Feelings are never the truth

[AnnaD]

FEELINGS ARE NEVER THE TRUTH

 

This is probably my favourite quote. I have suffered all my life from clinical depression, and have had one episode in my early twenties where I was suicidal, and was admitted to hospital. I have been on antidepressants, to give myself the best chance, and more than anything, I give thanks and gratitude to my family and TLE. The truth of FEELINGS ARE NEVER THE TRUTH is a lifesaver for me. My thoughts and feelings can convince each other of feeling devastated, desolate, and day after day sadness. What I realised late in my game is that I can work with my attitude, and then, my thoughts and feelings. I can still do things, achieve, live a life, I can aim to thrive, and survive, and that is a spectrum of relative success depending on the day, how work has been, and how energetic I feel. Lots of things affect my mood, but realising that my feelings (dark well that they can be sometimes) isn't all of the truth. Thank you especially to Maureen Greenaway for finding this for me. I post this here to help remind you of this truth. 

 

 

from April Energy Report 2015

 

“Feelings” are not just emotional, not just of the body, but intellectual, as well. Feelings begin with thoughts, are reinforced by emotions, and then are felt in the body. This is part of why we have always said that the Attitude is key to the relief from your Chief Features. If you can change your Attitude, you can change everything. In other words, if you can change your thoughts (intellectual/attitude), you change how you see things and relate (emotions/mode), which can change what you do and how you feel (moving/goal). How you feel about a person, about life, about plans, about the future, the past, about anything is an indication of how you use your Attitude.

Your “feelings” are not information. They are byproducts. They are results. This is not to say that feelings are not helpful, but we know that many of our students have been taught to “trust their feelings,” which can often translate into “what I have decided is true must be true.”

We have said this before, and will say it again here: FEELINGS ARE NEVER THE TRUTH.

Feelings are how you feel about the truth. Feelings are how you react to the truth. Feelings are how you navigate the truth. Feelings tell you how you feel. Feelings tell you the story of you in relation to the truth. Nothing else.

To a great extent, then, feelings can be very helpful, but only when they are understood as YOUR STORY, NOT THE TRUTH. This is why it is important to trust your feelings. Because you benefit from learning your story. You benefit from understanding your story. You benefit from seeing the results of your processes and navigation of thoughts, emotions, and actions. But when you let feelings stand as indications of the truth, of fact, of any reality beyond you, then you fall prey to the negative poles of you that then trigger your Chief Features.

Again, your feelings are beneficial and there for a reason. They show you the sum of your thoughts, emotions, and actions/reactions. But they are not the truth. If this is difficult to understand, consider these scenarios:

A mother discovers that her child is gay. Her child “comes out” and frees himself from the fears imposed by society. She is devastated. She feels her son has betrayed her. She feels he has condemned her life, and his.

Is this true? Has his choice caused all of these things? No. Of course, not. These feelings are merely the reflection of her story. Not the truth, and nothing to do with her son’s choices. It is how she feels about the truth, but her feelings are not the truth. Her feelings are as valid as anyone’s, but they are hers.

A son “comes out” as gay, and his mother is devastated. She rejects him. She decides that she cannot accept him. He loses his mother. He feels the loss, the pain, and the sadness of all of this.

Are his feelings fair? Do these feelings seem more justified than his mother’s? Of course they seem to be, but they are not. They are of the same stuff. They are his feelings about the truth, but they are not the truth. In other words, his feelings are a result of processing his mother’s choices, but they are not the truth about his worth, his value, his choice. His feelings are no indication of what he should or should not have done. They are his story. They are valid.

Years later, the mother has a change of heart, an awakening, a realization, and embraces her son. He accepts this reunion and is relieved. Both are truly happy. Both feel happy, closer than ever, and inspired.

Are these feelings the truth? No more than the pain of disappointment and shock. No more than the pain of rejection. “Good” feelings are still just your story. They are how you feel about the truth. They are never the truth. When the mother rejected the child, the truth was that he was gay. It was nothing more than that. When the son felt the pain and lost in the rejection, the truth was that his mother did not have the capacity to comprehend a truth. When both were elated with joy at their reunion, the feelings were about the truth of that reunion. The reunion was the truth, but how they felt about that was still their own stories.

In each of the scenarios above, the truths can remain the same, and the feelings have been completely different. No feelings would have changed the truths. Feelings would have only told each about their part in the story.

