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Troy

ENERGY REPORT - September 2019

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Uma
11 minutes ago, Troy said:

September 19th - 21st -- NEXUS -- DIVERGENCE - This marks a first shift toward or away from Self-Destruction on a large scale. If there is a shift toward more collective Self-Destruction, it is likely being demonstrated in some way during the Nexus. If the Nexus window is fairly quiet and/or showcases a moving and meaningful event, the shift would likely be away from Self-Destruction.

NEXUS--DIVERGENCE!!!!

I am happy to hear this. Thanks, @Troy, for the Report, insight and hope.

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BrianW

Considering my bedroom and bathroom got flooded two weeks ago from a leak from my upstairs neighbor's apartment and I spent a lot of money recently replacing an exploded water heater at my mom's house and have several dreams regarding mass destruction of the nuclear variety, black one-way portals in space, etc, and have spent the past year consciously isolated myself from others outside of my immediate social circle as a means of rejection of the various forms of disappointment and rejection I have received from others during my various attempts to learn and enjoy socialization, I'm going to venture a guess I am solidly in the Subjective side of this. Not sure if I'd be so happy about that divergence nexus coming up.

 

Perhaps I do need a bit of a reality check and not let my perceptions guide my judgment and choices.

 

Anyone else have water-related issues recently in their lives?

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Stickyflames

Interesting that water is a theme for the 5th to 10th because i have been obsessed with water this week, seemingly out of no where. An urge to hydrate myself/nurture myself in a way that I often neglect. The irony is I think I drank way too much of it yesterday , too fast and I felt so odd that I needed to go to bed. Gosh , where is the symbolism in that?

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ckaricai
16 minutes ago, BrianW said:

Considering my bedroom and bathroom got flooded two weeks ago from a leak from my upstairs neighbor's apartment and I spent a lot of money recently replacing an exploded water heater at my mom's house and have several dreams regarding mass destruction of the nuclear variety, black one-way portals in space, etc, and have spent the past year consciously isolated myself from others outside of my immediate social circle as a means of rejection of the various forms of disappointment and rejection I have received from others during my various attempts to learn and enjoy socialization, I'm going to venture a guess I am solidly in the Subjective side of this. Not sure if I'd be so happy about that divergence nexus coming up.

 

Perhaps I do need a bit of a reality check and not let my perceptions guide my judgment and choices.

 

Anyone else have water-related issues recently in their lives?

 

Actually, I just joined a new gym yesterday, after not having a decent one for months. My primary form of exercise is - aqua workout. I had resisted joining because of the price but it’s what I would have had to pay to rejoin my old gym at their current rate and slightly less to join a different gym that also has a pool. Turns out the one I joined is the best out of all my choices because they have more amenities and every location they have has a pool a sauna a and a steam room. (My old gym only had a steam room which I actually hate and never used.) And every location has aqua workout more than twice a week. I can do aqua workout every day of the week if I want instead of only twice a week at my old gym. 

 

I’m kind of mad at myself for not joining sooner. I went for months without working out all because I felt like I didn’t have any good options. I also quit smoking a while ago and finally paid off a credit card, which made it possible to be able to afford the gym I finally joined. 

 

I was was thinking about all this yesterday after my workout and just feeling like I could kick myself for thinking this gym was not worth it. 

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Sam K

My anxiety's been kicking my ass lately, what with starting teaching full-time and all.  My FEELING is that I'm being squeezed between failing to do everything I need to on one hand, and falling into the common teacher trap of letting the job consume your life on the other.  I fear both being a bad teacher/losing my job, and reaching a point where I'm ONLY a teacher and my other interests and passions have been pushed aside.

 

I know that the truth is that I'm brand-new, doing the best I can, and that my colleagues and principal know that.  I also know that I've been able to still have time to regularly practice kung fu, play games, and spend time with family and friends even with my new job.  I just wish my feelings aligned with reality more.

