MMW - October 15, 2016 - Post Turning Point Empowerment

[Bobby]

MMW - October 15, 2016 -Post-Turning Point Empowerment

 

Hello to each of you. We are here, now. We can begin.

 

We have spoken at some length about the concept of the “Turning Point,” and while the general idea is comprehended, we know there is some difficulty in knowing when/if one is approaching a Turning Point, what to do while one is in a Turning Point, and what one must do after the Turning Point.

 

The short description and indication for when/if one is approaching a Turning Point is if one knows “SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.”

 

The more one embraces that necessity for change, the more one can tend to navigate the Turning Point with some amount of coordination and creativity.

 

The more one rejects the necessity for change, the more one will tend to collapse into a momentum that “forces” change to unfold.

 

This is the difference between Breakthrough and Breakdown.

 

Whether in Breakthrough or Breakdown, the momentum for the change is likely long into its effect by the time you are in your Turning Point. Breakthrough allows you a head start in choosing where to land on the other side of the Turning Point, but Breakdown will tend to simply wait to see where one lands and then pick up from there.

 

The stages that come after a Turning Point are the same for either a Breakthrough or a Breakdown.

 

This is because there is no shame in a Breakdown. Nothing “wrong” in that passage. Nothing that warrants special conditions. Sometimes your life will change unexpectedly and this can cause Breakdown. A Breakdown is not always because one rejected change.

 

Sometimes it is simply unexpected.

 

The greatest difference between a Breakthrough and a Breakdown is that a Breakthrough carries the pieces forward to rearrange them in ways that are more to your liking and preference. A Breakdown must pick up the pieces and sort them, so to speak.

 

In either case, your arms are full of pieces that you are already aware of, or just discovering, and you must do the work of putting things back in order/beauty.

 

STAGE ONE: GRIEF

 

Whether embracing major change or rejecting it or when it arises unexpectedly, when one lands on the other side of it, there is Grief.

 

Something is different. Something is “lost.”

 

One of the reasons many reject change is because of this first stage. Even in the best of situations there is Grief. There is usually, at least, one thing that does not “feel good” about the change.

 

Remember graduating High School and moving out into the world on your own. However much this was embraced, anticipated, prepared for, or not, there is Grief.

 

Remember your breakups and relationships that are no longer in your life. However beautifully the patterns of life are that then move you toward healthier relationships, you likely grieved.

 

Look at your family members who are bound to you by blood, but do little to share in the joys and intimacy of your life. They often remain because of the wall of Grief that would need to be scaled in releasing them from your life

 

There is so much positive, healthy, expansive change that is avoided or ignored in life because of that wall of Grief that looms on the other side of great change.

 

It will always be there.

 

It is not something that “goes away” with greater understanding and higher perception.

 

So what you learn is how to choose, how to create, how to nurture changes in ways that help to alleviate Turning Points.

 

You learn that you cannot always control change and learn how to navigate it when unexpected.

 

You learn how to navigate Grief.

 

In the NEGATIVE POLE we will say there is Depression.

 

In the POSITIVE POLE we will say there is Decompression.

 

It is rare that one moves quickly into Decompression.

 

Nearly all great changes come with Depression.

 

You land on the other side of your Turning Point and suddenly the realization of how little power you have over life can be difficult to accept. Depression is anger, and anger is the result of helplessness.

 

Old Souls struggle with Depression more than any other Soul Age.

 

This is because you are in the process of reconciling your seemingly tiny point of existence in the vastness of existence.

 

Turning Points are part of that process of reconciliation.

 

Eventually the Old Soul realizes there is little difference between “vastness” and “existence."

 

Vastness has about as much control over existence as your existence has over vastness.

 

Eventually you realize what you CAN control and what you CANNOT. And there is beauty in the order that comes from trusting that which you cannot control, while directing what you can.

 

However brief or extended one’s Depression, there is the eventual potential for Decompression.

 

Decompression is the process of relief from the pressure of effort to understand, control, or save everything/everyone involved in a Turning Point. It is the return of action, feeling, and thoughts where one has effectiveness.

 

In other words, you “get back to work.” You get back to living. You get back on track. You rebuild. You build.

 

You launch yourself forward from the Turning Point in a direction that is built from what has come to pass.

 

If you find yourself in Depression, you must do the work of reaching for Decompression.

 

And it does take work. And it may require asking for help.

 

Grief is not “easy,” even when in Decompression, but Decompression returns you to your power of choice as it exists on the other side of great change, rather than trying to recapture life before the great change.

