Jump to content

This is TruthLoveEnergy: A Michael Teachings Collaborative Community - We are a collaborative community of studying, sharing, and archiving of The Michael Teachings as channeled through Troy Tolley since 1988.   BASIC INTRODUCTION

 

There are many SERVICES available - Order an Essence & Personality Profile, join a private Personal Open Floor chat with Michael, find out your 9 Pillars, discuss Past Lives, ask about relationships, and schedule time to discuss anything and everything with Michael through Troy.    SCHEDULE A SESSION

Do You Need SUPPORT? - Community Support and Official Support are available for members! Support Tickets receive responses as fast as we can, so please be patient. We are a very small team! Community Support is dependent upon member responses.   SUPPORT TICKETS COMMUNITY SUPPORT

Check out our ever-evolving LIBRARY? - Explore our archiving of decades worth of material channeled through Troy from Michael. This Library is a collaborative effort and shows the power of community.  STUDY LIBRARY

Learn More About Your HOST & CHANNELING - Learn more about Troy through his blog and feel free to ask him about anything related to his work as a channel! You will receive a response ASAP.   30 THINGS ABOUT TROY ASK THE CHANNEL TROY PLAYS GAMES

ENERGY REPORT: October 2022


Troy
 Share

Recommended Posts

On 10/9/2022 at 4:57 AM, Sam K said:

Haven't really been feeling it as yet. Self-Destruction's never been much of a tendency in me, so maybe I'm just not as attuned to the collective energy this time.

Same. I have weeded out whatever self-destructive or greedy patterns I had, ages ago.

 

Unfortunately I can see it in my surroundings. Upstairs neighbour has even less moomies in the valley now than before, and I'm surprised if the next door junkie doesn't manage to overdose this month. Her BF drowned in the river in August, given is drugs had a lot to do with it. I just do my best to not react to anything that happens in home or work. I have a temper (and I can lose it in a second) so it is always an effort I have to conciously make, and it definitely pissess me off, but it is what it is. I have learned not to sabotage myself, and an exellent way to sabotage yourself is to let your temper run rampant.

  • LIKE/LOVE 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12
On 10/8/2022 at 11:30 PM, Troy said:

Allow October to be a month of “baby steps,” or gentle pace, and kind correction. It is not a month to consider the enormity of things but to embrace the little things

 

I broke my leg yesterday. Baby steps it is 😂

  • SAD 9
  • WHAT/WOW! 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TeamTLE
3 hours ago, Nadine said:

 

I broke my leg yesterday. Baby steps it is 😂


Oh shit, I'm so sorry, Nadine!  😞

  • LIKE/LOVE 6
  • SAD 1
  • THANK YOU! 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12
39 minutes ago, Bobby said:


Oh shit, I'm so sorry, Nadine!  <img src=">

 

Thanks, Bobby. It is what it is. I don't like feeling helpless or dependent on others but it's a good exercise in asking for help and letting myself being taken care of. 

  • LIKE/LOVE 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lots of arguing and hurt feelings in my household the last couple of days. I can definitely see that sabotaging energy running through us. Hopefully settling down now.

 

Russia bombing Ukrainian cities. They're going to leave nothing intact. 

  • LIKE/LOVE 1
  • SAD 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12

Speaking of sabotage.  Just found out there are two HR complaints against me.

 

One that I said a bad word in a meeting 2 months ago.

 

Abd another that says I don't know SQL.

 

First....yeah it probsbly slipped out.

 

Second...sql.  The progammung language I learned on the fly when I got this job 7 years ago.  That I have been programming in every day to build the reports for you privillage people.

 

That SQL. That you probably don't know the first thing about.

 

Okay.

 

So I have a feeling now someone in my group is trying to build a case against me.

 

Time to leave.

Edited by Christian
  • SAD 2
  • ANGRY 6
  • WHAT/WOW! 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a wildfire that has exploded in size twice in a short time about 15 miles from my area and people are being fuckwits-driving past the  "Road Closed" signs, crowding trails, trying to fly drones over the fire itself. Getting in the way of the firefighters and response teams, it's maddening to watch.
But people are also offering to help those who might need to evacuate and to take care of livestock as well. 
That's good to see but I really fervently hope it won't be necessary.

