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Found 6 results

  1. KurtisM

    Stoics in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from Michael Speaks: October 2015] [Kurtis] Hi Michael. I'd like to ask how the Stoic appears/acts in social situations. [MEntity] The Stoic shows up in social situations as fairly unflinching, unsurprised, and sometimes uninterested. The Stoic has a built-in capacity for slowing down processes so that reactions are either evaded or diminished in a way that does not betray those processes underneath the surface. In the Positive Pole, the Stoic can seem cool-headed, attentive, and informed, but without the biases and reactionary prejudices that might often dictate the perceptions and behaviors of others. In the Negative Pole, the Stoic can come across as tedious, lacking passion and interest, lacking attention, and generally difficult to communicate with. The difference between Tranquility and Resignation is fairly clear and distinct in the social situation. The Positive Pole Stoic could be described as being calmly present, whereas the negative pole may be described as defeated distraction. For the positive pole Stoic, even when there is little expression and reaction, there is an aliveness, but when the Stoic is in the negative pole, there is a draining effect that can be felt by those around her.
  2. KurtisM

    Cynics in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from Ask Michael - September 6, 2015] [Kurtis] Hi Michael, I'd like to continue as with last time on how the Cynic appears/acts in social situations. MEntity: The Cynic shows up in social situations as the person who "does not miss a thing." The Cynic sees what others do not see, and can be difficult to navigate in social situations because they naturally "throw a wrench" into the smooth social lubrication that is in place. Depending on the overleaves of the Cynic, this person may be more open about this, or more passive-aggressive about their perspectives that challenge the presumptions of others. In the Positive Pole, the Cynic usually sees no need to emphasize attention to what others do not see unless that attention is beneficial. Contradiction does not have to be offensive or derailing of social structures. Contradiction merely points out what is missed as a means to help. However, when the Cynic goes into the Negative Pole, this emphasis on what others may have missed is rarely helpful and serves only to undermine, or Denigrate. For example, if someone is being complimented on how beautiful she is, the Cynic may notice the spinach in her teeth. Everyone else has noticed, too, but may not say anything. The Cynic will likely say something. This information about the spinach in her teeth is simply information, but the Cynic can turn that information into a means to help, or a means to hurt. Pulling her aside to inform her is helpful. Stating, "well, you would probably look more beautiful without a tree in your front teeth" would not be as helpful. It is the same information, but the Cynic must learn how to deliver that information. Another way the Cynic can fall into the Negative Pole is if there is nothing of Contradiction to actually point out. Instead of allowing for the fact that there may be no Contradictions or need for Contradictions, the Cynic might then begin to make up contradictions simply for the sake of being contrary, to denigrate. This is the Attitude who can give the backhanded compliments, and the loaded statements that are cloaked in smug evasiveness like conversation bombs waiting for someone to step into. This is one of the Attitudes who can dismiss the responsibility of communication by saying that they are simply "telling it like it is," or "just telling the truth." When a person must qualify his or her social relationships with dismissive statements such as these, they are more often than not very clear about just how manipulative or irresponsible it is, and wrapping it in "bluntness" and "truth" seems to justify the lack of responsibility.
  3. KurtisM

    Idealists in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from Ask Michael - April 5, 2015] [Kurtis] Hi Michael, today i'd like to ask about how the Idealist appears/acts in a social situation. MEntity: The Idealist in social situations is constantly measuring against an ideal. Both the self and others are being assessed, sized up, compared, measured, and calculated in ways that can be mind-boggling to those not an Idealist. Idealists can be of the most clearly and strongly-opinionated of the Attitudes, with some of the strongest arguments in support of those opinions and perspectives. Idealists can tend to read the languages of your body in ways that go far beyond the use of your words. Idealists will often respond more to what was not said than to what was said, because Idealists can see/hear beyond the facades or measured responses. Idealists are so prone to looking beyond what IS and into the projected patterns from what is, that they can sometimes be out of sync with the experiences of others around them. In other words, while others may see/hear exactly what is being said/shown, the Idealist is accessing dimensions that extend from there. In the Positive Pole, there is Coalescence. This is the pulling together of the necessary parts that fulfill the ideal or the assessed pattern. This means that the Positive Idealist may compare, measure, assess, and predict accurate patterns, but always remembers that there is more. There will always be more. This Idealist may be very clear and accurate in her understanding of the self or another person, but always makes room for variables. The Positive Idealist is not conclusive. This lack of conclusivity and room for variables is also what makes them of the most Naive, the Negative Pole. Idealists will often "see the best" in you, in herself, even as there is neglect, abuse, and pain. Idealists can, also, hold you or the self to a standard of expectation that is often unmatched, leading to another version of Naivety that is constantly pitting you against what SHOULD be. So Naivety can show up here as the inability to discern what further parts might be necessary for fulfilling an ideal, or show up as the inability to see that there are no further parts so the ideal cannot be fulfilled. Idealists will always tend to challenge your resting place for what is expected of yourself, themselves, and others.
  4. KurtisM

