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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: April 2019

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Evelin
1 hour ago, Stickyflames said:

Anyone else feel like this is the year they finally go insane?

 

Ha. I'm with @KurtisM, actually, have finally decided not to hold back, be myself, stretch out my soul and take risks. The more afraid I am, the more I want to go that road.

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Stickyflames
1 minute ago, Evelin said:

 

Ha. I'm with @KurtisM, actually, have finally decided not to hold back, be myself, stretch out my soul and take risks. The more afraid I am, the more I want to go that road.

Beautiful.

I feel like my insanity is a firm grip on my addiction to Powerlessness/ self oppression. This year feels like a real pressure and threat to that identity so I definitely feel sprinkles of that same enthusiasm when I see a little more.

I am addicted to being meek! Oh lord lord lord, is it time to move on yet?

 

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Ingun

Yes to everything mentioned above/and previous page. Dealing with everything and what not. I always feel like a little girl.

Edited by Ingun
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WolfAmethyst
On 4/5/2019 at 8:22 PM, Troy said:

 

April 19th - 22nd -- NEXUS --  CONVERGENCE -  A merging of parallels that are in the process of “cleaning up” patterns that have gone awry. This may translate into a need to, literally, clean your own home, address any outstanding issues in relationships, and generally sort through anything that could use some sorting.

 

HELPFUL THOUGHTS OVER APRIL:

 

YOU ARE NOT FORCED; YOU ARE THE FORCE - You are the force in your life that determines its direction. You are the force that contributes to the flow of collective forces that you witness from what seems to be a distance. What you see at a distance is a part of your force and not something to avoid, dismiss, or reject. To reject the collective force diminishes your own force and to withhold your force from the collective flow is to muddy the waters of that flow more than you may think.  Remembering that you are not forced to participate, but that you are a force that chooses how to participate, can be helpful when you find yourself in retreat and defeat.


Is everybody in / connected to Paris (either in this life, or a past one) safe?  Are all of you o.k.?

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Cong
24 minutes ago, WolfAmethyst said:

Is everybody in / connected to Paris (either in this life, or a past one) safe?  Are all of you o.k.?

 For those who are in pain and shock, I feel you.

 

I wonder if this serves as a symbol for the collapse of organizational religion...as Michael indicated in one of the earlier energy reports.

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Tincha
6 minutes ago, Cong said:

I wonder if this serves as a symbol for the collapse of organizational religion...as Michael indicated in one of the earlier energy reports.

 

That‘s what I thought, too.

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WolfAmethyst
12 minutes ago, Cong said:

I wonder if this serves as a symbol for the collapse of organizational religion...as Michael indicated in one of the earlier energy reports.


i'm thinking the same, too.  

Even for the essential renovations that were in-progress when fire broke out, international private fundraising efforts were the only way to pay for them.  Apparently the cathedral is actually owned by "the French state" rather than by the Catholic church.  

 

Adding how much the building's stonework was already weakened by 850 years of time, ground shifting, wars, acid rain, etc. I'm not sure it will be possible to salvage something that could be rebuilt into a structurally-sound house of worship.

A good thread about how construction techniques and fire (prevention & spread) intersect in old churches can be found here, if anybody uses twitter
https://twitter.com/GreggFavre/with_replies
 

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John
46 minutes ago, WolfAmethyst said:


Is everybody in / connected to Paris (either in this life, or a past one) safe?  Are all of you o.k.?

 

I'm saddened by the damage and loss, and (while not a Parisian myself) I feel for those who are personally affected by the destruction.

 

In reflecting on this, I also find myself grateful (in a bitter-sweet way) that my family and I got to visit Paris this past fall and see the cathedral in person.  So, as for my being o.k. -- I would say I'm doing well enough, all things considered.

 

23 minutes ago, Cong said:

I wonder if this serves as a symbol for the collapse of organizational religion...as Michael indicated in one of the earlier energy reports.

 

I don't know.  It certainly would be a powerful symbol if that were the case.  Regardless, a pity that a work of art (and a bit of history) was so badly damaged, or perhaps even destroyed (at the moment it seems uncertain if any of the building's structure can be saved and restored.)

