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Troy

ENERGY REPORT: April 2019

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Rosario

Wow guys...our corrupt narcissist ex-president Alan García shot himself this morning and died, before his arrest. This is HUGE! I pity him so much  & and all that, but I'm kind of relieved. 

 And all of our ex-presidents are in jail now. The old unhealthy regime  is F A  L  L  I N G. 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-47965867

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Connor

LOL @Rosario that is wonderful! I wish more world leaders would kill themselves.

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Ingun

Some people prefer to hang out on the astral.... sitting on the fence watching the show down here....

Also it seems that "cleaning up" goes on in so many ways.... over 50 bokoharam soldiers in nigeria was killed yesterday.

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Bogi
On 4/6/2019 at 2:22 AM, Troy said:

April 19th - 22nd -- NEXUS --  CONVERGENCE -  A merging of parallels that are in the process of “cleaning up” patterns that have gone awry. This may translate into a need to, literally, clean your own home, address any outstanding issues in relationships, and generally sort through anything that could use some sorting.

 

I was just thinking that this period 19th April till 22nd April falls exactly on Easter in Western Christianity. 

So, on 19th April things are supposed to die (clean out), you take your time on the next 2 days with cleaning, and on the 22nd April you can resurrect.

 

Today, I feel like grieving again. It is definitely part of some emotional cleaning and clearing. Yesterday I felt more okay because I was okay with the changes, I was in the Flow.

But today, I am again resisting some changes, to address outstanding issues in relationships because it is painful. I am alwasy grieving when I feel like letting go of someone or a possible future with that someone that will most probably never come anymore.  

 

Michael says that "let it land where it lands and nurture it from there". It is easier said than done.

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Luciana Flora
1 hour ago, Bogi said:

Michael says that "let it land where it lands and nurture it from there". It is easier said than done.

@Bogi

It's always easier said than done.


that's why I said in another topic that I find it difficult to follow advice even when I agree with them ..


I always think that what Michael says is quite practical is useful .. but at the time I'm going to do it rarely seems so easy .. Mainly if it's something very different from what I used to do ..

 

 

An example in one of Fearless Living's sessions Michael told me:

 

MEntity: Luciana, it can help you because you can confidently speak about yourself in this way, you can confidently speak about yourself in other ways. Try speaking about yourself in other ways now. Take a risk. Celebrate yourself. Tell yourself what you love about yourself. Share with others what is RIGHT and STRONG about you. Let yourself have the truth of your courage and beauty and kindness in the same way you are confidently let yourself know your failings and your weaknesses and insecurities. Take a risk and see if you can expand on what you speak of so confidently about yourself.


This seems simple, is something that obviously would suit me. but I still find it difficult to put into practice

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Bogi
3 hours ago, Luciana Flora said:

Let yourself have the truth of your courage and beauty and kindness in the same way you are confidently let yourself know your failings and your weaknesses and insecurities. Take a risk and see if you can expand on what you speak of so confidently about yourself.


This seems simple, is something that obviously would suit me. but I still find it difficult to put into practice

 

Well, from my point of view, I can see that you are already doing it even though you yourself do not see it that way.

You are already representing your courage and beauty and kindness even when you are talking about your insecurities.

 

It is constant road, did step by step. Give yourself credit because you are progressing. And that is true even when right now you do not see it that way.

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Maureen

This... from Bloomberg in regards to the Mueller Report:

Special Counsel Robert Mueller said he lacked confidence to clear Donald Trump of obstruction of justice but suggested Congress could take action on at least 10 instances where the president sought to interfere with the probe.

“We concluded that Congress has authority to prohibit a president’s corrupt use of his authority in order to protect the integrity of the administration of justice," he said in the report sent to Congress on Thursday.

Mueller said acts of possible obstruction include “discouragement of cooperation with the government and suggestions of possible future pardons.” The 448-page report cited actions including Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey and efforts to have former Attorney General Jeff Sessions take control of the investigation.

“Our investigation found multiple acts by the president that were capable of exerting undue influence over law enforcement investigations, including the Russia-interference and obstruction investigations," according to the report. “The president engaged in a series of targeted efforts to control the investigation.”

