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Cong

Care vs. Love?

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Cong

I was looking at an old piece of transcript and Michael reminded me that one of my on going theme of lives is "care". And I start to wonder: what's the difference between love and care?

 

If we are talking about love=agape/unconditional acceptance, then there's a clear differences... but when I asked myself the questions:

 

Can you love without caring?

Can you care without love?

 

My answers are no and no... It's one of those concepts that, I know there's a difference, but could not find a tangible way to describe it.

 

Can't wait to see your take on this topic! Or if you know Michael covered this before, let me know where to find them.

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Bobby
4 hours ago, Cong said:

I was looking at an old piece of transcript and Michael reminded me that one of my on going theme of lives is "care". And I start to wonder: what's the difference between love and care?

 

If we are talking about love=agape/unconditional acceptance, then there's a clear differences... but when I asked myself the questions:

 

Can you love without caring?

Can you care without love?

 

My answers are no and no... It's one of those concepts that, I know there's a difference, but could not find a tangible way to describe it.

 

Can't wait to see your take on this topic! Or if you know Michael covered this before, let me know where to find them.

 

Cong, I don't have a link for a topic on this just yet but what I think you're getting at is detachment.

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Maureen

@Cong, I think what you're referring to is the Seven Rings of Love. Care could also be called Nurturing -- or any of the other concentric Rings. Love (in your description) would be Agape.  It's an excellent (full) read. Here's a short excerpt. 

 

We will list the 7 Rings, then cover each in some detail.

 

First Ring: Nurturing
Second Ring: Alliance
Third Ring: Reciprocity
Fourth Ring: Appreciation
Fifth Ring: Comprehension
Sixth Ring: Altruism
Seventh Ring: Agape

 

The First Ring, NURTURING, of course, is not tremendously difficult to bring to your life or to someone else's. Even "Events" receive some amount of this Ring of Love if you experience certain repetitive patterns in your life. In other words, if you find you continue to struggle with "issues" that change form, but retain the core "lesson," you are providing some form of Nurturing for those issues; some form of Love. Love is not reserved for only Humans or Relationships, but is able to be generated for all Events you experience as a Sentient Being. When you have repetitive patterns in your life and you "wish" they were not a part of your life, it will do you well to observe in what ways you Nurture these events as a means to extract or create opportunities for expanding into wider Rings of Love or as a means to opening to receive Love.

...

 

And finally, the Seventh Ring of Love is AGAPE, reached through Altruism. At this Ring, there is no emphasis on anything. Complete acceptance is experienced, with absolute loss of condition, meaning, reference, and definition. As the Sixth Ring developed a lack of emphasis on Events, and the Fifth Ring lost emphasis on Self, this final Ring removes ALL emphasis beyond the allowance of EXPERIENCE. Agape is PEACE. This Ring is related to the all-encompassing, boundless Higher Moving Center, or Tao. This is the Ring of realization that ALL of your life was Created by you or Allowed by you, and that not only is there nothing Wrong or Separate, but that EVERYTHING IS PERFECT in its own way.

 

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Maureen
2 hours ago, Bobby said:

 

Cong, I don't have a link for a topic on this just yet but what I think you're getting at is detachment.

 

As Bobby said it could be this you're looking for. It's one of my favourites. It's an entry from the old Library (Ning). I don't know where to link it to on this site. 

 

[Excerpt from TT: 2010-05-15]

 

Spectrum Between Poles

 

Question:  I’ve just started recognizing the differences in intensity and extremes between different soul ages and different internal monadal experiences as an effect on how Chief Features display. Is this true for all of the various overleaves — i.e., even frequencies and energies? As a general rule, is the slide between negative and positive poles less dramatic with age and experience?

 

MEntity:  Your observation is valid. What you describe is the spectrum of perspectives, experiences, and comprehensions that range between the poles. As the soul grows older, it moves from a more reactionary bounce between the poles, into a response-oriented pendulum swing between the poles, and then into what might be best visualized as an arc between the poles. This arcing is what could be said to be the “Third Perspective.” The older soul still has access to the range between the poles, but from a third perspective, or a perspective that is more “outside” of the self, from a higher elevation, an arc. This allows for a non-attachment to the experiences, comprehensions, and perspectives, while still participating in them.

 

The evolution through the use of the spectrum between the poles of overleaves then could be described as a progression from attachment to detachment to non-attachment, or reactionary to responsive to True Choice, or from bouncing to swinging to arcing.

 

Also, I really liked this description from one of Ingun's reports: 

 

Non-attachment is not the same thing as detachment. Non-attachment is a state of acceptance, a form of agape. It is the process of allowing people, things, and experiences to be symbolic, but without confusion between the symbols and the meanings.

 

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Maureen

Also, I found this in the Library which covers the "caring" part -- beautifully. What Does "Caring Appropriately" Look Like?. Here is a short excerpt:

 

MEntity:  Caring appropriately means consciously aiming away from attachments to prescribed symbols so that you can see yourself clearly reflected in the event (perception/inspiration). It means consciously honestly assessing if you are learning anything and that your participation is authentic (insight/expression). It means being willing to aim away from emphasis on necessary repetition and routine and adding to that the necessary energy that may endure and uphold desires and intentions (productivity/action).
 

