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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: July 2018

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Michèle
2 minutes ago, SusanVirginia said:

@Michèle thank you, this is the sort of compassionate response I needed.  I am an empath. And I have had my share of trauma and abuse. I really appreciate your kindness.  I will probably think twice before sharing again.

I can feel you @SusanVirginia and understand you all too well. All I can say to you is be strong for yourself. Show yourself a lot of love and treat yourself to something nice instead of going online - maybe a walk, some yoga poses or a bath, or listen to your favourite album or read your favourite book, or smell your favourite flower or, you are a Sage I seem to remember: write a letter! Sing! This helps me to connect to essence, and maybe it's of some use for you too. ?

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SusanVirginia [banned]

@Michèle gonna immerse myself in my artwork. That has been my form of resistance for a year and a half. Don’t know what made me think I should jump back in the fray on FB. That was dumb.

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Troy

@SusanVirginia I hope you know my response came from compassion, too.  You have my compassion, but you might not like how it comes from me. That feeling of overwhelm you had for a day is a permanent part of life for many of us. Except our lives are actually on the line, not just our feelings. It’s really important to remember that everyone needs compassion, but... some really do need it more than others. Please remember that many of us are exhausted and depleted from the amount of compassion and fight we give every day for those in desperate need and whose lives are in very real danger. Please forgive others if their compassion is not as obvious for someone who is just having a bad day. It’s there, but we are exhausted. I’m always asking loved ones who have the same luxury of sanctuary and protection as you to please use it for gathering strength and power so you can come back and help others. Please don’t leave everyone behind. I’m expressing my compassion by asking that you join in compassion for others who suffer more than a bad day or bad feelings or frustration. Hang in there. We have to have each other’s backs. 

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SusanVirginia [banned]

Troy, I am confused. I am getting the feeling that you believe I am protected and that my life is not on the line. I am exhausted as well. Can you comment on this please?  I feel like you didn’t hear me.

Edited by SusanVirginia
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Troy
51 minutes ago, SusanVirginia said:

Troy, I am confused. I am getting the feeling that you believe I am protected and that my life is not on the line. I am exhausted as well. Can you comment on this please?  I feel like you didn’t hear me.

 

I did get that impression, yes. I can only go by your words.  When you wrote that you are throwing up your hands in frustration over a comments section on facebook and declare that you’ve decided you no longer care and will now focus on art and nature... well... yeah, I’m getting the impression your life is very different from mine or my friends who have no way to opt out. Frankly, no one is safe, but if you have the option to not care, to escape into art, and to opt out, you probably do have it better than a lot of people. That’s a GOOD THING! I only meant to say that it’s already really painful to endure the struggles imposed by this political climate, and to keep friends and loved ones afloat from the weight of oppression, so when someone expresses that they had a bad day after reading a comments section and are just going to give up and opt out, it’s fair to think that person is probably going to be just fine. That doesn’t mean you don’t need compassion! You do! But just try to understand why your post prompted a defense for those who haven’t given up. You are welcome to give up and opt out and not care, but just know that it does make life just a little bit harder for others not in your position. 

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WolfAmethyst

Some things have thankfully helped amidst the sense of chaos at my end:

 

On the north shore of Lake Superior, the Dates of Interest (both Nexus and Energy Shift) were ushered in by a series of violent thunderstorms.  I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony, given the significance of how things are unfolding otherwise in much more populated areas.

Tomorrow marks a first teleconference meeting re a new volunteer opportunity I'm venturing into, which involves attempting to use my crazy medical history for good.   

I've also  been testing out various new recipes of late.  For some reason, that sort of cooking has always been a calming, focusing, activity for me.  The latest success was working out a copycat recipe for the "Tomato Basil Bisque" that Safeway's deli used to sell in Canada (before discontinuing it without warning).  

Cross-stitch needlework is also something I also find calming amidst chaos.  As I recently learned I'm going to be an Aunt for the first time, designing a pattern for a piece of baby's room wall art has been a lot of fun- one  displaying the alphabet and various animals whose names start with each letter.  

There's also my trusty "Bejewelled 3" "Diamond Mine" game.  It's similar to the Tetris games I used to play on my Game Boy, but in colour.

Hope everybody else is managing to cope somehow, too.

With so many international events 

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Matt [banned]

Serious question, if so many get triggered by others saying they want to give up, is there another phrase we can use like, look i need a break, im not giving up, but just a break. Would that be better. Nobody is discounting your real fears and fights, but were all doing our best. Just asking. 

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SusanVirginia [banned]

@Troy you don’t know me at all, your suppositions are Infantile. Not used to group people confronting you? Don’t give a fuck .

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Christian

Soooooo. 

weird dream last night. 

the only thing I can remember about it is that I was sitting at a table with other.  The table was covered with map.   Markers were placed on troop positions.  Strategies were being discussed.  

