Reparations – half art project, half social experiment

[Kasia]

I found a story in The Guardian today and it really moved me. It's about a website called Reparations, described as "a half art project, half social experiment, the idea of which is this: people of color can request help or services, and others (white people, other people of color, anyone) could offer help."

 

There's such beauty in small acts of kindness, and given everything that's going on in the world lately, this makes it even more so. I also adore how the artist that created this handled trolls. "She has set up a 'troll fund' where, for every abusive message the site receives, people pledge to donate a dollar to someone in need. The tagline for the fund is: 'Hate can buy groceries now.'" Talk about bringing some levity to the whole thing! 

[Nick Sweeney (Babylove)]

It is hard to write about this right now because of all the emotion and crying that just happens when I least expect it.  The wound is very present and open and raw for me right now.  And it has been a surprise for me because I have always been the black boy and man who never wanted to be "the angry black man" or the black boy/man with a chip on his shoulder.  I've prided myself in that.  And it isn't all pride.  Some of it has been simply my mature and old soul wisdom and guidance peeking through even from a young age.  My father would always try to teach me to distrust white people.  In his eyes, I should immediately bond with people of color, especially black people.  This never made sense to me because I was acutely aware of the truth that ALL white people should not be distrusted AND ALL people of color should not be trusted!  I knew that people were individuals and some were "good" and some were "bad" no matter what their color.  Some I would get along with and some I wouldn't.

 

When I first learned about slavery in high school (there may have been some mention of it before that, but not in any significant way that would allow me to truly understand it and "get it"), I remember feeling very odd.  I felt as if all of the sudden, I was singled out and made to be different from everybody else in a way that I had absolutely no control over.  I truly couldn't wrap my mind around this at the time.  Even the principal of my very liberal and progressive private school trying to help and ask all of the students of color how we felt and what needed to be talked about in order to help us feel more "safe," made me angry and made me feel like an alien.  I just thought, "why does this question even need to be asked???"  Just the question alone reminds me that I am different and somehow not on equal-footing with everyone else.

 

And then I got angry...but never "too" angry.  Just enough to relate to the reality of my racial/tribal history in this country.

 

But I have never truly felt the wound.  Never cried and felt my own pain.  I have never truly grieved this reality's impact on me and all of my colored brothers and sisters.

 

Until this year.  38 years it has taken me.

 

And now I feel it acutely.

 

And I will just grieve and let the tears flow and see how I am inspired to respond in the world at this time of rawness and potential for healing. I think I can best act through music and song.  The easiest way for me to express and heal is through song.

 

Which brings me to my gratitude for this post Kasia.  Thank you.  And gratitude for everyone involved in the spirit of this project and all the projects going on around the world that are meant to help, heal and infuse kindness where it can be felt to be needed and do some good.

 

This is such a simple thing and so beautiful.

 

A little piece of me is healing just from reading this article and knowing that this action has been taken and that there are people out there who respond with kindness.

 

What else is there to do in response to the wounds of this world but acts of kindness and goodness?

 

I needed this reminder that there is so much goodness in this world.

[Kasia]

You got me all teary-eyed, too. Thank you for sharing your story, @Nick Sweeney (Babylove). ?

[Heidi]

On 8/5/2016 at 3:28 PM, Nick Sweeney (Babylove) said:

 I felt as if all of the sudden, I was singled out and made to be different from everybody else in a way that I had absolutely no control over.  I truly couldn't wrap my mind around this at the time.  Even the principal of my very liberal and progressive private school trying to help and ask all of the students of color how we felt and what needed to be talked about in order to help us feel more "safe," made me angry and made me feel like an alien.  I just thought, "why does this question even need to be asked???"  Just the question alone reminds me that I am different and somehow not on equal-footing with everyone else.

 

This gave me chills. That was your Essence, most definitely. The innocence of you. The part of you that 'knows' the truth, regardless of your age. 

I think back to certain thoughts I had as a child...sometimes while laying in bed at night pondering 'the world,' and sometimes when a teacher or person of authority had something to say that I didn't feel was right in my heart, and I know that was true wisdom. It's amazing how even a child can remember the truth. It's proof to me that evolution exists and nothing is ever forgotten. Thanks for sharing, Nicholas! :)

[Troy]

I feel like I didn't wake up to the direct or indirect struggle for people of color until Obama was elected. I always felt I had some empathy and understanding that put me on equal ground because I grew up gay and know the pain of oppression, lack of true freedom, and our history of violence against us. But even with that huge overlap of common ground, it took me a long time to understand that you can only truly know your own oppression and feel its history. After that, I never presumed anything ever again about common ground and understanding or how to help or what solutions are best. I conceded long ago that I can only listen, learn, and to keep myself in check about any presumptions or assumptions. I know what it's like to have others discuss "your people" as if you aren't in the room and suggest a multitude of solutions and complicated, unnecessary, and consoling methods for making things better, when all they had to was ask and/or listen. I feel the same way about the even more insidious inequality and oppression of women. I can easily find common ground and stand in solidarity, but I have to listen and learn about what's next.

 

@Nick Sweeney (Babylove) thanks for sharing your story. I think it's important to grieve the truth of our ethnic, racial, and cultural histories. I don't think the healing is just for ourselves, but for every soul ever touched by it. And it's important to see through that grief because you are right... there is SO much more beauty and inspiration that we have to nurture and share.

 

Over time as my awareness expanded, I have grieved deeply for every gay person who has ever struggled, died, stood against violence, oppression, etc, even as I have only my microcosmic version of that in my life. I know others have experienced things far worse than I have, and still others who will never struggle as much as I have, but no matter what degree of struggle is experienced, you now share in a collective pain and we can only help heal that for everyone by healing our part. I had all of my life to work out the collective wounding of gay people because I was right there and know it well, but it wasn't until Obama got elected when I suddenly realized that I can only help create a safe space for other collective wounds to heal that are not mine. 

