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November 2013



ROLE: SAGE (emphasized all year)
CENTER: INTELLECTUAL (emphasized all year)
GOAL: FLOW > acceptance/discrimination (emphasized Jan - Mar)
MODE: POWER (emphasized Apr - Jun)
ATTITUDE: IDEALIST (emphasized Jul - Sep)


NOVEMBER continues through the collective exploration of Self-Destruction. When a Chief Negative Feature is secured, either in the individual or collectively, it tends to go into a quiet, rather dormant state that can often appear as if it has been relieved. In the same way that the Chief Negative Feature is generated as a form of protection, it also generates protection for itself. In other words, it moves into an insidious state. This is how a Chief Negative Feature remains a part of a person or a society for many years without any awareness or effort made to transform it. This is where/how Self-destruction has gone, collectively.


November may seem to have a rather quiet lull in the effects of the Self-destruction on a more collective level, but these may be moving toward extremes that would only become more obvious, later, or when provoked as defense. So the Positive and Negative Poles are being exemplified in slow extremes of divide between Sacrifice and Suicide, played out in various ways among groups of fragments. A good example can be found in the United States’ political system as Democrats exemplify Sacrifice, and Republicans exemplify Suicide.


We remind you that Self-destruction is the fear of worthlessness, so to protect against this Sacrifice will be used as a way to presume the earning of worth at one’s own expense, while the use of Suicide (figuratively or literally) is the permanent removal of self from the equation of worth in hopes that the absence provides enough contrast to prove there was worth.


When the use of the Chief Feature moves into its more insidious state, it begins to fracture into more pointed, contained, and specific outbursts, or spread into broad, “slow-burning” effects within different areas of the life. So when we are speaking of the Chief Feature on a collective level as it moves into a more insidious state, it can begin to show up on individual levels that contribute to these outbursts or slow-burning effects that can affect communities that then affect the larger scale. This means there may come to be some outbursts of individuals over November that help to reveal the trajectory of Suicide for some institutions or groups, while there may come to eventually be revealed Sacrifices that were made by individuals for other institutions or groups to sustain their worth. In addition to this, there may come to be a rise in more literal Sacrifices, such as “heroic” rescues, and Suicides over the next couple of months as the Chief Feature is utilized.


For most of our students, the more extreme use of this collective Chief Feature is not of interest, but the effects of this use in the world around them may still have its impact. This might show up as enforced apathy, deliberate denial, an imbalance of emphasis on “only the positive,” and general fragility for “dealing with the world.” This could lead to some retraction, isolation, and a quiet, somber move into hiding that just hopes that things will either get better on their own, or that struggles around you will go away. For some, this fragility and denial can begin to creep into relationships, pursuits, and philosophies, affecting the Mode, Goal, and/or Attitude, respectively. It may not be extreme, but it can be insidious and still have an impact.


If you find that you are in a wave of fragility and denial that is affecting your outlook, your relationships, and your intentions, you may very well have found that the collective Chief Feature is creeping into your own methods of defense. On an individual level, this is most likely a defense against “the future.” Self-destruction brings with it a heightened sensitivity to mortality in everyone and everything, often bringing with it a confusing sense of what it is “all worth.” Why try so hard? What does it matter? What does any of this matter? What do I matter? What difference does my opinion or feelings make in the larger scheme of things, let alone in my own life? These are the thoughts and feelings generated as defense against the question of worth.


This is Self-destruction.


This is not to say these questions are not valid, but that they do not have answers that can be satisfied without LIVING. And we use the term “living” in the broadest sense that includes enthusiasm, joy, play, participation, effort, etc. The irony in answers to such questions of worth is that they cannot be answered by simply asking them and then sitting with them, or brooding with them, or hiding with them. They must be answered by your living, and only then can you learn that your worth is something that cannot be measured by anything other than exactly the ingredients of all that it means to LIVE. The further irony is that one cannot avoid living. Whether in a body or not, one is alive. To live means to experience, and experience does not stop. Ever.


The questions of one’s worth, one’s value, one’s meaning, the difference one makes, or how one might matter, are not existential or rhetorical questions. These questions are not meant to defeat you. They are symptoms of waking up, gaining consciousness, and recognizing that you do matter, make a difference, and are valuable. There is no actual question of value, difference, or matter, but only a question of where and how you are implementing this in your life. If these questions emerge, you may simply be questioning how better to participate, play, and make more effort. Lack of participation, play, and effort does not make you less worthy, meaningful, or ineffective; it only means it makes it more difficult to see or feel.


Helpful thoughts over NOVEMBER might be:

If you find you are questioning your worth, let it be an invitation to participate, to make the effort, to allow enthusiasm, and be alive. This does not always feel good. It does not always feel bad. It does not always feel flat and inert. Life is undulating, ebbing, and flowing, and only you can nurture or suppress this. You cannot stop it, but you can suppress it, and the more this is suppressed, ignored, or diminished, the more likely your value, worth, and meaning are difficult to see. Imagine a mind full of ideas for writing, but that are never written. Imagine a heart full of loving that refuses to love the self. Imagine a choreography of dance that is only drawn up on paper. The ideas, the love, and choreography may be formless, but they are still meaningful, valuable, and worthy; they are simply less-likely to be recognized, seen, or felt without form.


An aside: This is why the Chief Feature of Self-destruction is an Expressive Chief Feature. It is protection from lack of form, or protection from a form that is rejected. Giving life, or form, to you, your ideas, your love, your choreography, is often all it takes to begin the transformation away from fear. The use of the Positive or Negative Poles of Self-destruction are ways to force or impose a form, or destroy the possibility of form, altogether.



November 09 - 11 -- NEXUS - Convergence - this appears to be a reunion of parallel lines that have ended, or that have ended for others of significance. This may bring dreams of loved ones who have passed away, people from the past, animal companions who have died, or vague, strange variations on your life and experiences that are, literally, coming from parallels where you have died.

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