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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: January 2019

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Wendy
13 minutes ago, Bobby said:

 

@Wendy is our official resident tapper  🙂

🤣thanks @Bobby

 

@Becca I'd love to compare notes with you some time!

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Becca the Student
8 hours ago, Wendy said:

🤣thanks @Bobby

 

@Becca I'd love to compare notes with you some time!

Oh, yes, please! I've only just begun using Tapping, so I'd love to chat with our resident expert about it. 😉

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Wendy
8 hours ago, Becca the Student said:

Oh, yes, please! I've only just begun using Tapping, so I'd love to chat with our resident expert about it. 😉

Great!  I love to talk about it!

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Christina Lily Pedersen
On 1/11/2019 at 12:04 AM, NickG said:

@Heidi hmmmmm Ithink I see. Yah could be a bummer to go through but I think we're all fairly intimate with that kind of energy now lol I just don't feel that way now meself at the moment. Just figure I  have to keep going and not hang up on the results. Ironically coming from me who is obsessed with results lol 

 

😂😂😂 I'll do my best. It's not that I think the world was going to change overnight or hell even in the span of a year. I don't know, something in my atmosphere just has a sense of possibility to it that wasn't there before. An embrace of what could be. Granted, I usually get very caught up in the craziness of the world, but it's just all so absurd in a horribly morbid,fascinating way. I don't know what else to do but laugh sometimes at it. Plus, I'm doing what I can in my personal world to make things better. It's not as if I could change the world. I'm doing my part and things will change regardless so whatever happens then I'll just adapt to that too. I'd rather try to enjoy my time now then wait for some elusive, heavenly state of the world. Now I say this while knowing and not knowing fully how fucked up the world is and can be. It's not that I wish it away so to speak, but try to acknowledge the joy, with the despair, the awe, and the disappointments, the love and ironically the apathy. Totally not a full proof system lol but I think I may be on to something, at least in my personal sphere. 

 

But hey what better time to discover your True Peace then in a time where that is seemingly impossible 😂 I imagine it is more about finding the peace in conflict, in craziness, etc... And to rehash what @Becca the Student said this seems to be our year to do and create what we want in our world. Like, we're given all the paints, and brushes, and canvases, so now we can actually do something with it and begin to create the life we've always dreamed of. 

Thank you, @NickG, @Becca the Student, @Luciana Flora and @Timothy J Sullivan for the encouraging words. 

I do agree with Becca in her interpretation of what Michael tried to say with this report, and I knew my own was likely very fear-based even when I wrote it,

It was all helpful, for sure. 

I am loving the feeling of 2019 this past week, really. As Nick said, what better time to find True Peace than now, right?

I am feeling more like myself than I have, almost my entire life, I have to say. 

I have been wondering about myself these past years, just to give an example, about why I of all people (I come from a very lonely background where I have relied almost entirely on myself to solve everything, and have been at odds with other people constantly, trying to defend my right to be in this world, in short that was what my life so far has been about) have started to fear what other people think of me. It may sound like wishful thinking but for years, I would follow my instincts without compromise, and I would never ever be a person to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I didn't do one bit to make people like me, didn't mind terribly that they didn't and just stayed by myself. But after I started caring, I also started fearing, in a big way. And I am not saying that is wrong, but it's just ... strange after so many years with no such feelings. 

I started listening to people, I started not saying what I really meant, I started fearing sharing my ideals and thoughts because of what people might think.

I thought it had something to do with the fear of losing approval, but at the same time, it was strange to me, because I had the idea that my life had been formed the way it was for a purpose - and that purpose might be that I needed a thick skin later in life.

Now, I feel almost as I usually did. I love and care about people, but like @Troy says - some people you just can't be around. He often speaks of his hate for Trump supporters, and I share those powerful feelings, I really do. And I feel the same away about stupidity and people who don't care about animals and the planet. I just do. And I am not going to be silent anymore.

My fear of what others will think vanished with 2019! It's so odd!

I also felt many of my own destructive patterns fall away in the ENDINGS shift ... I always struggled with my daily life and my need for peace and not working too much because I get overwhelmed. But that is gone, too! 

What have you guys experienced with regards to endings in patterns?

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Leela Corman
16 minutes ago, Christina Lily Pedersen said:

 

What have you guys experienced with regards to endings in patterns? 

 

I've been thinking about this. So far, I'm not sure. But, there's a person in my life who featured prominently last year, and whose continuation into this year I have been wondering about. They contacted me yesterday to tell me, among other things, that their current silence was, in their words, "neither permanent nor personal". So that's small-i interesting, I guess, simply for being on that day/in this window. I do feel some internal things shifting. But I suspect that it will take time to all see clearly what is staying and what is not, in both personal life and the larger world. It will be interesting to watch and experience it, all together!

