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Idealism question/obseravtion


Leela Corman

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Leela Corman

Lately I've been considering my Attitude in the context of a particular struggle I'm having in my life. I feel like it's working overtime to sell me something that isn't quite true. Telling me a situation with someone is going to work out as I want it to, despite the other party's current life situation and limitations being very clear. It's kind of driving me crazy. Fellow Idealists, do you ever fall into a trap of Seeing How It Could Be, and being unable to pull yourself out of it? I feel like my attitude is on steroids lately. 

 

Sorry if this is a little vague. 

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Luciana Flora

I do not know exactly how my attitude influences me. Although idealistic, I have never tried to change the world. Maybe there is some influence of self-depreciation here. I always had trouble believing that I could change the world.


  Maybe I can improve my life .. and some people closer to me. But the world .. I really doubt it ..


Sometimes I think I'm very self centered. So I think my idealism focuses on me. In the distance between who I am and whom I believe it should be .. Maybe there is my idealism .

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Mari Lynn

@Leela Corman, I have tended to fall in love (when I was in THAT space in my life!) with someone's *potential* vs *how they ACTUALLY were* showing up. It was like denial in a way, or it kept me persevering in the relationship, until it became so undoubtedly clear to me that it (the relationship) or the person was not going to change and/or not capable of a relationship that would be more healthy for both of us. It certainly (that idealism) can be a trap if there is fear and/or in the negative pole, naivete....which of course I couldn't see until I extracted myself from that individual. 

Now, I am soooo skeptical, and maybe even cynical, that I haven't even remotely been involved with anyone for at least 3 years. Maybe even longer... that's a long time for me. But I no longer desire a partner...

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  • 3 months later...
Tawanyh

Potential, yes exactly. I've had that issue of sensing someone's going to be amazing eventually or like, when the relationship collapses, I've felt saddened because of how different things are from what they could've been, how the reality pales in comparison to the excellent standard in my mind. 

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