20120818 OMW: Honest and Accurate Self-Assessment

[Kasia]

OMW - Aug 18, 2012 - Honest and Accurate Self-Assessment

 

Channel: Troy Tolley

 

Note from Troy: 

This class idea came from my asking Michael about a personal assessment. I wanted to know "how I'm doing" with this life.

 

Of course, they turned it all around on me and pointed out that they can't really do an assessment like that, not only because they have no interest in describing FOR us what we should or could be doing vs what we are doing, but they also pointed out that their entire teaching is based on having those tools for self-assessment already!

 

So they pointed out that the Positive and Negative Poles were already a way to gauge where we are with ourselves.

 

Still, I wanted to know if they would describe a method, then, for how to go about doing that. They didn't have to do the work, but maybe elaborate upon a method. So get your pens and paper all set.

 

Make a list of: [this thought was never completed]

 

Make a note of the Positive and Negative Poles for each of these next to each. Make sure you are leaving room for going back to write next to the list items.

 

I'm going to turn the class over to Michael for the next part because I think they can explain the method much more eloquently, but also as you go through the assessment, they'll have more access to you for help with it.

 

********

 

MEntity:
Hello to each of you. We are here. We can help facilitate your interest in self-assessment, which is not a new practice for any of you, though these more technical methods may be.

 

Each of you are self-assessing on levels that tend to be fairly constant.

 

Sentience tends to be built from this capacity for self-assessment.

 

Consciousness grows from self-assessment processes, and this evolves the Essence over lifetimes.

 

However, a great amount of self-assessment processes are never completed until Review. Only half of the process is usually initiated, with the second half rarely completing the circuit.

 

We use the term "self-assessment" specifically here, as this is a process of judgment of yourself on your own terms.

 

As we have said many times, Judgment is a healthy function of Personality and consciousness, and is, in fact, vital. The fear of Judgment generates a couple of the Chief Features, but it is not Judgment that is the problem there; it is the fear of it.

 

Judgment is natural and healthy.

 

There is a great difference between condemnation and judgment.

 

So this is the first thing to differentiate. Your Self-Assessment is not self-condemnation.

 

It is a critical eye, and is, therefore also, self-criticism, but again, criticism is a healthy tool, and is not the same thing as condemnation.

 

Most tend to pass off self-condemnation as self-assessment and this makes the process of self-assessment a tedious, exhausting, and fruitless task for your consciousness to sustain.

 

Self-assessment is not asking "what am I doing wrong?" "what am I doing right?" "what needs to be fixed?" Self-assessment is best understood as Self-understanding.

 

The better you understand yourself the better you can then make choices from there regarding your emotions, actions, thinking.

 

Our system is set up so that this self-understanding is encouraged and made accessible, but we do know that even this can become a mere batch of words that once meant something and then become static.

 

Our Teaching is alive, however, and is revived by your participation and use of it, no matter how static the meaning or words have become for you.

 

Self-understanding and self-assessment are not static, either. One does not reach a completed point of saturation for either of these. It is on-going.

 

Time periods, experiences, relationships, careers, etc. constantly prompt relative self-assessments.

 

There is no end-point of enlightenment. No blissful plateau.

 

There is always more.

 

[GeraldineB says plaintively] . . .No Nirvana?

 

MEntity:
There are states of bliss and "nirvana," but as with any state, they are not static.

 

After the differentiation between self-assessment and self-condemnation, the understanding for what self-assessment is would be helpful. Self-assessment is simply an understanding of your nature, qualities, and/or abilities at the moment.

 

What you do with that information is a different thing from self-assessment. For instance, if your self-assessment reveals a state that you wish to improve upon, then that effort to improve upon it is a step beyond self-assessment.

 

This is important to understand because self-assessment is passive. It is much like a computer doing a self-assessment to reveal its state, but what you do with that state after it is revealed is a different thing.

 

This is important because self-assessment is not something that should be considered a matter of good or bad, right or wrong.

 

As long as one considers self-assessment to be something that would only reveal what is wrong, then the process can tend toward self-condemnation.

 

Self-assessment only reveals what IS.

 

This may seem a simple idea, but as you assess yourself, understand yourself, the subtle importance of this may become more obvious.

 

And so we will begin.

