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Acceptance


AnnaElisa
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A very close friend of mine has Acceptance as goal. (Old/4 Sage- casting Priest, mode passion, spiritualist). For me she is a role model in acceptance - even of what many people would define unacceptable. I'm impressed by her intelligence, calm and her total lack of being judgemental.  I wonder if any of you have experience of if Acceptance could bring challenges in discerning and doing what is good for you? I feel that her beautiful ability to accept and also to separate peoples bad sides from their essences, sometimes makes her stay too long in situations that do harm. I would be thankful for any input!

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1 hour ago, AnnaElisa said:

A very close friend of mine has Acceptance as goal. (Old/4 Sage- casting Priest, mode passion, spiritualist). For me she is a role model in acceptance - even of what many people would define unacceptable. I'm impressed by her intelligence, calm and her total lack of being judgemental.  I wonder if any of you have experience of if Acceptance could bring challenges in discerning and doing what is good for you? I feel that her beautiful ability to accept and also to separate peoples bad sides from their essences, sometimes makes her stay too long in situations that do harm. I would be thankful for any input!

 

@AnnaElisa, with -Ingratiation being the Negative Pole of the Goal of Acceptance, which comes across as people-pleasing, people with this Goal spend most of their life saying "yes" to everything until they learn to say "no". They do this by learning to slide to their complement Goal, Discrimination, which has the Negative Pole of -Rejection and the Positive Pole of +Refinement. Once they flex their "no" muscles, to their satisfaction, they move to the Positive Pole of +Refinement where they learn to make better choices for themselves. They learn to say "yes" when they mean it and to say "no" when they mean it. As they get better and better at this, refining more, they will begin to spend less time in their complement Goal and more and more time back in their chosen Goal of Acceptance with the Positive Pole of +Agape. Sliding (or Hands Across, Hands Through) is one of the most efficient ways to learn to choose and choose to learn. It's a useful technique across all of one's Overleaves, Essence Role, etc. 

 

Here's a blog entry of mine on Truth, Acceptance and Innocence that might be helpful. It's about acknowledging another's truth as being as valuable as your own and learning how to work with the two Expression Axis Goals– Acceptance and Discrimination. 

 

Also, it's unclear to me, is she a Sage-cast Priest or a Priest-cast Sage?

 

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In Acceptance I find myself changing the way I act/speak based on what I think the person I'm interacting with would find acceptable. It is too bad that the personality is so often masked or diminished in trying to avoid rejection. Only with people extremely close to me do I feel safe to be myself because I know that it is unlikely that they would reject me. 

 

It is interesting when you can start to make sense of the combination of Goal, Attitude, Mode, Chief Feature, etc. I only recently realized that my strong compulsion to fulfill others' requests as soon as possible is pretty well-explained by my Acceptance, Idealism, Passion and Impatience LOL. 

 

Anyways, yes, I would say it is a real concern for those in Acceptance to do what is best for them. There are too many times where I tolerated things for far too long. I don't think the problem is discerning what is bad for oneself, but having the confidence to assert one's boundaries. Your friend is lucky to have you as support as she learns how to do this.

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Thank you, @RachelL! Yes, I'm only now beginning to explore how aspects in the overleaves interact.

I think she is one on those people who - for as long as I have known her - has the ability (I have to work myself there) to see the Essence of every person, and that the "bad behaviours" are not really the other person, but side effects when that person does not succeed to be in his or her Essence. Like "it's not really him". Which is beautiful and sometimes bringer of confusion. I'm also working on my acceptance and experience that sometimes it's not easy to make "accepting what is" and "taking no shit" coexist. However, if one goes a little deeper, maybe acceptance could include everything. Accepting that I am not willing to accept this... 🙂  

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  • 4 months later...

I'm trying to make sense of my entire picture here e.g. how my goal/mode/attitude/etc. play together and how my behaviors and reactions (and just about how I relate myself to the world) are a result of these relationships. 

 

My goal is Acceptance while my Attitude is Pragmatism - which I've learned in the Negative Pole exudes Dogma/the idea that one's own approach to situations is the only way in a VERY black/white manner. I'm wondering how to reach +Agape and combat this as I am becoming aware of how my Pragmatic attitude has allowed me to write off traits within myself that I would rather be expressed in the positive pole of Pragmatism whereby I can truly hear out all possibilities and then react given how everyone feels and their perspectives. Acceptance seems to tie quite sweetly into this and I see a lot of potential for me to have them blend into a person I'm proud of. I'm struggling to figure out how to exit my negative pole of Pragmatism and get this harmonious relationship going! 

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