 

But Mueller’s report raises new questions about whether House Democrats will intensify their investigative efforts -- and perhaps move toward an impeachment inquiry despite earlier statements by leaders to the contrary.

 

Reminded me of this....

 

April 19th - 22nd -- NEXUS --  CONVERGENCE -  A merging of parallels that are in the process of “cleaning up” patterns that have gone awry. This may translate into a need to, literally, clean your own home, address any outstanding issues in relationships, and generally sort through anything that could use some sorting.

 

image.png

 

 

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Leela Corman

Checking in on us all. I am definitely feeling "nexus-y" but I can't really articulate how. I feel energy shifting for sure. I also just returned from an art residency on the West Coast, on Saturday. I was supposed to come back Sunday but on Thursday I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so strongly that I needed to change my flight to Saturday. I just didn't want to be away from my partner and kid an extra day, just so I could go to the art museum and be alone another day. But it wouldn't let me go. I couldn't get back to sleep until I'd changed my ticket. So who knows, maybe Essence was trying to protect me from something or maybe I just felt guilty being away while Tom had a bad cold 🙂

 

Today I feel...different. I had a lot of dreams about people I have intense feelings about, like my child and one of my entity mates; what I was wearing figured prominently in one and being totally naked in an unlikely situation figured heavily in another. In the first dream I was wearing possibly the LEAST likely clothes I'd actually wear, in front of someone I'd be embarrassed to wear them for in waking life: a tie-dyed tshirt and crisply ironed khakis that were too big for me (if you know me this is hilarious; I wear almost nothing but tight black minidresses with nice leggings and fancy boots), and in the other I was naked with someone I am very much not intimate with in waking life, and they were treating me for some sort of health issue, kind of lecturing me (in an interesting way) on the ways in which they were healing me. In the dream there was nothing weird about the fact that we were both undressed and it was totally "medical", for lack of a better word. Also dreamed about having to repeatedly keep my daughter and myself from slipping down an endless drain in the gutter.

 

I weirdly feel like there's been a shift into something "better", am I crazy? Or just tired?

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KurtisM

I cleaned and sorted through stuff internally and externally during the Nexus.

In particular, I reengaged an old story of mine and have made immense progress on it in this last week. I'm excited and trying my best to pace myself to avoid writer's block.

 

Also I've been finding myself relapse into old habits/patterns of pushing too hard on a singleminded focus. So I'm trying to pull back and divert towards new activities often to upkeep my passion.

 

I have found more options for a new job but haven't done as much research as I'd like to. There's still so much built up resistance to job change... but overall I feel good.

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Bogi
59 minutes ago, KurtisM said:

There's still so much built up resistance to job change...

 

Same here. LOL.

I am still considering directions. I am not even close to a decision. It is okay. I am still collecting and sorting myself. Spring is about connection, the activation of agreements come a bit later in the summer.

It has been an emotional up and down, but I think I am okay.

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CurvyWords

@Leela Corman I literally screamed thinking of that tie dye outfit, literally the uniform of the nice older lady who totally overshares while talking your ear off at the farmer's market amirite?

 

This past week has been absolutely hellish for me. Last month Michael told me I was beginning to explore -Otiose and I, still riding the high of +Freedom was all "this will be a breeze! how bad can it be?!" TURNS OUT IT CAN BE REAL REAL BAD. I was in the darkest depths of rational thinking and over-analyzing before I even noticed it. Obsessively journaling about every decision and the decisions that shoot off from those decisions and the pros and cons of the mini-decisions of those decisions, it was an absolute mess.

 

Yesterday, I had an old Tumblr follower randomly reach out to me and I was so excited, only to start talking to her and get almost 1,000 words about her suicidal ideation in explicit detail. I tried helping her (even suggested the teachings, which I rarely do, because it was obvious she was caught in Self Destruction), as well as Jose Stevens' "Transforming Your Dragons" only for her to hit me with 2,000 words this time about how she was absolutely beyond hope. I felt so gross, I was so upset that this virtual stranger would essentially turn me into an open sewer to dump all of their problems into just because she feels I'm her "big sister in her head". It was a big lesson in boundaries for me, and I gently told her that I wasn't interested in a friendship with her if this would be the foundation of it. That part of my own growth process was being honest about what I could and could not take on and help others with.

