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Troy

ENERGY REPORT - February 2020

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Mari Lynn

Thanks for this.

Last Wednesday, I got the news that my brother had unexpectedly died. Unbeknownst to him and his wife, he had advanced stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. Yes, he was a smoker. He was an early mature scholar cast Artisan, and his cf's were arrogance & self destruction. I am reeling from this news, as he & I were close. He lived in San Diego with his wife and when I lived out there, we had many good times...some not so good too, but I loved him dearly. That said, his self destruction literally contributed to his untimely death. 

 

I am going to take Michael's message to heart as much as possible as I navigate grief. 

Our shared memories of our challenges in childhood and his wanting to gloss over those wounds left a mark on him. My heart aches...my relationship with him is much different than my other sisters' experiences of him, and even tho I sometimes feel quite alone in my grief, I know too, that THAT is ok and being gentle with myself is important.

Thanks again Troy & Michael, for this timely message. 

Edited by Mari Lynn
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Amanda

I've been running around banging pots and pans together and saying this lately lolol 😂 good to know I was on to something!😁

 

"As the potential turbulence of the year unfolds within our students and around our students, it can be helpful to return your focus to kindness, no matter what the situation or scenario"

 

Practice radical kindness, y'all! ❤️

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Sam K

Ah.  A highly consequential divergence, waves of Self-Deprecation (that I am for once very in tune with), Younger souls continuing their Self-Destruction bender... Happy Birthday to me! 🥳

Edited by Sam K
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Michèle

@Mari Lynn My condolences 🌻 I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your brother - and much love to you.

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Amanda
6 hours ago, KurtisM said:

It's crunch time. Do or Die.

"Do or do not, there is no try." 

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Becca the Student

I gotta say, I'm both excited and terrified for the end of February. I so hope one of those divergences is a breakthrough towards a movement that generates a more loving world, and I desperately want to be around for that. The other options are what terrify me. XD

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SunSand

I feel as if I had been lucky. Either I dont realize I am experiencing some sort of hardship this whole time or I just haven't been hit so hard the past few years. Just following my being-ness, or  at least I am rediscovering it. I feel uncertainty but also some anticipation about what the future brings. It is a good time to be 30. 

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WolfAmethyst
On 2/10/2020 at 3:09 PM, Troy said:

February 28th - 29th -- NEXUS -- DIVERGENCE - This Nexus appears to bring with it a kind of momentum launched by an ultimatum and/or threat that brings clarity and focus. This is not an ominous prediction, but the best way we can describe a pattern coming to a turning point on a collective scale. The reactions to this Nexus would likely generate a divergence for explorations of different outcomes over the next 5 to 10 years.

 

On Feb 29th...?
South Carolina Primary in US election cycle - who will / won't continue their campaign into / beyond "Super Tuesday" on March 3rd

A LOT of companies (airlines, factories, etc) may or may not be resuming regular transportation, may or may not be reopening for regular business in China / large swaths of Southeast Asia

 

Re: concerns re Coronavirus presence and spread post-February
Has anybody else seen a certain world map, with a circle encompassing China, India, and several nearby countries, that claims 50% of Earth's human population lives inside the circle, 50% outside?
https://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/earth/geophysics/small-circle-asia-more-half-worlds-population.htm

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Connie Stansell-Foy

@Troy and Michael, thank you.

On 2/10/2020 at 12:09 PM, Troy said:

there are no circumstances that can prevent anyone from loving others and themselves and being kind to others and themselves.

I love this. 

@Mari Lynn, my condolences on your loss. You must be hurting.

I still have all my siblings, but we are getting up there in age (the eldest will be 74 in June), and I'm dreading starting to lose them. I know in my heart that they will, in fact, be completely safe and able to look back over their lives and enjoy the good and see how the less-good could have been better, but I'll miss them. And I think it's unlikely that I'll be the first to go.

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Leela Corman

I like their comment about cliche. It reminds me of this quote from one of my idols, guitarist Rowland S. Howard: "You only notice a cliche when it's done badly; if it's done well, it's a very powerful piece of imagery."

 

I've been almost blind with sadness lately. It's hard to tease out where it's coming from. I mean, I cut off communication with my parents in December and am only just now reestablishing it, I don't trust them and I still think they're both crazy, destructive people right now. But it's depressing no matter what. It feels like I'm doing something terrible to them to not talk to them, it feels like a betrayal of myself to let them back in, it all sucks. Beyond that, there's another situation in my life I very much want to have traction with and don't, but it's not a conflict, fortunately, just a mountain I'd like to move.

