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Existential questions under the influence of impatience


Nicko

Question

Its a bit of a complicated topic in my mind, but I'm gonna do my best to explain my question as simply as possible.

As some may know I have a pretty well developed chief feature of impatience in my tertiary slot. I am not sure if it is solely to blame(probably not), but I pretty much see and experience the world through glasses with a tint of greyness, dread and a few spoons of hopelessness.

At the same time my three true studies of metaphysics, psychology and philosophy turns me into a very deep thinker.
And deep thinking is something I have a hard time turning my mind away from.
For a long time, part of what I've been thinking about are the various concepts of time.
Moments that pass, that I'll never get to re-experience. Opportunity's for moments that I didnt take advantage that has passed.
Or the concept of being eternal, an forever-existing fragment/soul/tao.

Now I don't know if my mind gravitates towards these time-oriented topics because that's simply what I am interested in.
Or if it is because of my impatience, my deep-seated fear of time.

What I do know is that because of these 'impatience glasses' that I am wearing, nomatter what answer I come up with to my questions, my reaction to them is always the same. Anxiety attack, dread and terror.
Im pretty sure this is simply because even the most 'beautiful' answer I dig up, gets corrupted by the impatience.
F.ex, the simple notion of being eternal to me, honestly feels and seems like biblical hell, forever existing in a state of torment. It is a notion that brings me feelings of dread, terror and hopelessness.
(I realize this notion is likely false, but I have never really been happy in this life, except for perhaps early childhood. Regardless, it's been too long since I actually felt grateful to be in existence, rather then cursed, which likely is the reason my perspective on everything has become so corrupted)

Initially my idèa of getting myself out of this mess was to seek for the deeper truths, that I would eventually find a truth so deep and profound that it simply could not be corrupted, and in turn 'cleanse' my perspective from said corruption.
Sounds incredibly naìve now that I put words to it. I don't know if it is or not.

But after years and years of continously headbutting new concepts of existence, I honestly don't feel like I've made much progress at all. Other then a glimmer of hope accompanied by a doubtful voice saying "Atleast there can't be that many more terrifying concepts left for me to discover, right?"


So, this is where I currently am regarding all of this.
I have made an agreement with myself that I will practice wim hof's breathing exercise (cold therapy etc down the road as I build these routines into my life) aswell as meditating once a day (for starters), in an effort to lessen my chief features grip on me, impatience most of all.

My question is however, should I allow my mind to play with these anxiety attack, dread and terror triggering topics. Or should I try to steer my mind away from them until I've made some progress with the lessening my chief features grip on me?
I've been trying to figure out whether I'd be steering away from these topics out of fear and reactivity. But I don't know whether Im curious about them out of fear and reactivity rather then love and curiosity to begin with.

PS: I feel a bit guilty that it seems most topics I create on this site that is enjoyed by so many of you are so depressing and 'help meeee' oriented. I sincerely wish I could be a contributor of positivity. But maaan.. I am struggling, and this is the only place I know to have a chance about getting some helpful answers, so it is what it is. Im not apologizing, but I am sorry it is the way it is.
Hopefully one day in the not so distant future I'll be in a position to enjoy the warm sunshine of love with the rest of you from time to time while being able to provide good insights to other people who mistook the cesspool of chief feature provided 'safety' for happiness ?

Anyway, that's all I got, hope I managed to make some sense aaaand.. cheerio ?

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Luciana Flora
36 minutes ago, Nicko said:

PS: I feel a bit guilty that it seems most topics I create on this site that is enjoyed by so many of you are so depressing and 'help meeee' oriented. I sincerely wish I could be a contributor of positivity. But maaan.. I am struggling, and this is the only place I know to have a chance about getting some helpful answers, so it is what it is. Im not apologizing, but I am sorry it is the way it is.
Hopefully one day in the not so distant future I'll be in a position to enjoy the warm sunshine of love with the rest of you from time to time while being able to provide good insights to other people who mistook the cesspool of chief feature provided 'safety' for happines

@Nicko

I highlighted this quote because I identify myself a lot with it. I would also very much like my posts to be more positive.


