Michael on Breakdown and Breatkthrough

[MichaelS]

The last few years have been increasingly difficult for me but when I was knocked down as a pedestrian in a road traffic accident in October, I was thrown into a dangerous and scary place.

 

A word of thanks to the wonderful Troy, who totally had my back and was so helpful in fitting me in for a session at really short notice. It proved to be a great session for me.

 

60M 110416

TRANSCRIPT

 

[14:08] MEntity: Hello to you, Michael. We are here, now. We can begin.

[14:08] MichaelS: Good evening, Michael.

[14:08] MichaelS: I'm experiencing a nervous breakdown as my anxiety, depression and a lifetime of deep sleep deprivation come to head. Things happened quickly following a road traffic accident on 15th October, when as a pedestrian, I was knocked over by a car. My breakdown is like a psychosis with visual and auditory hallucinations and I 'hear channeled voices' whi

[14:08] MichaelS: ch I believed to be my Essence, my Guide, my ET and assorted others, including you Michael. In my delusion I believed I was an 'intuitive channel'. I recognise I'm not a channel and that these are my delusions. This has been a distressing and frightening time for me and my family and they have gently but firmly led me to address my issues. I sought

[14:08] MichaelS:  help, I have a chemical program of Pericycline and I'm waiting in line to access further help through a psychiatric assessment. My sister & my brother in law are skilled mental health professionals and they've been of great help too...once I asked them for help! The voices have ceased and I hope I've made a little breakthrough. I hope you can shed

[14:08] MichaelS:  some light on my experience, Michael?

[14:10] MichaelS: I'd like to know what I've processed (if anything) and what I might work on in future? Also, I'd like my Essence's take on my tribulations. How can I do it better? Thanks.

[14:14] MichaelS: I would add that I have an expansive imagination, which I tend towards ignoring or, to use to upset myself.

[14:18] MEntity: Michael, every fragment has a range of "voices" in his or her head. When the neurological pathways are working properly, and the emotional body is healthy, the voices are funneled through one's singular voice, or the one that is familiar to you in the form of usual thinking.

[14:18] MichaelS: Yes.

[14:19] MEntity: The "voices" of guides, Essence, or even a channeled Entity will sound like one's singular voice.

[14:20] MEntity: This is why it is difficult for many to begin the process of discerning between the voice of fear, the voice of enthusiasm, the voice of anger, etc. So you can imagine the more subtle differentiation required for any other voice, such as that of Essence or a guide.

[14:21] MEntity: However, if you experience a trauma that shocks the neurological pathways and breaks open the emotional dams and walls that have been held for a great length of time, then those voices are no longer funneled through a singular voice.

[14:21] MichaelS: Yes, it's scary.

[14:21] MEntity: You fragment.

[14:21] MEntity: So to speak.

[14:24] MEntity: When one loses that singular representation of inner voice, then the structure of schizophrenia (fractured voices of emotions) can begin to build, or dissociative identity disorder (fractured facets of personality) can start to form.

[14:25] MEntity: We cannot see if that is the direction you were going, but it seems as if it was a wise call for intervention.

[14:25] MichaelS: It was the direction, Michael.

[14:29] MEntity: The chemical treatment that has been prescribed is one that would do well to be managed with caution and not seen as the solution, but more as a bridge.

[14:31] MEntity: What you processed and are processing is the desperation for care and comfort, the longing for security and closeness, the aching for peace and true rest. This desperation, longing, and aching have been carried for far too long, for so long that it started to define you, and you know that you cannot be defined by lack.

[14:33] MichaelS: That is true of me and I've heard it validated by those who know and love me. I do it for others but not for myself.

[14:33] MEntity: It is entirely possible that you could have taken a slow and gentle path of healing and awakening, but there is a part of you that is too easily distracted with running out of time, or presuming you have plenty of time.

[14:34] MEntity: So this shake up is the closest thing to a "short cut."

[14:35] MEntity: There are no short cuts, of course, so it means that what would have been gentler over time is now condensed into shock and intensity.

[14:35] MEntity: The Higher Moving Center is blown open.

[14:36] MEntity: Permission is granted on a scale you haven not allowed in some time and now you are in the hands of others to be cared for, comforted, and calmed.

