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ENERGY REPORT: June 2018

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Christian
11 hours ago, Nadine said:

So, how's the Energy Shift working out for you guys?

 

I had 5 different dreams sunday night and each one woke me up.  So sleep was lousy and has continued to be lousy. 

 

The only one I could remember anything about involved Mcdonalds giving out free iguanas with every combo meal.  And not just regular plain iguanas.  All were unique and brightly colored.  It also seemed that each iguana was unique to the person who had it even if the person rejected it. 

 

IDK what that has to do with anything, but thought it get a giggle or a WTF from someone. 

 

More generally,  It feels like my dreams have been exploring possibilities.  Now if I could just remember them..

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Luka

Well, I don't know if it is just coincidence, but the official paperwork to change my gender is in now. When I came home from magistrate on Monday I felt like someone had lifted a boulder made out of led from my back. I can't believe it is over. It takes some time to sink in.

 

Last night was the first time in long time I had some plain old fun in Astral. I seem to date there, which is really funny. See, I made a concious decision to opt out from all relationships about four years ago. I've been single for much longer time, but then I just decided I will stay that way, thank you very much. I have no second thoughts about it. I've never been good in romantic relationships (for a romantic person it is a killer), and frankly, I'm tired of the complications of them. So, I just said "I'm done". So, soon after that I began to date in Astral. I meet constantly men I have never met in real life, and the encounters are clearly dates. These encounters are never sexual in any way, but they are romantic. These dreams feel very real, and I remember then well when I wake up, and they always make me feel good. I really would like to know more about what is happening and why I do this but seems like some part of me does feel it ain't over 'till it's over. It has been quiet on that front for months even in Astral, but last night I had a thing with an Asian guy. I woke up pretty happy. Oh, and I met my favorite game developers too. Last night was a busy night and now I feel good.

 

Resentment and regret have been slowly lifting, and went back to normal levels (for me). I'm always regretting my life in back of my mind, and I'm always a bit sad. It is like I was born sad, it is always there. But  now I feel I'm back to normal state of mind and in control of my mind.

 

And now GIMME NEXUS! Who the fuck has decided we don't need one? I have decisions  to deliver and I feel all the time like I'm dragging them behind me.

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Bogi
4 hours ago, Luka said:

And now GIMME NEXUS! Who the fuck has decided we don't need one? I have decisions  to deliver and I feel all the time like I'm dragging them behind me.

 

Yes, please.

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KurtisM

@Luka, I'm pretty sure that it's US that chose this nexus bubble.

Our Essences may have arranged it, but we all chose it.

We chose it because we wanted to accelerate on a fast-track into a Mature Soul World- a world of peace and unity.

Even the Younger Souls want that- regardless of whether they only want some people unified and at peace, and others removed entirely.

 

So now that we have it, we've all come to the realization that how we've been doing things DOES NOT work, it needs to change.

We're tired of seeing violence and drama through our news feeds & being numb to it, like there's nothing we can do about it.

We're tired of fighting each other, or alternatively, resisting so much the urge to punch others in the face.

We're tired of living in a divided world. We want the divisions gone. Younger Souls want the other side to disappear, but Older Souls want the other side to reconcile.

 

Hence now we've come to the realization that we have to use our power to make change, that violence is unnatural, unethical & unnecessary, and that we never were separate from one another- we just feigned amnesia to live in as self-involved a way as we could.

Edited by KurtisM
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Luka

@KurtisM I love how "big"  you always think. It is awesome that there are people who  do so, because I do feel quilty sometimes that I don't. I can concentrate in this little life I live, and that is all I pretty much can manage or comprehende. I do know the Big Picture (I'm not 4th Old for nothing), I just don't care about it. Maybe "don't care" is here a little too negative a word, I mean I do care but I also know right now it is not my job to worry about it too much because I have to concentrate in my own mess. I do believe some lifes are lived more "inward" and some more for the greater good. What better place also to do this than to born in Finland where everything is small (except forests and egos) and no one even knows where we are. I do also believe that everything is connected, so if I change a little thing in my life it can benefit the Big Picture in ways that I can't actually see or know. So I try to do those little changes. (This is me making excuses for not caring enough, I jus want my Nexus dammit).

 

When I think about Mature Soul Age world- all I can think about is drama. There will be even more reality TV and therapists. Maybe psychology will take steps ahead from the Stone Age it is in still.