MEntity:  If you are unwilling or uninterested in aiming in those directions, you may not care enough, or you may care too much about something unrelated.

 

 

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Jeroen

Here is a section about Caring that I remembered reading before. https://our.truthloveenergy.com/topic/817-michael-speaks-august-27-2016-soul-ages-and-responsibility

 

"OLD SOULS 

 

The priority Responsibility for the Old Soul is TO CARE. 

 

By the time one has become an Old Soul and by the time the capacity for Awareness is so high, the Responsibility to Care becomes quite challenging. 

 

It is not that the Old Soul does not or would not care, but quite the opposite. They can feel as if they "care too much." 

 

The Positive Pole here is RECOGNITION. 

 

The Negative Pole here is APATHY. 

 

When the Old Soul cares in a way that is healthy, there is Recognition, validation, acknowledgement, etc. 

 

You know why you care, you know what you care about, and you know why it is important to care. You do not fault yourself for caring, but Recognize its value, its importance, its necessity. 

 

It is also a path to Recognition of Essence in the self and others. 

 

You cannot Recognize the existence, the Essence, the value, the meaning, the reality of another or the self without Caring. 

 

When you feel you care too much or do not wish to be responsible for Caring, you can fall into Apathy, or the shutting down or narrowing of what you care about. 

 

But you must, eventually, own the Responsibility that comes with Caring. It is not easy, and it is not always pleasant, but it matters and it informs you of the choices you can make that contribute to the well-being of all other Responsibilities. 

 

As an Old Soul you may have Caring as the priority Responsibility, but you are now so Aware that you know you are also Responsible for sustaining your Curiosity, and embracing your Self-Reliance, Confidence, Expression, and your Loving. 

 

We can now take questions for 10 minutes if there are any."

 

"Maureen: With what is going on in the world right now, with the world shifting solidly into the Mature Soul Age and all that this entails, what can Old Souls “do” or “be” that would be of help, to care, at this time? 

 

MEntity:
Continue Care even when it hurts. 

 

Hurting is not the same thing as harm. 

 

Sometimes it hurts to care, and when caring leads to harm it is not the caring that was the cause. 

 

But we know it can hurt. 

 

That hurting is the aching space between your vision, your desire, your wants and the reality defined by your sight, your longing, and your needs. 

 

It will not help you to stop caring, or to not make an effort in the directions that you care about, but know that caring comes with as much joy as it does hurting along the way. 

 

Focus on something, anything, that you care about and aim. Let that be enough. Take your breaks and catch your breath, and then focus again. But continue to care, even when it hurts. You cannot care "too much." That is a lie. 

 

We have more to say on this, but we must conclude here for tonight. 

 

We will close with a note that this information shared is one set of words that can describe the priority Responsibilities that each individual has across Soul Ages, but there may be other ways to describe these. We will also say that there are layers and depths here that can be further explored in various contexts such as world events and relationships. We encourage further exploration, of course. 

 

Good evening to each of you. Goodbye, for now."

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AnnaD

I don't reckon that there is any difference between caring and love, in terms of process and outcome.

Without care and love, things suffer.

 

With care and love, things (people/animals/plants/all of us) thrive, they do not only 

survive, they thrive. Love and care are life supporting energies. Of course there are always degrees of love and caring.

Personal priorities, triaging medical acuity etc

 

I would say that passive love and caring is not as effective or impactful as active love and caring. Unfortunately, people 

are often too stretched to give whoever comes across our paths active care and love. When I can, I try to give active care

and love. We are stretched so many ways, and then someone comes across your path who needs love. We give what we 

can give, and to give unconditionally is effective, but most of the time I am invested and there is always recoil if things

don't work out the way I was hoping etc

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Stickyflames

I feel like if I just look into myself I can see a difference between caring and loving.

I can love republicans, guns, trump, abusers, factory farming etc.

I certainly won’t CARE about any of the values these things represent.

I think a lot of us withhold our love because we think to love means to care.

Real love , to me, is so simple and so difficult to allow..just “ I share existence with you and that is ok that we both exist”. 

Caring is more charged, reflecting our values/ uniqueness/ passions/ impulses.

We can also CARE deeply about loving so the two are hard to separate.

 

Our personalities are always caring about something at all times. 

 

I can care deeply about feeling confident in my own skin.

This caring can manifest in body obsession, health obsession, desperately seeking approval or it can manifest in kindness, trust, open expression,  permission to move.

However it manifests we can be certain we truly care about confidence.

 

Whereas love is just there...taking it all in...embracing the multitude of selves dancing inside, all fighting over how best to care in their own way. Some ways healthy, some self destructive.

 

Love includes...Love can feel almost passive and you can even be lost in the spiritualness of it all.

 

Caring gives, caring GETS real, caring participates. Caring directs attention. Caring focuses. Caring lives.

