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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: September 2018

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Bogi

I can definitely see the mood swings part on September 5th-7th in retrospect.

I was crying those days every 5 minutes. Ups and downs. 

 

Generally, I can still feel the density of time, like I can see on the calender that it has only been 2 or 3 or 4 weeks, but it feels like more.

 

Currently, I have no idea where I am as for being in Dogma or Efficiency.

No.idea. Like I am in some indefinitive swump. It does not feel good or bad, it just is.

I have no idea where I am heading.

 

4 weeks ago, Viktor came back to the workplace, and I made that week a decision. It has been a roller coaster since. I have made him part of my "transformation". Or something.

I am just rolling with it because currently, I have no idea about anything.

 

On 9/10/2018 at 10:34 PM, Troy said:

Stay awake. Stay alive to your life.

 

I am so sleepy. 

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Eric

@Luka Yeah, pretty much. And it is especially tough having to unlearn self-oriented negativity and then relearn being kind to the self. It definitely feels like a Sisyphean task...habits are a bitch like that. But luckily, it's usually worth it in the long run. 

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Luciana Flora
1 hour ago, Eric said:

@Luka Yeah, pretty much. And it is especially tough having to unlearn self-oriented negativity and then relearn being kind to the self. It definitely feels like a Sisyphean task...habits are a bitch like that. But luckily, it's usually worth it in the long run. 

@EricThe same thing happens to me. It seems like habits are really powerful ..

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Wendy

@EricIt seems like the answer to most of my questions is to do something different and I feel like I rarely do.  I just don't remember, or I can't think of anything.  When I'm stressed I just go blank.

 

 I have a session tomorrow and I'm gonna ask about this dogma rut I'm in and I'm afraid I'll just be told again to do something differently LOL but I'm sure there will be some new spin on that too.

Edited by Wendy
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Eric

@Wendy Man do I know how that feels. Part of the frustration is wanting to do something new, something inspiring, but being at a complete loss of how or what. The stress makes it even more frustrating. I had a session years ago on a similar idea, and the preface to "do something different" was:

If nothing changes, if there is no stimulation, nothing to challenge or move you forward, then one can plateau. It is not that there is nothing one can do, or nothing of interest, or nothing inspiring, but just that you are looking for all of that within the same four walls, so to speak.

Logical, though not necessarily easy to see beyond four walls from within those walls. For me they also emphasized action as key, probably because I have an inertia issue. I'm a way better ruminater and than actor.

I can understand the nervousness. I really bristled a lot during my last session here, as I was in a rather defensive mindframe and didn't think the answers were all that helpful. Coming back to it later, however, I could see more bits of useful information than before (a big one being that attempting to outright eliminate the self-protective "walking in circles" only made the circles tighter and more exhausting). Not my finest session, but still with merit. So I say go for it with the question. You could even bring up the nervousness about getting the same message again, as it both acknowledges what you've received and may help them add a new spin on things. You may still get "just do it" Nike Michael, but usually even then there may be a helpful tidbit in there.

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DianeHB
5 hours ago, Wendy said:

@EricIt seems like the answer to most of my questions is to do something different and I feel like I rarely do.  I just don't remember, or I can't think of anything.  When I'm stressed I just go blank.

 

 I have a session tomorrow and I'm gonna ask about this dogma rut I'm in and I'm afraid I'll just be told again to do something differently LOL but I'm sure there will be some new spin on that too.

 

There are ways to ask a similar question without getting the same answer. If you tried Michael’s suggestion and got stuck, ask about the point where you got stuck. Get really specific. If you don’t even know where to start, tell them you don’t know where to start. But give them a list of how you spend your time, things you’ve tried, your reactions to what you’ve tried, and ask for feedback and for blind spots. Even if you’ve only made a tiny bit of progress and stalled, ask about what made you stall this time.

 

Also, if you get stressed and don’t have the mental energy to try anything new, ask about that. “Michael, I’ve tried to do new things but found that I’m too stressed out to be open to new things.” And then ask about the things that cause you stress. Ask about the fears. 

Edited by DianeHB
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Luka

Gee, I just changed my sex (and it is an ongoing process still, though legalities are all taken care of but hello, my body will change for years), how much do I have to "do something different?" There has to be a limit how much can be asked from one person and I'm fucking serious when I say this. I do believe that everything begins from mind, so if you manage to do changes in your mind, it will be reflected in the reality around you. That is really all I can do as there isn't much I can change. I'd love to move but I can't fart money out of thin air so I just have to do with what I have, and if I've learned something in this life it is how to stretch euros so thin you can see through them and still have everything you need and sometimes even some extra.