 

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Nadine

I'm feeling a little bipolar at the moment. I'm super anxious all the time, but there are days where it's a overwhelming, desperate anxiety and then the next day I'm just extremely agitated, boisterous and excited, just like I felt before traveling, when I was a kid 😆

And to top this off, I'm scatter- and foggy-brained. It's like my body needs to urgently run a marathon to calm down and my brain just wants to sleep....

 

 

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Heidi

@Luka You took the words right out of my mouth. All I have energy to focus on is self and family. If I can make my little corner of the world better, that's enough for me. Maybe my views will broaden with age. Like you said, it ain't over till it's over. 🙂

 

BTW, I'm making a strong guess that our next Nexus window will be in July between the 12th and 27th. There's a partial solar and total lunar eclipse. Michael's mentioned that a Nexus is marked by an astrological/astronomical event. We'll see. I'm eager for July's Energy Report.

Edited by Heidi
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Nadine
13 minutes ago, Heidi said:

BTW, I'm making a strong guess that our next Nexus window will be in July between the 12th and 27th. There's a partial solar and total lunar eclipse. Michael's mentioned that a Nexus is marked by an astrological/astronomical event. We'll see. I'm eager for July's Energy Report.

 

I just wrote the exact same thing to @NickG! That's my guess, too...

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KurtisM

Aw @Luka, I only JUST recently opened up to the bigger picture.

I love to research so I do my best to share my theories and knowledge so that new things can be created from that.

I'm glad you enjoy my perspective.

I havent heard much from you so I don't know much about you other than being Trans- otherwise Id return the compliment.

 

@Nadine that's my experience 100%.

So exhausted, just wanting to go "home", crying, scattered, moody as all hell.

Our bodies are working way over time to process this nexus bubble. It makes me wonder how many have died from the overwhelm of no escape...

 

@Heidi, yes!

I agree with you- that's when I think the nexus bubble will pop too.

Im going camping for that whole long period. I really don't know how it will go other than that the weeks before and weeks after will be INSANELY busy with deep cleaning, brainstorming, prepping, organizing, gardening etc.

It's an anxious time.

I really want to move forward though. I'm so tired of keeping everything in.

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Heidi

@KurtisM Camping sounds great. Hope you are able to decompress!

 

I'll be going to look at house that recently came on the market during that period, so I'm really anxious. Plus, the lunar eclipse is on my birthday. AHHH!! I hope it's not a bad thing!

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KurtisM

@Heidi I have no clue if ill be able to decompress. I have to deal with the same family issues and expectations- along with tiptoeing around issues I find important but they do not.

I really dont feel like I can retreat and recover wherever I go.

But ill try my best.

 

Since Im in a GRIEF period- I wonder if ill still cry there a lot. It's difficult to talk about my depression/grief when it's related to a huge review of my whole past & all of the feelings about how I+others have treated each other, on top of a strong and heavy sense of responsibility for improving & healing global issues that everyone ignores or denies because they 'can't do anything'.

Like how do you communicate that to someone that asks "How are you?" or "What's wrong?"

I hate lying & being expected to lie just to get by in this world...

 

 

I trust you'll find a house.

If anything, if there's a divergence- you might split off into 2+ parallels that like and live in 2 different houses.

Less of a burden then!

 

If the Lunar Eclipse is on your B Day, that'll be a part of your Solar Return Chart this year!

So it'll probably be a very important event that will play out through until 2019. You should look up what it means?

Edited by KurtisM
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Luka

@KurtisM Yeah I'm not very active, and that's understatement. I've actually studied Michael from 2003-2004, don't remember exact year when I read Messages from Michael for the first time. I just lack the need to be a part of community (and then I feel guilty about that). I do read the forum, and I've examined whatever material I've found from other channels too. I've come to conclusion that Troy is the most accurate channel I've found, so I like to follow him. I remember the first TLE! No compliments needed 😎

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Maureen
13 hours ago, Luka said:

Well, I don't know if it is just coincidence, but the official paperwork to change my gender is in now. When I came home from magistrate on Monday I felt like someone had lifted a boulder made out of led from my back. I can't believe it is over. It takes some time to sink in.