 

She apologized and deleted her Twitter which was also kind of sad to me, just realizing that I have no use to people sometimes unless I'm going to be this black hole that just absorbs all their problems and she's not the first person who would rather disappear the second I assert my need to take up equal space in my relationships. I realize this is more her problem than mine but it made me feel bad. I also didn't do any spiritual hygiene so all of her energy was tied up with mine and I spiraled quickly into my own despair, and had some really scary thoughts that I recognized probably weren't mind and gently sent her energy back to her to be dealt with.

 

Anyway, I'm in the dark place. Send snacks and good thoughts. Love you guys ❤️ 

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Juni
11 hours ago, Leela Corman said:

Today I feel...different.

 

I weirdly feel like there's been a shift into something "better", am I crazy? Or just tired?

I feel different too. I can't even say how, but I seem to be holding myself differently and I feel lighter somehow. I don't remember any of my dreams in detail, except in one I was having an energetic discussion about how I wanted things to go and I was trying to persuade this blonde woman to make it happen.

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michael_k

@CurvyWords I wouldn't feel guilty about the Tumblr follower with issues, even if their mental state sounds dire. I've been in some pretty dark places and have looked to help on the internet to guide me in the past as well, but one thing I wouldn't do is just dump all my baggage on one individual like that. There are forums around where people with depression/suicidal thoughts can discuss their issues in detail with others facing crisis or those willing to help, and she could have gone there instead. I honestly couldn't imagine reaching out to one of my idols with such personal feelings about myself straight off the bat, and if she was unwilling to take your suggestions seriously in order to help herself, it makes her sound like she wouldn't listen to advice anyway.

 

If I were in her place and wanted to discuss something, I'd probably come from a more grateful angle first if your advice had previously helped me on Tumblr, and then ease into the issues more slowly without being so intense about things, then, actually read the material suggested and say a thank you. It's not a kind thing to just throw all your problems at another person unless they are an actual therapist or taking calls for a suicide/crisis hotline and it's normal for you to feel put out at being on the receiving end of that kind of treatment.

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Crystal
8 hours ago, Juni said:

I feel different too. I can't even say how, but I seem to be holding myself differently and I feel lighter somehow. I don't remember any of my dreams in detail, except in one I was having an energetic discussion about how I wanted things to go and I was trying to persuade this blonde woman to make it happen.

 

Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren is proposing reams and reams of Mature Soul-like policies (she wants to forgive student loan debt by taxing the mega-rich. Look her up, she's fantastic) and is pushing hard for impeaching T**mp. She's also blonde. Hmm.

 

On my own front, I've been doing lots of cleaning and also really, really wanting to (though don't have the $ yet) redecorate, which is in the planning stage. I've been "Marie Kondo'ing" my place like whoa. Ordered one of those Thred Up bags to give away clothes that are still good but no longer fit.

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RachelL
On 4/5/2019 at 8:22 PM, Troy said:

April 19th - 22nd -- NEXUS --  CONVERGENCE -  A merging of parallels that are in the process of “cleaning up” patterns that have gone awry. This may translate into a need to, literally, clean your own home, address any outstanding issues in relationships, and generally sort through anything that could use some sorting.

 

Besides cleaning my home, I can definitely feel myself sorting through cording- the random urge to contact someone with whom I had broken contact (may be picking up on the yearning on their part), then a pang of regret concerning another relationship, only to have them show up in my dream that night massaging my head LOL. 

 

The relief I felt today may or may not have been the result of the end of the Convergence. All I know is that I'm grateful to be feeling better. I've been fighting against myself, but there was a break in the clouds today. I could enjoy the beautiful sunset and the smooth notes of a trumpet sounding in the distance ⛅

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CurvyWords

@michael_k Thank you! I feel a lot better about it today, thankfully. You're right, though, I wasn't the person and that wasn't the place for what she was going through. I wish her the best but I am happy I was firm in my boundaries. 

