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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: July 2018

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David Michael Peddigree

My heart goes out to anyone who struggles under the weight of loneliness, frustration, their own psychic pain. It goes out to anyone who feels so overwhelmed by, and powerless against, their own internal hell, that they allow themselves to operate under the illusion that they must lash out in order to be recognized and understood, as well as the illusion that they're powerless in the first place. I sympathize more than I could ever adequately express. I go through that same struggle every day. Some of us need to be understood, some of us need to be accepted, and all of us need to be loved. Some are more desperate for the fulfillment of those basic human needs than others. I'm not going to assume that everyone here has baggage, but I think it's safe to say that at least some of us do. Hell, I have so much baggage that Samsonite once offered me a sponsorship! However, when I'm among others, as I'm here with all of you now, I try to stow it away as best I can, lest I impose or project my crap unfairly onto people who are not, and can never be, responsible for the way I'm feeling. It's easy to surrender to bitterness and rage. It's easy to blame. I'm not saying that it's easy to harbor those feelings, just that it's easy to give in to them and let them have their way. Consideration and compassion, on the other hand---well, for some people, they can be harder to express than vitriol, especially for those who have either surrendered to, or are tempted by, the sucking void of hate-spawned apathy, who are so embroiled in their own internal dramas that they've ended up losing most or even all sense of connection to others. In such cases, consideration and compassion are harder to express because they require effort. However, I've found that the effort to control my own negative emotions, to refrain from projecting said negativity onto others, is well worth it. Such an effort can abort drama before it even has a chance to take root and escalate. It spares others from unwanted and unnecessary onslaughts, such as the one we recently witnessed in this thread---which, admittedly, has saddened me. Correction: I've allowed it to sadden me, and that's entirely my choice, a choice for which I'm solely responsible. Because I give a shit. And giving a shit can be hard. Psychic hugs to everyone. Peace.

Edited by David Michael Peddigree
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Matt [banned]

She went way off the rails, but when someone tells someone else they have it easier, its bound to happen. Nobody can possibly know who has it easier, and its not a competition. By telling someone they have it easier, your dismissing their real challenges, just like how you got triggered by them dismissing your challenges.   It really is a mirror where both sides are mad the other cant empathise. I dont know what the answer is, but i know its not how she handled the end of that.

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Luka

I think it is safe to assume that here no one is out to hurt you. In other places of internet I'm safer when I assume that someone is out to hurt me because some people have need to hurt others. On the other hand, thicker skin helps. I spend time in gaming forums, boy they can be a cesspool but I also watch my back there and don't give anything personal out. And I can snark like no ones business.

 

I had to confront my own issues with seeing everything through negative lense, as I was sure the whole world, actually the whole  universum was out to get me. I was constantly hurt and angry. It makes person a narcissist, and narcissists have victim mentality. Emotional pain makes one very selfish, as you can't see much outside of it. You CREATE the reality where everyone is out ot get you,  because you wait for it to happen, and you read hostility in every situation that doesn't pander your ego. I've been there, and it is a hell of a thing to get out. I'm super thankful I found Michael, as they have given me a structure how to see the world. But for emotional work I had to find other teachers, preferably those who had been where I was, and could give me tools and directions of how to get out of there. The shit part is that when you are in it, you don't really know you are in it. You just know you feel bad, always. I think person has to be very much in pain to begin to break out from it. I know I was.The pain has to be untolerable, so bad it forces you to find ways to get rid of it. The first step is to admit to yourself that you are in pain, and it doesn't go away with denial. I think this realisation lined up with the beginning of my fourth IM, and it was HARD. I think I'm in fifth IM now and it is a bit scary.

 

I have so much compassion for everyone who is in that pain, but at the same time I know very well that you can't heal others if they don't really want it. You can't make them see themselves. Part of the healing process was time where I had a need to make others see everything I had seen, and stop being so ILL. I learned my lesson. Don't go there, hoe. People have to find their way themselves. They don't want your advices, even if they ask for them.

 

This has nothing to do with energy report... I'm The King of Off-topic.

Edited by Luka
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Bobby

Is it just me or is it fairly often that when someone proclaims that they're "an empath" that they're basically giving themselves permission to say whatever whacky fucked up shit they deem appropriate but don't you dare reciprocate because they're too tender to hear that?