 

First: ask yourself why you want to understand yourself right now?

 

Turning this assessment directly back toward you as you direct this assessment can help bring that basic state of wholeness necessary for true self-assessment.

 

We encourage you to really feel this question. It is not just an intellectual process. Self-assessment is an honesty that is often avoided or ignored or taken for granted. Bring this honesty into your awareness by meaning the question when you ask it: Why do I want to understand myself right now?

 

[Maureen] Do you want us to tell you Michael -- or just keep it in mind?

 

MEntity:
You may share your responses, if you choose to do so. We have posed the question to Troy so that he can participate, as well.

 

Troy's response is as revealing as your own responses may be: "because someone has to."

 

*** Responses ***

 

[Martha] So I can: be happier and healthier and get the most out of my life; be content and confident and find a healthy intimate relationship; accomplish the things I want – writing, being a good mother, being good at my job. So I can feel good.

 

[Janet] I am entering a new phase of my life. I have choices to make on which directions I want to take or to plan for.

 

[Maureen] True Acceptance (not just the words...)

 

[GeraldineB] Hmmmmm . . .Why? Answer could be "because this workshop is being offered today," or "it's part of an ongoing process that I've been working on for sometime." In general, my "goal" is to complete this Soul Age Level all the way through the 7th IM Review, and I think this needs a regular assessment on my conscious contact with Essence.

 

[Bobby] Well, Essence has a plan and in order for me to help fulfill that, I need to understand myself.  Also, just from a Personality perspective, it helps to not feel like a leaf blowing in the wind.

 

MEntity: We will point out here that explanations are not the same thing as answers. We do not wish to throw your responses into question, but we will ask you, for the sake of this workshop: how much of your response was an explanation that resisted or cloaked honesty, and how can your response be put into words that are a more direct, simple truth. Or is your response standing as it is?

 

[GeraldineB] A simpler answer is "I seek the truth"

 

MEntity:
Look below the explanations to see if there is something that can be described with more honesty.

 

That was for everyone, not in response to Geraldine's simplified answer.

 

[GeraldineB] oh, heck, and I was feeling so special -- was looking for a one-word response

 

MEntity: Self-assessment cannot be a completed circuit without honesty. And by "honesty," we mean the inclusion of all of your bodies, not just treating this as an intellectual exercise.

 

[Martha] I want to heal the damaged or neglected parts of me

 

MEntity:
Now we are seeing honesty.

 

We are seeing answers.

 

[Maureen] If I can "honestly" Accept my self and others -- that would be my goal.  Wait -- it IS my Goal!

 

[StudentX] I want to like myself more

 

[Janet] I'm looking for practical means of using the Michael teachings in everyday life. This self-assessment seems of a practical nature.

 

MEntity: It will not be this complicated or complex in further self-assessments, but this challenge may help reveal to you how you may have been going about self-assessment over this lifetime, so far.

 

[Janet] And I stand by my original answer.

 

MEntity:
We will leave it to each of you to determine the degree of honesty in your answers, though we did offer the initial round of challenge for the sake of the possibility that there may be more honest and direct answers.

 

And to help point out the difference between explanations and answers. Explanations tend to be elaborate, while answers are quite simple and direct, in this case, at least.

 

Before we continue: if any of you would like to volunteer yourself up for our feedback about your responses as we progress, we are capable of providing this, but we will not do so as interference or imposition, and it must be understood that any feedback is merely our interpretation, not a trumping conclusion.

 

We will start, then, with your initial responses to the first question.

 

For Troy, we would suggest his response to "why do I want to understand myself right now?" might be a bit more honest in the phrasing of "because I always feel misunderstood."

 

These suggestions, by the way, are not to say that some need correction over others. We do not wish to imply that. We are practiced in distilling information, and we only offer up a different way of saying what you may have already said.

 

What we will share with you today, then, is a means for using self-assessment at any point in your life, and can be used within any context.

 

For instance, Janet's is direct and honest, but may be phrased differently as, "because I want and need to make confident choices again." or "because I want to trust myself again."  Martha's is direct and honest, as well, but may be phrased differently as, "because I'm tired of thinking and feeling that I'm damaged and need healing."

 

[Janet] That's fair.

