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ENERGY REPORT - May 2019

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CurvyWords

"May has a strong energy of support for self-care, self-reflection, clarity, and calm recollection of yourself."

1E01RR8.jpg

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Moonfeather
On 5/20/2019 at 4:40 AM, Johanne said:

@Moonfeather if  petsetting means taking care of animal, I don't quite understand why you could not! It is great that you found that nice lady. You will be like a cat and fall on your feet 🙂 , I am sure of that. Let us know how that adventure will turn out ... it is like a suspense ... 

Thanks for caring @Johanne. I should have researched before I went. I did check online about what happens once I am denied and I saw plenty of stories that are similar. I didn't have my return ticket booked out of the UK yet either so I probably would have been turned away even if I had just said I was visiting.  I am over the initial shock (thought it was a rough 24 hours) and am relaxing in a hotel room in Calais until Wednesday when I go to a place near here where I can work in exchange for room and board and can stay until June 12. I then booked a catsit in Fellbach Germany starting June 13. So, yes, I did land on my feet (though the fall was pretty tough). there is plenty to do on the European Continent, plus Scandinavia. 

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Bogi
3 hours ago, CurvyWords said:

"May has a strong energy of support for self-care, self-reflection, clarity, and calm recollection of yourself."

1E01RR8.jpg

 

I can definitely see myself in all of the above roles. LOL. 😆

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Leela Corman

@Moonfeather A friend told me that his band was denied entry into the UK and deported back to the continent while on tour from the US. They ended up touring as the opening act for a bigger name punk band and all was well. I hope your time goes as smoothly!

 

Okay everyone, nexus check-in time. I appear to have been previously existing in a parallel where the show Pose did not exist, and now I have landed in a parallel in which it does, and if you are reading this, you are here too, welcome, category is, I totally love this show but how did I not know about it before?!

 

Also I definitely feel like a bunch of stuff merged. Hoooooooly shit. Talk to me, people.

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CurvyWords

@Leela Corman I'm losing my mind so you're probably right! Either that, or I'm PMSing. A ton of body shame has been hitting me these past few days and it seemed a little out of nowhere. I thought this was supposed to be a fun Nexus why does everything suck! What's going on over there? 

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Juni

 As is becoming the norm, I had two nights of super weird dreams and now I have a nasty cold.  It's  exhausting.

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Wendy

@Leela Corman funny you mention Pose b/c I never saw it before and it showed up on my Netflix page yesterday.  I looked at the trailer and it didn't grab me but now I will check it out!

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Leela Corman

@CurvyWords that sucks, I'm sorry to hear that. Stay strong. Body shame is a horrible weapon.

 

I definitely feel a sense of "new" stuff being "dumped" into "here". I don't always but it feels categorical this time. In my personal life this has manifested in a very strong pull to move back to New England, like I've said upthread. Like suddenly a bunch of connections and possibilities just "lit up" up there. It's made me wake up to a lot of things where we currently live that I either don't like or that outright terrify me. I was trying to kind of not look directly at it before. Now I have to. I'm also feeling a strong desire to shift some things in my career. No big changes, I just 1) don't want to teach at UF anymore, and 2) want to find a way to take all the powers I've gained access to over the past decade and apply them to new ways of teaching. I need to find a way to generate more income for my family and I want to do it with some online teaching and consultation for people who want to go deep in their projects. I turn out to be really good at what I jokingly call "comics therapy", with very serious students who want to tell big stories, and I'd like to do that more. That's very different from teaching a weekly comics class, which I actually hate doing and am bad at. I like that, and I like teaching short intensive workshops in comics. So I want to turn my attention to these, and find some better illustration teaching gig back up in the Northeast and get my family out of this gun-soaked barely post-segregation developer-beholden hot mess. I love Gainesville, it's an oasis, but it's exhausting to live in an oasis. I don't want to take part in it any longer. Let people who are from here deal with its problems and let me go back up to where there are big art museums and subways and people speaking a million languages, where teachers aren't allowed to carry guns into their classrooms and there aren't neo-Nazis in the woods outside of town. Add to that the gender issues here seem more antiquated, I mean between straight people - there's a great LGBT community here but I can see a lot of issues with how masculinity and femininity are dealt with here ("slutshaming", so-called feminist men who turn out to be just as fucked up by toxic masculinity as their dads) and I'm worried about my daughter being subjected to shit like sexist clothing regulations, purity culture, and abstinence education. Fuck that shit, she's getting a vibrator and a pile of condoms and a browser window open to Scarleteen when she's ready. And I don't want her to grow up saying "Yes ma'am" like she's someone's fuckin' underling, nor do I want her to be polite, especially to men. I'm realizing how much the culture down here is dominated by a kind of handsy old white man and I am not staying for it.

 

Sadly I also love my band and this scrappy punk town but sooner or later a Jew's gotta escape. Oh did I mention it's 100 degrees here every day this week? This isn't normal, not even for August here.

Edited by Leela Corman
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Leela Corman

(p.s. I love all my friends here but like I said, oasis)

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Martha
12 hours ago, Leela Corman said:

@Moonfeather A friend told me that his band was denied entry into the UK and deported back to the continent while on tour from the US. They ended up touring as the opening act for a bigger name punk band and all was well. I hope your time goes as smoothly!

 

Okay everyone, nexus check-in time. I appear to have been previously existing in a parallel where the show Pose did not exist, and now I have landed in a parallel in which it does, and if you are reading this, you are here too, welcome, category is, I totally love this show but how did I not know about it before?!

 

Also I definitely feel like a bunch of stuff merged. Hoooooooly shit. Talk to me, people.

I saw an ad for Pose in the last couple of days. I didn’t click it, and I don’t remember hearing of it before. 

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KurtisM

I think if there's any kind of Convergence I've had lately, it would revolve around CALM RECOLLECTION and Prioritization.

I seem to have forgone so much stress and anxiety so I can just focus on a few things each day that matter to me. And as the days shift, I feel free to shift priorities for that new day too.

 

I don't feel any need to set absolute deadlines and much prefer gradually building up all parts of my life bit by bit now.

I still feel anxiety over many things, but I do my best to calm, take it one step at a time and focus on what I can control. As opposed to my previous way of piling everything onto myself as I tunnelvision my focus and shut out all else.

This means I'm far more in tune with my Pillars of Vitality than ever, and I enjoy the moment far more even if it's not ideal.

 

I usually like to plan ahead for the layout of my day, but I'm finding I can't do that much now. Perhaps it's not just me that's affecting that, but also the sense of limbo on the world stage where I don't know where its direction is going yet either?

Anyways I continue to work at my 4th IM 5th Stage, and feel I will soon enter focus on the 6th Stage as well. So here's to that. 🥂

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Sam K

Just saw my grandmother for the first time since she entered the hospital.  She's held on for far longer than anybody really expected, but looking into her eyes, I don't think she's really there anymore.  She responds vaguely to stimuli, but I don't see any recognition.  They've had to defib her so many times that I'd be shocked if there weren't brain damage, and given that they STILL can't keep her heart and blood in normal range without intervention, well...

 

EDIT: She's passed.  I'm... alright, I guess?  Sad, yes, but more for the grief my mother's going through.  Relieved that she can rest finally.  Anxious about what comes next; I haven't had a close (human) family member die since I was a small child, so this is all a bit unfamiliar to me.

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