 

However, other mountains have moved. My alma mater, Massachusetts College of Art, suddenly awarded me my BFA without my having to take any more courses, after months of resistance and Soviet-level bureaucratic nuttiness. I was about to give up and just start lying to potential teaching jobs, but I made one more attempt, pulled a last string, and suddenly there was an email in my inbox saying Here's your diploma. Either they finally looked at my CV and realized I'm a genius powerhouse, or they realized what a persistent pain in the ass I am and that I would never leave them alone until I got what I needed from them, so they decided to avoid the headache of dealing with me any further. I suspect it is the latter. So after 20 years, I have my motherfucking BFA! Up yours, state-mandated math class!

 

I also suddenly am making some money. People are buying my original art, projects are getting funded, I got hired to teach a Jewish Graphic Novel class at UF Jewish Studies DESPITE not having a PhD (who the fuck has a PhD in illustration and comics? NO ONE, EAT A BAG OF DICKS, ACADEMIA), I'm booking speaking and workshop gigs. I have had a couple of big, hard conversations with my husband that I had been scared to have and they went great. Yet...I am so sad. And I'm scared for the direction of the country. And I've been immobilized by a knee injury for months and have barely left the house, which is making me crazy, but when I do leave, I remember how much I hate living here now and that my beloved entity mate friend is gone and I cry and if the sun is out I also get enraged by it.

 

Thank you for coming to my presentation, there are no snacks. Let's hope we all get through 2020 intact, personally and democratically speaking. Oh also, don't vote for Bloomberg in the primary, he's a racist dickwad! ❤️

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Crystal

Pre-nexus/divergence personal drama - anyone having any this month? In the past week, I've had: One very sick older cat, who is now getting better, I think/hope. Fingers crossed. This is Daenerys, the cat in my icon. She had a bad flare up of her Inflammatory Bowel Disease and her asthma (she's the dearest teddy bear kitty in the world but also the one with all the auto immune issues!) and got put on steroids. They seem to be doing the trick. 

 

"Sister from another mister" friend got so violently ill with food poisoning that she had to call an ambulance. I rushed over there today (I freelance, thankfully) with a care package and to help her to the pharmacy to pick up her meds.

 

And then I come home to my family room permeated with the smell of burning plastic! It turns out my under-sink hot water heater (delivers hot water to a little spigot so I can have tea, cocoa, etc. right away) gave up the ghost AND shorted out. I unplugged it and am airing out my house because pee-yew. I'm just thankful it wasn't a fire!

 

I hope all this is getting my personal parallel's ya-yas out so I land in the Good Nexus come the 28th!

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Miizle

I had a dream 2 nights ago, that some people, at least TLE members, maybe others, were gathered in a forest. Some were in a physical form but many non-physical or something in between. What was happening, was , for the best of my recollection and understanding, that they were integrating some larger pictures about themselves. This was a little bit "heroic", and a little bit scary although basically i think fairly simple. I was there in the forest, a little bit to the side, and i had some confusion about the process which i can't remember anymore what it was as i didn't get to write it down immediately.
But i'm pretty sure i saw @Troy and @Martha , and i read a sheet of paper, that said " @WolfAmethyst is doing it because of her love for humanity".
And now i thought about the Infinite soul manifestation reducing parallels and got such unpleasant chills for this. Was not happy to read in the state of the planet that the propability is 88%. 😕

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Juni

I had a dream that my mother and I were swimming/wading in terribly polluted deep water and she was helping guide me away from some of the more dangerous bits that I couldn't see underneath.
She visited and helped me with a bunch of my paper files last weekend and I am feeling closer to her lately. 

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petra

Big LOVING Embrace to ALL of YOU !!!!!!!

 

February 28th - 29th -- NEXUS -- DIVERGENCE - This Nexus appears to bring with it a kind of momentum launched by an ultimatum and/or threat that brings clarity and focus. This is not an ominous prediction, but the best way we can describe a pattern coming to a turning point on a collective scale. The reactions to this Nexus would likely generate a divergence for explorations of different outcomes over the next 5 to 10 years.