[14:37] MichaelS: Michael that is accurate.

[14:38] MEntity: The neurological and emotional elements are important to address, but treatment and breakthrough are greatly dependent on your truly embracing the care, comfort, and calm.

[14:40] MEntity: These are not offered to you begrudgingly, and they are not offered to you "just because" of your condition. The point is that they were always there in some form, and always will be, and this is one brilliant way that you have found to work around your long-term dismissal of those needs.

[14:40] MEntity: We say "brilliant" not to diminish your condition, but to honor the greater arc of this experience.

[14:41] MichaelS: Thank you.

[14:42] MEntity: As for moving forward: continue to embrace your willingness and NEED for comfort, care, and calm. Even when you move beyond the current scenario, this is something that you will never forget, and can call upon from within or from loved ones.

[14:44] MEntity: You may have a difficult time trusting your inner voice again, but that trust will return as you listen to your needs.

[14:45] MEntity: Living your life is not a one-way experience. You do not exist FOR others. You exist WITH others.

[14:48] MichaelS: I have lived FOR others only, for much too long, Michael.

[14:49] MEntity: That is how you can help yourself to "do it better," if by "do it better" you mean to live your life with more health, happiness, and home.

[14:49] MEntity: Home, meaning a sense of calm, confidence, and place wherever you may be.

[14:50] MichaelS: Yes, that's exactly what I meant.

[14:50] MEntity: As you progress in your recovery and healing, keep those words in mind: to live with others, not just for them.

[14:51] MEntity: It is okay to live for others, and for others to live for you, but not as a means to make up for existence.

[14:51] MEntity: At the heart of this mentality of living for others is an apology for one's existence.

[14:52] MEntity: It is a constant battle for earning one's right to exist.

[14:52] MEntity: This was taught to you by someone, and it is a lie.

[14:52] MEntity: And you are done with that lie.

[14:53] MEntity: And you made this breakthrough within the lifetime, instead of after the lifetime in Review.

[14:54] MichaelS: Michael, I experienced a 'review' and it was not a pleasant experience.

[14:54] MEntity: It does not matter when a breakthrough comes, or even how painful and difficult and disorienting it may be. It is a breakthrough. Yours happened to bounce toward breakthrough from the depths of a breakdown, but you did it.

[14:54] MEntity: You did it.

[14:54] MEntity: And as with everything, it was done with others.

[14:54] MEntity: We are not alone.

[14:55] MichaelS: High fiving with my wife.

[15:01] MEntity: We know we cannot make this anymore a "short cut" than you already have, but we are here as teachers, to teach, and to remind you not only of the tools you have, but to remind you that you exist.

[15:02] MEntity: And there is no need to apologize for that.

[15:02] MEntity: We will conclude here for today. Good evening to you, Michael. And goodbye, for now.

[15:03] MichaelS: Thank you so much Michael and you too, Troy.

Edited November 9, 2016 by MichaelS

[Bobby]

Michael, sorry to hear that you ended up going through all of this and I hope things settle down for you quickly now as you recover. 

 

As I was reading this, I seemed to recall you potentially going through an intra-lifetime Soul Age Level change?  Do you think this had anything to do with that if so?

[Heidi]

Michael, this was so beautiful, and my tear ducts are working full force. Thank you for sharing this. Big congrats to you on transforming a breakdown into a breakthrough. (((((hugs)))))

[MichaelS]

On 08/11/2016 at 0:16 AM, MichaelS said:

Bobby I did have a life review and it was shit. It happened during a series of 'sleeps' that were  barely sleeps at all. I haven't slept properly in years. One four hour session was particularly horrific. It covered everything from birth through to the day and the voice just rattled it off, like reading a menu in a restaurant, no emotion just Baby! Bang! Bang! Like your worst nightmare. When Michael said that about my Life Review my jaw dropped and I mentioned it to Troy afterwards because I hadn't mentioned it at all up to that point in the session. I didn't have a single good thing to say about myself in that time. The more realistic appraisal of my life is beginning to happen now but I found it impossible to find a good word for myself during the experience. My expectations for myself have always been unrealistic and again and again I told myself, or rather the 'voices' did, 'You're a human being, like everyone else!' I just couldn't accept that. That's why I have always been in as Michael says 'a constant battle to earn the right to exist'. I didn't believe I had that right. The scariest thing is, looking back, I was ready to die, not by own hands, but ready for it. I thought it was happening. Completely. Like 'Game Over' and other than concerns for my family I literally didn't give a fuck about myself. That's a dark place.