What you said in this passage is exactly what I feel many times.


However it seems to me that the people here do not fuck with what I write. And if someone does not complain, they do not complain.

In other groups I've been accused of talking about problems. However this never happened here ..

 

 

Often, I would like to be able to say things that would be more helpful. Most of the time the onlu i can sau is ... I identify with this too ...

 

 

Well, I also have impatience as a tertiary. But I do not know exactly how it works. I see impatience in me in my desire to evolve faster ..

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  • WARRIOR

Your Goal in this life is "to" Flow which it doesn't sound like you're doing when these sorts of things happen to you so what Goal do you think you might slide to when this takes place?  To me, it almost sounds like Discrimination because there is a sort of rejection mindset that takes hold.

 

 

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We have lots of similar things in our profiles and I really resonate with what you're saying here.  My Michael time is mostly looking for "help me help me" too.

 

I have a couple ideas for you if you're open to it and please reject as you see fit ?

 

Have you read any Seth books?  I've found the discussions of time by Seth to be very expansive in an experiential way and helpsrelieve my sense of dread.  The teachings are basically the same as M's on time but for me, when I read I have amazing experiences where I feel it in new ways.  Not saying I don't have that with Michael too, but it's different.

 

Also it occurs to me that a moving meditation may be more beneficial than a seated one, especially with your impatience.  I know for me, whenever I express anything similar to your woes here, Michael tells me to move more.  I did sitting meditation for many years but don't anymore.  I find that movement allows me to "drop in"  much more easily and quickly. 

 

And one thing you can be grateful for is that you don't live in the US!!!

 

And I'd just like to end with "but what the hell do I know?".

 

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4 minutes ago, Bobby said:

Your Goal in this life is "to" Flow which it doesn't sound like you're doing when these sorts of things happen to you so what Goal do you think you might slide to when this takes place?  To me, it almost sounds like Discrimination because there is a sort of rejection mindset that takes hold.

 

 


Hm thats a great point. Whenever I have a realization(or think I do) and an anxiety attack gets triggered it definitely could seem as if I instantly slide into dicrimination, because I get hyper critical about every thought I have at that point. (Pretty sure this is how I handle the anxiety attacks, to stop them before they really launch me off into a fullblown panic.)

It's kinda hard for me to tell personally, but I'll try to provide an illustration of how one of these things can go down.

Last saturday night I was watching TV with @SunSand, in this show the main character had been teleported back in time, back into his old childhood body and was eating his moms homemade meal. He said something like "i'll never take these moments for granted again".
This got me to think about what he said, and how I had taken my own childhood moments like those for granted.
I then realized that the moments that go by us every day of our lives, including those childhood ones will never come back.
I then felt a lot of grief, which I think is what triggered that rush of anxiety in me.
Trying to keep my anxiety attack at bay I kept thinking, trying to find a way, a truth in it all that would lessen the distress I felt over it, or perhaps just the grief.
This eventually led me to realize the importance and value of every moment that goes by me. Suddenly I didnt feel like watching tv anymore, like at all, ever. Because it felt like a sad waste of time, time I could spend enjoying the moments of life with my wife f.ex instead.

Part of the problem here is that while Im in this hyper state of fear, everything I put my attention to is viewed with tunnel vision. Hard to keep your perspective on the grand scheme of things when you have the equivelant amount of adrenaline rushing through your body as if you were being chased by a bear, especially when sitting still and that energy doesn't get spent (I cant be asked to run a mile everytime I have one of these experience, I'd put forrest gump to shame within a week, lol,)

Because obviously, one type of moments that I should be able to make and enjoy with my wife, is exactly that of watching a good tv show with her a late saturday night.

What I got out of all of that after a night of sleep and thinking about it post-anxietyattack is that I should take the opportunities I get to spend time with those close to me whenever I want and have the opportunity to. Rather then not.. sounds pretty obvious, but I didnt place as much value on it before.(not to say I didnt put any value on it, just less)

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I think it's great that you at least acknowledge that it is a fear and with any fear, you also have to analyze the situation and decide if it's something that you must act on for your safety's sake or not.  Just from what I'm reading, I'd say not.  So the thing would be to comfort yourself into that truth.

