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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: March 2019

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NickF

Thanks Troy. This is good to read after what has been a difficult past month. This part especially resonates:  “but they are also seeing some justice and accountability and revelation happening on a larger scale. This frees up a great deal of energy that has been locked in worry and anguish over world events and lets them focus on more personal and local concerns of well-being.” 

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CurvyWords

So validating, thank you Troy! I have been suuuuper frenetic as I've been flooded with all these ideas and plans for something I'm working on. Music and dancing has been helping a lot. Haha, my blog post about songs that define me is actually a result of me trying to calm my mind down and using music and dancing to do it! Spot on as always.

 

The point about the world at large moving towards Discrimination is so true. We see it with what's going on with MJ (Drake pulled his song featuring him from his upcoming tour). Also, on a much more niche scale. A couple of days ago there was a huge upset on Black Twitter.

 

There's a white "influencer" and party promoter who is a very controversial figure within the culture. She went on a podcast and threw very pointed shots at two prominent Black women also within the industry, insinuating that they were at fault for the backlash she's received for making racist comments. She was mad at them for saying that she doesn't "deserve" her prominent success within hip hop media. 

 

Much like her popularity, which is universally understood to be a result of white privilege, I pretty much expected Black men who idolize white girls with big butts to rally around and protect her from criticism (like always). Instead, I witnessed the tide shift completely with Black men and women alike holding support and encouragement for the Black women she talked down on. It was truly wild to see black men rally around these women in a way that is usually so rare, especially when attractive white women enter the conversation. It was nice.

 

And the funny part was, now relieved of my duty to protect the Black women, call out the Black men, drag the white girls who were talking shit, I actually found myself feeling compassionate towards HER. Watching her be fed to the social media wolves, I found that I couldn't partake in the take-down. I actually felt bad that she was being sex-shamed. Normally I would have been in full-on Identification (Negative Pole of Passion), in my feelings, calling people out, disgusted, upset, betrayed as I have so often been in these kinds of conversations.

 

Instead I was in Compassion (Positive Pole of Priest), able to take a more nuanced perspective of the situation. Able to relate to the white girl, and had a more expansive conversation about Feminism in general (is it okay to say that ANY woman has "slept her way" to where she is? etc).

 

Seeing Black men step up and draw a line in the sand and remind this girl that the women she was hating on had put in two decades of work and are actually black and thus connected to hip hop in a way she will never be and can never understand allowed me to see her perspective as well because I wasn't preoccupied with attacking her to defend said culture. Michael has said that the Priest connected to Essence knows that there are many Trruths. Being able to see her Truth, validate it, respect it, even if I didn't agree with it was so awesome!

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KurtisM

I resonate with this.

On the 1st I got an intense stomach flu from my family, and my body was purging that shit out like it never has before. I haven't even vomited for more than a whole decade prior. It felt like I was dying, but I tried to be as present as possible through it.

I'm not sure where things like intense stomach flus come from, but I am guessing that they may be triggered for a collective when that collective has taken way too much shit in in a way that is poisoning us.

Which reminds me that the Ms told @Stickyflames that humanity has a blindspot and 2020 turning point around INFO GLUT.

 

I have been working hard to move out of places of Inertia in my life that I was struggling with for a whole decade, and yesterday I just laid it all out on a metaphorical table.

My struggles with relating, with fantasizing, with physical affection, with sex, with being too much, with the disconnect between acting on speculation vs taking risks, with the struggle between enduring vs collapsing, with not knowing what the fuck is going on or where to go, with changing jobs, with this debt-based economy, with taking in so much info, with people who don't listen, with misunderstanding, with my sensitivity, with opening up, with not listening to my body, with trying to get everything done on my to do list before doing anything else, with chronic fatigue etc. etc. etc.

Then I just kind of let my body cry it out or shake it out and screamed into a few pillows and just danced. It was weird but fun.

 

I'd recommend you all to do the same sort of thing and write EVERYTHING you struggle with or care about on a piece of paper. You will see how much shit you take in and see where you need to or would most like to focus.