 

Depression keeps you locked in the patterns that existed before the Turning Point.

 

Even if the other side of the Turning Point is ugly, you only have your power of choice for moving forward because moving backward is not an option.

 

It is important to understand the natural stage of Grief on the other side of a Turning Point because it can be quite confusing to think you have made a great change, a great breakthrough, and you still feel sad, depleted, exhausted, and disoriented. This can be painfully confusing.

 

But knowing that Depression may come and that Decompression is where you can aim your efforts, you can rise from your Turning Point and back into empowerment from even the most challenging of Breakdown

 

STAGE TWO: EMPOWERMENT

 

This is where the work “really” begins. This is a return to active participation in your life rather than passive processing.

 

This is where you begin to see more immediate effects again from your decisions and choices.

 

We will define Empowerment here as your efforts to own your power in whatever capacity you have.

 

This may be grand in scale or quite focused, depending on where you land after a Turning Point, but the point is that you own it again in a way that actively makes the effort to move forward.

 

In the NEGATIVE POLE there is Struggle.

 

In the POSITIVE POLE there is Strength.

 

Nearly all who make it through Grief will then acknowledge the reality of Struggle.

 

This is a Negative Pole only because it is restricted in movement since you must focus on parts before you can focus on the whole. Whether you are picking up pieces, or setting them down, you must still sort through them.

 

This can be experienced as Struggle.

 

But that Struggle can quickly remind you of, and return you to your Strength.

 

With every piece you pick up, every piece you set down, every piece your sort on the other side of your Turning Point, you are remembering your Strength, owning your authority over your choices, life, creativity, etc. and this is Empowerment.

 

STAGE THREE: STABILITY

 

As you process the Grief and nurture your Empowerment, the hints of Stability return.

 

Your control over the patterns you can control are back in your hands.

 

The NEGATIVE POLE is Balance.

 

The POSITIVE POLE is Wholeness.

 

Balance is the process of managing and juggling differences and directions and distractions that are still in parts.

 

Wholeness is the move away from necessity for tending to the parts and having the all of the parts in harmony, healing again.

 

These are the only stages following a Turning Point.

 

They are a Triad. The process of moving from Negative, to Positive, to Neutral.

 

This will be the same set of Stages on your individual scale as it is on a large scale for a population.

 

We know that each of you can assess where you are in your own Turning Points and if you are on the other side of one. You may have to look closely and consider carefully, but we do not need to tell you where you are.

 

If you do not recognize any of the above Stages, you are probably not on the other side just yet.

 

We will open the floor now to your questions: QUEUE IS NOW OPEN *****

 

Yes, ViP.

 

VIP1: Hi Michael, is it possible for someone to to be navigating more than one turning point at the same time?

 

Ingun: Thanks for that question ViP, I have been questioning the same or navigating different areas in life through that Turning Point

 

MEntity: Yes.

 

Maureen: or navigating through your own while everyone around you is also going through Turning Points.

 

It is rare that there would be more than one full Turning Point, but it is often the case that a Turning Point would have what we refer to as multiple SPAWN POINTS.

 

These could also be referred to as “minor” or “mini” turning points, but we prefer “spawn points” because these rarely feel “minor” or “mini,” and feel more like full Turning Points within Turning Points.

 

Spawn Points are “Turning Points” within Turning Points that must be addressed as part of the full Turning Point. Depending on the complexity of the Turning Point, a Turning Point can have up to 12 of these Spawn Points.

 

NadineA: wow that's a lot

 

These do not have their own Stages.

 

Ingun: I knew it!

 

VIP1: wow

 

Some Spawn Points may be resolved during Grief, some during Empowerment, some during Stability, but they are part of the overall process through the Stages.

 

Ingun wow: this is so validating!

 

Maureen: Would you either name the 12 Spawn Points and / or give us an example?

 

A simple example may be that when one lands in Grief, you must tend to something quite specific being grieved, and this is often its own Spawn Point.

 

NEXT Nadine

 

NadineA: I feel like I passed through all stages yet still have this feeling of being a bit disoriented - am I still in grief then?

 

One Stage does not close just because one moves into the next. Stability can still carry with it the process of Decompression and the work of Strength as a way to steady Wholeness.

 

NadineA: I see

 

If you are still feeling Grief, you are still in Stability.

 

Does this answer your question?

