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FEBRUARY COMMUNITY CHALLENGE: Love Yourself

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Jennifer Segal

EASY TO LOVE: My joy :)

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: My tendency to stop working when things start to go right.

 

MY COMMENTS: I think joy is something that's easy to love in just about anyone. I have a lot of joy and enthusiasm bubbling around and gratitude just for being here in this personality. I find it hard to love my unambitious moments or self-sabotaging ones, because they undermine some of the things I love most.

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ckaricai

 

EASY TO LOVE: I’m smart. 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: Not disciplined enough. 

 

MY COMMENTS: I pride myself on being able to think critically, and the struggle sometimes is to not overthink things or to try to challenge my own perspectives if a different idea makes more sense. 

 

As for discipline, I start things but don’t always finish and I want to be able to finish big long projects.

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Sam K
On 2/13/2018 at 11:08 AM, DianeHB said:

@Eric It was a real Aha moment for me when I found out from Nicko's session on Anxiety that people in Flow tend to be really anxious and stressed out (because we have to learn to let go - ha!). I read it at a time when my control issues were causing intense anxiety for me at my last job, and I was on the verge of quitting. I was working in a very chaotic environment with emergencies and mistakes happening all the time. This was the pivotal point of my Turning Point in 2016. When I realized my overwhelming anxiety was caused by trying to control what I couldn't, I made a conscious choice to let go every time a situation came up that I was not responsible for dealing with. That got me to back off from wanting to quit on the spot. Michael said I would've gone into Breakdown if I had quit, because of the resulting feelings of failure and anger. Another thing that has helped a great deal with anxiety is learning about the wounding behind my priority of Purpose, and addressing that wounding directly.


I, too, can confirm the connection between anxiety and Flow.  I'm clinically diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and have been since I was nine.  It's largely under control now, but it generally manifested through obsessive thoughts about questions or scenarios to which I could not possibly find a satisfactory answer. 

For instance, the first time it reared its head that I can recall is when, as a child, I tried to imagine what it was like to be dead and buried.  In classic child fashion, I somehow both intuitively accepted life beyond physical death AND imagined myself just rotting in the ground, and it never occurred to me that there was a conflict.  Anyway, my inability to conceive of being completely unable to sense, move, or think drove me to several days worth of distraction, and my school counselor decided that this was a bit above his pay grade.  This sort of occasional episode of anxiety and rumination would continue throughout my childhood.  This culminated in a breakdown (and probably a Breakdown) in my senior year of high school, after which I decided that I was going to sift through all of my spiritual and philosophical beliefs with a fine-tooth comb and reevaluate everything.  That took about two years to work through, but the anxiety gradually became less and less frequent afterward, and I started to find Flow easier to access.

So yeah, I'd call that an extremely Scholarly version of trying to control what I can't, or in this case, trying to know what I can't.  To be fair, I also think I was kinda redirecting more "mundane" anxieties about school or whatever into things that I saw as being more "worthy" of anxiety.  Ridiculous in retrospect, but this is how my mind works.  I still catch myself doing it sometimes; I'll get anxious about my future becoming a teacher, say, and I'll distract myself by pondering a political or spiritual issue.  I won't necessarily be any less anxious, but I'll feel better about being anxious.

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KurtisM

Im with you @Sam K and @DianeHB.

I struggled with debilitating social anxiety & constant over-anticipation as a result of my CFs all through Middle and High School.

Not to mention that I was so stubborn, every time a change to my lifestyle had to occur I would become paralyzed, shut down and fall into heavy resentment.

 

I remember back then that I was knee deep in my 3rd IMs - Poles & that my body struggled against health issues of blood pressure, blood sugar crashes, poor absorption, poor sleep and a near-constant depression I refused to admit to.

I still can't believe how I just let my symptoms slide- I would and could never do that now. I guess that was the -Pole of my Attitudes convincing me "it is what it is".

 

The last big anxiety spike I had was in my final effort to get a job.

I'd been forced to go out with my dad & hand out resumes having so little work experience and club activity.

I had to do an interview for a book store, and didnt even have to meet anyone. But I studied so hard on how to perfectly present my self, information & my worth that I crumbled. But I got through it.

I had to do another interview face to face a while after & having learnt from my first time I actually felt pretty good about it. I got a call from them later, but I declined as it was right after a surprise essence agreement landed me a job at a local family oriental restauraunt.

 

After I landed a job I started lightening up, talking to Essence, engaging in lost hobbies & went Vegan.

Nowadays most of my struggles with Flow come out when something breaks and tries to redirect my momentum. I've struggled with that as a base line through all the above.

That constant struggle between stagnant routines & revitalizing freedom. Between resenting change & embracing change.

I find it interesting how our stories of flow & breakthrough tie so well into our roles.

Edited by KurtisM
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Kate

Easy to love: I'm quick to get a grip and understanding of complex things 

Challenging to love: My desperately low moods

 

Comments: yes good to observe a little, without the constant drive to try and make it better/change to something else/work on it in general. 

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Jeroen

EASY TO LOVE: My love and compassion for the Earth, others, and myself.

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: I struggle with speaking up and expressing myself around other people, especially with people I may not know. Then when I do speak up, there are these feelings of self doubt and anxiety afterwards.

 

COMMENTS: In a session with Michael, they indicated that there is imprinting from early life which has had an ill effect on my throat region but that I am actively working on healing this. I agree with this assessment as I feel more comfortable today with my voice compared to what I once experienced. This challenge is still ongoing and I continue working on healing but I think there has been gradual improvement.