 

Last night was the first time in long time I had some plain old fun in Astral. I seem to date there, which is really funny. See, I made a concious decision to opt out from all relationships about four years ago. I've been single for much longer time, but then I just decided I will stay that way, thank you very much. I have no second thoughts about it. I've never been good in romantic relationships (for a romantic person it is a killer), and frankly, I'm tired of the complications of them. So, I just said "I'm done". So, soon after that I began to date in Astral. I meet constantly men I have never met in real life, and the encounters are clearly dates. These encounters are never sexual in any way, but they are romantic. These dreams feel very real, and I remember then well when I wake up, and they always make me feel good. I really would like to know more about what is happening and why I do this but seems like some part of me does feel it ain't over 'till it's over. It has been quiet on that front for months even in Astral, but last night I had a thing with an Asian guy. I woke up pretty happy. Oh, and I met my favorite game developers too. Last night was a busy night and now I feel good.

 

Resentment and regret have been slowly lifting, and went back to normal levels (for me). I'm always regretting my life in back of my mind, and I'm always a bit sad. It is like I was born sad, it is always there. But  now I feel I'm back to normal state of mind and in control of my mind.

 

And now GIMME NEXUS! Who the fuck has decided we don't need one? I have decisions  to deliver and I feel all the time like I'm dragging them behind me.

 

 

@Luka, I often wonder how you are doing, not just physically but emotionally, so I thank you for your update. Lots of love to you. ♥♥♥

 

 

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Luka

@Maureen Hugs and love to  you! Physically I'm doing well now, I was quite ill after second surgery but now all is well. There's always the fact that I've never been this strong and had this much stamina before. I still marvel how much I can do physically, and I'm not even half that strong as an average male. I could be but I don't like to go to gym. Emotionally it's strange: I have never been this much in control of my mind. I'm emotionally much more stable than before. On the other hand, I have to deal with the fact that I've been mentally a wreck my whole life and been in denial about it, and I think it is like bipolar people after being manic and then they come down from it and look around and they have wrecked their whole life, like quit job and sold house and gambled all money and married a hooker. And then they stand there and are like wtf  how am I supposed to fix this? That's how I feel most of the time. Like who was it who  made all these idiotic decisions in my life, burned every possible bridge there is to burn, never thought about consequences or future? It was me but it was a faulty me. So now I have to figure out how to make this life what I want it to be, and I don't know if it is even possible.

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Maureen
18 minutes ago, Luka said:

@Maureen Hugs and love to  you! Physically I'm doing well now, I was quite ill after second surgery but now all is well. There's always the fact that I've never been this strong and had this much stamina before. I still marvel how much I can do physically, and I'm not even half that strong as an average male. I could be but I don't like to go to gym. Emotionally it's strange: I have never been this much in control of my mind. I'm emotionally much more stable than before. On the other hand, I have to deal with the fact that I've been mentally a wreck my whole life and been in denial about it, and I think it is like bipolar people after being manic and then they come down from it and look around and they have wrecked their whole life, like quit job and sold house and gambled all money and married a hooker. And then they stand there and are like wtf  how am I supposed to fix this? That's how I feel most of the time. Like who was it who  made all these idiotic decisions in my life, burned every possible bridge there is to burn, never thought about consequences or future? It was me but it was a faulty me. So now I have to figure out how to make this life what I want it to be, and I don't know if it is even possible.

 

Thank you @Luka!! I admire your strength, your determination, and the deep love and respect you have for yourself. Many days may challenge every little bit of you but you know (I know you know) that, even as the days flow by, life itself is "forgiving" as we allow ourselves to start each day anew, fresh as babies from the womb, if we wish to see it that way. Here's a message for you:  Every day is a Birth Day. How you choose to celebrate that, how you choose to celebrate you, is up to you. 🎉💞🎉

 

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Rosario

This is crazy finals week at uni!  Today we presented a social responsibilty fair. My group focused on celebrating our diversity. We are One ...and we contain multitudes! 🙂 

Here we are after 3 hours...needing some good food and rest!

 

WhatsApp Image 2018-06-28 at 3.25.10 PM.jpeg

 

 

 

 

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Juni
11 hours ago, Nadine said:

I'm feeling a little bipolar at the moment. I'm super anxious all the time, but there are days where it's a overwhelming, desperate anxiety and then the next day I'm just extremely agitated, boisterous and excited, just like I felt before traveling, when I was a kid 😆

And to top this off, I'm scatter- and foggy-brained. It's like my body needs to urgently run a marathon to calm down and my brain just wants to sleep....

 

 

Yes to all of this. Very tired of the anxiety and my stomach in a knot for no apparent reason. Very ready for things to 'pop.'

