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Troy

DISCUSSION: Healing a Sickness in Our Community

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Maxim [memorial profile]
44 minutes ago, Troy said:

I'm glad you are seeing the love and compassion, but I bet it was always already here.

 

Yes, it was there along with everyone else's.  You make a good point for a recipe to make love and compassion.  Start with some good conflict (available at your local Trump conflict store).   Stir. Add some salt.  Strain out the love and compassion.  Roll in some common grounds.  ETC.

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AnnH
On 1/3/2018 at 4:13 PM, Joanne said:

 

Contrary to everything stated above I, somehow being female and not paying any taxes, was able to put twin girls through college at the same time w/o going bankrupt, learned and dabbled a little bit in the stock market which helped US to purchase the house we are living in now, continue to have an excellent credit score year after year (I am the only one paying the bills, so I guess I can take credit for that too) and I will probably be making all the decisions about my husbands retirement within the next year or two.

 

Due to this TRUMP EFFECT I have found it, sadly, necessary to defend myself and my capabilities as a mother, as a wife and as a female!  I stand up against this EFFECT because I am a MOTHER who has raised 2 DAUGHTERS that will, l hope by my actions, refuse to be treated by anyone with such disrespectful words and actions!!!  FYI:  The husband in EXAMPLE 1 has 2 daughters!!  I guess I stood up for them too!!  Go me!!  

             

 

 

       

And you made it possible for your family to be successful and for your husband to work and to not have to worry about the day-to-day running of a home and raising children. It drives me nuts when stay at home spouses are thought of as parasites.

 

Go YOU!

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AnnH
On 1/4/2018 at 1:20 PM, Maxim said:

@Troy
@Bobby

 

 

Don't mind me as I show up now and then.  I mean no harm and love you all.  I'm looking for hugs, loving embraces and passionate groks.  When I die there is no place to go so in a sense we will still all be hanging out together.

 

Have fun.

 

So many hugs and much love to you, Maxim.

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Luciana Flora
1 hour ago, Troy said:

 

One of the most comforting things in life for me is to count on people who fall into Conflict to work through it and learn from it. Conflict is a poor indicator of whether Love and Compassion are involved. The greatest Loves of your life and the greatest sources of Compassion in your life have probably seen Conflict.

 

The more we learn about Love, the more we can see that love and compassion when we thought it was missing. That really helps when we are feeling overwhelmed in a messy conversation like the deleted thread. We tend to think that Love and Compassion are pretty things that are wrapped in pleasant packaging. Compassion and Love get a really bad rap because of clever corporate marketing and corny new age belief systems. But Compassion takes work and can really leave us raw on both the giving and receiving end. And True Love is inclusive and allows room for our bumbling efforts and mistakes and misunderstanding. Compassion and Love are not always pretty and pleasant.

 

I propose that Love and Compassion were already present in both the deleted thread and in this current thread. In the deleted thread, I saw a lack of common ground or lack of common goal but everyone seemed driven by some angle of compassion and love. We just had different groups of people we were hoping to help. And this current conversation was born from an effort to nurture love and compassion when I started it and I haven't seen it stray from that.

 

I'm glad you are seeing the love and compassion, but I bet it was always already here.

I have to say I've never seen conflict that way. Conflict for me has always been a way of destroying relationships. And that's what I've seen happen at many times in my life.

I really do very little, if ever I have seen an effort to understand after the conflict. But I'm glad this happened here.

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Troy
8 hours ago, Luciana Flora said:

I have to say I've never seen conflict that way. Conflict for me has always been a way of destroying relationships. And that's what I've seen happen at many times in my life.

I really do very little, if ever I have seen an effort to understand after the conflict. But I'm glad this happened here.

 

I’m glad you get to see some positive examples of how we can navigate conflict. Most of us are taught to avoid or repress or deflect or not cause conflict in favor of peace, but that’s a false peace. True peace is when we allow room for conflict and make the effort to learn from it.

 

By by the way, I’m not talking about abuse or harm. Conflict isn’t the same thing as abuse or harm. If you are in an abusive relationship, you don’t need to negotiate or listen or stick around. Your priority is safety. Arguments, debates, failed expectations, differences of opinions, different perspectives, and different experiences that are in conflict aren’t forms of abuse or harm. These things are just people being people. 

 

We can always try to think of Conflict as an invitation to creative problem solving, instead of a conclusion. 

 

Thanks for sticking around through this!

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Jean Hamill

As I have grown older I have belatedly realised I can't change anyones mind about anything, but as I sit back and ponder I sometimes understand their point, so it is all a learning process.

And Hjortur I sometimes write something, then press the button re-read and think wow I could have explained myself more clearly, don't blame yourself too much.

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