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Anything on Anger?


CurvyWords

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CurvyWords

Hey, I'd love to read some sessions on Anger, how to confront and release it, and what it is specifically. Apparently as I move through this phase of my 4th IM I am starting to realize how FUCKING MAD I really am about so many things. Any personal work with anger would be lovely to hear as well! What works for you guys? I just lost my shit and punched my pillows for a little bit and feel somewhat better LOL.

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Stickyflames

Mmm delicious.

This year has been all about anger for me.

For a long time I thought growth meant releasing the anger , becoming peaceful inside.

I now see it differently. Anger shows us our values. Anger shows us what really matters to us and it also shows us how we expect others to comply to those values or how we are ignoring these values altogether as a very important part of ourselves.

Anger shows us what is important to us. It also shows us where we have yet to set boundaries with others or where we have crossed far beyond the boundaries of what we have control of.

When living with others, I would often pick just anybody with the mildest of connections. I would tell myself “ I will mind my own business and heal whatever wound comes up...my anger is my business and I’ll use the anger to traaansceend”.

So they would cook bacon or something in the kitchen and I would watch how angry it would get me and I would go to my room and breathe...telling myself to use the opportunity to own myself and stay out of their business”. SO COMPlICATED and UNNECESSARY! the anger just rose and rose and rose until finally I am at a place now where I acknowledge anger is here to inform us what is important to us. It is not here to transcend. We can use it as information to put our power towards situations, relationships, contexts that matter to us. Michael said that anger came when we felt our rights were being violated and it diminishes in intensity when we realize that in 99 percent of situations, we are violating our own rights while giving the other the power/ permission to determine how we feel/ think/ do/ evolve/ learn. 

 

I think true anger just looks like a responsibility to yourself to be living in your own authenticity and no longer holding others responsible for you living in your own authenticity.

Edited by Stickyflames
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CurvyWords

@Stickyflames Oh man, thank you for this. I've been intuiting about it today myself which is why I even asked and I arrived to a very similar initial conclusion. I think I'm confronting that so much of my anger is an extension of suppression. Either being suppressed by others or suppressing myself for the sake of others so that I could not only "keep the peace" but "be liked".

 

Pre-4IM Ree was very much so a concocted persona, a carefully constructed performance of charisma and niceness and humor as I desperately tried for likability in every single social situation. Now I'm realizing that I don't owe it to FUCKING ANYBODY to be likable all the time. I don't have to be open and receptive, and willing to drop whatever I'm doing and/or feeling in order to be "on" for people. Not even my friends. Not even my family. If I'm having a bad day, fuck off leave me alone. If you do something I don't like, I'm gonna trust that I can tell you that I'm upset and if you stop loving me because of it, also fuck off leave me alone. 

 

The anger is just coming up as this sort of righteous indignation, and exactly what you said, the realization that I have violated some of my Rights (as well has had them violated by growing up in an abusive household), and I'm just now starting to feel it. There's a lot to be mad about in the world. People are shitty, even people I love are sometimes shitty. It's okay if I'm shitty sometimes. I don't have to just take it. I can stand up for myself. I can enact boundaries. And I can be a bitch if I'm in a bad mood. All the people I love through their bad moods and shitty decisions and atrocious defective ass chief features. Why can't I allow myself to be me and do the same? 

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Antinius

CurvyWords,

 

Hope this helps—in my Michael definitions file I have the following:

 

Anger: unmet expectations. Anger could be said to have BOUNDARIES as the Positive Pole and DEFENSE as a Negative Pole. The sense of the daunting tasks, actions, time, energy, etc. that is realized is necessary for fulfilling responsibilities and sense of purpose; it can feel quite overwhelming and one can feel helpless, which is the underpinning of Anger.

 

Part of this is from a private chat posted by Maureen several years ago. I couldn't find it on the current TLE website to link to, so here I what I have on my computer:

 

Growth Potential via "Shadow" Fragments

 

Posted by Maureen September 19, 2014
Originally published on October 4, 2013

 

I love Michael’s dream interpretations. Michael even gave us a new term in the interpretation – “Shadow" Fragments – that may be interesting to follow-up on in a public forum.

From a Private Live Chat on October 4, 2013: 

 

[Maureen]: I would like to review a dream I had with you that I think may relate to a past life I had with my brother and my mother (in this life). I haven’t had the easiest of times with either of them in this life and I was wondering if that difficulty relates to any unfinished business with them from that life.