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Becca the Student

@Cong I was wondering the same re: Notre Dame. It's a shame that such a beautiful work of architecture has been so badly damaged, but I have to admit I don't have the attachment to it others do. I was never able to visit it, but I've heard it was gorgeous.

 

It does seem like powerful symbolism, though, especially with the timing; fire is spiritually cleansing, isn't it? Though Notre Dame is beautiful, it's also linked intrinsically with Young Soul religious and patriarchal values. When I saw the picture of the fire this morning, I suddenly had a vision of a future day, where a newly-rebuilt Notre Dame is unveiled: it looked like just as beautiful, but updated -- its stained glass windows were all solar panels, and some lovely roof farms on top made it look lush and green. I got the sense that it helped provide clean energy and fresh produce to the city.

 

The image came so immediately and lasted in my mind so long that I wonder if I might have accidentally tapped into a future probability. Or perhaps a parallel we're merging with has already begun updating Notre Dame to be this optimistic, earth-friendly vision of community, and the devastating fire today is a shortcut to getting us on the same page? Or maybe none of the above, and my imagination just runs wild sometimes. Who knows.

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Leela Corman

I have a very particular reaction to medieval art and architecture, which is that I ways get caught up in thoughts of the individual craftspeople who made them. They guy who carved the gargoyles, the illuminator, etcetera. I start to wonder what their daily inner lives were like. This is because I spend much of my time making art as well. The intimacy of the act in contrast with the public destiny of the work is my daily life. So I am thinking not about the Catholic church, which can burn in the hell I wish existed, but about all the hands that built Notre Dame. I have been there multiple times. Despite my lifelong raging hatred of all organized religion, I love spiritual spaces, and despite my particular antipathy to Christianity (I'm Jewish and very sensitive to proselytizers), I especially love medieval cathedrals.

 

Mainly I'm shocked at the destruction of this icon. Much like the twin towers for NYC and the pyramids for Cairo, the towers and arches of Notre Dame are visible from so many vantage points in Paris. It's hard to grasp.

Edited by Leela Corman
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DanielaS

For me this doesn't feel like a symbol for the collapse of organized religion. But I guess symbols are meaningful to whoever gives them meaning so there is more than one truth. Similar to  @Leela Corman , I feel so sad for the art and history lost. I feel like if this were a symbol for the collapse of organized religion for me, it would feel "right." This doesn't feel "right." It feels like a loss of irreplaceable worth.

 

I am also afraid for the conspiracy theories that will spring out of this, that this wasn't an accident, and it will be used to incite Islamophobia. Another Reichstag fire.

Edited by DanielaS
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Sam K

It struck me as emblematic of the time we're living through in general; great damage and great spectacle, with many irreplaceable things lost.  Ultimately, though, the greater portion was saved.  The main structure remained intact.

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Ingun

A professor in architecture said that Notre Dame is probably Europes strongest christian symbol after the St. Peters church in Rome, since a lot of symbolism of christianity is kind of vowen into that. The other is that it's also a French symbol in that ND is a church used for crowning and funerals. The third is that ND is a kind of signature for all of those travelling to Paris, as part of the flow of tourism. So I think there's some symbolism in this speaking  on different levels to all of us, even though I personally feel very detached to all of this.

Edited by Ingun
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Nadine

Nexus is coming.

 

I feel like I have this weird divide in my body right now, with my head/mind dealing with the usual Nexus related foginess and tiredness, while the rest of my body is SUPER energized and giddy (in a good way though). Still, it feels like body and head/mind are having completely seperate experiences right now. 

 

I did some thorough spring cleaning on the weekend, so that is definitely in line with the Nexus.

 

Had a weird nightmare today where I was in Rwanda during the first days of the genocide in 1994. I was in an UN quarter and we knew people were being slaughtered outside and we needed to find a way out of the country to survive. It was horrible. I'd prefer a sorting dream.

