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  1. NOTE FROM CONNOR: Thank you everyone for your patience. I never use software for the transcription. Feeding the audio into transcription software would result in dozens of mistakes because Troy's audio was a bit choppy during this session. There were a lot of dropped or partially cut off words which I had to reconstruct using context clues and by repeating the sound byte over and over to catch syllables of missing words. This is actually the most time-consuming part of transcribing - I could have skipped the detail work and typed all of this up within a day, but such a transcript would have been riddled with gaps. In almost every case, I was able to figure out the problem spots, but sometimes, wherever in the transcript it says [UNINTELLIGIBLE] or [AUDIO LOST], I was unable to determine what was said. So if anyone else made their own audio recording of the event and is able to determine what was said in those instances, please let me know in the comments or by TLE direct message and I will make the edits. *** *** *** *** Michael Speaks in TLEvr on Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety 13th August, 2022 Channeled by Troy Tolley MEntity: Okay. Hello to each of you. We are here now. Our delivery may start off slow, as this subject is heavy for Troy, and it may take more effort to move through that density. But we are here now. Hello to each of you. We have been asked to speak on the subjects of loneliness, depression, and anxiety, and offer any insights that we may have from a metaphysical perspective. And by ‘metaphysical perspective’ what we can offer is something deeper, more insidious, below the surface of the more acute and local causes for these experiences. There will always be more acute and local causes for these experiences, and be lonely for obvious reasons because of the distance between yourself and others, be depressed because of lack of fulfillment, sense of contribution, or anxiety over a lack of control. Underneath all of this, we can say that there are Sentient-wide causes that are being tapped into, and you do bring in loneliness, anxiety, and depression. LONELINESS MEntity: This first layer of Sentient-wide patterns, if you will, traces back to what we have referred to as the Great Wounding. We’ll speak about this, but we know that it will not seem to be something that one can really use to help themselves. We offer it as a baseline understanding of this pattern throughout all of Humanity. The Great Wounding traces back to your first experience of being displaced as a species. Though only a fraction of our Sentience was a part of that displacement, your transfer from Sirius to Earth cascades through the entire collective or Sentient species. To be disrupted in life is already something you are familiar with how it has an effect on you. To be disrupted as an entire species, to the extent that you must completely leave your home and make a new life somewhere else – you may be able to understand how this has resonated, carried forward, throughout the species for eons because of this deep, profound wounding of not being wanted. It does not matter that there was another species to come forward – in fact, several species to come forward, helping this process of displacement so that you were safe. That matters, but the initial wounding of not being wanted as a species in your own home created profound scars in the core of your being. So at the core of loneliness, the very baseline metaphysical level of loneliness, is this that is being tapped. That you were not wanted as a species in your own home. Your own habitat. Your original bodies. Everything was taken away. NOTE FROM CONNOR: There was a thirty-second silence here which everyone felt, and when Michael resumed speaking, it was clear that Troy had been weeping. On rare occasions, Troy (not Michael) will laugh or cry while in trance. This usually happens as a result of Troy "peeking in" to some extent on whatever Michael is saying. MEntity: We may have to navigate emotional reactions in the body of our channel. Not all species experience loneliness. It is a foreign concept. Many Sentient species have never felt the depth of displacement that your species has. But all Sentient species will go through a period of distancing from themselves and their sense of affection during the Baby and Young Soul stages of development for the species collectively. So for the period of time that your species has been evolving through the Young Soul Age, everything at the core of this displacement, wounding, is exacerbated. There have always been times when people felt lonely. There have always been times when people felt depressed. There have always been times when people felt anxiety in your species. But your Baby and Young Soul stages brought this front and center as a core identity. It was built upon and perpetuated in your societies, your cultures, your religions, and your politics to such an extent that it is not even recognized as a force that shapes you. Built into your religions, built into your politics, governments, society, through the Baby and Young Soul stages of your development of your species is the deep desire for another force, for an outside force, to save you. Rescue you. Take care of you. So on top of the deep wounding from the displacement the Baby and Young Soul stages brought into near-personification in creating gods, governments, politics, where each of you are hoping someone else does something to show that you matter. In religion this is obvious by the creation of gods who are watching out for you or punishing, and so forth. Politics, or governments that need to watch out for people, and dole out punishments. But for those of you who are older souls, you did not find yourselves exempt from the indoctrination of need for Other, or someone to care enough to make your life better, rescue you, save you. This is often played out in dynamics between yourself and your parents. The dynamic that