  • LIKE/LOVE 8
  • SAD 7
  • WHAT/WOW! 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12
45 minutes ago, Juni said:

There's a wildfire that has exploded in size twice in a short time about 15 miles from my area and people are being fuckwits-driving past the  "Road Closed" signs, crowding trails, trying to fly drones over the fire itself. Getting in the way of the firefighters and response teams, it's maddening to watch.
But people are also offering to help those who might need to evacuate and to take care of livestock as well. 
That's good to see but I really fervently hope it won't be necessary.

 

I went through two devastating wildfires earlier this year. I remember seeing a wall of fire not too far from here that was exacerbated by high winds. Those drones that people fly around forces the air support to become grounded because it creates dangerous conditions for them to fly in. The incident response team posted notices about this during the wildfire, but people did it anyway. It was already difficult enough for them to find a window where the wind was calm enough to send out air support and people flying drones made that situation even more difficult.

 

I hope that the firefighter and response teams can contain the fire in your area soon. One of the things I have seen with the hot shot crews is that they do an incredible job of helping to contain fires in even the worst of conditions.

  • LIKE/LOVE 16
Link to comment
Share on other sites

October 7th I felt a sudden, immediate shift into full-on depression in the middle of the day that surprised mee -- so I too can validate feeling the shift. I'd been relatively fine up until that point, though I'd made a choice that day that prioritized avoidance rather than facing my fears. The sudden emotional shift felt like it came out of nowhere, but it also made me consider the choice I'd made that Friday and recognize how I was sabotaging myself. Which I knew I was doing, and it's a pattern I tend to fall into (withdrawal when things feel overwhelming or too much or too scary). But the depression just sort of made me realize in that moment how much I had caused that unhappiness in myself.

 

The rest of the weekend was much better, but I definitely am noticing prickliness in both myself and the people I'm working with. Thankfully, so far, it feels like I'm able to navigate through reaction into response. But it's definitely feeling prickly these days!

  • LIKE/LOVE 18
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TeamTLE
On 10/8/2022 at 5:30 PM, Troy said:

As with every “season” where there is a shift into a new emphasis of energy, the entry into that energy will be from the negative pole. In this case, Suicide is the negative pole of Self-destruction. For most of our students, Suicide translates into SABOTAGE. This means that October may undo all that you have nurtured over July, August, and September in terms of possibility, potential, and enthusiasm. You may find yourself reactionary, annoyed, defeated, depressed, angry, enraged, sad, etc., and that your efforts are in vain. THEY ARE NOT IN VAIN. 


I was struck with how Seth’s words from The Way Towards Health echoes Michael’s words about suicide and self-sabotage in this month’s Energy Report. ✨✨✨
 

“The point is that all of the world’s problems also represent great challenges. Young people in particular are needed to work for the promotion of peace and nuclear disarmament, to take up the tasks of deregulating and redistributing food sources, and of encouraging nations to join in such a creative venture. Those are indeed worthy and stirring causes, as noble as any that faced any generation in the past. The world needs every hand and eye, and cries out for expression of love and caring. To devote oneself to such a cause is far more praiseworthy than to steadily bemoan global problems with a sorrowful eye and a mournful voice."

 

“Such thoughts are bound to cause depression. They are also painting a highly prejudiced view of reality, leaving out all matters concerning man’s heroism, love of his fellow creatures, his wonder, sympathy, and the great redeeming qualities of the natural world itself. So such people must change their focus of attention."

 

“Some people might say, “I have a right to die,” when they are arguing the case for suicide. And while this is true, it is also true that the people on your planet need every bit of help and encouragement they can get from each person alive. In a certain sense, the energy of each individual does keep the world going, and to commit suicide is to refuse a basic, cooperative venture."

 

—WTH Part Two: Chapter 11: June 9, 1984

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 12
  • THANK YOU! 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So about me not feeling the energy of this month...well, doesn't mean I'm free from it.

 

I work in an art museum. Some days I'm a cashier, some days I'm a guard, meaning overwatching people watching art (lol?). From the start the "guard"-part of the job stressed me out because people can be so damn pissy. So of course it happened: One Karen of a mother has complained about me to the Very Big Boss-lady because I told her teenage son to stop scratching the wall with his keys. I was so bewildered when I saw what the son was doing (next to his mother) I did not even ask him to stop, I asked "what are you doing?". Boy said, like all teenagers have always said, "nothing!". I just said  "good, continue doing nothing", and then left. My tone might have been a bit harsh. I was tired, and people of all ages can be totally unaware of how to act in an ART MUSEUM. Like bitch, you are not the most important thing here, these pieces of art is.