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DianeHB

Well, we had a big thunderstorm last night here in Seattle. Thunder and lightning are rare here, and so are heavy downpours, especially this time of year. I’ve been wondering if the CF season is hitting me early, because ever since the start of September I’ve been feeling kind of down and have low energy. As far as I can tell there’s no good reason for it, and I don’t think I’m in subjectivity. I did come off a period of highs for 3 weeks though, so maybe it’s just the body trying to recuperate. 

 

Edit: I just reread this passage, and I can see how since September I’ve been reviewing my year and finding myself not having “done enough” and feeling down about it. Even though I’m not in Subjectivity with regards to “the world,” I might be with regards to myself and not seeing my accomplishments objectively. 

 

Quote

We will speak more to Self-Destruction as October arrives, but if any of our students are feeling a slow or escalating trajectory toward punishment of self or others, even if unintentionally, we can suggest now that you do your best to shift your attention to THE TRUTH, not your FEELINGS.

 

Edited by DianeHB
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Diane
1 hour ago, Troy said:

September 5th - 10th -- Energy Shift --  EMOTIONAL EVALUATION --  As September begins, many of our students are likely checking in with their emotions and assessing the health of those emotions. Have they been blocked? Are they overflowing? Are there storms brewing?

Hurricane Dorian right on queue. 

Death and Destruction in the Bahamas and the U.S. and yesterday, September 7 hit the Atlantic provinces. 

 

My oldest son is at his in-laws in Halifax, N.S. which received a direct hit.  There was no good place to be in Nova Scotia, they evacuated people who were directly on the ocean and two major bridges connecting the largest cities were closed.  

They were prepared for a long power outage.  I hope they are able to fly back to Toronto on Monday.

 

It's interesting to me that my son's roommate from University chose this weekend to visit Halifax, flying in from Vermont with his wife.  They experienced a very destructive hurricane together in 2003.

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Diane
2 hours ago, Uma said:

NEXUS--DIVERGENCE!!!!

I am happy to hear this. Thanks, @Troy, for the Report, insight and hope.

@Uma ditto

 

@Troy

Thank you for our energy report.

 

Edited by Diane
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Sarah
26 minutes ago, DianeHB said:

Well, we had a big thunderstorm last night here in Seattle. Thunder and lightning are rare here, and so are heavy downpours, especially this time of year.

 

It was a BIG storm. It hit us up here in Canada, too. Thunder/lightning and downpours of deafening rain. That kind of weather's not completely unheard of around here, but it was surprising in its intensity!

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Uma
43 minutes ago, Diane said:

It's interesting to me that my son's roommate from University chose this weekend to visit Halifax, flying in from Vermont with his wife.  They experienced a very destructive hurricane together in 2003.

That's really interesting, @Diane. Sounds like it could be more than a coincidence. 

 

We really dodged the bullet of Dorian here in Florida. If it had hit us like it did the Bahamas, we would look like that too. I know Michael has said that our human consciousness has a correlation to the weather, and Dorian's path made me wonder if human consciousness has any impact on such events (as Marianne Williamson and others suggest). I will say that even though Dorian did not hit us, the anxiety of the six days previous was way worse than the effects of Irma, which hit us directly in 2017. 

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Wendy

I really have no idea where I am on the subjectivity scale.  The past couple months have been pretty rough for me. 

 

@DianeHB I have been exhausted every day for over a month now.  I have been doing some intensive healing involving myofascial release and cranial sacral work, and a couple weeks ago I had a moment on the table where I thought, I have been tired of living since before I could even speak.  I came close to dying as a baby, and I believe I did die as a baby in my last life (haven't had this confirmed but had an experience that leads me to believe this) so this all makes sense to me.  I suspect I am now consciously working through those old feelings by feeling the exhaustion. 

 

I feel like I am still not recovered from Dorian either.  The fear experienced by the body from having that storm sitting there for days on end was so intense, and again resulted in exhaustion.  In the midst of all that I turned 60 and I think I have some buried feelings about that milestone too. 