However, it is important to note: the more negative and restricted a feeling, the more it indicates that you have either rejected the truth, wish to change the truth, or do not understand the truth. Negative feelings are not bad. If you feel bad, you have rejected the truth, wish to change the truth, or do not have the whole truth. On the other side of this, if you feel good, you have accepted a truth, or some part of the truth, embrace that truth, or some part of it, and have a greater understanding of the truth, or some great part of it.

And this brings us back to the Attitude of this year.

The shift away from Resignation and toward Tranquility can only come with an acceptance of some truth, or some next part of a truth, can only come with the embrace of a truth, or some greater part of a truth, can only come as you gain a better understanding of the truth.

What “the truth” is can be tricky to separate out from your feelings, but it is there, and it is often very simple. The truth is never very complicated. The truth can be complex, but not complicated. There is a difference.

 

 

From Maureen Greenaway, who posted this Michael quote in Facebook Truth Love Energy today, thankyou.

 

It is not necessary to avoid or “heal” depression, nor is it necessary to seek only a state of Joy. What will tend to bring a wholeness to the life is the awareness of who “you” are even as you experience those fluctuating feelings. Depression is merely an attachment to one state of feeling and identifying entirely with it, rather than differentiating oneself from the experience of that state. This would be true of joy, too. Joy is a PART of life, not the goal of life. Depression is a PART of life, not a condemnation.
In light of that, our process would be one that describes a process of detachment and a broadening of consciousness, rather than that of a healing or escape from a state of feeling.

 

 

And from a discussion earlier today on Michael Teachings Facebook from Christian Falde, which I found speaks for my experience too. 

1) part of depression is a chemical imbalance. I trained my brain to that imbalance by embracing the depression. So if i can re train my brain...like you can the rest of your body...then a nee balance could be found.

2) Michael stated that feeling are not truth...or something similar. When i recognize depression happening, my thoughts are embracig the feelings of worhtlessness, failure, doubt, resentment. I stop and ask..why...and where did that come from.

3) analyze the shit out of everything. Is this true? Do I have evidence for this? 

4) recognize that you need to feel. This comes from a reaction. If feeling things makes me depressed...then don't feel. That actually makes it worse. So feel the feelings..cry..laugh..melancholy...whatever...but let them pass.

5) find the real. Self care. Bath. Wash the clothes. Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Do ALL THE THINGS. For me, movement has been very helpful in grounding in the real.

These things helped me more than i realized. I could see the depression for what it is. Not some monster to be fought and defeated. But a part of me. A necessary part for dealing with different parts of life. But not something that needs to be held onto. Which is what thinking of it as foe to be defeated does.

 

 

Edited April 30, 2017 by AnnaD
needed more detail.

[AnnaD]

Is it possible to have this put in the Library in Health/Depression/Grief? that is where I was looking for it, the actual transcripts, obviously, not my or anyone elses comments....is this a good idea?

[PPLD]

Anna, I wonder…

 

You are such a Scholar-Scholar in terms of Overleaves (except Attitude) and in terms of balance in Frequency and symmetry in Ratio.

 

To be honest – and by that, in no way diminishing your own experience – I’d like to challenge your interpretation.

 

FEELINGS I seriously doubt are your concern in the depression. I dare say that the true concern is the content of the imprints, or rather a GAP in the content of the imprints you carry.

 

I’d like to ask;  

• Were you given a toolbox for a highly logical, structured, detached and matter-of-fact little girl who also was freakishly intuitive (however contradictory it might seem in the context…)?
• Were you given tools to deal with the impact and influence you had (as observed externally) and knew you had (as experienced internally) even when it contradicted the observed role setters?
• Where you provided the differentiation between learned intellectual knowledge and instinctive practical wisdom?
• Was your way of relating to the world around you, if not confirmed, so at least recognised and acknowledged?
• Were you given tools to empower yourself or enslave yourself, regarding your unique gifts?

These are not questions for me, and I do not need to know the answers.

The reason for me posting them here is to clarify my interpretation;

 

I do not think FEELINGS are the major concern. I really think it is about power of observation and knowledge, that is the base for it. Observation and knowledge that had had to be subdued because the tools to trust them, to communicate them and to deal with the consequences of them, were never given.

 

THEN of course, at some point the bloody feelings came into the equation. And looking at them as the symptom (as in the quotes above) is naturally helpful, but that’s also all they are – a symptom. Not the core.

 

I hope you don’t find me being impertinent or insensitive. (Well… I do understand if you do, really… ?  It is however not my intention.) It's more like the tools that I think belong to our "trade", the Scholarly aim for objectivity, detachment, neutrality and hence wisdom; Look beyond the surface. Strip down. Wash off the embellishment. Derivate. Get to the core. And then - take it from there.

