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  1. KurtisM

    Kings and their Skillful Delegation

    [This material was originally posted by DianeHB, a King, as a private session transcript on June 21, 2016. Permission was granted for placement in the Study Library. The material was edited to remove content irrelevant to this Study Library category.] DianeHB: Hello Michael. I recently had some issues with my assistant's attitude that made me really angry with her. Occasionally when I point out mistakes or instruct her to do something differently on the computer, she would interrupt me and repeatedly deny any mistakes so that I couldn't even get a word in to explain the mistake or train her how to do it correctly. ... MEntity: As for how to get through to the individual in question, repetitiveness is likely the only way. DianeHB: You mean just keep addressing the issue as it comes up? MEntity: It may require patience, but if the goal is to break through and to bring about change, then you must bring to her attention these mistakes over and over. But each time, you must reset your energy as if it is the first time. Any exasperation or anger motivating your approach may break the progress. "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." "Oh, hey, let me show you how this is supposed to be done." DianeHB: My challenge is I'm overworked myself and I'm really not in the mood to babysit people. MEntity: There are definitive dynamics in the workplace that arise as positive and negative roles/positions. Understanding how to navigate these as they arise can be quite empowering. Diane, it is important to consider two things here: If it is not part of your position to "babysit," then you likely have the right and power to escort the situation to someone who is in that position. Inform the individual that you will be partnering her with the person who can further help her. If it is part of your position to "babysit," then you must first stop referring to it as "babysitting." This is Tyranny. You may be overworked, and it is fair to be frustrated and exhausted, but you have the capacity to lead. Choose Leadership. They are not just people filling cogs, and then inconveniencing you when they fall short. They are human beings with lives, with fears, with inabilities and insecurities and overwhelm, as well. Choose Mastery. This is not just a scenario that is out to get you, but a scenario that can provide a rich learning experience and possibly change everything for you as you continue to claim your right to the energy that is yours. There will always be failing people. There will always be flailing people. There will always be mistakes. There will always be ups and downs and great days and stressful days. What Mastery allows is for you to keep the Human alive in there. DianeHB: Mastery is hard. People are hard. MEntity: When life becomes a matter of THINGS that need to stay in their place, you have moved to Tyranny. Life and People are a glorious mess. They are not just moving parts or made up of moving parts, but are containers of creativity, feeling, desire, sadness, joy, etc. You are not in optimum conditions. You know this. It is part of the built-in atmosphere for the moment. It is stressful. We know this. You know this. Everyone knows this. None of this will ever be a valid excuse for anyone to strip another of their Humanness. You were taught to strip yourself of your Humanness as a method for being a successful and silent cog. You called bullshit on this long ago. Now you are okay with being angry when you are angry and you know you have a right to be happy in your efforts to be successful. But in your waking up to this right for yourself, you may have forgotten to include freeing others along with you. Weakness and defensiveness in others is not something with which to be disgusted. It is an invitation to help another remember her Humanness. DianeHB: Thank you for reminding me. MEntity: This is not to make an excuse for poor performance or lack of skill that may cause more harm than good, but if it is only a matter of patience and kindness, then we can say that choosing the patience and kindness is valid. If others are at risk because of the lack of skill or mistakes, then that is a different context that requires action to help keep everyone from harm. You must make that call. We remind you of this Humanness, not just to help in your managing of others, but as a reminder of your own work toward Mastery. You do not seek the path of Mastery at the expense of your Humanness. Being responsible with and for your feelings is Good Work. Consider this: How effective would we be with our students if when they repeated "mistakes," we simply expressed anger, took it personally, or saw it as babysitting? Would it have been more effective for us to say, "For Tao's sake, get with it!"? Probably not. For some students we have to speak more directly, for others more poetically, for others in repetition, for others in layers, and so on. You may think that the comparison of our position to yours is a bit of a false equivalency or entirely different, but this would be untrue. DianeHB: LOL. That's exactly what I was thinking. But I don't disagree with your point about effectiveness. MEntity: One of the final "lessons" of the Old Soul is the ownership and responsibility of her position as Teacher. You are, all, Teachers. Your life is a Teaching. And your relationships, however brief, professional, deep, or shallow, are your Students. You may not be able to make this situation better. But if you approach it with your greatest kindness, patience, and consideration, you will know have done your best, and aimed for Mastery. ### end of transcript ### Note: You may comment on the original post. See Mastery and Dealing with Reactions at Work.
  2. Janet

