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  1. ENERGY REPORT OCTOBER 2011 2011 Overleaves are: ROLE: PRIEST (emphasized all year) CENTER: MOVING (emphasized all year) GOAL: FLOW (emphasized Jan - Mar) MODE: CAUTION (emphasized Apr - Jun) ATTITUDE: PRAGMATIST sliding to Cynic and Skeptic (emphasized Jul - Sep) CHIEF FEATURES: Impatience/Martyrdom (emphasized Oct - Dec) OCTOBER marks the shift of emphasis for the year toward that of the Chief Negative Features, which are those behaviors that are prompted as a form of defense against certain fears. When anyone moves into serious self-assessment of the past, it can either bring out one’s fears, or bring out one’s gratitude. Self-assessment happens throughout the year for everyone, but in terms of our “Energy Reports,” we speak to the general wave of collective processes, and October through December tends to be a time period where more than half of the planet goes through a self-assessment. This is largely due to the fact that it is the end of the calendar year for most of the planet, and any significant shift in measuring large arcs of time can prompt mass self-assessment. When mass self-assessment happens, then mass fears and their subsequent defenses can be prompted. The Chief Features we interpret for the year are those that reflect how collective fear may be played out in the world, not necessarily in one’s personal life, though it is difficult to evade the collective fears if one is even remotely participating in the world. Everyone will have his or her individual Chief Feature methods for responding to fear, but the Chief Features described for the year is how all of that collective energy may flow into the world and show up. This year, those whose self-assessment brings up fear may contribute to the fears that revolve around CONTROL. Impatience and Martyrdom are the defenses against fears related to Controlling TIME or Controlling SPACE, respectively. Keep in mind that our Chief Features do not describe the actual fears, but what one tends to do IN REACTION or DEFENSE against fears. Impatience is a reaction to, or a defense against, the fear that time is running out, is slipping by, is overwhelming, and cannot be controlled. Martyrdom is a reaction to, or a defense against, the fear that one’s life, environment, personal space or world is out of control, is hurting rather than helping, and does not comply to one’s wishes, demands, and expectations. Time and Space can never truly be controlled beyond a certain extent, and for the most part, one only has control over how one experiences, interprets, and uses these resources. The defenses and reactions that come up when one cannot control these things is useless against the experience of the passing of time, or the direction of everything in one’s environment or world. One can fear getting old all one wants to fear it, but one will grow older. One can prepare for the worst all one wants, or wish for the best, but one cannot control the entirety of economy, geological disasters, or the choices of others, etc. One can completely control his or her experiences, interpretations, and use of these qualities of life, however. This year appears to be bringing up a great deal of exploration around the issue of Control, and this is being played out in the world in ways that we have not been seen since the 1960’s. At this point, the fear of losing control in the world looks a bit like great fists desperately squeezing sand to hold on to it. For most of our students, we see that they are observing this more than experiencing it, but it may show up in the personal realm, as well, depending upon how much one is participating in the world at large. Even merely observing it is participation. We encourage our students to be a part of the world, if they choose. It is not an aim of our teaching to encourage one to rise above it or escape it, but to learn how to choose, and to choose how to learn within the experiences of it. There are two polarities happening the world at this point that are dealing with this issue of Control. On the positive side, we have a mass of fragments who recognize that a momentum is in place that is headed toward catastrophe on many levels. Their response is more along the lines of “steering” as a means of returning to control, but in order to get this steering under control, “the brakes” have to be put on. Hard. This has shown up in many ways this year where those who were at the mercy of a momentum that was not of their obvious choice have finally put on the brakes and are redirecting the momentum as best they can. This will most likely be seen even more so in the months ahead, where those who would most suffer from a harmful momentum are taking responsibility and doing what they can to help halt and redirect. It is the beginning of a revolution, and not in just the obvious ways, but in psychic ways, as well, and across several countries. On the negative side, a minority of fragments are digging in their heels from a paradigm that refuses to accommodate change, evolution, prosperity, sharing, empathy, etc. In short, they refuse to accommodate the shift from Young Soul paradigm of “there is you and me, and I’m going to win” to that of the Mature Soul paradigm of “there is you and me, and I know how you feel.” Furthermore, they refuse to accommodate the inevitable shift from the Debt-based Society of the past 100 year Platform to a Choice/Resource-based Society of the 21st Century Platform. Those fragments refusing to participate and adapt to this inevitable change among the masses of consciousness on the planet will most likely continue to do all they can to ensure their paradigm is not disturbed. Ironically, their paradigm would not be disturbed if they would not presume it should also be the paradigm of the masses. There is a way for them to carry on without too much inconvenience, but this is not particularly attractive to these Younger souls at this time. The scenario at this time is similar to that of a group of teenagers who have won the lottery because of tickets bought by the adults around them, with the teenagers not only refusing to share, but refusing to acknowledge that their winnings are precisely because of those who did not win. It is their right not to share, of course, but it is also their demise, as there is little value to anything that one does not share or exchange, from the wallet to the smile. Money (resources) has little value in the Mature Paradigm, unless it is shared, so a new system would either come into place to completely remove the value of money as it is currently understood, or a new way of distributing the resources and money of the world would come into play. Every fragment is free to live in his own world, so to speak, but there is never a time on the planet, regardless of predominant Soul Age, when one is not simultaneously, inherently in a shared reality with everyone else on the planet, and one’s choices and actions have impact on those with whom that reality is shared. This default of a shared reality is part of how a species grows in consciousness, because everyone’s choices and actions must be dealt with to some extent, and eventually these begin to be experienced in a way that is either pleasant or harmful. As one is on the receiving or contributing end of those experiences, more consciousness is brought to the process of choice, giving rise to greater pleasures and less harm. This aim toward pleasure is not required, of course, but it simply seems to be preferred, which would make sense because it feels good. We know of no Essence who truly prefers true harm over true pleasure, even if some Personalities choose to bring great harm in a lifetime. In the long run, Pleasure tends to be the higher aim, and is always the preference of Essence. Your world, at this point, is embracing the Mature Soul paradigm at an exponential rate, and every facet of the previous Young Soul paradigm that contributes harm is going to be addressed. Paradigm shifts are often brought about by masses, but in the Mature shift, the masses would most likely be geared toward the most peaceful, educational , and empathic of efforts possible for that change to take effect. Bumping up against the force of the Young Paradigm may, however, require some “fighting back,” and this may not be pleasant in some cases. So what you have in the world as Impatience and Martyrdom is being played out in a group that is struggling to retain control through