 

I found the process described in this session very helpful, when working with any new and unfolding or old and unsolved subject/issue/topic/idea/goal. 

 

(Hugsies from Entity Mate? )

 

[AnnaD]

Thanks for sharing your interpretation, Pat. I can vouch for this:

1 hour ago, PPLD said:

• Were you given a toolbox for a highly logical, structured, detached and matter-of-fact little girl who also was freakishly intuitive (however contradictory it might seem in the context…)?
• Were you given tools to deal with the impact and influence you had (as observed externally) and knew you had (as experienced internally) even when it contradicted the observed role setters?
• Where you provided the differentiation between learned intellectual knowledge and instinctive practical wisdom?
• Was your way of relating to the world around you, if not confirmed, so at least recognised and acknowledged?
• Were you given tools to empower yourself or enslave yourself, regarding your unique gifts?

 

 

Probably the support for my perspective came mainly from my Mum and Dad. They didn't understand so much, but they accepted me, and challenged me. These are excellent questions to ask, and there is a lot of "No's" that I hear myself answering.... 

 

Me being a know it all (bitch), or the flip side, a dumb blonde, is a tricky thing to navigate socially, so there is a large element of me as a youngster wanting to please an audience, a tendancy which didn't last long. 

 

These questions though. So much truth. The other question relevant here is: name some situations where it was ok to be an experimental Dr Bunsen Honeydew (Crazy Scientist guy from the Muppets) treating life as a laboratory test kitchen, without getting emotionally involved in the content? lol. Also when was it alright to also be Swedish Chef. These guys were my heroes and between them excel in experimenting, blowing things up just to see how it goes, and testing things out. That is who I am lol.

[AnnaD]

Pat, I didn't think you were being impertinent, I took your interpretation as a fair challenge to my perspective of my history. Your questions are very relevant,  

15 hours ago, PPLD said:

• Were you given a toolbox for a highly logical, structured, detached and matter-of-fact little girl who also was freakishly intuitive (however contradictory it might seem in the context…)?
• Were you given tools to deal with the impact and influence you had (as observed externally) and knew you had (as experienced internally) even when it contradicted the observed role setters?
• Where you provided the differentiation between learned intellectual knowledge and instinctive practical wisdom?
• Was your way of relating to the world around you, if not confirmed, so at least recognised and acknowledged?
• Were you given tools to empower yourself or enslave yourself, regarding your unique gifts?

 

 

to question no 1: Were you given a toolbox for a highly logical, structured, detached and matter-of-fact little girl who also was freakishly intuitive (however contradictory it might seem in the context…)?

yes and no, I kind of (embarassingly, I now find), hated science for a long time, in school, my parents hated it, (weren't science orientated at all, weren't university educated or university aspiring), and I didn't for a long time, understand a lot of the (later really obvious) causal connections between doing things, and consequences of doing things. There were many ongoing mysteries in my life, which, thankfully, the science that I was taught from nursing, and from later postgraduate papers, very much filled in large gaps in my understanding. I love science now. I wish I had taken chemistry and physics, (I did take some applied physics), but I love the understandings I can make between certain things, understanding the causal relationships and patterns is a buzz for me, and can be built on and extended. Its real. It is robust and resilient. It doesn't cower to popular opinion, politics, or bad weather. It remains consistent under such and such conditions. Knowing these things is direct power. As a kid I was always seeking to understand causal relationships, but science wasn't encouraged, it was actually discouraged, and so learning it as an adult has been liberating and life giving. Learning applied biology and physics is empowering, I decided to go into psychiatric nursing where I quickly found I didn't belong. I like concrete definite things, so um misinformed decisions are littered along my path lol. Also, does any other Scholar have this? Where, some nice caring person wants you to learn the successful strategy for achieving a particular goal, and, as a Scholar, you have a perverted need to experiment with the strategy and test it out on your own terms? Me and my parents, and other authority figures, class 101 - 999. This is where I wasn't obedient or a good girl. I was like a demon behind a steering wheel, having fun. Emphasis on having fun and learning by my own choices. How to rein in my preferences for Scholar (3 past grand cycles), and Artisan (3 past grand cycles), when so much fun can be had if the instructions are ignored. yes. 