September 29, 2013:  Dreamed many dreams, like I was sorting things out or tying up loose ends. It felt like bits and pieces that I was trying to make sense of – even going across multiple lives to “sort-out”. I’ve had a few nights like this in the last few days.

The last full-ish one I remember is I was a young woman and I came home or at least I came into a room near the front of the house I lived in where there was a bed where I knew my lover had been with me. I saw that there was blood stains – especially on the pillow. My sense was that the blood was my uncle’s and he had killed my lover. I had the strong sense that the uncle in my dream was my brother in this life. The time period seemed to be in a more distant time and it seemed to be in a middle-eastern culture. I was very upset but I wanted my uncle to “pay” for his crime so I took a pen and circled the blood spots/splashes on a pillow case that I thought were his (which I then stowed away). I have no idea how I knew they were his and not the victim?? Also if the time period is as far back as it felt – there is no way the authorities could do DNA testing or for that matter if they would help me at all – so I’m not sure “why” I did that. This was one of the details that felt overlapping with this time period. Then I went deeper into where I lived (the room where I collected the pillowcase seemed to be at the front of the house – near the front door) I could see then that my mother (in the dream and also in this life) had switched my bedroom with another bedroom to “punish” me and that all my personal belongings were gone – completely – and I was left with “new” furniture – all white without a trace of familiarity or connection to my own energy or my “past”. Also the furniture and personal belongings seemed to fit into this time and place (now) – they didn’t feel like they belonged in the past. I could see my mother off in another room dressed in the all the layers of middle eastern garb. She had really stuck it to me. I felt trapped because although I was “older” (I wasn’t a very young woman – I sensed that I may have been in my late 20s or 30s) I had no way to support myself financially – so I had to continue to live there. I felt like I couldn’t reach out to my boyfriend either (which was strange because at the beginning I thought he was killed off??) because he was poor. I felt really stuck.

[Maureen]: Your comments would be appreciated Michael. What is this overlap about? Is there left over business between with my mother and myself that was carried over? Is there left over business with my brother who I felt was the uncle in the dream that was carried over?

[MEntity]: As with most dreams, the primary medium of communication is symbolic, even if drawing from very real events in the current life or past lives. Many of the literal parts still contribute to the language of symbolism.

[MEntity]: First, this is drawing from Instinctive memory, so the reference to the past life is valid.

[MEntity]: It is not unusual for the Old Soul to sift through memories in the Instinctive Center, looking for any reference to issues that were not resolved or may have a chance to find balance in the current life. These would tend to be issues that were not "necessary" for balance or resolution, and were addressed in some way already, but still carry with them a mild charge.

[MEntity]: Issues such as those tend to be addressed in the Astral, or even "saved" for the reunion of Entities.

[MEntity]: In simplistic terms, it would be something similar to someone slapping you, then you slap back, so the tangible aspects were balanced, but some of the curiosity for motivation for the original slap may remain.

[MEntity]: In the life being referenced, it would appear to have been during the Young Soul Age during one of the peak pockets of modern civilization. The "overlap" is probably not from the current life's familiarities, but more that this time period was just similar.

[MEntity]: The more literal memories here were of the murder that was committed, and the subsequent process for pursuing justice. This is easily one of those experiences that left several threads of "why" open for further exploration. It would not be the cause of, or the source of, any current stresses among fragments involved in that life, but current stresses may bring up that past, of course.

[MEntity]: The symbolic aspects here appear to be speaking to the subconscious exploring this lifetime's potential causes for current issues regarding intimacy, affection, and comforts of union.

[Maureen]: that makes sense

[MEntity]: Because these issues are in the Higher Moving Center, or the Sacral Chakra, they are not only "close" to the Instinctive Center, but broad in scope across time and space in terms of resonance.

[MEntity]: Hence the mix of the past and present.

[MEntity]: Of course, the present is the more relevant element here, so we would speak to the concern for how these two fragments may contribute to your blocking of, or lack of, fulfilling intimacy.

[MEntity]: Or, rather, how you may feel these fragments have contributed to this.

[Maureen]: I can see that Michael – it has been an issue with these two people.

[Maureen]: I have had a very hard time trusting either of them. Both of them have gone out of their way to "hurt" me, in ways that I haven't always understood.

[MEntity]: Keep in mind that this would be because of experiences and dynamics of the current life, and not because of a murdered lover 500,000 years ago.

[Maureen]: I can see that it's a resonance that I picked up on – because of happenings in this lifetime.