you share with your parents has a profound impact on the individual life personifying this deeper wounding. The relationship with your parents, your caretakers, matters in how you feel in terms of your connection to others because so much emphasis is on the responsibility of something or someone else to take care of you. This is not a bad thing. It is just information. It is just insight. Because we suspect that many of you are not consciously aware of how much this dictates how close you feel to others. If you have suffered any form of wounding and distancing between a caretaker or parent, it stays with you in ways that are not easily healed by maturity. There has to be a conscious effort, a conscious awareness, that allows you to meet others as equals. Not as saviors. Not as replacements for a home world, sense of home, replacements for a parent. It may not seem obvious to you that this is something that might affect how you relate to others. It does. This is played out even more cruelly – we do not use that word lightly – there is a cruelty to this in the position that is placed upon yourself to be chosen by those whom you choose. There are many instances where our students, surrounded by love, surrounded by caring, surrounding by nurturing, still feel lonely because the person they chose did not choose them. There is a dangerous dynamic evolved out of the Baby and Young Soul stages regarding this preoccupation with being chosen – being chosen more specifically by those whom you choose. It does not matter if a stranger comes up and is nice to you. It does not matter if people around you, family, care about you. It does not matter if you are surrounded by a community who continually remind you of how much you are wanted and welcomed. When that one person you chose does not choose you, loneliness comes to the front. Loneliness begins to define you. We share all of this with you because these are what we would consider metaphysical elements of this experience of loneliness that is at the deepest core of who you are in a way that you may not have explored. By exploring this, looking at this more closely, you may be able to free yourself from that dynamic with your conscious effort, conscious choice. It does not you will, might, change this dynamic, but it does mean that you have more tools to work with helping yourself. As we continue to explore the other subjects of depression and anxiety, we’ll have a wide range of options that help you to dynamically change these experiences into something that passes, or something that you may have that does not have you, that is not your identity, that no longer has to be at the core of who you are. It is okay, for instance, to feel sad. And to feel angry. Feel happy. Feel lonely. To feel depressed. And anxious. But when those become the core identity of who you are and something you must carry as a weight, that is when these tools may come in handy to help move it a little bit out from you to have a more whole sense of yourself in that one moment. So our point is that we may not be able to offer insights that will free you entirely of loneliness, but at least it does not have to be at the core of who you are as an identity, making your choices, shaping the way you determine your value. DEPRESSION MEntity: Depression builds on loneliness. The core of depression is cognitive dissonance. We are sharing with you many things that are obvious that may not have been obvious in the context of how we are sharing it today. Each of you suffer from cognitive dissonance, compartmentalization of your emotional bodies, because you have to. Your world, your cultures, your societies, and your access to more and more of this forces you to fragment yourself into various parts that must handle different things, or processes, so that by the time some of you have taken on what you can, you are literally left in the corner of who you are with all of the rest of you scattered about, disconnected, trying to manage all of the input that has been taken in. Cognitive dissonance keeps you from having a full perception of reality. It filters reality. It is a protective device. It allows you to participate in your society’s economic systems, shutting down the part of you that knows it steals life force from you to participate in it. It steals your creative force that steals your passion that it exhausts you. In order to participate in your world, you have to be able to function. And the way that you function is by breaking apart yourself so that you can go to work. Then there is the part of you that can play. Then there is the part of you that can love. Having all of these parts usually functions fairly seamlessly and can be a way for you to be a multifaceted individual who can move around these facets. When the facets become distanced from each other, this is when depression can start to come in. When you are so fragmented that you have basically left yourself alone from yourself. The core of depression we have shared with you that is helplessness. And helplessness then moves into anger. Then anger moves into rage. And when that rage has no place to go, it turns into depression. This is all about being fragmented to such an extent that you do not know how or where all of the pieces are. How to bring them back together. How to be whole again. As we said before, there are acute causes for depression, and local causes. Maybe incidents and specific events that cause depression. What we are speaking about is the depression that leaves you broken for quite some time and becomes a part of your identity. In other words, it is normal for all of you to feel depressed at some point. It is simply a form of processing. When it becomes identity to the extent that you must navigate around it for an extended period of time, this is the depression that we are speaking about. The fragmenting we are speaking about. Then this can lead to your anxiety. ANXIETY MEntity: Anxiety is built on depression and loneliness. It is a combination of loneliness