 

So I read and study and try to find answers from my past and just try to be open to new information. And now I begin to doubt if it is just repeating a pattern that seems to work but actually doesn't.

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Christina Lily Pedersen
On 9/11/2018 at 2:12 AM, Dawn said:

@Christina Lily Pedersen, I found this from the September 2011 Energy Report:

 

For those who wish to resolve the Dogmatic, Denigrating, and Suspicious state to which one’s perspectives, philosophies, and truths have come to be played out within or without over July and August, it would mean overhauling one or more of the Personal/Tribal truths to which one has come to cling, that no longer serves anyone in a way that is to one’s liking.

To overhaul a Personal Truth that is no longer serving you, it would mean assessing what that truth is (which is usually quite obvious by this time in the year) keeping it in your awareness, and making choices that are NOT supportive, defensive, or imposing of that truth. In other words, do the opposite of what you would normally do; choose to hear the opposite of what you would normally hear; respond in ways that support a different truth, instead of reacting to the one that no longer serves.

When Pragmatism falls into the Negative Pole, it is always resolved by “doing, thinking, feeling something different.” To continue in the same way that no longer serves you and/or others, over and over again, is part of Dogma.

 

 

THANK YOU, @Dawn, this was brilliant.

 

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Mari Lynn

This Energy report hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I too, have been locked in dogma, and this quote really nailed it:

 

"MEntity: For those who may have fallen further into Dogma over July, you may find that the emphasis remains on the lie that you do not matter. If you continue to struggle with the voices that tell you that you do not matter, then you may have fallen into Dogma and are discovering just how repetitive and ingrained and loud the voices are that are not your own."

 

No doubt!! Yes, it triggered alot and I too, was "down for the count" during the 6th-8th, during a rather difficult New Moon. Wanting to stay asleep. But, I can't. I WON'T. I DO WANT TO REMAIN AWAKE!!

 

I have been struggling with a decision to quit a job that is, despite provision of NEEDED income, has been injuring my body and the managerial environment become so negative that after reading that report (and yes, releasing tears of TRUTH) I knew that I had to trust the Bigger Picture, get my head out my ass and do SOMETHING about this job! So...yeah, I turned in my 2 week notice. I own my attitude of fear, negativity, self dep and all that other shit, ie. MY DOGMA against myself. It's sort of terrifying and admittedly a bit exciting to really take an action on my Essence beckoning, when all I've been listening to are the old voices saying "I don't matter". Yesterday @ work, I literally had to keep telling myself that, esp as I was having a severe nerve pain attack while on the job. My body was trashed by the time I came home, but in this experience, it solidified the fact that I've done the right thing in turning in my notice. Given my health challenges this summer, instead of an organization that touts "help to/for the disabled" (ie. Goodwill) being treated like a "problem child" by management is merely a reflection back at me to look at the messages I tell myself. That said, this job is injurious to my physical body, no matter how much I adapt/regulate/pace myself. After all, I had to teach these same principles to patients when I worked as an OT. It's been quite humbling to do a job that I initially viewed as "beneath me", but I needed to quickly turn that around and see myself as not just now *the injured patient* but to activate my own healing skill sets, and that has been incredibly hard. I have to continually be my own therapist, my own job coach, my own cheerleader. I can do it so readily for others, but it's so hard to do it for myself. 

 

In reading this NRG report, it gave me the courage to confront some of my own inner demons, challenge my beliefs, take action on my Truth, and well....not freak out after the dust settles!!!! I actually want to resume my use of my hands again in doing what I love to do, and that is doing Myofascial Release work, either @ my home, or someplace else. Its such a great modality and most of all, requires my Presence, and all the things that make this 'ol Warrior shine.  I even have a great massage table that  hasn't been used in months!!  

 

In addition, there is also a job opening I saw at one of my fave veg restaurants here in my neighborhood, part-time employment at a place that has a more gentile, healthy atmosphere. I was shocked when I saw the notice of that job opening, like-hmmm....the Universe is talking loud, lol!!! I have almost never seen an opening posted for this place. Alot of the employees are very long time workers. 

 

 Either way, I am most grateful for this report, as it resonates so deeply. I will continue to re-read it if/when fears set in and I falter.  And, it activated the creative forces within to remind me that one of greed's ugly voice is fear of lack/scarcity/poverty consciousness....and to listen instead to the positive pole of the Spiritualist, being open to the possibilities that it's *safe* to let go and listen to that latter, more positive, Truth-filled message of the Spiritualist attitude. 

 

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