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WolfAmethyst

Weird Dream Last Night:

Suddenly and without warning, everything to do with television reception and internet connections stopped working at my home.  Telephone calls yielded no explanation.  For some reason, (in the dream) I remembered first learning via radio about both 9/11, and the great power outage which hit the Eastern Seaboard of North America ~15 years ago during the summer.

So I switched on the radio, and the most recent info from the news reports was that a massive cyberattack (Russians suspected) had successfully and completely disabled North America's internet access, and all the satellites etc critical for television reception.  Individual computers and television hardware were still working though (people could still watch things like DVDs, or use their workplace's in-house hardwire networks) but radio and telephone alternatives were quickly being set up to manage the massive infrastructure emergency.

The radio I was listening to was also an old one that I had in the early 2000s- a small pocked sized battery powered one.  I think I'm going to look for a replacement, just in case this dream really did represent a parallel we avoided, or something that might be a possibility during the next two weeks.

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KurtisM

I'm leaving for camping during this nexus period so see you later guys. ?

 

One thing I have noticed now is that my dreams are numerous, but I cant remember them anymore.

In waking life, I continue to cry inexplicably at "random" periods.

I have never cried this much in my whole life!

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Bobby
10 minutes ago, KurtisM said:

I'm leaving for camping during this nexus period so see you later guys. ?

 

 

Maybe?  Bwahahahaha  ?

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Bogi
On 7/5/2018 at 7:19 PM, Troy said:

July 12th - July 27th  -- NEXUS -- CONVERGENCE/DIVERGENCE

 

On 7/5/2018 at 7:19 PM, Troy said:

We can say that it will likely carry a sense of acceleration, escalation, and intensity.

Frankly, to me it started this intense acceleration around  June 20-21.

It has been a roller coaster ever since. Although, since yesterday I seem more centered and calm. I reached some kind of a tipping point.

But, the Nexus is still out there, so who knows..... ?

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Moonfeather
4 hours ago, Bobby said:

Is it just me or is it fairly often that when someone proclaims that they're "an empath" that they're basically giving themselves permission to say whatever whacky fucked up shit they deem appropriate but don't you dare reciprocate because they're too tender to hear that?

on behalf of all empaths, I hope not!

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Luciana Flora
5 hours ago, Matt said:

She went way off the rails, but when someone tells someone else they have it easier, its bound to happen. Nobody can possibly know who has it easier, and its not a competition. By telling someone they have it easier, your dismissing their real challenges, just like how you got triggered by them dismissing your challenges.   It really is a mirror where both sides are mad the other cant empathise. I dont know what the answer is, but i know its not how she handled the end of that.

I agree with what you said here. I was born into a middle class family so there is no denying that I have more opportunities than many people. But that does not mean I do not have challenges in life.

What I am going to talk about now is something I have observed in all my way so I am not speaking here specifically about community. It is as if for some people the fact that I have had more opportunities means that I have to be satisfied with everything all the time. Or that I have no real problems.

I remember once that I went to an church with some classmates from the school and since I was there I asked God for a friend. I did not use to pray but since I was already there. And after I asked, I practically apologized to God for my request. After all, many people were going hungry at the time and obviously my lack and friends were not a priority.

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Kasia
5 hours ago, Matt said:

She went way off the rails, but when someone tells someone else they have it easier, its bound to happen. Nobody can possibly know who has it easier, and its not a competition. By telling someone they have it easier, your dismissing their real challenges, just like how you got triggered by them dismissing your challenges.   It really is a mirror where both sides are mad the other cant empathise. I dont know what the answer is, but i know its not how she handled the end of that.

 

I totally get where you’re coming from @Matt, and I always appreciate your point of view because it tends to expand my own. I’ll venture a guess to your question: the answer is common ground. When someone says “you have it easier because you don’t identify with XYZ group who are currently being disproportionately mistreated and marginalised” it means just that. In that context, you do have it easier. That is the truth. It does not mean that you are not mistreated or marginalised or suffering in any other contexts, because people’s lives exist in too many spaces at once to make such broad generalisations, but it does mean that precisely because of those similar enough but not identical experiences, you can choose to build the bridge of common ground. Hurt is universal. I don’t have to be a part of any specific group to empathise with and believe they are suffering, and their suffering takes nothing away from my own. What it does do is give us space for common ground which leads to acceptance which leads to love which leads to people not being assholes to each other. 

