Gabor Maté, The myth of normal. Trauma, illness & healing in a toxic culture

[Felicitas]

 

https://drgabormate.com/book/the-myth-of-normal/

 

[James D]

Great video. Thanks for sharing this, @Felicitas. 

Edited November 25, 2022 by James D

[Yin-da]

Gabor Mate overleaves

 

Thank you @Felicitasfor this video! 

His perspectives always resonate with me, and his talks and perspectives are really worth spreading and sharing all over in society today.

 

He said the medical system doesn't deal with trauma, and that is so true.

 

Lately I incidentally came by first a TED talk, and then more interviews and talks of Anneke Lucas, survivor of child sex trafficking and ritual satanic abuse, and she shared information about the denial of trauma and what it does to humans and the society. She even met psychologists who did not believe her and her story when she started on her healing process. But her horrific painful story is not everything, it's also about her healing journey, her compassion, her understanding, her higher perspectives, her out of body experiences, her psychic awareness, how trauma is repeated and upheld, pain and trauma in herself, her family, her abusers and more... Today she is a woman closer to the 60'.

(Trigger warning; the talks can be challenging and disturbing, and they are horrific stories, and it might even change your view on the world). 

 

 

Edited November 25, 2022 by Ingun

[Evelin]

Thank you, @Felicitas! My child recently got the ADD diagnosis, I probably have it as well, in the process of finding out, and I'm currently reading Gabor Maté's "Scattered Minds" which is brilliant and reassuring. His entire approach to trauma (which is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation), addiction etc makes such deep sense to me.

 

[Felicitas]

16 hours ago, Evelin said:

Thank you, @Felicitas! My child recently got the ADD diagnosis, I probably have it as well, in the process of finding out, and I'm currently reading Gabor Maté's "Scattered Minds" which is brilliant and reassuring. His entire approach to trauma (which is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation), addiction etc makes such deep sense to me.

 

I agree, it makes a lot of sense to me too. For me, the recognition or resonance I found in his views, is centered around how trauma in the very beginning of life can affect the life later on. In my case having surgery as a very young child and being separated from my parents in the process. I wish you and your child lots of love and that you find ease and relief in or from Gabor’s views. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Felicitas

[Evelin]

1 hour ago, Felicitas said:

how trauma in the very beginning of life can affect the life later on. In my case having surgery as a very young child and being separated from my parents in the process.

 

Yeah, the trauma from stuff that happened to a very young you is often difficult to even realize until something triggers it. I didn't understand so much about myself until a) my father died b) my child was born! Now I'm dealing with my own stuff + generational trauma from both parents, a very long story.

 

What age were you and how long were you separated from your parents? If you want to discuss this at all, that is. I'm glad you found Gabor Maté as well, and I'm glad he has worked through his own stuff enough to be able to help others!

 

I had hip dysplasia and was in plastercast most of my 1st year of life, and I still sometimes feel like my mother looks at me more as a doctor than as a mother... although if she hadn't been a doctor, this might have not been discovered in time and then I might not be able to walk properly. It's always complicated!

I was also hospitalized at age 4, in a life-threatening state, alone! And they only admitted me because my mother was a doctor and was adamant that no, the child didn't eat too many fresh berries, I know her and I'm a doctor, this is serious... so they finally agreed to admit me, but of course she didn't want to leave me there alone, at which the pediatrician(!) told her that if she doesn't lose the attitude, they won't admit me, either! I repeat: not admit a child in a life-threatening state, because for a while it really was touch and go whether I would need surgery or would even survive. That inhumane attitude was yet another "charming" side effect of RU occupation! Of course my mother had trauma from this as well -- as a person (basically for being Estonian), as a doctor and as a mother, which all also influenced me.

 

I'm so done with the inhumanity of humanity, as Michel recently said...

[Felicitas]

11 hours ago, Evelin said:

 

Yeah, the trauma from stuff that happened to a very young you is often difficult to even realize until something triggers it. I didn't understand so much about myself until a) my father died b) my child was born! Now I'm dealing with my own stuff + generational trauma from both parents, a very long story.

 

What age were you and how long were you separated from your parents? If you want to discuss this at all, that is. I'm glad you found Gabor Maté as well, and I'm glad he has worked through his own stuff enough to be able to help others!

 

I had hip dysplasia and was in plastercast most of my 1st year of life, and I still sometimes feel like my mother looks at me more as a doctor than as a mother... although if she hadn't been a doctor, this might have not been discovered in time and then I might not be able to walk properly. It's always complicated!

I was also hospitalized at age 4, in a life-threatening state, alone! And they only admitted me because my mother was a doctor and was adamant that no, the child didn't eat too many fresh berries, I know her and I'm a doctor, this is serious... so they finally agreed to admit me, but of course she didn't want to leave me there alone, at which the pediatrician(!) told her that if she doesn't lose the attitude, they won't admit me, either! I repeat: not admit a child in a life-threatening state, because for a while it really was touch and go whether I would need surgery or would even survive. That inhumane attitude was yet another "charming" side effect of RU occupation! Of course my mother had trauma from this as well -- as a person (basically for being Estonian), as a doctor and as a mother, which all also influenced me.

 

I'm so done with the inhumanity of humanity, as Michel recently said...

Amazing! I had hip dysplasia too! And it was also thanks to my mother that it was discovered in time. I was in a plastercast kind of brace or pant too for quite a long time. Also I was in hospital when around 9 months old. I do not know exactly how long, maybe a few days. @petraknows this probably better because she actually has conscious memories of this. And when she finally was allowed to take me home, she had to turn right around and go back to the hospital with me because It turned out I had developed pleuritis. Apparently it was touch and go for a while, but I made it.

[Evelin]

On 11/28/2022 at 11:50 PM, Felicitas said:

Amazing! I had hip dysplasia too! And it was also thanks to my mother that it was discovered in time.

 

Weird coincidence! Although, statistically, first-born girls are the typical group of hip dysplasia and there's a genetic component, if I recall correctly. Consequently, I had my own daughter triple-checked, thankfully she didn't have it.

 

I'm glad you made it! Hospitals are not good places for actually getting better, is my opinion after spending enough time in them as a kid. And separating small children from their parents should be for severe medical emergencies only and even then only for as short a time as possible...

 

Sorry if this is a stupid question, I haven't had time to participate much in the social aspects of this site, but I'm assuming @petra is your mother?

[Felicitas]

On 12/19/2022 at 1:28 PM, Evelin said:

 

Weird coincidence! Although, statistically, first-born girls are the typical group of hip dysplasia and there's a genetic component, if I recall correctly. Consequently, I had my own daughter triple-checked, thankfully she didn't have it.

 

I'm glad you made it! Hospitals are not good places for actually getting better, is my opinion after spending enough time in them as a kid. And separating small children from their parents should be for severe medical emergencies only and even then only for as short a time as possible...

 

Sorry if this is a stupid question, I haven't had time to participate much in the social aspects of this site, but I'm assuming @petra is your mother?

yes, she is. And no worries, not a stupid question at all. I am on TLE too first and foremost to learn what Michaels teach. The social aspect is nice, but not the most important feature. Although I do appreciate very much that in the course of being on TLE I get to interact with you and the other members of TLE, most of whom I might not have interacted with without this meeting place.
 

yup, I agree with you: hospitals are great for acute stuff, but otherwise not a good place to be in, especially as a child. 

Edited December 20, 2022 by Felicitas