and depression. Anxiety is born of depression and its fragmenting. Anxiety comes when there are too many fragments to keep track of to the point that all sense of control is lost. Panic sets in. The sense of holding yourself together, even if it is this one shard left of who you are, is at the core of anxiety. It is your attempt to just remain in existence. Yes, it could be about controlling circumstances around you, or caused by a triggering effect of an event. But if anxiety has come to be a part of the force that is your identity, you must navigate regularly because you are holding onto everything possible to simply exist. Holding onto the last part of yourself. The good news is there are solutions all around you for helping to navigate this. To recover. To heal. It may take effort. It may take conscious willingness. It may take time. The solutions are fairly simple. And they start [UNINTELLIGIBLE] either you are more identified with anxiety [UNINTELLIGIBLE] it all starts, or the Great Wounding of the loneliness. So what we suggest in terms of dealing with this and transforming it at the core is to start with addressing the part of you that is waiting to be chosen by that whom you have chosen. Instead of limiting your sense of emotional/intellectual fulfillment to a very specific individual or circumstance or position, it is time for you to claim your right to be here. Be here. Be in your body. Be on this planet. Be in this time. You are not visitors. You are creators. One of the things that gets stripped from you, as you grow in a society and culture that has nurtured such loneliness, depression, and anxiety; is your right to be here. To be exactly You. One of the first places for you to start bringing that sense of integrity to your existence is to begin to give that to others. And we are not speaking only of other people. We are speaking about the plants around you. Bugs around you. Material that was made from resources around you. Air around you. The weather. You are so deeply connected to this world and to everything that is manifested in it, but so disconnected from it because you feel no right to exist here, or no right to be here. This distance nurtures that core of loneliness and that wounding. So our first suggestion is to look at the plants. Look at the animals. Look at your relationship to the space around you. How you use water. How you bathe. How you take care of yourself. How you think about the existence of anything else. This may seem silly, but if you stop and think about it, we suspect each of you could very easily identify how you deny the existence, or not acknowledge the existence, of a wide swath of that which does not exist because you are waiting for your right to exist. We are inviting you to take it all in. When you look at a plant, it is not something that is simply there. It is a living organism. When you interact with an animal, you may find yourself feeling affectionate. You may like how it makes you feel, but it is an individual in existence; not for you, but for itself. Being with you is part of the gift of that experience. Try to shift your dynamic in how you exchange with the environment around you in a way that acknowledges the existence of other things and people on their own terms. That plant is being as “plant” as it can be. We are using plants as an example because they are often fairly readily available for you to practice in acknowledging your connection to something other than yourself, has no capacity to choose you, that you can still acknowledge having a right to existence alongside you. The validity of its existence. Its brilliance of existence. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] full spectrum. Because when you do this, it starts to get a little bit easier for you to do that for yourself. You can begin to collect the parts of yourself that you separated from you because you thought that they needed to be fragmented away from you to protect you. They are You. They exist. Safe. Part of your wholeness. It is you that goes to work; not a part of you that goes to work. We know you cannot change the systemic issues of society and culture and religion on your own or overnight. That is not the goal here. The goal is for you to reclaim and celebrate your core right to exist on your terms and then to build from there as best you can. Existence is not something that you must earn. And the love in your life, your fulfillment, is not something that is a reward for being good, being a certain way. We are offering a reminder to you. That is all we can do. We will open the floor now for questions. We will do our best to respond to them with meaningful insight where we can. Moonfeather: Hello? MEntity: Hello. Moonfeather: I just want to say “Thank You” for what you said about connecting to the environment. I’m gonna cry because this is what I’ve been doing for the last year since I’ve got my house. I’m just spending time trying to connect with my piece of land, with my house, with my pets, with my trees, planting new things. I’m trying to deal with what’s growing, the critters that come around, and the birds, and it’s been really healing for me. And I find that when I go out and try to be with people, it just feels like I’m putting on an act and I feel a pressure to be a certain way, to sort of be happy when I’m really like a low-key kind of person that kinda comes in, like, more on a low-key level. And I feel like I have to be on, you know, when I go out in public, an act, like I have to be, like, “put on a happy face” kind of thing. But I have been finding just so much, I don’t know, realness in just being by myself with my land and my house and I just want to thank you for mentioning that because it’s just been so important in my life right now, so, thanks. MEntity: Yes. You are recollecting all the parts of you that you’ve left across time. This has been… [AUDIO LOST] The inclination to put on a happy face for others is not because you want to be fake. It is because you care