 

I’ve noticed the triggering happens when someone says “this is the case in this context that is important to me” and the other person hears “this is how it is universally and your suffering doesn’t matter as much as this suffering that you don’t have”. People get really prickly when their suffering isn’t a priority for others. It’s the pain of being excluded. But the truth is, we live in space and time and with that come limits. We can focus on anything but not everything at once. Pains, hurts, and struggles are prioritised just like anything else, but it’s each of our personal choices whether we choose to exclude ourselves from what happens to be the focus right now, or instead say “I don’t personally know this pain, but I know pain, and I will help you because the shape, size, and colour of your pain doesn’t matter as much as helping it stop altogether”. That is what we need, because healing any pain heals all pain. 

 

I was reading an article about Spanish speaking citizens being stopped by Border Patrol and being asked for papers on no other grounds than speaking Spanish in Montana. I am a Polish speaking immigrant, but I’m white and not the target of our current administration’s ire. As a white immigrant of European origin, I absolutely have it easier right now. That is the truth. I am also a woman who has experienced sexual harassment and assault, and in that context I have it far worse than other groups. I have not experienced every iteration of discrimination there is, but I don’t need to in order to choose to use my very personal pain to unite, to empathise, to find common ground, and to stop focusing so much on who hurts where to just see the hurt that we all have. And then to help heal it, together. That is the choice so many are asking others to make, and the one that compounds the hurt so much when it isn’t made.

Edited by Kasia
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Christian
2 hours ago, Bobby said:

 

Maybe?  Bwahahahaha  ?

 

 

Smartass

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Christian

Do you think what is going on now could lead individual states to seek closer relations with Canada.

 

Leading to in '20-'25 a declaration of joint or singular rulership essentially joining Canada and the US as one country?

 

 

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Troy
8 hours ago, Luciana Flora said:

Wow. I did not even know there have been so many bans here. Actually this is the first one I saw.

1

 

Well, when I said it has been more in the past 6 months than the last 10 years, it's because we had maybe 1 or 2 in 10 years, but in the last 6 months or so we've had maybe 3. It's extremely rare.

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DianeHB
6 minutes ago, Christian said:

Do you think what is going on now could lead individual states to seek closer relations with Canada.

 

Leading to in '20-'25 a declaration of joint or singular rulership essentially joining Canada and the US as one country?

 

 

 

I'm not sure Canada would want us. 

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Uma

Beautifully and kindly said @Kasia. And exactly the way one would expect our loving community to respond to someone in pain. What we have been experiencing these days in the world is reflected here on TLE, as Michael said we can no longer separate ourselves from Life. I find it interesting that the way I finally chose to handle my sister and her support of fuckface was by throwing her the fuck out. And it seems that that is the way we have to deal with them--throw them the fuck out of power, out of control, out of our faces. It seems counterintuitive and opposite from what I would have thought. But after trying to co-exist with it, I realized I could not, so have taken the necessary steps. Same has happened here.

Michael also said in the Energy Report: So maybe it's not surprising to see it happening everywhere.

On 7/5/2018 at 1:19 PM, Troy said:

the work of bringing about Practical changes now comes into focus more than at any other point in the year for most of our students. It is a “now or never” shift that is on the horizon for most of our students regarding participation in a shift of collective patterns across Sentience. From the most intimate and private of changes to the most globally relevant of changes, nearly every student we know is considering how to put into action that which will alter patterns that have potential to become Dogmatic. Most of the population beyond our students are considering their perspectives in the same way.

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Stickyflames
4 hours ago, Bobby said:

Is it just me or is it fairly often that when someone proclaims that they're "an empath" that they're basically giving themselves permission to say whatever whacky fucked up shit they deem appropriate but don't you dare reciprocate because they're too tender to hear that?

From my experience, as soon as someone mentions they are an empath all I see is “ I will not be taking emotional accountability here, deary”. 

She didn’t. She might not even know how. She earned her banning.

I think Eric above expressed it all so well though.

I don’t know anyone who is not fucking exhausted by this nazi horrorshow. 