 

And here's another thing... there is some truth in your realizations that moments only last very briefly but that is not the whole truth.  While in a physical body, at least for now, we can't manipulate time.  In other words, we can't go backwards and forwards at will.  But that is not the whole truth.  When you are free of a physical body, you can do just that.  You can go back and relive a scenario and do things differently if you think it warrants it so in that sense, nothing or no opportunity is truly ever lost so the fear of that can be replaced with that knowing.

 

And I think it is a great practice to truly appreciate any particular moment in time and savor them for how special they are.  But, it won't be the last time you get to do so ?

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14 minutes ago, Wendy said:

Have you read any Seth books?  I've found the discussions of time by Seth to be very expansive in an experiential way and helpsrelieve my sense of dread.  The teachings are basically the same as M's on time but for me, when I read I have amazing experiences where I feel it in new ways.  Not saying I don't have that with Michael too, but it's different.

 

Also it occurs to me that a moving meditation may be more beneficial than a seated one, especially with your impatience.  I know for me, whenever I express anything similar to your woes here, Michael tells me to move more.  I did sitting meditation for many years but don't anymore.  I find that movement allows me to "drop in"  much more easily and quickly. 

 

And one thing you can be grateful for is that you don't live in the US!!!

 

And I'd just like to end with "but what the hell do I know?".

 


Havent read any of the Seth books. Gotta admit tho, the idèa of it puts me in cautious mode ? Its complicated, but just getting through most of the michael teachings material was a nightmarish experience of anxiety to get through alone. So, I might look that up at one point, but one when I feel ready for it ?

What sort of meditation do you practice? Like tai-chi or something?

hehe I am actually kinda grateful that I don't live in US. Might've been too much for me to handle, honestly =P

"But what the hell do I know?" when it comes to providing breakthrough insights, even the most mundane, obvious seeming details might suddenly prove to be the last piece of a puzzle to a big insight. So indeed, what ever the hell you know might just hold the answers to major questions for someone else ^^, 

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2 minutes ago, Bobby said:

With any fear, you also have to analyze the situation and decide if it's something that you must act on for your safety's sake or not. 


This reminds me of something michael said once. That chief features was put in place to expand our range of choice. The example they used (that I still dont understand how connects to chief features tbh) was that of a man who's walking in the woods and spots a bear down the path he is on. So with the use of the fear provided by his chief features he decided to take a different path to avoid the bear and carry on with his happy trails.

I scoffed at this example as I couldn't think of anyone except for fairly experienced hunters, which probably is 0.5% of our current population who would react this way. And the remaining 99.5% would run themselves into a heartattack, die, and yet keep running while dead.

THEN.. I came across a video of this wim hof fella I mentioned above. And from what I've seen probably an enlightened person. Because he describes his interactions with his fears like this "they are only advisory voices in your mind". Which truly is all they are to him. He's been close to death on several occuations and he's labled those episodes in his life under the "most exciting experiences" category in his mind.. and I know michael would never do this, but I could easily hear them go 'haaa-haaa' like that character from the simpsons in a 'told you so' kinda way. ^^,

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Becca the Student

Nicko, never apologize for what you feel. You are where you are in your journey — there’s no “right” way to live a life. ? However, it sounds like you simply are struggling with anxiety, which is a separate thing than fighting with chief features. I’m well familiar with anxiety struggles. I’ve had a few sessions with Michael about my own anxiety, and the best piece of advice they’ve given me so far is that anxiety is when you get caught in a loop: you think, then you feel, then you think, then you feel, and the body kicks in without your permission, all “THIS IS SCARY RIGHT, DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH IT FOR YOU OR ARE WE JUST GOING TO RUN?”

 

And usually you don’t want to punch it OR run, but your Emotional Body and Intellectual Body and Movement Body just aren’t moving in tandem.