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Maureen

I don't normally post my dreams in an Energy Report, or without an interpretation from Michael, but this one seems to be so obviously about the ending of the Healing Convergence (for me) that I thought I would post it here. 

 

January 12, 2019:  Finally, this morning, I had my last dream (been having them for nights) where I was away, sort of, staying in a hotel complex in a foreign country with other people on my team where we were transporting people and data. It seemed was so complicated ...and complex and secretive. I’m glad we’re done. We had all this subterfuge, technology, and equipment... literal old tapes, boxes of them. I’m not sure whether I said a joke or not at the end to everyone that we had now transported everyone using a Star Trek like transponder. It felt like we HAD done that but in a different way that felt more like a mix of “old school” hence the old, literal boxes of recorded “tapes”, communicating with screens that looked like mirrors, and handheld phones. It had been so “complicated” and entangled but we did it well, as a team, and we could all go home now, everyone had a clean up job. Our team said goodbye to each other and we quickly dispersed. I checked to make sure that all the tapes (in boxes that looked old shoe boxes), etc., had been removed for disposal (because they had been successfully transported wherever they had been sent) and everything looked clear and clean to me so I was on my way back to my hotel room. From there I could get on with my life with my own family who seemed to have been with me but not during the actual work of the transport of people, data, etc., which we did secretly all over the place in different locations around and in the hotel - it seemed. It was considered highly successful and we were done!! High Five all round!!  ♥

 

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KurtisM

@Christina Lily Pedersen I have ended years of feeling that my life and problems do not matter because I do not suffer enough compared to others.

I ended years of feeling that I have to hide my true self- I am now coming out far more with all that I am, bit by bit.

I have ended a self-karma I just realized today that ensued between Collapsing or Enduring when faced with challenges. All I knew to do for years when met with the unknown was to collapse and implode and hide away, but I felt ashamed that I was not being responsible and strong. My Essence tells me I collapsed so many times because it was the only way Old Me could know he mattered and was real, even if it meant the only way to prove he mattered was by destroying something in that collapse.

 

But above all I have ended any need to define myself by what anyone else says or does around or about me, or by any fear that comes up in me. I simply do not define myself by those things anymore.

 

As for Beginnings, I am starting to live life far more Freely. If nothing defines me but me, much of the pressure I used to live under can dissipate and I can make choices confidently, without fear of being wrong or selfish or even stuck in hurt and shame.

I simply do not find my mattering and meaning when I am stuck anymore. I find it by what I choose to do, create and nurture.

I have relinquished much of my control issues. Whenever I get antsy that I have not done or can not do enough to feel happy or accomplished, I tell myself to "take it one step at a time" and am easing into telling myself that "this will pass". 

My 2019 will be defined by EMPOWERMENT, HARVESTING, MOBILIZATION and RENEWAL.

I still have issues with feeling stuck, but I do not define myself and potential by them.

I am aiming to be more involved, authentic and self-expressive. 

Edited by KurtisM
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Becca the Student

I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety recently, especially around travel, and I happened to be traveling this past Friday. At some point during the trip, we went through a tunnel, and I was feeling my usual pre-anxious tenseness... but then, halfway through the tunnel, I felt my emotional body suddenly shift. It felt a little tingly, and freeing, and I remember thinking: "Well, this is quite silly, isn't it? This is a silly fear. I don't think this is necessary. I can live without this perfectly well." And the tenseness went away like that. I almost wanted to laugh. And then the sunlight streamed in, quite literally, as we had reached the end of the tunnel.

 

My anxiety hasn't fully left me yet, but I've been able to easily get through some situations this weekend I had worried I wouldn't be able to get through. I think the message about what the energy shift is bringing for me was pretty loud and clear, though (I'm laughing at how hilariously poetic it seemed): for me, it's the end of letting fear block my way, and the beginning of living a life free of anxiety.

 

It's funny, my QP for the year is Adventure. I was excited to read that, as I've been craving some bold and wondrous experiences these past few months (goal of Growth kicking in), but I also had no idea how I was thinking of going about being adventurous, as my anxiety had really paralyzed me this past year. I guess now I know. 🙂

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Nadine
On 1/8/2019 at 3:31 PM, Troy said:

When it passes, it will likely be as startling as it was when it washed over you because you will wonder why it felt so overwhelming and felt so “real.”

 

I feel so much better now! It's really weird, just one week ago I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of this horrible, grieving, desperate state I was in alone. I even started looking for a therapist. Then, about Wednesday last week, this heavy and confusing energy started to disperse and I felt much calmer and more centered. I felt like me again. I went to see a therapist yesterday and she was basically like "Yeah, I don't think you need therapy, you've got all the tools and you're doing just fine. Just be patient with yourself and your patterns." 😄 So yeah, I felt much more stuck in old patterns than I actually am. I'm so glad I'm out of the woods. That was terrifying.