about others. It is not a violation of who you are to want to present yourself in a way that you think might make others feel good. That is all the motivation that is there. It is not about having to change who you are. It is actually revealing who you are. You like caring, like to be a presence that brings something more than distraction or discomfort. So in your way, your sense of or need to put on a happy face is just your way of saying that you care about the person that you are with. So you must then decide whether that is more important to you or if you can find a balance that will assess a person who may or may not need for you to be in a position to offer them happiness, to remind them someone cares. To have that in your “Arsenal of Care,” if you will, you need it. So rather than having to choose one way or the other, we suggest that you be yourself, and have your happiness in your pocket for those moments where you feel like someone might need it. Otherwise, there is no need for you to carry that burden. Does this make sense? Moonfeather: Yeah. I think I just need time when I’m with people to assess them. And I’m pretty quick at assessing them. So it just takes a little bit, like thirty seconds, but I don’t always get that, but it’s nice for me to have that little bit of buffer when I meet somebody because I can pretty much tune into… If I need to… I know what you’re saying. I just need a few seconds when I meet them. Yes, thank you. MEntity: You make the choice your own because you feel pressured into it. It is not your job to heal everyone. It is your strength. It is not your job. Moonfeather: (laughing) I’m a Server! MEntity: Yes, that is why we are clarifying the differentiation. It is a strength, but it is not a job. Moonfeather: Okay. Yes. MEntity: It is there when necessary, but not as a way to protect yourself. Not as a way to distance yourself. That is not healing. We will take the next question. Kasia: Hi Michael. I have a question about a recent response that you gave to Christian about a feeling of being done, and an openness… So, it was an openness to death and a readiness for death. And I wanted to ask you how that compares to depression. I ask this because I’ve been feeling it recently, and it’s been a really strange and almost scary thing. Because it’s not related to suicide, it’s not related to wanting to end the life, but it is a feeling of completeness that is kind of scary to face in the middle of a lifetime. And then I’m wondering if that’s related to depression where it’s a negative, or if it is actually just a feeling of “Okay, well I think I did everything I wanted to do, and maybe this is a good time to exit.” So I wanted your thoughts on that and any kind of feedback you can provide to help get through that for anybody else who might be experiencing something similar. MEntity: The older your soul gets, and with information that may come from a teacher such as ourselves, you can become quite intuitively aware when you are nearing an exit point. And many of our students just passed through a period of time where their exit points, one of their exit points, deaths, had been scheduled and was up for examination. This is intuitively navigated. It is not something that we can point out or say “Here is when your next one is.” Exit points come up regularly and are assessed as to whether they are going to be used or not. For the older soul, this can sometimes be sensed. It can cause an assessment process that affirms or denies the level of fulfillment with the life. That is one layer that could have been at work here. The other layer is that your world is currently in a position where mortality is in the face of every single one of you. There is not much happening in the world that is not threatening your existence. You are reminded daily of worst-case scenarios. You have a pandemic. You have a climate crisis. You have war. You have civil unrest. All of these things are going to contribute to your assessment. Whether there is an exit period or not, or whether this is a life you want to continue or not; when there is so much weight leaning towards this point of “What more can I do?” in this kind of circumstance, what more can I accomplish or experience compared to what I had planned to experience. This assessment is going to leave you feeling out whether you cannot complete the overall general trajectory of the life and how comfortable you would be with being done if you had to go. If you died from the pandemic or died from war or died from climate catastrophe. So those two factors probably played a big part in this experience for some of you. We saw this happening on quite a wide scale for our students all through the beginning of this year in particular because of those two factors. There were quite a few of you assessing your exit points, quite a few of you assessing your mortality in the face of overwhelming threats, and then for some of you it was the combination. So could depression be a part of this? Of course. Our response to your question would be that this assessment is separate from that. Someone who was not even depressed may have experienced it. Does this answer your question? Kasia: Yes, that does. Thank you because, like I said, it was scary and I guess it made me wonder whether you said that depression is something you can go through but not to take on as an identity, and the depth of this was just so intense that, I mean, like I said, it was unique and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that. So thank you for clarifying that. That made it a lot more clear to understand what was at play. MEntity: Yes. Old Souls learn through Terror. When you come across a new experience such as assessing your own death as a Personality and saying, “Oh, yes, I could be dead,” can be quite terrifying. Especially if it is hooked into depression, or depression is the context with which you explore this, because it may feel as if something is happening to you, but what is happening is simply that you