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ENERGY REPORT: December 2018

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Bobby
2 hours ago, KurtisM said:

December was certainly way better than every other month, but February comes in close.

I am so glad the energies of fucking 2018 are ENDING.

I will truly celebrate tonight the energies of the new. I've got my New Years Resolutions already set and I won't let them decay from inaction. Not in a Moving Centered Year especially.

 

The sun is out.  Let's charge up the glow in the dark Ouija Board for tonight!  😄

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RachelL
On 12/9/2018 at 11:11 AM, Troy said:

December 31st - January 3rd  -- NEXUS -- CONVERGENCE --  This looks to be a convergence drawing together more parallels aimed for collective recovery and healing. A Healing Nexus, if you will.

 

I'm all for this Healing Nexus! In fact, I had a dream last night that my tooth fell out and then my Task Companion offered me a bowl of soup/broth, a symbol for healing. 

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Lori Abrams
20 hours ago, RachelL said:

 

I'm all for this Healing Nexus! In fact, I had a dream last night that my tooth fell out and then my Task Companion offered me a bowl of soup/broth, a symbol for healing. 

I was just looking for anything on this Healing Nexus.  I was one of the exhausted ones earlier in the month but could only steal rest here and there due to holiday hustle and bustle.  Once home, after all was accomplished and done with, I've crashed, thinking it's time to do something but I just don't really want to.  I'm still tired and still need rest.  Mind is moving back to what it is that really interests me, including ways to add to healing and feeling my best.  Right now, it's in theory form, as I still need rest.  It'll come.  I feel it moving, but not today.  🙂

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Nadine

Is this Healing Nexus supposed to feel good? Because I feel like shit. I guess healing can be painful sometimes, too...

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Rosario

well, the nexus is very apparent here! Many friends are going for massages and taking time off. I just came back from the chiropractor. 

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Bogi
22 hours ago, Nadine said:

Is this Healing Nexus supposed to feel good? Because I feel like shit. I guess healing can be painful sometimes, too...

 

@Nadine, if it is of any consolation of you, my yesterday and today have been quite interesting. 

Personally, to me it has been briefly revisiting some patterns from last July when I went kinda crazy.

I am okay, I know what is going on, but apparently I felt the need to revisit that very strange place in me.

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Wendy

@Nadine I've had a pair of muscle spasms on opposite sides of my back since 12/31 and def not feeling so well.  I'm considering it a healing crisis after a couple very successful weeks to end the year.

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Nadine

@Bogi @Wendy I've been crying nonstop for the last couple of days. Kept crying at work today. Talked to my boss about it and he got so emotional, he started crying too. WTF is going on? I mean, I had a break up recently but I didn't even cry that much when I broke up with my husband of 13 years or when close relatives died. I feel desolate and lonely and sad and I just can't stop crying. It's super embarrassing, because I start crying wherever I am at the moment. Besides crying at work several times, I cried in the subway and waiting in line at the supermarket today. I just lost total control over my heartstrings, it seems. This sucks.

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KurtisM

@Nadine, I also surprisingly cried pretty intensely yesterday after I got home from my long shift. Which was very tiring for some reason, likely because the Convergence sapped me of my energy.

I started crying after watching this video

Although I didn't cry just because of it. It just unearthed a lot of the challenges and grief and resistance and patterns that I've been processing this year. Physically this was the worst year ever for me. Intellectually it was one of the best.

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Maureen
1 hour ago, Nadine said:

@Bogi @Wendy I've been crying nonstop for the last couple of days. Kept crying at work today. Talked to my boss about it and he got so emotional, he started crying too. WTF is going on? I mean, I had a break up recently but I didn't even cry that much when I broke up with my husband of 13 years or when close relatives died. I feel desolate and lonely and sad and I just can't stop crying. It's super embarrassing, because I start crying wherever I am at the moment. Besides crying at work several times, I cried in the subway and waiting in line at the supermarket today. I just lost total control over my heartstrings, it seems. This sucks.

 

@Nadine,  it sounds like you’re exploring, and exposing, some deep emotional truths. Much love to you, today, and always!  💞

583B9C8C-9BD5-4556-8261-958EC84E0392.jpeg

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Tincha

@Nadine, I've been feeling the same for the past few days. Surprisingly, I can still stay calm and let it happen without thinking too much about the cause. 