 

I'm hoping this coming nexus will reveal some useful information.  I soldier on as I always do but I could really use some relief.  I also in the past month realized I want to really live in the time left to me, not just survive, and I don't know what that looks like.   My platform for this year is Desire and I'm asking Essence for help with this daily!

 

Edited by Wendy
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Janet

Interesting that weather predications for Colorado in September are calling for quite a bit of rain all month. Unusual for early autumn in Colorado. In fact, there has been quite a bit of rain all summer, with thunderstorms bringing heavy rain and hail vs. the usual summer thunderstorms that are mostly thunder, lightning and wind. 

 

I'm also intrigued about the water emphasis because in July I got a Hidrate Spark water bottle at the urging of my doctor. I tend to get engrossed in whatever project I'm working on and I can "wake up" from my work at 3 in the afternoon to discover I've neither eaten nor had anything to drink all day. My kidneys were unhappy. Since purchasing the Hidrate Spark I've had a 50+ day streak of drinking all the daily water its app demands. (The range has been from around 50 up to 80 ounces, and I have yet to figure out how the daily demand is calculated.) I'm surprised at how much better I feel, and I'm sleeping much better as well (as long as I finish all my daily water well before bedtime). I've noticed I'm developing the habit to drink fluids because at restaurants now I remember to intentionally drink all the water they give me before leaving. The bottle is not cheap and there are alternative apps, but this approach is working well for me so I'm glad I made the purchase. 

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KurtisM

Yay! A nexus! A scary one too!!

 

Anyways, yes definitely some emotional evaluations going on.

I noted on the 5th how so much of my life is finally seeming to move forward. Even if challenging, it is moving forward and the dam has given way and bursted to the reality of my conscious investment, effort and continual consistent self-work.

My reality is finally reflecting results I craved for a long ass time.

 

On the same day of the 5th I also realized that there are two parts of my life that do not seem to be moving forward, nor reflect me in the ways I would like them to.

One is how I feel kind of constantly annoyed, agitated and confused about how those around me are continuing to do harmful things like eat meat and waste a lot of stuff. Despite my best efforts, they do not seem to want to take any deeper commitments in those directions, and ask any deeper questions about their traditions and feelings. It's not so much just about them either, but also how I am confused about how to continue advocating for social/global causes, and making new and more actions that reflect my integrity and care.

 

The other is more immediately relevant about my job and how although I am grateful for my job, and know it provides for me financially and even socially... it does not reflect me. It reflects what 2016 Kurtis needed, not what 2019 Kurtis needs. I am currently organizing my thoughts about what I have learned at my job, what I like and don't like, want and don't want, and I'm gathering and compiling various job opportunities that I may enjoy based on interests and curiosities.

I just want to come home from a job not feeling chronically exhausted and frustrated like I do, but feeling like what I did was a meaningful contribution and even if it was exhausting, it'd be a good productive exhaustion.

The only reason I haven't changed jobs yet is because of confusing advice from family about how I should stay where I am, and how few jobs would be better than what I have. I've let their thoughts trump my own.

 

In terms of weather, my area also got some intense summer thunderstorms.

This report and what I wrote above both remind me of the October 2011 Energy Report. There was something written in them about divergences then that themed around "conforming to and following order and authority" vs "questioning orders and contributing our own authority"- as well as "working against ourselves" vs "negotiating with each other and working together".

It seems we've returned to similar themes as 2011. We obviously chose the path of conformity, conflict and competition back in 2011, but now we have a chance not to again.

Edited by KurtisM
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Christian

The water part got me.

 

All summer, I have been thinking of all the things that need to be done around the house.

 

Many of them are related to water drainage.

 

The thought being if the storms we have had all summer in STL continue....if this is the normal...we need to direct the water so that it continues to flow.

 

It also has been part of prepping if you will.  The water will damage if allowed to stay and do what water does.

 

So...wierdly timely.

 

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Patty

Loving the water metaphors for a year in Flow! 