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Ingun

EASY TO LOVE about myself:  My ability to help and support others to heal themselves and embrace their wholeness - is one way to put it.*
 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE about myself:  That part of me that didn't manage to do the right or choose better - when I knew what I did was not right at all.

 

COMMENT:  * It includes teaching internal navigation while consciously accessing, allowing and trusting the information & energy in their Lower and Higher Centers. It increases empathy and understanding and becoming more aware and empowered.

 

 

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Moonfeather
8 hours ago, Jeroen said:

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: I struggle with speaking up and expressing myself around other people, especially with people I may not know. Then when I do speak up, there are these feelings of self doubt and anxiety afterwards.

me too 100% 

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DianeHB

EASY TO LOVE: My willingness to challenge myself. 

 

I could've said a lot of things here, because there is very little about myself that I don't love, anymore. But what I love and appreciate the most, and what has made the most difference, is my willingness to face my wounding, to change my mind, to ease my defenses, because part of me always knew there is something better on the other side. And there was. 

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: My appearance. I have always had a hard time seeing myself as beautiful, and while it has gotten better, I still don't love my body without reservation. Especially over the last few years as I'm seeing myself age. 

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Wendy

EASY TO LOVE: My soft heart

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: My hard heart

 

COMMENTS:  I really had a hard time with this.  I almost put "my toes" as easy to love, because I weirdly really like my feet.  The rest of my body, not so much!

 

Added later...it occurs to me that it's probably more accurate the opposite of what I wrote, though others love my soft heart more for sure.  I'm still coming to terms with it.

Edited by Wendy
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Rosario

EASY TO LOVE: My peaceful, playful and enthusiastic nature...that helps others tap into their potentials.

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE:  I cry easily, particularly when I get angry or stressed.

 

COMMENTS:  The latter is very healing...  :-)

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Marigold

I'm kind of late to the party, but here it goes.

 

EASY TO LOVE: My creativity, curiosity and reasonableness.

 

DIFFICULT TO LOVE: My shyness, problems with self-discipline and insufficient passion.

 

COMMENTS: I think that if I had an easier time meeting new people and forming relationships, my life would have been much more exciting and more diverse. I also think that I have self-karma around wanting to be or achieve something (in my case-to become an artist which is actually connected to my Life Task in this lifetime) but at the same time lacking the necessary drive and enthusiasm when it comes to putting in the effort to actually achieve my goal/goals. Like for example practicing and getting better. I just find it dull, uninspiring and don't know how to fix this problem. And then my Goal (which is Flow) falls/stays in Stagnation. It's a vicious cycle.

 

I believe that aiming towards the solution of at least one of the issues that I mentioned will naturally lead to an easier resolution of the others.  For instance, becoming more disciplined and productive (in other words, using the so often neglected on my part Moving Center- that poor little thing :-D) will push me towards the positive poles of my other overleaves more often which will in turn help decrease the influence my CFs have on my confidence around interaction.

Edited by Marigold
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Jana

EASY TO LOVE: my willingness to own my own crap once I can see it

CHALLENGING TO LOVE: Pushing my views on others (and my toes)

 

MY COMMENTS: This was a bit difficult to come up with. I don’t experience strong feelings either way. At least not usually. I used to have a lot of negative self-talk in my younger years, but now there is just a sense of acceptance. I might get frustrated with some of it, but I don’t hate it. As for what I love about myself, I went with what I went with because it’s what makes my life much easier and helps me learn. But I could also say “my playfulness” or “my introversion”.

Where I find a true challenge, proving whether I love myself, is not to go against myself, especially when it’s a bit inconvenient or conflicts with other plans or interests. I think actions are what matters, how one treats themselves. To do what is good for me. Being true to myself and authentic. The opposite of being a “good girl”. 

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Erin

Hey, I know it’s March, but self-love and introspection are subjects that apply to me.  So I’m late to class again-  sorry!  *dunce cap*

 

EASY TO LOVE:  My resolve, insight, creativity and determination to live this life despite much trauma and adversity.  I am known among my friends to be very fragile, but tough as nails simultaneously, and I often laugh my way through life’s tragic comedies. Furthermore, I play the best dance mixes at parties ?

 

CHALLENGING TO LOVE:  Mental illness.  I have PTSD, severe anxiety and major depressive disorder. In particular, I have mild body dysmorphic disorder, and it has turned me toward shameful superficial self-vanity, appearance obsessed perfectionism.  I am aware that these are all issues I am here to experience and accept - learn to live with the best I can, but it’s so hard.

 

 

COMMENTS:  Having such a busy life - for better or worse, has lead to periods of intense exhaustion.   Coupled with the lies my brain tells me (“you are mediocre at best.”   “Remember how dumb you sounded at so and so’s house?”)  it has made for a difficult run.  Experiencing profound trauma as a child rewired my brain in many ways (there is actual research about this) which has caused me long term mental and physical health problems.  I don’t know exactly what I’m doing half the time, but I know that laughter, finding humor in all the dark places when appropriate, has helped, and makes my quirks endearing to others.  

 

This has been an intensively introspective life, which often leads to self-centeredness, though unintentional.  My goals are to stop being  so embarrassed by my shortcomings, let myself cry if I need to cry, and accept myself for who I am in this life.  Once true acceptance settles in, I feel the rest will follow.   In the meantime, reaching out and ASKING FOR HELP has been vital, and making an effort to be more social with those I trust IRL and online.  In some ways I have been successful, and in others, I’m still wandering around a mountain, lost on a trail somewhere.   Hopefully, I’ll at least be adopted by a family of wolves.    Or bears, whatever.

Edited by Erin
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Maxim [memorial profile]

Suggestion for future challenge.

 

Share how you found the Michael Teachings.

Could include finding TLE specifically.

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