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KurtisM

Also, @Troy I think you made a mistake here:

 

"It helps that Observation Mode is coming into focus over April through June. This year is unique in that there will likely be a very brief dip into Subjectivity, the Negative Pole, but most are shifting quickly into Clarity over April. We will discuss this more for April’s report."

 

I think you mean "Surveillance", not "Subjectivity".

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Michèle

💚 I feel the relief. It feels so good. Thank you thank you thank you Troy and Michael.

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Rosario

Thank you Michael and Troy...these reports are so comforting and encouraging 💜 Loved the energetic art! :- ) 

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Jeroen

Thank you Troy/Michael. This past few days I have been feeling a mix of depression, anxiety, anger, and overwhelm. My life is not that difficult but the feelings were there nonetheless. This report resonates and is helpful.

 

"If a dance with yourself is not appealing to you, then a nice walk can help. We do not mean a rushed walk that you squeeze in and then use that to add more worry to your day. We mean take a walk. Let it be a gift of moments that you have a right to claim and own your right to enjoy it."

 

My daily walks were originally intended to be a gift to add to my days and also to keep the moving center engaged but lately it seems to be yet another thing I seem to be imposing on myself rather than something to enjoy and add energy into my days. This was a good reminder.

 

That last part of "Be your own present" was beautifully written. It brought in some tears.

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Nadine
1 hour ago, Jeroen said:

Thank you Troy/Michael. This past few days I have been feeling a mix of depression, anxiety, anger, and overwhelm. My life is not that difficult but the feelings were there nonetheless.

 

Same here, Jeroen. After my complete crash in December/January I thought I had made it out of the woods, but then around last thursday, after the Nexus, I suddenly felt desperate, anxious, frustrated and depressed again. I grieved and I cried a lot during the weekend. I didn't have any apparent reason for it, but like you said, the feelings were there nonetheless. I'm trying to stay focused on whatever good choices I'm making for myself. And I feel like I'm lighting up again. But yeah, it sucked.

Edited by Nadine
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Troy
2 hours ago, KurtisM said:

Also, @Troy I think you made a mistake here:

 

"It helps that Observation Mode is coming into focus over April through June. This year is unique in that there will likely be a very brief dip into Subjectivity, the Negative Pole, but most are shifting quickly into Clarity over April. We will discuss this more for April’s report."

 

I think you mean "Surveillance", not "Subjectivity".

 

EDITED/FIXED! Thanks for the heads up! A great example of that 80% clear channeling on the best of days! lol

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DianeHB
4 hours ago, Troy said:

Neither practice above is magical or miraculous or a quick fix. They are practices in connecting to yourself and using your tools and environment to bring YOU back into focus and presence.  Nearly all instances of such frenetic, frustrating and panicked states come from removing yourself from the equation of your participation in your life. Nearly all instances of such lethargic, distant, lost and depressed states come from removing yourself from the equation of participation in your life. These practices above help you to engage again and in playful enough ways that it helps remind you that you are alive and have a right to be a part of your life.

 

Wow, I think this is spot on. In the past two weeks I've both been lethargic/depressed for no reason AND somewhat anxious, so I did both exercises. I think they really helped. I've had trouble focusing on work/wanting to work, and I think this always happens when I start to think I have to be something other than me. Everything is done for the business rather than for me, and tasks become things I "have to" do rather than things I want to do. It's subtle but makes a big difference when I remember to include myself.

Edited by DianeHB
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Crystal
7 hours ago, CurvyWords said:

The point about the world at large moving towards Discrimination is so true. We see it with what's going on with MJ (Drake pulled his song featuring him from his upcoming tour). Also, on a much more niche scale. A couple of days ago there was a huge upset on Black Twitter.

 

There's a white "influencer" and party promoter who is a very controversial figure within the culture. She went on a podcast and threw very pointed shots at two prominent Black women also within the industry, insinuating that they were at fault for the backlash she's received for making racist comments. She was mad at them for saying that she doesn't "deserve" her prominent success within hip hop media. 

 

Much like her popularity, which is universally understood to be a result of white privilege, I pretty much expected Black men who idolize white girls with big butts to rally around and protect her from criticism (like always). Instead, I witnessed the tide shift completely with Black men and women alike holding support and encouragement for the Black women she talked down on. It was truly wild to see black men rally around these women in a way that is usually so rare, especially when attractive white women enter the conversation. It was nice.