I don’t blame anyone for wanting to go make art if they are someone already overwhelmed, short circuited, struggling.

Some people do have shorter limits with what they can handle and Troy expressed it so elequently in stating that not caring usually means “ I care too much and it hurts”.

She was one woman expressing her exhaustion, not a symbol of the apathy that created all of this shit. 

There was triggering on both sides, she was shamed before listened to. 

Us passionate types can often be heard saying “ It’s not my job to teach people!” And that is true...but whose role is it then? If we care, we are the ONLY ones to set an example for that and to express how important that is. If we even slightly shame another before listening to them, we lose them every.single.time. 

If we care, it IS our “ job” to teach why that caring is so important.

She made her choice though , in this case proving to be someone who should not be on message forums, but all of this makes me reflect on how to communicate with others who are pushing in an opposite direction. What response opens doors? 

 

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Troy
6 hours ago, Matt said:

She went way off the rails, but when someone tells someone else they have it easier, its bound to happen. Nobody can possibly know who has it easier, and its not a competition. By telling someone they have it easier, your dismissing their real challenges, just like how you got triggered by them dismissing your challenges.   It really is a mirror where both sides are mad the other cant empathise. I dont know what the answer is, but i know its not how she handled the end of that.

 

I never said she had it easier. SHE said she had it easier. She said she had a bad day reading comments and decided to give up and not care and that she didn't care what happened to anyone and she would go do art and look at flowers.

 

I'm sorry, but if you have that as an option in your life, you DO have it easier. We aren't talking about having it easier regarding private horrors that anyone might endure. We are talking about political horrors that force us to fight every day for our lives. We are talking about the current climate that provokes violent assaults and murder against LGBTQI and Muslims and Mexicans and Immigrants and people of color. We are talking about losing our equality, protection, and rights.

 

No one was ever talking about individual horrors. We are talking about collective suffering that certain people DO NOT suffer.

 

In that regard, she clearly has it easier than I do, or my friends of color or my LGBTQI friends. They don't get to throw up their hands and say, "hmmmph, whatever, I don't care about anyone but myself and I'm going to go paint a landscape now." When you have a choice to turn a blind eye, you most certainly have it easier than those who will never have that option. 

 

The point was never about her having it easier... the point was about others NOT having it easy at all.

 

I hope it makes sense that "having it easier" in a hostile political climate is very different than having it easier on an individual basis. No one can compare having it easier on a personal level, but we can certainly be adult and mature and intelligent enough to see that the average straight white male has it easier in this world in so many ways that the average dark black man will never know. If anyone denies that, they are seriously disconnected from reality.

 

Anyway, I would have just chalked her original post up to someone expressing frustration and see it as completely innocent enough, but she escalated the issue with great hostility and then began to abuse the REPORT function to report Connor for his posts. That's when I really took notice and read the exchanges. When I read through the posts, I saw Connor explaining why others don't have the option to opt out and that apathy is far from a solution. It was perfectly sensible and not personal to her at all and was an effort to encourage compassion, but she really twisted and drown the conversation in projection. I started having an exchange with her both privately and in the forum and all I tried to get across was, "it's great that you can opt out, but the reason others might not be so supportive of that is that opting out has real-world effects that hurt those who don't have any choice to opt out."  If she had not been so hostile toward Connor, I wouldn't have tried so hard to explain, but with every effort to reach some level of compassion from her, she escalated it into more and more hostility and some seriously crude insults and creepy threats. 

 

Her behavior is a typical reaction from someone of such privilege that they can't see past what they demand and expect. Her abuse of the Report feature was the equivalent of those people who "demand to see the manager" when something slightly offends their privilege. I'm very sorry for her and wish she had taken a moment to breathe and step back and actually read what we were writing to her, but she chose to force us into being props in a narrative that came along with her. I mean, she kept saying things like "being lied to" and "being duped" and shit like that. Where the hell did that come from or even fit in? 

 

Sometimes people are buried in baggage and rather than allow anyone to help sort through it, they just want you to carry it.

 

Nope.

 

 

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Stickyflames
2 minutes ago, Troy said:

 

I never said she had it easier. SHE said she had it easier. She said she had a bad day reading comments and decided to give up and not care and that she didn't care what happened to anyone and she would go do art and look at flowers.