 

So now I'm on a top of the Big Boss Ladies shit list, and I probably will be until my contract ends in May. Unless they kick me out now. Welp.

  • LIKE/LOVE 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This was a much needed and timely report. Thank you @Troyand Michael of course. 

 

I've noticed my own patterns of self-sabotage forming out of my self dep and actually, thru my 2ndary CF, impatience. I have been incessantly trying to keep current w/ well...current events and particularly, the current political climate, midterms and seeing IF and WHEN the orange turd will finally get nailed. I've noticed tho, how much power I've given to this madness, even to the point of say, if I find out tfg had a bad day with the courts then that translated to me having a GOOD day. ENUF of that noise! I've been driving myself crazy and clearly placing my personal power & energy into sabotage of Self and My Essence. Truth be told, I've been disconnected from my Essence and I'm getting all kinds of messages that finally, are getting thru. In fact today I kept the current events to a minimum, just donated to my 2 favorite candidates, moved on from my impatient doomsday scrolling and instead, tuned inward. Noticing my resistance to this is a big part of the challenge but doing something about it is even more important. 

 

Finally, I really enjoyed so many messages here in this thread and I especially enjoyed @RLW's TedTalk posting, it was a fun yet gentle reminder to practice Loving Kindness to myself and others. 

 

We are in a battle for our democracy here in the U.S., and I have to remember that whichever way things go, we still have our Essence, Michael, Troy & other Michael Channels, each other NO MATTER WHAT. And, we can be a Light for others if/when dark times hit. Turning that Light on within for myself is ESSENTIAL tho. 

  • LIKE/LOVE 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12

So thinking about the above revelation I shared.

 

I think I know who the person is.  This person is very meticulous about their work and is a SQL guy.  He stated a few weeks ago that a meeting got very personal for him and he had to leave the meeting and apparently took the rest of the day off. He seems in my opinion a very gentle guy who is a bit prudish.

 

He also has been doing code reviews for me on the SQL coding I do and I do his.  I also don't have many meetings with him on the regular.

 

So it all starts to line up. He doesn't like conflict, bad language, and want code to be done to specific standards that I never learned.

 

Thus, he would take it to HR for the anonymity and layer of protection.

 

Fuck that guy.

 

****

 

It is interesting though.

 

See, I remember hearing about this from my assigned manager.  He specifically stated do not say anything multiple times in the conversation.

 

I was angry. 

 

I can see now that had I lashed out or started running my mouth as younger me would've it could have ended badly and quickly.

 

Instead I shut up and did my job and laid back. I trust the manager and he said he spent over an hour on the phone with HR explaining I was the best they had at this.

 

I suspect I chose a path away from self-destruction in this case.

 

Now...in other areas my diet has gone completely off the rails because of stressand worry about mom and sister.  Having the imminent death of a loved one hanging out there as a reality and not a though experiment...messes you up.

 

Hell I even reached out and sent a message to my dad who I haven't spoken to physically in 10+ years and only via text now twice in that time because I felt obligated to do so.

 

So for me, this isn't showing up as depression or ideation or anything like that. It seems to be showing up as awareness that this path is self-destructive, this path is not...

 

I am not sure why it seems to be differnt from everyone else. It just seems that way to me.

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 15
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@ChristianI learned SQL on the fly at Dell by having to do it. I had some training on it when available, but it rarely applied to what I used it for normally. Later when I was looking for jobs, the little quizzes they make you do on SQL always ruined me despite being good at actually using it in the real world. 

  • LIKE/LOVE 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, yeah... on Oct 5th I tried to end/sabotage a complicated and very emotional relationshippy situation and to my complete surprise, the other person instantly "de-escalated" the situation.

 

Oct 7th I temporarily moved to my ex home because my child's other parent has to work abroad for a couple of months and couldn't take the cat with him. Being here feels partly good and safe -- it's the home I planned for living with my child, but it's also where divorce happened, so I'm still a bit on guard emotionally. Constantly shifting between feeling like a proper parent in a proper home and recalling the trauma is exhausting, but I'm trying to find a livable balance. The cat fortunately helps with the emotional, such a low deep purr -- so grounding and calming.