are that aware, yourself. You can consciously make this assessment. It is quite helpful to know this because it may happen again, and the next time you will know that this is an assessment period. This is what happened to you and most of our students. That the assessment revealed to you “Yes, I could go now,” would be done. The fact that you are on the other side of that, if someone goes to the other side of that, it is because they are not done. They have plenty more to do and there is a part of you who found a creative path forward. We would say that most of you who do make it to the other side of this will tend to find a sudden burst of creativity, enthusiasm, energy that helps to move you into the patterns that have been revealed moving forward. So we would suggest nurturing those as best you can and exploring those because they came up for a reason. They came up as a response to your assessment, and you found your path forward. You are here to stay. Kasia: Thank you. And I just wanted to say for anyone else who did experience it, it was surprisingly… The intuitive level of it was really… There was a deep sense of knowing that everything was going to be okay. Which, even despite the terror, was helpful and very calming in its own way. But yes, thank you for all of that. MEntity: Next question. Sharvari: Hi Michael. I was just wondering what kind of advice you had on coping with depression in an immediate environment that is toxic? Or especially one that you can’t really escape or change in any way with the tools that you have at your disposal? MEntity: Yes, that is a challenge. You are surrounded by influences that are repeatedly causing what we described earlier as the acute effects, or local effects. All you can do is to navigate this as best you can and to rely on your resilience. Resilience is the core, must become the core, of who you are in those circumstances. There must be the choice, if it can be made at some point, to change the environments for your well-being. Of course, while you are in those circumstances where you cannot leave, you must contend with the forces that are lingering experiences. You must rely on your resilience. So rather than letting depression become the core identity, it can be helpful for you to claim your resilience as your core identity. You will do this. You can get through the next day. You can handle it. You can make the choices that do not protect yourself in ways that are emotional and intellectual at the very least. That input from others is not in some way destroying your sense of who you are. This is difficult. We do not in any way mean to minimize those kinds of circumstances. It will depend on your resilience. Your capacity to uphold the right to your whole self, your identity, on your own terms in the face of circumstances or people trying to take that away. We do not know of any easy way through that, other than your resilience. Every day is something that must be taken on as an individual experience processed. Every day you must get through to the next day. We know that is not a solution. We know that is not an answer that is particularly helpful. But it is a reminder that you can do it, that you matter, and the strength, the force, helps you to do it. In addition to this, if it’s possible, seek external help. That is so vital. We have said before that in many circumstances of depression, it is something that requires intervention. This cannot be done if someone does not know. So from the depths of your depression, you must find that moment, that strength to reach out and ask for help, if you can find it, because that intervention may be necessary. We would have to assess specifics of any individual’s situation that you are describing for a response. But in general, your resilience, the strength of learning your identity, and seeking help are the three things that we can suggest in general. Sharvari: Sure, I guess I was asking because… Going through something like this over time really wears you down and makes you really tired. I can personally feel that this is going to affect me in the long run. I can tell that right now because I’ve done that before. So, I don’t quite know how to get through that part of… Like, I know that my behavior right now – being resilient, you know, putting one foot in front of the other – is necessary, but I can also tell that there is so much that is happening to me that is really gonna need a lot of unpacking in the future, and that’s not a very encouraging thought. MEntity: Yes, you bring up a very valid point in terms of processing. They’re quite difficult to process what you are being bombarded with in a way that is meaningful while you are in it. That is valid, if we heard you correctly, that there is a lot that will have to be unpacked after the circumstances. This is important to understand that it is okay for you to let that be the case. It is okay for you to get to the other side before you do your unpacking. You do not have to figure it out. You only need to figure out the next day, now. You only need to figure out what drinks are required right now. Unpacking is something that will come later AND will come with a strength that you have that is freer than the strength that you have now. Did we understand your comment? Sharvari: Yes. And thank you. That actually helps a lot. Yeah, letting it be, and just, you know, putting it on another date, and also a comment about how you will have more thoughts later than you do now. MEntity: Yes. Sharvari: So, thank you so much. MEntity: Yes. Imagine a tree has fallen. It’s heavy enough that it is weighing you down, but light enough for you to keep pushing it up. You must hold it. Keep it from crushing you. While you are in those circumstances, you simply must rely on your strength and resilience. You can figure out why the tree fell later. We are throwing out an analogy to help you understand with more clarity what we described. While you are in it, your strength and resilience are the most important. After