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Bobby

MMW - October 15, 2016 - Post Turning Point Empowerment

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H2nna

Amazing!! ...but spawn points??? ? I think I'll integrate few blind spots and spawn points together to lessen the work, at least temporarely.?

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PeterK

Thanks for posting this, it was very helpful for me. I wish I could have attended this session, but I had a previous commitment. I feel like I'm in the negative pole: balance of stage three: stability of a turning point that started five years ago. The grief stage was horrible. It's only been recently that I have accepted that it was a turning point that had to happen and was really the best direction in the long run.

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Bobby

I took some time this morning to go back over this session and allow it to sink in completely.  Yesterday, there were too many distractions with the storm we were about to have.  As I re-read it and thought about the different stages that were mentioned, it really dawned upon me just how much SHIT was experienced between the 12 months consisting of mid 2015 to mid 2016.  I am amazed that we are able to find our way through it sometimes.  But, that's probably what Michael references as being able to get back to seeing the patterns and Beauty in all things.

 
I was reminded of something that came from my Essence Report that rings true about all of this:
 
When Essence is rejected and you are manifesting False Personality, it most often shows up as a reaction to having your sense of pace thrown off in the life. When the familiar pace of life is thrown off, the Personality experiences this as a threat because it can sometimes feel as if some part of the self, some part of the life, or some part of someone else is going to be exposed in a way that you are not “ready” for. This then halts all sense of movement in the life as the fear of the unknown and fear of change kicks in next, and this begins to pull you away from others. When you begin to pull yourself away from others, your vitality drops tremendously, and it takes great effort to get your sense of momentum and spirit back. What we see as your greatest strength in your times of False Personality is in the use of your Goal of Growth. When your life appears to have veered off track, it is important to remember that some part of you enjoys the evolution that comes from your getting back on track, or getting to the other side, etc. When you have thrown yourself into Confusion, the negative pole of Growth, you will have naturally begun to fall into Re-evaluation, the partner to the Goal of Growth. This means that you are already primed for SIMPLIFYING, the positive pole of Re-evaluation. Your key then would be to strip your perceptions down to only WHAT IS. Deal with what there is to deal with, but allow this to be your path back to Growth, rather than your dreaded spiral away from everything. When you have simplified your breaking of pace to what exactly needs to be addressed, you may then begin to create meaning in that experience. Creating meaning is vital to the Goal of Growth. And in creating meaning, even in these distractions and displacements, this would then help to bring back your enthusiasm for life again.
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Janet

Well, this is interesting. I was feeling a bit down when I went to bed last night. I'm moving toward the end of my job when the year ends and have begun investigating health insurance possibilities and that is just the biggest downer. So I've wondered if I should delay leaving my job. I'm only working part time now, and my stress level is so much better, but there are times when I don't have enough to do and I know that I really need to leave it behind. 

 

As I mulled this over before sleep, I got a message (I think from Essence): "It's just fear." Recognizing that this was true, I went to sleep and in the early morning hours had a very interesting, although disjointed, dream.

 

The key part of the dream is one segment: my ex-husband and I were near the ocean and looking for a way to walk down to the beach. As we wandered we hooked up with another person (a guide?) who told us the direction to go, and we headed that way with her. As we began to walk toward the water, I took a right hand branch of the path, and then I noticed that the left hand branch was wide and there were lots of people walking to the beach. I scrambled over to the left hand branch and joined my ex and our guide on the walk. At the time I did this, I received another message in the dream: "breakthrough". 

 

I think I've got this. ;-)

 

 

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Bobby

Another little nugget from this session that shocked the hell out of me was the following:

 

Quote

Look at your family members who are bound to you by blood, but do little to share in the joys and intimacy of your life. They often remain because of the wall of Grief that would need to be scaled in releasing them from your life

 

When I first saw that, my jaw hit the floor.  I suddenly felt exposed which I'm sure was a shot of Arrogance.  After I got over it, I rationalized  "surely, that wasn't meant just for me.  There are plenty that applies to."   But now since no one else has mentioned it having the same effect on them, I'm wondering!  It's an interesting concept and one that I have "partially" implemented over the course of this past year.  I haven't completely cutoff but I have severely cutback and it was something I agonized over and was very difficult for me to come to terms with.