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Diane

I felt quite good yesterday and I wrote it off as getting back to a reasonable routine and saying goodbye to a house guest!  I will have another look at the timing.

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Leela Corman

I'm still feeling that sense of shifting energy from the old into the new, where it's a little uncertain and old patterns still float up and dissolve and then reassemble. It's a bit annoying for me, on a personal level. Something new that's emerging for me is a sense of needing to recreate some boundaries for myself, and it's currently manifesting in my life as a teacher, where I just feel like I want to take less b.s. from students. I'm feeling it in other areas too. I need to be careful because sometimes I can come across as scary when I'm setting boundaries, and that''s another thing I'm trying to work with right now - expression of personal power. On a much more personal level I spent a lot of last year allowing my boundaries to completely disappear in certain situations, and now I'm feeling the repercussions of that, so maybe that's one reason it's coming up. My two poles of boundary-setting seem to be, on one end, a hard stance, and on the other, feeling extremely guilty and anxious about even attempting to stand up for my needs. The hard stance tends to manifest at work and the anxiety and guilt in personal relationships. Ha. Ha ha. Ha. Argh.

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KurtisM

@Leela Corman, I'm also feeling the residue of last year. I'm still Revolving and Looping around issues, thoughts and ideas (Revolution was the global theme of 2018). But the difference between this and last year is that now what I'm looping around over and over are positive, constructive affirmations that support my intentions and keep me clear in my efforts.

I've kind of realized that I have spent a lot of my daily energy in anxiety and needless stress. Now I know those states are just comfortable lies I've gotten used to that in truth are what keep me stuck more than anything else.

I actually get a lot more done if I just call myself out and do things anyway. Distress and anxiety are a lot less productive fuels than I used to believe. But I would ideally like the looping to end.

Edited by KurtisM
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Jeroen

I have been feeling fairly calm and at peace with myself this week. I am not feeling as anxious either. All that useless worrying and anxiety gets to be tiring after a while. I had my back adjusted at the chiropractor today and my body feels pretty good right now overall with more energy too.

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MelinS

I can usually stay optimistic by remembering that everything we do will eventually be known. I find peace knowing that those who behave badly will have to face the consequences someday. But the pickle the U.S. is in as 2019 begins has eroded my belief that behaving with integrity “wins” in our culture.

 

We went to Joshua Tree National Park just after the U.S. government shutdown began, and at that time my fellow Americans appeared to behave rationally and respectfully in this breathtaking place. But in recent weeks, as selfish, incontinent idiots leave their crap all over our national parks (hallowed ground for sure), I think about how Michael compared this moment in our culture with the fall of the Rome. The U.S. is pock-marked by conspicuous consumption, rude and angry behavior, and the apparent triumph of those who behave badly over those who treat themselves and others with respect. We're destroying ourselves from the inside out.

 

When people trash some of the most beautiful places on earth just because no one is watching, I feel hopeless that our society can get its head out of its ass long enough to tackle the big and difficult issues that we must address right now. What can mild-mannered old souls do to stop this rush toward our culture’s destruction?

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KurtisM

Well so far 2019 is just as exhausting as 2018 but with less anxiety (only because Im keeping myself in check). I dunno how I'm going to get through another arduous year and get all that I desire to do initiated- to make the most out of my Personal Year 8-- but somehow I will...

Here's to a new life for me this year. 🍻 😔

 

I'm going to go sleep...

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Maureen

Considering it's an Artisan year and we're, globally, in deep need of either an overhaul or collapse, living with the potential of an IS Manifestion/Intervention, I thought I would add something to the mix to show how change happens within a society with material from Michael. I've highlighted how change happens for the Artisan and Warrior as these are the predominant Roles in the U.S., at this time, and that is where I see the greatest change is coming from...  although I can see how all the Roles of change are playing their parts.

 

From an ASK Michael on February 7, 2016 ~ blog entry Societal Change ~ by Role

 

MEntity:  Because of the breadth and depth of this topic, we can only share a brief outline today, but encourage further exploration. If we understand your question and premise correctly, we can describe the various forms of Change within a society to be as follows:

 

NURTURING CHANGE, with positive pole of Progressive and negative pole of Safe.

RADICAL CHANGE with positive pole of Overhaul and negative pole of Collapse.

PERSUASIVE CHANGE with positive pole of Invisible and negative pole of Deceitful.

REMOTE CHANGE with positive pole of Unaffected and negative pole of Apathetic.

REVOLUTIONARY CHANGE with positive pole of Renewal and negative pole of Rebellion.

REPRESSED CHANGE - with positive pole of Slow and negative pole of Regressive.