 

And the funny part was, now relieved of my duty to protect the Black women, call out the Black men, drag the white girls who were talking shit, I actually found myself feeling compassionate towards HER. Watching her be fed to the social media wolves, I found that I couldn't partake in the take-down. I actually felt bad that she was being sex-shamed. Normally I would have been in full-on Identification (Negative Pole of Passion), in my feelings, calling people out, disgusted, upset, betrayed as I have so often been in these kinds of conversations.

@CurvyWords, thank you for posting that, as you hit on something that I've been noticing as well - when people feel more relaxed and less burdened, when there are others who are pitching in with help of some kind or another - they are free-er to act from positive poles. It's like taking off tight shoes, you can walk without always being conscious of how your feet hurt! When YOU aren't hurting so much you can start to feel compassion and understanding for people who otherwise would get under your skin and provoke you no end...And if this is becoming true on a wider level, now that we show that when we vote, we win! then that can only be a positive feedback loop.

 

Thank you so much, @Troy, for the energy reports (which I always wait for with bated breath!). It seems to me that the reports are, at least for now, so much less ominous in tone than they have been for a long time. In much of 2016 through the latter part of 2018 I kept reading the reports and thinking "oh god negative poles AGAIN! Difficulty AGAIN!" Honestly I think the November midterms were the turning point and now maybe with the Green New Deal and promising new Democratic politicians we are able to do better.

 

@KurtisM sorry to hear about your tummy flu, which sucks! 😞 I had a bout of the regular flu earlier in January (I got the flu shot, but still...) and had a truly awful flu just in time for Christmas 2017. I always wonder if that is some kind of purging of negativity myself...

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DianeHB

I just realized that China's rejection of foreign recyclables fits into this sliding to Discrimination in the world at large. I see this as a good thing to get people really thinking about solutions for our waste stream instead of just dumping it on another country.

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Nadine
18 hours ago, DianeHB said:

In the past two weeks I've both been lethargic/depressed for no reason AND somewhat anxious, so I did both exercises. I think they really helped.

 

Diane, weirdly enough, I couldn't fit myself in one of those descriptions either. I somehow manage to cover both, too. I danced a bit yesterday and then meditated and felt much better afterwards. I guess I need to keep doing this though for long term effects. I'll try some walking meditation on the weekend, too.

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Janet
On 3/13/2019 at 10:19 AM, Troy said:

Try putting on music that you love and moving gracefully in some way to this music.

I was quite amused to read this. Literally just moments before I opened this Energy Report to read it, I had been listening to some music that had a waltz rhythm and waltzing around the room. And it did indeed calm my restlessness and loosen some tension I had been trying to find a way to relieve. 

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Crystal
3 hours ago, DianeHB said:

I just realized that China's rejection of foreign recyclables fits into this sliding to Discrimination in the world at large. I see this as a good thing to get people really thinking about solutions for our waste stream instead of just dumping it on another country.

@DianeHB, I was thinking about that post-energy report, as well. It's a nice synchrony (or cosmic plan?) that China is no longer accepting recyclables at the same time Marie Kondo has her "Does it spark joy?" tidying up and purging program on Netflix. It's all well and good to recycle but since we can no longer offload all our plastic and what not to China where it's out of sight and out of mind, this might get us to "reduce and reuse" as well.

 

Marie Kondo, incidentally, seems to embody the positive pole of discrimination - maybe her life task is to manifest that in the world through her philosophy?

Edited by Crystal
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DianeHB
12 minutes ago, Crystal said:

@DianeHB, I was thinking about that post-energy report, as well. It's a nice synchrony (or cosmic plan?) that China is no longer accepting recyclables at the same time Marie Kondo has her "Does it spark joy?" tidying up and purging program on Netflix. It's all well and good to recycle but since we can no longer offload all our plastic and what not to China where it's out of sight and out of mind, this might get us to "reduce and reuse" as well.

 

LOL, I totally didn't realize Marie Kondo's work is all about Discrimination/Sophistication. It has become a meme outside of cleaning and organizing, too.