the negative poles of Intolerance and Victimization, and another group that is struggling to regain control through positive poles of Audacity and Selflessness. There may be some cross over between the groups, but the division should be fairly clear. Most of our Older Soul students are as excited about this as they are terrified, and this is “just the beginning.” This polarized battle for control is more than likely going to end in control being lost by many before regaining footing again among the masses. For the next few months, this struggle may play out in the world much like a tug of war between a mass of ants and a Red Wood Tree, but it will only be in the breaking or dropping of the rope that either side “wins” and can move on to a preferable momentum. On a personal level, this playing out of Chief Features in the world may bring some anxiety and stress to our students. This would be natural, but not necessary. Your world is going to change. It is inevitable. And we can assure you that our students have the masses “on their side” in terms of moving everyone toward a paradigm that is more comforting to Older Souls than one has been in a long time. This is not a prediction, but a fairly stable probability that is consistent with many shifts we have seen. Every revolution is ugly for the chaos it brings at first, but then leads into patterns that can once again be considered beautiful. Translating all of this into personal terms, the next few months may find you feeling affected by unfolding of events in your inner or outer world that may look and feel rather chaotic, depressing, or even traumatic, but remembering that this is simply a process of rearranging a harmful momentum to be aimed toward a more pleasurable direction. To ignore, hide, or dismiss it is a choice to contribute to the chaos, but to observe, hold a vision, and live by example, would do far more for reducing the impact of such a revolution. Helpful thoughts over OCTOBER might be: 1) THERE ARE VERY FEW BAD PEOPLE, But MANY Better Choices The concept of “bad” is usually relative to your own ideas about what are important and meaningful choices, which may easily put you in the same position as “bad” to those on the other side of an issue. We dare say that nearly every one of our students have been on the receiving end of this label, or similar, when his or her own well-intentioned, personal choices were deemed as “bad,” or as harming another who stood against those choices, when in fact, nothing harmful was being done. Keep this in mind when making the choice to defend or condemn, as it may simply be a matter of differences in priorities, values, and meanings, and not a matter of good vs bad. To seek only to change the choices of another to accommodate your own, even if your choices are “clearly” better, is to do the same thing against which you are probably standing. To help keep your personal world from falling into an outdated paradigm that pits one side against another, it is always helpful to remember that every individual does the best he or she can with what he or she thinks are important or meaningful choices. Making your choices from there can help you to direct yourself toward what you choose, rather than spending all of your time trying to convince or halt another individual’s or group’s choices. Even in situations of oppression or true harm, it is more than likely your own capacity for making better choices that will save the day, rather than the focus on the condemnation of the oppressor. 2) BEING HURT IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING HARMED It times when the fears related to Control are emphasized, it is important to differentiate between the concepts of Hurt and Harm. Hurt is a reaction, and as such is an extension of choice. Harm is an intention. If you are slapped in the face, it may Hurt no matter who does it, or how it is done, but whether Harm was intended is a very important factor to consider. A person who is slapped in the face by someone who intends to Harm can experience far more damage than one who has been accidentally hit by a car, unintentionally. Harm must be intended for it to be True Harm. All True Harm Hurts, but not all Hurts are the result of True Harm. You have control over your Hurting, even when someone intended to Harm you. Your Hurt is your own, and can be processed as you choose, even if it includes Physical Hurting. A person who owns his or her Hurt tends to experience far less pain than someone who feels that his or her Hurt is someone else’s responsibility to heal. Even Physical recoveries are helped by this differentiation. Differentiating between Hurt and Harm, then, is vital for one’s health, recovery, or even revolution. If someone disappoints you, it can hurt, but if there was no intention to hurt you, and it is only a matter of someone making a choice that you wish he or she did not make, it is not Harm, no matter how hurt you feel. It is up to you what you do with this kind of differentiation, but it can be far less painful than waiting for, or pushing for, someone else to fix your Hurt. Hurt can be experienced in such moments as disappointment, as well as moments of True Harm, so it is easy to default to the presumption that your Hurt was intended, but more often than not, it was never intended. In an evolving consciousness and in an evolving world/paradigm, the responsibility of one’s own Hurting begins to be a priority for healing,and transformation to happen, rather than through resorting to blame. It is okay to hold someone accountable for the choices that he or she makes that may have been hurtful to you, or for you to make choices that will remove you from the hurt caused by the choices of another person, but your hurt is not something to which you must remain attached, even if Harm was intended. Knowing that Harm was or was not intended can help you to make better choices in response to the experience, rather than remaining in a state of reaction. Feeling Hurt is one way for you to become aware of what or who is not working in your life, and that is all it has to be. If you stub your toe, it would make no sense to blame the table leg. It simply means for you to be aware of that table leg and to be more careful, if you choose. If you were to wait for the table leg to apologize or do the work of healing your toe, it would be absurd. It is no different in cases where another person meant no Harm, even if you are Hurt. Your choices can be made from this awareness, and your hurt can dissolve, rather than turning into further ailments and patterns. NOTE: The current psychic revolution, or paradigm shift, on your planet is now in the process of grasping this differentiation, and making collective choices from there in as effective a way as possible. It is rather impressive. DATES OF INTEREST OCTOBER 3rd through OCTOBER 5th - a divergence (branching into parallels) Nexus with an emphasis on mass responsibility versus mass blame. Some will branch off into parallels where wars would most likely be of interest, while some will branch off into parallels where communication, education, responsibility from within is the emphasis, giving rise to revolutions and movements, instead of wars. This parallel shift is a divergence between those who are interested in a "Think for yourself" world, as opposed to those who wish to have others do the thinking for them. OCTOBER 20th through 29th- a major, lengthy divergence that extends from the previous, which may be marked by some rather spectacular world event, if this Nexus occurs. This Divergence would emphasize another round of examples for why everyone needs to work together, and not fall into the illusions of duality or delusional, divisive tactics. The "Think for yourself" may show up in problem solving patterns that are the result of matrices of contributing thought, rather than from an authority. The obvious effects from this Nexus may not manifest until the following year, as this appears to be relative to a long-term exploration.