Edited by Nadine
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Mike Cleverly

I felt sick with the ongoing loss witnessed yesterday in Paris. I've always loved the style of Gothic architecture featured in the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, though curiously I never liked the style of the squared off towers in the front facade, I love the style at the eastern end of the Cathedral with its flowing arches and the incorporation of hundreds of circles and arches. Well it turns out it fits very well with information Michael gave me:

 

One session said this about past lives my wife and I had regarding art and architecture:

 

Quote

"...several lifetimes each were dedicated to the art of architecture and sculpture across the 1100's and 1200's."  "Briefly, we will say that the architects and sculptors were involved with many of the Gothic structures around France."

 

I had a follow up session to ask for more information on this and some other lives. Here's what came back:

 

Quote

 

[MEntity]: The most notable works left behind of the architect and sculptor ("you" were the architect, and "Victoria," the sculptor) would be of the Notre Dame Cathedral. Though work was done on two others, it was of this cathedral that there were "personal" touches included that were, at the time, hidden in the works as signatures, so to speak.

 

We would suggest searching through any documentary or written exploration of any "secrets" or "mysteries" of the cathedral to see if any trigger an Instinctive knowing. 

 

Many TLE students were around at this time in France, as it was considered a rather peaceful and restful break while amidst some modern amenities at the time.

 

Many of our students gravitate toward areas of peace and prosperity as a means for studies, once the Mature and Old Soul Ages come into realization.

 

 

This felt right at the time I first read it, but I'm even more sure of it now. When I heard the news at work yesterday, I felt sick and just... hollowed out inside. Its the very same feeling I felt when I read that a building in Pompeii had collapsed, destroying all the murals inside after having survived the previous 2000 years. Its the same feeling I felt when I first properly read and understood Geraldine's first session tackling our humanity's past and the transfer to our current home. Its a grief for a loss felt in a deep part of me that doesn't have its own voice. 

 

After doing a bit of research, it turns out that a project such as Notre Dame doesn't have just one architect. It was begun in the 1160s and largely finished a century later. Many architects would have worked together over their particular areas of expertise. The Eastern end was constructed first, and the Western end with its square towers was completed last, in a different style as architectural fashions changed. My previous incarnation obviously sees these towers as not being in keeping with the earlier work!

 

I had been planning to go and visit Notre Dame. It was high on my shortlist of places to visit, along with Pompeii. I am devastated that I won't be able to walk inside it and marvel at it for many many years to come. 

Edited by Mike Cleverly
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Bogi
4 hours ago, Nadine said:

Nexus is coming.

 

I feel like I have this weird divide in my body right now, with my head/mind dealing with the usual Nexus related foginess and tiredness, while the rest of my body is SUPER energized and giddy (in a good way though). Still, it feels like body and head/mind are having completely seperate experiences right now. 

 

I did some thorough spring cleaning on the weekend, so that is definitely in line with the Nexus.

 

Had a weird nightmare today where I was in Rwanda during the first days of the genocide in 1994. I was in an UN quarter and we knew people were being slaughtered outside and we needed to find a way out of the country to survive. It was horrible. I'd prefer a sorting dream.

Yes, It has been about 2-3 days that I started feeling very up and down, emotional clearing.

Yesterday I started crying my heart out in the shower in the evening. Like suddenly I was tossed back into Grief. But then I got relieved, and bounced back.

 

Also, I finally cleaned a sore spot in my room, which bothered me for some time.

 

Yes, Nexus is coming, and I would like to make the best of it. BIG clearing. Also, clearing makes finally space for new things. Slowly I am circling back to feel fun in my life, and feel excited by it.

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Juni
4 hours ago, Nadine said:

Nexus is coming.

 

I feel like I have this weird divide in my body right now, with my head/mind dealing with the usual Nexus related foginess and tiredness, while the rest of my body is SUPER energized and giddy (in a good way though). Still, it feels like body and head/mind are having completely seperate experiences right now. 

 

I did some thorough spring cleaning on the weekend, so that is definitely in line with the Nexus.

Yes, this description exactly. Brain so tired, body so wired.