 

[Martha] agreed

 

MEntity: Your feedback about our feedback is welcomed, of course. You may call us out for being completely "off." We would not take offense.

 

[Martha] I don't think I'm totally damaged Just in some areas

 

MEntity:
That is "good news."

 

StudentX's is direct and honest, but might be phrased as, "because I want to LET myself like me." She is already capable of liking herself, but may still be working out how to permit this and experience it.

 

[StudentX] hmmm...:)

 

[Maureen] Well -- I'm tired of "trying to Accept" -- everything -- ALL the time -- I just want to "Accept" -- I want it to be easier.

 

MEntity:
Geraldine's is honest and direct, as well, and may be phrased as, "because now I can."

 

Maureen's is honest, though broad in implication, and might be phrased as, "because I want it to be okay with the fact that not everything or everyone is okay."

 

[Maureen] Yes!

 

MEntity:
Combining our feedback with your own is, at least, food for thought and heart, as you proceed with your self-assessment.

 

The next part of your self-assessment is to determine where you may be leading from in your Personality's set of Overleaves.

 

Here are the questions that will help you determine this. One of the following questions would tend to stand out as dominant for you right now:

 

1. Do I find that I am focused more on accomplishing, doing, and/or planning something?
2. Do I find that I am more focused on trying to understand why or how I, and other people, see and experience the world right now?
3. Do I find that I am more focused on resolving conflicts with others, keeping the peace, being intimate and available to someone, or others?

 

You may find that each of these resonate, because they speak to the three key elements of Personality, but one should tend to be the most dominant in your awareness at the moment's assessment.

 

*** RESPONSES ***

 

[Martha] one

 

[Bobby] it use to be #1 but definitely #2 currently

 

[Maureen] #3 is the highest with #2 running second.

 

[GeraldineB] #2

 

[Janet] I am uncertain. It's either ONE or TWO but I lean toward TWO.

 

MEntity: Troy would reply that his is 2.

 

[StudentX] #1, normally but also tend to #2

 

MEntity:
ONE reveals that you may be leading your life from the GOAL; TWO reveals that you may be leading your life from the ATTITUDE; and THREE reveals that you may be leading your life from the MODE.

 

Understanding from where you are leading your life can reveal to you most-precisely where the hub of your Personality is at the moment, with the rest of your Personality traits revolving around that hub.

 

Your revolving Personality traits are fed by that hub. All energy taken in from the life is collected by that hub and funneled to the rest of Personality.

 

[GeraldineB] Question -- Since my mode is Observation, I don't see how that would ever be the chosen method for THREE

 

[GeraldineB] I guess that's not a question as much as a comment needing some explanation

 

MEntity:
Geraldine, if you were to have found that your relationships were the dominant focus in the life, then Observation would have been leading your Personality, feeding the rest of your Personality. It would mean that you Clarity or Surveillance are affecting your relationships.

 

Understanding where you might be in the poles of Observation would help you to understand those relationships.

 

Do you wish to change your response to "3?"

 

[GeraldineB] Previously, you've said that I tend to be overly in Surveillance, and it's true, relationships aren't the most important thing to me at this time

 

[GeraldineB] No.

 

[GeraldineB] I'm very much in 2

 

[GeraldineB] I just couldn't even see how to apply Observation to the 3rd option

 

MEntity:
Relationships and relating are always important. One is always relating, and therefore, everyone as a Mode. One may say that relationships may not be the distraction at the moment, or not the focus, but they will always be important.

 

Right now, there is a peaceful state for most of your relationships, so they are not the distraction, but this has not always been the case, and then Observation would have been leading.

 

But we digress.

 

[Maureen] actually Michael -- to me 2 and 3 are entwined.  It's hard to 3 without doing 2 as well.

 

MEntity:
It would be true that none of these can be done without the others being involved.

 

However, one would be dominant in focus.

 

For example, if 2 is in focus, then it would be that one is focusing on understanding or dealing with differences in perspective and philosophy as a way to help 1 and 3. If 3 were in dominance, it might mean finding commonalities, resolving distance, and emphasizing resonance as a way to help 2 and 1.