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Leela Corman

I'd been feeling like a trapped animal, so Tom suggested I take a few days and go to NYC to see friends and art. Because I won a grant, and am married to an incredibly good guy, I was able to do that. So I spent all last weekend in rainy New York, seeing the AMAZING Hilma Af Klint exhibition at the Guggenheim, and spending a day at the Met; I also saw yet another reunion show of my favorite American band Come, which was transportingly loud and beautiful, as always, and saw many friends who I love and who saying goodbye to again caused me to cry on the subway. And had a magical evening drinking corpse revivers and doing tag-team tarot readings for the bartenders and for the busboy in a chi-chi French bistro in Greenpoint that's where a great old greasy spoon luncheonette used to be pre-gentrification. The busboy is a recent arrival from Venezuela, and was clearly in need of some connection and love; he told us that both he and his brother are in the US and are both gay and that he's worried about how much shit his mom takes for that back home; his stress at carrying those worries, and at just being a new American and new New Yorker, were so palpable. We told him welcome, and to find some Latinx LGBT folks to connect with, and other things. So that was a great moment of human connection.

 

On the 31st, I missed my flight home from Newark (thank you, NJ Transit, for being the fabulous clusterfuck you always are, never change!) and ended up calling a nearby friend, who kindly brought me to her friend's New Year's Eve dinner; her friend was until recently an editor at the Paris Review and we served on an art jury together a couple of years ago. So that was lovely. The next day she took me to a brunch with a friend of hers who just did something amazing legally that I'm not sure I can talk about here but it involves the recent awsuit-lay against the $5f8rump F@0nD4tion and this person was the public face of the prosecution in that awsuit-lay so you can imagine, that was quite an interesting brunch.

 

I was annoyed at myself for missing my plane, which is kind of a rookie move, and for losing a day with my daughter. But it was an interesting suspension of control, and I ended up in such interesting situations. Yesterday was my first real day back, and I was exhausted! Like, dragged down into the depths tired. It felt supernatural and out of the reach of caffeine. Today I'm pretty fatigued too. I wonder if that's my response to the nexus.

 

I just read this great piece about some highlights of today's swearing in of 100! New! Women! In Congress! and it makes me think about this Energy Report:

 

https://www.thecut.com/2019/01/congresswomen-2019-swearing-in-ceremony-best-moments.html

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Wendy

@Nadine wow that sounds really intense and I hope that you are feeling refreshed and reborn on the other side!  Much love to you!💕

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Luciana Flora

I always find it difficult to see myself in any energy report .. I do not know exactly why.


Maybe it's the fact that I did not focus much on the outside world. At school, for example, I found the environment so unpleasant that I did not even pay attention to what was going on around me. I was going somewhere else in my mind I think I still have some of that today. Maybe that's why I see myself in energy reports. I've always felt a bit disconnected from the outside world. I'm still going to ask Michael this because it's something intrigues me

 

 

  However I do find a really good source of information .. the most useful information for me last year was about the true voice .. I discovered that what I believed to be my true voice was far from being ..

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Rosario

@Nadine & all of you, much love! May your energies transform in something beautiful!

 

I've noticed many friends getting sick, like they are processing / burning off the last remnants of 2018 for a clear year start.

 

also, I'm feeling a Sage year! 

 

 

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KurtisM

@Rosario, while I do desire an Artisan Year so I can kick butt (plus so we can have an Artisan Year for the first time in 20 years), I also think we've settled into a Sage Year.

So if so, gear up for some fun, turbulent times with a focus on entertainment, media, information, children, education and animals. Then dive deep into the honesty, sincerity and integrity of your communication- as well as use your expression in a myriad of ways to inconspicuously teach others about the values of a healthy, happy, constructive and awesome life.

Edited by KurtisM
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Juni

 I'm feeling much lighter and better since the year turned, even when I'm hurting or tired.  It's almost like I partially changed bodies or something. It's a real relief.

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DianeHB

I and a few others close to me have been feeling a lot of fear and anxiety since the Nexus. Last night I was talking to Tex about his fears that showed up, and it occurred to me that a healing Nexus probably does bring up some of our greatest wounds that are looking to be healed. Mine is around speaking and since January 1st I've felt like I'm incapable of speaking without being awkward and embarrassed. Then today it shifted, and I feel more confident and even look forward to practicing public speaking this year. It also feels like a Sage year to me as I'm already focusing on speaking and Expression.

 

Does anyone else feel better today than they have been in the last few days?

Edited by DianeHB
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SunSand

Hmm now that I think about it, I think I had been going with the energies of the healing nexus. I was snappier than usual, has started feeling very uncomfortable with myself. Feelings like embarrassment or shame started to surface at work. It was like I was a fish out of water who is successful at acting like I am land animal. I found it strange that these suddenly started to come up and it seems to be related to how I struggled in the past to be relevant, valued, or useful the way society demands me to be and contribute the way society demands that I should contribute otherwise. It seems that this issue is still unresolved in me. 