 

Without love it is very difficult to take responsibility for directing our caring in healthy ways. Part of being responsible for caring is allowing ourselves to love ourselves and others.

The next part is allowing ourselves to get real and live.

Edited by Stickyflames
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AnnaD
1 hour ago, Stickyflames said:

Caring gives, caring GETS real, caring participates. Caring directs attention. Caring focuses. Caring lives.

 

Yes. Caring gets real and applies love to situations and people. Love can do this too though, kind of like love is the recognition of

anyone/anything's humanity and right to their humanity, and caring is active application of love in whatever form it is needed. 

 

I am tired so I will just read this discussion, which is fascinating. Thanks to @Stickyflames and @Connor for their elaborations on love and caring. 

Edited by AnnaD
I had to elaborate my thought further
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Connor

Agreeing on the meaning of Love is its own game.

 

Caring is an investment, Love is not.

 

Love doesn't require any investment. Michael has described Love as a neutral thing, or in other words, lacking any kind of charge. It is not the same as joy, affection, happiness, pleasure, or having feelings, although it is also not separate from any of those things. Love is already there before pleasure is felt, and it is still there after pleasure leaves. It already exists before romance develops, it remains after romance fades. Everything you care about, you Loved first, which is ultimately why you grew to care. Love is inherent and default, like gravity, and it should come as little surprise that Michael has also poetically described Love as the "gravity of souls". The shared default force which ties Everything together.

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Bogi
11 hours ago, Connor said:

Everything you care about, you Loved first, which is ultimately why you grew to care.

 

I like this description. 

 

I know the difference between the trivial meaning of liking // loving as in Loving // being in love.

 

But nowadays, I am seriously scratching my head when I try to determine how I can recognize Love.

It is such a neutral state. Sometimes I think that if I go by this "neutral" feeling, I Love everything and everyone. Can it be? On an Essence level, I think so.

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lake
On 5/12/2019 at 3:06 AM, Cong said:

Can you love without caring?

Can you care without love?

 

My answers are no and no... It's one of those concepts that, I know there's a difference, but could not find a tangible way to describe it.

 

Can't wait to see your take on this topic! Or if you know Michael covered this before, let me know where to find them.

 

 

it upsets me when this comment thread is about how old souls are so wise.  old souls can make mistakes, too.  

 

my parents are old soul vs young soul.  my father (old soul scholar) has health crisis after health crisis year after year to PROVOKE love from my mother (young soul artisan)..... it does not work.  it will never work.  she provides CARE but not love..... the sicker he gets physically then the more physical care he receives..... but that's not what my father wants.  he wants caring not care..... which he sometimes receives from staff during hospital visits.  

 

it's a toxic death spiral going on 3+ years..... could go on for many more years.  sometimes I intervene when my mother is being abusive due to greed, sometimes I don't interfere to let their karma play out.  if my father asks for help, I give it.  I also offer help at other times which is usually refused.  this emotional drama is very draining.

 

CARE vs LOVE...... the topic can be genuinely awful.

 

edit:  it sounds like I'm blaming my father for being sick..... yes, I am.  he does things to intentionally get sicker to provoke love from my mother.  it doesn't work.  then he goes to the hospital, gets better, comes home, cycle repeats....... also a lot of my resources got wiped in 2016 when the situation was in crisis.

 

maybe an analogy is like caring about a drug addict.  this person is self-destructive again and again.  you help and love and care... and get burned out.  he values his toxic marriage more than anything else..... it is a form of unconditional love..... sorry for rambling.... it's just a painful topic.

 

edit 2:  how much care will you give for love at what cost to yourself?  is there a limit?  in retrospect, I question if I should have given so much in the first place.  this doesn't feel like burning karmic ribbons.... it feels like generating new karma.  if my own karma with this is good or bad, I don't know..... but emotionally it's been very difficult.

Edited by lake
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Luciana Flora
3 hours ago, lake said:

it upsets me when this comment thread is about how old souls are so wise.  old souls can make mistakes, too.  

I totally agree with this .. I do not think that one old soul is necessarily wiser than the other ..

I'm old 2 and at no point in my life did I feel more wise .. or felt I knew better than other people ..

And that was one of the reasons I was a little surprised by my profile ..

Maybe an old soul has the potential to be wiser but that does not mean that it will overcome her wounding or that it will be in positive pole ..

OR even that will go to improve the world .. I do not see myself able to improve the world .. And I think it has nothing to do with inconvenience .. In my case, I believe to be a reality .. After all I still have too much trouble with my personal life

 

Maybe I can contribute with people individually .. but the world .. no chance ...

Edited by Luciana Flora
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lake
6 hours ago, Luciana Flora said:

Maybe I can contribute with people individually .. but the world .. no chance ...

 

maybe it's like roots and tree..... tree is out in the world, collecting sunlight, providing food and shelter to the world.... whereas roots are hidden and help only one tree.  if you contribute to individuals, then you give them stability.  with real trees, they always have roots.

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