  2. OMW - Jan 11, 2014 - My 2014 [MEntity] Hello to everyone. We are here, now. [MEntity] We understand this to be a discussion about your period of time ahead measured as 2014. [MEntity] In looking ahead at any period of time, be it the day ahead, a meeting later in the day, the month ahead, a year ahead, it can be helpful to consider a few factors involved in that period of time so that your experience is optimized toward benefit, or at least, as little harm as possible, for all involved. [MEntity] The first thing to consider, above all else, is your INTENTION. This shapes your experience more than any other element. [MEntity] This is not to say that your Intention shapes what happens to you, but it does lend itself to shape your *experience* of what happens. [MEntity] Your Intentions can contribute to what happens to you, but it cannot control them. The only control you have is over that Intention. [MEntity] Intentions are the stuff of Emotion. They are motivated by that element of your being. This is because Intentions are about Potential, and Potential is an Emotional element, an Inspirational element. [MEntity] Intentions describe what you wish to pull from the pool of potential and probabilities. [MEntity] Clarifying your Intentions, then, is creating the context of your experiences. [MEntity] Intentions must always be seen as potential, not as a conclusive state, finish line, or deadline. [MEntity] If your Intentions are constricted by an aim for a conclusive state, your experiences will tend to be far more painful than if you use your Intentions as open-ended, flexible, adaptive navigation. [MEntity] Think of your Intention as being the horse you have decided to ride toward a destination. The terrain ahead may or may not be familiar, but no matter how much you control your Intention, the horse will still make the choices for where to step, how to step, and whether to manuever around an obstacle or challenge. [MEntity] It is not amiss to compare your Intentions to something that is alive, because your Intentions require nurturing, rest, and patience, in much the same way that any living thing does. [MEntity] Sometimes this will appear to be demanded of you by the Intentions, and other times you may notice the necessity and provide it as you see this necessity. [MEntity] Regardless of your Centering, your look ahead at any given period of time will be assessed EMOTIONALLY, because Time is a construct of Emotion, at least in terms of experiencing it, so it is well-acquainted with the anticipations, fears, ideals, history, etc. of you. [MEntity] This is why it can feel like you have a "whole year ahead" and then feel like "where did the year go?" Michael "Check-in" [MEntity] Because we have not seen any responses to our greeting, and we know Troy has had connectivity issues here, we will pause for a moment to ask if everyone is following, and if there are questions about what we have shared so far. [GeraldineB] present and reading :) [AnnH] I'm formulating one. [ViP1] i'm here and following Michael [AnnH] or five. [Janet] No questions yet [Maureen] Good so far... :) [MEntity] We will continue. [ViP1] Actually, if I could ask one thing at this point - could you define INTENTION explicitly? [MEntity] INTENTION = the aim for extraction or creation of an experience from within a pool of potential [MEntity] We might define it with different words at different times, but this would always be the core. [ViP1] ok, thanks [AnnH] Is extraction ordinal and creation cardinal? [MEntity] To Ann, that is a fair way to understand those terms. ASSESSMENT [MEntity] The next thing to consider in terms of your year ahead is that ASSESSMENT of potential. It will never be enough to merely intend to fly, if you do not have access to wings. It will never be enough to merely intend to go to the moon, if you do not have access to a space program. Intentions can be wide, broad, and full of potential, but your ASSESSMENT of a period of time and its potential for supporting your Intention is vital. [MEntity] Your Assessment is not to determine if you can or cannot, but HOW. [MEntity] If a person intends to fly, but has no access to wings, he merely needs to Assess that he will need to create some, or find (extract) some. [MEntity] If a person intends to go to the moon, but has no access to a space program, he can Assess whether it is viable to enter a space program, or he can take the long road toward creating his own way of getting there. Intentions are all about possibilities and probabilities, but you must still do the work of extracting or creating from those possibilities and probabilities, and you cannot do this well without a sense of Assessment. [MEntity] If your Intention is to lose weight, you must Assess what would work for you, work with you, and then do the work. [MEntity] You cannot simply Intend to lose weight. You cannot simply Intend to "be happier." To travel. To publish that book. To write that book. To create that song. To be more peaceful. You must ASSESS where you are with yourself, with your resources, with your life, and then you have some substance with which to work. [MEntity] ASSESSMENT is an INTELLECTUAL element, and Expressive element. It is about giving form to potential. [MEntity] This means, regardless of your Intentions, it will help to have a PLAN. [MEntity] And finally, as you may have guessed, there is the necessity to DO. You must do the work that is in line with your Intention. You must do the work using the resources that you have assessed are available for the intention. [MEntity] Life happens TO you and FROM you. When fragments resign from the work of doing what is necessary to fulfill their intentions, or do not even clarify their intentions, the life can fall on the side of happening more TO you than FROM you, and this can be exhausting. [MEntity] So in looking ahead at your 2014, start with INTENTIONS, then ASSESS, then DO. No amount of prediction for your year ahead will replace this equation. [MEntity] When you clarify your Intentions, we suggest that you do this in terms of 3 months at a time. It can take 30 days to get use to a new intention, and 30 days to put it into effect, and 30 more to see the effects. Because Intentions for a year ahead are going to be broader, we can use those months as a way to cycle forward. [MEntity] Having 90 day cycles can help you to create and extract from your days what you intend, without losing your footing, but also not losing your flexibility. UTILIZING OVERLEAVES [MEntity] Now, more specific to each of you, it is helpful to consider your Overleaves in this equation. [MEntity] When thinking of your life, as a whole, think of your MODE as the equivalent of your Essence's INTENTION, while the ATTITUDE is the ASSESSMENT, and the GOAL is the DOING. [MEntity] In other contexts we might describe the Goal as the intention, but that would be a general use the term. We use the term here quite specifically. If you are PASSION MODE, the potential for this life, then, was seen as all about extracting and creating from Passion. [MEntity] Your Assessment is being done on a regular basis through your Attitude. You give form, structure, expression to your Mode through your Attitude. It is how you assess your resources for this life. [MEntity] And then your DOING, the work that you must do to fulfill the intention, is described in the Goal. [MEntity] We bring up this dynamic and equation for consideration because it is not just a matter of a single year that you create or extract experiences, but a matter of your entire life. And before 2014 came along, have long ago formulated Intentions, Assessments, and Activities, all described by the Mode, Attitude, and Goal, respectively. [MEntity] The underpinnings of any new or clarified or specific Intention will be your Overleaves. [MEntity] You cannot escape who and how you are. You can only work with who and how you are. And understanding who and how you are is one of the most empowering things you can do to support any and all intentions. [MEntity] If a man is born with no legs, it does not mean he can never run, but it will mean he has to understand that he has no legs, and he must go about the intention to run by taking a route very unique to him. If a person is born with the Idealist Attitude, he must understand his idealism as a way to move forward. Not that we are equating Idealism with leglessness, though some of our more humorous students might see this as appropriate to Troy's efforts to "run." [Maureen] Michael -- would we consider the Overleaves that we regularly slide to, as well? [MEntity] Maureen, understanding the nature of the Neutral Overleaf is to understand where they "slide," so while we would say that the Neutral Overleaf is the priority for understanding, it is also important to understand that is slides for the very reason of effort to get back to its positive pole, so understanding how that is done can be helpful. [AnnH] How