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Leela Corman

@CurvyWords Hahaha! It was the kind of outfit I like to call "Mathematics PhD candidate in Cambridge, MA weekend wear". And I would never be caught dead in it.

 

It sounds like you handled this boundary situation really well. I admire that. It's not that easy to state boundaries with people who are so miserable! At least, it's not for me, and I get into some situations because of it.

 

So on the final day of the nexus my daughter broke her arm on a field trip, and we all spent the evening in the same pediatric ER where our first daughter died. But it felt healing, mostly, because this time we were there for such a common childhood injury, and it was so fixable, and we walked out of there as a family of three, with a living child, who I got to take home and feed ice cream in bed. I definitely had a moment of being deeply, biochemically triggered in the ER hallway, because the body remembers trauma very effectively. But I was just so elated that it was only her arm. She's bummed out about it and it's no fun for her but she'll be fine.

 

I wish I could say that some order has been restored in relationships of mine that could use it (from my perspective). But I still do feel slightly different. I look forward to May's report for insight into this Nexus, and to anything any of you experienced.

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AnnaD

My partner and I are incrementally packing up our stuff into boxes and shifting them into my house. We move there hopefully mid June. I realise now that this stuff especially the art, brought me much joy and I was depressed last night at how clinical the house we live in now looks. I have a lot of random arts and crafts stuff, op shop stuff, and to see it off the walls is depressing. I look forward to decorating my house when that time comes. 

I am also pondering someone in my life who is self destructive, and I cannot tell if it is passive or active self destruction. The situation they are in is heartbreaking. I can only listen, it seems while their fortune takes turns on its rollercoaster. I am terrified by the seeming passiveness of their response to a certain outcome, but maybe I have only half of the information on their actual scenario, and maybe they are selectively telling me what "I need to hear" without the logistics. Either way, their scenario looks not great.

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CurvyWords

THANK GOD THIS HELLISH MONTH IS OVER! WE'RE FREE!

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DianeHB

I don’t know about you guys, but this month started kind of crappy for me. I participated as a panelist for a small entrepreneur conference last Saturday. I felt a little nervous about it, but nothing significant until about 15 minutes before I was supposed to go up. I had a full on anxiety attack and none of my usual tools (tapping, Reiki) worked. I made it through and people thought it was great, but I have mixed feelings about what it brought up for me. The extreme anxiety also seemed to have worn out my adrenals, because I had no energy for the next several days and could barely get it together enough to do a small amount of work. I’m better today, but still have some nondescript anxiety and need to lie low. 

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Rosario

I'm sorry Diane!! Hugs.... ❤️ 

Since last week I've been crying a lot ...out of sadness, anger, tiredness, fatigue and some joy, thankfully! ...Yoga,  music & my online friends are helping me get through my days. Yesterday I skipped class for the first time in a long time. Ughh, I just want uni to end already!! I also wanted to lie down all day...

I've been getting triggered by the clutter at home (yeah, I'm the meme: "no one helps me in this house!!!") , my brother's reactivity & bratty attitude, my mom's neediness & hoarding...ahhh!! 😢 

 

 

 

 

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DianeHB

I should add that I also recognized in the middle of all that anxiety that I “loved” it and I want to do more speaking and teaching. I put “love” in quotes because I’m not sure how those two emotions could coexist, but they did. I have mixed feelings because I’m seeing how much I doubt my own voice (which was the cause of the anxiety attack) and the work it’s going to take to get where I want to go. It’s about time I tackled it though. 

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CurvyWords

@DianeHB This isn't as crazy as it sounds, it terrifying you but also being something you wanted more of. Sometimes I think when we have intense emotions it's almost like we're clearing it out, bringing it up to the surface to be felt, addressed, dealt with and released once and for all. I used to have paralyzing terror with Michael, I'd get really anxious whenever I'd get a channeling session and I would be too scared to listen to the recordings back. Eventually I dealt with it and it feels like I have so much more room energetically for them. All in all, I think your perception is spot on and happy tackling, D!

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