 

Oh, and I felt the need to reread O. E. Butler's "Xenogenesis" trilogy, quite fitting in the context of @Connor's Lemurian sessions, AND in the context of the world at large -- how come humans still can't seem to escape the bloody "hierarchy gene" instead of working together for the benefit of all?! And today I read The Atlantic article about how the human voice is scary for most other creatures... Damn, we've been a self-destructive species, but we don't have to be!

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TLE12
10 hours ago, Martha said:

@ChristianI learned SQL on the fly at Dell by having to do it. I had some training on it when available, but it rarely applied to what I used it for normally. Later when I was looking for jobs, the little quizzes they make you do on SQL always ruined me despite being good at actually using it in the real world. 

That's probably a difference between SQL and SAS. Most SAS programmers learned it on the fly without any formal training.  They all know this and so there is more of a if it works go with it.

 

SQL seems to be treated as more rigid by comparison. Like it must be spaced like this. These words must be all CAPS. Etc.

 

In a rare twist, I kinda like boomer programmers better because they tend to have that if it works and you can read it who care what it looks like.

 

Programmers, man. Get 5 in a room leave with 15 opinions on how to do something.

 

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 6
  • LOL 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Security camera saved my ass. Very Big Boss Lady and the Tech Guy went through security footage for the day the boy scratched the wall with key, I could give a rough estimate at what time it happened. Footage showed the boy  had messed with the wall for several minutes before I even saw him, and mother didn't give a shit. So there, Very Big Boss Lady had to admit I was only doing my job, and it is her job to answer to that Karen.

 

Through the whole ordeal I stayed calm and unreactive (I panicked a little inside my head lol). Self- destruction avoided and I still have a job.

  • LIKE/LOVE 11
  • THANK YOU! 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TeamTLE
1 hour ago, Christian said:

SQL seems to be treated as more rigid by comparison. Like it must be spaced like this. These words must be all CAPS. Etc.

I never had that experience with SQL. Definitely you need to enter the commands completely, correctly and in the proper order. We had an enormously large data base, so our issues with SQL were always that the sequence of commands could make a very big difference in processing time -- as in (many) hours vs. minutes. And sometimes we didn't know which sequence would work best until we had tried alternatives in test cases. For smaller data bases it seemed pretty flexible. 

 

However, I suspect there are system-specific routines that might be more rigid, and sometimes coordinating apps have really specific requirements. 

 

I don't have experience with SAS to compare. 

  • LIKE/LOVE 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TeamTLE
On 10/8/2022 at 5:30 PM, Troy said:

Self-destruction is the fear of being worthless, fear of having no value or meaning, that life is a waste or that life is being wasted on themselves. We see many of our students moving through the difficult territory of questioning the value and meaning of life in the face of so many distractions, disruptions, demands, and disappointments. Self-destruction brings to the surface all that diminishes the value and meaning of life or the value and meaning of a relationship, or another person, or the self. The state of the world at the moment allows Self-destruction to find an easy path to the surface and we do not know of any student who has not been or will not be touched by these questions.

 

I feel for this man. I added a Q&A below that I had with Michael in 2012 about having a fear homelessness.
 

Ontario man applying for medically-assisted death as alternative to being homeless

 

A 54-year-old St. Catharines man is in the process of applying for medical assistance in dying (MAID) not because he wants to die, but because social supports are failing him and he fears he may have no other choice.

 

https://toronto.citynews.ca/2022/10/13/medical-assistance-death-maid-canada/?

 

From a POF on November 18, 2012

 

Maureen: If there is time... I had an “a-HA” moment when you said the following to Brian on November 11, 2012, at the Michael Speaks Open Floor. “Taking in these refugees, if you will, was powerful in its impact on our students' empathy, as the "memories" of leaving your own home world was called up in the Instinctive Center.”
 

I had been wondering why at least two of us (Geraldine and me) had listed Homelessness as one of our fears in the Wholeness of Soul course. When I heard this from you – it made so much more sense. Is our collective “memory” related to my fear of Homelessness or is it more mundane than that?