does one apply the goal in the doing? [AnnH] For example, mine is Growth. [MEntity] Ann, in terms of the life, this would be considered along with the Mode and Attitude. A succinct way to describe your combination might be to say that your Essence's intentions were to expand upon what could be seen, observed, clarified, assessing through the resources of what is found to be "real," and then challenging all of of that. So the Doing is in the being challenged, or being challenging, anything that will provoke you, push you, move you forward toward a greater potential of what can be seen, Observed, and even expanding upon the limitations of what was once considered your "real" resources. [MEntity] This equation is not linear, but cyclical, so Growth will challenge both what has been determined as "real" and what has been "seen." And as resources expand, so does what can be seen, and the challenges move you further into evolving territories. [MEntity] Of course, there are positive and negative poles to all of this, so resistance may often shut down that equation. [AnnH] Indeed. MINI-REPORTS [MEntity] We cannot interpret everyone's Overleaf combination here today, but each of you can look at your combination in this light, and gain some insight into the underpinnings of your year. Understanding this as the infrastructure of any given year can help you to then clarify your Intentions even more adequately and effectively. [MEntity] What we will do now is offer to each of you a mini-report for your year ahead in terms of a basic theme that appears to be unfolding for you. This is OUR interpretation, and should not trump your intentions, your own sense of themes, and these are not predictions. We describe your potential theme for the year based on all that we have described above, combined. [MEntity] This is not a Platform. [GeraldineB] Please give a mini-report for both Troy and Bobby, too (Bobby lost connection due to storm) [MEntity] Think of our description as a thread that would be involved in nearly every experience extracted or created over 2014. [MEntity] GERALDINE: EMPATHY - 2014 looks to be themed in your continuing opening up layers of yourself that have been closed to time and space, and moving back into a state of innocence and trust that once served you well. We will define empathy here as the capacity to relate. [MEntity] ANN: CONTINUATION - 2014 appears to be themed in moving beyond the concepts of renewal, recovery, and restarting, and into the idea of continuing, continuity, and movng through. We will define continutation here as owning and nurturing the true essence of your life, your relationships, your experiences, and you. [MEntity] CLAIRE: REUNION - 2014 appears to be themed in breaking down barriers that have ever been in place between yourself and others who are close to you, and even within that have divided you. This is not a new pattern, but one that potentially comes into true fulfillment in 2014. We will define reunion here as true acceptance, Agape. [MEntity] JANET: HEALTH - 2014 appears to be themed in extracting or creating as many laughs as possible, as this is key to the health of several around you, and yourself. We chose the word "health" over "laughs" because the laughter is the means for healing, for returning a sense of health and stability. Though you are not a stranger to laughter, it would appear to have been sorely lacking for long enough that it has been determined to be a priority for 2014. We will define health here as "a return to a state of optimism." [MEntity] MAUREEN: TEAMWORK - 2014 appears to be themed in your networking, working with others, inspiring projects, encouraging movement forward with aspirations, while being an integral part of these. We could have used the term "projects" for this year's theme, but we think the theme of "working with others" is the priority. If the projects are completed, or not, is not the point. It is your sense of participation and contribution that appear to be what is seen as having great potential in the year ahead. We will define teamwork here as "cooperative contribution." [MEntity] ViP: WHOLENESS - 2014 appears to be themed in your closing a chapter in your experiences of fragmentation that have been in effect for some time. The parts do not have to come together seamlessly, but the parts have come home. This year appears to be aimed at extracting or creating from that state of wholeness that has been built from your collecting yourself from time, relationships, and within, so that it feels as if you can move forward again. We will define wholeness here as "confidence without defense." This is not a conclusive state, but a foundation upon which much can be built. [MEntity] BOBBY: PROSPERITY - 2014 appears to be themed in laying the ground for a literal income and potential ownership of career born of a hobby. This appears to be a year themed in follow-through, effort, and great clarity of intention buit from encouraging experiences over 2013. We will define prosperity here as "a return to freedom/independence." [MEntity] TROY: COMPLETION - 2014 apears to be themed in closing out cycles that have long been in a state of potential. It would be easy to describe the year as themed in "new beginnings," but it is really about the completion of intentions that have been an aim for many years. We will define completion here as "responsibility." [MEntity] We must conclude here for today. Your year ahead is your own. It is only partially at the mercy of "chance" and always affected by the actions and choices of others, but always shaped and navigated by your Intentions, Assessments, and Doing.
  3. OMW - Aug 18, 2012 - Honest and Accurate Self-Assessment Channel: Troy Tolley Note from Troy: This class idea came from my asking Michael about a personal assessment. I wanted to know "how I'm doing" with this life. Of course, they turned it all around on me and pointed out that they can't really do an assessment like that, not only because they have no interest in describing FOR us what we should or could be doing vs what we are doing, but they also pointed out that their entire teaching is based on having those tools for self-assessment already! So they pointed out that the Positive and Negative Poles were already a way to gauge where we are with ourselves. Still, I wanted to know if they would describe a method, then, for how to go about doing that. They didn't have to do the work, but maybe elaborate upon a method. So get your pens and paper all set. Make a list of: [this thought was never completed] Make a note of the Positive and Negative Poles for each of these next to each. Make sure you are leaving room for going back to write next to the list items. I'm going to turn the class over to Michael for the next part because I think they can explain the method much more eloquently, but also as you go through the assessment, they'll have more access to you for help with it. ******** MEntity: Hello to each of you. We are here. We can help facilitate your interest in self-assessment, which is not a new practice for any of you, though these more technical methods may be. Each of you are self-assessing on levels that tend to be fairly constant. Sentience tends to be built from this capacity for self-assessment. Consciousness grows from self-assessment processes, and this evolves the Essence over lifetimes. However, a great amount of self-assessment processes are never completed until Review. Only half of the process is usually initiated, with the second half rarely completing the circuit. We use the term "self-assessment" specifically here, as this is a process of judgment of yourself on your own terms. As we have said many times, Judgment is a healthy function of Personality and consciousness, and is, in fact, vital. The fear of Judgment generates a couple of the Chief Features, but it is not Judgment that is the problem there; it is the fear of it. Judgment is natural and healthy. There is a great difference between condemnation and judgment. So this is the first thing to differentiate. Your Self-Assessment is not self-condemnation. It is a critical eye, and is, therefore also, self-criticism, but again, criticism is a healthy tool, and is not the same thing as condemnation. Most tend to pass off self-condemnation as self-assessment and this makes the process of self-assessment a tedious, exhausting, and fruitless task for your consciousness to sustain. Self-assessment is not asking "what am I doing