that time of year again to take a look at how Michael interprets the year ahead in Overleaves! YAY! Before listing the overleaves for 2008, I include below an old excerpt that helps describe how Michael assigns Overleaves to a year. I don't know if you guys know this, but some channels get in the Overleaves for the year as they relate to their particular group/community, or sometimes the entire region around the area of that community, and other times it is just relative to their nation or continent, and then some receive the Overleaves for the globe. All are valid, but I've tended to find the global overleaves to be most relevant for use in the year for more people and helps us understand what is happening outside of our doors and not just in our personal circles. For instance, California can have its own set of overleaves, while the United States might have another set of Overleaves, and the planet having yet another set of Overleaves. Sometimes they are a match, sometimes they are in conflict. This year there is a LOT of pockets of varying Overleaf sets within the global set, which the global set helps explain. If you'd like to know your local Overleaves, just let me know. MICHAEL'S STATEMENT ABOUT THE OVERLEAVES FOR A YEAR Our Overleaves system can be used to describe any collection of energies, ranging from the dynamics of the actual Personality to the general “mood” of a room, society, fictional character, theme of groups, or a planet’s general atmosphere of consciousness. In addition to this, when a block of time is selected, that time frame can be translated into a description of energies based on what we perceive as the momentum of events, consciousness, and choices that will POTENTIALLY contribute to that period of time. The Overleaves for a year, then, are our interpretation of those events, consciousness, and choices as we see that they are most likely to be brought to bear in your world. The more participating one is in “the world,” the more likely these energies will be of concern, though one’s inactivity does not exempt one from world or local energies, anymore than staying inside can take away the fact of a rainstorm. The rainstorm outside can have as much an effect on one inside as on one who is outside, depending on personal interpretations and experiences of that rainstorm. The very basic energy, or basic context, of a year can be described in two Overleaves: the Role and the Center. These two basic energies are those that can contribute to your year feeling "comfortable" or "challenged" during the year unfolding, depending on your own Overleaves and your method of participation in "the world." These two energies are most obvious in the first three months of a year, but their effects will remain steady throughout the year. In addition to these basic energies, the GOAL of the year will become implemented in those first three months, approximately. It can be said that ALL of the Overleaves we use to describe the year are in effect ALL year, but the particular frames of time described below are the "seasonal" emphasis of those particular Overleaf qualities. General “Seasonal” Energy emphasis: The ENTIRE YEAR is based within the energies of the ROLE and CENTERING. January through March implements and emphasizes the GOAL. April through June implements and emphasizes the MODE. July through September implements and emphasizes the ATTITUDE. October through December implements and emphasizes the CHIEF FEATURE. 2008 Global Overleaves ROLE: King Center: Emotional GOAL: Growth MODE: Perseverance ATTITUDE: Spiritualist CHIEF NEGATIVE FEATURE: Arrogance MICHAEL: As the year of 2008 begins, so will the unrolling of the energy that we would describe as KING and EMOTIONAL energies. These energies will more than likely describe the basic context of the coming year, based on our observations of momentum and patterns for your planet. Most fragments intend for this year to emphasize a true shift in leadership, authority, and guidance on a global scale (and on a personal level), but with the exploration rooted in Emotional Centering, the shift might come at some cost to some degree for some who will be disappointed, with near-bliss for others who are not disappointed. In a King year, politics tend to be amplified in the media and brought to an important individual level, and since this appears to be an Emotionally Centered year, we imagine this process will tend toward being "very personal," with reactions and expressions strong in response to the shifts during the year. This could be said to be a year of EXTREMES, emphasizing strong divisions of stance and approach to almost everything, as this is a year of Growth and this would mean to us that everyone will be searching for, and creating, MEANING from their perceptions and experiences. Contrasts in Meaning can indicate Division and Herding will ensue as each person seeks to find the "like-minded" and merge with the sanctuary of that crowd. With Perseverance in the air, we would expect that very few will "back down" in their personal perceptions and meanings when confronted with a difference, leading us to observe high potential for gang wars heightening in activity, political chaos to rise and flow forth, and escalation of war, in general. With Spiritualist in effect for the year, it can indicate a