[MEntity]: Yes, but you also "picked up" on something else:

[MEntity]: There are various fragments who set precedent in early lives where their challenges to the Personality were so advantageous toward evolution, there can tend to continue this dynamic, and they are, ironically, some of the most loving of relationships on an Essence Level.

[MEntity]: We do not share this with you so that the actions of those fragments are excused, but simply for the information for why the challenges can sometimes be a pattern between fragments, even as they move away from being Karmic.

[MEntity]: Knowing this can also help you to look beneath or beyond the superficial aspects of the relationship and into what there is for you to gain from your dynamic.

[Maureen]: Interestingly, I have always viewed my brother's "abuse" of me in this lifetime as his targeted (if somewhat clumsy) attempt to be more intimate with me.

[MEntity]: For example, someone may have a brutally critical sibling or parent who seems to constantly point to flaws and what is wrong in the self. This can contribute to a myriad of other issues that stem from that kind of input from someone close.

[MEntity]: But, in addition to seeing this from the position of "what is wrong with them," or "what is wrong with me," or "this is why I can't be close to someone else now," etc. the entire dynamic could change if seen as a coaxing toward full ownership of confidence and acceptance of self.

[Maureen]: I can see that.

[MEntity]: For some fragments, a loving, accepting, and nurturing environment is far more suspicious (to the Personality) and gives nothing of obvious substance against which to measure the growth of the self.

[Maureen]: That sounds so fucked up – but I get it.

[Maureen]: We often need something to push against – in order to grow.

[MEntity]: However, when enlisting these fragments to naturally challenge the Personality in the life, it gives potential for that pivotal moment when the Personality launches into a complete ownership of a trait that has been elusive for several lifetimes.

[Maureen]: What has been that elusive trait for me?

[MEntity]: Keep in mind that "the plan" is not for abuse or devastating events, but as with any good idea from the Astral, once the incarnation begins, it is a gamble, if you will, for how the Personalities will behave and choose.

[MEntity]: These fragments with whom there is this kind of pattern tend to be those with a mathematical dissonance that we can go into another time. We could refer to these fragments as "shadow" fragments, or those who follow us through lives to bring out the "shadow" elements of the self.

[MEntity]: This trait for you may be Anger.

[MEntity]: And all that the term entails.

[Maureen]: That makes sense. They did help with that – in this lifetime. I mean that in a good way.

[MEntity]: They may have helped provoke it, but you did the work in owning it.

[Maureen]: This is very clear to me. I remember my huge shift -- when I finally owned it and applied it. It was liberating.

[MEntity]: Anger is one of your least-favorite signals, yet most pervasive and insidious elements of your "shadow." It has haunted many of your Personalities.

[Maureen]: I hope I have moved closer to freedom (as opposed to liberation) – within anger – now.

[MEntity]: We say this as a matter of spectrum. Anger can be quiet, even as it trembles under the skin.

[MEntity]: We have commented on the dream, but we can look at in specific ways of interest to you, if you choose, or move to further questions.

[Maureen]: Does Anger have negative/positive poles?

[Maureen]: I sensed it as a form of Liberation/Freedom

[MEntity]: Yes, Anger could be said to have BOUNDARIES as the Positive Pole and DEFENSE as a Negative Pole. Because Anger represents a spectrum, it can be broken down by those terms, as well.

[MEntity]: The liberation/freedom you sense would come from the dissipation of Anger, or the processing of the helplessness that is underneath that anger.
 

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Luciana Flora

I never addressed this issue with MIchael so I do not know what they would say but I will tell you about my experience with anger.

 I remember that before embarking on my journey of self-knowledge, which began long before I entered TLE, I really thought good people did not feel angry.

 I could not even see the anger in me, she was totally repressed.

I think one of the reasons for this is that I've never felt free to express myself emotionally with my parents. After all for them I was always exaggerating .. IoI


I think my parents never knew how to cope well with their feelings and emotions and consequently did not know how to deal with mine ..


 And I think I'm finally seeing that this understanding of my feelings is something they just can not give me ..

 But I think my reactions are exaggerated (be it anger, sadness, crying) because I'm not reacting just that moment .. it's that moment added to all the moments when I did not allow myself to feel and express myself .. I think It can not be repressed forever, it explodes at some point.
 

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Timothy J Sullivan

Check with me on MSG.  In the DA system, Anger relates to the RED ESSENCE.

The post by Antinius is 'right on'. In fact all the posts are right

on.

Edited by Timothy J Sullivan
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