 

Now whether thats got anything to do with the Soul Age Transition I couldn't say. 

 

Edited November 9, 2016 by MichaelS

[MichaelS]

Thanks Joe. Now the accident. I was hit at 30 mph (this is what the driver told the Police in his statement, I saw nothing coming) and sent arcing through the air for c.15 metres. I felt nothing. It was like I was a feather. I grazed my right knee and arm and I had a small bruise on my right thigh/buttock where the car hit me. I was thinking 'I don't need this!' I was helped to my feet but I could have done it alone. I was carrying my curry ?? And I was more concerned with getting home and eating it. The driver and a pedestrian wanted me to go to A&E but I didn't see the need. I swapped addresses with the poor driver (I wanted to sort out his damage) and I drove home. It was the driver who contacted the Police, not me. Chris insisted on going to hospital and I was checked over and the doctor said 'you should have bought a Lottery ticket tonight.' No real physical effects but the fireworks started 24 hours later. Weird shit. 

 

@Heidi thanks. Hopefully I'm getting myself together. No more 'voices' and I'm thankful for that.

Edited November 8, 2016 by MichaelS

[Maxim [memorial profile]]

Michael, all the best in your healing. 

 

I thought this was an interesting piece...

 

5 hours ago, MichaelS said:

[14:18] MEntity: Michael, every fragment has a range of "voices" in his or her head. When the neurological pathways are working properly, and the emotional body is healthy, the voices are funneled through one's singular voice, or the one that is familiar to you in the form of usual thinking.

[14:18] MichaelS: Yes.

[14:19] MEntity: The "voices" of guides, Essence, or even a channeled Entity will sound like one's singular voice.

 

 

[CarolineB]

Michael, what a terrifying experience. I wish you all the best, and hope that you start feeling true rest, comfort, and calm soon.

[Miizle]

Wow, what an experience. As Michael said, "You did it!" And that is truly beautiful, awesome and special, your essence is having a little party right now for this unique experience and breakthrough :). I hope the healing will soon take effect on Personality level, too, and you can rest and enjoy your life a lot more. All the best <3

[ClaireC]

Mike, it's interesting how Essence makes opportunities out of mishaps to "wake up", re-assess and make important breakthroughs that lead to healing.  I'm sorry that yours was such a rude awakening, but happy that you're making sense of everything, in your own way.  That was an inspiring session, one that most of us are able to glean something from about our own ways of processing experiences.  Thank you for sharing.  Love you!

[MichaelS]

On 09/11/2016 at 2:39 AM, ClaireC said:

Mike, it's interesting how Essence makes opportunities out of mishaps to "wake up", re-assess and make important breakthroughs that lead to healing.  I'm sorry that yours was such a rude awakening, but happy that you're making sense of everything, in your own way.  That was an inspiring session, one that most of us are able to glean something from about our own ways of processing experiences.  Thank you for sharing.  Love you!

Thank Claire. Michael said my accident broke open my Higher Centre and there was a shitstorm but what a fantastic opportunity for a breakthrough? Essence finds those opportunities and it is a wonderful experience. 'My' inner voice' has never been clearer and although I'm still wary, my confidence is growing. I feel different somehow but in a nice more relaxed way. I find +Flow more readily now and I can quite easily get lost in the moment. That is a treasure. ❤️Love and hugs Claire. 

[Maureen]

Mike, so happy to hear you are doing so well after so much trauma. Interestingly, the image I've always held in my mind for you is you being held and deeply comforted as you relax and drift off to sleep in total trust, safety and affection. It warms my heart that you've been able to connect the part of you that desperately needed that to the part or parts of you that could finally accept it. You've become your own bridge to you and that is most beautiful. I believe our ability to receive love is one of the highest forms of love. You honour others by accepting their love. It's not surprising that you blew your Higher Moving Center open. This Center, located at the 2nd or Sacral Chakra, is related to one's Right to Feel which translates into your Right to Intimacy, to Affection, to Creativity, to Pleasure. We love you. I love you. Keep your pathways open ...and the love flowing. ♥

 

[MichaelS]

10 hours ago, Maureen said:

Interestingly, the image I've always held in my mind for you is you being held and deeply comforted as you relax and drift off to sleep in total trust, safety and affection.  