I have the impression that I was there to take notes and absorb for analysis later. 

 

I woke up more tired than I went to bed. 

 

I suspect things are moving. 

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AnnaD

Hello....

 

It is kind of reassuring to read the vignettes of how this time is playing out, with TLE ers. I have missed you guys. I have been alternating between feeling empowered, and feeling like the ghetto drawstring is tightening around every person's neck whom the Trump govt hates. I am seeing so much bigotry, explicit bigotry, in corners that haven't had it before. It is like the tsunami of hatred has hit where I am and is crawling ashore and being welcomed in invisibly to safe shelters overnight while the rest of us are sleeping. It is terrifying. I have decided to become a vocal pisser off-er of people. I have tried with varying success and deflation, to be a supportive voice of resistance, a loud and visible one. I have said to Bigots that the New Zealand Baker (Kath's Devine Cakes who refused to bake a cake for a lesbian couple because they are lesbian and Kath doesn't agree with lesbian marriage) who has discriminated against lesbians is a NAZI. And whoever is enabling her saying it's not NAZISM it's just her opinion, she can refuse service to whoever she chooses, are NAZI ,SUPPORTERS. 

 

I have said that if these NAZIS come through the emergency department, and are NAZIS  ie active BIGOTRY witnessed by staff, that they can be refused treatment, because we can discriminate too. I said that Kath was promoting HATE SPEECH. I was told I was promoting hate speech. I said no, I HATE Kath for DISCRIMINATING AGAINST LESBIANS AND FOR USING HATE SPEECH AGAINST LESBIANS. I was using all of my UPPER CASE conviction and wasn't backing down. My facebook profile uses my full name and has professional title and my workplace. So MR BIGOT could contact my employer and whine away about MS HATE SPEECH NURSE SHE'S THE NAZI ETC, then he replies YOU MUST HAVE A CRAPPY BEDSIDE MANNER...  and I said I RESERVE MY SHITTY MANNER FOR BIGOTS SO YOU HAVE A CHOICE HOW YOU BEHAVE.... which for now has killed our conversation...

 

My workplace, all New Zealand Nurses, took strike action yesterday, for better pay and conditions. I have been active in endorsing this as our employer is basically a BAD FAITH BARGAINING WHORE. Taking strike action yesterday, which has been interrupted twice already with last minute shitty offers, was reassuring. We could guarantee provision of life preserving services for those dealing with life and limb threatening situations, provision of life preserving services is a condition of our being able to strike, so some of us work, in order for the rest of us to strike. This is nationwide in New Zealand's public hospitals so the potential to be very INCONVENIENT is great. Inconvenient as in elective surgery and diagnostic procedures are cancelled, delayed until industrial action is resolved. I feel like I am channelling my cadence mate Liz Ross, who is an active, determined, intelligent (maybe I am exaggerating here) and militant (no exaggeration) union activist. It is my first strike and I had prepared my placards days ago. Basically my employer is pitting Nursing requirements for Better Pay (no pay rise in 14 years) against Nursing requirements for Safe Staffing (we don't have fixed nurse to patient ratios here and it gets very very unsafe, care rationing is rife), so I am working on doing some improvements to our current system. To stand side by side by my colleagues in the strike yesterday was quite moving and powerful. It has restored to a degree some confidence in our resolve. Of course the critical point is how long financially can everyone strike for? For me I can for 2 months..... but then I don't have kids, only a mortgage, but savings being used on activism is something I will do. I am certain that our employer is in bed with our union. Time will tell. 

 

Besides these things I have actually felt like a heavy sad bag of uncried tears that needs to be cried, and some days I do cry. There feels as though there has been a road made to my empathy and compassion and mainly it feels like strength but most days it feels like impatience and frustration to the point of anger and tears, and I feel like there are very little in the way of whose sadness is whose. It is just there and I am finding myself in it and wondering how to help. I have a cold and my nose is running like a hydroelectric dam. Tears of truth is not lost on me lol good thing I can take a day off of work and it is saturday here tomorrow.

Edited by AnnaD
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SusanVirginia [banned]

Per usual I have been duped. There are some really fine people here, be yourself, the Ms would never say some of the shit Troy has- love to all 

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Troy
1 hour ago, SusanVirginia said:

@Troy you don’t know me at all, your suppositions are Infantile. Not used to group people confronting you? Don’t give a fuck .

 

Please reconsider your position of hostility and insult toward me and other members of this community.

 

Your private pain is something none of us know about and it is not even in question. I and Connor were responding to your words that you chose to represent you here. That’s all. It wasn’t an exploration of your entire private history. It was just a discussion based on what you wrote.  

 

It was completely unnecessary to escalate it into a theatrical drama that demanded all-or-nothing blind acceptance of your words. That’s not how we work here. We like to debate and talk and challenge limitations. We have discussions. We learn about each other. We work out our differences and help each other understand better.