 

@Sam K it sounds like you’re on the right track with making self care a priority! Stick through this year, I’m sure next year will be soo much easier! As you experiment with various systems, you’ll learn what works and what doesn’t and you can take steps to avoid the pitfalls next year. One thing I wish I had been more intentional about was journaling last year (this is my second full year teaching) - I have last year’s calendar, and some lessons material, so I can kind of piece together how long some activities took and what would be worth skipping or spending more time on, but I am really kicking myself for not including more details! Also, try the podcast “Truth for Teachers” if you haven’t come across it already - Angela Watson focuses on organizational tips and getting things done without overloading your schedule. 

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Diane
3 hours ago, Uma said:

I will say that even though Dorian did not hit us, the anxiety of the six days previous was way worse than the effects of Irma, which hit us directly in 2017. 

 

Yes, anxiety! 

Just came from seeing a movie, 'The Farewell' about a Chinese family where the grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer.  

The family won't tell the grandmother that the doctor said she has cancer and only 3 months to live. 

The Chinese believe that when you have cancer you die.  

It's not the cancer that kills you, but the anxiety of knowing you have cancer.

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Juni
6 hours ago, BrianW said:

Considering my bedroom and bathroom got flooded two weeks ago from a leak from my upstairs neighbor's apartment and I spent a lot of money recently replacing an exploded water heater at my mom's house and have several dreams regarding mass destruction of the nuclear variety, black one-way portals in space, etc, and have spent the past year consciously isolated myself from others outside of my immediate social circle as a means of rejection of the various forms of disappointment and rejection I have received from others during my various attempts to learn and enjoy socialization, I'm going to venture a guess I am solidly in the Subjective side of this. Not sure if I'd be so happy about that divergence nexus coming up.

 

Perhaps I do need a bit of a reality check and not let my perceptions guide my judgment and choices.

 

Anyone else have water-related issues recently in their lives?

 I've been considering starting to swim for exercise again, after a years long hiatus.  It's also going to be a rainy week, for which I'm profoundly grateful.
I've also been tired and  having various minor illnesses and shin splints have made it impossible to do my exercise of choice, dancing, for a while.
My dreams have been completely, deeply weird. 
I've also been thinking about my Platform of this year, which is Adventure. I've been feeling lately like I do want to change things up somehow, but I'm at somewhat of a loss as to what or how, really.

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Heidi
1 hour ago, Juni said:

My dreams have been completely, deeply weird. 

Same here. I went through a dry spell, dream-wise, but we're back on with the full-blown nuttiness. Yesterday's dream involved eating some girl's long, brown locks of hair ... like, voraciously. I remember feeling embarrassed while doing it, but couldn't help myself. This morning's dream was all about my teeth falling out. The whole top row of teeth were in my hands and I was panicking about what to do to fix it. 

 

I obviously have some power and identity issues going on.

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Bobby

Totally fascinated by the quote in the Energy Shift - Emotional Evaluation secion:

 

As September begins, many of our students are likely checking in with their emotions and assessing the health of those emotions. Have they been blocked? Are they overflowing? Are there storms brewing? Is there a leak? Is there a drought? Have they been put on ice? We use the metaphor of water here as there are likely symbolic events in the personal and/or collective world involving water that are a part of this emotional evaluation.

 

Over in the Dreamworld Club, I posted about a dream I had on Tuesday with the following:

 

Monday night dream involved me in this rather larger house where a doctor friend of mine worked out of for her practice.  Many people had come over I think to see a movie.  They were all women.  Due to the number of them, I suggested we move to the lower area, perhaps a basement, and watch the movie there.  At the same time, I remember HUGE torrents of rain falling periodically.  It was like Niagara Falls and picked up and hovered over the house there was so much water falling from the sky.  And due to the amount of downflow, I think it must have pulled in very cold air because at time the rain would change to pure ice falling out of the sky.  The sound from all of this was deafening almost.  😮

 

Could just be coincidental but so close to this Energy Shift period that I doubt it.