 

Thank you Maureen. This is exactly how it is, now. Would you believe I've never felt that way? Not as a child, nor as an adult. When I was younger I drank heavily to sleep and as I grew older I chose to 'manage' without. For most of the time I didn't sleep properly and I cannot recall sleeping as I do now. I rested in a sort of light sub-Beta state. Throughout my slumber my consciousness prevailed so it was like a 'waking sleep'. I'd be up in the night, usually playing Sudoku, anything to pass the time. It wasn't that I longed to sleep, simply that this was what I believed my sleep to be so, I accepted it. 

 

Michael said 'you did it' in this life, not  'after the life in Review'. But there was a something of a Review Maureen and it felt oppressive, terrifying and unavoidable. I don't  know if it was a full blown affair but whatever it was, I certainly wouldn't be wanting another one like it in this lifetime! Lots of love to you. ❤️

Edited November 11, 2016 by MichaelS

[Jean Hamill]

Mike: So happy to hear you are recovering, your accident sounds horrific, a hard way to learn, but so pleased you came out of it so well.   Hugs Jean

[Hjortur]

On 2016-11-08 at 0:44 AM, MichaelS said:

[14:51] MEntity: It is okay to live for others, and for others to live for you, but not as a means to make up for existence.

[14:51] MEntity: At the heart of this mentality of living for others is an apology for one's existence.

[14:52] MEntity: It is a constant battle for earning one's right to exist.

[14:52] MEntity: This was taught to you by someone, and it is a lie.

 

I have read through this again and again! Thank you for posting this! I am also going through a crisis now. It feels like I will never be able to love myself, only others. I have always heard that this is impossible, that you have to love yourself to be able to love others. So maybe I am just believing that I love them but actually don't.  Sleep is also something that does not come easily to me. My crisis is surfacing as a review of a lifetime dealing with the results of a sexual abuse as a child from the age of 3 to 7. My feeling is that in order to earn the right to live I have to please others. Getting them to love me is crucial for my survival. I don't want to survive like that anymore. 

On 2016-11-11 at 9:00 AM, Maureen said:

It's not surprising that you blew your Higher Moving Center open. This Center, located at the 2nd or Sacral Chakra, is related to one's Right to Feel which translates into your Right to Intimacy, to Affection, to Creativity, to Pleasure.

 

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?

[MichaelS]

3 hours ago, Hjortur said:

I have read through this again and again! Thank you for posting this! I am also going through a crisis now. It feels like I will never be able to love myself, only others. I have always heard that this is impossible, that you have to love yourself to be able to love others. So maybe I am just believing that I love them but actually don't.  Sleep is also something that does not come easily to me. My crisis is surfacing as a review of a lifetime dealing with the results of a sexual abuse as a child from the age of 3 to 7. My feeling is that in order to earn the right to live I have to please others. Getting them to love me is crucial for my survival. I don't want to survive like that anymore. 

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?

I'm sorry to hear that Hjortur. You say 'You have to love yourself to love others'.

 

I've thought about that a lot and I've concluded that perhaps Older Souls can still find a way to love others, despite not loving themselves. This might be a default position, the sum of learning that is the result of living so many lives. But the quality of the 'love' in this equation is unbalanced. The damaged Old Soul puts the needs and interests of others above those of their own. That is to say, the Old Soul feels they 'don't matter' as much as others matter and the damaged Old Soul seeks intimacy in relationships believing that there's nothing that they, the Old Soul, could ever do for others that would be enough for love to be truly reciprocated.

 

The damaged Old Soul doesn't feel that they 'belong' and the feelings of isolation and exclusion themselves become the primary engine of all relationships. There then comes an apathy. 'Why would I even bother to seek a relationship with X? I'm not worthy of X and I will save X the trouble of rejecting me.' Children will negotiate relationships with a profound innocence and joy but the damaged Old Soul cannot do this. They instead succumb to a time weary, jaded cynicism because they know that they will never be good enough. The simply don't try.