 

It looks like what’s happening with you is that you turn to your Intellectual Body in order to try to appease your fear and mistrust and feeling of lack of safety, and you fuel the loop.  That fear of time is a fear of being unsafe, deep down — and your feelings of safety come from the root chakra, and the Physical plane. When you leave the Physical plane, that fear won’t be nearly as pronounced. Which means you want to try to activate the Body most immediate to the Physical Plane in order to heal and alleviate that chakra: the Movement body. ?

 

Try Body Tapping, or dance meditation — listening to music with a deep beat that gets to your groove. Remind yourself you are here, now, and that those two words are the only time words that matter in this Life. Trick your brain: say “this is exciting” when something sets off your anxiety instead of “this is frightening.” And when you’ve found a movement-based solution that helps alleviate the energy getting trapped in you, start to try to pinpoint the source of your feelings of unsafety and mistrust, and see if you can work from there.

 

Optimism and positivity are sourced from Trust — trust in our Essence, our guides, Tao, Love, Beauty, and most especially trust in ourselves. If you’re having difficulty finding the positivity of your life and feel dragged down, then it may be that the anxiety has made it difficult for you to remember what Trust feels like. You may find it easier to be positive if you think of it as trusting yourself to navigate your life, trusting you’re surrounded by people who want peaceful, fulfilling lives, rather than simply “thinking positively”.

 

The biggest magic trick anxiety pulls is telling us “but you need this fear”. The hardest thing when healing it is reminding yourself you don’t. It’s simply information you can use or discard as you wish. Don’t worry: you have simply fallen into patterns. You can teach yourself new ones. ❤️

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1 hour ago, Becca the Student said:

Nicko, never apologize for what you feel. You are where you are in your journey — there’s no “right” way to live a life. ? However, it sounds like you simply are struggling with anxiety, which is a separate thing than fighting with chief features.
 

It looks like what’s happening with you is that you turn to your Intellectual Body in order to try to appease your fear and mistrust and feeling of lack of safety, and you fuel the loop.  That fear of time is a fear of being unsafe, deep down — and your feelings of safety come from the root chakra, and the Physical plane. When you leave the Physical plane, that fear won’t be nearly as pronounced. Which means you want to try to activate the Body most immediate to the Physical Plane in order to heal and alleviate that chakra: the Movement body. ?

 

Try Body Tapping, or dance meditation — listening to music with a deep beat that gets to your groove. Remind yourself you are here, now, and that those two words are the only time words that matter in this Life. Trick your brain: say “this is exciting” when something sets off your anxiety instead of “this is frightening.” And when you’ve found a movement-based solution that helps alleviate the energy getting trapped in you, start to try to pinpoint the source of your feelings of unsafety and mistrust, and see if you can work from there.

 

Optimism and positivity are sourced from Trust — trust in our Essence, our guides, Tao, Love, Beauty, and most especially trust in ourselves. If you’re having difficulty finding the positivity of your life and feel dragged down, then it may be that the anxiety has made it difficult for you to remember what Trust feels like. You may find it easier to be positive if you think of it as trusting yourself to navigate your life, trusting you’re surrounded by people who want peaceful, fulfilling lives, rather than simply “thinking positively”.

 

The biggest magic trick anxiety pulls is telling us “but you need this fear”. The hardest thing when healing it is reminding yourself you don’t. Don’t worry: you have simply fallen into patterns. You can teach yourself new ones. ❤️



I never apologized, I only said that I am sorry I am in this situation right now. Which is the truth, currently. (Im sure if I overcome this thing I'll view this whole nightmare as a blessing that taught me lots, because Ive had that experience with hellish things before).
What makes it sound like its just anxiety tho? From what I've read previously anxiety-attacks are a result of the chief feature of impatience. I've noticed that after successful meditation I couldn't even bring myself to have an anxiety attack even if I tried (I know people typically can't get an anxiety attack if they try, but I've apparently taken stupid use of my artisan's creative energy and found a way around this, lmao). Only when Im riled up am I able to 'spiral out' with an anxiety attack triggered by some thoughts (and I am 'riled up' most of the day, even now I can feel a sense of urgency in myself).