 

Maybe I need a good cry 🙂

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Becca the Student

Interesting when the Divergence is -- on September 20th, the Global Climate Strike kicks off a week of planned climate protests and activism. I can see this possibly being the "moving or meaningful event" demonstrating the shift away from Self-Destruction. Crossing fingers we stay in the parallel that leans toward healing.

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John

I'm (darkly!) amused.

 

My computer apparently decided to get an early start on "self destruction." The monitor died today, and it took some key parts of the computer's core software with it.  Enough that while I was eventually able to get a new monitor and gain some sort of access to my machine, it couldn't boot -- not in safe mode, nor to restore to a previous setting ... and I was forced to reset it to the factory default settings.  End result, I have a computer that works, but lost all of my files, pictures, videos, and programs.  Some of it was backed up elsewhere, and those bits I can recover it.  Some of it is lost forever.  All in all, a most frustrating and disgruntling afternoon.  I am running quite short in the gruntle department!  I should see about re-gruntling myself sometime soon.

 

In the meantime, I hope things go well with y'all during this time of emotional evaluation.  Stay awesome!

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Eric

I'm all for some good water and rain. We had some nice fairly regular rain this spring. But then summer set in, the temperatures went through the roof, and rain has gone back to being in short supply beyond infrequent mini-showers. We're getting back into the fall rainy season, though, so fingers crossed.

 

Quote

September 5th - 10th -- Energy Shift --  EMOTIONAL EVALUATION --  As September begins, many of our students are likely checking in with their emotions and assessing the health of those emotions. Have they been blocked? Are they overflowing? Are there storms brewing? Is there a leak? Is there a drought? Have they been put on ice? We use the metaphor of water here as there are likely symbolic events in the personal and/or collective world involving water that are a part of this emotional evaluation. [note: as this report comes after a hurricane, we note that this was part of the energy shift we describe] On the other side of this shift is likely a realization regarding the necessity for dealing with blocked or neglected emotions.


Well, that explains a lot about the sudden increase in sleepiness and uptick in odd dream activity. That aligns almost exactly with when I started noticing it. I can't recall anything watery about the dreams (one actually had fiery explosions), but it has felt like they've been running the gamut in terms of emotions. Fear, anger, joy, relief, laughter, awkwardness...the featured emotions have been all over the place.

I can see how assessing feelings vs truth is useful. I've feel like I've been in a tug of war between my feelings and how things are, often landing toward the subjective side and sinking into my feelings. There's something almost addictively comfortable about it. I've found that when I can get out of my head, take some time outside, find something constructive to occupy my attention, I'm able to be less wrapped up in my feelings.

 

...dammit, those are Moving Centered things aren't they? The one thing that Michael mentioned as helpful that I tend to sidestep. Curse you Michael and your accurate suggestions! 😛

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Sam K
21 hours ago, Eric said:

...dammit, those are Moving Centered things aren't they? The one thing that Michael mentioned as helpful that I tend to sidestep. Curse you Michael and your accurate suggestions! 😛

 

You can't sidestep the Moving Center, Eric.  That would be a movement. *ba-dum-tssh*

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Ingun

Just a little note from this corner of the world (on my mobile... phew).

 

We had nationwide local and county elections yesterday here in Norway and more people being engaged in it too by voting.

There are mainly at least 10 different parties, plus some local parties here and there in addition. The Greens and agrarian Centre Party made gains with over 50% since last votes 4 years ago.

 

The political landscape has changed quite a lot now, new coalitions and alliances will have to be made and politicians will need to cooperate more and find solutions also from case to case.

 

The 3 biggest parties lost a lot of voters. The governing parties at the moment is a mix of 4 parties (2 of the dominating + 2 smaller) and they all lost votes to other parties. Also the opposition party lost voters

 

These others mainly work for radical change re. green/environmental issues, stop the centralisation and bring power, welfare and independency to the locals/communities instead of growing huge systems and making reforms that aren't close to people and the communities, and not serving the people were they live. Also changing the economical and social differences that has built up during the years with mainly right wing influence governing (2 right + 1 center + 1 left party).

 

In 2021 we have the next election, parliament election.

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