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[Extracted from: NYC Michael Speaks: Wants & Needs of Essence Roles] MEntity: We understand that Troy has asked for us to discuss what we might describe as the WANT and the NEED of each Essence Role, so we’ve looked at this in a way that we hope will be easy to validate for each of you and your Roles. ... Next the Kings: Kings are consciously motivate by the WANT for INDEPENDENCE. There is a sense that they must hold their own, that they must fulfill that want in many different ways that all are associated with the term “independence.” We will say that that term is often defined differently among our different Kings, even among those in our own entity. We had our differences in what we considered “independent” and it is quite often contextual to the lifetime. But the King will tend toward that as a form of navigation, to want to fulfill their sense of independence, their sense of self-sufficiency, their sense of being their primary resource. This does not necessarily mean that they have to do this in any insular way, but they often do, cutting themselves off from others as a way of displaying or exemplifying their independence, but that is not necessary. That is why their NEED, and what they are subconsciously motivated by, is INTIMACY. [Comment] Wow. Look at that. Hooking up with the Sages! [Question] I feel independence, and this has been something that's been driving me crazy because of the contextual aspect of me being young and still supported by my family. Um, that factor made me actually doubt whether I'd even finished/exited my third internal monad in the positive pole. But you said it's not necessary to cut myself off? Because right now that's all I've been desperately trying to do. MEntity: To cut yourself off as a form of independence? [Comment] Yes. MEntity: No, that is not … as we said, there are going to be different definitions of what independence means. But, as we said as well, the wants and needs evolve over time. So the King realizes that “Oh, I do not have to cut out the rest of the world as a way of being independent. Oh, I do not have to cut out all of my resources as a way of being independent, but rather I can use my resources in a way that is my own.” They become a part of your independence. They become a source of your independence, a support for your independence. They are not in any way contradicting your independence. They become inclusive of your independence. And that is why the rite of passage that you described — the third internal monad, which is about the process of declaring and owning your independence, your self-sufficiency — can be done still while being supported, as long as you start to own the responsibility of how you use those resources. It is about that sense of responsibility for how you utilize those resources. But the need that will subconsciously motivate the navigations of life for a King often falls into terms of intimacy. They, more than — we will say not much more than the Scholar, but almost on par with the Scholar — have the most difficult time establishing a sense of intimacy, allowing that intimacy, that closeness to another, that confidence in another. In terms of the self, this intimacy is also about letting you get to know you as well. That intimacy is not just about others, as we said, these needs can be fulfilled on your own. Often, there is a denial of the self in the process of the life, and then the needs continually bring you back to experiences that, force you — not by external forces, but simply by terms of your navigation — put you in experiences that force you to learn more about yourself, to get to know you, and to accept you. So that is what we mean by intimacy in this case. It's not just about being close to another, but about also being internally aligned and close to yourself. Do you understand? Do the Kings in here resonate to these wants and needs? [Comment] Yes [Question] Is it common that Kings have a difficult time establishing intimacy because they want to be independent and they see that as a reflection of relying on someone else? MEntity: Yes. They can often pit those against each other. “To give in too much to intimacy means that I've given too much into dependence.” Ironically, one of the greatest ways for Kings to become the most independent is to allow dependence. Because the King, in terms of its manifesting essence, has to recognize its part in the dynamic of life, not as apart from the dynamic of life. They are not an island, but a part of a community. When the King owns that their sense of independence, their sense of resources, is also dependent on their exchanges with others, their recognizing valid resources, their recognizing and delegating appropriately around them … this is what mastery is. That is when the mastery comes in for the king, is when they are able to not just do it alone, but to have recognized who can do it with them. [Question] Is there a negative element to being a King where you might be very resistant or defensive to constructive feedback or criticism. So should you think “I can figure this out on my own,” and you almost, in a negative way that's self-defeating, don't want to accept what other people have to say that may actually help you? MEntity: Oh we remember the days. Yes, we are guilty of this in our incarnations as well. Many of us died for those very reasons trying to “figure it out on our own” and not allow input from other sources. We had to learn how to trust — and that would be the other term we might use in place of “intimacy,” is that you are motivated by that need for trust. You NEED to have that level of TRUST as a form of independence, because you have to trust those who are around you, providing for you, and contributing to your life in a way that matters to you. You must trust that. So the King will find himself or herself often in positions where they are challenging the concept of trust, and challenging the concept of intimacy/trust, questioning their level of trust and the trust of others. It can become quite a dominating issue in the life. Do the Kings here recognize this? To be more specific to your question, we wouldn't say that it is necessarily a negative thing to say “I want to do this myself.” It is only considered a negative thing if it is harming you to do so, or if it is not allowing you to get done what it is you'd like to get done when you are refusing support or input from another. Do you understand? [Comment] Yes [Question] We were talking about Role versus Casting earlier in conversation, and Troy had said on a daily basis we usually sort of project or demonstrate our Cast, but your Role, when everything's sort of in alignment is when your Role really shines. So I was thinking in terms of the king, ironically, does the king perhaps finally get to shine when he or she gets help when they need the help from other people, or rely on people for what they need to rely on them for, because they can't take care of those things on their own, and when they put all those ducks in a row, so to speak, that allows their essence to be made manifest and that's when they can shine. And sometimes they get in their own way because they don't think that they're allowed to reach out, and thus they're not shining. MEntity: You're speaking of Kings? [Comment] I'm speaking of Kings. I'm applying what we talked about earlier to this particular role of the King. MEntity: Yes. If we heard your question correctly, then yes. That sense of insularity and lack of independence can often be, as we said, precisely because they are not depending on and trusting those who are contributing. Did we hear the question correctly? [Comment] Right. Sometimes you need to reach out and get help elsewhere to put you in a position where you do get to shine as a King. MEntity: Yes. More often than not, the Kings will have that offered to them and it can become quite annoying to the King when people are trying to contribute when they are trying to figure things out on their own. They will often hear these forms of contribution as a din around them and miss that one key form of input that may have been beneficial to them, because they have written everyone off by that point, and it can be easy to miss that one or two sources that would have helped to elevate them in terms of independence. [Question] So what both of you were pretty much outlining was the process of delegation, right? Acknowledging that sometimes others will be able to do a better job at a certain task than you will. MEntity: Yes. There is that. We will say that delegation is combined with allowing as well. Delegation is more of an active recognition or seeking out of others who could contribute and allowance is that reception of those who are offering it. [Comment] Trusting them to do it. MEntity: Yes.