 

To question no 2:

15 hours ago, PPLD said:

Were you given tools to deal with the impact and influence you had (as observed externally) and knew you had (as experienced internally) even when it contradicted the observed role setters?

no. This is where things got very challenging for me and people dealing with me and my impact, my certainties observed externally, and experienced internally. Things got interesting and shit started to fly and hit fans. Contradiction was a precarious bridge to cross for me with delicate niceties having to be observed in conscientious ways with my *enemies* and *naysayers* blocking access to my crossing the bridge. I had to learn how to include these *enemies* and *naysayers* in my overall plan as a strategy of "we will all win together, under my strategy", if you let me cross. If you accomodate and include my observation, my contrary perspective, my contradicting viewpoint, data, etc etc. I will include you to your benefit if you can include me and my contradictory perspectives/etc/etc. So this was learnt on the fly, and has been learnt within the last ten years. Being able to validate my data, my viewpoint, with external empirical evidence, is key to convincing others, of the worth of my viewpoint. Key to it. I  guess I do not expect to gain any ground or favours with anyone who will not benefit from my exclusive viewpoint. I will only ever convince others of my viewpoint if it tangibly benefits them, and that is fair. Support and confidence are a case by case provision.

 

15 hours ago, PPLD said:

Where you provided the differentiation between learned intellectual knowledge and instinctive practical wisdom?

 

Um, well, over time, these things get validated, as the situation arises, is this what you mean?I guess I understand learned intelllectual knowledge to be theory, or unapplied untested empirically unverified, internally unverified, unvalidated theory, and practical wisdom to be applied/empirically verified, empirically validated, internally verified and validated, knowledge. I wasn't left unsupervised, in critical situations, if that is what you mean. I normally chose (if it wasn't a life or death consequence), to experiment and ignore instructions.... 

 

Pat I don't really know what you mean with this question sorry.

15 hours ago, PPLD said:

Was your way of relating to the world around you, if not confirmed, so at least recognised and acknowledged?

 

So my overleaves, are Goal Flow, Attitude Spiritualist, Mode Observation, it was recognised. I had to do most of the confirming myself, during the good seldom times where I could be experimental, creative, and "lets see what happens if..." moments. I got the most out of these moments, and I guess, my favourite activities of both gardening, and cooking, allow for these tendancies to develop and thrive, with concrete outcomes to them. I love concrete outcomes, and concrete learning. I love application of things with tangible results. My Father is a King cast Scholar and he was my closest ally and also my biggest opponent, on various issues where I got experiimental and he got unexperimental and successful-strategy-is -a -successful-outcome-ditch-the-experimentation-anna. it is funny because he hated mess, and I liked making mess as a critical byproduct of experimentation and creativity, and I had to demonstrate to him,when I wanted to become vegetarian as a teenager:

-You have this much money and you have to do a weeks meal dinner plan, cook it, clean up your mess afterwards (most important part) and feed four of us, are you up to it? You have 4 meals to prove you can do it.Ok? Yes Dad. 

 

Dad and Mum are now mainly vegetarian. Dad loves vegetarian food, and loves my cooking. 

 

I bought a house 2 and half years ago with land to garden and landscape on. It was truly a blank canvas. Dad cautioned me to not turn the garden into a "mess". "It is a low maintenance, easy care section Anna, don't go ripping up the weedmat and remove the stones, they will keep the weeds away" (and prevent plants from growing, Dad). 

 

So over two years, I have managed to rip up all the weed mat, and remove the river stones, in order to create, and plant, edible and ornamental high care, non easy going, high maintenance garden. I love it. my parents live at my house, I live with Yvonne, and my parents pay me rent. My father has praised my vision, I have planted edible evergreens (avocados/guavas/pinenuts/olives/lemons/mandarins/limes/figs/rosemary/peaches/nectarines/raspberrys/pineapples/pomegranates/blueberrys/mountain pawpaw/icecream bean/hops/macadamia/feijoas/apples/camellias/dahlias/cherry guavas) which are thriving. These plants require pruning but I am doing that. my parents just mow the lawns. My idea of easy care is evergreens and shrubs that private year round privacy and outcompete other weeds. So I have proven another internal confidence of my own, that I knew I could be successful with, to me and my Father. 

15 hours ago, PPLD said:

Were you given tools to empower yourself or enslave yourself, regarding your unique gifts?

 

Opportunities to express them? taught tools to empower or enslave myself? I guess so. I just had to prove to people that although I am experimental and hence, inefficient, and not able to guarantee a definite successful outcome *while I am experimenting*, I can be successful and I can create robust, resilient, concrete creations. 

[AnnaD]

Pat i read that link also and will return to it. It is useful and keeps the assessment simple and applicable. thank you. Hugsies to you too ((((()))))