 

MEntity: As for the "homelessness," yes, it is deep wounding in the Instinctive Center that has healed, but is still rather sensitive. The "fear" is merely a protective awareness, not a paralyzing effect. It is, obviously, a mundane and natural fear, no matter what the past may have been, but for many of our students, yes, it goes beyond the simple comforts and survival. It is about a sense of profound rejection from a galaxy of Sentience.

 

This is one of the main reasons for lack of space travel at this point in the species' development. It was never a priority, because those who wanted to visit us, did. To aim for return into a galaxy of Sentience who were responsible for our exile was simply not a priority.

 

This will change.

 

That is not a prediction, but a fact.

 

The fear of "homelessness" that is mentioned here is not so much a fear of not having shelter, but a fear that there would be no one who will want to take care of you.

 

Maureen: Yes, that is one of my fears Michael

GeraldineB: Yes, me, too.

Martha: me three

AstraAllen: been there

 

MEntity: It is a deep and distorted reasoning that when one is to a point where a home can not be called one's own, then one has no place, not in terms of physical space, but in terms of being out of the realm of burden, inconvenience, and need.

 

Those Essences who were a part of the great transition are well aware of what went into that process, and it was not easy, neither for those who helped us, or for those who endured that transition to the new bodies and planet.

 

One of the greatest and profound wounding that can happen to a species and to the sentience of that species is displacement or extinction.

 

GeraldineB: How does this affect the entire Design when it was only a small part involved in the transplant?

 

MEntity: Humans were spared the more devastating effects by the fact that not many had been incarnating before this transition, but those who were directly a part of it would carry that wounding.

 

Maureen: ripple effect...

 

MEntity: Beyond this, it was also a collective choice to incarnate on a planet where a great many aeons were used to explore the life of that planet, so the impact is not merely to those who managed to have lives in the body.

 

However, all of this being said, it is no different from the history from within the species where groups are destroyed, displaced, oppressed, enslaved, etc. Eventual evolution resolves all of this.

 

Maureen: That's good to hear!

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 12
  • SAD 3
  • THANK YOU! 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Maureen said:

fear that there would be no one who will want to take care of you.

 

This has been a major trauma in my life, because of my family. So on top of the original wounding, there has been the wounding of my family who made sure I was always aware of not being wanted or taken care of. My mother still makes her best effort to make me feel worthless (sucks to be her, only thing she accomplishes nowadays is that she annoys me). At age of 74 she just can't stop. One lesson was to understand that I did not make her like that, she is like that by choice. My sister turned out to be a carbon copy of her, hope she reads this from Astral.

 

I don't know if it all helped me to mend the original wounding, because I don't feel it anymore. I always know that I will take care of myself, no one else has to,  and if I can't, Essence will step in. I just have to allow it. Less Ego, more Essence connection, and I will be taken care of just fine. I also have a  need to take care of myself.  Even in my most depressive state I haven't stop doing it because I find it almost impossible to abandon myself that way. Is this again some Kingly side of me or am I just lucky to be so resilient? I once had to take a psyche evaluation, and the psychiatrist doing the evaluation pointed out that I scored exceptionally high in resilience.

  • LIKE/LOVE 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/13/2022 at 4:40 AM, Evelin said:

And today I read The Atlantic article about how the human voice is scary for most other creatures... Damn, we've been a self-destructive species, but we don't have to be!

 

Interesting article. Of note to me is that the fear appears to have little direct connection to any proximal harm being done by humans. It's like animals intuitively understand that we're a "high-impact" species, that we cause massive changes to the ecosystem (and thus ultimately to ourselves) just by being there, doing human things. It's one thing for an invasive species to hunt another to extinction, or for a disease carried by a species to throw off the equilibrium of a biome; it's quite another for entire aquatic food webs to be wiped out in the relative blink of an eye, entirely by accident, simply because a population of humans wanted some water and built a dam.

 

The possession of power is an intrinsic threat to those who lack it, regardless of how it's actually used.