[This material was originally posted by DianeHB, a King, as a private session transcript on June 21, 2016. Permission was granted for placement in the Study Library. The material was edited to remove content irrelevant to this Study Library category.] DianeHB: Hello Michael. I recently had some issues with my assistant's attitude that made me really angry with her. Occasionally when I point out mistakes or instruct her to do something differently on the computer, she would interrupt me and repeatedly deny any mistakes so that I couldn't even get a word in to explain the mistake or train her how to do it correctly. ... MEntity: As for how to get through to the individual in question, repetitiveness is likely the only way. DianeHB: You mean just keep addressing the issue as it comes up? MEntity: It may require patience, but if the goal is to break through and to bring about change, then you must bring to her attention these mistakes over and over. But each time, you must reset your energy as if it is the first time. Any exasperation or anger motivating your approach may break the progress. "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." DianeHB: My challenge is I'm overworked myself and I'm really not in the mood to babysit people. MEntity: There are definitive dynamics in the workplace that arise as positive and negative roles/positions. Understanding how to navigate these as they arise can be quite empowering. Diane, it is important to consider two things here: If it is not part of your position to "babysit," then you likely have the right and power to escort the situation to someone who is in that position. Inform the individual that you will be partnering her with the person who can further help her. If it is part of your position to "babysit," then you must first stop referring to it as "babysitting." This is Tyranny. You may be overworked, and it is fair to be frustrated and exhausted, but you have the capacity to lead. Choose Leadership. They are not just people filling cogs, and then inconveniencing you when they fall short. They are human beings with lives, with fears, with inabilities and insecurities and overwhelm, as well. Choose Mastery. This is not just a scenario that is out to get you, but a scenario that can provide a rich learning experience and possibly change everything for you as you continue to claim your right to the energy that is yours. There will always be failing people. There will always be flailing people. There will always be mistakes. There will always be ups and downs and great days and stressful days. What Mastery allows is for you to keep the Human alive in there. DianeHB: Mastery is hard. People are hard. MEntity: When life becomes a matter of THINGS that need to stay in their place, you have moved to Tyranny. Life and People are a glorious mess. They are not just moving parts or made up of moving parts, but are containers of creativity, feeling, desire, sadness, joy, etc. You are not in optimum conditions. You know this. It is part of the built-in atmosphere for the moment. It is stressful. We know this. You know this. Everyone knows this. None of this will ever be a valid excuse for anyone to strip another of their Humanness. You were taught to strip yourself of your Humanness as a method for being a successful and silent cog. You called bullshit on this long ago. Now you are okay with being angry when you are angry and you know you have a right to be happy in your efforts to be successful. But in your waking up to this right for yourself, you may have forgotten to include freeing others along with you. Weakness and defensiveness in others is not something with which to be disgusted. It is an invitation to help another remember her Humanness. DianeHB: Thank you for reminding me. MEntity: This is not to make an excuse for poor performance or lack of skill that may cause more harm than good, but if it is only a matter of patience and kindness, then we can say that choosing the patience and kindness is valid. If others are at risk because of the lack of skill or mistakes, then that is a different context that requires action to help keep everyone from harm. You must make that call. We remind you of this Humanness, not just to help in your managing of others, but as a reminder of your own work toward Mastery. You do not seek the path of Mastery at the expense of your Humanness. Being responsible with and for your feelings is Good Work. Consider this: How effective would we be with our students if when they repeated "mistakes," we simply expressed anger, took it personally, or saw it as babysitting? Would it have been more effective for us to say, "For Tao's sake, get with it!"? Probably not. For some students we have to speak more directly, for others more poetically, for others in repetition, for others in layers, and so on. You may think that the comparison of our position to yours is a bit of a false equivalency or entirely different, but this would be untrue. DianeHB: LOL. That's exactly what I was thinking. But I don't disagree with your point about effectiveness. MEntity: One of the final "lessons" of the Old Soul is the ownership and responsibility of her position as Teacher. You are, all, Teachers. Your life is a Teaching. And your relationships, however brief, professional, deep, or shallow, are your Students. You may not be able to make this situation better. But if you approach it with your greatest kindness, patience, and consideration, you will know have done your best, and aimed for Mastery. ### end of transcript ### Note: You may comment on the original post. 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