I actually got a question regarding the effects of meditation in general against things like this.
How does it actually work? If anyone knows. I ask because like I mentioned only in a relatively short time after meditating, while Im still in a some kind of meditative state do I feel the absence of anxiety and have the ability to perceive some beauty.
Does this mean I have to be in a somewhat meditative state at all times, or does it sort of remove my anxious/chief featurish patterns of thinking from my default state of mind over time?
I ask because as much as I hate anxiety attacks, I do kind of enjoy fast paced things(when I do fast paced things correctly, I find myself in a good state of flow, perhaps even the positive of my goal of flow). Maybe thats why impatience got such a good grip on me. But I've always been a fan of speed(not the movie, the concept.. although, keanu reeves is awesome ? )
So I might actually have some resistance towards meditation because of this concern now that I think about it. Hope anyone can give me an answer to that question ?

Honestly I don't have very much trust. I have some, but not a lot. I trust my sense of whats true and what isn't. And if that sense is wrong, then I trust that I'll learn from it and make it more right the next time. So I guess I trust my evolution to some extent.
However, I have very little trust in the concepts spirituality. I believe in the tao, essence, reincarnation and the whole rest of the michael teachings. But with the amount of suffering I've endured so far this life I find it pretty much impossible to trust any of those aspects of existence, because my existence so far hasn't been enjoyable for most parts. What little trust I do have in that is just a glimmer coming from the concept of 'benefit of the doubt'. I think if I had more trust in things, it wouldn't be half as bad, so indeed very important.
The punchline for my lack of trust in the spiritual, universal entity we are part of is that how can I trust in something which has caused me so much suffering that existence itself seems a curse to me? Which I know is true for so many other people out there aswell.
And being we are eternal, and have been eternally. Then this is as good as it gets. There can't be a 'better' we are progressing towards when we are infinite, it just is what it is, which means I'll have to live through experiences like this infinitely. This is close to the biblical definition of hell. Only difference is that we get breakes from that hell from time to time. And with that goes my trust in essence aswell since that dumbass keeps signing me up for this shit. That is the scariest question and concept I know of. I can feel my heart beat with despair just thinking of it to type it down for you.
I get that my essence views this differently, and that I will view it differently when I die and merge back into it, perhaps, and hopefully even sooner. But I don't see how that changes this truth of mine.

Life was a lot more comfortable when I didnt believe in reincarnation and the whole spiritual system. I was suffering then aswell, but atleast then I thought my suffering had a definite end to it with the death of my body.
Which left me with an attitude of "well, so life sucks, lets just make the best of it while it lasts, because it won't last forever".

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Becca the Student

Seeing the world through a tint of "greyness, dread, and hopelessness" is actually quite a common experience of those with chronic anxiety and depression. Anxiety isn't solely the experience of having anxiety attacks; it can also feel like a continuous background noise in your head, casting a cloud over your life. I read your post and it immediately reminded me deeply of myself back when I had more chronic anxiety, and especially of my friends and family who have been diagnosed/treated for anxiety and depression, so that's why I assumed it's anxiety that's causing this for you.

 

I can't tell, but it sounds like I offended you unintentionally? The reason I said "don't apologize" was because your phrasing made it seem like you felt somewhat ashamed or apologetic of what you were feeling (feeling "guilty" that you weren't posting something more positive, or referring to your chief features as "corruption", for example.) I meant to provide reassurance and acceptance, not judgment. If my own phrasing was bothersome, I sincerely apologize.

 

When I refer to Trust, I'm not talking about blind faith. I'm not saying "have faith that Tao will step in and solve your problems for you", because Tao isn't the direct source of or the direct cure for our problems. As Michael often reminds us, our choices (both individual and collective) are often both the source and the cure for our suffering. I'm saying if you believe in the existence of Tao, and if you believe in the teachings, then it stands to reason you believe in the core of both Tao and these teachings: that everything is created out of Love, Truth, and Beauty; that those energetic states are where we come from and are the states we continually evolve toward and eventually return to; that separation is an enforced state of mind that must erode away with evolution, because Love is quite literally gravity, and its impossible to forever escape its grasp.