    More on the Goal of Dominance

    [Excerpt from private session in 2015: More on the Goal of Dominance] Maureen: I've been studying the Goal of Dominance in people I know and would like some validation. What I see is that they all have either spent a great deal of time sliding to Submission or they do exemplify leadership (like XX does) but they want to downplay their leadership value so as not to draw attention to it. It’s like even the ones that clearly use their Positive Poles are embarrassed about being known to “shine” as a leader or they see it as “too much” or “manipulation”, somehow, and don’t want to be “found out” that they have this “power”. I see this Goal as a strength, in each of them, so I find it hard to understand why they have such a hard time either acknowledging this Goal or want to dissociate from it or at least appear to. I feel like there may be a very simple explanation for this, perhaps cultural, and I may be complicating my understanding of it. Would you comment on a major theme that goes across the board for this Goal or if (only if) it would be helpful, for my understanding, would you comment on each of them. Nephew (Warrior-cast Sage), Nephew's mother (king-cast Warrior). Friend (Scholar-cast Warrior). Friend (Sage-cast Priest). Friend (Warrior-cast Sage). MEntity: First, as you know, this is a Goal. It is not a description of where one IS, but a description of where one is trying to go. This means that those in Acceptance, may not be accepting, but are trying to be. Those in Dominance may not be leaders, but are trying to be. Second, specific to any Exalted Goal is the dynamic of being exposed, seen, put into positions of responsibility, put into positions of obligation, put into positions of expectations, etc. Depending on the Role, other Overleaves, imprinting, gender, culture, etc, this makes for either a very appealing Goal or a terrifying Goal. Currently, more females have moved toward taking on this Goal, all while growing up in cultures that shame them, even punish them, for this effort. The association of reward vs punishment with the results of pursuing this Goal makes for many Personalities learning to do so in disguise, through stealth, strategy, or over long arcs of time so that no one notices. In addition to this, when Dominance "fails," they fail HARD. Failure to Dominance is as physically, emotionally, and intellectually painful as rejection is for Acceptance, or meaninglessness and pointlessness are for Growth. For your nephew, there is imprinting involved that comes from the modeling of Dominance from his mother. For the rest in your list, it is for the most part a matter of gender and culture. Some embrace the challenge of Dominance more readily than others, but each are coming to terms with their strengths of leadership.
  3. ENERGY REPORT January 2010 For most of our students, we saw the last three months of 2009 as being fairly liberating. The exploration of the Chief Negative Features become emphasized during October, November, and December, and last year's tended toward Impatience and Martyrdom. What we saw happening over 2009 was a genuine exploration of Flow, the Goal of last year, that allowed for a serious examination of how one deals with the challenges of life when there is a lack of control and power; in this case, a lack of control and power over time and often your space, those qualities linked to Impatience and Martyrdom, respectively. What could have turned into rather devastating and intense final few months of the year were met, instead, with resolve, patience, flexibility, pause, and reflection. However difficult the past year was, we have seen most of our students having brought a sort of softness to the process, a kind of trust, and an authentic surrender to those things that are simply not within the immediate control of the Personality. This pattern of reflection, pause, and gentle flexibility is helping to confidently launch 2010 into its Goal of Dominance, a clear indication to us that many are ready to direct the experiences of the next year, instead of simply "dealing with them." The Goal of Dominance is an effort to generate a state of management over various factors, facets, and elements that are intended for alignment toward the same accomplishments, satisfactions, fulfillments. The Positive Pole of Dominance is LEADERSHIP. This is the state that draws out of all factors, facets, and elements a clear path toward fulfillment of a shared goal, and is the provision of the necessary tools for that to be accomplished. Leadership is an invitation in a certain direction that is adaptable, and the support of those factors, facets, and elements in that direction. Leadership is the capacity for identifying the strengths and weaknesses of the parts necessary for fulfillment of a direction, and the organization of those accordingly. The Negative Pole of Dominance is DICTATORSHIP. This is the state the imposes a direction upon various factors, facets, and elements necessary for fulfilling an intention, with punishment or collapse as a result of any straying from that direction. Dictatorship is a demand that has no room for negotiation, and has no concern for the various strengths that may come from one factor over another, simply assigning tasks and functions as needed, rather than with any strategy. Dictatorship is a loss of awareness of the process and a blindness by the anticipation for the end result. Over January, we see that many of our students are jump-starting their lives again in a way that requires access to new sources of Inspiration. For those who might exemplify Dominance in the Positive Pole, this access to new sources of inspiration would not be something that is going to show up as an active process as much as it might show up as a practice in awareness. This would be a form of Leadership, in that an assessment period is first, before any actual direction is concluded. For those who might exemplify Dominance in the Negative Pole, this access to new sources of inspiration would be expected to have already become clear, and there is an eagerness to simply get to where one wants to go, figuratively or literally. This might show up as agitation, annoyance, and scattered distraction as end result becomes more important than the steps necessary for fulfillment. What we can suggest for most of you is to keep in mind that this is a SAGE year, so when there is a tendency toward Negative Poles, it would do you well to LISTEN. Often the static and chatter of the brain and over-anticipations can leave one with a deficit of focus and an overabundance of misdirected energy. Listening is a means of activating your senses in a way that pays attention to feedback around you, pays attention to internal voices, hints and clues from your world around you. Listening would help you to embrace your sense of inspiration and direction, and allow you to clearly see who or what is on board in the interest of the same direction and end result, keeping you in Leadership, instead of Dominance. If you feel you would like to "make a difference" in the year ahead, or that "this is the year" that you would like to alter directions for any level of your being, the energy is full force for this to occur, and with great support. However, this will require some amount of delicate handling of energy in a way that can be used in the way you intend, instead of scatter-spraying your intentions outwardly and hoping something of satisfaction comes from that. There is little passivity showing up in the months ahead, so it may be important to take your moments of rest seriously, allowing those moments to be full, deep, and invigorating, rather than squeezed in, or done with guilt. KEY DATES: NEXUS - January 11 - 13 focused on pivoting toward Agreements involved with personal tasks KEY PHRASES: WHEN I AM LOST, I WILL LISTEN - This is simply a reminder that when feeling scattered, hyper, or agitated, it may simply be because you are missing the details in the information and communication coming to you from around you. Listening may bring you the insights and connection to your inspiration again, which would help balance your energy in a way that allows for a focus of direction again.
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