 

We will put this a different way:

 

ONE is "leading with one's Motivations and Actions, and/or aiming to understand another's Motivations and Actions"
TWO is "leading with one's Philosophies and Perspectives, and/or aiming to understand another's Philosophies and Perspectives"
THREE is "leading with one's Presence and Impact, and/or aiming to understand another's Presence and Impact"

 

Obviously, Motivation, Action, Philosophy, Perspective, Presence, and Impact cannot be isolated, but there are tendencies for emphasis.

 

[Maureen] It sounds like whatever is dominant in your Nine Needs might be showing up here.

 

[Maureen] ...at this time

 

MEntity:
If one is leading by the Goal, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges regarding what you are trying to accomplish. If one is leading by the Attitude, there would tend to be an emphasis on conflicts and challenges to how you see the world and other people. If one is leading by the Mode, there would tend to be conflicts and challenges within your relationships and realms of intimacy.

 

We realize the differentiations may be difficult to assess, but keep in mind that this is only for the sake of helping you understand the whole of you, not to choose one over the other as a means to cut out the other two.

 

After our elaborations, do each of you still find your emphasis to be your original choice?

 

*** RESPONSES ***

 

[StudentX] Definitely, #1.

 

[Bobby] yes, 2

 

[Janet] At work, I am leading by the goal. Otherwise, I believe I am leading by attitude at present. I'd hope that work is not my life. I'm trying to keep work from being my primary focus anyhow.

 

[GeraldineB] Yes, still 2 "at this time"

 

[Martha] still 1

 

[Maureen] It may be more with #2 -- but I keep on getting pulled into #3 -- and I would rather be doing #1

 

MEntity: Janet, this is an important differentiation: those areas of the life that are necessary obligations are still important to consider, but would not be the defining factor for assessing your emphasis.

 

[Janet] Agree, Michael, so I think I am primarily focused on #2.

 

[Martha] I can see where I've spent a lot of time on 2 and 3, but I think 1 is in the forefront at the moment

 

MEntity: Your emphasis is what you find yourself drawn to on your own, not what you find yourself obligated to address. For instance, one may be involved in projects at work where #1 is dominant, but underneath all of this, and persistent beyond the workplace, is the challenge of different perspectives and philosophies in emphasis.

 

[GeraldineB] I was using the prism of my interest in TLE and the teachings as this is where my preference is showing up

 

MEntity:
There are no "right" answers in your self-assessment, and one can always assess again at another time for ever more insight, trying out different paths of assessment.

 

The point of discerning which Overleaf is leading is to help put into context where your life is at the moment.

 

This means that if you are having problems, troubles, obstacles, there are solutions to be found on what is determining your life right now.

 

For instance, if Janet is looking to bring more confidence to her choices, and she has determined that Attitude is leading, then it is not about what she should or should not DO, but a matter of how she THINKS about what she is doing.

 

If Maureen finds herself torn between the aim for emphasis on her Goal, but finds herself pulled into areas related to her MODE, but has determined that ATTITUDE is leading, then it is helpful to understand that the solutions (and problems) may be found in how she THINKS about what she is DOING and FEELING.

 

[Maureen] that makes sense

 

[Janet] I'm considering that. So since my attitude is Stoic, I should strive for more tranquility in what I'm thinking?

 

MEntity:
This may seem quite simplistic, but it is profound in its implications, and helps to hone directly into the heart, head, or body of where you are in your life right now.

 

Using our associations of #1=Goal=DOING, #2=ATTITUDE=THINKING, and #3=MODE=FEELING, we suggest each of you now state your first assessment addressing the response to that first question.

 

For example:

 

Troy - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I feel misunderstood." Why do you feel misunderstood? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING."

 

In your own words, share your own dialog of self-assessment in a similar way, if you wish.

 

*** RESPONSES ***

 

[Martha] I want to do something about what I think and feel about being damaged and needing healing (and I am!)

 

[Janet] I want to understand myself because of what (how) I think about my ability to made good choices for myself.

 

[Martha] and I want to look honestly to see if there's something I'm missing or avoiding that could help that process

 

[StudentX] I'm conflicted about thinking I should be "doing more", in general, and accepting that what I do is enough.