 

It sounds like you equate "infinite" with "unchanging". Am I correct?

 

If you trust your own evolution, I think that's fantastic. I'd like to offer a gentle invitation to extend that trust if you want to: that if you evolve, then certainly everyone around you evolves (perhaps at difference paces), and that therefore the concept of things getting "better" is not simply a spiritual belief, but a scientific inevitability.

 

The saying goes "change is the only constant," after all -- not stagnation. ?

 

I don't mean to impose anything on you, just offering things I hope will help. Certainly use and discard what you see fit!

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41 minutes ago, Becca the Student said:

Seeing the world through a tint of "greyness, dread, and hopelessness" is actually quite a common experience of those with chronic anxiety and depression. Anxiety isn't solely the experience of having anxiety attacks; it can also feel like a continuous background noise in your head, casting a cloud over your life. I read your post and it immediately reminded me deeply of myself back when I had more chronic anxiety, and especially of my friends and family who have been diagnosed/treated for anxiety and depression, so that's why I assumed it's anxiety that's causing this for you.

 

I can't tell, but it sounds like I offended you unintentionally? The reason I said "don't apologize" was because your phrasing made it seem like you felt somewhat ashamed or apologetic of what you were feeling (feeling "guilty" that you weren't posting something more positive, or referring to your chief features as "corruption", for example.) I meant to provide reassurance and acceptance, not judgment. If my own phrasing was bothersome, I sincerely apologize.

 

When I refer to Trust, I'm not talking about blind faith. I'm not saying "have faith that Tao will step in and solve your problems for you", because Tao isn't the direct source of or the direct cure for our problems. As Michael often reminds us, our choices (both individual and collective) are often both the source and the cure for our suffering. I'm saying if you believe in the existence of Tao, and if you believe in the teachings, then it stands to reason you believe in the core of both Tao and these teachings: that everything is created out of Love, Truth, and Beauty; that those energetic states are where we come from and are the states we continually evolve toward and eventually return to; that separation is an enforced state of mind that must erode away with evolution, because Love is quite literally gravity, and its impossible to forever escape its grasp.

 

It sounds like you equate "infinite" with "unchanging". Am I correct?

 

If you trust your own evolution, I think that's fantastic. I'd like to offer a gentle invitation to extend that trust if you want to: that if you evolve, then certainly everyone around you evolves (perhaps at difference paces), and that therefore the concept of things getting "better" is not simply a spiritual belief, but a scientific inevitability.

 

The saying goes "change is the only constant," after all -- not stagnation. ?

 

I don't mean to impose anything on you, just offering things I hope will help. Certainly use and discard what you see fit!


Aye, that makes sense. But doesn't anxiety originate from the chief features tho?

You did actually cause a small offense. I had written 'I do not apologize, but I am sorry' because I took effort in making sure my self-deprecation wasn't affecting what I was writing down. When you open'd with "don't apologize" my impression was that you didnt really properly read what I wrote to begin with. It's no biggie, and I truly appreciated everything else you wrote ? And I truly appreciate that you take your time and effort to try and help me out ❤️

I guess I don't really believe in the core of the tao and these teachings then. Because I can't understand how an existence so miserable that one does not wish to exist that be crafted out of a pot where all the ingredients were made out of love, truth and beauty. Or maybe I can faintly grasp the notion of how (with polarities and such) but I really can't comprehend why.


To some extend I equate 'infinite' with 'unchanging' in the way that things will always be difficult. Pain, physically, emotionally, will likely change into shapes n forms no one can even comprehend. But I assume 'difficult' will suck as profoundly in future lifetimes, lifeforms and universes as it does in this.

I trust my own evolution in the sense that I'll get over this hurdle at one point. But I do not trust the universe/tao etc because I know I will be served another in the next life, and the next after that, into infinity.
And I still don't see how things can get 'better'. We have already existed for an infinite amount of time, we have always 'been', we have never not 'been'. And this is where we are. Even if things did get 'better' apparently after having existed for forever and ever, it still isn't good enough that I can't be grateful to actually exist as a default of my being.