 

But in those relationships that have been established they will continue to endlessly give of themselves, caring little for their own needs and instead seeking to justify their existence by giving beyond themselves and at the same time believing that they can never be unconditionally loved in return. It is an imbalance: the damaged Old Soul becomes forever FOR others, whilst being unable to accept that he can be WITH others. Instead we see ourselves as a dreadful burden to others and to ourselves. The damaged Old Soul might speculate that any relationship that is held dear, is always likely to disappear once the other person realises how little he or she is. 

 

Life is punctuated by events which come to be seen as an embodiment of a lack of self esteem. The damaged Old Soul interprets relationships negatively for him or herself, always on the lookout for those tell tale signs that he or she is truly worthless. They become hostage to these 'signs' and they become imprisoned by them. It is brutal. Only by literally blowing apart my Higher Moving Centre, could I begin to challenge this distortion of reality. 

[Timothy J Sullivan]

3 hours ago, MichaelS said:

Hjortur said "My feeling is that in order to earn the right to live I have to please others. Getting them to love me is crucial for my survival. I don't want to survive like that anymore. 

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?"

 

I know a number of friends - men and women- with a history of child sexual abuse that have "worked through" these very issues you describe. In addition to using skilled abuse counsellors, privately, they are colleagues and part of my "spiritual working group" which is based on the 4th Way School: The Diamond Approach, developed by A. H. Almaas and Karen Johnson. 

 

It is possible to recover the connection to your Essence, and experience the profound and healing love of one's own True Nature, one's own True Self  as Existence, as Love, as Truth, as Acceptance and many other Qualities as well.  First find a good counsellor who specializes in child abuse. 

[Maureen]

17 hours ago, Hjortur said:

I have read through this again and again! Thank you for posting this! I am also going through a crisis now. It feels like I will never be able to love myself, only others. I have always heard that this is impossible, that you have to love yourself to be able to love others. So maybe I am just believing that I love them but actually don't.  Sleep is also something that does not come easily to me. My crisis is surfacing as a review of a lifetime dealing with the results of a sexual abuse as a child from the age of 3 to 7. My feeling is that in order to earn the right to live I have to please others. Getting them to love me is crucial for my survival. I don't want to survive like that anymore. 

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?

 

Hjortur, I don't know whether this will help, or not, but I remembered some channeling I had with Michael where I asked them about a dream I had about my father and some other family members. The dream itself isn't as important as their response. Here's what they said:

 

MEntity:  This looks to be an examination of your personal ideas about what it means to feel special, important, and loved, and the sense of threat or defenses that might be attached to that. We think this has to do with your examination of others who may have these same personal ideas, and your drawing up Compassion/Empathy for application in understanding their dynamic.

 

MEntity:  Look around you, or in your mind, and see if there are those whom you know, or feel you know, are in positions that wish for that sense of specialness, focus, attention, importance, and allow that dream to bring about understanding, empathy, and compassion for their position.

 

Maureen:  A few people are coming to mind.

 

Maureen:  I get it – the compassion will come through having empathy for what they feel – but I first have to know it within myself.

 

MEntity:  That is not necessarily the case. It does not have to be one or the other, first. Whichever can come more easily can help cascade an effect of empathy and compassion throughout all of the scenarios.

 

MEntity:  We point that out so that you do not presume to be a lost cause, or a daunting task, to transform that from within, first. Sometimes the kindness and understanding that can come for others can be much easier to implement and then build upon as a kindness and understanding within the self.

 

 

Edited January 9, 2017 by Maureen

[Cong]

14 hours ago, Hjortur said:

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?

 

@Hjortur, I have a chief feature of self-depreciation, I can feel your pain. I think Mike S. has summarized beautifully regarding the imbalanced acts from a damaged old soul. For many years, I also had a behavior pattern in which I could only see the worth of self by "devoting" myself to others, I thought their recognition was the source of my happiness. Well, it never worked as I expected! Yes there will be temporary relief when you see smiles on other people's face, but for me, things always always went south when I hoped for salvation from others. It had been a reoccurring pattern for me many times, in which my seemly selfless love was brutally rejected and ignored by others. I was humiliated, furious, and desperate, I went into deep depression. Things started to change for me, when I finally got a sense that something is wrong and missing. And that magical thing is called the love of self. 