wrong?" "what am I doing right?" "what needs to be fixed?" Self-assessment is best understood as Self-understanding. The better you understand yourself the better you can then make choices from there regarding your emotions, actions, thinking. Our system is set up so that this self-understanding is encouraged and made accessible, but we do know that even this can become a mere batch of words that once meant something and then become static. Our Teaching is alive, however, and is revived by your participation and use of it, no matter how static the meaning or words have become for you. Self-understanding and self-assessment are not static, either. One does not reach a completed point of saturation for either of these. It is on-going. Time periods, experiences, relationships, careers, etc. constantly prompt relative self-assessments. There is no end-point of enlightenment. No blissful plateau. There is always more. [GeraldineB says plaintively] . . .No Nirvana? MEntity: There are states of bliss and "nirvana," but as with any state, they are not static. After the differentiation between self-assessment and self-condemnation, the understanding for what self-assessment is would be helpful. Self-assessment is simply an understanding of your nature, qualities, and/or abilities at the moment. What you do with that information is a different thing from self-assessment. For instance, if your self-assessment reveals a state that you wish to improve upon, then that effort to improve upon it is a step beyond self-assessment. This is important to understand because self-assessment is passive. It is much like a computer doing a self-assessment to reveal its state, but what you do with that state after it is revealed is a different thing. This is important because self-assessment is not something that should be considered a matter of good or bad, right or wrong. As long as one considers self-assessment to be something that would only reveal what is wrong, then the process can tend toward self-condemnation. Self-assessment only reveals what IS. This may seem a simple idea, but as you assess yourself, understand yourself, the subtle importance of this may become more obvious. And so we will begin. First: ask yourself why you want to understand yourself right now? Turning this assessment directly back toward you as you direct this assessment can help bring that basic state of wholeness necessary for true self-assessment. We encourage you to really feel this question. It is not just an intellectual process. Self-assessment is an honesty that is often avoided or ignored or taken for granted. Bring this honesty into your awareness by meaning the question when you ask it: Why do I want to understand myself right now? [Maureen] Do you want us to tell you Michael -- or just keep it in mind? MEntity: You may share your responses, if you choose to do so. We have posed the question to Troy so that he can participate, as well. Troy's response is as revealing as your own responses may be: "because someone has to." *** Responses *** [Martha] So I can: be happier and healthier and get the most out of my life; be content and confident and find a healthy intimate relationship; accomplish the things I want – writing, being a good mother, being good at my job. So I can feel good. [Janet] I am entering a new phase of my life. I have choices to make on which directions I want to take or to plan for. [Maureen] True Acceptance (not just the words...) [GeraldineB] Hmmmmm . . .Why? Answer could be "because this workshop is being offered today," or "it's part of an ongoing process that I've been working on for sometime." In general, my "goal" is to complete this Soul Age Level all the way through the 7th IM Review, and I think this needs a regular assessment on my conscious contact with Essence. [Bobby] Well, Essence has a plan and in order for me to help fulfill that, I need to understand myself. Also, just from a Personality perspective, it helps to not feel like a leaf blowing in the wind. MEntity: We will point out here that explanations are not the same thing as answers. We do not wish to throw your responses into question, but we will ask you, for the sake of this workshop: how much of your response was an explanation that resisted or cloaked honesty, and how can your response be put into words that are a more direct, simple truth. Or is your response standing as it is? [GeraldineB] A simpler answer is "I seek the truth" MEntity: Look below the explanations to see if there is something that can be described with more honesty. That was for everyone, not in response to Geraldine's simplified answer. [GeraldineB] oh, heck, and I was feeling so special -- was looking for a one-word response ? MEntity: Self-assessment cannot be a completed circuit without honesty. And by "honesty," we mean the inclusion of all of your bodies, not just treating this as an intellectual exercise. [Martha] I want to heal the damaged or neglected parts of me MEntity: Now we are seeing honesty. We are seeing answers. [Maureen] If I can "honestly" Accept my self and others -- that would be my goal. Wait -- it IS my Goal! [StudentX] I want to like myself more [Janet] I'm looking for practical means of using the Michael teachings in everyday life. This self-assessment seems of a practical nature. MEntity: It will not be this complicated or complex in further self-assessments, but this challenge may help reveal to you how you may have been going about self-assessment over this lifetime, so far. [Janet] And I stand by my original answer. MEntity: We will leave it to each of you to determine the degree of honesty in your answers, though we did offer the initial round of challenge for the sake of the possibility that there may be more honest and direct answers. And to help point out the difference between explanations and answers. Explanations tend to be elaborate, while answers are quite simple and direct, in this case, at least. Before we continue: if any of you would like to volunteer yourself up for our feedback about your responses as we progress, we are capable of providing this, but we will not do so as interference or imposition, and it must be understood that any feedback is merely our interpretation, not a trumping conclusion. We will start, then, with your initial responses to the first question. For Troy, we would suggest his response to "why do I want to understand myself right now?" might be a bit more honest in the phrasing of "because I always feel misunderstood." These suggestions, by the way, are not to say that some need correction over others. We do not wish to imply that. We are practiced in distilling information, and we only offer up a different way of saying what you may have already said. What we will share with you today, then, is a means for using self-assessment at any point in your life, and can be used within any context. For instance, Janet's is direct and honest, but may be phrased differently as, "because I want and need to make confident choices again." or "because I want to trust myself again." Martha's is direct and honest, as well, but may be phrased differently as, "because I'm tired of thinking and feeling that I'm damaged and need healing." [Janet] That's fair. [Martha] agreed MEntity: Your feedback about our feedback is welcomed, of course. You may call us out for being completely "off." We would not take offense. [Martha] I don't think I'm totally damaged ? Just in some areas MEntity: That is "good news." StudentX's is direct and honest, but might be phrased as, "because I want to LET myself like me." She is already capable of liking herself, but may still be working out how to permit this and experience it. [StudentX] hmmm...:) [Maureen] Well -- I'm tired of "trying to Accept" -- everything -- ALL the time -- I just want to "Accept" -- I want it to be easier. MEntity: Geraldine's is honest and direct, as well, and may be phrased as, "because now I can." Maureen's is honest, though broad in implication, and might be phrased as, "because I want it to be okay with the fact that not everything or everyone is okay." [Maureen] Yes! MEntity: Combining our feedback with your own is, at least, food for thought and heart, as you proceed with your self-assessment. The next part of your self-assessment is to determine where you may be leading from in your Personality's set of Overleaves. Here are the questions that will help you determine this. One of the following questions would tend to stand out as dominant for