 

[GeraldineB] Ok -- using Michael's suggestion: "Because I can now" -- in combo with "I seek the Truth" -- Using #2 Attitude/Thinking -- Truth removes the "should" from Idealism -- it allows Idealism to be "all" as in coalescence

 

MEntity: Janet - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I want to feel confident, and trust, in my choices again." Why do you not feel confidence and trust in your choices right now? "Because of what I THINK about what I am DOING and FEELING."

 

[Janet] Okay I'll buy that

 

MEntity: We are not looking for answers, yet. Just assessments.

 

[GeraldineB] hmmm . . .my brain's cat's cradle has knots in it

 

MEntity:
Geraldine - Why do you want to understand yourself right now? "Because I can." Why can you now? "Because of what I THINK about what I'm DOING and FEELING."

 

These examples should help you to streamline your assessment to this point, then.

 

[GeraldineB narrows her eyes at Michael] -- that seems like some philsophical circle thinking

 

[Bobby]  you did suggest # 2  lol

 

[Janet] I have to admit to some skepticism as well Geraldine, but I'm waiting for the application of the assessment.

 

[Janet] But of course I may be THINKING about it all too much.

 

[GeraldineB] LOL -- Obviously, I am too

 

[GeraldineB] so, let's keep on going

 

MEntity:
We will address the confusion or "skepticism" here, before continuing.

 

There is no circular philosophy here. It matters what you think about what you do and feel. It matters what you do about what you think and feel. It matters what you feel about what you do, or think. At various points in the life, one matters more than the others, or dominates and leads more than the others. Whatever dominates, defines the others.

 

If you think your actions and feelings are useless, pointless, and making no difference, that is very different from thinking your actions and feelings are useful, purposeful, and make a difference.

 

If you do not do anything with or about your feelings and thoughts, this is very different from doing something about and with your feelings and thoughts.

 

[GeraldineB] Ok -- I get that -- makes sense

 

MEntity:
If your feelings about what you do and think are apathetic, frustrated, or angry, this is very different from the feelings of enthusiasm, eagerness, and excitement.

 

Geraldine, what you THINK NOW makes a big difference in why you "can understand" more now. There was a time when what you thought actually kept you from being able to understand yourself and others.

 

[GeraldineB] I totally agree with that -- I do understand that perception

 

[GeraldineB] I've really been working on imprinting and conditioning

 

MEntity: Janet, there have been other times in your life where the question of what to do was not so much of concern, because there were parameters in place that took the place of having to really "think" about how you felt or what you were "doing."

 

[Janet] This is true. My lack of confidence now I think is associated with how wide open my choices may be.

 

MEntity:
As your consciousness has grown, so has your self-consciousness, and parameters are far more inclusive of what is important to you, not just what you should or can do.

 

It is now not just a matter of CHOICE, but a matter of what you THINK about what you are choosing.

 

[Janet] Agreed. I think I see where you're going now.

 

MEntity: "Think," being key.

 

[Janet] lol. It's a common verb for me.

 

MEntity:
Now, look to the Overleaf that is specific to this assessment.

 

Each of you can now share that Overleaf that is relative to the leading Goal, Attitude, or Mode.

 

*** RESPONSES ***

 

[StudentX] Growth.

 

[GeraldineB] Attitude - Idealism (sliding to Skepticism regularly)

 

[Janet] Attitude is Stoic

 

[Bobby] Pragmatist

 

[Maureen] Realist

 

[Martha] Flow

 

MEntity:
Keeping in mind that the aim is assessment, not solution (just yet), it may be clear to you where you are in your Doing, Thinking, or Feeling right now.

 

Do not consider where you "slide."

 

For StudentX: Is your DOING in Confusion, or is it Evolving? For Geraldine: is your THINKING in Naivety, or in Coalescence? For Janet: is your Thinking Resigned, or Tranquil? and so on.

 

[Janet] My thinking is rarely resigned but not always tranquil.

 

[StudentX] I believe that I strive a lot.

 

[GeraldineB] My thinking is in coalescence

 

[Martha] I don't think I'm in inertia

 

[StudentX] Striving is growing.

 

MEntity: Some Poles may need elaboration for clarity. We will offer some feedback.

 

[StudentX] or evolving.

 

[Martha] I think I need more on "suspension"

 

MEntity: For instance, "resigned" in this context does not mean that you have stopped thinking, but rather that your Thoughts may have you resigned from the process of choice, instead of having you peaceful and tranquil about it.