 

I didn't take the most joyful route in this lesson, I know. I basically learned self love through people I care for turning their backs on me, and metaphorically throwing knives at me. I learned self love when I know I absolutely cannot rely on others to become a "complete" person. Looking back, I think it's important to:

1. have a support system - someone or some community to whom you can share, complain and express even the most negative thoughts.

2. study and search for solution, and practice diligently. I consider Michael's teaching, especially those related to empowerment through choices, some of the greatest education on self-love. When I recognize a tendency to fall into a recursive pattern of self-depreciation, I consciously tell myself: hey, come up with a response, don't just react! What are some of the options I have here? The power lies in our ability to choose. 

3. Pray. I use this term very very loosely, what I meant is more like an open invitation to communicate with your essence, and sometimes the essence that's involved in your karma/energy imbalance. You pray that you will have the strength to walk through hardships, you pray that you can forgive all the pain that other causes you, and you pray that others will forgive things that you've done in the past. You asked for a release from the unhealthy attachment, and that you manifest the beauty of your essence. I found this "trick" helpful especially when I was still trapped in the negative poles of things, it calms me down and invite my essence to flow more freely within. Paradoxically, the more I "pray", the more I know I don't need praying: power and strength becomes who I am. I don't need to think to get to this conclusion, I just "know".

 

Regarding your traumatic past life memories, I think self-love will be a significant first step to heal this pain. Recognize you have a choice to take a different perspective, recognize you do not need to attach to this shadow of the past, and tell yourself you can face and review the experience and move on now...these seemly easy recognitions give the greatest power of them all.

 

May the ever-loving essence be with you!   

 

 

[MichaelS]

56 minutes ago, Maureen said:

MEntity:  Sometimes the kindness and understanding that can come for others can be much easier to implement and then build upon as a kindness and understanding within the self.

 

 

Yes Maureen, that's what I was trying to say. The process is akin to priming a pump that is malfunctioning Thanks for posting this as it validates what I know to be true for me. 

[Hjortur]

On 2017-01-08 at 0:03 PM, MichaelS said:

The damaged Old Soul doesn't feel that they 'belong' and the feelings of isolation and exclusion themselves become the primary engine of all relationships.

I have also read through these, your words several times, they seem to come from experience. I can relate to the damaged old soul in giving beyond myself. I have had some time since I read through this text the first time, it has been a difficult time. Then a week ago, while half asleep, I had a vision of a frozen, dirty and scabby dog with one ear missing begging me to let him into the house. I instantly fell in love with this dog and let myself in. Thank you for helping me along with your wise words!

[Hjortur]

On 2017-01-09 at 0:20 AM, Cong said:

 

 

1. have a support system - someone or some community to whom you can share, complain and express even the most negative thoughts.

2. study and search for solution, and practice diligently. I consider Michael's teaching, especially those related to empowerment through choices, some of the greatest education on self-love. When I recognize a tendency to fall into a recursive pattern of self-depreciation, I consciously tell myself: hey, come up with a response, don't just react! What are some of the options I have here? The power lies in our ability to choose. 

3. Pray. I use this term very very loosely, what I meant is more like an open invitation to communicate with your essence, and sometimes the essence that's involved in your karma/energy imbalance. You pray that you will have the strength to walk through hardships, you pray that you can forgive all the pain that other causes you, and you pray that others will forgive things that you've done in the past. You asked for a release from the unhealthy attachment, and that you manifest the beauty of your essence. I found this "trick" helpful especially when I was still trapped in the negative poles of things, it calms me down and invite my essence to flow more freely within. Paradoxically, the more I "pray", the more I know I don't need praying: power and strength becomes who I am. I don't need to think to get to this conclusion, I just "know".

 

 

4

I understand that many of us old souls are going through this exact same lesson. Thank you for sharing your experience! I consider this Michael group and the teachings to be my foremost support system. The teachings give me more distance and perspective to what I am experiencing when feelings run high. Praying has been more of last resort to me, like giving up or giving in to a higher power and just make me feel rebellious. But praying to my essence, yes I can relate to that from a personal perspective. I think I will adapt that and begin praying more when I experience a crisis or need a clarity to issues I am facing. 