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DanielaS
1 minute ago, Bobby said:

Another little nugget from this session that shocked the hell out of me was the following:Look at your family members who are bound to you by blood, but do little to share in the joys and intimacy of your life. They often remain because of the wall of Grief that would need to be scaled in releasing them from your life

 

When I first saw that, my jaw hit the floor.  I suddenly felt exposed which I'm sure was a shot of Arrogance.  After I got over it, I rationalized  "surely, that wasn't meant just for me.  There are plenty that applies to."   But now since no one else has mentioned it having the same effect on them, I'm wondering!  It's an interesting concept and one that I have "partially" implemented over the course of this past year.  I haven't completely cutoff but I have severely cutback and it was somethign I agonized over and was very difficult for me to come to terms with.

 

Oh, Bobby, it's so weird that you said this. This morning I was reading that very snippet that Christopher reposted over in a comment on Royce's blog post. I hadn't had the energy yet to read this MMW transcript, and when I got to that sentence it was as if I'd gotten an electric shock. I had to stop and reread the sentence slowly a few more times. I thought, if I had been in that workshop I would have thought Michael was talking directly to me.  You are not alone.

 

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ClaireC

@Bobby  Although Michael mentioned family members bound to you by blood, the same applies to the countless people who remain in bad marriages and relationships because they can't face the Grief that lies on the other side of separation.  I think every one of us can relate to this in some way.

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PeterK

Bobby, I also noticed the part about family members. Particularly when I was in my 20's, phrases such as "family is so important" and "nothing is more important than family" were almost meaningless to me. I was far closer to my friends than my family and although I shared a great deal of intimacy with my close friends, I shared almost none of that intimacy with my family. As I grew older, because I did not have "a family of my own", I continued to feel a bit on the outside looking in. I've worked through most of those issues over the years and have reached a place of peace and acceptance about it. But as a result, I no longer hesitate, and am quite decisive about, declining invitations to family events and gatherings that do not feel entirely comfortable.

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KurtisM

I had a sort of feeling i'd lost my identity recently, and immediately thought about this session.
After reading, HOORAY! I'm on the other side of my turning point, having moved almost fully into Stage 1 of Grief's +Decompression. :D
I know that I'm there because when I first read this I felt no relation to the terms, just felt like I was struggling against a turning point, and now here I am on the other side, fully relating to the process of Grief.

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MichaelS

This is a great post.

 

I recognise the 'flavour' of Grief and Empowerment and some of that which feeds Grief becomes the subject of an Active Empowerment, through Choice. I say 'Oh not this shit again but you know what? I can chose to shift my perspective here.' I can't speak for others but it took a helluva lot of 'self' to do that. Exhausting stuff.

 

It feels like 'well I've done all that and it was grim and here I am and it's still grim. What is the point?' You can feel almost as bad as you did before the Turning Point. Almost but definitely not quite the same as I felt during the Breakdown/Breakthrough. Then you think 'sod that for a game of soldiers! I'm not thinking that way again.' Empowerment, I guess. 

 

The issues are the Spawns, for me. I'm 'picking off' the issues that underpinned the Breakdown and I'm doing it in Michael's Stage 1 and Stage 2. I'm nowhere near Stage 3. I'm vacillating between Stages 1 & 2, I think. My Goal is Growth and I'm reeling in -Confusion because I can't see any meaning in what has happened. It's like 'why bother?' Thanks @Bobby your supplementary post really helped me. 

Edited by MichaelS
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Ingun

In October Michael said I was in Stage 3 here but I still feel like working as hell on so called Spawn Points, or maybe it's something else....