 

Sometimes we post something just to express frustration and it triggers others. It happens. It’s not the end of the world. 

 

We have to consider that our words are not being screamed into a vacuum. You are talking to a group of real people with real feelings and real lives. Please take a step back and see if you can see how to make this work out better for all of us. 

 

This isn’t your Facebook wall. This is a community. It works differently and I hope you can reconsider your position. 

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SusanVirginia [banned]

Go fuck yourself

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Troy
1 minute ago, SusanVirginia said:

Per usual I have been duped. There are some really fine people here, be yourself, the Ms would never say some of the shit Troy has- love to all 

 

Official warning. Please stop. 

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SusanVirginia [banned]

Give me my refund or be sued mr almighty 

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Troy

Susan has now been banned. Sorry.

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AnnaD

The demand for issuing Time Out cards never ends does it? you gave her a few hands up and out and beyond. Not much in this world is all or nothing. It is a weird and humbling mix of the middle. I hope she comes back, but with ways to navigate the all or nothingness.... good lesson for me too.

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Troy

We have had to ban more people in the last 6 months than we have had to ban in the past 10 years. I'm guessing it is because more and more people are coming to TLE and that just means the ratio will go up, but it is so depressing when someone new comes to TLE and then launches an attack on me and the community. What makes it more depressing is that I can tell they are carrying a shit-ton of baggage and could really use the raw conversations that we have here. It breaks my heart when someone chooses to self-destruct, lash out, and sabotage relationships over just stepping back and reconsidering and listening. I know we can be a bit much for a newcomer, but it seems to only be too much for those who have no interest in communication or conversations, only on their pronouncements and insults being blindly accepted. There does seem to be the theme in that way. Anyway... carry on. And sorry for the drama.

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Bobby

Wow... just wow.   She should have actually read the Energy Report and realized that today was the beginning of the Nexus.  Maybe then, she could have warded off Evil Susan  ?

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Luka
1 hour ago, Bobby said:

Wow... just wow.   She should have actually read the Energy Report and realized that today was the beginning of the Nexus.  Maybe then, she could have warded off Evil Susan  ?

People struggle with being self-aware. Someone coming to a group that is "spiritual" (I don't like the word but it has to do for now) doesn't mean they have any more capability to step outside of themselves and look what is going on than your Average Joe. Speaking from experience here.

 

I was too once lectured buy Troy about how we are not speaking in a vacuum, and I didn't like it either (Arrogant King, you think I like when someone lectures me about anything? I'm the one who lectures here, goddammit). I have too much respect for this group to lash out, and I generally avoid doing it. But I have done it in other places because I was always tense as a string and anything could make me lose my mind. I know in what state of mind I used to be all the time, and it is a horrible way to live. I have compassion for people who can't come out of there, but I also think we are all fully responsible for our behaviour, and ban was totally deserved. You can't be a nuisance to other people, if you are, they have right to draw a line to your immature shit.

 

Now I think Troy could lecture me to  his hearts content I would just  be happy senpai noticed me ?

 

I'm anxious and bored. I have a tremendious need to change something, anything, in my surroundings.

Edited by Luka
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Kasia

WTF? Did that just happen?? ? I can’t even wrap my head around how quickly that escalated to a level of pure, unabashed hostility. (Can you tell I don’t often read internet comments?) Gee zus! 

 

@Troy you handled this beautifully and compassionately and I continue to be inspired by and learn so much from you. 

 

2 hours ago, Luka said:

(Arrogant King, you think I like when someone lectures me about anything? I'm the one who lectures here, goddammit).

 

And @Luka, you’re hilarious! (And noticed. And loved. ❤️)

 

For everyone who does the work to keep TLE the fucking amazing space it is, thank you. ??

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Luka

@Kasia Thank-you! Actually, thanks go to my Sage-Essence Twin. And too often I'm too hilarious for my own good. I'm one of those annoying people who are snorting and laughing in a serious situation just because it is so serious and someone is being pompous and omg it is too funny. And then I'm in a shit to my neck. Of course it is not my fault, it is that Sage. I knew it is that Sage before Troy confirmed it is that Sage.

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Luciana Flora

Wow. I did not even know there have been so many bans here. Actually this is the first one I saw.

Everything you have on internety is something relatively easy to find. I think that there are no more Brazilians here because few people were interested in the community. But the internet really makes it easy to find. And every kind of person finds. that's why I had doubts even if it was really Michael student. It's on the internet. Anyone can find it. It is not something that is magic. IoI

  But lately it is difficult to discusse anything on the internet. It is very easy for people to go from arguing to personal offenses. This kind of discussion does not help at all.

 

The internet seems to have become a place where many people feel they can speak whatever they want without evaluating the emotional impact their words can have on other people. I have only participated here. Because although things still happen the kind of frenquence is much less than in other places on the internet.

Edited by Luciana Flora
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