Edited by DianeHB
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Leela Corman

I found this really helpful too. I have been feeling both very anxious and somewhat depressed and stuck. Admitting that I have any anxiety at all has been very hard for me to do, and I'm still in the early stages of exploring it, if that's even the word for what I'm doing. But I suddenly started crying while reading the second suggestion, for feeling depressed and lethargic. So clearly that's the one for me. I'm having a weird time. I moved my studio into my house, really for the first time since moving to Florida seven years ago, and it was a really good decision. I'm so happy in there, and so much more productive. But it's also made my life smaller. Some days I forget to go outside, and it's beautiful and warm here. Right now I'm in my backyard, because I forced myself to be. 

 

I sense that for me personally, the second half of 2019 might be better than the first. But who knows. It's been a slog but ok. It's been interesting to watch themes emerge; again, I mean personal ones. For me, those seem to be around Boundaries and Freedom. Last year I deliberately put myself in some situations where I dropped my boundaries completely, and while I got a lot out of it, it was also painful and has left me with some burn marks. The Freedom is something I'm searching for a path to, trying to deal with some attachments I'd rather not have anymore. It's all so fucking slow. 

 

I agree that the 2018 midterms felt like a definitive fork in the road collectively, here! I'm relieved to hear that the "worst case" parallels aren't "here". Wonder what those are. Also there's a daytime owl hooting next yard over and the orange blossoms are out so I'm glad I stepped outside.

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WolfAmethyst
On 3/13/2019 at 12:19 PM, Troy said:

 

March 28th - 30th -- Energy Shift --  ENTHUSIASM/OPTIMISM -  A burst of enthusiastic and curious and optimistic energy looks to be generating among the masses in a way that might reach many of our students.

 

So the veto-override vote happens March 26th...

 

Something tells me he's going to try something really stupid around then (or maybe I'm just hoping the dream I had in late January really was foreshadowing his downfall):

 

DREAM ABOUT TRUMP'S (Literal) DOWNFALL (from Jan 25th)


Had a dream last night where Trump was in a tall, gleaming skyscraper with his cronies. They were all talking worriedly amongst themselves, and trying to figure out how to save themselves from the impact of both the government shutdown, and the Mueller investigation.  

With his customary swagger and braggadocio, Trump insisted he knew exactly what to do:  He pushed what looked like an ACME dynamite controller from a Looney Toons cartoon. (The kind that always ends up backfiring and injuring Wile E. Coyote when he tries to blow up the Roadrunner.)  As he finished pushing the T-shaped lever down, he smiled and proudly claimed this would provide everyone with access to an escape route.  

Instead, within moments, it caused two of the US’s own missiles to launch and strike the skyscraper in a direct hit. It exploded and collapsed, like when the towers fell on 9/11.  

Then I saw several high-ranking Americans who didn’t know whether Trump and / or Pence had survived the blast.  There was an immediate (and successful) rush to find Speaker Pelosi, as the next person the Presidential Order of Succession. That was when I woke up to the news that Roger Stone had been arrested and taken into custody.

 

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Leela Corman

A friend posted an article about the dire future we're facing due to climate change, from New York Magazine last October. Do you guys think that we might have diverged from some "worst-case" climate scenarios, or no?

 

Ugh.

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Crystal
14 minutes ago, Leela Corman said:

A friend posted an article about the dire future we're facing due to climate change, from New York Magazine last October. Do you guys think that we might have diverged from some "worst-case" climate scenarios, or no?

 

Ugh.

I think - for what it's worth - we may not be in the best case scenario, but we have diverged from the worst. Increasing numbers of voters say that climate change is an important issue for them, we have a 2020 candidate - Jay Inslee - who is running on a climate change platform, the Green New Deal is something that mainstream Democrats, not just college-town crunchy types, are proposing. I'm an optimist (Spiritualist Priest, how could I not be?) so I like to think that climate change being discussed and given importance by regular Democrats is a good sign.

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Leela Corman

@Crystal Yeah I agree. It's the hard science and the utter massiveness of the issue, with all of its global variations, that scares me. But I don't know how to deal with it and my tiny brain is not designed to process it at all!

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