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SusanVirginia

“June 22nd - 29th -- ENERGY SHIFT --  REVELATIONS -- This shift appears to be a wide wave of realizations from among students and the population regarding what will come next. This is not ominous, but a potential anchoring of direction that allows for many to begin “working with it” rather than in a floating state of uncertainty. This is not good or bad, but a reveal and integration of truth that can be helpful for knowing what to do next, both in the personal life and the world”

 

oh yes, what a week it was...I am feeling so much clearer and so much less despondent...still not ready to act or move forward yet, need more of a strong footing beneath me.  Could not be more grateful to this group. The Michaels are my true friends. They are loving teachers who want my participation not my worship. They have always accepted my comings and goings with humor and they speak to me quite often.  I just love reading about Grand Cycles and how many ways there are to “be” and learn. Never heard that before I got here.  What fun!!!

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SusanVirginia

@Luka so raw so honest 🙏 I have felt the way you describe so much. So many regrets for the people I’ve been, the mistakes I’ve made- somehow everything I’ve done and read this week brought me around, at least for now, that I am my essence, I am not at the mercy of it.  Reset button pushed. Of course I am going through my 5th IM now, so quite the ride. I feel that it is close to being over.  However what that means is that what’s left is the 6th and 7th, so somewhat bittersweet.  Just gonna move forward in power and do what I can with whatever time is left. Hugs.

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Stickyflames

This has been an intense Energy shift.

I feel like everything is catching up to me this week.

The start of june felt like confidence and clarity released, the end of June feels like a crystalized emotional obstacle of everything that has ever stood in the way of my confidence , clarity and future. 

I feel angry actually. This doesn’t just feel like the extreme opposite of my JOY in JUNES beginning, but me trying to own the middle ground. Own the anger and powerlessness I often do feel in my life.Watching Hannah Gadsby’s netflix special is like the symbolic meeting point of how life feels right now.

Listening to her made me realize how internalized my self hate is in regards to my family or moving around in the world. How deep it goes. Remembering my Dad’s wife say something similar to what Hannah Gadsby’s mom said to her. “ We would rather you show up a murderer than gay, it would break your fathers heart”. I remember hearing about gays being pedofiles. I remember being afraid of children in my early twenties, because I was already a pretty fucking weird adult...what if others would see MY social strangeness as potentially pedofilic. That was not my story, but I took it on as mine. 

Stories Rooted in my being , like a rot. I am becoming more and more aware of how convinced I was of my own potential for horror’s based on other peoples absolute poison. How many years did I waste trying to see, find proof of the goodness behind all that poison? There was always goodness. Just so much quieter and harder to trust than the shit. I am angry that I was nurtured with fear and only told what i shouldn’t do or become. I am angry that I believed that. I am angry that I spent years with a smirk on my face, hiding behind tasteless humour that I would find appauling now.

I am angry that I was so numb to my own pain and others pain in this world that I thought it was funny to have my roommate’s grandfather’s nazi flag he stole from the war, on our wall when I was younger.  Even if my heart hurt everytime I saw it....” funny, cause you know....why are we all so serious? Maybe an N word here too...smirk....it’s all jokes...smirk...”

I am angry at myself when I look back at who I was ten years ago. How numb I was. How every single choice was self destructive and painful and numb. I am angry I  had not one voice inside me that was rooting for me. Life was a joke because I had no empathy for myself. 

What else could I have been then though? “ I” was barely there. If “ I” was there , it could not have gone that way. I had to dive into the shit, hurt until I had no choice but to remember myself. My sweet sweet supportive “ I”. 

I am angry at what this world is speeding towards.

I don’t think a lot of people who are not “ truly societaly different” would understand that for marginalized groups....arrogance...the fear of judgement... is not simply the fear of others perceptions about you....it is the fear that those perceptions of you might equal death. That is some terrifying shit to walk around with. 

It is terrifying watching Donald Trump stand for every voice that has ever said I was filth and undeserving of love and  existence. Every voice that ever let me get away with “ it’s just jokes” during the numbness, “ lighten up” in replace of LISTENING, EMPATHY, SOBBING!

 

I look at this world and I am truly fucking terrified right now. 

I also know I have reached my limits of seeing myself as anything but someone who  has built themselves into a beautiful, delicious, human being.

I am scared of forgiving myself for being in a deep sleep.

I am scared that a future means judgement and that in the world that is being created, judgement will mean something far worse than others just not liking me. I am scared for everyone else who is terrified.