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Wendy

I'm not really feeling better yet.  I feel like I'm in a holding pattern.  My back isn't awful but still spasming.  After a phenomenally great end of the year, I'm just meh now.  One of my clients died, leaving a big hole in my schedule (and budget but I am telling myself it's making room for a higher paying one.)  I also really liked him and I will miss having him in my life.  Back in September I was so excited about leading dance classes again and in the last couple weeks it became clear to me that I didn't want to do that anymore and today is what will probably be my last class.  I haven't told anyone in the collective yet either.  Ever since I started doing conscious dance 9 years ago it's been like the #1 thing in my life and I thought I needed to be a leader in that but now it just feels like a drain on my energy so this is a huge thing.  

 

So right now I am continuing to fight any anxiety that arises (rarely I am pleased to report) and invite whatever may come. I'm not actively pursuing much and once again focusing on my self care.  I am a bit bummed because I felt all that enthusiasm in December and now I'm just kinda tired and bored.  But I trust that enthusiasm will return and that in and of itself feels like major progress...trusting myself and the flow.

@DianeHB

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Juni
16 hours ago, DianeHB said:

I and a few others close to me have been feeling a lot of fear and anxiety since the Nexus. Last night I was talking to Tex about his fears that showed up, and it occurred to me that a healing Nexus probably does bring up some of our greatest wounds that are looking to be healed. Mine is around speaking and since January 1st I've felt like I'm incapable of speaking without being awkward and embarrassed.

I had an extremely brief and fierce depression spiral for about a day, the middle of the Nexus, but that seems to have resolved. It sucked hugely at the time, though.

Edited by Juni
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Ingun

@Juni I have also noticed that since the year turned I have felt so different - a totally different energy. I felt so much lighter, and still do, so lighthearted, happy, amused and everything is just so much easier in a way. It's really a relief and feels so good since December was hard and heavy for me (it started mid-late November). The last month of the year was for me a huge process around the CF of Greed 24/7. I felt like shit all the time but told myself that "this will too pass". I almost didn't trust it would, but it did. Wonderful 2019 so far.

During the healing nexus I can't say if I noticed anything actually. I knew there was a new moon ahead, which is today where I live, so I wasn't surpriced about my need for less sleep during the week and also waking up after only a few hours of sleep. I noticed my need for less sleep starting 6-7 days before the full moon, instead of 3-4 days which is more my usual experience.

 

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Leela Corman

I've been *exhausted* all week, no matter how much I've slept, exercised, or had strong coffee. I just feel like a dish rag. At first I thought it was just from traveling over the holiday weekend and that I'd bounce back after a day, but it's been every day, all week. Today after lunch at a friend's house I came home, drank an espresso, and promptly passed out into an anvil-heavy sleep for over an hour. I had the distinct impression that I was in a cocoon preparing for something. I would like my energy back but I do also hope some good transitions are coming. 2018 was a momentous year in which I learned (or maybe re-learned) some pretty intense stuff about myself. It was a rollercoaster; winter and spring were great and I spent the autumn mostly in tears. So I'm not surprised to be tired. But I've done so much work to bring conscious awareness to shifting times - space clearing, de-cording, on and on. I just want to sleep all the time this week. My immunity feels low even though I'm not sick. Maybe this is how my body is responding to whatever this nexus is? I look forward to the January Energy Report.

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DianeHB
9 minutes ago, Leela Corman said:

I've been *exhausted* all week, no matter how much I've slept, exercised, or had strong coffee. I just feel like a dish rag. At first I thought it was just from traveling over the holiday weekend and that I'd bounce back after a day, but it's been every day, all week. Today after lunch at a friend's house I came home, drank an espresso, and promptly passed out into an anvil-heavy sleep for over an hour. I had the distinct impression that I was in a cocoon preparing for something. I would like my energy back but I do also hope some good transitions are coming. 2018 was a momentous year in which I learned (or maybe re-learned) some pretty intense stuff about myself. It was a rollercoaster; winter and spring were great and I spent the autumn mostly in tears. So I'm not surprised to be tired. But I've done so much work to bring conscious awareness to shifting times - space clearing, de-cording, on and on. I just want to sleep all the time this week. My immunity feels low even though I'm not sick. Maybe this is how my body is responding to whatever this nexus is? I look forward to the January Energy Report.

 

Ask and you shall receive! I asked about the Nexus in today’s Ask Michael. 

 

 

Edited by DianeHB
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