the tree is no longer having to be held up, after the depression and the circumstances and the people have removed themselves, then you can best process what happened. We will take the next question now. We have focus for one or two more before we wrap up. Christian: Hello Michael. This is Christian. I know we have talked about this subject quite a bit over the years in my efforts to heal from lots of different things. First of all, a lot of the things that you said, it starts to make a lot more sense now, on the other side of a lot of this. I guess the main question that I kind of have is… It was described to me by my therapist as being that part of depression is located with sadness because I made the comment to her that it feels like the depression will never leave. Like it will always be there. She said part of that is because it’s tied with sadness, and obviously if you’re not feeling sad because something sad happened, in her eyes that would be a very serious issue that we would need to address. I’m just wondering if, is it just that we can minimize it? Or is it that we can eliminate it? Or is it just that there’s more work to be done? I’m just curious as to, can we get to a point where it’s just “not there” for those of us who have had it as part of that personality? MEntity: Yes, it’s possible. It is possible to eliminate it altogether without avoiding it. By that, we mean it may occur again, but it can be regenerated entirely so that it is like an experience that is quite distant from you that is not hovering or an undercurrent. It is possible. However, it is not easy. And especially as you described for those who have had this as a part of their pattern for most of their existence, it would be quite difficult to let it go to transform it, because there is some level of affection for it. We do not mean that in some twisted way, that you “like to feel bad,” but it does become a part of an identity in a way that develops an affection in the same way that one you may know who is quite difficult, annoying, even quite challenging, but you love them. You love them anyway. Each of you have come into your existence with the core of your intentions to love. It is not a lighthearted, whimsical thing you take on as individual fragments. Your intent is to love. This extends to the worst parts of you. Parts of you that are the most challenging and difficult, and the most annoying and debilitating. And so you may find yourself with a certain amount of affection for the part of yourself that you least [AUDIO LOST] to identify with. So if you start to recognize this as an affection, it’s your willingness to accept. It’s your willingness to love. It is no longer something that is fought, moved, something to allow. Then it is no longer something to protect yourself from. It is a thing you understand. Does this make sense? Christian: Yes. And it also makes me laugh a little bit because at one point I was writing up a blog post talking a little bit about this. And I got a vision in my head, as I was talking about depression, of sitting in this room and looking over, and on a dog bed that was way too small for it, was a giant black dog that was Depression. And with what you just said, that just really made me kind of laugh. So I do see what you’re talking about. I understand that. Thank you. MEntity: This is a positive thing. This is a healing thing. Because if you cannot transform it, if you cannot free yourself from it, you might as well love it. This is because, if you can love it, it loses its disruptive power over you. It becomes not about it defining or controlling your identity, but more about being a part of you that you have to navigate. So we say this is a positive thing because it is one of the solutions for these challenging experiences that come to you and shape you. And sometimes you cannot, will not, reject those parts of you because for many, many years, however debilitating they were, it is very difficult to reject the thing, however ugly that protected you. And by protecting, we do not mean that they were effective, or that they actually protected you, but the dynamic is often a relationship of protection developed as a response to threat. Though it is seen as a protector, you develop a relationship with that part of you in a way that at times you can only love. Next question, and final question. ConnorB: Oh good. Hello Michael. MEntity: Hello. ConnorB: So, since you brought up Sirius… So, if I were… I’ll put it to you this way. If I were writing the Human story, the Great Wounding you were talking about, from the displacement, it wouldn’t fully heal until Humans at some point go back to Sirius. Maybe that’s right, maybe that’s wrong, but either way, it’s going to happen at some point. Would you mind giving us a little glimpse of what that looks like? MEntity: It looks like what you are experiencing in your world now. You are shifting out of a paradigm that is shaped entirely around displacement, looking for a savior, being chosen, [UNINTELLIGIBLE] …and so forth, which has exacerbated the Great Wounding. What is happening as you shift into the Mature Soul Age is that you are reclaiming maturity as an individual. It’s a consciousness that it can exist anywhere in its own space, in its own time, its own right. Do you see this playing out on an individual, even a generational level, where there is a refusal to participate in the systems that have been in place for quite some time? It does not matter if they are being mocked, accused of laziness, or accused of fragility. They are holding their own. They are stepping up and reclaiming their right to exist how they exist and in a way that they seek to exist. So the healing of the Great Wounding comes when you are no longer looking for someone else to make your life better. Work with others to make your life better. Stand with others to make your life better. But you are not looking for someone else to make your life better. You are not participating in systems that are imposed on you. You