 

[Martha] Barbara's Taylor's chart says "free-flowing" for the pos pole of Flow, but I have "suspension" on my spreadsheet

 

MEntity: Geraldine, it is true that your Thinking now tends to put the pieces together that allow you to understand much better now, but when you cannot understand, it can be because of naivety, which is when the pieces were expected to come together in a way that is failed or disappointed.

 

[GeraldineB] yes -- a lifelong "work in progress" -- getting better

 

MEntity: Martha, we find the more meaningful terms for the Poles of Flow to be Freedom and Inertia, or Momentum.

 

[Martha] OK, I like those better

 

[Martha] I can see where Momentum applies better than Inertia

 

MEntity:
The difference being: Freedom is much like having a paddle for the boat that is moving with the flow of life, as there may not be much that can be done about that flow, but the steering is all your choice. Inertia, or Momentum, is being without the paddle, forced to a narrow trajectory, or using the paddle to try to go against that flow.

 

For the most part, this process of self-assessment can be quick and easy at any point in the life, and will often tend to lead to a realization of patterns in your tendencies for challenges and solutions.

 

Again, this assessment is not for anything other than grabbing a quick snapshot of where you are with yourself.

 

By now, in this practice of assessment, one would have been able to determine the motivation for the quick assessment and the basic context of the life or circumstance at the moment of assessment.

 

Understanding yourself in this way can then help you to make more conscious choices regarding where you are, where you want to go, what you want to do, be, feel, etc.

 

It can also free you from self-condemnation, and free you from the fear of judgments.

 

For example:

 

If Janet wants to understand herself because she wants to return to a sense of confidence in her choices, and reveals that the strength and weakness in her confidence is being dominated by her THINKING, Intellect, and current Philosophy, which is within the spectrum of her Attitude between Tranquility and Resignation, she now knows enough about herself to make more conscious (and confident) choices.

 

What she does with this assessment is her choice, but she might realize that she has only resigned from her strength of confidence and trust in her choices, and and that it might just be time to surrender to, or find Tranquility in, the same trust and confidence that has always served her so well.

 

Your assessment is not an answer or solution, but a basis for finding your answer or solution, if one is wanted or needed.

 

If StudentX wants to understand herself because she wants to let herself like herself more, and she has assessed that it is what she is DOING that is leading her life right now, and that her Doing is either leading her into Confusion, or Evolving her, she can then pay more attention to what she is already DOING, or needs to do, as a means to support her permission to like herself more.

 

Are each of you putting all of this together in a way that is useful and meaningful?

 

[Maureen] yes

 

[Martha] yes

 

[StudentX] Yes

 

[GeraldineB] Yes, very useful -- trying to reword it so I might pass it on

 

[Janet] Is a possible solution -- to switch focus from thinking to doing or feeling or from doing to thinking or feeling -- as a way to move forward, if that seems appropriate to the situation?

 

MEntity:
All of what we share tends to be simple equations, even if elaborated upon in words, and "plugging in" the key elements can bring each of you to your own understanding, assessment, and solutions.

 

Janet, for the purposes of Self-assessment, you want to understand what you are already using, or leading the life through, and this tends to be where the strength lies, even if it is also the source of weakness at the moment, however, it will always be important to flank that with the other two.

 

If you are already leading the life by what you think about what you are doing or feeling, then shifting the emphasis to the doing will not change what you think about what you are doing.

 

[Janet] I tend toward thinking always, which leads me to ask if our tendency is tied to our centering. I believe I am intellectually centered.

 

MEntity: However, the key here would be that when you take action, or DO, that you actively choose what to THINK about that.

 

[Janet] You have given a lot to think about today!

 

MEntity:
For instance, you may not know what is beyond the choices that must be made in the near future, but you know from experience that you CAN make those choices, and that is an important part of what you THINK about making choices.

 

One's Centering and Part do tend to help bring the corresponding Overleaf into lead for the life.

 

There are other rounds and paths of self-assessment that can be done, and we will share these over time. The one we shared today is the most immediately effective and far-reaching in its impact, if one were to truly comprehend and apply its beautiful simplicity.

 

We will conclude here for today. Good day to each of you.