 

NadineA: Yes, it does

 

NEXT, Ingun

 

Ingun: Where are we collectively with this Turning Point right now? And if it is ok to ask in this session for the theme for my personal Turning Point I like you to share that.

 

All of 2016 is a Turning Point, but to point to when that comes to full pivot, it would appear to be November as it is tied directly to the United States’ Presidential Election.

 

2017 will begin the Stages we described above.

 

It is likely that January through April is Grief, May through August Empowerment, September through December Stability.

 

We can describe personal themes in a more focused format.

 

Ingun: Thank you

 

NEXT, DianeHB

 

DianeHB: Michael, can you give each of us a brief personal message in regards to our Turning Points?

 

BOBBY: “Square One” is not always at the beginning.

 

DIANE: You were braver and stronger than even you realize.

 

DIANE_HB: The inspiration will return. It will.

 

INGUN: Sometimes the “right thing” does not feel “right” because it has never been experienced.

 

MAUREEN: Sometimes the control cannot be easy, so your only aim can be for what is as easy as possible, the path of least resistance.

 

NADINE: Understanding does not always bring relief, but it is a start.

 

ViP: Do not forget yourself again. Do not forget yourself again.

 

Final question: Maureen

 

Maureen: You just answered it. Thanks, Michael.

 

Each of you are handling your Turning Points with consciousness and choice and compassion. All of you are doing Good Work. Your landing on the other side of your Turning Point may be bumpy or soft, but you are landing safely because of you. You are in good hands.

 

Good day to each of you. Goodbye, for now.

 

[H2nna]

Amazing!! ...but spawn points??? ? I think I'll integrate few blind spots and spawn points together to lessen the work, at least temporarely.?

[PeterK]

Thanks for posting this, it was very helpful for me. I wish I could have attended this session, but I had a previous commitment. I feel like I'm in the negative pole: balance of stage three: stability of a turning point that started five years ago. The grief stage was horrible. It's only been recently that I have accepted that it was a turning point that had to happen and was really the best direction in the long run.

[Bobby]

I took some time this morning to go back over this session and allow it to sink in completely.  Yesterday, there were too many distractions with the storm we were about to have.  As I re-read it and thought about the different stages that were mentioned, it really dawned upon me just how much SHIT was experienced between the 12 months consisting of mid 2015 to mid 2016.  I am amazed that we are able to find our way through it sometimes.  But, that's probably what Michael references as being able to get back to seeing the patterns and Beauty in all things.

 

I was reminded of something that came from my Essence Report that rings true about all of this:

 

When Essence is rejected and you are manifesting False Personality, it most often shows up as a reaction to having your sense of pace thrown off in the life. When the familiar pace of life is thrown off, the Personality experiences this as a threat because it can sometimes feel as if some part of the self, some part of the life, or some part of someone else is going to be exposed in a way that you are not “ready” for. This then halts all sense of movement in the life as the fear of the unknown and fear of change kicks in next, and this begins to pull you away from others. When you begin to pull yourself away from others, your vitality drops tremendously, and it takes great effort to get your sense of momentum and spirit back. What we see as your greatest strength in your times of False Personality is in the use of your Goal of Growth. When your life appears to have veered off track, it is important to remember that some part of you enjoys the evolution that comes from your getting back on track, or getting to the other side, etc. When you have thrown yourself into Confusion, the negative pole of Growth, you will have naturally begun to fall into Re-evaluation, the partner to the Goal of Growth. This means that you are already primed for SIMPLIFYING, the positive pole of Re-evaluation. Your key then would be to strip your perceptions down to only WHAT IS. Deal with what there is to deal with, but allow this to be your path back to Growth, rather than your dreaded spiral away from everything. When you have simplified your breaking of pace to what exactly needs to be addressed, you may then begin to create meaning in that experience. Creating meaning is vital to the Goal of Growth. And in creating meaning, even in these distractions and displacements, this would then help to bring back your enthusiasm for life again.

[Janet]

Well, this is interesting. I was feeling a bit down when I went to bed last night. I'm moving toward the end of my job when the year ends and have begun investigating health insurance possibilities and that is just the biggest downer. So I've wondered if I should delay leaving my job. I'm only working part time now, and my stress level is so much better, but there are times when I don't have enough to do and I know that I really need to leave it behind. 

 

As I mulled this over before sleep, I got a message (I think from Essence): "It's just fear." Recognizing that this was true, I went to sleep and in the early morning hours had a very interesting, although disjointed, dream.