are creating systems that care about everyone involved. So, over time, and this will take time. It will take collapse of some sort, in some way, to bring this overhaul of your societies and your governments and religions, but healing will come because enough have decided you are worth existing in your own right. You do not have to return home. You simply need to become home. That is what we are seeing in many of our own students and students of others who begin to bring to the dynamic through the conversations in your world right now. You are asking what it looks like? This is the beginning of what it looks like. You are on your way back home, and it was always with you. We will bring our exchange with you to a close now. And we did our best to address a rather difficult and broad concept that has many ways of showing up for you in your individual lives. We do not imply that what we have shared is in any way helpful for relieving your experiences, but it is there for you to examine and see if it does. It is simply another angle of insight, another layer of insight that can always be something useful. With that, we will head out, and goodbye. Bye. Various Students: Thank you, Michael. Bye, Auf Wiedersehen, etc. Troy: Are my hands gone? Various Students: No. Nope. They’re there. Troy: Oh, I guess I was so idle, my controller went to sleep so my hands like all got vibrated. Hey everybody! Kasia: Thank you, Troy, that resonated! Troy: Oh, hey Raul! Raul: Hello. Troy: Alright, how depressed are we? Who cried? Kerrin: I gave up sugar and I don’t have depression anymore. Cyprus: I cried the whole time. Troy: You cried? Cyprus: I cried out loud. Like, ugly cried. Troy: If you’re on PC, wiggle your head if you cried. I cried! I rarely cry. I’m so sorry – I disrupted the channeling because there was something, I don’t remember what it was, but it hit me and I was like “Ohhh lord, what…?!” Get back out of the way. Kasia: Feeling that we’re unwanted in our home, I think. Troy: Oh yes. Kasia: That’s when I noticed, like, “Yeah, that’s gonna hit.” Troy: IT DID! Oh my god. That’s what it was. Something like that.
  2. ENERGY REPORTFebruary 20162016 OVERLEAVESROLE: Server (emphasized all year)CENTER: Moving (emphasized all year)GOAL: Discrimination (emphasized Jan - Mar)MODE: Caution (emphasized Apr - Jun)ATTITUDE: Cynic (emphasized Jul - Sep)CHIEF FEATURES: Self-destruction (emphasized Oct - Dec)FEBRUARY carries forward the high sensitivity that accompanies the Server qualities of the year. This sensitivity is either the undoing of your days or the strength that you use for addressing areas in your life crying out for greater nurturing. This is part of how the Server energies works. When there is resistance to the nature to nurture and care for the self and/or others then there grows a recoiling, a weariness, exhaustion, resentment, and then the sensitivity that was there to help you care becomes a burden (to self and others). When there is an embrace of the nature to nurture and care for the self and/or others then there grows an openness, enthusiasm, energy and kindness, and then the sensitivity that was there to help you care becomes a strength (to self and others).If you find that your year has started out with recoil and resentment, you may be rejecting being responsible for the nurture that is necessary in your life in some way, some area, some relationship.If you find that your year has started out with openness and enthusiasm, you are either already nurturing your life in ways that require little extra attention, or you understand that there are areas that require more of you, more of your nurturing, and more of your care.For many of our students the above may be difficult to sort out if your year has started from within the processes of Grief, but even then the above is helpful because Grief is a separate process from the insight that nurture is needed in your life. In fact, if Grief has been a part of your year, it is even more important to take a moment and note that nurture cannot be compromised when one is grieving. One of the behaviors that extends the process of grief far beyond its natural cycles is the rejection of nurturing and the recoiling from responsibility of caring.Servers know this dance all too well. The dance between the desire to care and the recoiling from the responsibilities that come with caring. Of all Roles, the Server can be of the most effective and caring of souls and of the most apathetic and shut down of souls.In a year where Server is the underpinning of the energy for the year, you may find a wide array of behaviors that range between caring “too much” and caring too little. When there is “too much” care it is usually no longer a matter of caring, but a matter of controlling. One cannot truly care too much, but one can care to an extent that the care distorts into wishing to control that which is the focus of care. But one can care too little. One can disengage, refuse, and reject because the caring is too hard, too inconvenient, too much work, too much energy, too much of something. And then the solution seems practical to simply shut down, enlist apathy or begrudging bitterness until someone else does the work that you could help do.Caring too little, and caring “too much” are the two most effective ways to inadvertently nurture the experience of loneliness.Loneliness is the conscious or subconscious refusal to care appropriately. You have decided that your state of caring is what matters more than the state of caring that is needed. So you care too much or too little and then you are lonely. Humans are of the loneliest creatures of reason in any known Sentient species because of the love/hate relationship with Server energy. Loneliness dissolves as one learns better how to manage the caring side of the self.We will discuss this quality over the year to help our students understand this in useful ways because it will be a factor for the entire year.In addition to the Server qualities of the year, there