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Leela Corman

Idealism question/obseravtion

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Leela Corman

Lately I've been considering my Attitude in the context of a particular struggle I'm having in my life. I feel like it's working overtime to sell me something that isn't quite true. Telling me a situation with someone is going to work out as I want it to, despite the other party's current life situation and limitations being very clear. It's kind of driving me crazy. Fellow Idealists, do you ever fall into a trap of Seeing How It Could Be, and being unable to pull yourself out of it? I feel like my attitude is on steroids lately. 

 

Sorry if this is a little vague. 

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Luciana Flora

I do not know exactly how my attitude influences me. Although idealistic, I have never tried to change the world. Maybe there is some influence of self-depreciation here. I always had trouble believing that I could change the world.


  Maybe I can improve my life .. and some people closer to me. But the world .. I really doubt it ..


Sometimes I think I'm very self centered. So I think my idealism focuses on me. In the distance between who I am and whom I believe it should be .. Maybe there is my idealism .

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Mari Lynn

@Leela Corman, I have tended to fall in love (when I was in THAT space in my life!) with someone's *potential* vs *how they ACTUALLY were* showing up. It was like denial in a way, or it kept me persevering in the relationship, until it became so undoubtedly clear to me that it (the relationship) or the person was not going to change and/or not capable of a relationship that would be more healthy for both of us. It certainly (that idealism) can be a trap if there is fear and/or in the negative pole, naivete....which of course I couldn't see until I extracted myself from that individual. 

Now, I am soooo skeptical, and maybe even cynical, that I haven't even remotely been involved with anyone for at least 3 years. Maybe even longer... that's a long time for me. But I no longer desire a partner...

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