 

The key part of the dream is one segment: my ex-husband and I were near the ocean and looking for a way to walk down to the beach. As we wandered we hooked up with another person (a guide?) who told us the direction to go, and we headed that way with her. As we began to walk toward the water, I took a right hand branch of the path, and then I noticed that the left hand branch was wide and there were lots of people walking to the beach. I scrambled over to the left hand branch and joined my ex and our guide on the walk. At the time I did this, I received another message in the dream: "breakthrough". 

 

I think I've got this. ;-)

 

 

[Bobby]

Another little nugget from this session that shocked the hell out of me was the following:

 

Quote

Look at your family members who are bound to you by blood, but do little to share in the joys and intimacy of your life. They often remain because of the wall of Grief that would need to be scaled in releasing them from your life

 

When I first saw that, my jaw hit the floor.  I suddenly felt exposed which I'm sure was a shot of Arrogance.  After I got over it, I rationalized  "surely, that wasn't meant just for me.  There are plenty that applies to."   But now since no one else has mentioned it having the same effect on them, I'm wondering!  It's an interesting concept and one that I have "partially" implemented over the course of this past year.  I haven't completely cutoff but I have severely cutback and it was something I agonized over and was very difficult for me to come to terms with.

[DanielaS]

1 minute ago, Bobby said:

Another little nugget from this session that shocked the hell out of me was the following:Look at your family members who are bound to you by blood, but do little to share in the joys and intimacy of your life. They often remain because of the wall of Grief that would need to be scaled in releasing them from your life

 

When I first saw that, my jaw hit the floor.  I suddenly felt exposed which I'm sure was a shot of Arrogance.  After I got over it, I rationalized  "surely, that wasn't meant just for me.  There are plenty that applies to."   But now since no one else has mentioned it having the same effect on them, I'm wondering!  It's an interesting concept and one that I have "partially" implemented over the course of this past year.  I haven't completely cutoff but I have severely cutback and it was somethign I agonized over and was very difficult for me to come to terms with.

 

Oh, Bobby, it's so weird that you said this. This morning I was reading that very snippet that Christopher reposted over in a comment on Royce's blog post. I hadn't had the energy yet to read this MMW transcript, and when I got to that sentence it was as if I'd gotten an electric shock. I had to stop and reread the sentence slowly a few more times. I thought, if I had been in that workshop I would have thought Michael was talking directly to me.  You are not alone.

 

[ClaireC]

@Bobby  Although Michael mentioned family members bound to you by blood, the same applies to the countless people who remain in bad marriages and relationships because they can't face the Grief that lies on the other side of separation.  I think every one of us can relate to this in some way.

[Christian]

That grief sucks...but sometimes it is better.

[PeterK]

Bobby, I also noticed the part about family members. Particularly when I was in my 20's, phrases such as "family is so important" and "nothing is more important than family" were almost meaningless to me. I was far closer to my friends than my family and although I shared a great deal of intimacy with my close friends, I shared almost none of that intimacy with my family. As I grew older, because I did not have "a family of my own", I continued to feel a bit on the outside looking in. I've worked through most of those issues over the years and have reached a place of peace and acceptance about it. But as a result, I no longer hesitate, and am quite decisive about, declining invitations to family events and gatherings that do not feel entirely comfortable.

[KurtisM]

I had a sort of feeling i'd lost my identity recently, and immediately thought about this session.
After reading, HOORAY! I'm on the other side of my turning point, having moved almost fully into Stage 1 of Grief's +Decompression. :D
I know that I'm there because when I first read this I felt no relation to the terms, just felt like I was struggling against a turning point, and now here I am on the other side, fully relating to the process of Grief.

[ClaireC]

See, Kurtis, it is all about Experience.  ?

[MichaelS]

This is a great post.

 

I recognise the 'flavour' of Grief and Empowerment and some of that which feeds Grief becomes the subject of an Active Empowerment, through Choice. I say 'Oh not this shit again but you know what? I can chose to shift my perspective here.' I can't speak for others but it took a helluva lot of 'self' to do that. Exhausting stuff.

 

It feels like 'well I've done all that and it was grim and here I am and it's still grim. What is the point?' You can feel almost as bad as you did before the Turning Point. Almost but definitely not quite the same as I felt during the Breakdown/Breakthrough. Then you think 'sod that for a game of soldiers! I'm not thinking that way again.' Empowerment, I guess. 