you right now: Do I find that I am focused more on accomplishing, doing, and/or planning something? Do I find that I am more focused on trying to understand why or how I, and other people, see and experience the world right now? Do I find that I am more focused on resolving conflicts with others, keeping the peace, being intimate and available to someone, or others? You may find that each of these resonate, because they speak to the three key elements of Personality, but one should tend to be the most dominant in your awareness at the moment's assessment. *** RESPONSES *** [Martha] one [Bobby] it use to be #1 but definitely #2 currently [Maureen] #3 is the highest with #2 running second. [GeraldineB] #2 [Janet] I am uncertain. It's either ONE or TWO but I lean toward TWO. MEntity: Troy would reply that his is 2. [StudentX] #1, normally but also tend to #2 MEntity: ONE reveals that you may be leading your life from the GOAL; TWO reveals that you may be leading your life from the ATTITUDE; and THREE reveals that you may be leading your life from the MODE. Understanding from where you are leading your life can reveal to you most-precisely where the hub of your Personality is at the moment, with the rest of your Personality traits revolving around that hub. Your revolving Personality traits are fed by that hub. All energy taken in from the life is collected by that hub and funneled to the rest of Personality. [GeraldineB] Question -- Since my mode is Observation, I don't see how that would ever be the chosen method for THREE [GeraldineB] I guess that's not a question as much as a comment needing some explanation MEntity: Geraldine, if you were to have found that your relationships were the dominant focus in the life, then Observation would have been leading your Personality, feeding the rest of your Personality. It would mean that you Clarity or Surveillance are affecting your relationships. Understanding where you might be in the poles of Observation would help you to understand those relationships. Do you wish to change your response to "3?" [GeraldineB] Previously, you've said that I tend to be overly in Surveillance, and it's true, relationships aren't the most important thing to me at this time [GeraldineB] No. [GeraldineB] I'm very much in 2 [GeraldineB] I just couldn't even see how to apply Observation to the 3rd option ? MEntity: Relationships and relating are always important. One is always relating, and therefore, everyone as a Mode. One may say that relationships may not be the distraction at the moment, or not the focus, but they will always be important. Right now, there is a peaceful state for most of your relationships, so they are not the distraction, but this has not always been the case, and then Observation would have been leading. But we digress. [Maureen] actually Michael -- to me 2 and 3 are entwined. It's hard to 3 without doing 2 as well. MEntity: It would be true that none of these can be done without the others being involved. However, one would be dominant in focus. For example, if 2 is in focus, then it would be that one is focusing on understanding or dealing with differences in perspective and philosophy as a way to help 1 and 3. If 3 were in dominance, it might mean finding commonalities, resolving distance, and emphasizing resonance as a way to help 2 and 1. We will put this a different way: ONE is "leading with one's Motivations and Actions, and/or aiming to understand another's Motivations and Actions" TWO is "leading with one's Philosophies and Perspectives, and/or aiming to understand another's Philosophies and Perspectives" THREE is "leading with one's Presence and Impact, and/or aiming to understand another's Presence and Impact" Obviously, Motivation, Action, Philosophy, Perspective, Presence, and Impact cannot be isolated, but there are tendencies for emphasis. [Maureen] It sounds like whatever is dominant in your Nine Needs might be showing up here. [Maureen] ...at this time MEntity: If one is leading by the Goal, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges regarding what you are trying to accomplish. If one is leading by the Attitude, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges to how you see the world and other people. If one is leading by the Mode, there would tend to be conflicts and challenges within your relationships and realms of intimacy. We realize the differentiations may be difficult to assess, but keep in mind that this is only for the sake of helping you understand the whole of you, not to choose one over the other as a means to cut out the other two. After our elaborations, do each of you still find your emphasis to be your original choice? *** RESPONSES *** [StudentX] Definitely, #1. [Bobby] yes, 2 [Janet] At work, I am leading by the goal. Otherwise, I believe I am leading by attitude at present. I'd hope that work is not my life. I'm trying to keep work from being my primary focus anyhow. [GeraldineB] Yes, still 2 "at this time" [Martha] still 1 [Maureen] It may be more with #2 -- but I keep on getting pulled into #3 -- and I would rather be doing #1 MEntity: Janet, this is an important differentiation: those areas of the life that are necessary obligations are still important to consider, but would not be the defining factor for assessing your emphasis. [Janet] Agree, Michael, so I think I am primarily focused on #2. [Martha] I can see where I've spent a lot of time on 2 and 3, but I think 1 is in the forefront at the moment MEntity: Your emphasis is what you find yourself drawn to on your own, not what you find yourself obligated to address. For instance, one may be involved in projects at work where #1 is dominant, but underneath all of this, and persistent beyond the workplace, is the challenge of different perspectives and philosophies in emphasis. [GeraldineB] I was using the prism of my interest in TLE and the teachings as this is where my preference is showing up MEntity: There are no "right" answers in your self-assessment, and one can always assess again at another time for ever more insight, trying out different paths of assessment. The point of discerning which Overleaf is leading is to help put into context where your life is at the moment. This means that if you are having problems, troubles, obstacles, there are solutions to be found on what is determining your life right now. For instance, if Janet is looking to bring more confidence to her choices, and she has determined that Attitude is leading, then it is not about what she should or should not DO, but a matter of how she THINKS about what she is doing. If Maureen finds herself torn between the aim for emphasis on her Goal, but finds herself pulled into areas related to her MODE, but has determined that ATTITUDE is leading, then it is helpful to understand that the solutions (and problems) may be found in how she THINKS about what she is DOING and FEELING. [Maureen] that makes sense [Janet] I'm considering that. So since my attitude is Stoic, I should strive for more tranquility in what I'm thinking? MEntity: This may seem quite simplistic, but it is profound in its implications, and helps to hone directly into the heart, head, or body of where you are in your life right now. Using our associations of #1=Goal=DOING, #2=ATTITUDE=THINKING, and #3=MODE=FEELING, we suggest each of you now state your first assessment addressing the response to that first question. For example: Troy - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I feel misunderstood." Why do you feel misunderstood? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING." In your own words, share your own dialog of self-assessment in a similar way, if you wish. *** RESPONSES *** [Martha] I want to do something about what I think and feel about being damaged and needing healing (and I am!) [Janet] I want to understand myself because of what (how) I think about my ability to made good choices for myself. [Martha] and I want to look honestly to see if there's something I'm missing or avoiding that could help that process [StudentX] I'm conflicted about thinking I should be "doing more", in general, and accepting that what I do is enough. [GeraldineB] Ok -- using Michael's suggestion: "Because I can now" -- in combo with "I seek the Truth" -- Using #2 Attitude/Thinking -- Truth removes the "should" from Idealism -- it allows Idealism to be "all" as in coalescence MEntity: Janet - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I want to feel confident, and trust, in my choices again." Why do you not feel confidence and trust in your choices right now? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING." [Janet] Okay I'll buy that MEntity: We are not looking for answers, yet. Just assessments. [GeraldineB] hmmm . . .my brain's cat's cradle has knots in it MEntity: Geraldine - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I can." Why can you now? "Because of what I THINK about what I'm DOING and FEELING." These examples should help you to streamline your assessment to this point, then. [GeraldineB narrows her eyes at Michael] -- that seems like some philsophical circle thinking [Bobby] you did suggest # 2 lol [Janet] I have to admit to some skepticism as well Geraldine, but I'm waiting for the application of the assessment. [Janet] But of course I may be THINKING about it all too much. ? [GeraldineB] LOL -- Obviously, I am too [GeraldineB] so, let's keep on going ? MEntity: We will address the confusion or "skepticism" here, before continuing. There is no circular philosophy here. It matters what you think about what you do and feel. It matters what you do about what you think and feel. It matters what you feel about what you do, or think. At various points in the life, one matters more than the others, or dominates and leads more than the others. Whatever dominates, defines the others. If you think your actions and feelings are useless, pointless, and making no difference, that is very different from thinking your actions and feelings are useful, purposeful, and make a difference. If you do not do anything with or about your feelings and thoughts, this is very different from doing something about and with your feelings and thoughts. [GeraldineB] Ok -- I get that -- makes sense MEntity: If your feelings about what you do and think are apathetic, frustrated, or angry, this is very different from the feelings of enthusiasm, eagerness, and excitement. Geraldine, what you THINK NOW makes a big difference in why you "can understand" more now. There was a time when what you thought actually kept you from being able to understand yourself and others. [GeraldineB] I totally agree with that -- I do understand that perception [GeraldineB] I've really been working on imprinting and conditioning MEntity: Janet, there have been other times in your life where the question of what to do was not so much of concern, because there were parameters in place that took the place of having to really "think" about how you felt or what you were "doing." [Janet] This is true. My lack of confidence now I think is associated with how wide open my choices may be. MEntity: As your consciousness has grown, so has your self-consciousness, and parameters are far more inclusive of what is important to you, not just what you should or can do. It is now not just a matter of CHOICE, but a matter of what you THINK about what you are choosing. [Janet] Agreed. I think I see where you're going now. MEntity: "Think," being key. [Janet] lol. It's a common verb for me. MEntity: Now, look to the Overleaf that is specific to this assessment. Each of you can now share that Overleaf that is relative to the leading Goal, Attitude, or Mode. *** RESPONSES *** [StudentX] Growth. [GeraldineB] Attitude - Idealism (sliding to Skepticism regularly) [Janet] Attitude is Stoic [Bobby] Pragmatist [Maureen] Realist [Martha] Flow MEntity: Keeping in mind that the aim is assessment, not solution (just yet), it may be clear to you where you are in your Doing, Thinking, or Feeling right now. Do not consider where you "slide." For StudentX: Is your DOING in Confusion, or is it Evolving? For Geraldine: is your THINKING in Naivety, or in Coalescence? For Janet: is your Thinking Resigned, or Tranquil? and so on. [Janet] My thinking is rarely resigned but not always tranquil. [StudentX] I believe that I strive a lot. [GeraldineB] My thinking is in coalescence [Martha] I don't think I'm in inertia [StudentX] Striving is growing. MEntity: Some Poles may need elaboration for clarity. We will offer some feedback. [StudentX] or evolving. [Martha] I think I need more on "suspension" MEntity: For instance, "resigned" in this context does not mean that you have stopped thinking, but rather that your Thoughts may have you resigned from the process of choice, instead of having you peaceful and tranquil about it. [Martha] Barbara's Taylor's chart says "free-flowing" for the pos pole of Flow, but I have "suspension" on my spreadsheet MEntity: Geraldine, it is true that your Thinking now tends to put the pieces together that allow you to understand much better now, but when you cannot understand, it can be because of naivety, which is when the pieces were expected to come together in a way that is failed or disappointed. [GeraldineB] yes -- a lifelong "work in progress" -- getting better MEntity: Martha, we find the more meaningful terms for the Poles of Flow to be Freedom and Inertia, or Momentum. [Martha] OK, I like those better [Martha] I can see where Momentum applies better than Inertia MEntity: The difference being: Freedom is much like having a paddle for the boat that is moving with the flow of life, as there may not be much that can be done about that flow, but the steering is all your choice. Inertia, or Momentum, is being without the paddle, forced to a narrow trajectory, or using the paddle to try to go against that flow. For the most part, this process of self-assessment can be quick and easy at any point in the life, and will often tend to lead to a realization of patterns in your tendencies for challenges and solutions. Again, this assessment is not for anything other than grabbing a quick snapshot of where you are with yourself. By now, in this practice of assessment, one would have been able to determine the motivation for the quick assessment and the basic context of the life or circumstance at the moment of assessment. Understanding yourself in this way can then help you to make more conscious choices regarding where you are, where you want to go, what you want to do, be, feel, etc. It can also free you from self-condemnation, and free you from the fear of judgments. For example: If Janet wants to understand herself because she wants to return to a sense of confidence in her choices, and reveals that the strength and weakness in her confidence is being dominated by her THINKING, Intellect, and current Philosophy, which is within the spectrum of her Attitude between Tranquility and Resignation, she now knows enough about herself to make more conscious (and confident) choices. What she does with this assessment is her choice, but she might realize that she has only resigned from her strength of confidence and trust in her choices, and and that it might just be time to surrender to, or find Tranquility in, the same trust and confidence that has always served her so well. Your assessment is not an answer or solution, but a basis for finding your answer or solution, if one is wanted or needed. If StudentX wants to understand herself because she wants to let herself like herself more, and she has assessed that it is what she is DOING that is leading her life right now, and that her Doing is either leading her into Confusion, or Evolving her, she can then pay more attention to what she is already DOING, or needs to do, as a means to support her permission to like herself more. Are each of you putting all of this together in a way that is useful and meaningful? [Maureen] yes [Martha] yes [StudentX] Yes [GeraldineB] Yes, very useful -- trying to reword it so I might pass it on [Janet] Is a possible solution -- to switch focus from thinking to doing or feeling or from doing to thinking or feeling -- as a way to move forward, if that seems appropriate to the situation? MEntity: All of what we share tends to be simple equations, even if elaborated upon in words, and "plugging in" the key elements can bring each of you to your own understanding, assessment, and solutions. Janet, for the purposes of Self-assessment, you want to understand what you are already using, or leading the life through, and this tends to be where the strength lies, even if it is also the source of weakness at the moment, however, it will always be important to flank that with the other two. If you are already leading the life by what you think about what you are doing or feeling, then shifting the emphasis to the doing will not change what you think about what you are doing. [Janet] I tend toward thinking always, which leads me to ask if our tendency is tied to our centering. I believe I am intellectually centered. MEntity: However, the key here would be that when you take action, or DO, that you actively choose what to THINK about that. [Janet] You have given a lot to think about today! ? MEntity: For instance, you may not know what is beyond the choices that must be made in the near future, but you know from experience that you CAN make those choices, and that is an important part of what you THINK about making choices. One's Centering and Part do tend to help bring the corresponding Overleaf into lead for the life. There are other rounds and paths of self-assessment that can be done, and we will share these over time. The one we shared today is the most immediately effective and far-reaching in its impact, if one were to truly comprehend and apply its beautiful simplicity. We will conclude here for today. Good day to each of you.