great deal of energy generated from unfounded BELIEFS and the efforts to impose those beliefs upon others as a form of validation, rather than seeking the inherent validation of a perception through verification. This could be said to be a year of absolute redirection toward a potential that has yet to have been tapped among the populations of the globe as a whole community, or an extreme set back in entrenching the divisions among various populations. The same could be said among smaller communities and families as those in authority persevere, unchanging in their agendas even at the cost of those who are "below" him or her. What we've described so far has been based on the momentum as it stands at this very point, but it is still a high probability that shifts can occur in the directions that would be deemed more "positive." While extremes will most likely remain a factor of 2008, those extremes could be seen as defining lines among populations and communities as a means to more clearly bring to each what is needed and wanted, using the heart as a bridge across those differences and sharing resources, offering inclusions, and either moving into authority a person who can tend to these variations, or moving the current authority toward a broader consciousness that can then tend to all differences. In another Emotionally-centered year, it might not be surprising that floods, pipe breaks, dehydration, and other water-related issues come up for individuals and smaller communities. As this is not a Higher Centered year, we don't suspect any major disasters resulting from floods, but this could change. From our perception at this point, the highest potential for "disaster" in terms of flooding might come in the form of a dam bursting. This disaster would be relative to the consciousness generating energy around the planet and if the extremes move increasingly toward division and battle, a dam burst would not be surprising. Because of the King energy and the Emotionally-centered year, we also suspect that "discoveries" will be a major theme throughout the year, though many of these discoveries will have happened rather further in the past, it might be deemed that announcements are appropriate now. We say this because when the King is mixed with Emotional Energy, it tends to be important to expose "secrets" as a means to maintain peace. In other words, the more people know (or think they know), the less restless and intent they tend to be in attention toward the authority at hand. Highlights during the year for the Older souls might be in the exciting transcendence of current levels of communication between Gorillas and Humans; a dramatic display of compassion from a pod of dolphins helping a family; and potential resurgence of several papers that were thought to have burned in the fires of Alexandrian libraries. We speak of these not as a prediction, but as having high probability for showing up in your current year. For our students we can suggest as the year unfolds from January through March that most of your emphasis is going to move toward creating or uncovering meaning in your days, your relationships, your work, etc. It will suddenly seem a strong motivating factor to continue doing what you are doing because you realize that you truly bring meaning to your life through its implementation, or you shift directions drastically, finally saying YES to the directions that you know now can generate and support meaning for you. This is the energy of Growth as it brings into emphasis the Evolution that is possible in every experience. Evolution on this level can only occur if one has created meaning for the experience. If no meaning has been created, Confusion occurs. We can say to those who relate to the Confusing energies that we suggest defining what you wish to gain as Meaning from your experiences FIRST before trying to randomly find meaning imposed upon you in ways that make no sense. We see most of our students feeling a burst of "taking charge" of the direction of life and "standing tall" within the chosen context. For instance, those who wish to Love might find a strong emphasis on standing strong and stating with conviction, "I CAN Love. I Love." Those who might have been quieter and more humble in their display of skills and talents might now find the energy to "own" those skills and talents without downplaying or dismissing them, finding better footing for the direction one would like to go with those skills and talents. It could be said that they might now "stand tall" and proclaim, "This IS who I am! I bring this to the world for all of us!" For some, the emphasis might be on finally "standing tall" and doing what has been avoided for years, gaining the strength to proclaim, "I CAN DO and I WILL! I am SAFE!" Regardless of the emphasis, the potential for fulfilling intent is high during 2008 and we can encourage all of you to consider harnessing that energy for leadership, growth, perseverance, potential, and perception. As this century emphasizes more than ever the importance of CHOICE, it could be said that the choice this year for the globe is based in the decisions along personal paths that then lead to choices on larger scales between PEACE and WAR, literally and figuratively. -Michael
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