 

When Obama was elected and I had that weird awakening, I ugly cried for two weeks just randomly like a crazy person, because it was the first time I realized I didn't know shit about the struggles of being anyone other than me. I thought I could truly know others and what they need by proxy of my own pain, but that's not how it works. Empathy finds the common ground among us so that we can stand together, but we can only do the work of healing on our own, and the best help we can offer others is to ask and listen. (And I learned that it's *really* important to listen when someone asks you to stop asking, too. lol)

 

 

[Maureen]

I love this, Troy!   "Empathy finds the common ground among us so that we can stand together, but we can only do the work of healing on our own, and the best help we can offer others is to ask and listen."

[Nick Sweeney (Babylove)]

On 8/7/2016 at 7:15 PM, Heidi said:

This gave me chills. That was your Essence, most definitely. The innocence of you. The part of you that 'knows' the truth, regardless of your age. 

I think back to certain thoughts I had as a child...sometimes while laying in bed at night pondering 'the world,' and sometimes when a teacher or person of authority had something to say that I didn't feel was right in my heart, and I know that was true wisdom. It's amazing how even a child can remember the truth. It's proof to me that evolution exists and nothing is ever forgotten. Thanks for sharing, Nicholas! :)

Thanks, Heidi.  I had not even thought about this in this way.  I do think that my Principal and school's heart was in the right place.  And now that you mention it, I do think that part of that experience for me was the old soul peeking through.

[Nick Sweeney (Babylove)]

On 8/8/2016 at 1:01 PM, Troy said:

I feel like I didn't wake up to the direct or indirect struggle for people of color until Obama was elected. I always felt I had some empathy and understanding that put me on equal ground because I grew up gay and know the pain of oppression, lack of true freedom, and our history of violence against us. But even with that huge overlap of common ground, it took me a long time to understand that you can only truly know your own oppression and feel its history. After that, I never presumed anything ever again about common ground and understanding or how to help or what solutions are best. I conceded long ago that I can only listen, learn, and to keep myself in check about any presumptions or assumptions. I know what it's like to have others discuss "your people" as if you aren't in the room and suggest a multitude of solutions and complicated, unnecessary, and consoling methods for making things better, when all they had to was ask and/or listen. I feel the same way about the even more insidious inequality and oppression of women. I can easily find common ground and stand in solidarity, but I have to listen and learn about what's next.

 

@Nick Sweeney (Babylove) thanks for sharing your story. I think it's important to grieve the truth of our ethnic, racial, and cultural histories. I don't think the healing is just for ourselves, but for every soul ever touched by it. And it's important to see through that grief because you are right... there is SO much more beauty and inspiration that we have to nurture and share.

 

Over time as my awareness expanded, I have grieved deeply for every gay person who has ever struggled, died, stood against violence, oppression, etc, even as I have only my microcosmic version of that in my life. I know others have experienced things far worse than I have, and still others who will never struggle as much as I have, but no matter what degree of struggle is experienced, you now share in a collective pain and we can only help heal that for everyone by healing our part. I had all of my life to work out the collective wounding of gay people because I was right there and know it well, but it wasn't until Obama got elected when I suddenly realized that I can only help create a safe space for other collective wounds to heal that are not mine. 

 

When Obama was elected and I had that weird awakening, I ugly cried for two weeks just randomly like a crazy person, because it was the first time I realized I didn't know shit about the struggles of being anyone other than me. I thought I could truly know others and what they need by proxy of my own pain, but that's not how it works. Empathy finds the common ground among us so that we can stand together, but we can only do the work of healing on our own, and the best help we can offer others is to ask and listen. (And I learned that it's *really* important to listen when someone asks you to stop asking, too. lol)

 

 

Yes, Troy, I too have come to realize the truth of what you speak...I can't say when I had this realization, I just know that as I read it in your words it makes complete sense to me and has been a part of my truths for quite some time.  Asking those in pain who have been oppressed and listening-what a revelation!  Creating that safe space for the collective to heal and doing our own part to heal ourselves resonates deeply with me.  There is such a great opportunity for healing during this crazy time when the wounds are festering.  I have to remind myself of this, too-that it's all up right now to be healed.  It looks and feels quite mad and crazy and hopeless from certain angles, but it is really a profound opportunity to heal.

[ckaricai]

On 8/4/2016 at 8:00 PM, Kasia said:

I found a story in The Guardian today and it really moved me. It's about a website called Reparations, described as "a half art project, half social experiment, the idea of which is this: people of color can request help or services, and others (white people, other people of color, anyone) could offer help."

 

There's such beauty in small acts of kindness, and given everything that's going on in the world lately, this makes it even more so. I also adore how the artist that created this handled trolls. "She has set up a 'troll fund' where, for every abusive message the site receives, people pledge to donate a dollar to someone in need. The tagline for the fund is: 'Hate can buy groceries now.'" Talk about bringing some levity to the whole thing! 

 

I gave up on the idea of reparations a long time ago. It's not practical and because it's not practical I really feel like we are beyond reparations and have been for a long time. This site makes me uncomfortable for a number of reasons I won't get into here. But, if this makes people feel better, then great. What I want to know is, can I go onto that site and ask someone to buy me a condo? If I do would I be taking advantage of people? I'm not even joking about this. I seriously considered doing it. This is honestly what it would take to make me embrace reparations.

 

 

 

Edited August 20, 2016 by ckaricai