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Timothy J Sullivan

The idea of Spawn Points arcing from a Turning Point has me imagining an exploding sky rocket. 

 

3268208-4th-of-July-Fireworks-2-Skyrocke  

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Uma
On 10/15/2016 at 3:36 PM, Bobby said:

Ingun: Where are we collectively with this Turning Point right now? And if it is ok to ask in this session for the theme for my personal Turning Point I like you to share that.

 

All of 2016 is a Turning Point, but to point to when that comes to full pivot, it would appear to be November as it is tied directly to the United States’ Presidential Election.

 

2017 will begin the Stages we described above.

 

It is likely that January through April is Grief, May through August Empowerment, September through December Stability.

 

So interesting to read this now--May through August Empowerment! Yes! I can definitely feel that happening, especially as the noose tightens on fuckface and family and all of them.

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Ingun

I had totally forgotten that 2017 was the year post Turning Point Empowerment... 2017 feels strangely like it slipped through my fingers in a way.

So I wonder if we really are in Stage of Stability??

 

2017 will begin the Stages we described above.

 

It is likely that January through April is Grief, May through August Empowerment, September through December Stability.

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PPLD
2 hours ago, Ingun said:

2017 feels strangely like it slipped through my fingers in a way.

 

I know what you mean Ingun. I agree.

 

For me it was also the year post my personal Turning Point, that was rather intense and difficult.

 

Although Michael said that I'll be over and done with it sometime during the spring, I now understand that processing it took longer than expected.

 

Thank you for this reminder! It explains a lot.  

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KurtisM

Ok my guesses for my Turning Point:

 

Struggling against a Turning Point:

Since 2013, when adult responsibilities started weighing down on me. Which is also when I found TLE.

-

Turning Point Nexus:

December 21-23 2016. Coincidentally, a year from now, and exactly a month after an Essence Agreement came into place to get me a job.

-

Stage 1- Grief:

Late December-Mid January.

I was relieved but in a state of sadness because I still had more pivotal choices to make. This stage was short, or appeared shorter than I imagine because I was in a depression well before the turning point.

-

Stage 2- Empowerment:

Late January-Late March.

This time was definitely about a struggle to reinvigorate my past hobbies and start anew.

Strength didnt come until my commitment to Veganism in Spring Break reached critical mass in Late March, and I brought myself back up from any hopelessness.

My deciding it as a yearlong cause brought me out of struggle, but veganism did cause new struggles that didnt fully resolve until July.

-

Stage 3- Stability:

Early April-Late August.

Afterwards, all the distraught feelings about my changing life had to settle, and that didn't fully happen until August at least- just after a camping trip that helped me breathe, a period of agonizing boredom and depression, and then a rise in pure appreciation for life.

 

After that, my focus on my Turning Point completely fizzled out and since April I forgot it even happened- until October, when I began reviewing my whole life and saw patterns I hadn't before.

I'm now confronting any spawn points and "smaller" turning points for 2018.

This was really elucidating!

 

Edited by KurtisM
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Luciana Flora

I found this session very interesting. But I think my turning point was in 2014. By 2016 I did not have the feeling that something needed to change.

  But in 2014 I felt that I urgently needed my financial independence. I felt terrible about being totally dependent on my parents at age 30.

Luckily in late 2014 I got two jobs in another city and moved there. It was a drastic thing in my life.

I went to live alone but was extremely dependent until then. And many times I was insecure about it even though it was exactly what I wanted.

Everything has changed in my life after this year. By 2016 I did not want anything to change. I just wanted to adapt.

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AnnaElisa

This was so helpful! Yesterday I had my Turning Point-session and it turns out my current Turning Point also begun in 2016. I would have thought one year earlier, so I was a bit surprised. 

I loved the message Ingun received: "Sometimes the “right thing” does not feel “right” because it has never been experienced". So true and maybe this is also part of what I'm struggling with now. Can I trust my "gut feeling" or will it lead me to old habits because they are known to me, and not necessarily "right"? 

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