REQUIRED CHANGE - with positive pole of Responsible and negative pole of Resistant (painful).

 

MEntity:  These do correlate to the Roles, and are in order of Server, Artisan, Warrior, Scholar, Sage, Priest, and King.

 

Maureen:  Great!  Thanks.

 

MEntity:  Though the preference for methods of change is not limited to Role, there may be some familiarity in the brief descriptions.

 

MEntity:  In the United States, which is a heavy Artisan/Warrior country, change tends to come in the correlative ways associated with those Roles.

 

MEntity:  This is an example on a larger scale.

 

MEntity:  We can elaborate in further exchanges, but this structure of preferences and paths for Change tend to be how social change comes about, and how those within those social structures will fight to implement their ideal path and preferences.

 

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Uma
On 1/8/2019 at 9:31 AM, Troy said:

2019 OVERLEAVES

 

ROLE: Artisan (emphasized all year)

CENTER: Moving (emphasized all year)

GOAL: Flow → Acceptance/Discrimination (emphasized Jan - Mar)

MODE: Observation → Passion/Reserve (emphasized Apr - Jun)

ATTITUDE: Realist (emphasized Jul - Sep)

CHIEF FEATURES: Self-Destruction (emphasized Oct - Dec)

 

I'm beginning to see how this year's Overleaves are manifesting/showing up, and they really do seem made to order for the moment as we move from the Negative Poles towards the Positive. Chief Feature is a little worrisome 😁

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KurtisM

Here are some other Energy Report articles on the various energies emphasized this year:

 

ARTISAN: NONE, we have not had an Artisan Year since at least the Close of the 20th Century.

MOVING: 2002 January Article2003 August Article. February 2009 (Moving and Flow). September 2009. 2011 Preview. January 2015 (with Higher Moving). January 2016 (compared to Higher Moving).

FLOW: March 2009March 2011January 2013. February 2013. March 2013.

OBSERVATION: 2007 March Article2007 April Article. 2007 May Article.

REALIST: 2007 August Article. 2007 September Article. July 2014September 2014. July 2017. August 2017. September 2017.

SELF-DESTRUCTION: October 2013. November 2013September 2016October 2016. November 2016

Edited by KurtisM
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Christian

Curious.

 

Has anyone else just had a case of the fuck its this last week?

 

My wife and I and people we work with all have just at various points completely checked out of work etc.

 

Like I have the mental capacity to watch cat videos and nothing else.

 

Wondering if it's kind of a mental break.

 

Like prepping for a storm.

 

Thoughts?

 

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Evelin

Yes, @Christian. Adult colouring books and old TV series here, along with a stomach bug that is morphing into a head cold. Good times...

Feels like I'm swinging between overhaul and collapse every single day, sorting both internal and material stuff I've carried for years, while feeling "what's the point" in the middle of it. Strange, but I just keep going, step by step.

Edited by Evelin
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DianeHB

I had one of the best weeks ever last week. Last Monday I gave a short presentation for my Meetup group with very little nervousness, and it was just up from there. All I did was my marketing and admin work and go to some networking events, and I just enjoyed myself through all of it. I felt utterly present and awake and happy with my life. My social anxiety is completely gone (knock on wood), even when I did things that would normally challenge it. I'm rather amazed, actually. 

Edited by DianeHB
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KurtisM

@Christian Yes, honestly although I would love to make the most of this year, I do not have the energy, knowledge or resources to do such big and grand moves on the chessboard of my life... yet.

 

All I can do lately is to take each day, hour and minute one step at a time. I am keeping myself composed by stripping away any fear or standard and just doing what I need to do and what I love to do as consciously and impartially as possible, knowing that they will add up and contribute to my long term direction.

Endurance is the only thing I can do right now. It sucks and I'm not that happy but I understand not every day is a great powerful "carpe diem" one.

I've taken the liberty these last few days to organize myself, my things and my ideas. 

Edited by KurtisM
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Wendy

December was a bang up month for me...maybe the best this century even...and then January took a little dive.  I had a session last week and asked where I was in my 5th Internal Monad - had I in fact moved from MAGNETIZATION so quickly into the negative pole of the 7th level...Collapse?  Well, I have indeed and though it's so great to get validation, the word Collapse is a bit scary to me as in my past I do have periods of total collapse!  BUT Michael did say I was moving rather rapidly and smoothly through my IM and I just reviewed the other stages of the 5th IM and I believe I have ended them all in the positive pole, unlike my others in this life time.  I am determined to keep it that way.  Knowing the MAGNETIZATION does not end when entering Collapse is a huge relief.

 

I've magnetized a couple wonderful things in the past few days that feel like total magic and I'm trying not to have anxiety about one of them falling through before the last hurdle is clear.  Can it really be that easy?  I am not used to this! 

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