I appreciate your offerings ? And again I appreaciate your time and effort to having this conversation with me. And I hope it'll lead me towards a lighter, less grey perspective on this.. that would be indescribably awesome.
Not just because things actually got lighter, but because that alone would give me hope that things actually can get lighter with these questions, instead of always going darker.

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DianeHB

Your issues not only sound like anxiety, they sound like Flow as well. The two are related. Nicko, you were the one who asked Michael once about anxiety issues, and Michael said those in Flow are prone to them. That session saved me during a difficult time, and now I know that anxiety comes up whenever I have resistance to Flow. Resenting what you absolutely can't control as a human being on earth -- time, the potential of eternity -- is the epitome of going against the flow. ?

 

As someone with the same overleaves and has had struggles with anxiety, I would say that all these intellectual arguments don't really help. It's a form of running from yourself -- getting stuck in your centering's trap and bouncing between the intellectual and emotional centers. The only thing that has ever worked for me, and I have tried many things, is going within and facing those fears. This is what meditation can do. It can be hard to face our fears by ourselves because we're so used to running away. I strongly believe in working with a therapist you can trust or an energetic healer (or better yet, someone who does both). I'd also suggest you look into EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) because there are lots of free resources, and it's quite effective.

 

As far as how meditation works -- here's a good transcript where Michael discusses the use of meditation for transcending ego that might partially answer your question.

 

Edited by DianeHB
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@Nicko   Time is a byproduct of consciousness, the more conscious, the more time. For me there ain't no waste of time, a funny concept that can amuse us or not.
With every new idea you engaged yourself in and pursued, looks like to me, like the head of  Hydra, each time you got rid of one, 12 more grew out of it.
"Snap OUT OF IT"  sounds simple, however you perceive your life, its you who has to build into it what you want, and I wish for you, that it dawns on you what great work you are actually doing !!!
Time is always on your side, why not embrace a concept that eases you.
Imagine someone who just had to have a stomach surgery and most of it had to be cut away, now this person has to feed itself more often with little dosages of food, so feed yourself those little dosages of time, zest for live and joy more often, instead of hanging on to, what obviously doesn't serve you anymore.
Choice !!!
 
 
 
 
 
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11 minutes ago, DianeHB said:

Your issues not only sound like anxiety, they sound like Flow as well. The two are related. Nicko, you were the one who asked Michael once about anxiety issues, and Michael said those in Flow are prone to them. That session saved me during a difficult time, and now I know that anxiety comes up whenever I have resistance to Flow. Resenting what you absolutely can't control as a human being on earth -- time, the potential of eternity -- is the epitome of going against the flow. ?

 

As someone with the same overleaves and has had struggles with anxiety, I would say that all these intellectual arguments don't really help. It's a form of running from yourself -- getting stuck in your centering's trap and bouncing between the intellectual and emotional centers. The only things that have ever worked for me, and I have tried many things, is going within and facing those fears. This is what meditation can do. It can be hard to face our fears by ourselves because we're so used to running away. I strongly believe in working with a therapist you can trust or an energetic healer (or better yet, someone who does both). I'd also suggest you look into EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) because there are lots of free resources, and it's quite effective.

 

As far as how meditation works -- here's a good transcript where Michael discusses the use of meditation for transcending ego that might partially answer your question.

 


I will take your advices here about EFT and finding a therapist/healer to work with to heart and look into it. Thank you ? 
 

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Becca the Student
2 hours ago, Nicko said:


Aye, that makes sense. But doesn't anxiety originate from the chief features tho?

 

Just curious, what makes you think so? I've never thought of it as such, but I can certainly be wrong. Michael has described anxiety to me as "a process of overthinking that leads to over-emotion and under-action". I understood that to mean that anxiety is simply a mechanism used to process fear, wherever that fear originates from, but I may have misinterpreted! ?