  4. ENERGY REPORT October 2010 October marks the “season” of emphasis on the Chief Negative Feature, or the basic collective Fear of the year, with this year’s Fear being Arrogance and Self-deprecation. Regardless of your own Overleaves and Chief Feature, this collective fear would have some impact upon you if you are participating in the world in any meaningful way. It might be more accurate to think of a Chief Negative Feature as your Protector, rather than as your Fear. Although each Chief Negative Feature refers to a basic fear, the terms we chose actually describe how one protects oneself from that particular fear. For instance, Arrogance is how one protects oneself from Vulnerability. Self-deprecation is how one protects oneself from Inadequacy. September brought a close examination of both the general collective Attitude for the year (Spiritualist), and one’s own Attitude, which means that personal philosophies and perspectives about your life, or the world around you, may have come under contemplation. This contemplation of your philosophies and perspectives included the self-assessment of where you are so far this year in relation to your original ideas and intentions. For those who have stayed on track to their satisfaction, and who had decided that life is looking “okay,” then the last two weeks of September may have felt more like a gentle pause, or a coasting along, between the steps in the life. It may not have had much action, but simply moved forward, uneventfully into October. These people are more than likely eager for the new season, for new experiences, for a return to action and tangibility. For those who may have realized that they are not quite on track with their intentions for the year, this self-assessment of intentions eventually moved into a kind of paralysis, or self-hypnotism, during the last two weeks of September. For these people, the launch into the first week of October may feel a bit like finally gasping for breath after realizing one has been holding one’s breath for so long. These people may find a sense of scrambling to catch up, much like waking up from dozing off while driving a moving vehicle. Suddenly, direction and calibration may return, possibilities may suddenly seem feasible again, and quick adaptation is understood to be in order. For both those who are, and who are not, on track with their sense of accomplishment this year, there may be a sudden sense of “now, where was I?” experienced, and a return to focus and presence is felt. Arrogance and Self-deprecation are, both, methods for protecting one’s Self-esteem. Arrogance protects against Vulnerability (being seen too closely), and Self-deprecation protects against Inadequacy (not being seen closely enough). Arrogance is about the over-amplification of the sense of Being so much so that one feels exposed, triggering a need to hide behind the facade of vanity, shyness, or pride. Arrogance is about Being Too Much. Self-deprecation is about the diminishing of one’s sense of Being so much so that one feels eclipsed by disappointments, failures, falling short of expectations and standards set by the self or others, triggering a need to hide behind humility, invisibility, self-abasement. Self-deprecation is about Not Being Enough. The great questions pondered over September then might be summed up as, “Am I actually failing myself, and/or others?” or “Am I actually making a fool of myself, and exposing my weaknesses?” Both are actually asking if your own idea of who you are is matching where you actually are in your life, how you are in your life, and who you are in your relationships. In general, we see that many were facing disappointing responses to those questions during September, but we also see a nice recovery from those realizations now manifesting. Most of our students, and much of the planet, is dealing directly and effectively with the issues of Self-esteem that Arrogance and Self-deprecation bring to the surface, so we do not see the end of this year being consumed by the fears represented by these Chief Negative Features. However, the issues of self-esteem will most likely still find collective examination in your shared world. The issues of self-esteem are already being showcased by the media via the wave of bullying and its effect on others, including suicide. As October unfolds, we see that most of our students might be walking a precarious, but steady, line along the issues of vulnerability and inadequacy, doing their best to keep themselves in check, correcting their perspectives, courses, and steps as necessary. We see most of our students realizing that there will be times that one cannot or does not live up to one’s own expectations or those of others, and that this is okay. We see most of our students realizing that sometimes taking risks and “going for it” can actually leave one looking like a fool, feeling exposed and embarrassed, but that this is okay. Both disappointment and being a fool are a part of life, and worth the value of what is possible to learn from those experiences. For a few who may have a harder time in the months ahead, understanding how the year may be showcasing your issues of self-esteem may help you to better monitor yourself so that you do not trick yourself into thinking that Arrogance or Self-deprecation are your only options as protectors. Being aware of your self-esteem issues can help you to take that ONE MORE STEP, or to hang in there for that ONE MORE DAY, or to try ONE MORE TIME. And then again. And again. Because you CAN. Helpful thoughts over October might be: 1) I AM SAFER and MORE EFFECTIVE WITH CHOICE THAN WITH FEAR As long as you are making the best choices you can make from within any limitations you may feel, you are doing better than you would if you were to hide from the results of previous choices, or lack thereof. Continuing to recognize your capacity for Choice, even when the only choice may be in trying one more time, one more day, one more step, one more way, is a far safer and effective way of Being Who You Are than any fear can protect you from being who/how you feel you are not. 2) BEING IS A PROCESS, NOT A STATE You will never fully BE who you think or feel you wish to be, because there is no conclusion to Being, because Being includes Evolving. Every experience, fear, success, disappointment, setback, loss, illness, bad day, good day, suffering, pleasure, love, hate, indifference, joy, etc is a process of exploring and becoming, and there is no final finish line that secures who you are. Everything you feel, think, and do evolves you in one way or another, and this cannot be stopped, even by suicide. Keeping this in mind may help you to remember that the challenges of life pass just as the pleasures of life do, and both will return as they always do. Knowing this can help bring a sense of sustained peace through any and all versions of who you are, who you may be, how you are, how you wish to be, and through all experiences that happen to you, and from you. DATES OF INTEREST The days between the 11th and the 16th may bring to many of our students a reunion of some sort that triggers a sense of inspiration, or a sense of sentimentality and sadness. Many of you appear to have Agreements to cross paths with fragments from your past that have long been lost, brought back into your awareness because of the Nexus on the 13th where a merge or parallel realities brings those who were separated from you by choices in the past, back together briefly.
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