 

The issues are the Spawns, for me. I'm 'picking off' the issues that underpinned the Breakdown and I'm doing it in Michael's Stage 1 and Stage 2. I'm nowhere near Stage 3. I'm vacillating between Stages 1 & 2, I think. My Goal is Growth and I'm reeling in -Confusion because I can't see any meaning in what has happened. It's like 'why bother?' Thanks @Bobby your supplementary post really helped me. 

Edited January 15, 2017 by MichaelS

[Yin-da]

In October Michael said I was in Stage 3 here but I still feel like working as hell on so called Spawn Points, or maybe it's something else....

[Timothy J Sullivan]

The idea of Spawn Points arcing from a Turning Point has me imagining an exploding sky rocket. 

 

  

[Uma]

On 10/15/2016 at 3:36 PM, Bobby said:

Ingun: Where are we collectively with this Turning Point right now? And if it is ok to ask in this session for the theme for my personal Turning Point I like you to share that.

 

All of 2016 is a Turning Point, but to point to when that comes to full pivot, it would appear to be November as it is tied directly to the United States’ Presidential Election.

 

2017 will begin the Stages we described above.

 

It is likely that January through April is Grief, May through August Empowerment, September through December Stability.

 

So interesting to read this now--May through August Empowerment! Yes! I can definitely feel that happening, especially as the noose tightens on fuckface and family and all of them.

[Yin-da]

I had totally forgotten that 2017 was the year post Turning Point Empowerment... 2017 feels strangely like it slipped through my fingers in a way.

So I wonder if we really are in Stage of Stability??

 

2017 will begin the Stages we described above.

 

It is likely that January through April is Grief, May through August Empowerment, September through December Stability.

[PPLD]

2 hours ago, Ingun said:

2017 feels strangely like it slipped through my fingers in a way.

 

I know what you mean Ingun. I agree.

 

For me it was also the year post my personal Turning Point, that was rather intense and difficult.

 

Although Michael said that I'll be over and done with it sometime during the spring, I now understand that processing it took longer than expected.

 

Thank you for this reminder! It explains a lot.  

[KurtisM]

Ok my guesses for my Turning Point:

 

Struggling against a Turning Point:

Since 2013, when adult responsibilities started weighing down on me. Which is also when I found TLE.

-

Turning Point Nexus:

December 21-23 2016. Coincidentally, a year from now, and exactly a month after an Essence Agreement came into place to get me a job.

-

Stage 1- Grief:

Late December-Mid January.

I was relieved but in a state of sadness because I still had more pivotal choices to make. This stage was short, or appeared shorter than I imagine because I was in a depression well before the turning point.

-

Stage 2- Empowerment:

Late January-Late March.

This time was definitely about a struggle to reinvigorate my past hobbies and start anew.

Strength didnt come until my commitment to Veganism in Spring Break reached critical mass in Late March, and I brought myself back up from any hopelessness.

My deciding it as a yearlong cause brought me out of struggle, but veganism did cause new struggles that didnt fully resolve until July.

-

Stage 3- Stability:

Early April-Late August.

Afterwards, all the distraught feelings about my changing life had to settle, and that didn't fully happen until August at least- just after a camping trip that helped me breathe, a period of agonizing boredom and depression, and then a rise in pure appreciation for life.

 

After that, my focus on my Turning Point completely fizzled out and since April I forgot it even happened- until October, when I began reviewing my whole life and saw patterns I hadn't before.

I'm now confronting any spawn points and "smaller" turning points for 2018.

This was really elucidating!

 

Edited December 21, 2017 by KurtisM

[Luciana Flora]

I found this session very interesting. But I think my turning point was in 2014. By 2016 I did not have the feeling that something needed to change.

  But in 2014 I felt that I urgently needed my financial independence. I felt terrible about being totally dependent on my parents at age 30.

Luckily in late 2014 I got two jobs in another city and moved there. It was a drastic thing in my life.

I went to live alone but was extremely dependent until then. And many times I was insecure about it even though it was exactly what I wanted.

Everything has changed in my life after this year. By 2016 I did not want anything to change. I just wanted to adapt.

[AnnaElisa]

This was so helpful! Yesterday I had my Turning Point-session and it turns out my current Turning Point also begun in 2016. I would have thought one year earlier, so I was a bit surprised. 

I loved the message Ingun received: "Sometimes the “right thing” does not feel “right” because it has never been experienced". So true and maybe this is also part of what I'm struggling with now. Can I trust my "gut feeling" or will it lead me to old habits because they are known to me, and not necessarily "right"?