 

For example, I get anxiety about a great many things. Some of the things that trigger my anxiety come out of the fear of having no control -- which would relate to my chief feature of Arrogance, definitely. But some of what triggers my anxiety comes from a fear of being stuck -- which would be related to my Goal of Growth. And, ironically, the fear of experiencing the unknown -- also related to my Goal of Growth. XD

 

I figure fear itself is not something one necessarily wants to get rid of. After all, fear of putting your hand on the stove because you know it's going to burn you is a very useful fear to have. Same with Michael's example of walking down the path with the bear: without the fear of being eaten or attacked by that bear, the traveler on the path would not avoid the bear, and might then be eaten or attacked on that path, instead of choosing to walk around and live another day.

 

If there's a way for fear to catalyze a mechanism through which I make active, informed choices (processing fear as information), than the mechanism through which I over-emotionalize my fear is just one of the many mechanisms my body can use to process that information. I don't necessarily need to get rid of the source of the information... just the means through which I process it, if that makes sense.

 

Hahaha I'm sorry, I'm rambling a little. I'm a fellow student of philosophy and psychology, so I tend to get caught up in a lot of "if this, therefore that"s. Product of being in a family of scientists, I suppose.

 

I'll try to find some of my anxiety sessions and post them. I'd love to have an Ask Michael one day about the mechanics of anxiety and depression. It looks like a lot of us deal with it!

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12 hours ago, Becca the Student said:

 

Just curious, what makes you think so? I've never thought of it as such, but I can certainly be wrong. Michael has described anxiety to me as "a process of overthinking that leads to over-emotion and under-action". I understood that to mean that anxiety is simply a mechanism used to process fear, wherever that fear originates from, but I may have misinterpreted! ?

 

For example, I get anxiety about a great many things. Some of the things that trigger my anxiety come out of the fear of having no control -- which would relate to my chief feature of Arrogance, definitely. But some of what triggers my anxiety comes from a fear of being stuck -- which would be related to my Goal of Growth. And, ironically, the fear of experiencing the unknown -- also related to my Goal of Growth. XD

 

I figure fear itself is not something one necessarily wants to get rid of. After all, fear of putting your hand on the stove because you know it's going to burn you is a very useful fear to have. Same with Michael's example of walking down the path with the bear: without the fear of being eaten or attacked by that bear, the traveler on the path would not avoid the bear, and might then be eaten or attacked on that path, instead of choosing to walk around and live another day.

 

If there's a way for fear to catalyze a mechanism through which I make active, informed choices (processing fear as information), than the mechanism through which I over-emotionalize my fear is just one of the many mechanisms my body can use to process that information. I don't necessarily need to get rid of the source of the information... just the means through which I process it, if that makes sense.

 

Hahaha I'm sorry, I'm rambling a little. I'm a fellow student of philosophy and psychology, so I tend to get caught up in a lot of "if this, therefore that"s. Product of being in a family of scientists, I suppose.

 

I'll try to find some of my anxiety sessions and post them. I'd love to have an Ask Michael one day about the mechanics of anxiety and depression. It looks like a lot of us deal with it!


Just remember reading michael saying something about mostly all sorts of suffering stems from the chief features in one way or another. My memory can be off aswell =p

I think the main issue of mine is what people above have mentioned already tho. That Im having issues getting out of the negative pole of flow.

Rational fear in itself I have no problem with. Good old physical based fear is something I do not mind at all, that's what brings excitement to my world.
It's the psychological fear of thoughts n concepts I struggle with. I used to love to think and philosophy about all sorts of things before, truly loved it. But these days those realms of thought have been turned into a nightmare.
Can't have coffee without feeling a surge of anxiety or a full on panic attack, same with weed and alcohol. And psychedelics is a ship long gone, I touch that stuff now and you all risk seeing me running butt nekkid down the mainstreet of my capital city in full panicmode throwing poop at innocent bystanders, lmao. So I went from living in a world full of possibility, to a world of many limitations and terrors.

I think people here who mentioned me being stuck in the negative pole of flow is tthe ones who's most on track with pointing out my issue tho.
Like @DianeHB pointing out I had a session about it with michael a long time ago that I had completely forgotten about. Seems Ive gotten so sucked into this spiral that I've completely forgotten important pieces of information I once had.

I really don't mind your ramblings at all, suppose thats how we play, us students of philosophy and psychology ?

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