will also be the emphasis on the Moving Center. This is not a popular Center among our students, so many of our students may find the emphasis brings with it anxiety, agitation, heightened sexual activity or plummeting energy as you reject the Moving Center altogether.This is a year when your Bodies need to be included. In many years the body can be “carried along with you,” but in a Moving Centered year, you ARE your body. Your body will reflect more quickly and effectively exactly where you are with your processes. If you are upset, so will your body be. If you are shutting down, so will your body. If you are angry, your body will react as an extension of this. Your tempers may be high. Your sadnesses may be deep. Your bliss may be amazing. In short, your “feelings” are going to be “all over the place.”Most fragments think of “feelings” as emotions, but they are not. Feelings are by-products of emotion, but they are what you DO with emotional energy. What most people “do” with emotional energy is redirect it into the body and then this is what becomes “feelings.” So you love, and instead of that being a state of informative emotion, it becomes a feeling. You hate, and instead of this being a state of informative emotion, it becomes a feeling. You are angry, and instead of this being an informative emotion, it becomes a feeling. In other words, because emotion is so misunderstood and distrusted because of its amorphous qualities, Humans have learned to immediately give form to emotion in the processes of the body. And this is “feelings.” And this is why “feelings” then are never the truth and cannot be trusted in the same way that intuition can be trusted, even as “feelings” and “intuition” are often mistaken for one another.We will discuss this further with our students over the year, as well. For now, it can be helpful to start with your directing your “feelings” into something grounding, meaningful, and productive. If you are upset, go for a walk. If you are sad, hug a pillow. If you are angry, dance. DO something and allow those feelings to move through you so that your Moving Center can stay clear, clean, and balanced for more effective responses to events and relationships.February brings with it a deeper dive into Discrimination as the Goal for the year. For February, we will simply say that you will either get better at the above or dig deeper into resistance. Because Discrimination is a Goal that emphasizes the practice, art, and skill of Choice, we will only say that it is up to you. It is your choice. Your choice is always important, and it remains important in this case where you may find yourself recoiling further or embracing the care and kindness in the world around and with you.DATES OF INTEREST (dates are approximate):February 06 - 09 -- ENERGY SHIFT - COMPLETIONS/BEGINNINGS - a shift of energy here seems to be all about a sense of endings and a launch into beginnings. This can be experienced a relief, enthusiasm, and refreshing perspective and energy, or it can be experienced as dread, sadness, and overwhelm. The difference in experience is relative to your method of caring. If it is “too much” it may be that you wish to control more than you realize. If it is not caring enough, it may be because you do not want the responsibility of caring. It may be time to learn better how to care, and this is another chance.February 08 - 17 -- NEXUS - DIVERGENCE - This is one of the more major parallel shifts of the year, lasting approximately 10 days or more. This parallel shift involves planetary shifts toward more humanitarian and peaceful paths or toward more turbulent and disruptive paths, or toward more “of the same.” These patterns are already well underway and in momentum. There is nothing more for you to do and various “you’s” will likely explore all directions, but as you pass through this Nexus, you may feel the effects of letting go of directions that “this you” has no interest in, and a renewed focus on the direction of conscious intention.HELPFUL THOUGHTS OVER FEBRUARY:LONELINESS IS AN INVITATION TO CARE DIFFERENTLY - If you experience loneliness, it is not a punishment or permanent state, but a part of you longing to care differently. Loneliness can mean that you would rather control outcomes than to care, or to avoid responsibility rather than care. It may be time for you to surrender and open yourself to possibilities outside of your limited expectations, and/or to stand up, brush yourself off, take a deep breath, and reach out again. And again. And again. Until you retrain your energy and your world to reach back with kindness.YOUR BODIES ARE YOU - It is true that your Physical Body does not carry with you when you die, but until then, it is a part of you. In fact, while Physical, it is fair to say that it IS you. It was never separate from you. It was never hosting you. You were never carrying it. You ARE it. Your Essence loves you and all variations of you. One of the most important experiences you learn as a Personality is how to then love the body that is you, and all of its variations. And by “variations” we mean its states of health, its missteps, its beauty, its ugliness, its distortions, its fluctuations of weight, strengths, and weaknesses, and its aging. Your body is not dying, it is doing. It is doing what it does. Just as you do what you do. Everything you do contributes to your evolution and expansion, and everything that your body is does the same for you. It is a beautiful and symbiotic relationship that stretches across dimensions. Your Astral Body is not shamed or rejected for its processes of Emotion, and your Causal Body is not shamed for its processes of Intellect, and so it goes that your Physical Body requires no shame or rejection for its processes of Action. One of the most important things you can ever do in a lifetime is to evolve your affection and care for your body because it is not a burden. It is your entire arena of this life.
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