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"Cord training" people :D


H2nna

Question

I've met a lot of new people during the past month, luckily many wonderful people who are lovely and supportive and what not. 

Now that I'm almost finished my 4th IM, I've become very aware of the cording process. Most people are actually pretty respectful but there are those who you have to train like a dog, saying 'no' 50 times doesn't seem to be enough. :D It's getting bit tiring, normally I would maybe just cut the whole person off but it's not an option right now. And the relationships have well functioning aspects aswell for both parties. So is there some voodoo gimmick how to train people and stay on positive poles?

Edited by H2nna
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ckaricai

Maybe you just need to set stronger boundaries. Be like Spock. Vulcans never lie. So just be brutally honest, like explain how uncomfortable you are with how they aren't respecting your boundaries and that is what you need to maintain a good working relationship with them.

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@H2nna Maybe after de-cording enough, they will eventually "get the point" and stop re-cording? I used to work nights at a bar and would do a type of chakra cleansing on my drive home after every shift. It seemed to help.

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Thanks @ckaricai& @Heidi! ?

For high female energy/high frequency people setting boundaries is especially difficult, you're kinda always expected to be the flexible one. I guesss I'll just keep on repeating the process but it is like training a dog....?

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Ingun

I agree with ckaricai, brutally honesty, being very direct, is what in my experience is working. And if you turn it around and see that person as teaching you, you can be amused too :-)

Edited by Ingun
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Maxim [memorial profile]

I am all for honesty combined with vulnerability.  Often "brutal honesty" is used by those in the negative poles to denigrate or make others wrong.  "I'm just being honest."

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Ingun
On 3.10.2016 at 8:46 PM, Maxim said:

I am all for honesty combined with vulnerability.  Often "brutal honesty" is used by those in the negative poles to denigrate or make others wrong.  "I'm just being honest."

 

Thank you Maxim. That is a more exact way of saying what I had in mind.

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On 10/1/2016 at 3:30 PM, ckaricai said:

Maybe you just need to set stronger boundaries. Be like Spock. Vulcans never lie. So just be brutally honest, like explain how uncomfortable you are with how they aren't respecting your boundaries and that is what you need to maintain a good working relationship with them.

Amen to that

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Yeah, pretty much concur with the setting firm (though not necessarily brutal) boundaries and being consistent with them. I have a friend who has a similar relationship with another friend, and she's had to really set and stick by her boundaries. Over time they do get the idea, but it requires being firm (meaning you strictly enforce and defend your boundary) and consistent (repeat, repeat, repeat). As my friend says, it's like exercising a muscle, one that's often underused in more accommodating personalities like ours. So yeah, train your friend to expect and respect your boundaries and you'll also be training yourself to be clearer and firmer about setting and enforcing them too.

If you want more magicky-type things, there are traditions out there with banishing or cleansing rituals that can help clear off any residual non-physical gunk from encounters. Those are also good to practice repeatedly, like washing one's hands. It may not affect things directly, but it can help keep the mind clear after any rocky encounters.

Edited by Eric
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