 All of that being said, who I am now is very real.

Who I am becoming is so potent with adoration, support and listening. 

I am so ready to heal, own who I am and be part of creating a world where the voices in our babies heads are SO LOVING of everything they are and will be.

Be a loving voice in my own babies head! 

 

I LOVE YOU ROYCE, DAMNIT

 

I know our future will eventually be delicious. We can’t skip the anger stage, the sobbing stage, the listening stage, the honesty stage....but we will get there.

 

Anyway, that is my energy shift, how is yours?

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KurtisM

When I went through the Energy Shift I realized that one thing I could do, at the very least, is to use my keen ability to research & compile knowledge- on all of the values I have- and bring that onto a site that encourages people to be more conscious of their choices and of what we each do/can contribute to humanity.

 

So now I'm compiling all my research into documents to use for this eventual site.

Which includes a shit ton of imformation on Veganism, Minimalism, Low Impact Living, Critical Thinking skills, the future of our Economy & the Resource-based Economy.

 

It's sometimes quite difficult to write on.

I have to constantly ask myself how much of the site I want dedicated to sharing my ideas as insights vs sharing objective facts and summaries of others experiences.

I think I will strike a balance between the two.

Other issues right now include a regular and healthy questioning of how much information is theory vs knowledge- whether im expounding too much vs must simplify- and which ideas hit the intention I'm trying to convey.

 

 

After the Shift I have just been feeling so numb and angry about how fucked up everything is- and how cluttered my house, life, mind and heart are.

So today I subconsciously felt compelled to clean and declutter while everyone was away/working- starting with our food storages and laundry. It tired me out, but im proud of doing it now.

I am intending to Vacuum a bit tomorrow and start my Minimalist Journey in my closet- regardless of what others think.

I just feel ready to stop having so much stuff, stop buying so much harmful & temporary stuff, stop comparing myself to others standards.

I think I have hit the Pragmatist energy now. My main goal is to streamline and sort through all the bullshit to be efficient.

Edited by KurtisM
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Matt

I have noticed a surge in negative emotions during energy shift for sure, but im getting pretty good at not taking the feelings so personal. I seem less and less concerned about world affairs and trying to understand others and their problems. I know it will all work out in the end anyway. I have laser focus on my own path right now, and my own issues. That may sound selfish, but ive spent my whole life worrying more about others and leaving myself out. Ive always put others feelings ahead of my own, and that feels like its crumbling away. Its about time i care about understanding myself, and not other people.  

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Luciana Flora
6 minutes ago, Matt said:

I have noticed a surge in negative emotions during energy shift for sure, but im getting pretty good at not taking the feelings so personal. I seem less and less concerned about world affairs and trying to understand others and their problems. I know it will all work out in the end anyway. I have laser focus on my own path right now, and my own issues. That may sound selfish, but ive spent my whole life worrying more about others and leaving myself out. Ive always put others feelings ahead of my own, and that feels like its crumbling away. Its about time i care about understanding myself, and not other people.  

I find it interesting that I never associate my feelings with what happens in the world. I always find reasons in my life for my feelings.

Sometimes I wonder if I have these influences and I just do not see or if I'm even disconnected from the world, ..

  But if I feel anxious, or sad or whatever it is I always find the reasons looking at my life .. For me all my feelings are personal.

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Bobby

On June 8th, I attended my first ever protest at the Federal Detention Center about 2 miles from where I live against the way children and mothers seeking asylum are being treated by the Trump administration.  It was a smaller demonstration but I was still impressed that as many as they did came out in support.  I think there was probably around 500 or so, maybe as many as 1000 but not much more than that for sure.

 

Yesterday, I attended another protest at the same place.  It was obvious as I approached the event that many more people showed up this time.  People were parked everywhere. Trains were packed with people coming to the event.  There were people everywhere!  I asked one of the policemen assigned to the event what he thought the crowd size was.. I was thinking 1000.  He said they were expecting around 5000.  Today, the Seattle Times reports that around 10,000 attended this event.  The outpouring support of folks from all walks of life was so reassuring in these stressful times.

 

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/10000-strong-demonstrate-at-seatac-detention-facility-against-president-trumps-zero-tolerance-immigration-policy/

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DianeHB

@Bobby Thanks for being there! I thought about going but had to work that day. 

 

The last several days have been really rough for me for no apparent reason. Heavy, anxious, restless, depressed. It's all I can do to keep it together. 

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