[Hjortur]

On 2017-01-09 at 0:06 AM, Maureen said:

 

MEntity:  We point that out so that you do not presume to be a lost cause, or a daunting task, to transform that from within, first. Sometimes the kindness and understanding that can come for others can be much easier to implement and then build upon as a kindness and understanding within the self.

 

 

 

I think I can relate to what Michael is saying there on an essence level. Being kind and loving towards others is like reading a manual and understanding it on a personal level. When you then bring this knowledge into the practical, like repairing your own broken down machinery, you bring the experience to your essence thereby healing your own damaged old soul personality. 

[Hjortur]

On 2017-01-08 at 3:59 PM, Timothy J Sullivan said:

 

I know a number of friends - men and women- with a history of child sexual abuse that have "worked through" these very issues you describe. In addition to using skilled abuse counsellors, privately, they are colleagues and part of my "spiritual working group" which is based on the 4th Way School: The Diamond Approach, developed by A. H. Almaas and Karen Johnson. 

 

It is possible to recover the connection to your Essence, and experience the profound and healing love of one's own True Nature, one's own True Self  as Existence, as Love, as Truth, as Acceptance and many other Qualities as well.  First find a good counsellor who specializes in child abuse. 

 

I have heard about the fourth way. I have once (a long time ago) read a book by Ouspensky about the fourth way and Gurdjieff.  I have been through several counsellors and gotten some help that way. It is more my personal traits but not the experience that has troubled me. I have been dealing more directly with those traits lately. I think Gurdjieff has been mentioned as an early Michael channel. 

[MichaelS]

On 08/01/2017 at 7:23 AM, Hjortur said:

I have read through this again and again! Thank you for posting this! I am also going through a crisis now. It feels like I will never be able to love myself, only others. I have always heard that this is impossible, that you have to love yourself to be able to love others. So maybe I am just believing that I love them but actually don't.  Sleep is also something that does not come easily to me. My crisis is surfacing as a review of a lifetime dealing with the results of a sexual abuse as a child from the age of 3 to 7. My feeling is that in order to earn the right to live I have to please others. Getting them to love me is crucial for my survival. I don't want to survive like that anymore. 

Maybe this is what happens to a child that is sexually abused. Is there a way out of this state of mind?

I found this in my notes and I thought it may be of interest to you, Hjortur? I took it from the Ning site, (it's channelled by Troy) a few years ago but I've lost the date and provenance. 

 

[Michael_Entity] Child abuse is not a standardized event. There are many factors that may be involved in the experience of abuse, whether between adult and child, human and non-human, etc. Karma is either created or is being balanced, though it is very rare for an Agreement to be involved, except in the Old and Mature Soul Cycles. Abuse when linked to an Agreement is specifically, then, related to the imprinting required for the fulfillment of the Life Task. Whether the abuse is “used” effectively as a tool in that process will rely on the fragment and the use of the Overleaves, in general. Abuse in relation to “Authority Figures” and children is not a category anymore than abuse from a stranger harassing a child on the playground. There are no definitions or differentiations that can create categories of abuse except in “styles” of abuse. We will say, however, that those who have experienced abuse as children at the hands of Authority Figures (assuming it is not a Karmic Formation), are generally balancing Karma related to Positions of Authority where Abuse was inflicted by “themselves.” As with all Burning of Ribbons, the Karmic situation is usually, simply, reversed.

 

[Michael_Entity] Any formation/burning of Karma interrupts and distracts the life in a deeply affecting way. Karmic Formation can usually be identified as lacking compulsion to be involved, but there is an element of shock and chaos. Karmic Burning of Ribbons is usually marked by a compulsion to remain involved far past logic and emotion and body would dictate otherwise, followed by a great relief when the Karma is burned. In the event of the Burning, much of what was so compelling is then seen in a bewildering light, as if you were in a trance the whole time. In terms of facilitating Imprinting, the fragment being abused usually has a “bizarre” sense of safety and peace throughout the events. There is a creation of a strong support group outside of the event, in many of these cases, which are rare, as we said. The abuse as imprinting is heavily marked by this use of the experience as a platform for a greater vision or affect on the life in a discernible way, without referencing the abuse in a negative way.

 

Edited February 8, 2017 by MichaelS