Edited by Sam K
  • LIKE/LOVE 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/8/2022 at 9:18 PM, Kerrin said:

I have been getting the monthly Power Path forecasts from Jose & Lena Stephens for many years now. And the recent ones have been REALLY resonating with me. September's theme was "Crisis" Here is the link for Power Path- their forecasts are free:  https://thepowerpath.com/monthly-forecast/october-monthly-forecast/

Thank-you @Kerrin for the link!  
One of the September articles "Can we live without Crisis?" resonated at my end, too 
Full text here, excerpt below: https://thepowerpath.com/featured-articles/can-we-live-without-crisis/ 
 

CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT CRISIS?

September 16, 2022 By José Stevens (excerpt)

 

Perhaps we need not run from every crisis but can find ways to experience it without resistance.

The simple definition of a crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble or danger.

Often personal crisis dovetails with social crisis and this can create a state of overwhelm.

overwhelm is an internal response and our society is an externally oriented one.

 

To most people crisis is what happens to them from the outside but not what happens on the inside.

In most people’s minds crisis implies victimization, something that comes from the outside to create suffering and loss

 

We all have options in a crisis and neutrality is one of those choices, not that it is necessarily easy. 

Remaining calm in a crisis often saves one’s life.

 

a student confronted the guru. “First you teach that all is one but then

when the tiger showed up you were the first to run and climb a tree.

If all is one then why would you do that?” 

The guru smiled and calmly replied. “Yes, all is one.

I knew that but the tiger had a different idea of what all is one meant. 

For him it meant, I eat you and then we are one.”

 

the reality is that there are many forms of crisis that happen mostly on the inside.

external expressions of an internal crisis are a result of overwhelm.

The executive functions of the brain begin to bog down

with too much stress, too many things to think about and resolve,

and the result is often impulsive action to remove stress resulting in tragic consequences.

 

there are many instances when that very crisis is the shift that they need to change their lives completely

crisis is not necessarily a bad thing

a powerful positive transformation either in regards to emotional balance and well-being

or to awaken the spiritual aspects of someone’s life

 

In these kinds of crises we could say that what the person experiences is 

a kind of dead-end to where they can go with the status quo

They find the limits of what their personality (ego) will allow them to do and

the result is often a shutdown, a sense of hopelessness, and sense that all is lost.

 

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • TeamTLE
On 10/8/2022 at 5:30 PM, Troy said:

HELPFUL THOUGHTS OVER OCTOBER:


A RENEWED ATTITUDE: As October opens up, our students may find themselves having to stop the theft of value and meaning from their lives, efforts, and experiences. It is quite deliberate that we choose the term “theft” because this is precisely what is happening. When Self-destruction is involved, one is either stealing the value and meaning of existence or allowing it to be stolen.

In all cases where the Chief Feature has come to dominate one’s perspective, the key to transformation is in your ATTITUDE. Even if your own Chief Feature is not Self-destruction, you would want to use the positive pole of your Attitude to help you navigate your way back to yourself. Focus on that positive pole and it will be your lifeline out of Self-destruction.

We suggest discussing amongst yourselves the dynamic of your Attitudes and reading up on the positive pole as an emphasis for aligning the entire Personality with Essence. It is time to renew your awareness and intimacy with this core function of the personality.

 

From Beau of the Fifth Column (Justin King), 5th Level Old Server-Cast Priest from Cadre 2, Entity 1. 

 

At 12:47 AM on Oct 15, 2022:  Let's talk about a positive note for the weekend.... 

 

 

  • LIKE/LOVE 6
  • THANK YOU! 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel that I may be channeling Self-destruction into healing, maybe because it's not my CF (Arrogance, Self-dep, Impatience). I realized I still have many things I left unhealed. Mainly... surprise surprise, feeling unworthy of love/life/feeling guilty/taking up space/making myself small/typically Artisan or Self-destruction issues that I thought I was rid of, but that the moments of massive stress I went through on my recent trip to Kazakhstan just revealed them. Self-love starts to be something I can't escape from anymore. But I don't know how to do it. I can't say I was raised by someone who knows how to do it, encouraged it, and "I" was always sort of a ghostly presence rather than an actual person. I love the body I've got, and my skills, although they're deemed useless by society, but I have no idea how to tend to the person on the inside, because I was just never taught how. I just know how to tend to others, and to my own creations. And I rely on them probably too much. 

 

I think that's a rather common thing for Artisans in general, not just people with Self-destruction.

  • LIKE/LOVE 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Troy unfeatured this topic

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...