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Wendy


Nexus is coming...sounds a lot like Winter is coming as I read it here 🤣

 

I was "wish I was dead" down yesterday.  I kept remembering Ms words to me about spiraling down, just remembering that it is temporary and that I have lots more good days than bad ones.  When I saw the news about Notre Dame I immediately felt sad and sick about it and wondered if picking up on it energetically had something to do with my horrible mood.  Then right on back of that thought was the thought that it's a huge symbol of Christian patriarchy so who am I know to know what's best for the world?

 

Earlier this month I made a new foray into online dating and after making phone contact with one person I quickly recoiled and recognize it as such.  I feel resentment over any *loss* of my time.  I feel I don't have the time and energy to fully participate in my existing relationships,  and I'm not willing to put in this time to find a mate that way.  I know that if I met someone who really sparked my interest I'd be off to the races with that but I still feel so protective of *my time*.  Also I notice that I feel like this to some extent with all my relationships and that's really troubling to me.  I tell myself I need my energy to continue the life rebuilding that's been the focus of my life these many years, but how true is it?  I don't know. 

 

Also I'm looking forward to Kondo-ing my life.  After I moved 2 months ago I started feeling like lots of my stuff doesn't really fit me anymore.  I know longer desire to be surrounded by things I've loved for decades but don't know what I want there instead.  It's a very strange feeling indeed and I hope that this coming Convergence will bring some healed parallels into my life that will clarify my desire and help with new direction.  I suppose I should get sorting but I'm also finding that I have less energy that usual for cleaning and sorting.  I tend to love cleaning, but lately just wiping the counter feels overwhelming at times.

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Heidi

Another rant/update: I'm still sick...since April 4th. I thought I was getting better, but then fever and chills came back so I went to the doctor and found out I have Influenza on top of pneumonia. I've seriously never been this sick for this long, ever. My husband has had to take a leave from work to help with the kids. 

 

So I must definitely be one of those that has fallen into Surveillance for most of the month. I really hope I can participate in the world again soon, but this feels like it's going to be a slow recovery/waking up. I had a dream last night that I was back to work at my old job, begrudgingly - maybe that's a good sign.

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Moonfeather
6 hours ago, Heidi said:

Another rant/update: I'm still sick...since April 4th. I thought I was getting better, but then fever and chills came back so I went to the doctor and found out I have Influenza on top of pneumonia. I've seriously never been this sick for this long, ever. My husband has had to take a leave from work to help with the kids. 

Wow, @Heidi. This sounds serious. I'm concerned. Focus on you. Sending you love and healing vibes through this message.

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Evelin
9 hours ago, Juni said:

Yes, this description exactly. Brain so tired, body so wired.

 

@Nadine and @Juni, same with me. Body is like a cat on a hot tin roof, can't read, barely enough mental focus to work. Listening to heaps of music to process whatever this is.

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NickG
On 4/5/2019 at 8:22 PM, Troy said:

YOU ARE NOT FORCED; YOU ARE THE FORCE

 

Did Michael rip off Star Wars? 😂

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Bobby
26 minutes ago, NickG said:

 

Did Michael rip off Star Wars? 😂

 

Can't you just hear them queueing the music in the back ground as they said that?

 

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CurvyWords

I've heard other people talk about weird feelings and dreams around the Nexus but this is my first time experiencing it! Or being conscious of experiencing it. Last night I ran to 7/11 for some snacks and I swear I thought I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like pure dissociation. Like I was there, in my car, but also almost not? Everything had a surreal, immaterial quality to it. I briefly forgot the names of things like "street" "man" "car". Like I knew what these things were but there were a good five to ten minutes that if you tried to talk to me I wouldn't be able to tell you what they were called. It was absolutely bizarre!

 

Granted I knew it's Nexus shit so I wasn't alarmed, it only lasted a few minutes but the whole rest of my night had this weird vibe to it that I really can't explain. I fell asleep and had super vivid "thinking" dreams. One of which involved how to rehabilitate online social media spaces so people of differing beliefs can exist simultaneously without it turning into a complete shitshow.

 

Anyway, Beyonce's Netflix documentary about her world-stopping performance at Coachella last year comes out today so all is well for the most part. 🙂

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