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Is there some sweet nexus or divergence? Or is it plant medicines clear all your karma, you pass all your exams with ease, see more colors and things just fall into place??


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Leela Corman

As I consider it, I think I'm working with Power mode in some fascinating, beautiful ways right now. I've been having some transformative experiences, alone and with certain friends, that have been opening me even more to my own power and authority, sometimes explicitly, as in, that's the topic at hand with a friend. Sorry I'm being kind of vague but some of this is too personal to be interesting to anyone else. I'm feeling my power as an artist and as a woman more than every right now. It's very much an extension of things that have been going on for me in the past two years, where I've been reintegrating all this stuff I'd rejected, hard, in my 20's, out of a desire to protect myself from my own power and from being hurt by others. I was a passionate young person in Discrimination mode. I was playing in a (not at all good) band, and people were beginning to react to me like I was a powerful person. I saw the effect I was having on people and at first it kind of went to my head - I'm not a soft person by nature, and at 22 that was especially true. I could see that I wasn't treating people, especially men, well (Oppression), but it was like a train I couldn't stop. Then I RAN from it, buried all of it, my sense of personal power, my acceptance of being a little "scary" as a person, everything. In the past two years I reunited with some entity mates who had a very profound effect on me; they SAW me, all the things I'd thought I'd hidden or cut off, and saw them as beautiful. Becoming friends with them brought it all back to the surface to be reexamined, and now I feel I own it, and with the brain of a 45-year-old I don't think I'm going to do any damage with it. So it's coming into my teaching as a form of love for my students and an ability to offer them a little wisdom from my own life, and into my work as a greater degree of artistic power, and also I get to make music again, which is really fun, and I'm not mean to anyone now.

So, uh, I guess so far this season's working out for me. But I am here for all your tales of sadness and grief because another effect of all the above is that I have much greater capacity to receive people now. I hope you guys can all find ways to connect with your own personal power sources this season, in whatever way works for you. I wish that profoundly.

And as I'm typing this, this song, "Power Failure", comes on, by one of my favorite bands:


Edited by Leela Corman

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