    Pragmatist in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from Ask Michael - June 7, 2015] [DianeHB] Hi Michael, could you talk about how the Pragmatist appears/acts in social situations? [MEntity] The Pragmatist in the Positive Pole can show up as attentive, quiet, and observing of how others are maneuvering, behaving, functioning, and producing, offering insight, feedback, and direction only as necessary or as beneficial to the dynamic. The Pragmatist in the Negative Pole is your micro-manager, your "nit-picking" and badgering presence, either in obvious ways or in passive-aggressive ways that are not productive, but tend to actually undermine efficiency. By "efficiency" here we mean that an intended effect is lost in favor of the feeding dogma. Because Pragmatists can be using any other Attitude, this benefit or undermining can come in the guise of any other Attitude. Many Negative Pole Pragmatists are known to say something along the lines of "I'm just being truthful." This is not limited to Pragmatists, because all other Attitudes can also access the Pragmatist. An Idealist can express the same if he's using Dogma, for example. However, most other Attitudes do tend to stay on their own Axis and not involve Pragmatism. As usual, the above is highly simplistic and not indicative of the complexities of a human being, but it can be helpful in understanding the dynamic of a trait. [Excerpt from OMW - Sep 16, 2012 - The Circuitry of Overleaves] [Diane_HB] I often notice myself using Observation in social situations, not necessarily Pragmatism. [MEntity] Diane, keep in mind that Observation Mode is not literal observation. You may find yourself observing others, but this is Pragmatic for you. Keep in mind that Pragmatism is a philosophy, a filter on reality. In a social situation, that will either manifest as being Practical, in your actual expression of self, in your exchanges, and in your evaluation of the worth of those exchanges, or as Dogma, stuck in routines that you have learned as a way to filter people out. Dogma may show up as an inflexibility in what you find worth talking about, if you talk at all. Many with Pragmatism will be those who walk into a social situation, and then quietly, eventually, exit and wonder why the attempt was even made.
  5. KurtisM

    Skeptics in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from Ask Michael - June 7, 2015] [Kurt] Hi Michael, I'd like to continue with my series of questions. This time on how the Skeptic appears/acts in social situations. [MEntity] The Positive Pole Skeptic is curious, even if presented with surprising, challenging, or discrepant information, behaviors, or expressions. The Skeptic understands Expression and relies on it for gathering information with which she can then sort. The Positive Pole Skeptic would rather know than not to know, so it is important to that Skeptic to keep from imposing her own restrictions on others. The Negative Pole Skeptic has already decided you are wrong. She may probe you for more interaction, not as a means for sorting, but as a means for holding it up to mock or discredit. This Skeptic may not even ask you or interact with you because she has already decided you are wrong, uninformed, or some form of threat to her being right. The above may be obviously or quietly brought to a social situation.
  6. KurtisM

    Realists in Social Situations

    [Excerpt from a Private Session on 2/28/2015] [Q] How do Realists appear/act in socializing? [MEntity] The Realist tends to show up as being the one who expresses the least amount of surprise and reaction to anything anyone might say, do, or feel about events, relationships, experiences, etc. Even if the Realist is surprised, there would tend to be a lack of outrage or shock. They are of the least-reactionary of the Attitudes because, even if something was not anticipated, there is a realistic processing that happens that assumes room for non-anticipation. In the Positive Pole, they can be excellent sounding boards and sources of insight for help in returning to a balanced perspective. However, in the Negative Pole, they can be exasperating as they shrug off and distance themselves from reaction AS a reaction. When in the Negative Pole, the shrugging off is a defense, a reaction in itself, and tends to be a way for the Realist to keep things from “getting too real.” The difference between a Realist in the Positive Pole and a Realist in the Negative Pole can often be the difference between listening and offering insight vs quickly dismissing and even leaning toward a shaming “I could have told you that,” or “I told you so,” or “What did you expect.”
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