 

I'm sorry, but if you have that as an option in your life, you DO have it easier. We aren't talking about having it easier regarding private horrors that anyone might endure. We are talking about political horrors that force us to fight every day for our lives. We are talking about the current climate that provokes violent assaults and murder against LGBTQI and Muslims and people of color. We are talking about losing our equality, protection, and rights.

 

No one was ever talking about individual horrors. We are talking about collective suffering that certain people DO NOT suffer.

 

In that regard, she clearly has it easier than I do, or my friends of color or my LGBTQI friends. They don't get to throw up their hands and say, "hmmmph, whatever, I don't care about anyone but myself and I'm going to go paint a landscape now." When you have a choice to turn a blind eye, you most certainly have it easier than those who will never have that option. 

 

I hope it makes sense that "having it easier" in a hostile political climate is very different than having it easier on an individual basis. No one can compare having it easier on a personal level, but we can certainly be adult and mature and intelligent enough to see that the average straight white male has it easier in this world in so many ways that the average dark black man will never know. If anyone denies that, they are seriously disconnected from reality.

 

Anyway, I would have just chalked her original post up to someone expressing frustration and see it as completely innocent enough, but she escalated the issue with great hostility and then began to abuse the REPORT function to report Connor for his posts. That's when I really took notice and read the exchanges. When I read through the posts, I saw Connor explaining why others don't have the option to opt out and that apathy is far from a solution. It was perfectly sensible and not personal to her at all and was an effort to encourage compassion, but she really twisted and drown the conversation in projection. I started having an exchange with her both privately and in the forum and all I tried to get across was, "it's great that you can opt out, but the reason others might not be so supportive of that is that opting out has real-world effects that hurt those who don't have any choice to opt out."  If she had not been so hostile toward Connor, I wouldn't have tried so hard to explain, but with every effort to reach some level of compassion from her, she escalated it into more and more hostility and some seriously crude insults and creepy threats. 

 

Her behavior is a typical reaction from someone of such privilege that they can't see past what they demand and expect. Her abuse of the Report feature was the equivalent of those people who "demand to see the manager" when something slightly offends their privilege. I'm very sorry for her and wish she had taken a moment to breathe and step back and actually read what we were writing to her, but she chose to force us into being props in a narrative that came along with her. I mean, she kept saying things like "being lied to" and "being duped" and shit like that. Where the hell did that come from or even fit in? 

 

Sometimes people are buried in baggage and rather than allow anyone to help sort through it, they just want you to carry it.

 

Nope.

 

 

Yeah. She was an asshole. 

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Matt [banned]
18 hours ago, Troy said:

you probably do have it better than a lot of people.

THat is the quote i was referring to.  SHould have said better instead of easier.  You can believe that quote fine, but also understand how triggering a phrase like that can be to someone struggling in life. Again in your last comment, "you do have it easier".  Why is there such a need to make sure they know you have it tougher.  She was super out of line with her comments, so i really don't care if she's banned, but If someone were saying to me a comment, you do have it better, than i would really like you to be specific in what way, and not assume i just know.  I thought your comments to her were patient and respectful other than that one quote that i didn't like. @Eric post was right on with this topic.  He echoed  what many feel probably but few say.

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Troy
18 minutes ago, Stickyflames said:

She was one woman expressing her exhaustion, not a symbol of the apathy that created all of this shit. 

There was triggering on both sides, she was shamed before listened to.

 

 

I didn't see her shamed at all. Maybe I missed it. The first response to her post was Connor sharing his support for those she had so dismissively condemned disparagingly. That wasn't shaming her, it was just explaining those were people who give a shit. I think we have to be a bit more careful in what we deem as "shaming" what is actually just adult conversation.

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DianeHB

I simply don't think she had any mental space to accept anything other than complete agreement and commiseration. But anyone who hasn't read her previous posts might not be aware of that. When I read her comment yesterday morning before anyone else replied, I didn't see a point in asking her to care because I saw her as reacting out of pain and exhaustion. It is okay to get exhausted and want to take a break, and I don't think it's necessary to try to convince someone who's exhausted that she still needs to stay involved at all times. But her response was completely out of whack. 

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