 

HELPFUL THOUGHTS OVER FEBRUARY:

 

LOVE SAVES THE DAY - February and 2020, in general, look to be about a fairly challenging and chaotic year, but there are no circumstances that can prevent anyone from loving others and themselves and being kind to others and themselves. When you are at your lowest or your most frustrated and angry, or at your most fulfilled and prosperous, take a moment to love. Truly love. Love yourself and love anyone you can with as much sensation and affection as possible to share. Love quietly, love loudly, love in person or far away, but love. When it has been said that “love saves the day,” it was never meant that Love could eliminate all challenges and pain and struggle or suffering. “Love Saves The Day” simply means that you can get through another day, just one more day, and getting through to just one more day is how you can, eventually, “save the day” on a broader scale. There are no guarantees, but when you bring love to your day, it improves the possibilities for everyone. (NOTE: we know this phrase is cliche, but we are not above using the cliches that work.)

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Christian

So since its the 27th today.

 

Anyone have any divergence dream, stories, etc?

 

I haven't noticed anything specific yet.  My allergies and stuff are acting up but then, it was 60 two days ago and is below freezing the last two and going to be in the 50s this weekend.....so there are plenty of non-nexus things happening to account for that.

 

Thoughts, experiences?

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Miizle
3 hours ago, Christian said:

So since its the 27th today.

 

Anyone have any divergence dream, stories, etc?

 

Nothing else except a few separate people have tried to act in a neurotic, demanding way to me personally, not deliberately putting a wedge into our relationship , but i can see how it could or could have easily gone that way. So far i have leaned towards stating my perspective but letting them have theirs. We'll see if there is escalation or not.
I'm also waiting to hear about new work and there will potentially be new daycare arrangements for my daughter if that happens.

Edited by Miizle
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H2nna

February 28th - 29th -- NEXUS -- DIVERGENCE - This Nexus appears to bring with it a kind of momentum launched by an ultimatum and/or threat that brings clarity and focus. This is not an ominous prediction, but the best way we can describe a pattern coming to a turning point on a collective scale. The reactions to this Nexus would likely generate a divergence for explorations of different outcomes over the next 5 to 10 years.

 

This corona panic is getting ridiculous already,  very apocalyptic!🙄  

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Jeroen

Thank you, @petra. Much love to all of you!

 

I have been feeling like what seems to be an infection in my chest and lungs periodically since January but then the symptoms clear up each time. Yesterday, I felt worse than previous times. After resting quite a bit through the night, I am starting to feel better again. Each time it happens, my voice is hoarse. I think it might be related to working through any remaining insecurities I might have relating to my voice and throat region.

 

Other than that, I have been taking either small breaks or cutting back on some of the news reading. Like Michael described in the State of the Planet session, the information glut gets to be too much at times and then it turns into noise. I need to scale back on this to work towards staying healthy.

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KurtisM

Today I felt a dip in my normal energy levels and was so tired I couldnt get out of the car when I got home. So I just slept for an hour, in the car.

Im better now though.

 

It seems thus far that the threat we are facing for this Divergence is the Coronavirus Pandemic being handled by incompetent officials globally, who dont actually have care for the people they're governing.

I mean heck, some of them care more about the falling stock prices than the humans affected. 🙄

 

So... the threat is incompetence?

Edited by KurtisM
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WolfAmethyst
42 minutes ago, KurtisM said:

So... the threat is incompetence?

 

Maybe, but I'm thinking a combination of ignorance and indifference, just as much, if not more so.  

(Even if the hardcore Fuckface Supporters / hardcore Fox news crowd realizes they're wrong about the Trump administrations's "schpiel" about the coronavirus, until people (unfortunately) actually start dying, can any of them be expected to do anything differently?) 

 

Re: the nexus, I live with my widowed father (my brother, sister-in-law, and newborn niece live nearby), and over the 27th and 28th, Dad and I had several productive discussions about many things.  Mostly related to what to do next as a family, as the coronavirus becomes more of a risk factor here in Canada.  Not just in terms of what to have in the house so we can avoid going out into crowds, but a long-overdue honest discussion regarding what to do about certain other people we would normally be in regular contact with...but who have a habit of not washing their hands, not covering their mouths or noses when they cough and sneeze, and who don't seem to care much about how others' health and welfare are impacted by their actions.  It was one of those series of talks I'm glad we had, and am feeling a lot better for it, despite the coronavirus underlying threat which prompted it all.  


I guess a good analogy would be that it's challenging to admit when safety measures are warranted amidst something you yourself have no control over... but it can still be a massive relief to know it's not going to be a battle putting them into place, once you've realized they're needed.

 

 

Edited by WolfAmethyst
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